Reegs starts things off with some embarrassingly poor puns this week proving just how out of material he was as we discuss the Top 5 Bears. From Gentle Ben to The Revenant we've probably got your favourite ursine actor covered, and if not you should let us know, call us morons etc via any of our channels below but probably email and Twitter.
Believe it or not but the story behind COCAINE BEAR is that it was the subject of a minor disagreement over intellectual property rights in our Bad Dads podcast WhatsApp group a few weeks back and also it was inspired by some actual events in that there really was a drug smuggler called Andrew C. Thornton II who died jumping out of a plane that crashed before distributing its cocaine across northern Georgia and a bear did indeed ingest a duffel bag full of it before dying. Writer Jimmy Warden uses these facts as a jumping off point to create an entertaining comedy horror with some funny lines, amusing characters and memorable moments which largely delivers on its instant memelike title and premise. I was a little bit disappointed though and felt the idea promises more than the ultimately a bit forgettable film can deliver.
SUPERTED was a Welsh animated series which ran in the early 80's on BBC1 or BBC2 or perhaps ITV you know it probably would have been easier to look that up than type this sentence but here we are. Every week SuperTed and his sidekick Spotty would save the world from minor peril brought about by gigantic chinned, moustachioed villain Texas Pete and his henchmen, the obese moron Bulk and a gay skeleton whose name escapes me. With a dramatic scene setting introduction and unexpectedly smooth disco outro music, its brevity alone would have ensured it was a strong recommend from us but also strong nostalgia for the skin ripping superhero ensured Pete and I at least were glad to revisit it.
We love to hear from our listeners! By which I mean we tolerate it. If it hasn't been completely destroyed yet you can usually find us on twitter @dads_film, on Facebook Bad Dads Film Review, on email at email@example.com or on our website baddadsfilm.com.
Until next time, we remain...
Reegs: So we've either recorded over the previous episode or we've got it.
That's, that's the amazing thing. And we'll find out in a few hours slash days.
Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review the podcast. That's basically a kind of therapy for some middle-aged men who've been stuck watching Frozen on repeat for the past however many years. This week's episode sees Peter emerging from hibernation to put together a bear themed episode as we start things off by discussing the top five movie and TV bears from Paddington to The Revenant.
We hope you don't get too grizzly with us if we miss your favorite after that. A subject that really panderers to a niche. Our main feature, the Comedy Horror Cocaine Bear before we talk about pretty much its polar opposite eighties British TV superhero series. Super Ted, A subject I think will all agree.
We're pretty well co qualified to talk.
Reegs: yeah. I dunno. I know, I know. I don't normally dup puns. It is a bit embarrassing really, isn't it? All that's left to do is introduce the dad, starting with Peter, who knows that with a large family, you become a master of multitasking in that you learn to ignore everyone all the time.
And we also have a Romanian Adonis Chris, who's so hot, he can cook a steak just by standing next to it. And finally there's me res Hello? You right,
Cris: Yeah. Alright. Yeah. Good.
Pete: Yeah. No, no side tonight.
Reegs: No side tonight. No, he's not joining us.
Pete: this is, I don't think we've had this triumvirate before, have we? You, you No, you, Chris and I,
Reegs: no, let's see how we get on.
Pete: Voted the triumvirate people would most like to have hosting a podcast.
Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, glad we can meet that.
What have you been watching, Pete?
Pete: Well, have I been watching? I've been watching there was a few things.
Reegs: Tiger King, you told us you've been watching.
Pete: so I've, I've, do you know what I watched the first season of the Tiger King. Yeah. And it kind of, it's, it's all tied neatly in a bow.
And spoiler alert, he ends up in prison in, in the first one, and then you just assume that's, that's kind of the end of the story. But no, they've gone and done a second series and, and it was, there was pretty much nothing else that the Mrs and I wanted to watch. And we just said, oh, should we just watch it?
Because we did enjoy the first one. I mean, it just made. Made me sort of feel good about myself and my life compared with the absolute like fuckups that are in this Yeah. In the series. Did you both watch the, the,
Cris: the first one? Yes. Yeah.
Pete: And yeah, there's another one now, and, and Joe
Cris: I can't believe they made another
Pete: Yeah. And he's, he's in prison. But you
Reegs: they'll have to go some to top the events of the first season, like we were saying before, kind of essential lockdown viewing and that story that just got crazier and crazier and crazier with people's spouses dying. And
Pete: it's, it's
Cris: no teeth and every, it was just amazing,
suicide by accident on like, what on,
Pete: So there, there wasn't the, unfortunately, there's nothing quite as, as good as that, but it's really good. The story just continues to, to roll on. And there there'll be more as well
Reegs: Yeah. Well, he's gonna be the next president of the United
States for America.
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, Free, free Joe Exotic is is gathering momentum, but there's, it's all still going on and it, it focuses on, Some of the other characters in that, that you saw in the first one, like absolutely fucking deranged and like the lengths that they'll go to to be assholes and lie about it and stuff.
It's, it is incredible. It's great, great viewing. I recommend that. Anything else? I watch, I watch, I watched something other in the real life. Narcos with Foxy from, you know, sas, no, you know, sas, who Daress wins Foxy, you know, you, you know, and Middleton or whatever. Have you ever fucking seen any of this stuff?
Reegs: I don't,
not Really? No.
Pete: Oh, okay. Right. Okay. So it's one of the, like the, the real lifes SAS guys who's then in that program where they send celebrities on and they scream at them and bully them. Not really. No. It's, it's, it's more, it's more fun than that cuz you get to see like idiotic, like celebrities get like screamed at.
Pete: But this is him actually going into all the, they're not called favelas in Columbia. Barriers, or, yeah, yeah, yeah. So go into those and basically, I, I, I can't get my head around it. It's like the, the drug traffickers and, and the, you know, the hit men and everything. Okay. They've got their faces covered, but they sign up to basically be interviewed and then one guy is like, yeah, come to my house.
We're, we're sticking a hundred kilos of cocaine on, on a ship tonight that's gonna go to Europe. And I'll show you how it's all done and how it works. And so I don't really, and, and they're just letting some random bloke from England, a video camera with a video camera come in and, and film it all and ask some questions about it.
Cris: Well, they all know that these guys are all Sean Penn, so they're not gonna turn to the, the FBI and tell them who they were and where they
Pete: But I mean, he is, he's a former Marine, like he's a, well, sorry, not a Marine equivalent. A Marine. He's a former, like s sbs like, you know, 10 years in the Special Forces. And a lot of what he had to do in Afghanistan was.
Go and basically like get all the, the drug traffickers and so on and, and murder them. So he's, he's worked for the, the other side for, for a long time, and now he's just doing this seemingly as like a hobby, which is, I, I guess it's
Reegs: gets him out
Pete: the thrill of the chase again, I guess, but in a different, in a different way.
Yeah. So that was quite interesting and compelling viewing. Chris?
Cris: I have to say, I've not really watched much. I've been quite busy this week and I didn't have time to watch much. I've watched the first three episodes of a TV series called Easy on Netflix. It's, it's a, it's all right. I guess I, it didn't, I, I probably won't watch the rest of it.
It's meant to be two or three seasons, and it's, in my opinion, from what I've seen in the, in the trailer and what I've seen, the first three episodes is pretty much a, an adult version of sex education, but American and in Chicago so it's people with kids, pe, people that are youngsters, single couples gay couple girls, gay couple guys, all that stuff.
And, and with their problems and their life, how it is at this time in America and Chicago. But I wasn't really impressed with it, to be fair. So I I I might give it a recommend. Yeah, strong recommend. I might give it another go because these episodes are actually only half an hour long.
that's hitting the sweet
Pete: is that the only thing it's got going for it then?
Cris: so far? Yeah, so, so it's, you can imagine I've seen three of them. So, so I've done an hour in my half of my life and it's not really been that great, to be honest, but
that's pretty much the only thing I could, I, I, I've watched this week.
Pete: other stuff. Watch the Tiger King
Cris: I will do,
Pete: watch it in half hour chunks.
Cris: Oh, no, no. I watched the whole, that was fascinating. No, this was, this was more just like something that I thought, okay, let me put it on. Maybe me and my girlfriend can watch something together, but after 20 minutes, she was on her phone already, so yeah, it's not a good look.
Reegs: Succession. I watched the first episode of season four of Succession. It continues to be absolutely brilliant, my heart Strong, massive recommend for all
Pete: That might be yeah. We're cuz Cindy and I, we've got, I'm, I'm now at that thing where I'm waiting for the next episode of the Mandalorian waiting for Yellow Jackets, the next episode. And we need to, to fill the time in between.
Reegs: Oh, that'll do it.
Pete: That'll do it. Yeah. Okay.
Cris: I have to say though, I did show Kara the trailer for Yellow Jackets and she's kind of agreed. More because I've pushed it, but she kind of agreed to start watching it.
Pete: And you haven't seen it.
Cris: I've not seen
Pete: It's really, it's really good.
Cris: good. But, but I've kept hearing you and Sidi talk about it, so I thought, let me just kind of throw it out there and see what, what am I getting out of this? And also what, what you would think about it. But I think, I think we're gonna give a go. The only thing is I want, I, I can't wait a week for the next episode than another week.
So I'd rather wait for the whole thing to finish and then I'll watch it. I, I, I, I can't, I dunno, I've always hated the, it's one a
Reegs: I feel like that. But succession is weekly episodes and I fear spoilers. That's the main thing. So The eternal debate.
We had some lost top fives last week.
Mav gave us people's virginity in almost every horror film ever. And he does have a point. And
we talked about That's true. Yeah. And Joe Bevis, he offered us, dude, where's my car? Helpfully explaining that they lose the car.
Reegs: So thanks for that,
Cris: done, Joe. I,
Reegs: I've seen
Pete: seen that film once and I, I can't remember if it's bollocks or not.
Cris: It's, it's actually quite funny. It's
Pete: Ashton Kutcher, isn't
Cris: it? Yes. And Stifler,
Pete: Oh, is it? Yes, it's, yeah, it's gonna, it's gonna, there'll be some lull moment. I've seen it, but can't remember anything about it. They lose a car, don't they? They do. Yeah. Yeah.
pick that one.
Pete: Okay, let's do that. That's in,
Reegs: so a bear themed week, Peter?
Pete: Yeah, I think mostly in inspired by the fact that I'd heard quite a bit, there was quite a lot, a bit of noise around cocaine bear.
Mm-hmm. And I thought that sounds like the sort of film that I would like to watch. I knew the.
Bits of the, the true story.
Pete: But then I thought, oh, this is like a then an adaptation a dramatization of, of what happened or may have happened, and that should be really good. So inspired by that, I do like a themed week and like to try and tie these things in together.
So yeah, we came up with top five bears.
No, someone else can go first this time.
Reegs: All right. Well Chris, why don't
you take us out?
Cris: I've got the first one is a very simple one, and it's uh, Belu in the Jungle book. Mm-hmm. Who is obviously a bear and he's got bare necessities and all sorts. So I thought that was quite a funny and is very simple one.
It didn't say if it's a movie series or a cartoon, so I, I guess it's as all good as, as good as any,
Reegs: Yeah. I mean, this isn't a job interview. Yeah, we can, you know, we can just make it, we could just make it fun.
Pete: It'd be weird if it was a job
Cris: I obviously did have, I did have Pan Paddington, but that was already in the introduction.
And to be fair, that would've been the most British bear ever invented.
Reegs: Yeah, you can't just skirt past Pennington cuz the two, have you seen the two recent
Cris: I've not seen any of them.
Pete: I've not seen them either. They are absolutely nothing,
Reegs: especially the second one.
Pete: Nothing kind of makes me wanna watch
Cris: I've only seen the one when, I think it was the advert for the Olympics or something, or for the Queen's Jubilee or something and he sit down with the queen.
Reegs: Yeah, no, you're, you're both really wrong about this.
They're clever and funny and there's, they're really well made and they're something that you can watch with the kids, but you could watch by yourself. Great.
Pete: the, the original, it must have been a series I found sort of quite endearing.
It was, it was, yeah. I, I like the, the animation and everything about the original one. Although it always used to perturb me when he was having, cuz it's jam sandwiches is his thing,
Pete: it? And obviously being a bear and he's got marmalade sandwiches. Sorry. Yeah. Similar thing. But it used to perturb me that he's like, he's hairy.
Yeah. And he's, he's handling marmalade sandwiches and then he's gonna have hair getting in the marmalade and that and, or, or then like marmalade stuck to his hair, like quite matted to his paws and stuff.
Reegs: he's in the shower after him.
Pete: I know. And that, and that's kind of, that, that pretty much is the biggest single reason why I haven't watched the, the films.
Yeah. Because of
Reegs: they're delightful. Hugh Bonneville and Ben Haw are great casting and, and huge Grant is in the second one as well, so, yeah.
Pete: Uh, Maybe the good, the good for the kids
Reegs: and you? No,
seriously. you. Yeah,
Pete: might try, I might try it out on the kids, but if they check out, I'll probably check out as well.
We skirted over Balu as well. I mean, he's pretty iconic in, in the, in the old Jungle book
Reegs: and ties into Lost in translation last week cuz Bill Murray played him in the remake.
Did you ever see
Pete: I did see that, yeah. How did you feel about that?
Reegs: I didn't mind because I got to go to the cinema. Actually, we left the kids with mother-in-law or something and
Pete: Oh, so it could have been anything. Yeah. Of what? Yeah.
the test card could have been up for two hours soon. You've had the best, best night of your life. Yeah.
Reegs: Well, what have I got? I was gonna start with an annihilation. Have you seen that? We did X Macer a few weeks ago, and that was also by Alex Garland and this, he followed that one up with Annihilation, a Netflix exclusive. You can still see that if you've got a Net's account.
It's got this like weird high concept premise with a, a sort of slowly expanding bubble of weirdness called the shimmer has been emanating from a fallen meteor and like no one who's gone into it has come out alive except for Natalie Portman's husband, Oscar Isaac, who might be acting weird because he's like, Been interfered with by the shimmer or because he is cheating or no, you don't really know.
Anyway, she has to go inside the shimmer with a team, and the further they get in the weirder it gets different flowers growing from the same stalk, rainbow colored fungus walls covered in veins. And then finally an attack by a bear with half of its skull exposed, which can mimic the dying screams of your companions.
So yeah, that was a pretty crazy bear and it's a good film. It
just goes to completely insane at the end. Doesn't really explain anything. But yeah, definitely a strong recommend for that.
Cris: Okay. Sounds, yeah, good. Sounds
Pete: quite in. It sounds intriguing.
Pete: Okay, well, and, and quite sort of sinister and scary and arguably the most sinister and scary bear that I have seen in movies is lot. So Hugging Bear,
Pete: In Toy Story three. Have you seen this, Chris?
Pete: You should do, this is a, this is a banger.
Cris: his toy story? Three. Three.
Pete: It's the one where Andy's. Grown up to a point where his, his mom's telling him to clean out his toys. Now he needs to get rid of them. Some of them are gonna go just to like the, like, you know, there's a yard sale and stuff like that, but some of them are gonna go be donated to a, a kindergarten.
Yeah. So the majority are donated to kindergarten, but would he still has, would he thinks that he's going off to college with Andy? So that's, that's why he he escapes from the kindergarten, but there's a bear there and it's, I think it was a real American toy. So it's like a bear that, like a sort of a burgundy ish kind of color who smelled like you hug him.
But he smells of strawberries. Okay. And and on first kind of meeting with him, he's, he's, he's got this kind of like, sort of deep south accent, accent or something like that. And he's really accommodating and, and welcoming and cuz they're, they're really worried about going to kindergarten all the.
Getting mishandled and stuff, but then soon you find out that he, that all is not well, and that he's actually running it like a sort of a prisoner of war camp kind of thing. Like, and he's a fucking asshole, like, like so overtly. So that even at the bit where that they're going into like one of the, one of the most tense pieces of cinema where they're, they're going down towards the, the furnace just before that they're on this conveyor belt and lot so like stuck and buzz jumps down and helps him, buzz and Woody, I think jump down and help him.
And he then says, oh, he, he goes, I'm gonna run up that ladder and press like the emergency stop button runs up to the top. And they literally just helped him escape. And then he just like h pull hovers over the button Yeah. And doesn't press it. And then just basically like, where's your kid now? Yeah.
And then runs off, like to leave him to burn to death,
Pete: Fucking heartless. And then, yeah, my heart was in my mouth for, for the remainder of that scene. He got his comeuppance. So he got, he got basically got what those little things cable tied to the front of a truck. Yeah. You know, you get like bin lorries and stuff that have bears and stuff.
He, he does that and he's got flies going in his mouth and stuff, so he gets his comeuppance. But he fucking sinister quite scary to the point where, like, my mum, every time like the kids watched it, right, like round at her house or something. Mum was like, oh, I don't like them watching it. This be, that bear's horrible.
He's like, it's, you know, quite affecting.
Cris: Okay. So is that good? Okay.
Well, I've got a couple of them. I've got one that's. Technically a badger, but,
But I've got the description of it. So you'll, you'll pardon me for this one, right? It's a cocaine badger from the movie. It's all gone pong. And, and the description is, originally the badger was placed into the Ade family, I e bears. But it is now clear that the Badger isn't a true member of the Weasel family. The weasel family is one of the most diverse families within the larger order of the carnivores. So I actually thought it would be a bear, but
Reegs: we're never gonna have a top five badges.
I wouldn't have
Cris: is a badger. And it's and it's, it's also pretty much tied to, to the topic of
Reegs: well, it's a badger that does
Pete: there's a cocaine badger.
Cris: Yes. And he is very much into the role of this movie. And I dunno if you've ever seen, it's, it influenced my youth,
Pete: Hang on. It's all gone. Pete Tong, this is the Welsh guy.
Is it the Welsh guy? He's a dj and he goes, deaf. Yes, I have seen this. And the cocaine badger. It's like a figment of his imagination. I've fucking seen this. Yeah. And, and now I know exactly what you're talking about. It's massive, isn't it? The Badger. Yeah. Well, have you seen this film? It's a really good film.
Reegs: Is it
Ris France? Is that
Pete: Is it Reese Sevens or am I confusing that with Kevin and Perry Golar? Cuz he's a, he's a, he's eyeball Paul in that, and he's a dj. It might be Reese Evans
Cris: I can't remember his name,
Pete: Ah, but it's a, it is a good film.
Cris: a good film. And, and obviously when I was growing up and, and all that, that would be, you know, the, the, the place to go, to go to I,
I dunno followed up that movie. But that's, that was the, I thought it was a, an iconic movie for me. And also, This is not a movie, but it is in the Hall of Fame and advertising. It's a John West advert when the guy fights a bear over a Salman.
so it's in the hall of fame and advertising. It's one of the best adverts ever made, and I'm pretty sure whoever listens to this
Pete: that it, like, it's,
Pete: like, it's like handbags.
Cris: Yeah, handbags. And also after that, it's almost like a dance face fight off, whatever you call it. So
Pete: I'm remembering this now.
Cris: So that was those two were maybe not necessarily a, a, a movie, but, well, one of them was a badger, so it wasn't a movie, but it was a cocaine badger.
But the second one was definitely a, a bear. And I'll, I'll, I've got a couple more, but we'll
Reegs: Yeah, yeah. Save them. We'll, we'll move on. We've got the revant that we watched on this prominently features a bear attack.
Cris: Yeah. I had that one as well
Reegs: well on Leonardo DiCaprio. Superb. That
Cris: Hugh Glass
Reegs: Hugh Glasses, Right.
Pete: Yeah. The, the scene itself I is just like absolutely
I can imagine. That was amazing in the cinema.
Oh yeah. I've seen it in the cinema as well, actually. The, it was, yeah, it was brilliant.
Reegs: Ted, did you see
Yeah, I have that as well.
Pete: Is there two of
Cris: Yes. Yeah, they're both actually. I thought they were both really very good.
Reegs: You know, most of it is if the premise of like a sort of raunchy teddy bear cracking jokes that likes drugs and booze and hookers. If you, if that sounds funny to you, then you'll probably like it. But I, and like the concept is kind of funny, but I find everything with Seth McFarland, he just runs every joke into the ground like a billion times over, a bit like we do on this pod.
Reegs: And what else I had, well, amazing. We haven't really done this yet on the pod, his Yogi Bear.
Cris: I remember that.
Reegs: And they live in Jellystone Park, him and Boo Boo.
Reegs: And there's stealing of Picken neck baskets
Pete: yeah. So he was basically a thief, wasn't he? He, he was always trying to steal the picker Nick Baskets. And Booboo wasn't happy with that. Yeah, he was a bit of a fanny, wasn't he? Boo
Reegs: right. He was a bit more moral.
Cris: also he was, he was very short compared to Yogi. I dunno what kind of a type of bear he was, but he
Pete: a cub maybe. Was he sort of an this
Reegs: was a brown bear and black bear type thing going on. Maybe, I
Cris: maybe could I, I I wouldn't know.
There's a live action movie from 2010 starring Dan Akroyd. Yes.
Pete: I bet that's awful.
Reegs: That The
pain in BooBoo's eyes when he kills Yogi broke my Heart
Pete: when he kills Yogi.
happen. I know. Yeah. Shame cuz I reckon it would've been a better film even though I haven't seen it.
Pete: Was it crap?
Yeah. I thought so. Are you handing over? Yeah. Okay.
So. This is here, here we go. This is an interesting one. So there is a bear in, I've read a trilogy of books when I was traveling the, his, his dark materials.
Reegs: All right.
Pete: at Phil Philip Pullman. And they were fucking gripping the re like I was trying to explain it to a friend of mine that was traveling and he was saying, that sounds awful, like witches and armored bears and stuff.
He's like, sounds awful. And then I, he was, he was ill one day and I went out for that. I came back and he was like, three quarters of the way through the first book. He was like, I can't put this down. Brilliant. Like, brilliant reads. And then it just obviously, I dunno whether it, it just can't translate to the, to the big screen.
Yeah. But then the film,
Reegs: oh, the Golden
Pete: compass went down like a shit sandwich, didn't it? It was, which like the cast was really strong. But the, the reason I'm mentioning it is, is ire bernon. Who is the, the main armored bear? The one that befriends, Lyra
Reegs: armored bear. So a bear who wears armor.
Pete: Oh, y yeah. Yeah. So, and his armor is kind of so in this, in this world, like they're, the, the, these people have like demons. They have, you know, like a
Reegs: all got our demons, Pete.
Pete: Exactly. But these are literal, sort of manifest physical manifestations of animals as, as your demonn sort of thing. But with the bears, it's like their armor.
It's kind of, even though they wear it, it's almost like part of them as well. And if you take, so when, when you encounter Ric Bernon in the, in the book, in the, in the film, he's lost his armor. I think it's been, he's been captured and his armor's been sold off or something. And he's basically turned into an alcoholic.
And he's, yeah, fallen on hard times feeling very sorry for himself. But Lira manages to get his armor back, and then he's restored to his former glory and he like rips out the throat of another, another bear to, to kind of become the, you know, the, the King Bear kind of thing. The TV series, the bbc.
Historic materials. It was done over three series was really good. Okay. I really, really enjoyed that. But The Golden Compass. Yeah. Bond. Bond. I dunno why I, I think there's, I think there's a brilliant film trilogy to be made there, but no one's been able to do it so far.
Cris: I've got Kung fu Panda.
Cris: Which I think we've all, I mean, I, I can't remember how many of them are I've, I've, I'm pretty sure I've only seen two.
Pete: I think there's at least three,
Reegs: Yeah, at least three. Yeah.
Cris: I, and I remember properly only probably the first one, but, but it, it's a bear mind you panda, but it's still a bear. It's part of the Bear family and he loves, he learns kung fu and everything, so it's again, an iconic bear.
And I also,
A bear attack from the legendary movie called The Hobbit, which I know you love, Pete.
Reegs: is there a bear attack
Cris: Yes, it is at, it is one of the opening scenes in the desolation of smog. It's beyond the skin changer.
Pete: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He's, he's a, like a shape shifty type guy.
He's, he's got a, he's good. Don't they go to his gaff? Yes. They stay at his house. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Cris: and, and the, I can't remember who, but announced the same like, beware of Bjorn. He's a skin changer. Yeah. And, and then he turns into a bear and he tries to attack them.
Cris: the last one I have is that, I think,
Cris: That's the last one.
Reegs: Well, I've got a note here about whether he walks in Wikis, but it's not as if we've ever talked about star Wars
Pete: They're not bears. They're, they're bears. They're literally ewoks and woos.
Reegs: Buster Moon from the Singh franchise. He's a
koala. he's a
Pete: What, what, say, going back to, to Wooki. So in Chewbacca's voice, they use bear, it is bears and lions or I can't remember it.
Reegs: and a Formula One car.
Pete: Yeah. And a former, they use it. So there is bears in Chewbacca's voice. Yeah. Yeah.
Reegs: Did anybody see the Russian superhero film Guardians? I'm throwing it out there. Chris, I'm hoping you are going to show me.
This was about it was made in like 2017 and I think Netflix Amazon Prime had it for a while. Four Superhumans created during the Cold War. And one of them is con is like good with rocks as shit as that sounds one's really fast. One's got loads of stuff because they basically
gave her everything flexible, can turn invisible, blah, blah, blah.
And then one of them can turn into like a bear. And
Cris: I'm pretty sure I've seen at least an episode of this, but I might have
Reegs: It's a movie. It's a movie. It's
Cris: probably, oh, it's a movie.
Reegs: now. Yeah. I would not recommend watching it because although it sounds like a good idea in principle, like actually sitting down to watch it is a chore, so. Okay.
Yeah. And Grizzly Man, has anybody seen that? The Verna Hertz Sog documentary about who, what was his name? Timothy Treadwell.
a gripping documentary. Oh. I don't really wanna spoil it for you, because some really amazing things happen in there in a court. But it's basically about this, it's not too much of a spoiler, I guess to say that this guy who went and lived with the Bears and his girlfriend was killed by them and there's hours of documentary footage and her,
Pete: and this is all true.
Really incredible. And also as incredible, that was furry Vengeance, which was the Brendan Fraser comedy. He spends most of it. As a sort of human toilet, basically, like various animals like defecating on him, including a bear at one point. So.
Cris: Really? interesting.
Is that by choice or
Reegs: No, it's a comedy movie. He, he plays this sort of weak willed real estate agent and he moves out to the middle of nowhere, Oregon to do some project and the local wildlife sort of turn against him. It's a family
movie. There's one point where he ends up in a port loop, like being thrown down some.
Yeah. It's terrible. Okay. Terrible.
Pete: Hmm. Okay. The last one like that I wanted to talk about rather than just mention is a, a big favorite, I'm sure of yours, reeks growing up in, in Jersey. And same here. Well, I say in Jersey, like in the uk. Don't know if it ever would've reached your shores, Chris, but have you ever heard of Rainbow?
Zippy. Zippy, George. Jeffrey and Bun
Tune rainbow. So there was a bear in it called Bungo.
Cris: Is that that TV series?
Pete: Yeah. Yeah. It was like a kids' TV show. It was, it was, you know, couple. No, no, no. So it was like a, so it was like a, a bloke. And then there was like a
Reegs: a guy in a bondage mask basically with Zippy.
Pete: Called Zippy. He was like a hand puppet. Who was like, he, he was, he, he was a bit, you know Yeah.
Reegs: he was an
Pete: the edges. And then there was like George, like a
Reegs: Elderly Pink Pick Hippo.
Pete: Like Hippo. There was Rod Jane and Freddy who was like the, they did the dancing and the music. I'm pretty sure Jane would get it as well.
Reegs: Yeah. yeah.
Pete: Probably from Rod Freddy as well.
Pete: but then there was Bun who was a fucking dick.
He was really irritating. He was just like a,
Reegs: it's like a, massive buzzkill. Yeah. Like they come in and like the whole room would deflate. You're like, oh God, here comes bunga
Pete: Yeah. He was always like the one, like panicking about everything
Reegs: and yeah,
Pete: was, he was a complete trap. He weird, weird thing about him is that he was, he never wore clothes cause he's a bear.
Yeah. But he had a child, but then No, no. He wore, he always put pajamas on before he went to bed. That's right. So he wouldn't wear clothes all day. And then he put pajamas on it. And there was, there was some scenes where if he'd just come out of the bath or whatever, he'd have a towel like wrapped around him.
One thing I, the only thing I'd worth mentioning as well about Bal, so there's a guy called Stanley Bates who was playing Bal in, in the Bear costume, which was more realistic than the one in Bears. Bears and Bad Men. Yeah. And he got fired. After a live show when a, a kid accidentally stood his foot and he told the kid to fuck off.
Nice. Yeah. Which I thought was good. Which would make bal far better really, if he behaved like that. Anyway, that's, that's all the ones that I wanted to talk about. There was in the wacky races, which I dunno is, which is brilliant, but has never really been mentioned
Reegs: mentioned it a few weeks.
I wasn't, I must have been one I wasn't on and therefore didn't listen to. Yeah. There's a, this blubber bear who's in, who's part of the Arkansas Chugga bug
Reegs: one's that?
Pete: It's, there's, it's, it's like, it looks like a building. Yeah. Not like the Haunted Mansion.
Cris: No, it looks like a more like a cabin.
Pete: a cabin
Cris: I know which one you mean.
Pete: the Arkansas chocolate bug. Yeah. It's, yeah, it's got a steam powered like boiler on it. It's like the, the car. There is Bobo.
Mr. Burns Bear
Reegs: Oh yeah, of course. Yeah.
Pete: episode dedicated, like dedicated to him losing it. I said, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Who else have we got fo bear from?
Reegs: Foie Bear From the Muppet. It's
Got a Care Bears.
Pete: got the care bears. Absolutely.
Reegs: It's a little
known fact that the, you know, those things on their stomachs that that's actually their gene.
Pete: I knew there was a reason why it aroused me. There's that Rupert the Bear, which there was a TV series of, I used to really like the I used to like his trousers first and foremost. He had,
Reegs: definitely admires his dress
Pete: I'm sure Rupert Bear is, he's sure. Sorry. He's got a pair of Rupert Bear trousers.
But the, like in the books, I remember he used to, he was just like a, an anthro Anthro that one, one of those, yeah. Yeah. Bear. But he, he used to get in like. Hot air balloons that had taken him up to like big cities in the sky and stuff. It was quite all right. It was pretty full on. And then what else was there?
Winning the Pooh Worth to
Cris: another one who doesn't wear trousers. Winnie the Pooh.
Pete: wears a t-shirt, but
Cris: I know. He's like a crop top actually. He's not really a, he's like, his gut is like sticking out.
Pete: That's how I dress at home.
Reegs: They're making a, this is genuinely true. A, a horror movie. Winnie the Poo. Blood and Honey.
Cris: I've seen that actually. I've seen the trailer
Reegs: coming out soon. It's a British movie cuz the copywriters expired I think on, so Disney I think owned the rights to, I think this is the story. Winnie de Poo and the copywriters expired. So now you are getting a deviant horror movie featuring a
I've got the description here. They've become feral and blood thirsty murderers terrorizing a group of young U University women and an adult Christopher Robin.
Pete: This is the whole gang. This is like piglet and EOR and everyone getting in on
Reegs: po and piglet. I don't know. Yeah, really? EO has to be in it does.
The Antigua was Tega
Pete: was, Yeah. Yeah, be great.
Only last one I had to mention was Gentle Ben. Only because even at a young age, I was like absolutely like captivated by how ugly Clint Howard was. Oh really? Yeah.
Reegs: I remember thinking, this is an entertainment, what are you trying to do here?
This is not Yeah.
Pete: Yeah. There's a lot of airboats.
Reegs: Yeah. I'd never liked any of those. Like, fucking flipper and,
Pete: littles hobo.
Reegs: Oh, well that had the good theme tune going
Pete: Did There's a voice. Yeah.
Reegs: Yeah. But it wasn't a bear.
Pete: Okay. No, true. Any, any other tweaks?
Reegs: Let's choose our
Pete: put people in. Yeah. Okay, Chris.
Cris: I would go for Blue from the Jungle Book.
I am gonna go for the grizzly man.
Pete: I'm gonna have to go for Loto hugging bear.
Reegs: All right. And we'll get side to give us a bear and one from the audience.
Pete: I like it.
Reegs: So Peter, you chose for us Cocaine Bear.
did, I did. As I, as I said all I. Heard about it, was this kind of,
just need to hear the title really, don't you?
To be honest. It's like,
Pete: like, Urban Legends that was a a bear that had eaten a load of cocaine.
Reegs: You were familiar with that story before?
Pete: Not before. I think the, the stuff today, I think maybe six months a year ago or whatever, I, I heard the title or there's, there's a film being made called Cocaine Bear and this is the true story and then nobody knew anything about the film. And what the reason I'm sort of mentioning that is because in my head immediately I'm thinking, okay, that, that sounds like an interesting film.
And I've got kind of like, you know, like Revant vibes, but maybe over the course of a full movie or whatever.
Pete: and that's kind of, I guess kind of what I was expecting. I but. Anyway, we,
Reegs: it's a sort of a Snakes on a Plain style B movie more than anything I guess we can get into. It's directed by Elizabeth Banks who did Pitch Perfect.
And some of those she was also an actress that you've seen in loads of stuff as well.
Pete: Well, I, I guess what, what I was trying to say before is I had no idea that this was gonna be like a horror comedy.
Cris: Yeah. I've not, I've, I've heard, like, I'm pretty much on, on board. The same with you. I've heard about it probably about a year ago when you know how it is.
Blokes talk about, huh? Have you seen what's coming up next year? Have you seen, oh, you must watch this and there's always a, a, a, a trailer or, or something that you get, be it 30 seconds or a minute or, or the full trailer for two and a half
Pete: I, I'd not seen any trailers or anything. I didn't know what the bear looked like. I just assumed it was like a, a, a serious film or a semi at least, you know, semi-serious film and not kind of like what we got.
Yeah. But then I, I guess before I'd seen it as well, I'd heard of a couple of the names of people that were attached it. I heard Ray Utter was, was you know, gonna be in it.
Reegs: I think this is the last movie that he released before he died. Yeah, yeah.
Pete: looking a bit
Reegs: dedicated posthumously to
Pete: It is, it is indeed. Yeah.
Reegs: So we start with Jefferson Star.
tune is Jane, which if you don't know, it's a classic rock song that you've heard a thousand times, even if you don't know the name. Yeah. And then a wild eye eyed guy that we will come to know is Drug Smuggler, Andrew C. Thornton.
And he's throwing red duffle bags out the open door of a plane. There's like 40 or 50 of these bags, I guess.
And they are
Cris: quite a few of them. Yeah.
Reegs: Stocked to the brim, filled with brown packages. And by his demeanor where he, while he's like rocking out to this song and karate chopping and throwing bags out, he's pretty much been getting high off his own supply, I think is
Pete: basically, yeah.
It's worth saying that this Andrew c Thorns some was a real guy. Yeah. And was a real like a narcotics officer, like DEA or whatever.
Pete: Who got like, you know, lured into the, into the world of, of drug smuggling and became like a bit of a kingpin. Yeah. In, in the drug smuggling game. So this was him obviously at the height of his drug smuggling game when he's like you say, getting high and it shows, what does it show him?
Like he just, he goes to jump out, he like bangs his
Reegs: he gets all cool. He puts his shades on. Yeah. He gets like a duffle bag around his waist, puts his parachute on. He's all ready to go. And just as he jumps out, he sort of heads headbutts.
The doorframe of the airplane just falls out.
Pete: Like, yeah. So he is knocked himself out and obviously then he is incapable of opening his shoot.
So, he dies. We don't see that.
Reegs: No. We get a based on true events. I think it's more based on events that would've been funny. It's more accurate because the true events kind of stop at this point.
Pete: It's real, it's, it is really like the, I guess the imagination of what happened after this thing, because that part did happen.
This guy, yeah, did I think his shoot just didn't open or something. He
Cris: it was only the emergency parachute that opened. But the emergency one is generally when you are, I think under 400 meters or something like that. Right. So, so that's basically, if the first one doesn't work, the second one deploys, but if it's under 200, 400 meters, it's not gonna save you because you're dropping at a, at
a, at a high speed.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
So apparently that's what happened, even if he did hit his or not in reality, yeah. If, if the first parachute didn't open, the second one opened too late and he
Pete: died. And he died. But what it leaves is a load of a load of duffle bags and some of them like burst open and stuff with fucking tons and tons of cocaine hanging around.
In this area of
Cris: around Blood Mountain?
Pete: Yeah. In, yeah. It's in Knoxville, Tennessee, isn't
Reegs: Chattahoochee National Park in Georgia
Pete: Oh, okay. Oh right.
Reegs: and it's in 1985, and we are with recently engaged Icelandic couple, Ola and Elsa.
Reegs: one of them is Christopher Hdu
Pete: is indeed. This is like Torman giant
Pete: Who, what? Okay. Game of Thrones fan, Chris.
Cris: I've never watched
Pete: Ah, so so the big, the big, he doesn't actually look that big, but in, in in Game of Thrones, he's fucking, he's a king.
Reegs: kick. He's always trying to come on to Bri.
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Reegs: yeah, Anyway Elsa has got a, a conspicuous, enormous red backpack. I think it's fair to say they're planning for the future, talking about children wedding planning.
Elsa isn't happy that Olaf's terrible brother is gonna be playing in the band at the wedding. And as they talk and ramble, we see an enormous bear footprint in the soil and a red duffle bag hanging from a tree above, don't we? And then on this like majestic outcrop, we get our first glimpse of the bear.
Reegs: Sort of from a distance.
Pete: Yeah. But she's looking through a
Reegs: tele us. They're trying to take
Pete: Yeah, exactly. Through the camera, but like the zooms on or whatever. So she sees it with this straightaway. The bears
Reegs: a beautiful thing in nature, but it's headbutting a tree.
Reegs: And it's demented or something says ola as they're looking at it, and then suddenly it's sort of like they look away and talk and then when they look back it's like comically well closer and that sort of
Pete: And they, they have, and there is a saying, apparently this is true with the, the what you should do if you encounter a bear.
Yeah. And I can't remember what it is. I should
Cris: in the introduction. Yeah. In the introduction
waft, it says cocaine bear. It just says there's a description and at the end it says, source Wikipedia
Reegs: if Wiki.
That made me laugh. Wikipedia. Yeah.
You're supposed to fight a bear
Cris: If you, if it's black, fight back. If it's brown play dead.
Reegs: but there's a running gag all the way through of people shouting different strategies to avoid being attacked by a bear that's high on
None of them are very successful, is what I would say.
Anyway, the bear chases them down, takes her out, all the gore is kind of hidden by the bushes until we see a dismembered leg land in front of Olaf's face. And I think he runs off screaming. And then the title cocaine bear is the bear roars.
Pete: Yeah. Well he roars and then a butterfly comes fast and he's like, and then just kind of like wanders off and follows it. So, yeah. Yeah. You know, straight away. So, bearing in mind I thought this was gonna be like serious, a serious film.
Yeah. For some reason. I dunno why, like an action film, I thought I knew there'd obviously be like encounters with people in high stakes and all of this, but I had no idea it was gonna be like, A comedy horror type thing. Yeah. And straight away, within a few minutes you, you, you know what you are, you're letting yourself
Reegs: Yeah. Cuz this is more in the vein of like a piran type movie or a, it's an animals run a mock type comedy type thing rather than Yeah. A serious action movie. Definitely.
Anyway we get some public service adverts from the eighties and celebrities talking about don't do drugs.
And then the news story, this is like actual news footage I guess of, of the, when Andrew Thornton
It certainly looked that way. Yeah.
Reegs: Splattered across a suburban neighborhood. We meet Isaiah Whitlock. She
Pete: has right?
Reegs: Yeah. From The Wire. No, watch that, that joke just falls completely
Pete: Yeah. Side should have been here for that. Really?
Reegs: Yeah. And he ties the body together with local drug, Barron, Sid White.
Reegs: And theorizes that there's more cocaine out there and he's, you know, we're gonna go and find it.
Yeah. And Bob has a stupid shitty dog that he adopted, which was supposed to be a Labrador or something. Yeah. But it was a chill hour. Maybe
Cris: I can't, it's, it's like some sort of fluffy poodle or something. I dunno.
got, it's, yeah. Maltese Bik or something like that. It's, it's a, it's a furry little dog.
Yeah. It looks fairly shit to be honest.
Reegs: The whole time I was wondering if it was gonna get on the Coke, but it doesn't. Spoiler alert. And then we are gonna meet Ray Otta, his character Sid and his fixer David. They meet a, a soft play type place where he's looking after his son, Eddie's son.
his grandson. Yeah.
Pete: Gabe is the son is is the, is the grandson. Yeah. Yeah.
Reegs: And Eddie, his son is kind of brokenhearted and well, his wife has just died.
And he's sort of abandoned his family and he's just getting drunk and whatnot. And he's basically ordered David, his fixer to take his son up to the mountains to go and retrieve the Coke.
Cris: And, and his son has an amazing tattoo
Pete: yeah. Of John. It's meant to be Joan and he's got a week before he can have it removed or covered up or whatever. So he's, he's, yeah, he's, if, if it wasn't bad enough that his Mrs. Has,
Reegs: he's also got, shit
Pete: the word John tattooed on his
Cris: on his chest.
Pete: On his chest. And David is is Ice Cube
Cris: Yeah. Or she Jackson Jr.
Pete: I mean, this is the second time I've seen him, cause I saw him in straight Outta Compton. Yeah. And I can't believe how much he looks like his old man. Obviously it is his son, so that's why. But it's just an absolute like, you know, immediately when you see him that it's ice cube's son.
Yeah. But he's, he's put a bit of timber.
Reegs: Yeah. He's big lad in this. yeah, yeah,
Then we also meet single moms and Dre Didi 14 year old daughter. I don't know how old she was, but Too old for you anyway
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Reegs: And anyway, they're supposed to go and paint at the waterfall at the weekend or something, but mum's blowing it off so she can take Deedee up to Nashville to see her new boyfriend's band play.
And that's why Deedee and her mate Henry, decide to wearing a replica wrestling belt, by the way. I
Cris: Yes, I've seen that. That was pretty cool. He spent, what did he say, 9,000 allowances or
Reegs: something? something ridiculous on it.
Yeah. And they are gonna then skip school and head on out to the fools and Henry ripping on other way, all the way for attention seeking.
Pete: Yeah. And they've circled, they've got a map Yeah. Of the area. And they've circled secret fools.
Cris: And, and obviously as well, they conveniently forget that
Yes. They leave it for the mum to find. I think she per, she, they talk about she might want to be caught on purpose by the mum that is
attention seeking. But I do quite like the fact that they show the mum having a glass of wine at about 10 o'clock in the morning, which,
Cris: after her shift at the hospital because
was it? Oh, I thought it was better than that. All right. Okay.
Pete: Yeah. And it's not, it's not the, the hardest thing that gets consumed at that time of day
Pete: and, not by her.
Pete: Well, yeah, I think do we do then we go straight into the,
Reegs: well, next up we get Ranger Liz.
Cris: Yes. Lipstick and perfume. European.
Reegs: is European. Yeah.
Cris: smells European.
Reegs: Yeah. And there's also a local hoodlum vest he's called. And they're from the Duchamp gang, and he's kind of ripping the place off while she's not looking.
And but she's getting all doled up because
Pete: her gentleman friend is going to arrive. Yeah,
Reegs: Yeah. Which is Peter. He's an environmental activist. Type wildlife. Conservationist
Cris: Exactly the opposite of you.
Reegs: Yeah. He's got a magnificent hair in mustache combo.
Pete: Yeah. A great tasting in women.
Reegs: Yeah. He also says he says, you have a dusty beaver
pointing to her. She's like, I'm working on
Pete: cheap gags. Yeah.
Reegs: Anyway, in the genuinely only probably subversive moment of the movie, Deedee and Henry, the two 14 year olds or whatever, find the coke out in the bushes and they sort of recognize it from school and stuff.
And then Henry's like being badass. Oh yeah, I've done it after church with my mate.
Pete: doesn't normally look like
Reegs: doesn't normally look like that. And then so then they're like egging each other and golden each other. Who's gonna take some, how much do you take? Oh, you just about a tablespoon,
Pete: It's like, how'd you take it? We're like, you eat it
Reegs: Yeah. So
Didi does like line up a huge thing of Coke on this thing and then just takes it and then so does Henry, and they're both spitting and stuff and he's saying this isn't as good as the shit I
Cris: it. He does say at one point that his throat,
Pete: yeah, he's gonna, I mean they, they do immediately both gob it out because it's, it tastes disgusting, allegedly.
Reegs: And anyway, they find some packages, some that have been rep ripped open, and they sort of speculate as to what might have got into it.
Many lows, imagine a deer on cocaine, blah, blah, blah. And in the background we see the bear.
Reegs: And then it's right there and it sneezes a huge load of coke on them, doesn't Yeah. So anyway, basically, oh, how much detail do we want to go into with this stuff?
Everybody ends up in the
Pete: Well, there, there's, there's a couple of, there's a couple of scenes. There's a, there's a good scene in the, the toilets at the
Reegs: oh yeah.
Pete: In the, like, one of the cabins where like the, the gang come in and DaVita is in there, like taking a piss and they, they basically try and rob him.
Reegs: They bite off a bit more than they
Yeah. They, they've already, they've already found a bag, haven't they? They've got, they've got a bag with him and they've stashed another one. Yeah. And so, yeah, they, they try and take David on and he, he like throws them around the top using like urins
Reegs: and skateboard and Yeah.
Pete: To like knock them out and stuff.
Reegs: He beats the shit out of all three of them
Pete: gets, he gets stabbed, but then they, they take the, the one with the, with the dyed hair.
Pete: I mean, he doesn't know if his friends are dead or whatever. So he, they, they're left behind. Turns out that they end up dead like pretty soon thereafter.
Cuz when they go to the, to the ranger's office that, that like, that bit made me piss myself and like Ranger Liz, the bear comes to the Yeah. To the cabin and they're like, fuck, this
Reegs: she's already been attacked by this
Pete: She's already been attacked by the bear.
Reegs: is gone. Maybe we won't spoil that death for for, because it's an amazing one.
Cris: yeah. I mean, Jesus Christ, how good is that?
Reegs: Climbed up the trip. Yeah. Anyway. Are we not gonna, we gonna leave that
Cris: No, we can leave that. We can leave that out. It's, it's whenever you watch it keep an eye for, for Pete and his death, because it's amazing. Yeah. It's
Reegs: probably my favorite moment of the whole movie.
Pete: the end.
Well, I, I quite, I quite like the, when they open the door and she's got a gun. Yeah. Cuz she's told them about the bear and they're still robbing stuff out of the sh out of the, like the office when she comes back. And they, they open the door and obviously cuz she's, she's, she's not too elderly, but she's like pushing on a bit in years, I dunno how many times she's used this gun or whatever, but instead of shooting the bear, she managed to shoot one of the kids straight
Cris: in the head.
His fucking big hole just appears. And he, he hits the deck. His mates just start screaming Yeah. That he's, and she's, she's screaming as well.
Reegs: They'd already called an ambulance earlier because they'd had the shit kicked out of them by David. So, after all this carnage in there, the ambulance crew turn up. And this is again, another amazing sequence where it's done quite tensely because Ranger Liz is on the floor. She ha hasn't quite got her breath.
There's a stethoscope and she's trying to whisper a word to her. And then a terrific chase sequence set to Depeche mode's. What is it? Just can't
Pete: It just can't get enough.
Reegs: Again, more great jokes in there that it's probably best we won't spoil if you haven't seen it,
Pete: well, well, this, this show's normally for the spoilers, we don't, we don't have to go and then,
Reegs: know, but all the, the best things about these movies are a couple of minutes really, that are here and there.
Pete: No, abso absolutely true. Yeah. So, anyway, the, the, yeah, the, the no one makes it out the ambulance alive anyway. No. And so, and, and the, the, the other member of the gang, not the one who's gone off with David and Eddie. Yeah. But the, like the other one who's got bits of his mate's brain all over his face from, like, he, you just, they open a door and the bears got in there and, and basically like just torn him apart.
They just see his head on the floor and stuff. So that's pretty gruesome. Yeah.
Reegs: It is pretty gruesome.
Pete: So yeah, the mum
uhs is, it has she's realized that her daughter's bunked her school. Now she wants to find her. So she's, she's got on her bike and literally
Reegs: Yeah. Gone in
Pete: gone into the woods looking, sorry.
It's, it's all culminating
Reegs: joined up with, with Henry, but when Peter got savaged, she found Henry up a tree.
Yeah. And they've also found evidence that deedee was taken off. She's managed to leave like a trail behind her of clothes and paint and
Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
Reegs: and the bear, for some reason, has decided not to kill DEI and do something else with it?
Pete: Well, it's, it's, I think the, the,
Cris: generally the
thing is, yeah, sorry. The, generally the theme is that the, the bear chases whoever has the cocaine Yeah. Because they, whoever finds cocaine has cocaine and the bear wants it. Yeah. And then as soon as he gets it, he gets angry and he kills him.
Yeah. So, so that's kind of the, the, the story behind it. If, if
Reegs: the bear's motivations
Cris: is pretty much, because we, we have also the scene with the police officer on top of the gaze, gazebo, the, I dunno, whatever it's called, the
Reegs: but it's a type of pavilion.
Cris: type of pavilion. Yeah. Where, where the same he, he basically doesn't, he sniffs and he basically falls asleep or passes out on top of Gabe's dad.
Yeah. But as soon as he gets a whiff of Coke, he just straight gets up and Well,
Reegs: it's like spinach and Popeye to him,
Cris: Yeah. Gets really angry. So Deedee and the, the guy. The Icelandic guy, he's the mom and Henry found him in the forest. Yes. Just kind of laying there and just kind of
Pete: well, he's grieving his, his misses, who's had a leg
Cris: and he's not been attacked either because the same, he didn't have any
Reegs: Ah, Yeah.
Cris: So I think that's kind of the, the, if you, if you don't have cocaine, you'll be fine. You'll be all right. Yeah.
Reegs: Okay. So there is a kind of standoff in the middle of the forest with A stashed bag. A duffle bag, detective Bob on the roof, and David Eddie and stash. I think the guy's name is one of the gang members where the bear shows up.
Pete: Well, j just before that, the, the, the policeman and David like have a bit of a shootout.
Yeah. And he shoots, shoots his hand and manages to sh shoot off two fingers that aren't next to each other, which I think
Cris: with one bullet.
Pete: Yeah, it's that, that's, that's another funny, funny little Yeah. Snippet.
Reegs: And then the bear turns up and there's more bear cocaine shenanigans.
At one point Isaiah Whitlock Jr. Is like sprinkling it out and there's like Christmas music and the bear's like snorting and you see it rushing and doing weird stuff on its back and really getting
Pete: oh, it like pushing itself along with its feet on its back. Yeah.
Reegs: And then shit gets real cuz Ray OTA turns up, he's getting pressure from the Colombians because there's obviously tons and tons of coke
Pete: He's gotta recoup it all, otherwise him and his family are, are gonna die. And he kills the, the policeman. He does. We find out just before that, that the, the, the, the police woman who's been kind of like assisting him or whatever, she's been turned by the, by the drug guys before that.
Reegs: And she gets literally no comeuppance in the entire movie for no, there's no
Pete: no She doesn't even take look after the dog. I mean, she, she, she gives the dog to a drug Lord's son, so I guess she does her, her bit. But yeah, they the, the, the the Hi the hiker guy has said that there's a cave. Yeah. And that basically, like, they go towards that and like this is, it's now starting to get into nighttime.
So that's where he thinks that the bear is gone and that's where they think that that Didi probably is as well or where the, the bear chased her to, or took her to or whatever. Yeah. So they go into the cave.
Reegs: We do meet up with Didi and she's got some
Cocaine cubs. Cocaine cubs. Yeah.
They're getting, because the bear as, as any good mother bear would do is bringing back the coke for the, for the cubs as well.
Cris: And they look a lot poor bears.
Pete: They do, yeah. But the looking for a way out of the cave other than the, the entrance, they, they go further into it and they actually discover the,
Reegs: the secret
Pete: which is quite poetic.
So they look for that.
Reegs: And then there's kind of a big climactic moment with a duffle bag of cokes suspended on a rock bit out or tree bit like out over the falls. And it's the bears there and Sids there, and
Cris: well, the, the, they just kind of chase one after the other.
So, so the mom and and Henry go in, they find the didi and the. Find the, the way out on the other side. Then Sid and David and, and the policewoman and the son go in. Yeah. And they kind of approach it. Then the policewoman says, I've had enough. I'm not dealing with this. I'm going, yeah, David steps.
Because into the way, because Sid wants to shoot her. Yeah. He says no. And Andy's like, oh, you've all gone so soft. They go further into the, into the cave, go back on the side and they realized, okay, well this kid's here, there's a woman here and these cocaine cubs. What are we gonna do? Sid wants to kill everyone.
And the the other two guys oppose him. And they're like, okay, we've had enough. Yeah. The mom jumps with the kids.
Reegs: Basically everybody who abandons the coke just jumps into the water to survive.
Cris: David gets shots in the.
While Sid tries to shoot the
Pete: Bear's, right? Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Cris: he does shoot the bear. The Bear
Pete: he's been stabbed, had his fingers shot off, and now he's been shot in the neck as well. But luckily because she's a nurse and they've referenced that earlier, like s's on hand to,
Reegs: the kid even shouts it
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah,
Reegs: she's, it's okay. She's a knew that. Yeah.
Pete: I think they knew what they were doing there.
Reegs: Anyway, eventually Sid is basically strung up like a pinata and disempowered, and then the Cubs slurp his intestines, like their noodles.
Pete: Mm. Yeah.
Reegs: So there, there's this big spoiler for you right there.
So, yeah. And what do we do? I mean, we close it.
Eddie gets the dog,
Pete: which seems to make him immediately stop grieving for his, for his
Reba, the dirty cop, doesn't suffer any consequences for betraying Bob to his death.
Cris: No. She calls back up and then she says, get the dog out. I just called back up. You need to leave now.
Reegs: Then she lets Eddie and David completely off the hook. I dunno how I'm supposed to feel about that either. And then Eddie's going off to get his son and live his life or something. Yeah, some sort of emotional something. And sorry, and Didi, their relationship is repaired and she's going on to Nashville to see the boyfriend's band and then some post credit texts.
They never found the Coke. It's still in the forest.
Reegs: And then some video cam footage of some very
Pete: And one of the, one of the guys has stashed a, some coke somewhere so that he can the, the one, the the one who, who is the, the gang member? The, the, I've forgotten what they're called. You know what I mean?
Reegs: Yeah. The Duchamp gang.
Cris: Yeah. Then one of them, he has a duffle bag and he's hitchhiking to go to New York. Yeah. And then he can see a bit of, of animal fear when he puts the duffle bag in the back
Reegs: with a load of
Pete: yeah. He
Cris: sheep and he is like, oh, hold on a minute.
Yeah. Takes the duffle bag and puts it back in the, in the car. And also some more credits. Some more credits. And then there's this reta sun. Yeah. With the dog. And this time we are led to believe that the dog might have eaten a little bit of the cocaine
Reegs: yeah, the
Cris: the sofa and, oh, where is that bit that you had in your pocket?
Cris: So we're led to believe that that might have
Reegs: Oh, it was the fingers, wasn't it the,
Cris: Oh, was it the
Pete: Yeah, it was, it was the
Reegs: He ate David's fingers, I think.
So a bittersweet ending really. A lot of people have been brutally slaughtered, but. A sort of former Drug Empire's son may have like repaired a bit of the relationship with his son that he abandoned.
Pete: Yeah. Who knows? Yeah, who knows? I don't think that we were gonna take away a lot from this film, really. No, I think that, so this is the, I guess not specifically this subject matter, but I imagine that there's a lot of this type of film out there, this kind of like comedy horror type stuff, which normally I'd avoid because I like a comedy, I don't like a horror.
And just because there's some funny bits in it as well, like just, you know, people getting ripped to pieces and stuff like that generally isn't my bag. Having said that, because I had to watch this, especially as I chose it as well, I can imagine that there's plenty of things similar, there are plenty of similar type of things out there in terms of like pitch, let's say, as opposed to like, like I said, subject matter.
Reegs: this is not that far above a sort of sharknato type,
Pete: Right? Okay. So I've never seen any of that kind of stuff. So like you were saying, like B-movie, comedy, horror, parrano, all of these kind of things. I've never seen any of them. And if this was my, I guess, first foray into this kind of like specific subgenre or whatever, and, and I really enjoyed it like by taking it at face value, like not, it's not there to be taken seriously as a serious film with all the, you know, like the, everything gets tied up nicely at the end and, and people do get their comeuppance and the, you know, there are people there, there doesn't have to be consequences to certain actions and everything like that.
It's just really like stupid fun. I felt like the, again, a little bit like the, the midweek or the, a very different film I really enjoyed, I think the first kind of like hour of it, 45 minutes to an hour of it. And then the last kind of, you. Yeah, whatever it is. Hour, half, 45 minutes, whatever. I wasn't as much a fan of when the sort of comedy moments kind of slowed down and the, the, the, the tense, the more tense moments and the final showdown kind of thing came around it.
I was a little bit disengaged with that, but there were definitely, like, I thought brilliant kind of like laughs Some of the deaths were, were like hilarious, like totally like ridiculous and over the top. But I guess that's part of this, this type of genre where it's like, who can come up with like crazy ways for people to die?
And there's plenty of that on show. And, uh,
Reegs: and what ways can we get a bear to ingest cocaine?
Pete: Yeah, yeah. Because that was really the, I guess that just that urban legend just kind of like sparked this, this idea for a film that, that this person threw together. When I was watching it, I thought, oh, I think re's already like this.
But forgetting that you've probably seen this kind of film, 50, 60, a hundred times because this is the sort of like stuff that you will have gorged on in plenty in the past. So less importance is, is how I feel about it. How did you feel about it?
Reegs: Well, I thought this was sort of fairly entertaining. Some funny lines, some really good sequences, most of which we brushed over talking about cuz they really are the best bits in the movie. The ambulance sequence. What happens to Peter? I.
I think that this movie could have been better? Yes. I amma in my head, there's a version of Cocaine Bear that's a way better movie.
I think maybe the whole idea of it is, is like run into the ground after you've listened to the title, you go, oh, cocaine Bear, and you've got an idea of what the movie might be like and it's this or something, you know, sort of fairly forgettable bee movie. Yeah, I I, I hoped for more, I have to say.
Pete: Right? Yeah. Yeah.
Cris: oh, I kind of agree in a way I expected it to be a bit more until the kids start speaking and until they've eaten cocaine of a knife. And then I realized, okay, well this is what is gonna be from now on. And so I can't take this seriously because this is, this can't be serious.
And, and obviously the, the first time you see the, the, the couple, they get ripped off the, they get ripped apart. The, the bear comes and you, you think maybe, maybe this how it's gonna be or whatever. But then as soon as, again, as soon as the kids start doing that and or knife me and then is alright, okay.
They eat cocaine of a knife. I know what I'm getting myself into. Yeah. I, I kind of agree with you after an hour, Once to be fair, once they hit the one, they, once they get the cave, the only good scene is obviously the polar bears. That the, the, the cubs are covered in cocaine. Yeah. There's not really anything funny after that.
It, its, it kind of reaches the climax
Reegs: The noodle bit is pretty good. It, it keeps me, kept me going for that.
And the sort of Popeye style when the cocaine just like rains out over it and it wait, the sort of waits
Cris: Yes. But, but again, it's, I kind of agree could be more, but at the same time for the length of it and, and the, the whole idea behind it, you can't take that stuff seriously.
And if they wanted to make a serious movie, you're not gonna name it cocaine Better,
Reegs: I dunno if it had to be serious. So I just think it could have been better.
But the, it is the sort of thing that we could put on at the man cave now after everybody having seen it and you'd like had a few glass of wine or whatever and it would be really funny. Yeah, you would be laughing. It would be a funny night. So probably that kind of experience as well.
Pete: It's kind of, I, I can't imagine that I'm assuming that Ray, I dunno what he died of or how he died or if it was a long term illness or, or whatever, but I can't imagine that if he was at some point in his careers, oh, that's the one I want to go out on.
Cris: Hopefully he didn't die of any stomach or intestine problems.
Pete: yeah. True. Yeah. I mean, I don't think it's besmirched his, his like name in,
Reegs: He's pretty good in this,
Pete: in cinema. Yeah, it is. Yeah. Yeah, it is. But it's not exactly an absolute banger or anything. Yeah.
Cris: I did enjoy it though, and it was, I, I generally judge a movie if it's, if it's too long and if it's too, if it's over two hours and I have to keep watching it, it's, I lose interest.
I'll pick up my phone or whatever. I watched it, I knew I was gonna get fairly soon into the movie. I, I kind of enjoyed it. Am I gonna go next week and watch it again? Probably not. No. But as, as Rick said, if, if in a couple of months time we'd have a couple of glass of wine or rather the man cave and or whatever and the, do you know what it's on Netflix tonight or is there's whatever.
Oh, let's put that one on. It would be funny.
Pete: Why not? So all in all the strong recommend.
Reegs: With super potato thing in Romania. Is this something that you,
Cris: I have to say, if I would've seen that, I would've been all over that when I was a kid. I've, I've not seen that before, but if it would've been on tele, I don't know.
The year I, I didn't really do my research on this
Reegs: 1982 to 1986 was the
Cris: I mean, I, I was born in 85, so I, and 80, that was communism until 89. December 89. Really? 1990. Really? So,
Reegs: well, there was a revamp in 1989,
Cris: even if we would've got that. There was, by then there was so much cartoon that you couldn't just, and we didn't have a cartoon te like a network until Cartoon Network came and it was already just the, what they would put on for Cartoon Network everywhere.
Really? They didn't make a cartoon network for Romania. They just put in Romania, whatever they were showing on Cartoon
Pete: But this, this was Welsh. Yeah. Which I was, you know, today years old when I found that out. Mm-hmm. I had no real appreciation for that. And I think it was originally broadcast in, in Welsh language, which I think would be an interesting watch.
Reegs: And it is amazing that Sidey isn't here really, cuz he's quite racist against the Welsh as well. So it's good. Really,
Pete: Yeah. Well, hopefully he can put out some racist tweets or something to, to, to back this up.
Reegs: So the premise of Super Ted is that basically every week super Ted and his sort of effeminate husband, spotty save the world from super Ted's arch nemesis who is Texas Pete, an evil cowboy with an enormous chin.
And he is served by two henchman, a sort of strong but moronic manchild called bulk.
Reegs: And a gay skeleton called
Pete: He is called skeleton. I thought I always had like bones or bony or something like that in my
Cris: that's, that's a bit racist. You can't
Pete: Is it again, skeletons? Yeah. Okay. I, I'll retracted that then.
It, it's actually been confirmed by the, the creator of the series that the, that skeleton is gay.
Reegs: Yes, I saw that. Yeah.
Pete: Yeah. Bulk voiced by Roy Canne.
Reegs: Yeah. Stellar casting this cuz it was Derek Griffiths doing the voice of, of super Ted. And in fact, it, it starts with a very dramatic voiceover.
did really remember this. It's his origin story. Where he is during the production process, like a machine finds something wrong with him. Yeah. He's thrown away like a piece of rubbish. Says,
Cris: so doomsday,
Cris: commentary. And then he just gets bend. Pretty much.
Reegs: he does get bin.
But then for he's thrown into an old dark storeroom and then fortunately spotty. A spotty man.
Pete: Yeah. From ounce of space
Reegs: some magic dust at him or
Pete: it takes him up to Mother Nature, who gives him a
Reegs: Aion. Yeah. that
Pete: gives him secret powers. Yeah.
Reegs: It, after he says a magic word.
Pete: A magic word that you never hear.
Reegs: Yeah. And then when he, when he says this magic word, which is a bit like, was it Shazam has got a magic word, doesn't he? He's one of the heroes. He does that sort of thing. But anyway, when he says it, he rips off his skin.
Reegs: And he's got his superhero
Cris: He, he kind of opens up like a banana peel, just kind of peels off his skin.
And he's, he's fully dressed in a, in.
Pete: Well, a superhero outfit underneath and he then becomes superhead and can fly and stuff like that.
I dunno why he wouldn't just spend all his time like that.
Pete: because surely he, he is just as comfortable sort of sitting around the house in his super outfit. But yeah, I guess
Reegs: maybe it chaffs.
Pete: the, maybe it does chafe.
Reegs: Well maybe he's got like really tiny junk and he doesn't wanna be like, you know, because those superhero
outfits are not very forgiving.
Pete: he's still wearing, he's wearing the superhero outfit all the time under his skin anyway.
Pete: So he's, yeah,
Pete: it's very confusing. This so this episode was Mother Nature and I thought that we, I was bringing us in at season one, episode one, which apparently this wasn't. But that's YouTube's fault. And so we're
to, well we, we already know the characters. Yeah, because they, well the main characters cuz they've been introduced in, in the, the intro and there's no intro music to this.
Reegs: That big. The music comes at the end.
Pete: does indeed. Yeah. So we've got super Ted and spotty and they're on some kind of like safari or something.
Reegs: they're in Africa.
Pete: yeah. Yeah. And, and super Ted says you're gonna go and look at the animals through some sort of weird x-ray
thing? He's worried that they're getting too much sun.
Pete: Oh well the animals are getting too much sun. Yeah. Yeah. Cause
Reegs: Up in the vastness of space in the cloud, mother nature is kind of, she's got this machine that does, like, she pulls levers and it all
Pete: creates sunshine. I'll give them some sunshine, I'll give them a bit of rain and some wind and stuff like that.
Texas Peak shows up suddenly
in a spaceship for some reason. And he wants to get a potion from mother
Pete: Well, I could understand that cuz if you are like super Ted's nemesis and you've watched Super Ted and you know what his backstory is? That he was given a potion by Mother Nature and now he's got superpowers.
Surely to level the playing field, you're gonna want to try and, and get in on the magic potion.
Reegs: I was wondering where a cowboy gets a spaceship from, but I don't, that was really my main
Reegs: That, but I
Cris: Well, in today's Texas it would be probably the place to get it.
Reegs: Good point.
Cris: but obviously this is 19 82,
Pete: this is, this is it. I think you'll have to go back and watch all of the proceeding episodes.
Cris: oil though.
so so at least they had oil in Texas even back then. Yeah,
Pete: Yeah. No. And you're, you're not at all phased by his, one of his mates is a skeleton, a gay skeleton.
Reegs: Well, I don't care that he's gay, Pete. I mean
Pete: Well, that's what you were kind of suggesting. No, I mean, the fact that you, you're more worried about the, the believability of him having a spaceship than a a gay skeleton friend.
Reegs: Yeah. Whereas it's several implausible
You're right. You are right. They get, anyway, they do get into the cloud and bulk falls against a machine or whatever, plunges the world into chaos.
Turns zebras from stripe to spotty and turns spotty
Pete: I know. And he's really put out by that. You
Reegs: You would be,
Pete: I suppose, I suppose. Or are we being spot spots on stripes racist now? Yeah. Yeah. Jesus. Spot stripy. People have feelings too.
Reegs: So super Ted says his magic word rips off his skin to fly up there, but it's too windy for him cuz Texas Peters pressed some of the buttons on the thing.
And then they go to go up in spot, he's rocket and he sends lightning down and a tree falls on them or whatever. His power levels fluctuate dramatically as what I would say about super Ted. Yeah. He's not as strong as Superman.
Pete: No, he's not. No, no. Yeah. If you are, if you can be sort of grounded by a bit of wind, then you're not the the, the toughest of superheroes.
One bit I, that sort of struck me as odd again, like wasn't particularly plausible was when they, they sent like a hail of like comets Yeah. Towards them. Yeah. And the comets are coming towards them and I'm thinking, oh, ge, you're in a spaceship. Just fly around it. Just go off on a different trajectory.
Yeah. And surely you can go above beyond the round.
Reegs: They're not heat-seeking.
Pete: No, they're not heat-seeking comments as far as I'm aware. I don't think Mother Nature has, has, has made them that way. But anyway, they seem to, they manage to evade them, but they do kind of like crash land in crash crash through mother Nature's base up through the floor and then.
You basically get Mother Nature has, has made the potion. Yeah. What's it, because Super Ted is, is a hero and, and is, is good at heart. There's a bit where they, they have individual fights. I think Mother Nature's fighting. Bulk or whatever. It's, I was skeleton. Yeah. Spotty is fighting bulk, is that his name and Tex, Texas.
Pete is fighting super Ted and they're all getting that, all the goodies are getting there. Come up and so, or get in the upper hand Texas Pete basically like please with him not to, not to sit with super Ted, not to hurt him. And he is Oh, okay. Right. And turns his back like a bit of a dope. But he was only mucking about Texas.
P he's, he's gonna like double cross him. And
plunges the world into like, cataclysmic events of like hurricanes and
Pete: earth cakes.
Reegs: Literally millions of
Yeah. I've got, it's cuz you brought some cake along rigs. I've got that on the mind.
Reegs: Millions of dark, millions must have
Pete: done that at the hand of Texas.
Pete, the, the space riding cowboy.
Reegs: Yeah. And then he. He holds every, he like stood in front of the machine, I don't really understand. Stood in front of the machine and you have to gimme the potion now, otherwise I'll keep it all going.
Yeah. So you give him the potion. She's only gone and giving him a silly potion that makes him burp
Pete: gives him the hiccups and he's like breathing fire when he is hiccuping. Yeah. Even makes a spaceship hiccup.
Reegs: Yeah. And that instantly resolves the plot. Yeah. Like literally
in a second. it just sort that's it now and they're tying him off and taking him back home.
Pete: and it's all fine.
Reegs: Then it is the outro music, which is one,
Pete: it's a banger
Reegs: tune again.
Pete: Yeah. It's got like a and yeah. Side's. Can you hear it? Side is gonna play it right now.
Reegs: That was
Pete: crazy. It is. It's it's pretty epic. It's got like a
Reegs: sort of sexy vibe to it, I think. Yeah. Sexier than a superhero. Teddy really normally is.
Pete: Yeah, it is my favorite part of reminiscing about these kind of like eighties cartoons, British, normally British cartoons.
The, the, the, the intros or indeed the outros are are fairly strong. Do, do you have any strong feelings about the outro music, Chris?
Cris: Not really. No. I've
Cris: Yeah. It's, it's good. But I,
Cris: just, I dunno,
Reegs: without nostalgia behind it, it's probably an utterly baffling experience. I would say this for you, Chris, was it?
Cris: Yeah. Yeah. I have to say, I, I wasn't really, but I, as I said earlier, if I would've seen that growing up, it would've been one of my favorite superheroes.
Reegs: I do remember enjoying
Pete: did. Yeah. Yeah.
Cris: As, because it's harmless, it's silly. He's a, again, he's a superhero that wears a pajama or a costume underneath his skin, so you can't go wrong with that spot.
Pete: and super Ted are fucking right.
Reegs: I was gonna say, everybody gives off a kind of married energy. Yeah. All of the relationships. Yeah. There's like a, a polyamorous relationship I think between bulk and skeleton and Texas.
Pete: Absolutely. Yeah.
Reegs: super tenant spotty
Pete: a lot of time in space.
There's not a lot to do.
Reegs: a, they, they've got a,
sort of like worried, like bickering between them and stuff. Like it's Yeah.
Pete: So they've got that. So there is, there is some sort of like deeper
Cris: Yeah. The Welsh, they, they've done it
Reegs: yeah. going
Pete: on in this. It's bizarre that this has come out of whale. So like that's still baffled me. But despite that, it's a strong recommend.
Reegs: Very strong
Cris: If you haven't watched it, go and watch it.
YouTube season one, episode one. Even if you don't watch Modern Nature, it's still good.
Reegs: And if you're hosting a podcast like this and you have to watch those sort of things, mercifully short.
Cris: Yeah. Yeah.
and a half
Pete: That's, that's another, another box ticked.
Okay. So that's another episode wrapped up. I think it was a successful one. I think it's all agreed that we were worried without Saudi here, but
Reegs: I'm still worried as to whether we've recorded anything,
Pete: Yeah, yeah. That would be, so everything I'm saying right now may never, ever reach. Um,
Reegs: would say we, much like this week's film ever achieved the bare minimum.
Pete: Oh, even got a pun for the outro. But yeah, we we, we smashed it and feeling very pleased with ourselves right now. In spite of all the, the mistakes that we may have made. I don't think there's anything lined up for next week. Is there just yet? No.
Pete: Okay. It's very amateurish, so all that remains is to save.
Peter. Signing out.
Reegs: Res out.
Cris: Chris out. Rainbow love.