This weeks Midweek Mention is a glorious mishmash of ultra low-budget niche-interest film-making and Sidey trolling as we start our winter celebrations with a look at The Asylum's HOME ALONE with dogs clone, BONE ALONE (aka ALONE FOR CHRISTMAS).
When Dad (David Deluise) and family mistakenly accuse talking German Shepherd Bone of almost ruining Christmas, he is packed off to the worlds worst kennel rather than taken to Grandma's house to enjoy the festivities. Realising that their house will be robbed by an overly flirtatious postman and his two idiotic goons, one of whom looks like Mackenzie Crook on crack, Bone is forced to escape and defend his home before Christmas is ruined for real this time.
BONE ALONE is not a good movie in any conventional way and any enjoyment that can be extracted from it is mostly of the 'so bad it's good' variety though the pure sadism of the crafty canines and the absurd plotting are particularly entertaining. There's also the comically cheap special effects, awful performances, homages to popular culture - hey, remember that scene in DIE HARD where John McClane is crawling around a ventilation shaft? This movie remembers it too - and Z-list actor Kevin Sorbo, popping up as an evil dog catcher named Quentin in order to recreate memorable scenes from JAWS and then disappear from the movie, never to be heard from again. A jaw dropping SIXTH SENSE style twist ending reveals that Dad's father is Santa and also he has never been to his son's house for some reason.
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Until next time, we remain...
Sidey - Bone Alone
Dan: See, we'd never covered like hardcore porn before ever. We,
Sidey: no, we haven't, and we're not going to today. Did you per chance, watch a different version of the movie that we watch?
Dan: Well, when I put Bon alone into my search engine,
Sidey: well, don't do it work.
Dan: Well, I, I've come up with a few different boner loans.
There's There's obviously the gay porn Bon alone um, obviously
Sidey: the superior version,
Dan: which is where I went directly to. Yeah. But there's also like, heterosexual bon alone stuff and well
Sidey: possibly why this film also goes by the name of Alone for Christmas.
Dan: Ah, well I bet there's something else in there.
Sidey: there had been some chatter on Twitter about talking animal movies. Yes. And so we were quite keen to do one. Yeah. And we managed to pair that up nicely with our holiday themed week. Yes. So we'd gone for Bon Alone.
Reegs: Yeah. This is an asylum film. We have done an asylum movie before Sharknado.
Yeah. Sharknado five that we did. . I wouldn't say we are veterans of the asylum. Not like some of our, our listeners. They're an American sort of independent film company and distributor that focuses on producing like really ultra low, low budget movies and direct to video films often, like with titles that try to confuse you, like Transmor instead of Transformers or Alien versus Hunter Titanic two the Day the Earth.
Sidey: the DaVinci
Reegs: and my personal favorite 30,000 leagues under the Sea, so it's 10,000 better than the other. So yeah, basically they clearly just get a bunch of money that they farm out for like a quarter of a million dollars somebody. And the pitches are simple, like it was with this one home alone, but with Dogs I've got the title.
It's Bone Alone. There you go, mate. There's your 300 grand. Go off and make a movie.
Dan: because it's very different to the Ron Jeremy one that I've watched then because Ron kind of plays similar to Home Alone and there's a, somebody left alone and he's a burglar
Dan: But yeah, it, it's
Reegs: in the Ron Jeremy version you're talking
Dan: talking, in the Ron Jeremy version.
There's you know, it just says, oh, it's, it's very, very wet outside and you know, there's, so, I dunno whether we're, we're. Very,
Sidey: treads a bit of a different path. This one,
Dan: It's different. Yeah. This
Reegs: is more about the complex dichotomy of man versus b Stan or isolation versus togetherness.
Dan: Okay. There was doggie sort of stuff in this, but it was no different.
Sidey: This one starts off with a dog with some, will you see some burglars doing the classic sneaking pose?
Reegs: They're in like sort of full combat, black combat gear. Yeah. And they distract, cupcake, the guard ball dog by throwing him a bone. Bone works like a charm every time they say. And then the dog can't get the bone through the gate as well. And there's a bit of lulls there. Yeah. And then this animated intro with all sort of holiday shenanigan shenanigans, Halloween stuff, a recurring thing of the dog doing something silly and then being told off by the.
Sidey: Yeah. Well, the dog in the, in the animated intro, the dog was getting blamed for all the stuff.
Right? It wasn't that dog. It was the other dog,
Reegs: Columbus. And
Sidey: lo and behold, that's what goes down.
Dan: Do they look the same?
Reegs: No, no. I'm not very good
Dan: I can see where the confusions come from. Then
Reegs: Columbus is a little black and white fella.
A terrier, I think.
Sidey: It was like Mong kind of thing.
Reegs: And bone is, that's our title. Character. That's why it's bone. And he's gonna be left alone at some point. Yeah. He's a German Shepherd type Yeah. Thing.
Sidey: He was an older dog. Cause they, they've, they like shamelessly, like ageist about him.
Reegs: Yes. Yeah.
And they can talk to each other.
And their lips move in a very budget
Dan: Do they speak English or?
Sidey: well, it's, it's the common tongue
Sidey: So the, first of all,
Reegs: English to each other and with, you know, remarkably good sentence structure. I mean, it does imply a lot about the, you know, if dogs were this sentient. Mm-hmm.
Sidey: And Columbus. No. Wait, who?
Reegs: Yes, it's Columbus. He hears a noise and he goes to investigate the danger, but there's nobody there and blah, blah, blah.
Dan: That's what dogs do though. I
Sidey: But what what he does do, Dan, this is, this is key. He, he starts. Opening presents that are out beneath the tree cuz he, he thinks there's a burglar in there.
Sidey: And it's not, it's just a doll.
somehow has been set off
Sidey: its, its programmed noises and
Reegs: bones ended up with a bit of tinsel on him. And when the family come down,
Dan: that's what I'm thinking.
Who's getting blamed for this? Because you don't open presents on Christmas Eve.
Sidey: case of mistaken identity.
Reegs: And they think it's bone cuz he's got the tinsel on him. But it wasn't, it was Columbus.
Dan: Did they have CCTV at home? Did, could they
Sidey: they don't. No.
And it sets things in motion because they're going away for the holidays to spend it with grandma. Yeah. And they're like, well, we can't take bone because he's a prick.
Dan: No, they've left him at home
Reegs: his bad behavior. Yeah.
Sidey: And except, but we're not gonna leave him at alone. We'll take Columbus because he is just little rat shrew dog.
But bone's gotta go into the kennels or whatever,
Dan: And Columbus is the one that's done this. Yeah,
Reegs: it's a family Dad, mom, Dylan is the boy. I didn't get the girl's name. And the kid says he's heard the kennel's mean place like a prison.
If a dog comes in wearing a sweater, he'll get shanked. So anyway, and then the family get ready to go just before the dad leaves. He says, oh, he's something about the shower downstairs. The hot water is broken. I wonder if that'll
Sidey: might play into something later. Yeah.
Reegs: Co Columbus apologizes to bone, forgetting him in trouble.
Dan: gonna ask because he's, he's left carrying the, the can here bone and he's gonna be left alone. He's gonna be bone
Reegs: Well, basically,
Sidey: but their, their language hills don't.
Go as far as them being able to articulate that to the family,
So just to each other. So bone's pretty cool that he's like,
Reegs: well, he says, we are not watchdogs, we're family dogs. And it's important thing cause it's part of his character journey such that it is
Reegs: The male guy turns up and he flirts like absolutely mercilessly with the wife. It's totally savage. He's bought socks for Dylan, the annoying son whose job it is to remind everyone in every scene that this is the worst Christmas ever.
Yeah. And she tells the male guy that he's going away and he's gonna go, goes to give him a big tip for Christmas, but he's not allowed to take it. And he seems especially pleased about it. I don't know. I got, I was getting a bit of a suspicious vibe from him and I should have done, yeah, because he goes straight back to his van, a Dodge van.
Did you know, it is just like in the wet bandits in home alone, that'll play out to it. And there's a gang there. Dan
Dan: a gang.
Sidey: Yeah, Yeah. There's him, he's the ringleader and there's two accomplices. Oh,
Dan: okay. So he is not, Play hide the bone with the, the wife. He's, he's
Sidey: playing. No, he's, because while he is talking to her, he's looking around, he's, he's casing the joint. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan: Wow. Okay.
Reegs: And the two sidekicks are idiots. You've got sort of meth addicted, Tom York, I guess. Yeah. And
Sidey: big fat guy,
Reegs: guy from the bit like Julian Denison from , the a, the Aussie guy, the New Zealand kid
Sidey: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep,
Reegs: He wanted to go caroling anyway. As, and they drive off. So they've been scoping the places. Now this is just a, a lot of people will never have watched a movie that is quite as cheap and, and nasty as this. And when they drive off, there's a great shot. Do you remember this side?
Sidey: Well, I'm just thinking about the snow .
yeah. Right? So they, they're supposed to,
Sidey: sorry I got going about the snow. Cuz if, if we were to like go outside and just lay a few bits of cotton wool out, that's what they've done.
I mean it's incredible. Yeah, it's amazing.
Reegs: And in this scene where we're supposed to see how villainous they are after they've cased the joint they got in the van, they've established who they are, they drive off and they're supposed to drive off over the kid.
Next door's bike. But because they couldn't afford the
Sidey: the setup for it.
Reegs: you see the car sort of reverse out, go past it. Somebody just obviously pushes the bike over in another shot and then the car drives off. So
Sidey: the kid goes, oh yeah,
Dan: Okay, but we can use that bike again.
Reegs: Yeah, exactly. Yeah. It's so budget and
Sidey: really does set the tone.
Dan: For the next three days of watching this,
Sidey: No, it's
Reegs: It's short. Yeah, no, it's fine. And it gets better. They take a bone off to the kennel, which was a sort of stuffy little house where the dogs appear to run wild. And it's run by this overweight guy with a bandana on his head called Anthony. Anthony or aaa to his friends
he's given this sort of comedy intro where he slips in shit as he runs up.
And then the guy, the dads, he sort of dusts himself off and dad says, aren't you gonna clean it up? He says, no, I'm covered it in any way, And then he goes to shake his. And dad is reluctant to leave bone at the kennel. At first, he's like family. It's
Sidey: a shithole and there's just dogs just completely feral, just running around, and he's like, I don't know.
I don't know if this is really the place. And the guy just kind of like talks him
Reegs: Yeah. He says he loves dogs more than
Sidey: I wasn't convinced
Dan: And, and they haven't, they're not bringing bone because of the present. They're just worried that he's gonna do the same at
Sidey: and they don't want him being a nightmare during the holiday as well at Grandma's
Dan: So it is
Reegs: important that you've latched onto this point, Dan, because this will come back in stunning fashion at
Dan: Right. Oh, okay.
Reegs: I'm glad you have, have gone onto this. So anyway, dad does agree to leave bone at the kennel. And he's shown to his room.
It's a few cushions on the floor of a box room And he shares he shares it with cupcake, the bulldog from the beginning. and some other little one, and he's depressed. They describe it as he's lost his bite cupcake and he was a watchdog who, as we saw in the beginning, let Roberts take stuff from his house.
And bone is a pacifist, I think. He says Not everyone can fight, but Cupcake says we all have a bite. Some just, some of us just don't know how to
Sidey: it's very philosophical.
Reegs: So Cupcake ruined Christmas. So he's been sent to the slammer while the family have gone skiing in the mountains.
And then he says something about the rubbers smelling of fish and body spray, which Columbus had said the same thing about. So, bone now has worked out. It's the same guys who did over Cupcakes House as,
Dan: Sherlock Bones
Reegs: to his house earlier. And then he has a lament. He's like, I dunno what to do. This room doesn't have a phone.
We don't even have thumbs.
Sidey: which is true. Yeah,
Dan: yeah, yeah. Got a tail.
Sidey: but he's gotta get outta there. He's gotta break up.
Reegs: They come up with a plan to get him up. It's one of them shouts that he needs a piss. Basically barks a lot and the guy comes out and then he runs away across a rope bridge that wasn't there a minute ago. do you remember
Dan: spotted. Spotted the
Reegs: is, the continuity is off the
Sidey: I mean, there is a lot to take in in this movie.
Reegs: Mm. And then the family drive off to grandmas in like four or five minutes of screen time that does literally nothing to advance the plot. And then you can see through the windows that they forgot to composite in.
They're like, what the special effects of the snow in the background? It's just a gray
Sidey: I mean it's, they've got this like fake snow. It's not even fa, it's not even like to describe it as fake snow is kind of insulting
Dan: Just see somebody walking past with a boom
Sidey: clearly like July. I mean, it's not , you know,
Reegs: it's amazing.
Dan: Is it, have we had a lot of talking dog content up
Sidey: Do you know what That was my one takeaway. Well, that was one of the takeaways in the film that I could have done with more talking dogs.
Reegs: I actually prefer a sort of more upmarket talking dog movie. This is slightly too budget for me, but it it makes up for it in other ways.
Yeah. So anyway, they eventually stop at a cafe, don't they, to get some lunch and they, they've got cameras they can watch bone on the camera.
Sidey: So they they do actually have
Reegs: ccc They do, yeah.
Sidey: They just didn't use it when?
Dan: There that that could have just cleared him.
Sidey: It was just, yeah, it was no due
Dan: had been going to, yeah,
Reegs: So somehow I tuned out for maybe 30 seconds and somehow in that time, Columbus worked out, the bone was in trouble, so he releases the parking brake on the car and in what is probably the most expensive shot of the movie,
Sidey: it gently reverses
Reegs: gently reverses it back and, and the window breaks.
But it's CGI cuz they, it was obviously cheaper to do it.
Dan: right. With the computer. Yeah. Yeah. I guess it is, isn't it? It's just, they're, they're really thoughtful and saving resources.
Reegs: And then amazingly Columbus escapes in the back of a pickup truck which is about a kilometer away when the girl spots that he's lying down in the back of it, wearing a rug over his head
Sidey: Is that the one with Father Christmas and, yeah. if Father Christmas gets involved, he's got a dog called Diesel. Diesel. Yeah.
Dan: How much does it follow? The home alone plot? We
Sidey: once, once the burglary kicks off in earn, then you get all the high
Dan: It really is
Sidey: and some just incredible visuals.
Reegs: So they do go to the house and they, the main guy, Jeff, I think his name is, he tells him, look for small items, jewelry, antiques presents, which haven't been opened and can be returned for money. It's a pretty solid plan.
Sidey: Has bone been there first to set up the
Reegs: well? Bone comes back now. So he steals the skateboard.
So you do get a bit of a skateboarding talking dog.
Sidey: That's always classic, classic skateboarding dog.
Reegs: And it's actually Dan in a little twist, he steals the skateboard of the kid whose bike was run over at the beginning as well.
Dan: having no joy, is he? Yeah.
Reegs: So anyway, he gets back to the house, he sets off car alarms by pushing the wheels.
Yeah. And so it frightens the, the robbers out. And in that time, I've got a list of it here. It's amazing cuz he goes into the house and he claws through the wooden floor of the raised entrance of the porch of the house and then covers it with a. For someone to fall through, wrap some glue and tinsel and electric lights together.
Fashions a water torture closet by blocking the drain with a ball. Heats up a candlestick by attaching it to a pair of like hair straighteners. Hair straighteners. You'd have to plug it in, he'd have to plug it in. He stacks up a load of teddies by the window and covers them in glue. Puts a bunch a bunch of Lego out on the floor, rubs hot sauce all over the hand towel so that if anybody needs a hand towel, they're just gonna.
Heat in their eyes and then manufactures a crude treche using dog litter in a broom.
Dan: Don't wanna get on the wrong side of this puppy, do you?
Reegs: It's incredible. It's absolutely incredible. It's like sore, but with dogs. Yeah.
Yeah, it. Deadly deadly place to go. They
Sidey: they fall like straight away, hook, line, sinker for the porch, the hole in the straight in. Yes, straight down. And whilst it, so it's the. How did you describe him?
Tom York on crack. Yeah. He's the one who falls through, so he is like skinny blonde dude. Little bit like
Sidey: Gareth. Yeah. Gareth Keenan from the office looks a bit like him
Reegs: Yeah. Mackenzie crook, but on crack. Yeah. He already looks like Mackenzie crook on crack, didn't he?
Dan: he? Yeah,
Sidey: He's, he's suspended in the.
In the porch way there, and they're trying to get him out, but they're all looking in one direction and while they're doing that bone is whacking him over the head with a frying
Reegs: With a frying pan. Yeah. It's amazing.
Sidey: that we don't see how he's manipulating the frying pad that's offscreen, but we just hear a thud.
And him getting more and more concussed and he, he really takes, this guy, takes the brunt of the beatings really physically.
Reegs: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. He really does.
But the fat guy does try to break in through an upstairs window after they do retrieve Mackenzie Crook. And, but he's put bones poured some fairy liquid on it and he slips down the ladder Uhhuh yeah.
Right. The family, realized that Columbus is left and the girl spotted him going off in Santa's truck. So they've tried to tail him and diesel the dog then throws a bit of wood with spikes on the back of it, and we get this incredible like tire puncture and this amazing,
Sidey: this would honestly make your year.
I would, I ah, it's what a sequence. What a sequence. Yeah.
It kind of, it's kind of bending
Reegs: Yeah. . Yeah. Yeah.
Sidey: It becomes like a rubber cup. Honestly, it's the most budget
Dan: what they are. They've, they've not, it's not cgi, this,
Sidey: no, it's an attempt at cgi and it goes, it's, it's as if it's skidded, it's, it's spinning outta control, but for about 200 yards.
Yeah. And then it just pulls up nice and neatly to on, you know, on the side of the road.
Reegs: Honestly, inside that car, they'd have been pulling about eight G
Reegs: how much force they would've been
Sidey: been. And, and your mind is blown at this
Reegs: So Pehi Peche, his, he's not Peche, but he's Jeff, he's like, basically Joe Pehi, he peche his way into the house and he gets glued straight away to the feet.
He's got lights and stuff sort of glued to him and he's like comically dragging them around. And he's got these bits and paper on your feet if your kids are making craft in that and they're like trapped your feet. Fucking annoying. And then bone sneaks out and grabs a bungee cord and rigs the garage door using a trap with a reindeer ornament that's gonna come back.
Anyway, they start grabbing stuff. The robbers, the thin guy eats some bean dip with his fingers from the fridge. Do you remember that bit? He's like gorging on it. And the fat guy grabs the candlestick, which is hot, and he manages to throw it downstairs. It's hot. Ah, like throws it over the thing which magically sort of goes around the house so that the guy downstairs can catch it as well.
Yeah. And it's really hot. And then he smacks him with it and knocks him unconscious, doesn't he? And.
Sidey: so that's Mackenzie crook down again.
He multiple head
Reegs: they do the shot as well of him is clearly him lying on the floor and opening his eyes and standing up, but shown him reverse because it was cheaper and easier to do it that way than have like a stunt.
Dan: Yes, the really tempting me in it here with this big
Sidey: box, honestly. Amazing.
Reegs: So anyway, the, the, the dog the robbers see the dog and they realize they've got a problem and you know, they think they're gonna get clobbered by the chandelier thing that he's holding. Yeah. It's War of the Roses
Sidey: style. Yeah.
Reegs: And then isn't this a bit where they have the Mc maniacal laugh and they call in Quentin, please tell me we've get to get to that bit.
Sidey: Well, the, whilst the chandelier is there, they get a knock on the.
Reegs: Oh, and it's Father Christmas. Yeah. He's come to return the dog because he, Columbus, he's got a collar on him.
And he's come to return the dog.
Sidey: Then, then things get outta hand. So,
Reegs: Oh, dad has to change the wheel of the car. Right? And it inexplicably just rolls off down the freeway like it's possessed by a ghost. That's why they can't get there. It's amazing. And then anyway, right, so because they realize that the dog is there.
This is when Jeff, the Joe Pesci character, the one who flirted, he's like, I'm gonna call him my cousin. He's a dog catcher, Quentin. And they're like, that's psycho or whatever. And this. Is, is really an amazing bit. This is Kevin Sorbo. He's, he's the equivalent of an actor in this movie.
Sidey: Yeah. He, you'd recognize him from Hercules.
Sidey: And other things. But you would, you would, he's he's the face in this, although I'm pretty sure I recognize the dad from like a journeyman, you know, like there's been a hundred series and he's been in one episode of all of them.
Reegs: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well he, he's also been in stuff like P Star and other talking dog singing dog
Sidey: got good niche.
Reegs: Yeah. So anyway, he's a grizzled veteran of the dog catching business. He's covered in scars a great Dan. And it does, right. Basically it just goes into an entire like 20 minute sequence where they just riff off of
Sidey: Yeah, literally the fishing rod and everything.
Reegs: Fishing rod is comparing scars, and then in an amazing bit he does the speech about the guys when the plane crashed in, the sharks circling in the water, but he does it with poodles.
Oh, it's incredible.
Sidey: thought they were gonna do a proper, we need a bigger, you know, bigger boat sort of line.
But they didn't, I was just like waiting for it. , it didn't happen.
Reegs: He's, he does, his poodles got lifeless eyes, like a doll's eye. And he, you know, oh. Anyway, they do eventually get someone,
Sidey: Yeah. He, it catches onto the end of the fat guy.
Reegs: Yeah, that's
Sidey: right. They're dragging him around the house and they dunno, they think they've caught the big, you know, a big fish slash dog. Yeah.
Reegs: But it's actually caught on the fat guy's ass
Sidey: hilarity and then they just, they just start falling from more and more of the traps. So the fat guy, Gets his face and wipes it on the face cloth.
It's got the hot sauce on it. in
which causes him to go to the shower. Yeah. Which we've had this elaborate setup of knowing that the wa the hot water is broken and the dog has plugged the,
Dan: Oh, the water
Sidey: the drain. With a, with a, so the waterboard in,
Reegs: As soon as he gets in there, he puts the broom across. So he is like locked in there as well. So, and he's gonna drown
Sidey: And the effects of the water are
Reegs: amazing. Yeah. And then Quentin he's also got some water and a cattle prod and he's gonna prod bone, but he drops the cattle prod and the watering explodes him across the room.
It's sort of quite ace venters all covered in certain hair, all wild and all that. So anyway, the. We, we have, there's still quite a lot of horrible stuff to go because he, one of them, they go after bone and Mackenzie Crook looks for him in the laundry shoot. Yeah. And he, they start doing some die hard bits and that sort of stuff.
And then he drops a sort of dart up his ass.
Dan: Bone does.
Reegs: and Yes, that is the plot. He's dropped a thing and he's like, howling and it's in my bar and whatever. Yeah,
Dan: There's a dark upper
Reegs: and eventually he is freed only to fall on a barbecue that bone has rigged up. I mean, the violence is really escalating now.
Sidey: Yeah. Well, you get the. The running
Dan: This is an 18, is
Sidey: They've got a, he's got a treadmill set up, which he puts on full speed and the, is it the ringleader or is it Kevin Sobo? I can't remember. He's, he's like coming up bone and he's like, don't do it. And he starts just dropping cutlery
Sidey: onto the treadmill. And it just like shoots off like, like
Dan: like a bullet.
Sidey: and it's just stabbing him.
It's just by like kitchen knives and stuff. It's amazing.
Reegs: Yeah. And yeah, the torture continues eventually Mackenzie Crook ends up in the chimney.
Reegs: Yeah. And.
Sidey: oh, basically the police turn up at some point.
Reegs: Right. So basically all of the robbers, of course, get taken down by the dogs. Left, tied up.
At least two of them were dead. I'm sure
Sidey: Well, it ends up with the three dogs eventually, team. . So you get,
Sidey: Columbus Bone, diesel, and Columbus are all in the house and, and save the day. And so the police are there and they're
Reegs: It's an amazing moment where one of the dogs repels down the chimney and atta, they like atta one of the robbers legs. It's incredible.
Dan: what what the family like. I'm intrigued to think what the family
Reegs: well, they turn up right at the end when everything has been, you know, all the robbers have been subdued and they walk in and they're like, oh, I'm so pleased that
Dan: And he snow at
Sidey: house has been ruined.
Dan: And he snow at this point just coming down
Sidey: it looks the same as before.
I mean, the house has been like pretty much destroyed. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of collateral damage. You'd have been better off just letting the robbers take a few of the gifts. Yes. But they like, they took a toaster and a Yeah,
Dan: Yeah. But they'd gone on to other places that had done it,
Sidey: yes, but your house would've been
Reegs: the irony of course is that bone was not allowed to go cuz he would've like ruined Christmas and he has of course ruined Christmas.
No. And then an incredible shot for the ages, like the sixth sense, this was inexplicably Santa and his wife turn up again on the door at the end and they were like, Oh, hi dad And he says, oh, I didn't realize you'd moved
Reegs: And it, and so all along. So all along Santa has been the dad's dad and they didn't real, it just makes no sense whatsoever.
They just drop it in, it, split it, and then it.
Sidey: And then my daughter said, is there a bone alone too?
Dan: And I think there is, isn't there?
Sidey: I hope so. Cause it's so much fun.
Dan: Was it really? Was this good fun?
Yeah. Real kick outta this.
Dan: Oh, right, okay.
Sidey: Enjoyed it. It's so fucking
Dan: just didn't have time to get round to it this week, but it, it
Sidey: sounds like it's a hate watch really, you know, because, By any conceivable metric. It's sort of, it's terrible. Yeah. But also,
Dan: it's so bad. It's good.
Reegs: It's just so much fun.
Sidey: It's just stupid. You're laughing and they're, and they're laughing at it as well. You know, no one and that work on this is taking it seriously. Surely.
Reegs: I, I have to say, right, the script is actually surprisingly sharp. I was quite surpri, like genuinely, I was like, they are trying their very best with some of this shit. Like,
Dan: it's good. I mean, sometimes if you've got a theme like that, you, you don't want them to think, right guys, what's your motivation? No. You just want people to go in, see what it is for, and it's a talking animal.
Let's have a laugh with it.
Sidey: Yeah. It's a home alone.
Dan: try and get people laughing.
Sidey: no worse than home alone,
I prefer, obviously prefer this to home alone. Also, when you just glance across at the misses and she's having the worst time of her life, just like, fuck, this is fucking shit.
Reegs: What are we
Sidey: like low.
Reegs: It's so unbelievably cheap. Like I say, a lot of people will not have watched a movie as cheap as this. They use the same establishing shot of the house about 200 times during the movie. It's incredible.
Sidey: They do. Yeah. Yeah. And I just, I still can't get over the snow like the thought this will do. It's, there's a lot of that in it where you just think, they just thought this will, this is okay. Yeah, it's fine. I
50 50 on this being absolute horseshit. God, what have I done until Sorbo turns up with the, the jaw stuff. Yeah. The thing about the poodles is just in incre, you can't believe what you're
Sidey: watching. . When I saw the car crash or the non, the non-car crash, I was like, oh, this is just next level. Yeah. Amazing.
Reegs: I mean, I wouldn't recommend anybody spends any money on this, but,
Sidey: we did.
Reegs: yeah, but it would
Dan: be, but did you have to pay for this one as well? Was this a paid, a paid one? Well, I say just the one that I watched with Don Fernando Damien Wolf, Angela, Angela Faith, Courtney Fallon, Gabrielle Ron, Jeremy.
And it was a half decent watch if, if you wanted a different
Sidey: it'll probably be hard to know which one's got the best acting.
Dan: Yeah. , to be honest, probably
Sidey: some incredible performances in this.
I mean, unbelievable.
Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Everybody's a charisma vacuum really.
Sidey: but yeah. Strong recommend for
Reegs: me. Yeah.
Dan: for it.