June 29, 2022

Listener Suggestion... Super Mario Bros.

Listener Suggestion... Super Mario Bros.

Of course, it seems obvious now to reimagine the iconic video game characters for 1993's SUPER MARIO BROS. movie as being captives in an alternate dimension steampunk police state where people evolved from dinosaurs, which has been infected by a sentient testicle fungus and opponents of the fascist regime are de-evolved into barely conscious lumbering abominations but it took the largely untried husband and wife team Rocky Morton and Annabel Jankel, writers for MAX HEADROOM, to bring this creative vision to the cinema screen. 
Incredibly, this "gritty and adult" version of the beloved platforming franchise was exactly what Nintendo and the production company Lightmotive envisaged, though whether the dreadful pacing, incoherent plot, awful score (wtf Alan Silvestri) and staggeringly painful unfunniness was by design is another question. Still, it has inspired a following of devoted fans and as someone who is possibly more generous than most to movies, I can see glimpses of things people might enjoy about this; the chaotic sets, the weird costumes, the odd dialogue and all-round bizarreness but make no mistake, this is a terrible, terrible movie. Thanks for making us watch it Breachy! 


Super Mario Brothers

Sidey: Today we're gonna continue with our listener generated content. Yeah, because we've got

Dan: the, the, the, the,

sorry, couldn't resist.

Sidey: They played that in. What did we watched last week? The history of Fu no, the history of future folk. He played it

Dan: Oh, yes, she did. On the

Sidey: Yeah, Brey nominated super Mario brothers because she said that it was unfairly maligned on release. So we'll, we'll see what we think about that. Yeah. But

thought she

did say that?

Yeah. Yeah. It's documented on Twitter and I think there'd been several other things that. Tried to encourage us to watch and we never did. So this is the first, so

Dan: what else



Sidey: uh But don't feel, I dunno, probably almost certainly be Adam son themed, which you did watch something about this thing I did.

Yeah. But don't feel that you have to like it just because BCI. So,

Dan: no, fair enough. I I'll give it my own view as ever.

Sidey: And this abs this super Mario brothers, 1993. Absolutely. I think we can say from the get go much maligned.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: I stopped doing metrics age and age ago, but we can talk about those.

From the start.

Reegs: Yeah. Why not? Yeah.

Sidey: 4.1 on IMDB, 29 things on rotten tomatoes, 35 on meta cricket and 57 on Google, which is low for Google.

Reegs: yeah.

Sidey: So yeah. So yeah, didn't get a great

Dan: And what was this? 93. 93. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah,

Reegs: but also it, it has spawned a Legion of vociferous fans as well. There's a super Mario brothers Wiki page for the movie that is extensive. Yeah.

Dan: so it's developed this cult following then, is it in, in some ways?

Reegs: Yeah, absolutely.

Dan: Since then, I must admit, I watched probably


around the time it came out,

Sidey: night.

Dan: you know, maybe 94, 95. Kind of time. And

Sidey: this was my first time. And I'm a big fan. I was gonna say was a big fan, but I still am a big fan of the game.

So I bought a switch just to play Mario odysey full

Dan: all time. Great. Isn't

Sidey: it. And I did know about it potentially not being a great movie. So I avoided it at the time purposefully. I was like, it sounds rubbish. Well, I'm not gonna do that. And there was, I think also around time, an animated thing, kids thing, which Ock as well.

So I'd stuck just to the video

Dan: Yeah. Oh, the video game. I mean, You can drink and drive and play Mario car. Can't you, you know, it's the one time you can do it. And it's great fun. Oh, it's one of the all time great games. So you expect with that kind of level of game

Sidey: strong IP

Dan: It is gonna be a really strong film and it's did, how

Sidey: time.

Reegs: Well, it starts off with the iconic eight bit music over the credits, and then it sort of pixely cartoon image of what looks like a forest narrated by a heavily. Brooklyn accented voice, which was Dan, Dan Castel. Linetta

Sidey: Ho Simpson.

Reegs: yes. Time. Yeah. And he's explaining a long time ago, the earth was ruled by dinosaurs.

And we're told, we're looking at Brooklyn, but 65 million years ago.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: a giant meteor or strike but some dinosaurs survived on the ground and created a weird steampunk society.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Anyway. Yeah. Then we see with it's 20 years ago and a woman is running in the rain and she places a mysterious key in a lock on a baby's carriage and then bangs on a door at a nary and runs away and leaves.

Dan: this kind of stone egg

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Which which hatches, which hatches

Sidey: as a.

Dan: There we go. Yeah. And, and then we kind of cut to Mario and

Reegs: off into the sewers pipes there. Right. And and then Dennis Hopper appears and laughs and then she disappears.

Dan: That's right. Yes. Yeah. And then it cuts into the apartment with Dennis not Dennis

Reegs: Bob Hoskins Hoskins.

Sidey: Yeah. John Zamo.

Reegs: so you've got, yeah, I mean, not to point out the, obviously if you've got a brick playing a Brooklyn, Italian, and a cute, a Colombian

in John Leguizamo playing,

Dan: Zamo. Yeah, it was, it was a weird choice.

Reegs: Italians, but they've got Chris Pratt in the next one.

So I dunno. Has he got any?

Dan: oh really? I dunno. I didn't even know there was another one.

Sidey: Yeah. So they're, they're kind of struggling plumbing business. They've not got a lot of work scratching around

Reegs: leg was Armos playing with one of those. You know, they're like, it's like a thousand pins and you push your face into it and it makes an impression like a real nineties toy.

Sidey: They seem like pretty happy with their lot, even though they're struggling, they get a call for. Some minor sort of works that need doing. And so we get to see them in their, their van, which is kind of, it's

Reegs: sort of works that they doing, you get to see them in their dead band, which is, well, it's one of several sort of plumbing related problems that are solved. But I mean, they are plumbers. I shouldn't fucking, I'm not taking the piss too much, but it is amazing how much plumbing does solve a number of issues in this movie.


Dan: they, they, Mario doesn't go anywhere without his toolkit. He's he's got it a

Sidey: hand,

like a holster. Yeah. Thing.

Dan: Classic

Reegs: Lui's driving. And he he's driving like an absolute prick and the score is horrible. It's this like jaunty sub Elman stuff, but it's by Alan Veri. And it tells me that everything is playful and I should be laughing, but I'm dying inside watching it

Sidey: at the moment. So,

Reegs: so,

Sidey: and then we have a cut to across the city where there's a dig going on.

A university has got permission to, with sort of.

Some development going on whilst they dig up some fossils, dinosaur bones. And so you get the local mob not quite Sopranos. Yeah. Trying to let on thick about listen, skier,

Reegs: skier,

Sidey: Yeah. You better, you better fuck off. Or, you know, you might be in danger type of threats, you know?



Reegs: it's pretty fucked up because there's in the background. There's been this story about a growing list of women

who've been abducted and he kind of threatens her as to

Sidey: explicitly threatens her.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Anyway,

Sidey: I suppose that's how they operate and

Dan: yeah, and she didn't back down, but she kind of pretended she did. She said, oh, I I'll get to her phone. And that's where she meets Lui. Because he gives her the phone he's instantly in love with her. As soon as he sees her. He's like, he's. Even, you can hear him on the phone saying, yeah, we got all the work, send all the plumbers, send all the plumbers and he's just been sent there

Sidey: the Van's broken down, isn't it.

And Mario, Mario's trying to fix it. And he says, check the messages and yeah. While, while he's pass and like, you know, struck by her, there's a message saying, we need you, we

Dan: we need plumbers. All we need is plumbers send more plumbers than you've ever seen before. And he just puts the phone down, gives her the money and the phone and says, oh, you know, take it and helps her.

And that's how that kind. Situation starts Mario steps in because he can't even find his words. He's a lot like myself, sometimes Luigi he's he's actually, you say he, he drove like a prick, but you'll find about Lugia a lot of the way through this. He's more sensitive side and he's the one he goes, you just gotta feel it.

You know, he just say you got,

Sidey: whereas big time Del boy and Rodney vibes from their

Dan: relationship.

It was yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: yeah. But she, she decides to get into the van with these two guys. Yeah. But she's, I mean, across the street, she's being pursued by Richard Eldon and Stevens as spike and towed and they iconically walk into some glass and shit. Yeah. And but I guess she decides it's the lesser of two evils to go off with two other men that she doesn't know whilst all these women are being abducted dinner.

Don't you looking bad? Yeah. Yeah. Mario

Dan: won him won or over with his charms and kind of what my brother meant to say is if you would like a lift, we can, we

Reegs: well, they end up going on a double date.


Which is you know, I actually think that's quite a good idea for,

Sidey: Yeah

Reegs: date. So good dating tips from this

Dan: Yeah.

Excellent that's what we need him.

Reegs: And she touches the crystal. Doesn't she? His Hoskin misses. Yeah.

Dan: Billy crystal

Reegs: yeah. She has a little finger of Daisy's crystal. Yeah. And she recoils and she says, oh, it's the, you know, the only remnants of her mother that she has.

Dan: Oh,

that's right. They've they find out their what they have in common, Luigi and Daisy is that they both didn't know their parents.

Reegs: Well, and he says that Hoskins has been his mother, his whole life. Yeah. And then later explains that his mother, father, and brother.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: I think he's been metaphorical isn't he?

Sidey: so at this point, I think it's good to point out that you are in a city, you know, this is the origin

Reegs: it's Manhattan, isn't it?


Sidey: Yeah. It's well, Brooklyn.


it's, it's fine. At this point, it looks appropriate to me and. If I hadn't heard anything in the past, I'm waiting for the bit where it starts to look like a Mario

Dan: Yeah. Well, I, I was a

Sidey: I'm okay at

Reegs: It's in the real world. Yeah. Okay. Fine. That's

Dan: yeah. I mean, I'd forgotten all about this movie and I was kind of expecting the same. I was expecting a lot more sound effects, actually just a

Sidey: they're in dead plain overalls. They're not like red or

Dan: No no they haven't gone into character.

Sidey: No.

Dan: And then. Kind of eventually as they chase Daisy who gets kidnapped after the

Sidey: well, she goes to, she shows Luigi the dig site.

She's like, oh, cause he says, oh, I'm fascinated by what you do. It's amazing. It's really, really cool. She's like, well, let me, let me show you my whole. So they

Reegs: And in her whole, is this like strange monstrous, new human hi dinosaur hybrid thing.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Well, and then the skier PE Stooges show up and it's with a water and they smash a water pipe. So exactly a plumbing related incident that they can solve.

Sidey: Which Luigi ISN.

Dan: he goes, I know what to do.

Yeah. And he runs off and gets Mario cuz he is just the apprentice, isn't he?

Reegs: Yeah. But that is still helping to solve the problem. In my opinion, I think that's okay.

Dan: it was quick thinking

Sidey: Of course, this is all pre mobile phone and that's why I struck by, I was like, I can't just get his phone out. And phone has to go to either a public call, you know, public call walks or go to gaff. How inconvenient. Yeah. Yeah. Haven't we moved on.

Reegs: they do anything? I know mad

Sidey: Mario comes along and fixes it.

The end.

Dan: while they, while they do that though, and fix it, they both get hit over the head.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Well, but you do get some good scenes of actual plumbing. And he calls out the,

Dan: the different

Sidey: the one eighth wrench and he's doing all the stuff and you see him do

Reegs: into our movie that we watched this week as well. Logan and lucky is

Sidey: well. Yeah, he does. Yeah. Good, good wrench content

Reegs: Yeah. Excellent wrench content. top five wrenches.

Sidey: so, yeah, so they does stop the leak and everything appears hunky Dory.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Apart from the kidnapping

Reegs: Well, yeah, in the minute there they get smashed on their. Daisy gets abducted. And when they come to, they can hear her like through the pipes and then suddenly they're Splunking yeah.

And then Daisy's face materializes out of some

Sidey: It definitely takes a turn really quickly.

Reegs: Nowhere

Dan: It's quite clever. Can Mario goes no, no, I know these, these pipes don't, that's where the echoes yeah. Kind of appears to be coming from, but. She's this way. And they go down this little

Sidey: like an unnecessary

Dan: yeah, go into the, into the he just he's the boss. Isn't he? He's the boss, man.

He knows. He

Sidey: knows. He knows his echoes yeah.


Dan: that everything's gonna be okay. It did for me. And then they go into this parallel kind of world,

Sidey: well it's Luigi, who has the the confidence or the bravado to leap through some wall.

Dan: it reminded me a little cabin in the woods.

Sidey: Okay. I didn't, I didn't pick up on

Dan: that. You know, where you go

Sidey: into, I was more,

Reegs: me it was more like Dr. Strange. I

Sidey: I was just struck by the incredible visuals.

Reegs: Yeah. He's falling through the dimension.

Sidey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've

Reegs: got, and it was like totally Dr. Strange, like in the, the backgrounds and all that, that actually was

Dan: is that the new doctor? Strange?

Reegs: well, or the old one.

Dan: Oh, right. Are they both the same? Have you seen

Sidey: that? Well, it's worth watching for nothing, but I went cinema. I was disappointed.

So yeah, they then materialize in some sort of, kind of subterranean Brooklyn with a lot more neon mm-hmm but still recognizably kind of.

Dan: Brooklyn. Yeah, yeah,

Reegs: Cooper square. It is. Yeah. But you know, it's kind of, it's got a kind of steam punk

Dan: It

Sidey: it does. mm-hmm

Reegs: And you know, it's rough.

Dan: only kind of city you see the map at one stage, it's just desert all around and it's just this one kind of Cooper, Brooklyn town.

Reegs: And it's kind of rough there's tattoo parlors, which is, I think the universal movie sign for place is a bit

Sidey: rough. They've got bad haircuts as well.

Reegs: Yeah. And it's overseen by giant flashing vote Cooper.


Sidey: yeah.

Reegs: very, very reminiscent of America

Sidey: Yeah. I, I don't know who the other candidates were, cuz they didn't seem to be any

Dan: no,

Reegs: no

Sidey: of the above.

Reegs: So Daisy's, bustled off in a taxi by the goons, fishes Stevens and spike and toad. I think they are, those are actual towed for instance, is the,

Sidey: the mushroom guys Yeah

Reegs: So, but

Sidey: he's a good guy.

Reegs: yeah.

Dan: Yeah. It goes,

Sidey: so not sticking to cannon in this.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: No, not especially. No. And we get some little flashes of what Dino place is like, don't we see some little dinos eating, there's this disgusting fungus everywhere. Yeah. And there's a woman pushing an egg in a pram, which is, I mentioned in that in our top five movie eggs, and Luigi says I've got a feeling we're not in Brooklyn anymore.

Sidey: He's right. Kind of, kind of.

Dan: kind of. Yeah, because it, it is like Cooper town now. And uh As they were wandering around trying to get their bearings and everything.

They're, they're realizing that, you know, this is probably where she's gonna have ended up and they, they unravel the story that Cooper's got the princess because of this rock. I don't think they get the, the rock bit quite as. Quick.

Reegs: Well when we get Cooper, it, it actually goes to Cooper next it's Dennis Hopper. What did you think of his sort of wardrobe choice in this?

Dan: Oh boy, it was okay. I, I liked his hair actually. I thought they'd done that quite well. Villa

Sidey: hair was, you know, it was definite villain haircut, but.

We met. We, someone I think gave us some shit on Twitter about saying he chewed it up in Waterworld. Well, what did you make of his

Dan: he's he's in it.

He's in it again.

Isn't it? He's he's, he's he's neck deep in it and


Reegs: we see some really weird shit later, actually. Yeah. Well, he's, he's talking about, he knows about the universe on the other side of the rock, he knows about our world.

And he wants to grab the natural resources from the other place to consume them.

Sidey: Well, that's his villainous master plan. Is it to merge the two worlds?

Dan: And then, and

Reegs: then he's introduced, dipping his hands in wax. Isn't he?

Sidey: Was that ever explained?

Reegs: No. Well, he was a, is it her metho where he of,

Sidey: oh, gem. Yeah. Right. Okay.

he didn't have a mask

Reegs: MOS he later somebody tries to touch him and he pushes him away and, and he sprays some shit on him and

Sidey: Yeah. It was a strange intro. Would' like to see more of

Reegs: that. Well, the whole movie's strange and there's so much fucking plot. Yeah. I wrote a few times in my notes. Like, God, there's so much to keep track of. Because there's loads of exposition. I I'm only like four pages out of 15 into my notes.

Dan: right? Yeah, no, there was, there was lots going on and visually it was very busy as well. Wasn't it all, all the,

Sidey: the director team were husband and wife. Right. But apparently not necessarily quite the team that you might imagine.

Reegs: they were a writers for max headroom.

Sidey: Oh, okay.

Reegs: And that's what, you know, I mean, yeah, we've just decided to abandon the film cuz it's so uninteresting, but cause

Sidey: no, we can get back onto it because there's quite a few things to talk about,

Reegs: but all this stuff is

Sidey: interesting, but they weren't necessarily on the same page in terms of like, you know, getting a coherent style or

Dan: having who, the fun you, they

Reegs: well, they were just completely out of their depth and completely out of control. And you know, Hoskins was drunk half the time onset

Sidey: I did read that Zamo John Zama said that they knew it was terrible and they fucking hated being there. And the only way they could get through it was just by being drunk.

Reegs: Yeah. It is terrible, terrible. Oh,

Sidey: it's not very professional. You have to say

Reegs: it's really bad this where are we in the goddamn plot?

Sidey: well, we've talking about the plot in, in terms of Dennis Hopper. Cooper wants to merge the two worlds together, but also at the same time he has this kind of de devolution type Ray gun thing.

Reegs: This is horrific, which

Sidey: is pretty grim. And it turns out that Daisy's old man, who was the king or the, the ruler of the kingdom.

Reegs: wait, hang on. Sorry. I did want, before we go too far, I did wanna talk about the devolving machine because I, it can very specifically take you back to the OUS period, which spans something like 80 million years.

Yeah. So you just pointed at someone and you're gonna be happen. Yeah.

Sidey: you know, the, the actual guns that they have to the, the devolve guns. Yeah. They were the actual Nintendo.

Reegs: I spotted that. I had that. I had that

Sidey: They just painted

Reegs: they turned them into these fucking abomination. They they're supposed to be the Gumbar that you jump on, I guess, but they're just these like terrible grotesque bumbling idiots with tiny drunken heads.

Sidey: Yeah. You know, when you see it's often like in a Scooby do or just other like par parading that where it's two kids on their shoulders with a coat

Reegs: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sidey: like that with a tiny little head poking out. And that's where I'm like, okay, this is like completely like devoid of any resemblance to the video game.

Yeah Like we, I can tell from Like specifically those characters that were not

Dan: There was very,

Sidey: any attempt to look

Dan: There was very little, you had Mar you had the pipes. I mean, it's like an origin story.

Sidey: but they don't even wear the costume till 66

Dan: No, no,

Reegs: was it as long as that. Wow. And when they go to a party, when they go to this baffling thing where there's a completely crazy bit in a club where they're dancing and there's this like black sort of dominatrix

Sidey: Yeah She keeps cropping up. Yeah.

Reegs: They have a very brief love affair over the course of a, a

Dan: really strange

Reegs: it's really weird.

Sidey: Well, first of all, she

Dan: got the rock.

Sidey: just turns up and beats him up and takes the rock. And then, so they have to retrieve it from her. But yeah, it's like this

Dan: But they, they do that like an hour later, they don't chase her immediately.

Sidey: very strange. That's another part where you just thought, well, they didn't know what they, what they were doing with this, you

Reegs: Well, but

Sidey: since you're making up on the fly,

Reegs: I mean, the CRA yeah, but the crazy, crazy thing is this whole idea of reimagining it as this sort of adult steam, punk, like really different origin story that everybody said it was a good idea. It was Nintendo's idea. You know, imagine if they did that with the Chris Pratt one, now everybody would lose their shit.

Cuz fan boys just would not tolerate this,

Sidey: That Nintendo just thought that the, the Mario IP was strong enough that, that, that people could do whatever they want to it.

And it would be fine.

Yeah. I don't think it turned out that way.

Dan: I watched this with my daughter and thought, we'll see, you know, we'll see what

Sidey: she into it.

Dan: she, she, she was into it.

Reegs: Was she? Yeah. Wow.

Dan: was into it. She, she even said, I know she even said to me, one stage, they should do more like this. Yeah. So it

Sidey: looked like at the end, they skipped to the very end.

It looked like it was setting up for a


Reegs: she comes outta

Dan: It AB

Reegs: at the end. Yeah,

Dan: Yeah, it absolutely

Reegs: But we need to talk about, we do need to talk about her father who is, who is a kind of, well, first, very vaginal sort of fungal opening,

Yeah And then descends a single bollock. Yeah.

Dan: a really strange kind of thing

Sidey: Yeah. And then descends strange a single solid testicle. Yes. Really strange. Right. When I watch

Reegs: the, and then turns

Sidey: doesn't work right. For me, it doesn't work on the screen. And then I straight away think to everyone there acting going, what the fuck are we doing here? Like, what is going on? This is my career.

What the fuck?

Reegs: And then it turns into Lance Hendrickson, right at the end. He's hi, I'm Lance Henrickson and amazingly he met his wife

Sidey: Oh on the set of this,

Reegs: the set of that.

Yeah. And he is like, he was there for about a minute and a half. Hi, I'm Lance Henrickson

Dan: let's get married.

Reegs: God. What, what bits are there to talk about? The

Sidey: they make they dancing in the lifts. Exactly. I said they make the ERs dance for some reason in the, in the elevator.

Dan: get him all shaken and swaying don't they?

Reegs: But the existential horror of, because you see people being basically he presses the people and anybody who like rises up against him gets turned into

Dan: and, and you there's some, some scary bits when they put their heads up into the thing.

I'm thinking, watching this with, with my daughter again, you know just 10. And there was a few surprises cuz there wasn't a lot of jump scares or anything like that, but it was when the F the, what is it, the devolution gun or, or whatever went on, there was some, it threw up some sort.

Reegs: well they and

Dan: and lizard kind of

Reegs: on hopper

Dan: teeth and on, on different characters throughout the film.

Whenever that came up, that was the, the one moment I would go,

Sidey: One of the Guba had a mouth organ. Like Bob Dylan

Dan: he started with it. Didn't he? He was the guy that got caught with them at the beginning. When they got thrown into the cop car right at the

Sidey: beginning. Yeah. I think it was just some way to differentiate

Dan: He, he was wasn't he a toed. He had that haircut or something. He was just playing music all the time and he goes, shh, you gotta be quiet. Remember he was, and he got arrested with them. And then

Sidey: Gober

Dan: he, was that kind of

Reegs: Yeah, he was the one and the other two Richard Delson who's much better than this. And Phish is Stevens. Who's

Dan: also,

Reegs: than this. They get

Sidey: involved. Everyone, everyone in this is better than this.

Reegs: Yeah, they get evolved. Don't they,

Sidey: they become clever,


Reegs: clever, but they're still douches. And then there's just.

In an instant, they go from being on one side to being on the other side, like with literally no explanation. It was just like, oh, we were playing all along. And even though up until moments before they were still like double crossing, it makes no sense. And then Daisy's talking to a slimy Bullock father and,

Sidey: well Cooper stands up as well. He's there

Reegs: so

Sidey: Cooper has a girlfriend who

Reegs: Fiona shore. I like Fiona

Sidey: does stuff. And she gets the rock and puts it in the other rock and gets turned into a fossil and her hair even gets fossilized.

Yeah. So that happens.

Reegs: Yeah. And then Cooper has been like briefly devolved into like very briefly.

And then he starts devolving over the movie. Doesn't he? And he like first he gets cornrows. Yeah. That's how, you know, and then he, like,

Sidey: well, he

Reegs: the end he becomes a full dinosaur doesn't he? Yeah. In a, in a they're hanging over.

Sidey: Well, they must have like that prop like like big barrel thing. That's just suspended in the middle of the 10 cuz they use that quite a lot.

Reegs: Yeah. Well they didn't shoot the climax of the movie that they had written. I mean, and there's still about 40 minutes that they edited out of this. Thank God.

Dan: There.

Yeah. Right.

Sidey: Because you know, in,

Dan: was a few jumps,

Sidey: in, well, speaking of jumps, cause in Mario the game, a lot of the ways that you would. Defeat enemies would be jumping on them. Yeah. So they, in the movie, they have these like jump boot things. Yeah. Fucking look terrible. Not like visually, but the way they use it, they just so slowly jump, you know, where they're obviously on wires and they're getting dragged across the set.

I mean, it's all practical, but

Reegs: I heard that Hoskins was hired for his legendary leaping skills.

well, but we didn't get to see them in action really. So

Sidey: so that all happens. And then they do briefly merge the world's and Capelli gets devolved into a Chimp, which is very hilarious. But someone pulls the plug on that

Dan: all, that's all filmed live. As they they've returned. Well, they've returned the girls, haven't they? So there's a film crew. Yeah. Oh yeah.

Sidey: Oh yeah.

On the

Reegs: Huge

Sidey: crew

Dan: down there and that's filmed live as him getting turned and super Mario brothers are born then.

Reegs: mm-hmm

Dan: And as you said

Sidey: well, Loja gets on the tools finally and he like drills it out. Of this globe thing that we've never really been explained what that

Reegs: The meteor, isn't it.

Sidey: that, is that what it was? That's the meteor fragment. Okay. Yes. Was hard to follow

Reegs: Oh, there was a lot of plot.

Sidey: it was a lot of pop. A lot, lot of stuff happens and they kind of, you know, they become super and there is a bit where he. Because again in the computer game, he's the mushroom is what makes him

Dan: yeah, I think he's gonna eat it at one point.

Sidey: just uses it to deflect something. Doesn't he?

Dan: And

Reegs: Oh, it bounces him a few times when he falls and it tries to pass him

Sidey: Cause Lu just says, trust the fungus.

Dan: I was, I was expecting him to, to go big at one stage or, you know, that

Reegs: imagine if we'd have seen Hoskins with a raccoon hat

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: a fuck little tail.

Sidey: tail. Yeah,

Reegs: the fucking Mario movie. I wanted to playing a little pipe and and

Dan: but, and he's got ender level monsters and stuff.

Reegs: Yeah. Or breathing underwater

Sidey: I'm trying

Reegs: reason, this is shooting fireballs, but

Sidey: but this is. Three. So I'm trying to think what games would've been out. Probably snow

Dan: Shenoy

Sidey: three, but not marry a world.

Reegs: Shinobi

Dan: that've

Sidey: a better movie.

Yeah. So they, they do, they, they do save Cooper town basically by devolving. Yeah. Cooper into a well stages. It goes to a TX to slightly less define TX to just a. Pile of goo

Reegs: goo

Sidey: So they so fucking yay. Make it happy ending, but it's not because Daisy cannot bring herself to go back to no, that's right.

I thought

Reegs: to stay in touch with Lance Henrickson.

Sidey: Yeah. I thought Lui would've said well fine. I I'll stay here because I love you so much, but he's like, no fine. I'll fuck off as well then. Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: You like, oh, okay.

Dan: It's not his place. It's not his time, but,

Reegs: it was shit there though. Wouldn't it? I mean, you know, it was like all

Dan: it could be better as soon as they, you they're the paint brushes out, going over Cooper.

Like literally he's. Still turning to go. They, they, by the time you give it a few months, they'll have that

Sidey: gentrification, no one, the rents were just skyrocketed. No one would be able to afford to live there. Yeah.

Reegs: Some cus opened like a 24 hour cereal bar there

Sidey: So yeah, they go home and they're, but they've got fucking tons of work now because they're super which is great. And then almost immediately. Daisy, just barges through the door and says, lads

Reegs: but she's all Sarah con style, like decked out and,

Sidey: you lads, we've got a sequel to make him. You're like, no fucking great.

There's gonna be another one. No

Reegs: And then we

Dan: muster up the,

Sidey: you stay for the post credit?

Reegs: Well, no, hang on before that, because yes, they, they were post credit as well, but we also had almost unreal by Rockette. It was absolutely unlistenable

Dan: I

Reegs: and I listened to it and it was awful.

Dan: yeah. I stayed in listen to about half of that and then turned it

Sidey: off.

Oh, you missed,

Reegs: did you get the,

Dan: Did you get the, but I didn't get right. The,

Reegs: the post credits? You, you went through all of that and you didn't get the there's a post credit scene.

Dan: Okay. What I share that

Sidey: the two guys who are

Reegs: two Japanese businessmen, turn up. Yeah. At the clever at spike and Watson chap's place. And they say they wanna make a video game based on their experiences, but they dunno what to call it.

And it pans round and it's spiker. You think it's gonna be Maryanne? And they say, oh, they're super Cooper cousins.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. So what do you, what do you think of this? Did you enjoy it?

Dan: I think that last joke says it all. I,

Sidey: I, I have to say that I've got a bit of a thing for this like terrible nineties aesthetic looking stuff. So if I can like completely take it out of the Mario video game context, I actually sort of enjoyed it a little bit. yeah, I got a bit of a kick out of it. I was kind of laughing at it a lot

Dan: I say I watched her with my daughter who was enjoying it. So that raises your own enjoyment value in anything. And it, it was a film when I watched many years ago.

I didn't think I would ever see again, to be honest. But it wasn't, you know, as I say, she got their enjoyment and, and. That's good enough. So it gets at least one thumb up for me for that. It's not a good film though, really. And you can see that with the amount of hype around it at the time and the and the potential of, of doing a good film about Mario

Sidey: they threw a few could at it. It's 48 million in the

Dan: Yeah. Which, yeah, I remember it being, you

Sidey: mean, they've built, you know, everything, there is

Dan: I dunno how much that

Sidey: way is like practical, you know, they've built

Reegs: I was gonna say, I can understand, like, people who like this movie, they probably like things like the huge chaotic sets and the big. Design and the weird

Dan: lows to seeing it.

Reegs: and the bizarreness of it. But it's, you know, as a movie, it's like, the plot is so convoluted and the pacing's wrong and it never stops.

And the it's like endless scenes of the boys bickering and that score and telling everything is playful and lots of plot. And

Sidey: Dennis Hopper said He said, I made a picture called super Mario Bross and my six year old son at the time now 18 said, dad. I think you're probably a pretty good actor, but why did you play that terrible guy? King Cooper and super Mario boss. And I said, well, Henry, I did that. So you could have shoes. And he said, dad, I don't need shoes that badly. And he also said it was a nightmare. Very honestly, that movie, it was husband and wife, directing team, both control freaks. I wouldn't talk before they made decisions. I was supposed to go down there for five weeks, but it went on for 17 and it was so over.

Reegs: Yeah. They were just, you know, it's just a mess.


Dan: up five weeks into 17. That's

Sidey: That's

Dan: that's terrible. I mean, really is though, isn't it? I mean, that's

Reegs: the whole idea though. Being green lit in the first place that it's like a gritty and adult version, like, you know,

Sidey: This is the first ever like full on computer game adaptation into a movie.

And I don't have a great history.

Dan: the next one?


I bet it was a while from, to, to

Sidey: I think that golden eye film that started out as a, as an N 64 game that they turned into a movie was, was a pretty good one. Yeah, it didn't make any money. Unfortunately it lost any, did 21 mill at the box office.

And even though it's got a bit of a cult following, I still don't think it would've been cult enough to claw back any of that.

Reegs: No, this was terrible. Sorry. B

Dan: That was another one. I remember a computer game that Jake Gillen hall was in. That was, I didn't watch it actually,

Sidey: I, I saw that cinema

Reegs: a werewolves within, I think is a computer game and I watched that on Netflix and that was pretty good.

Dan: Did they do altered beasts?

Reegs: hill is also pretty decent,

Sidey: I dunno if they did ed boots The boots that they wear. Did you recognize them? They've appeared elsewhere?

Dan: No.

Reegs: go on, tell us

Sidey: face off.


Dan: kind of

Reegs: black in the, in the prison that they were, they the same boots.


Sidey: The same prop. They just lifted them and used

Reegs: love that. That's great.

Sidey: Maybe it means it's in

Reegs: in same universe. Love that

Sidey: Sorey. Our verdict is, well, certainly my verdict is that it's big, dumb, fun, but not a good

Dan: Yeah, it was. I, I must admit it was it wasn't a struggle cuz I watched.

Sidey: I must

Dan: a smile on my face with my daughter next to me, and there was a good few laughs.

I was surprised that she liked it. I thought we both wouldn't enjoy it, but one of us did

Sidey: I dunno how much of my enjoyment, which wasn't this huge, you know, don't get wrong. It wasn't like off the chart enjoyment. How much of it was me to sort of laughing at it and, and just being

Dan: yeah, there was that as well.

Sidey: in how it came to be exactly.

Rather than it just going, this is actually the shit

Dan: it's, it's probably better on the second viewing.

Reegs: I think there were other pieces of shit I'd rather watch, Than

Dan: take that as well. Yeah,

Reegs: awful.

Dan: Yeah. But I mean, if you've got a, a real kind of marry, you know, Mario mad kid or something, then

Sidey: show them this, cuz they'll be disappointed.

Dan: You can put him off Mario then. Yeah.