Do you like fruit? Of course not but we tell our children we do because we want them to believe the ridiculous lie that fruit is real food, and that is what's important. I have an apple pretty much every day, that's how sound I am. We discuss the use of fruit in films and given their myriad of uses - mainly for smashing into during car chases or f****g - there is a lot to choose from.
Legendary British comic book writer Warren Ellis co-created a three issue DC Comics series called RED that inspired the 2010 action-comedy which is the subject of this week’s review. Whilst Bruce Willis might be on familiar ground as former black-ops agent Frank Moses, director Robert Schwentke assembles an unlikely cast to support him which includes Morgan Freeman as his CIA mentor, John Malkovich as a victim of illegal experimentation, subjected to daily doses of LSD for years, Helen Mirren as a retired MI6 assassin and Brian Cox as an ex-KGB officer who is still in love with her. This one really runs the gamut from average to mediocre, though anyone who can't enjoy Dame Helen wielding an enormous belt-fed machine gun or Brian Cox hamming it up more than Miss Piggy's bacon sandwich is dead inside.
GREEN EGGS AND HAM was the result of a bet between medical professional impersonator Dr Seuss and his publicist that he couldn't write a novel using only 50 words and the fact that the prestige-fraud claiming quack successfully produced one of the best-selling kids’ books of all time conclusively proves that children are idiots. This 23-episode Netflix adaptation features striking visuals and a strong cast including Michael Douglas, Adam Devine, Keegan-Michael Key and Eddie Izzard but that doesn't stop us from asking the important questions like just why is the titular food green and what might the devious Sam-I-Am be hiding? Watch out for an explosive finale to the review where two of the guys say they will watch more of this, and the other dad beats them to death for their lies and insolence.
We love to hear from our listeners! By which I mean we tolerate it. Try us on twitter @dads_film, on Facebook Bad Dads Film Review, on email at email@example.com or on our website baddadsfilm.com.
Until next time, we remain...
Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review and I bumped into a listener this week. Res, how'd you do it? Come up with an intro that's sort of vaguely funny or interesting, or just some words at the beginning of the show each week. And I said, Well, Jonathan, sometimes it's just a random made up anecdote that helps to kick things off.
Or maybe there's something that's really pissing me off that I wanna howl into the void about. Like the insufferable owner of a $44 billion multinational platform tweeting right wing conspiracy theories, like he's just some internet troll and who should never be allowed to forget that he already did this once before when he forcely accused a British rescue worker of being a pedophile during the Thai cave rescue.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, It's Anyway, Craig, thanks for listening and the feedback. It is very much appreciated. This week's show was curated by Dog Whisperer and Freelance Proctologist Sidy, who starts things off tonight with the top five fruit. Before moving on to the 2010 Bruce Willis Action Comedy Red for our main feature, and then we bring things to a close with green eggs and ham.
Sidey: Second helping.
Reegs: Yeah. And there's also me and Dan here. Hello.
Sidey: Did you watch anything good this week? Re
Reegs: I am absolutely all over the watcher on Netflix. Have you watched it yet?
Sidey: No. No.
Reegs: Oh man. Yeah. It's gripping. Absolutely. It's, we're on, We've done, we've just got the last episode to go.
And it's just starting to slip a little bit. I hope it sticks the landing, but it's been like absolutely great. Great to ev
Sidey: Would we be scared? Would Dan be scared?
Reegs: probably. Yeah. There's some creepy shit like yeah. Around, but it's mostly just like quite hamy as well and over the top, but it's, yeah, it's good. And that it's got an irresistible based on a true story credit in it, which when you're watching it, you're like, really, really, how much of this really can be true?
So when you watch it, I, I can't wait to finish it so I can see what actually happened.
Dan: Nice Okay. I watched some stuff. I watched Lucifer again.
I'm trying to just wrap up the end of that series. My sister said to me, Oh no, you've got watch the end. You've gotta watch the end. So I had that on pause for a little while. Caught up with a lot of other stuff and, or I've been watching. I really like that. You haven't seen any of those
Sidey: No. I'm gonna, I'm gonna be able to binge that cause I've stockpiled it.
Dan: it. That's, that's a nice thing to look forward to. Has any of you guys seen the offer yet?
Reegs: No, not yet
Dan: I still want that to look forward to. I watched The Godfather part two and there was one other thing, but again, like most weeks I can't remember everything I've seen.
Sidey: I've been watching loads of Harry Potter, so we've got,
Dan: You must have done them by now.
Sidey: Yeah, this is fourth time round. Why? My daughter's still, it's like she's watching the first time.
She just asks so many questions, like relentlessly, Why are they doing if you just fucking watch and everything will be given to you on the
Reegs: you Yeah, it's quite complicated films though, aren't they? There's
Sidey: like Yeah
Reegs: a lot of McGuffin
Sidey: easier to take it in if you watch it and I would
say that. So,
Reegs: they constantly ask the, the, it's a fine line for people who aren't used to watching movies.
It's like, just shut up and it will
Sidey: you. Yeah Or
Reegs: if you don't know, it's because you're not supposed to know right now or, Yeah.
Sidey: Yeah. So we've got a lot of that and I'm I'm very tolerant, fine.
So we've got we're just finishing deathly hell's part once I've just got the, the finale.
I've seen it a million Finished Rem finished. No, not finished. She Hawk. But I did move that forward. I still got a few fucking, I really wanna get that done. Wanna watch Andor, but haven't yet. And then other than that, think it was just homework and of course strictly huge fan.
Dan: right? Isn't Tony Adams
Sidey: Yeah, he's doing well. He's got apparently BBC worried because he's got a shit load of Arsenal fans just voting for him, like, because
Sidey: So that's happening. So. Oh, controversial.
Dan: There we go. And res did you get down to watching anything other than the homework this week?
Reegs: Yeah, I, I watched the watch
Sidey: Rick, we could,
we could do this again Let's, let's edit all that
Dan: that was it. You had all only
Sidey: you even joined in the
Dan: I did. Yeah. Well, you gotta remember, I mean, I'm, I'm here in a physical sort of sense,
Sidey: so read the watch out. I don't know exactly what it's about, but I'm guessing like people in their house getting spooked and shit.
Reegs: it's about somebody who's watching some people.
Sidey: Yeah. So I was at home downstairs on my to fucking pitch black, obviously, and something banged on the back door in the lounge. Genuinely. Right? And I was thinking to myself, I was a bit spooked, like, what the fuck was that? But I, you know, I was looking out, couldn't see anything.
Dan: the wind
Sidey: something. But it wasn't a wind, It was clearly like something had knocked on the door. Right? So, so we've got in the, in the lounge, there's the door out to like the backyardy bit, right?
Reegs: Go and wait. The misses up
Sidey: So I was like, fucking
hell That was and I did think I did think if, if this was the misses sat here on her own, she would fucking shit herself.
Like probably would if I was out foamy to come home, that sort of thing. And then it happened again and
again and I was like I know what this is. It's a fucking cat , It was, it was fucking murdering something outside and just, and like, while it was throwing it around, it was like smashing into the doorway.
And I went out and it was a fucking mouse, but it was too late cpr. Was,
Reegs: was the, the old adrenaline was going, Was it
Sidey: For me. Yeah. The first time. Yeah cuz it was, it was clearly not a just
Dan: And you are the end, end of the row there at the house. Just the woods beyond you, isn't
Sidey: Right So where so our house, Yeah. Like you say it is the end. Someone walked once from the garden. What past our house.
Dan: Da da.
Reegs: That's weird.
Sidey: what the fuck? It was a kid. So they'd obviously like either come round from the reservoir bit or climb down
and you're like okay that could have been a la murderer.
Yeah. So yeah. Good
Reegs: only hope so.
Sidey: So yeah, I watch the watcher and shit myself a bit more.
Dan: more. Yeah, that's what it does dude. Spooky movie. I need a bit Wind is like really howling out there tonight as well.
Might hear some knocking on on the, in the background and everything. It's not people murdering or cats cuz we don't have them
Reegs: I wouldn't say it's too spooky. I dunno if it's too, I don't wanna make you be or it's gonna be all spooky, but it's a cool, it's a good story. It's a really good story.
Sidey: we had a top five last week.
Can You remember
that? It was movies. We could pick this topic.
It was movies that were set over one single day or night. And uh the Letha Tron I do recall mentioning these last week, but they're so good. I thought we should do it again. The before Trilogy, which you've got hard on for
Dan Boiling point and Crank, which I think we did end up putting crank in.
Reegs: Well, he could have balling point as well. We
Sidey: Boiling point
is good And also Lock Lock. We, we do enjoy concrete. So Locke was a
Dan: and we, we did, we reviewed Locke as well, didn't we?
Sidey: we? We did. And Mel also come in strong with the before Trilogy. So that's you the leaf blower and
Dan: did that go? Did that go in?
Sidey: No, but we we got room I think
Dan: I think it
Sidey: we're putting in a trilogy. For before Trilogy. I haven't seen any of them, so I probably should Right. Should we crack on with this week's top five?
Dan: Do it
Sidey: Right. I went
for top five fruit, obviously this is a follow on from Cowork Orange and I was gonna try and attempt to do something fruit for the whole lot and I couldn't, couldn't think of a movie,
couldn't that warranted our time.
Reegs: We've already done tangerine, haven't we?
Sidey: Yes So and anything that I sort of thought might be okay, fell outside of the the rules of the
Dan: strict criteria.
Reegs: And we are nothing without, you
Sidey: we're sticklers for the rules. Yeah. So it morphed into colors after this, but this is through top five fruit in any. Interpretation of that that you want to put in. Yeah. So,
Reegs: I have gone exclusively for fruit though.
Sidey: Okay. That's, And that's fine.
Dan: is a cucumber of fruit,
Sidey: it absolutely is.
Dan: And and that absolutely works for me because this is Spinal Tap as one of the classic cucumber scenes.
Sidey: Derek Smalls
Dan: Derek Small is going through security and he's made that classic mistake when you put cucumbers down, your, your trousers is, Putting silver paper on it. Yeah. Um Because if you'd have just put cellophane on it
Sidey: why did it need anything?
Dan: Well, I suppose just so it,
Reegs: his package looked big.
Sidey: No, but why didn't it need to be
Dan: It just needed to be wrapped. Keep it fresh.
Sidey: Well, I suppose maybe he was gonna eat it
Dan: he might want to eat that later. So he'd slip this down the trousers to, to impress all those that impressed by
Reegs: You've been usurped by Andy Conley online, who's already
Dan: He's already done this.
Reegs: Yeah, he's already done this. The,
Dan: The, And Tron,
Sidey: ac DC Yeah, he's gone he's gone through that one. He's got a fewer mine are in his nominations.
Dan: Well on behalf of his both then it is a, a fantastic scene and of course the, it's cringy because they make him pull it out. And it, it is just obvious that he's, he's, you know, not as well endow as that huge cucumber would lead everyone to have believed.
And, and the fact that he's gotta do it in front of the security guard who's a woman, and the cue of people that are coming through is just another fantastic scene in a, in a brilliant film.
Sidey: I'm drinking a glass of wine and I've also got a couple of wine
Dan: Okay. Talk sideways.
Ah, I had, this
Sidey: the Alexander Pain movie, 2004. It's
Dan: It really is a good movie. Really
Sidey: thinking about maybe doing it as a,
weeker It's one of the first times I'd seen Paul Jim
I've only seen this once,
Sidey: And he's fucking brilliant in it. He's this kind of downtrodden, bit of a n do well, like kind of going nowhere. But he is a real wine enthusiast and so he is taken his buddy to wine country to like really get
into Molly and his mate is like fucking Neanderthal Thomas Hayden church and it, who just doesn't give a fuck.
He just little wants to like go womanizing and have
Reegs: He's just getting drunk, you know? He g Matt's going for like a spiritual journey amongst the wine and the will not drink Merlo and uh
Sidey: Yeah. And they, so we get a lot of discussion about the grapes and it's obviously a metaphor for what's, you know, a deeper thing going on.
But then I also had the movie bottle Shock. Have you seen this? Oh, it's really. This is really
Alan Rickman is in it. It's one of his, I would say last really good roles Chris Pine's in it and a few other people. It's the story of when the new world wines, so the
California wine and it's when the California wine from their vineyard
Dan: Chris Ply plays the son, doesn't he? That goes out to
Sidey: they beat the French wines at this international fucking
Dan: Yeah, this, this was a,
Sidey: it's, you know, it's a blind tasting and all the French drive fucking would not have it that they, cuz there's fucking tws snobs wouldn't have it, that like an American wine could possibly
Dan: I think there was like a chardonnay and a red wasn't there that were just exceptional.
Sidey: it obvious like it seems like it's made by a fucking wine enthusiast cuz it's slow. And you, you, this one, you actually see, you know, the process, this like treading the grapes and all that sort of stuff.
solid grape content in this one. That's a good movie. It's worth checking out.
Reegs: Yeah, it sounds good. I wanted to see how specifically I could describe two different films that both feature fruits. So here we go. A sexually frustrated Jewish teen with premature ejaculation issues.
Dan: apple pie, Right.
Reegs: with a gorgeous foreigner who watches them strip in the teen's own bedroom and at one point attempts to quench their sexual appetite by fucking some fruit which is both American Pie. And call me by your name.
Dan: Oh, wait. Right.
Sidey: is a bit in
Reegs: sexually frustrated. Jewish teen
Sidey: Yeah I'm trying to think of the fruit bit
He fucks a peach. Oh, of
Sidey: of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Forgot all about that.
Reegs: that. Well, how could you, And he's a foreign exchange army hams foreign exchange student. So there you go. That, that was that very specific thing described both those movies that also had fruit fucking in
Sidey: I still get very concerned about the apple pie because that filling can be fucking
Dan: Oh yeah.
That would need to be, you know, called down for a few hours before. You'd wanna put really even your finger in there.
Sidey: well, let alone anything else. And more sensitive.
Dan: Is it come back round to more? Well you've, you've taken my apple pie and you've taken the other one. I've got Jack Lemon though. Does he count?
Sidey: I said any way you want to interpret it, so Absolutely. That's fine.
Dan: Well, okay then the, the apartment, it's not a film that I get to talk about very much, but it's that film that had Jack Lemon in a bachelor pad and to, to keep it kind of going. All his mates chipped in and they're all using it, and they're all coming around and they're, you know, to bring a girl
Sidey: Was It Shag Padd
Dan: was, it was back to the, the shag pad. There was a tie on the door and
Sidey: everything, Okay Yeah
Dan: that's what it's all about, this film, and it was just becoming too much. He's like, Geez, you know, I want it for myself. At, at first it was, Wow, we got this place. Like, you know, we are all gonna go back there. But then it, it becomes a little bit too
Sidey: like when you're growing up and you know, the first one of your mates who gets their own place, you know, and that's the way everyone always
Dan: get. These are all like 30 though. These guys , they should know better. But yeah, it was like that.
Sidey: I remember I had some friends who were a bit older than me and when we were growing they, these three lads had an apartment right in the middle of town, so it was perfect for, you know, everyone would par back there. But they had a spare room as well.
And that was the, is like, like you describing the apartment, that was the kind of place where you could go
Dan: back. You could go back if you got lucky. Yeah. Talking about getting lucky weeks.
Reegs: Well vanilla is the only edible fruit of the orchid family. And it's also vanilla sky. Remember that one Cameron Cruise movie about Tom Cruise?
He's a sort of narcissistic and wealthy publicist who falls in love with Penelope Crews. But just as that relationship is beginning, they're crazed to lover. Played by Karen Diaz. Karen Diaz.
Sidey: Was it all a dream?
Reegs: She says, I swallowed your cu that means something before trying to suicide them both driving their car off a bridge.
And then when he comes around, he's horribly disfigured and reality is going a bit weird. Yeah, it kind of is all a dream. He's in a sort of lucid dream where after the accident he was kind of cryogenically frozen for 150 years, but there was a glitch in the Matrix, which
Sidey: I don't remember that movie being like
all Yeah, it is a bit like that. And it's a remake of an Alejandro Amina Bar 1997 movie. Open your eyes and I'm gonna be full hipster here and say, Watch that one first. Also stars Penelope Grooves and it's very good.
Sidey: Cool. Right. Okay. Nine and a half weeks. We must have all watched that movie. There's obviously the famous scene by the refrigerator where they sample various food stuffs, including some there's honey, there's some glazing goes on.
I just, What a fucking mess. Honestly.
Sidey: can't think of anything worse, frankly.
I would be, I would just be, I'd rather clean it all up to be honest than
Sidey: but I wouldn't even do it. I'm like, this is this fucking mess. Like
Dan: Oh, it's a young man's game, isn't it? Yeah.
Sidey: As a homeowner, I'm just thinking, God, no. What
Sidey: disaster stains
Dan: everywhere. We get that
Sidey: But no, that was Kim baster, God, Mickey Rock. I mean, look at the neck of
Ro now, and like Jesus man, he looks like, I dunno, barely human. Far be for me to comment on someone's appearance, but he looks like fucking shit.
Dan: Yeah. He's, he's not he's not peak walk. No.
Sidey: He was decent looking about then
Dan: he was, he was fantastic then Marvin Barry.
Yeah. Yeah. He was brother of Chuck and, and was in our Back to the future films that we like to wedge in . Yeah. In every possible top five. And of course he was yeah. It was Marty McFly then gets soon up on stage afterwards.
Sidey: Guess you weren't ready for that.
Reegs: Pumpkin head that was the debut of FX legend Sam Winston. You seen this one? It's not actually a pumpkin, it's a bit of a spoiler. But Lance Hendrickson, he plays Ed Harley, a widowed father whose son Billy is killed in like a motorbike accident thing with a gang of asshole teenagers where one Joel in one specifically so he does the sensible thing and gets a witch to conjure up a hideous demonic monster to kill him more.
So yeah, but that's pumpkin head. And similarly disturbing was Ali G into house
Reegs: which Was pretty funny in a way. If you understood the Wigga culture. That was briefly a thing of sort of middle class white people, you know, being a bit black. And there's This one's got Charles Dance as the nasty chancellor hoping to use Ali G as a porn in his plot to overthrow the prime Minister of Great Britain.
Very Game of Thrones, obviously, but Game of Thrones doesn't have Taiwan Lanster dancing in women's clothes as far as I recall. So only moderately funny, but yeah, there's a bit where he's eating this canopy in front of his love interest, any sort of stimulating the blueberry at the top with his tongue.
I'm doing things with my
Dan: Yeah doing all, just, they're only getting half the show here, aren't they? With that
Dan: Is Migo,
Reegs: go I don't know. It's gone a bit crazy the
Dan: It has done. I'm, I'm
Sidey: You Go for it Dan If you're if you're feeling that way Inclined
Dan: Very grateful. Wow,
Indeed. Snow White. I mean, it's the, it is the classic. When I first thought of fruit, actually I thought, boy, the poison apple. And it was quite interesting. Okay, so this is the story of Snow White and she has a poison apple.
And she's dead forever. Um There's a, a another, Well, okay,
Reegs: not how I remember that story.
Dan: not strictly, but apples in films cuz I was looking at particular types of fruit and how they might be used in film. And Apples often shows the dominance in in a film like cuz they, they crunch and it's just like, I'm not even listening to you.
You know, the villain will have it just as he's kind of contemplate, A lot of times they, they use it in in that and and oranges.
in a lot as well. So my next one that I'm gonna jump in and I'm, I'm gonna say
Reegs: jump in on yourself.
on myself if I have jump in on you, Jump aside, do it to myself.
No one's safe. The Godfather. And a lot of the time in, in this film in Godfather and I only just recently watched one and two something's gonna happen soon after you see the oranges. It is a precursor to, there's gonna be a big scene. Might be not, might be something important kind of gonna happen.
Or normally they're gonna snuff it. Yeah.
Sidey: well he's at the fruits stand when the drive-by happens and he gets gunned down and then he is just playing with his nephew, Is it his nephew, his
Dan: and he's got oranges
Sidey: the orange peel And He's like,
and then he gets up and I Sure we died with the orange peel still in his mouth. And really, you
Dan: playing around.
Sidey: Like a shitty way to go. Well, I
Dan: I don I think that's a great way
Sidey: It's just not how you expect like the Godfather to go down,
Dan: just, you know,
Sidey: in this backyard
Dan: in your bank yards, playing right to the end. Just playing. It's
Sidey: Not great for the little one.
Dan: No. But he would've run off.
Sidey: Speaking of, you mentioned the poisoned apple, another poisoned fruit. Yeah. Occurs in Raiders of the lost arc. His, someone attempts to poison him with a poison date.
Dan: Bad Dad's indie. He just catches him, didn't he?
Sidey: monkey takes it.
Reegs: What, what is a date?
Sidey: It's a dried
Reegs: And what is a prune?
Dan: It's a it's a wet date.
dunno But I I really do like dates.
Dan: Not a massive
Reegs: Oh yeah. No date with peanut butter or almond butter. Preferably Cut a date. Almond butter inside. No, man, it's fucking off the
Sidey: Yeah. Okay. I'll give it. Well, I think they're like nature's own sweets. They
Reegs: I tried to convince the children that boat,
Sidey: No I mean I into figs?
Sidey: Drive figs dried fruit. I'm into it. Dry fis, Dried apricots
Dan: Oh, I like the
Reegs: Dry. P man, dried pear. You've been in
Dan: Fresh figs are good. Apricots.
Sidey: I've got fig tree.
Dan: There we go.
Right. Well go figure.
Sidey: You're up quick before Dan
Reegs: Mr. Majestic, does anybody remember that? Charles Bronson?
Dan: Yeah. Okay. Long time ago
Reegs: they pissed him off over his watermelons.
And that is a great movie that I haven't seen in a long time. Bit seventies vigilantism from, from Bronson. And I did have another watermelon one, which I'm desperately trying to find. Oh, something else is completely different. Nothing watermelon about it is carts of fruit or fruit stands being hit
Sidey: Oh yeah or something Yeah
Reegs: which is basically any car chase
Dan: everyone you
Reegs: could think of.
But there are some good examples. Ronan has some pretty spectacular
Sidey: don't Waynes world, do Waynes World two do something with
Reegs: Yeah, that's what I was gonna say. Waynes world two. There's the, and of course you got the glass in the street and all that. Yeah. But any, basically any movie that's got a car chase in has probably crashed through a fruit stand at
Sidey: Trop Central Yeah.
Dan: The Jungle Book.
Dan: another kind of fruit filled film. But the scene I was thinking of is when Young Mogley is with King Louie. And he's got his banana
Sidey: a crown of bananas
Dan: of bananas on, on his head. Still a great movie. I watched the remake which, Oh, so kind of disappointed.
It wasn't much, much, much, much better, cuz I just thought it would've been the perfect
Sidey: it was potentially gonna be our nomination for next week's movie.
Dan: Right. Okay. Well, yeah, it, it just, I mean it just seemed, it was the perfect film for using CGI and, you know, all the, all the, and it just didn't work.
Sidey: It already great.
Sidey: There's nothing wrong with the animation
Dan: the, the animation brilliant. But I mean, it, I like the animation within the, the new
Sidey: It's clever, but it's
Dan: it's just, it was, but it just wasn't a strong enough plot and storyline. But but this one, the one that I was talking about, the, the cartoon version
Sidey: classic. Yeah.
Sidey: Big time. Okay. I've got a bit more tenuous one. I obviously I've said time and time again, I'm a huge, huge admirer of lost in translation and there is a scene where. Sky Han goes to meet Bill Murray, he's in a strip club and the song that is playing Fuck the Pain
Reegs: Mm-hmm. Fuck The Pain
By Peaches. Right? Ah. And so I don't really like that scene and I like that song, right? And I,
Sidey: so I was I was playing that, well, I've just playing my phone through the car like a Spotify playlist of light songs and that came on and I just wasn't really concentrating. So it's my daughter in the back and the misses and it's just like, suck in on my titties.
And I'm like, Oh shit. But, my computer thing and the car's really shit. So when you press Skip, it takes ages to skip. So it just got loads and loads and loads of the lyrics going. I'm like, Oh shit. Like panicking. I just had to turn the sound
Reegs: doesn't stop that as well,
Sidey: And it's fucked The pain away. Yeah.
Fuck the pain away. I'm like, So that was good. And also a great song
I should say. Great film
Reegs: There's some good made up fruit. There's the Sure Fruit in Star Wars episode two, Attack of the clones. The e like force cuts in front of her. Basically a pair. Let's be honest Willy Wonker and the Chocolate Factory had the Ssars berries and the BFG had SNAs cus, which I would assume are a fruit as well.
Yeah. Simpsons had tobacco.
Reegs: and South Park have the member berries remember them. They remember. They remember how great everything was in the past. Remember them? Member berries? Member member. Them
Sidey: I haven't seen that
Reegs: do you remember them?
Sidey: Well, Charlie in the chocolate factory always has Violet bow garden. She kind of turns into a blueberry, didn't
Dan: she? Yeah.
Dan: it takes two to Mango. Um Point break.
Reegs: said you weren't prepped this
Dan: week. No, I'm not. These uh Point break. Remember the scene,
Reegs: with a, with a fruit.
Dan: They come up to the window to Gary Busey trying to sell him oranges and he's going, You on oranges? No. No, we don't. And then they, the bank starts getting robbed and, and things and they just kind of run out and get him.
But yeah, it is
Sidey: Okay. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes was the first in the Killer Tomatoes
No, he didn't appear until Return of the Killer to Tomatoes. That was I dunno if who was absolute debut, but it was certainly one of his first Brose film roles.
He has a quite, Cause I've seen it, he has an incredible mullet in it. Really, really strong mullet game. Terrible fucking films. I mean, Awful.
Reegs: Do you remember there was a cartoon?
Reegs: Really crazy. Yeah.
Dan: Tim Roth was Mr. Orange.
Dan: I wedged that one in because I don't think there's actually much fruit in that film, but
didn't strike me as a particularly fruity movie to say,
Dan: but I was watching not long ago again, just one that I might be watching with my, my boy at some stage, cuz he's, he's heard of it and would like to see it and everything and it's just so violent.
Again, you know, the, the scenes in the back the car where he is bleeding out and everything and they just all kind of have that Mexican standoff and shoot each other, the ear chopping as they're playing that. Is it Steve Wright, the radio Stephen Wright. Yeah. Steve Wright
Sidey: Wright . Yeah.
Late Night Love Machine
Reegs: I got a few from the pod that we've reviewed, Parasite when an unemployed family become involved in the lives of the wealthy and glamorous, and we get another great hit from Bong June Ho.
And one of the ways they get the staff out of the house is to exploit the housekeeper's. Peach allergy.
Sidey: That's right. Yeah, yeah,
Reegs: Member And Tangerine that we watched, That was the, the movie about transgender sex workers. Yeah. That we watched.
Sidey: on an iPhone.
Reegs: Yeah. Filmed on three iPhone five.
Dan: was really decent.
Sidey: It Was good.
Reegs: And it had Ziggy from the Wire in it.
Sidey: That's right. Yeah.
Reegs: Yeah. Yeah And what other ones? There were a few that we'd
Sidey: Well James and the Giant Peach, that's like at least a trilogy of peach
Dan: Pineapple Express.
Reegs: If you remember the narrative mess that we watched, the Adventures of Buckaroo Bansi across the eighth dimension.
There's a mid in the middle of the chase. You see, you go through Peter Weller's lab and there's a watermelon in a vice. And he says, Why is a watermelon in there? And he says, I'll tell you later. And then they never,
Sidey: They'll never tell you
Reegs: mention it again. So yeah, there was that too. What have we got any from the uh
Um Mel has some strong ones and I dunno if any of us have seen this, but I know I haven't. Jude, he does, he performs some art. I think he drops strawberries into a tin of paint because there's a gift that she's attached the Twitter And the film's across the universe, I don't know it she, she thinks we make a great mid weeker, so I feel like we should
definitely do justice to that
Dan: Is it a Beatles thing?
Reegs: It must be with that type or surely
Sidey: she's, she, Mel says, If you haven't seen this movie, it would great. Make a great midweek if you like the Beatles. So
Dan: Yeah, I think I have, I think I have seen this one. Okay.
Sidey: And then um watch
Dan: watch it again.
Reegs: She also did the tomatoes scene thought. Yeah.
Sidey: Eating like a fucking horrible pig.
And I hate noisy eaters, Meag. Um and he's just chairing down on like a, like lading it on a plate of food while everyone's fucking dying and getting ready for war. And he's
Reegs: and he's eating them tomatoes and they're all like spraying, spraying out everywhere. And I said, on the, on the tweets reminds me of my daughter was learning to eat and she would just eat and cooking like that and they would
Dan: just, Well,
Sidey: um yeah.
I also had my, probably the last one I think that I wanted to mention is the Wickerman and the whole drive of the plot is that they have to do this offering because of last year's crop failed.
So there we go. Right. So let's put our nominations in. Daniel,
think I'm probably gonna go for, for Snow White.
Reegs: I'll go for Vanilla Sky.
Sidey: Okay. I'm gonna put in bottle shock cuz it's a real good movie and I would like if possible. And then one from online
Reegs: and the ad loaded nominations, What did he put?
Sidey: Acdc? Yeah, he Jungle Book Spinal Tap that you mentioned Dan. The Grapefru in the face Is that James Cagney.
He smashes a grapefruit in his Mrs Face having a row. And
Reegs: What's that?
Sidey: It's the Public Enemy
Reegs: Yes. Oh, that's a good one.
Sidey: that's a great shout.
Reegs: How'd you feel about grapefruit? You into that?
Do you know what drink I really like is grapefruit So instead, you know, sportsman's special is like orange I like, I like go direction with it. So the Brit vic, you know, the bottles, two of them
Dan: I think it's one of those fruits I'm, I've got a little more into as, as I've got older,
Sidey: gimme the citrus, like the sour of the better as
Reegs: I'll tell you what's fucking pointless.
Sidey: No, it's good. Especially juice form grenadine that will
Dan: big in
Reegs: when you buy it, you buy a pomegranate and you throw 90% of it or more, 95% of
Dan: it. You put it in
Reegs: spend ages to
Dan: put it in water, and all the bits float up
Sidey: Yeah. And I did see
Reegs: it's bullshit. And you, you're all middle class people with kids named tarquin.
Reegs: eating pomegranate and shaved, fucking asparagus And Parmesan.
Dan: Is it recording?
Sidey: Big time.
Dan: Wow. That means it's time for us to review this, this film you recommended.
Sidey: Do you wanna talk about our snack selection first?
Dan: Probably There, it's, yeah. Well, okay. I'll, I'm gonna go in with a big dog straight off. The ones that the real hit and it's the the Sour Patch kids and the sour flavored,
Sidey: This is the fruit selection. You can get cola, but they're not as strong and you can. A watermelon flavored the fucking worst flavor of sweet ever.
Watermelon. I'm this like you are with pomegranate. I as I am to the watermelon.
can fuck off.
Reegs: What about the, the actual fruit though?
Sidey: No I hate it
Dan: it These are good. We doubled down on Cadbury's carrot milk buttons.
Reegs: other The buttons are available. They
And we do have the other buttons, actually we've got some orange ones
Sidey: and we have a pack of Fox's, cream crunch biscuits. You know the ones they were on offer at Morrison's on the way around here.
And what I've discovered is the best way to eat those is if you remove, if you are able to twist and cleanly remove one layer of biscuit, but do that with another biscuit. Then you can put those two half with the cream together. You
Dan: You double down on the
Sidey: the cream.
double down on cream filling.
Dan: And I've seen that happen twice tonight.
Sidey: It is sensational. Highly recommended
Dan: Nobody's ever eaten one in one whole go though, have
Sidey: Oh, I could do that. No bother. And that segues very, very into this week's movie, which is red or r dot e
Sidey: tricky spelling on that one. And this is easy to confuse. So I'm particularly mentioned that because Johnny Utah blundered he did a Dan and started watching the wrong movie last week.
Dan: yeah. Tom Hanks, I
careful with this one
Reegs: and Unforgettably, Meag did it in the very early days of the podcast, watched the Indian version of Chef. It's amazing. Why don't we have stuff like that? I mean, that was good stuff.
Sidey: This is, this is the so it stands to retire extremely dangerous. And it's Bruce Willis. This is 2010. So that's the one. If you wanna watch along to what we think about it, that's the one to look out for.
Dan: Yeah, this is I dunno, go on.
Let's start. It's slightly the expendable to something I guess.
Sidey: okay, so I know you hate,
that film so Dan's like cards on the table before we even got
Reegs: is not really the expendables because this is Helen Muren and John Malcolm and Brian Cox. They're not really the same as
Sidey: but I know where it is
Dan: aging tough guys trying to kick ass.
I mean it's right there in the tunnel. Tired and extreme dangerous. So it starts off, I guess if I, I watch, So what's happened was sometimes I will, if I get time and I was off last week so I was able to watch this early in the week. My memory is like fucking si these days. So I can't exactly remember the first
Dan: but I know why.
Dan: I know why as well that he can't, it's because this is one of those films, that you will forget like 30 seconds after the credits roll.
You'll just think, what have I just done? But the, the bit that is unforgettable is Willis's name Frank Moses. I think that's a strong name. Yeah,
Sidey: Is good name,
Dan: strong name.
Reegs: And his alarm clock goes off. That's how it starts. And it's classic bald Bruce. And he gets up dressing gown on pads around his house, takes out his tablets, you know, just old man shit works out. Then calls about his pension.
And he's who wants very like, immediately obvious that he's just phoning for a chat.
Sidey: It's, He makes some sort of, they
Reegs: they talk about
Sidey: not happened No he ca he's got the checks
Reegs: cuz he's, because I thought, oh, that's fruit
Sidey: that's right. Yeah. Yeah.
Reegs: going in avocado. And also we know that's completely impossible as well to grow in avocado. Cannot, cannot be done,
Dan: Cam by Frank, but he's a
Sidey: got the check that he's phoning about and he.
Faces it and says something's not happened. As an excuse to get into a conversation with this girl who's far farty
Dan: we, we learn that this isn't the first time he's, he's called this girl and they, their conversation goes beyond work and they start talking about stuff they've been up to, or a play that she was
Reegs: a terrible spy romance novels cuz she kind of dreams of big adventure. She asks him if he's ever been to Chili and he, you know, Twinkly eyed Bruce.
Sidey: Yeah. I decapitated someone
Reegs: And it's, he tells her at one point, actually, you know what, I'm gonna be in Kansas City and they decide to meet up and I, I kind of fall for stuff like this cuz they've been talking on the phone and I know you are an old romantic like me, Dan, and they're gonna meet up.
Sidey: Did you not?
immediately think that's weird?
Reegs: Yeah, of course I
Dan: Well it, she works at this cuz he's a, a retired c
Sidey: Black ops as well.
Dan: assassin, but she works at
Reegs: we don't know that yet,
Dan: the pen. But doesn't she work for the agency's pension?
Reegs: Well, she just works at a pension
Dan: basically. Oh, right. I thought it was the CIA's
Reegs: No, she's an outsider. Dan pulled into a web of,
Dan: I thought she had some kind of
Sidey: a world that she doesn't belong
Dan: and, and she, she does anyway, she gets pulled into it because all too late she does meet him and get pulled into danger.
Reegs: Yeah. One night he can't sleep and he goes downstairs to the kitchen and as we watch him doing his old man shit, we see armed men in the shadows trailing him with sophisticated weaponry like that gun that can look round corners.
Yeah. Well, I dunno if it's the razor, but you know that one
Reegs: they've got sight and it can look around it and anyway, they rushed to kick the door in, but he's not there. He's behind them in one of the two doors that those fucking SWAT team really should have been covering when he snaps one guy's neck and injects the last guy with some sedative thing he was carrying.
And then having dispatched all these guys, it takes a pistol, puts a pan on the stove with a load of bullets in it, and smashes a hole in his basement to reveal a stashed ca of stuff. So we suddenly like, Oh, right, he's serious something. This is where we're finding out who he
Sidey: Jason Bne, but like fifth or whatever.
Reegs: And then the bullets in the pan start over. Heating and firing a gunshots and the bad guys revealed themselves and they fire endlessly at the house Absolutely endlessly. Like
Sidey: To the point of
Dan: still going on now.
Reegs: Yeah. I think on, I've put in here it's the most bullets I think I've ever seen in a movie.
Sidey: It reminded me of the third matrix film with just like endless shell casings hitting the
floor. It just goes on and on and on. Like
Reegs: And then he follows up with a grenade at the end just to, anyway, and they sweep the house and suddenly Bruce is there dispatching one guy with a shotgun in Slowmo. And you see the flash in their silhouettes cuz this is based on a, a comic.
It's DC Comics. Did we say that? Probably.
Sidey: No we didn't. But it is
Reegs: and then Superman and Black Adam turn up Yeah. And they do that sort of firing through walls that they do in video games, which is pretty cool. Anyway, they're no match for Bruce and he takes 'em all down
Dan: Pretty much, yeah. And he then walks out the house. Fortunately none of the neighbors have woken up.
Sidey: no no one's like baton eyelid.
Dan: No. And he, he's off He's gone like black again, isn't he? He's gone undercover. He's,
Reegs: well he is gone to Kansas city to Sarah's apartment.
Dan: Yeah. he, he ends, he ends up as she walks in.
Sidey: She's had a shitty day. She's just been on a date She's like canned that guy.
She hasn't invited him in and she's sort of moaning
Dan: and she kind of walks past him, looks at him and carries on going and then reverses back and recognizes his voice. And as he's explaining she's trying not to freak out. But she does and he ends up kidnapping her. Yeah. And putting her in the back of the car and driving quite a long distance.
And she's just kind of tied up with duct tape over her mouth and he's just telling her, Oh, well, you know, we'll look back on this and laugh. Or some such
Dan: Yeah, it's quite quite the heartthrob scene.
Sidey: I mean it's a hundred percent abduction.
And he takes her to a motel, I think, and then ties her up in front of the television and just let, he allows her to watch the TV while he goes out.
Reegs: in, keeps saying stuff like, like you were saying, like, Oh, you know, I wish we hadn't had to meet like this. And
Next up we see Karl Urbans, William Cooper. He's like planting a crime scene with evidence, I think, isn't he?
Sidey: he? He looks so weedy when he is
Sidey: Yeah. Like Billy Butcher.
Reegs: Or with the dread helmet on.
Sidey: Yeah, it's
Reegs: He's talking to his wife about his son being bullied, I think, and all this domestic shit.
I'll pick up milk, but he's also got a guy that he's staging the suicide of by hanging. Which is pretty weird because this guy ends up kind of being the hero of this movie in a way. So that is pretty weird how he's introduced. He gets a text to meet someone in 10 minutes and he gets into a limo and his target is frank.
And this is where we find out a bit of his backstory. Like you were saying, a retired analyst for the cia, but there's he goes to see Morgan Freeman.
Matherson. Yeah. he's introduced getting a nurse to waggle her ass in front
Sidey: of Yeah He just pers
Reegs: he curves on it's, he's supposed to be lovable rogue rather than sex pest.
Sidey: it's a sex pest, I thought.
Reegs: Yeah. And Matheson's there. Yeah. And so basically he Matheson finds out from his old CIA contacts that the team that came to get him was like a South African Mery team and they're suspected of killing a reporter. Stephanie Chan and she had a list as well and all this stuff, right?
Sidey: Yeah. It was all kind
Dan: Morgan, Morgan Freeman plays this kind of, I, you know, his. Morgan Freeman, voice wise, older guy.
Sidey: He's terminally ill, isn't
Dan: he? He's Termin. You get that quite
Sidey: cause He says they're gonna come for you.
Sidey: it I'm gonna die
Dan: we, know. Yeah, we know that. He's, he's gonna die hero, isn't he?
At some point soon. He's,
Reegs: Well, Matheson
Dan: the way he would've wanted
Reegs: it. Yeah. He also finds out that the hit was sanctioned by the cia and then an assassin sneaks into his room and was sort of led to believe that Matheson is being killed,
Sidey: but it doesn't happen on screen, so you're kind
Reegs: And Bruce and Cooper have a bit of a, like, car chasing stuff and it ends with the bit that was in the trailer where as the car is hit, Bruce walks steps out of it and fires his gun and shoots straight into the thing.
But the car's kind of spinning round. Yeah, that was cool. Yeah,
Sidey: that was cool. Dad, look at dad's face.
Reegs: And then they go to New York to follow up on the, the story about the reporter and they meet her, his, her mother, the elderly Mrs. Chan, and she gives them a postcard and it looks like a phone number. It's quite a convolute con convoluted plot, but it's not, It's a Harvard Library book
Sidey: which he knows of that.
Reegs: Yeah, he knows it off the top of his head. Yeah. And then he speaks some Chinese to her to prove he can do that as well. And in the library, this is where they discover the list of names. And everybody on the list of names has started to be killed, including somebody called Marvin Bogs.
Reegs: Wade Pro.
But uh that is Malcolm Bitch
Sidey: Maich. Markovich Markovich. Yeah. So they go certainly Everglades, isn't it? Yeah. Then they, they sort of rock up on this like pontoon and they're walking and he's like, Just be careful, you know? And he came, It's pretty cool way.
He he Like springs up he's in this sort of spring loaded contraption where he just flies up, you know, Armed with a crossbo.
Yeah. camouflage outfit. And he's, for me, the highlight of
Reegs: didn't vibe
Dan: absolutely phoned this in.
Sidey: oh, when I say highlight, I mean the bar was pretty low.
Dan: well, the, let's, let's try, and
Reegs: he's he was the subject of CIA mind control and was given daily doses of LSD for 11 years.
But you'd think that would make him a bit funnier than he is in this . He's got a pink elephant that he carries around the spoiler that is really easy, like is obviously a fluffy elephant.
And then oh, pig. And then later he pulls a fucking rocket launcher out of it.
Dan: Yeah. He's he's bit of a nut job kind of character, isn't he?
Sidey: he's like the Murdoch.
Reegs: Yeah, Exactly. And he's paranoid and there's a helicopter flying around and he gets the number plate of it, which becomes important for the next scene when they go and find another name on the list. This Gabriel Singer guy. And as they're talking, he, he mentioned, Oh, that I once flew out to Guatemala and I took this guy out there, this pencil pushing dickhead and we got, we retrieved something and bought it back.
Oh, what did you retrieve? Not what. Oh, now we're looking for somebody else. Could it be Julian McMan, the character they mentioned a bit earlier. Anyway, the vice president and then there's a sh Gabriel gets sniped from fucking miles away.
Dan: Yeah, that's right.
Reegs: And then there's a shootout. Yeah. In some shipping containers.
Like Frank Comically blows this guy to bits and
Sidey: Yeah he really does.
Reegs: There was a business woman, a sort of middle-aged business woman that Malkovich had assaulted at the airport earlier. Like, Oh, isn't he paranoid? That's funny. When he assaults people. But it turns out she actually was, and she's got a rocket launcher and she fires the rocket launcher, and then Malcolm shoots the fuse
Sidey: Did he not like that bit?
Reegs: Yeah. Brilliant. I did like that. It was probably the high point,
Sidey: I, I've getting the impression Dan wasn't a huge fan of, of that.
Just that bit. Just that bit with the Rock
Reegs: Lord. Oh, there's a few bits in this, but also the
Dan: that was obvious it was gonna happen though. No, right. That she got a, He waited so long, he's just gotta shoot it right down the middle.
it just looked like cool the way it was
Dan: it was it. It was totally
Reegs: I think probably right, the action stuff, but then the, some inventive stuff like this and, but then what we haven't probably described is like the comedy is like punctuated by this sort of weird nineties like Seinfeld type ding type soundtrack.
Really weird and all. None of the jokes really work. But
Sidey: no not really
Reegs: Marvin baseball bats are grenade to some PORs Schmo as well. Yeah. Anyway. And they escape pretty gloriously. Silly. This scene, I did like that.
Dan: They, they move, they move on then, and Richard Dreyfus becomes
Reegs: Oh wow Not, not, not yet.
Sidey: Drefus, however you pronounce his name.
Reegs: No, cuz before Dreyfus we get fucking Logan Roy from succession Brian Cox as the Russian ambassador. The love of Helen Me's life that we'll meet later as well.
Dan: Oh, of course. Yeah.
Reegs: So he, he helps them break into the cia.
Sidey: Easily done.
Reegs: Yeah. And ever. Then he has a big ruckus with,
Dan: He's Ivan, isn't he? Because he's Russian.
Reegs: Yeah, exactly. Yeah,
Reegs: And his brother was it was the only other one. Was it Eagle or something? I can't, Yeah, Eagle. His cousin was Eagle, the butcher who Frank once killed. And they go undercover and there's a weird scene where the retina scan thing and she just goes on the floor pretending to look Looking for a contact
Sidey: It's like a blowjob joke
Reegs: Yeah, exactly. It's really weird
Dan: All the
Reegs: And she has to pretend to be called squa.
Dan: Yeah. Wow.
And all the time she's with him because she feels her life safer with him.
Dan: her of that.
Reegs: Yeah. Yeah, there's, that's what it says here. The Seinfeld music kicks in and tells you how funny the scene is. which I always love that in a movie. And they meet Ernest Bog nine.
Sidey: Who I was
convinced must have been dead. Cuz it seemed like he was old when he was in Bonanza and stuff. Yeah. But no, he was still going strong
Reegs: He was old in Air Wolf.
Dan: And, and we had already had the scene where they don't say it, but Joe's.
Reegs: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We've
Dan: Lord. I mean, again,
Reegs: to come back into the movie,
Dan: Of course he is. I mean, is nobody believed he was dead? Who were they thinking they were falling? It was, it was terrible.
Reegs: They, they have the fight, so Cooper and Cooper, which is Karl Urban's character, and Frank Moses end up having a fight in the CIA building after he's been to see Borg nine and got the file.
And they do that thing that they do in movies where they clearly imply that one guy is broken, another guy's arm, like he's got it in a lock or something and there's some move and you hear like, like that and you're like, Well he is, that means he's broken his up. And then he walks off and he's like, Oh, oh, that was a bit
Reegs: painful when he clicked my bones out of place. And then Matheson gets them, That's in the, in an ambulance. I think math is in rescue room. Hi, I'm Morgan Friedman. I wasn't dead after all.
Dan: That's right, Joe, are you son of a bitch, Joe? Are you still alive?
they patch him up and go to see Victoria. Helen Mien?
Dan: Who's got a massive gun. And she's the one that, that's kind of the heavy artillery. And they devise a plan how they're gonna take down the vice president who is now,
Reegs: we haven't got to that yet. We've still gotta go meet Richard Dreyfus and pr. Morgan Freeman has to pretend he's like the Tim Pot dic, head of a dictatorship.
Dan: complicated plot.
Sidey: He looks like he's wearing an outfit from the Sergeant Pepper album.
Dan: yeah, yeah, he does. I think he is
Sidey: Ringo's one,
Dan: again. He's, you know, he, he's dressed as. A kind of African warlord, I guess, who goes to see Dryfus as a make a deal to get into the house.
Reegs: Drive First has
Dan: they take in prisoner.
Reegs: He's got, Yeah, exactly. He's got this thing where he is got like a. Room in his house. It's like completely bug proof and swept daily and all that thing. And so, and he knows the FBI are outside. So he plays a, a sort of vinyl recording of him giving a, a lecture, which skips, Why doesn't he use, why does he use vinyl?
Sidey: it's an audio file.
Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. I guess, I guess. And that
Sidey: it that implies that he's got his
own vinyl pressing equipment record his own
Sidey: was two, it was 225 grand when I last inquired about vinyl pressing equipment.
Reegs: It's a lot, it's a lot of money,
Sidey: but I suppose for a guy like him, it, you know,
Dan: Is nothing Peanuts
Sidey: chmp change
Reegs: Anyway they, he, this is where we find out the big reveal from is his Dunning, Is that his name?
Whatever this guy, Drefus character, he's like, Oh, I was the nerdy pencil pusher. And we went out there to go and get Julia Mima, the vice president. He went ape shit and killed, This is the story. The vice president went ape shit and killed everybody in a Guatemala village, and then they had to get him out.
That's the story
Dan: that, that's the story. And now he's running to be president
and, and so Bruce needs to, if he's a true patriot, then he needs to be able to respond to that and make sure it never happens. Yeah. So he gets his team together. Joe Ivan Ellen Miran.
Reegs: Yeah. They, at some point Sarah gets abducted and so that's
Dan: Oh, they've got her as, as change. Yep. That's been taken. Do you know how that happened? Side?
Sidey: Oh, I can't remember.
Sidey: Do you know what? This wasn't a great movie, was
Dan: Well, just to wrap up, what happens?
Sidey: Helen, me get shot,
Reegs: She fires the most enormous machine gun. If you're a fan of seeing like a sort of stage and cinema legend in a ma in a stunning white dress firing a
she wanted to wear that dress to the Oscar.
And she's firing the biggest machine. One of the biggest machine guns I've ever
Dan: mean, water cast. This, this film's got, you know, I mean, it's, it's really
Reegs: if there's not, you're dead inside. If you can't on some way, enjoy that.
Sidey: Yeah. I mean that is the kind of um niche thing of women shooting guns, isn't it?
That people get her into that.
Reegs: I don't just mean, I just mean because of who she is
Sidey: Oh no Yeah no I'm with you But that but that. but separately
Dan: Well, she's shot in the gut and there's the blood stain appears
Sidey: And she does dress Yeah she she does the, I'm, I'll just slow you down,
Dan: Yeah, I'll
Sidey: Yeah See you later
Dan: Go, go. You, you've gotta go. And, and they, they let her go. Ivan then turns up on the other side of the door with the key to able to let her in, or a knife.
He uses knife and, and the next day she's chipper.
Sidey: She's, sounds Yeah she's all right
Dan: fine. Walked it off. Um Yeah, she's just it's sending the, in the dress out
you know, the, the plot is sort of coming to a, it's climax if you like. So we've got this whole big swish do, and this is where it all goes down. I think they even have that trope of the fight that that ends up happening goes through like the kitchen of the I hate that.
Reegs: Outside Marvin runs at the president with a suicide vest on. That was, you know, you were supposed to enjoy that. And , eventually they go to that power station slash abandoned warehouse that's been in literally like every movie.
Sidey: I was exactly gonna that name Robocop is my first one,
Reegs: And there's a swap deal proposed for Sarah who was abducted and blah, blah, blah.
And then a white limo turns up with some huge guy in a machine gun who then gets sniped. Frank negotiates for Sarah, his life for hers. He confesses, he tore up all the pension checks so he could talk to her. And she says she what lovely moment of romantic something And then it basically, the big reveal is that Dunning was the mastermind all along.
Richard Dreyer. Did anybody care at this point? Dunning Dunning
Sidey: I was I was kind of willing it to end. I'd say
Reegs: Julia McMan, who I think might be a piece of shit in real life, I don't know if we've done the
Sidey: it Vincent's daughter
Sidey: I thought
Reegs: Julian McMan, he, the vice president isn't actually, he's sort of a piece of shit, but he's in Be Truth to the whole guy.
Dunning's been orchestrating me the whole time. And then Mavi callously kills him
Dan: But yeah, I mean, Frank Moses just goes crazy one last time. Doesn't he manages with a, I don't know, a toothpick or something to take everyone down.
Sidey: Then they drive off.
Sidey: And they passionately snug.
I, I don't know what this says about me, but I really didn't Just like he's too old
Reegs: It's weird. It's weird.
Sidey: And they just watch, like Malcolm just watches them while they're properly toing each
other. Yeah. And Malcolm just tells them like some old Perth. And I was like, I don't like this. I'm uncomfortable.
Reegs: Yeah. And, and he Stockholm syndrome her
Sidey: the loving
Yeah. A hundred percent.
Reegs: So anyway,
Sidey: this was like completely toxic relationship. Like she should be out of
Dan: there Yeah.
Sidey: bad news
Reegs: And then we get like a sort of, Few months later type thing where it's like Ivan mentions a small nuclear problem in mold over and they tease a sequel that they did actually fucking make. And then the final she scene shows Frank Wheeling Malkovich.
She's dressed as a woman carrying a nuclear bomb in his lap somewhere in the field. In a
Sidey: way That's right Yeah, yeah, yeah. And
they're getting shot at by some people, by about a thousand people who are probably 20 yards behind them. Yeah. And no one hits him.
Dan: 'em. That's right.
Sidey: Yeah. Did you know they'd don a sequel? Danny, you, you, you excited about that? I
Dan: I honestly, this is just the absolute shit I hate. This is just Hollywood saying, We're just gonna throw all these people at you. It doesn't matter what, You'll just eat it up.
Sidey: It did have a bit of that about it.
Dan: you'll eat it up. You'll enjoy it. And then we'll do it again cuz you love it. And we'll just make loads of money.
But, but made money. I bet
Sidey: the budget fair was 58 mil and it's all gone on the the ensemble because there's nothing's been spent on the fucking script or anything like that.
And it made 200 mil. So
Dan: fuck it. 200 million. I mean, no wonder they've made another one. And it's absolute dribble.
Reegs: It's, it's kind of fun to see these people.
Dan: all been done be, I mean, you just, Yeah. It's good to see these people just wish they were in something better. You know? You just wish that they were doing
Sidey: something. Everybody it's there's a couple of seat, like when he steps out the car and you are like, It's preposterous, but it's also cool. It looks cool. Yeah. And the shooting, the, the the RPG was cool as well, but generally speaking, like they were the, the highlights.
I did kind of get a kick outta Mag, but probably because everything else was so
Dan: it's, no storytelling is
Reegs: I didn't like male cvi. The comedy is pretty fucking dreadful.
Dan: Malov Itz just phoned this one.
He was barely there.
Sidey: I just found like the whole relationship right from the get go of her and Bruce weirs just like put me off.
I was like, Don't like
Reegs: Yeah. It's a bit creepy. You're right.
Sidey: And it, it just like, I nominated knowing that it would probably wouldn't, it wasn't gonna be a great movie, but it might be. It'll be fun. It just wasn't even that fun. And it was just
Dan: kind, It was insulting
Sidey: It was just,
it was like you were watching the tail end of everyone's career just like
falling off a
Dan: Yeah, it was just like, Oh, we're gonna take your money. You're just gonna wanna watch us Put it all together, is a bullshit story nobody really believes in.
Reegs: And it's sad now
Dan: and we're gonna go and do an, and we're gonna go and do another one. Yeah, I mean they can all do better than this. They can all do better films in this.
Sidey: Well, they all have done.
That's the, that's the crime, you know. Have I got any interesting trivia for you? Not really.
Reegs: I'm pretty charitable, I would say I gave pretty favorable reviews to things like GI Joe Snake Eye Origins and Hellboy and some other, like, you know, things that other people consider to be garbage.
But this, you have to reach pr I think the comedy is so bad.
Sidey: Yeah. It's not great. I mean, all I could say is there's those, like couple of bits where the action would sort of entertain me for a little while. All I would say is I wouldn't, I'd be hard pressed to recommend this to anyone really. It's long as well. It's way too long. It's two hours.
It should be a 90 minute movie at best. much, padding.
Dan: There was about 15 minutes. I reckon if you condense that two hours down to, to something, you go, Oh, that was some good,
Reegs: know, I consider that a fairly worthwhile return on investment. To be fair,
Sidey: I don't think the stuff that I was talking about was 15 minutes
Sidey: a minute , but yeah. Let's just call it a charitable misfire.
Reegs: Mm-hmm. Should we watch the sequel?
Hazar. You finally watched the kids' content.
Dan: Yeah. Well you caught me watching it as
Sidey: you were watching it when I got here.
Dan: And first thing that struck me actually was the animation style. Really? Like that kind of,
Sidey: Did the cast
Reegs: The cast, just when the names came up, I was like, What?
I couldn't believe it. You've got Michael Douglas, Adam Divine, Eddie Iard Keenan Keenan, Michael Key. Diane Keaton. Jeffrey Wright.
Sidey: Jeffrey Wright, yeah. And John Totoro. And Tracy Morgan, some other people. Rob Paulson wasn't that Meatloaf's character in Fight Club and also that horrible piece of shit.
Ellen Degen, her name flashed up.
Reegs: a producer. She's
Sidey: the producer of it. Yeah. So yeah, strong cast and I think the first voice you hear is Michael Douglas. I don't really get all that because like I'm not thinking about who's doing the voice when I'm watching the thing you like. It's different if it's live action, you see them.
Sidey: give a fuck who's doing the voice
Dan: you are used to those
Sidey: Like I'm supposed to be like blown away just cuz it's someone famous reading of the stuff out. I don't care. Just do it. Well, I mean, making any difference to me. Anyway, we we're thrown straight into the world of Dr. Zeus and it very authentic looking, you know, it's exactly how I thought it might look.
You know, it's all the art from the books, it's recreated. we'll be waiting for season one episode one.
Reegs: Yeah. But it does actually slightly subvert it because like you say, it does start with that very typical Dr.
Zeus rhyming. Yeah. The style that you know, and the intro music and that fabulous cast that we were talking about. Intro music was horrendous. Did you, did you recall?
Reegs: Yeah. But then it kind of morphs into something a bit more sort of self-aware, doesn't it? Just for a minute. As our protagonist who's surfing a kite is then suddenly dressed as an ninja, it's not quite what you're expecting.
And then it kind of sounds like the narrator is almost adlibbing as well.
Sidey: He's trying to break into a zoo. Yeah. And steal an animal. Do you remember what it was
Dan: right. A no. A good
it? Yeah. It's a, it's like we are like a port manto here, don't yeah, it was a, it was a sort of hybrid animal. They chuck in a suitcase. A briefcase.
Reegs: Yeah. It's Berg Zoo, isn't it? Berg?
Sidey: Yeah. And It's Sam. I am Sam, I am Does the, the Fevery.
And Guy, Am I That's Michael Douglas's
Reegs: a struggling inventor. Yes. He's going to Snz Co. Where he is registering for the meeting of a lifetime.
Sidey: Everyone's got these incredible inventions Yeah. That they're putting on display for whomever it is.
Reegs: got like an anti umbrella that rains on the inside. A tree stump druer. An automatic finger crosser.
Sidey: yeah, that was a good one. And he's just like, Oh shit. You know, he, he's really like, put upon and he's like, Oh no, everyone's better than mine. And he is just like, Wait, he's last to get caught. So very two like polar opposites,
Reegs: And he has to go and talk to the bean counters and pencil pushers and they are literally counting beans and pushing pencils.
Sidey: Yeah. Like that guy just rolling the, the pen back and forth.
Reegs: How do the two things meet up? Oh, Sam, I am Is, he's like, they go to a diner, don't they?
Sidey: Yeah. It's a, Well, it's a case of misplaced bag,
It's a classic thing. And he grabs the wrong suitcase because they're both, you know. Oh, he says they're briefcase buddies. right. And he tries to explain that, you know, it's a really common briefcase, but he is not having it.
It means they're best friends for life.
Sidey: Well, it
Reegs: this is where Sam orders green eggs and ham. I mean, you know, and they do bring out some green eggs and some green
Sidey: What makes it green? Just that, that universe, it's green. Is it, is special preparation.
were you a fan of the Dr. Zoo's literature as a child?
Dan: I like the cartoons when they would come on. Not, they didn't really have the books or
Sidey: I remember having the books about and, and kind of reading them, but not being that blown away by any of it.
Dan: But I like the cartoons.
I like they, they were very creative and, and just the way
Sidey: I don't like any of the live action thing, like the Jim Carey stuff.
Dan: No, no. I never got on with, with any of that. I think this is a bit of a return to form for, for Dr. Zes world
Reegs: Well, even though you can't remember it and you watched it an hour
Dan: again? Yeah. Well I can't remember what they were saying going for.
I was, had one eye on it to be
Reegs: honest. It's, it's part of a, it seems to be part of a much longer story cuz really there's only you know, at the end of the reveal is that you had the tricker off in the
Sidey: Yeah He the guy Ammi opens the briefcase slash suitcase thing at home and the huge like animal thing comes out and you're like, it's a bit of a cliff angle. Cause you dunno it's gonna get ma death or,
Dan: stops. So it's gonna run
Reegs: So what else is, you know, Sam could be lying about loads of stuff. That little shit.
Dan: I, I think this is the kind of thing I will watch again with my daughter and I'll watch that first episode again from her because it is one of those cartoons that is gonna carry on and gonna tell a story through the, the seasons I, I'm assuming so maybe I'll,
Sidey: It's Well there's two seasons of it.
There's 24 episodes I, yeah, I watched it on my own and I did, I have to admit, I did only nominate it purely because it had a color in the title. So we've kind of morphed from fruit into color. So we had and now had green. So that was why I picked it. But as soon as it came on, I was kind of struck by, actually, this looks not, not so bad.
It looks fairly decent. I could imagine getting into it. And then I, what I was struck by when I was doing a bit of reading around It's the most expensive animated series. 6
million 6 million per
Reegs: Wow. It does look good though.
Sidey: It does look good, but I would, it doesn't look like the visually, like something that's cost Emma. It's purely just to get those names on the
Reegs: names are incredible. I dunno, maybe other episodes have got other famous people, Diane Keaton, you know,
Sidey: Yeah, I mean there was, there was more people
that came in
Dan: 24 episodes?
Sidey: I think there's 12. 12 per season. Yeah. I just think that's a lot. That's a fucking lot of money.
Sidey: So the first series cost 78 million in total to, to do,
Reegs: I'm not a big fan of Dr. Zes. Really? It weird is a lot of it. And um the rhyming, you know, he can't trust somebody rhymes like that all the time.
Reegs: Yeah. Can't trust rappers.
Sidey: But no, I was, I was pleasantly surprised by this. I have to say, I did think it was, it was, my hopes weren't high. I thought, I thought, Oh God, you know, this could be a fucking disaster.
Dan: I, I had it on, I was watching it late again, I was just setting things up in here,
at the beginning, it really caught my attention just because it was, I hadn't gone in knowing much about it either.
It was just the title, put it in there. So seeing all those names attached to it and then watching the beginnings of it, I, I've thought, Right, this is something I'm gonna watch again. It's straight away peaked my interest enough to think, Well, I need more time to, to concentrate on this. And I watched right towards the end again, so I missed a bit in the middle.
But it, it finished, it finished on a, on a cliff hanger, which I really like in, in cartoons rather than just finishing. I like the fact that there would be a series to watch because
Reegs: Theodore Geel is Dr. Zeus's real name.
Sidey: Right. Okay
Reegs: slipped on a.
Sidey: It does you know, obviously have a lot of parallels with Clockwork Orange as it happens because Sam, I am is the supposed hero of the story, but he commits fraud, he steals he forces his friend guy, am I to lie to his friends?
Mm-hmm. , you know, and Alex, you know, is a, a murderous rapist, feeing thug.
Reegs: the same,
Sidey: the, it's almost identical in many
Reegs: ways. Yeah. I like that side. Yeah.
Sidey: so it did tie in quite nicely.
full circle. Yeah.
Dan: That's what we do.
Sidey: I would recommend this.
Dan: Yeah, me too. I, I'm gonna get into this. I, I think this is definitely not the last episode I've seen of this.
Reegs: Ah, you both lost your mind, so, I mean, Yeah, it was okay, but you're never gonna watch another episode of this.
Sidey: I mean, I would, I would watch it if my daughter washed it, I would be happy for something else other than fucking hatching a dragon.
Dan: I'm not, I'm not saying I'm putting it on on my own, but certainly if I'm looking for something with my daughter, Then I go, Look,
Reegs: we've probably got half an hour when pod finishes we could put an episode on.
Dan: I could do the second episode. See what happened after that Cliff hanger.
Sidey: Yeah, exactly.
Dan: Well, it's almost wrapping up a another week. We've had some noms in Pete.
Sidey: So first of all who, who knows when we're gonna see Howie again? He is stuck in a, like, endless loop of parental responsibilities. And we do this on a Monday and he's real difficult one. So hopefully we'll be able to do something to get Howie on board at some point.
But Peter Andre will be back, I think next week from his illegal, quite frankly illegal holiday where he's taken his kids outta school
Reegs: someone doing that, Dan.
Sidey: Yeah. But he's been to that cultural hotspot of Florida. Specifically he's visited, Dunno if he actually visited Disney World, but certainly in that neck of the words.
So we're gonna do a bit of a Disney thing. We're gonna do for our mid weeker, what is it called? Swiss Family Robinson. Which that's, that's as it stands now, if we may, that that's subject to change.
Could be tweet But the main feature is gonna be light year. Yeah. We're gonna do top five Disney moments, which I think we did something similar.
I think we did top five Disney characters. Okay. Back in the day. That was like
Reegs: maybe. I think we did maybe something like that.
did do that.
Reegs: Yeah. I think that was probably it
Sidey: when we went to see Frozen too. And I fell asleep. And then the kids thing is Steamboat Willie, which I think is the first Mickey Mouse thing.
Um so all kinds of Disney
stuff going on
Dan: a strong week. I remember Swiss family Robinson. I hope
Sidey: Willie You would've been
about like 2030 or something that when it
Dan: It's too old for that when that came out.
Sidey: Right. Well on that bombshell, all it remains is to say Si signing out
Reegs: breathes out.