Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows & Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century

Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, the podcast that gleefully shreds your favourite movies to pieces much like your kids do to your precious sanity. Strap on your deerstalker and rack up a big line of whatever takes your fancy, because this week we've been diving headlong into the enigmatic universe of Sherlock Holmes.

And what better way to start than with a look at the fantastically ambiguous topic of the top five.

Sidey: pipes.

Reegs: Next up on the cinematic chopping block, we'll be unraveling the mystery behind Guy Ritchie's story of repressed love in Sherlock Holmes A Game of Shadows, and as if that weren't enough, we also subjected ourselves to 90s animated cartoon Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century.

Now, a word of warning for the easily offended, this podcast is not for the faint of heart or the good of taste. Profanity flows like the River Thames, and spoilers? Well, we'll drop them like Holmes drops deductive epiphanies. But if that doesn't put you off, then all that's left to do is introduce the dads.

And I'm delighted to say we've got a very special guest this week, the current international staring champion, Sidey. I wonder if you'd give the listeners a quick demonstration of your talents there, Side. That

Dan: So strong,

Sidey: Wow.

Reegs: is.

Dan: strong. Intimidating.

Reegs: Yeah. And we've got Chris the man whose jawline has caused more car accidents than any Michael Bay movie. And of course, Dan, who remembers when movies were just a twinkle in John Logie Bear's Eye. And then there's me regs. Hello?

Sidey: Hello.

Dan: Hi. Hi.

Sidey: Hi. So,

Reegs: Sherlock Holmes this week.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: love Sherlock.

Reegs: It's all about Holmes.

Sidey: though, that wasn't Sherlock Holmes related?

Dan: I did actually, I watched last night a film with Steve Coogan.

Although he wasn't the main part, it was Sally Hawkins. And she played an Edinburgh, like, housewife or, not housewife, mother. Who Finds like in a 45 46 bit of a midlife crisis. She's had a divorce or separated from her husband who lives in the same house and brings a girlfriend back and kind of stuff or goes out.

It's fairly respectful between a bit. It's called The Lost King and he's, she was looking for, it's a true story of how she found this amateur kind of historian, found the

Sidey: well, under the carpark.

Dan: under the car

Sidey: right? Okay. Yeah.

Dan: Yeah, it was, it was good. It was really nice. It was a feel good film. And it's...

Reegs: Hawkins, was she the fish wandler in Shape of Water? Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Steven's wife. Yeah. Mm-hmm.

Dan: Yeah, that's right, but it was it was worth watching it's a really nice British film and You've got your villains in in the Leicester Univ the University of Leicester

Reegs: Oh, they are. Oh,

Dan: you know, they're trying to take all the credit without

Reegs: know, I'm just trying to take all the university there. They're,

Dan: known for finding Richard

Reegs: Oh,

Dan: well, Richard the third, and he, she kind of sees him in, in like everyday life, like she's obviously

Crs: it all.

Reegs: Oh, who plays Richard ii?

Sidey: Is that

Reegs: some guy.

Dan: Yeah, with kind of a bowl shaped long hair.

Reegs: All right.

Dan: But it was, you Tudors probably. After they took over we'd have fucked him up his history and everything and gave him a hunch back and said that he Killed his nephews in the tower, but did he really and all these kind of things? So it was it was interesting.

It was good

Crs: Okay. Yeah. I've watched, do you know, I've watched a few things. There was something that I was meant, I wanted to say last week, but we didn't get to this part because we didn't have you as an intro. So we just decided not to talk about anything else that anyone watched except for the talking heads.

Yeah. But I've watched, I'm gonna, I won't remember this, the name I watched something about some, it's an English movie about some guys in Leeds.

Reegs: and they,

Crs: It was actually quite good, but I can't remember the name of it. So that's how good it was. But I've watched a movie called The Little Things on Netflix. With Denzel Washington.

Sidey: Alright, I like

Dan: that. Denzel.

Crs: He looks old. As in, I don't think they've made him look old. He just kind of got old, I think. Which, which, which happens to everyone. I'm not, you

Sidey: 3 is about, isn't it? That's

Reegs: that's got good reviews. I'm up for that. I enjoyed the first one. Yeah.

Crs: So, yeah, the, it was, it's the same, it's a, it's quite a police drama, really. He's a police officer, he was in L. A. You don't really know at the beginning what happened.

He's in, he's in California, somewhere up north in one of the other counties or whatever, just a, just a normal police officer. He gets into L. A., everyone recognizes him in the big station. Rami Malek is in it as well, and he's the new... Head guy, like the new police officer, and they're investigating this guy, basically, or this person, whoever it might be, that's killing all these women.

And, long story short, in the end, I'm not gonna spoil it, but it's, it's, it's a question if they actually solve the...

Reegs: everything or not.

Oh,

Crs: it, it, it's,

Reegs: It's left open, is

Crs: yeah, and it's, it's, it was really interesting I found. So that was quite good. And I've also tried to watch, I can't really tell you why I tried to watch a movie with Scott Adkins.

Reegs: Yeah. I like, yeah.

Crs: It's called. Avengement or something like that.

Dan: Yeah,

Sidey: we watched it on the

Dan: on the boat. Yeah,

Sidey: brilliant.

Crs: honestly, what a movie. Jesus Christ.

Sidey: It's

Dan: really

Sidey: set in the bar. Yeah, it's great.

Crs: It's the one where he has, where he has the teeth and yeah, honestly, that is, that is, you know what I enjoyed half enjoyed it half. I thought he's made so many movies because he's the executive producer and he does all these things. I thought he could have come up with a

Reegs: Better script. It's not the best. Scott Atkins, I, there are a lot better Scott

Dan: though, and it had

Reegs: I did really like Scott, the guy from East Enders, Craig Brass, or whatever his name was. And

Crs: There Adkins movies. It's got the guy from EastEnders,

Reegs: movies, like Proper British actors that,

Crs: his name was. There was something last night. It was

Reegs: that's what I watch, so yeah. Oh yeah. Good choices side.

Sidey: I very generously allowed the missus to choose something last night. So we watched Ghosted. It's the Anna de Armas. She's the hit hit person. Her and Chris Evans have a fling. working in a farmer's market and she's there trying to buy a pot plant and they end up having sex.

Dan: there trying to it's how it always

Sidey: he is a very full on texting her a million times a day and she doesn't reply.

Reegs: She ghosts him.

Sidey: And they set up the thing where he puts. trackers on everything so he doesn't lose everything and he's somehow tracker stalks her all the way to London and he ends up being confused for someone who's got a code for a nuclear device or something and so he's kidnapped and she has to yeah it's a story as old as time she has to wreck it.

Rescue him and so all the stuff that she's been telling him about she's a curates art for museums or whatever She's actually works at CIA and she kills people for a living. And so you have all this sort of

Dan: always a tough conversation, isn't it, that? Well,

Sidey: so

Reegs: of Mr. and Mrs. Smith type vibes,

Sidey: not him he's like a like a Sort of doofus. He's playing against type as the Captain America.

He's like this kind of like bit of a loser

Crs: Yeah, but

Reegs: presumably he's gonna get good, or

Sidey: No, not really he just For

Reegs: Flummoxes around and gets saved, and... For two

Sidey: people it's like incredibly good looking people who have sex and then He has this connection. There's like zero fucking chemistry And then entirely like predictable like plot. So it's not great But we did watch barbie, which was the opposite.

That's really really good. It's great

Dan: for that to come out so we can do it on the podcast.

Sidey: Yeah, it's great there's one particular bit where she's crying and she's like totally fucking upset and like Just draw and she's like, look at me. I'm so I'm like f g so ugly and the narrator Helen Mirren does the narrator like note to filmmakers casting Margot Robbie as someone who's supposed to be like not looking her best not a great move.

It's great and Ryan Gosling honestly f g good. Amazing. Absolutely incredible.

Dan: Okay, cool.

Crs: Great. Yeah. The Bear

Reegs: supposed to

Sidey: started

Crs: out on

Reegs: be like, not a great movie. It's great. And Ryan Gosling, honestly, fucking steals it. He's so fucking good. Amazing. Cool. Great. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. It's this part of the show Why I don't know what i'm doing.

Dan: What was it? This part? Huh?

Sidey: It was top five.

Dan: I've

Crs: Yeah, cameos. Musicians cameos.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: Did Flea get in? Cause he, I was surprised how many he was in.

Crs: he did get in. Sidey, Sidey gave him a shout.

Reegs: Tom Waits, I think he was in Mystery Men as

Crs: I don't know that many bands, so I didn't really know much to

Reegs: what were the rules again? That you had to be...

Sidey: It was a bit of a gray area,

Crs: I, I fucked it.

Dan: said cameos rather than full scale

Reegs: Acting. So you couldn't have, like, David Bowie in a whole movie, like, you know,

Dan: Chuck Berry, you

Reegs: or...

Crs: No, I did, I did put Whitney Houston though.

Sidey: Then that was more of an actor. If you just cropped up as like a few seconds as a proper,

Dan: Yeah, that was the, that was the true one. But

Sidey: So Bevis mentioned Keith Richards in Pirates of the Caribbean. Yeah. That was like borderline.

Mel mentioned Prince appearing in the new girl. She was very enthusiastic about that.

And then after the show, Breachy said, if you're going to go with Alice Cooper and I did put Alice Cooper in from yeah. She said, don't forget his stunning cameo in the sub asylum masterpiece Bigfoot and he was audio in I

Dan: a Claudio Brasso, I think that's

Sidey: think that's how you pronounce that film Monster Dog.

Reegs: I think

Dan: stuff, isn't

Reegs: good, isn't it? Very,

Dan: deep.

Reegs: does

Sidey: have to

Reegs: That's better than us, really, isn't it? That is better than

Sidey: Monster dog was sadly more of a starring role. So that's out and then I'm sure Bevis came back with a late shout, didn't he? Alicia Keys and smoking aces

Reegs: Right.

Crs: Oh yeah.

Dan: Nice.

Reegs: But

Sidey: think we can't have

Crs: She was, I think she was gay in that movie as well.

Okay.

Sidey: Okay, well you're a bit of a homophobe there, but can we have Alice Cooper in twice?

Reegs: Yeah, let's put him in, it's unprecedented,

Sidey: Yeah. Okay. Well ask if it goes in twice in the same top five.

Reegs: Brilliant.

Sidey: Top five pipes.

Dan: Wow. Top five pipes. Yeah, pipe.

Sidey: don't know what your intention intentions were Well,

Dan: Well, let's find out what my intentions were because I never know until you tell me,

Sidey: all right. Go on then. Well you you lead the

Dan: Um, Well, Okay.

Sidey: on, have you ever, and I'm talking about just tobacco before we go

Dan: Into naughtier stuff or, yeah, yeah. I've smoked, I have, I have smoked a proper tobacco pipe, yes, yeah.

Sidey: Anyone

Crs: Yeah, I have. It's a, it's a different kind of tobacco. Anyway, it's a wet tobacco for the pipe.

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: I never have, but I do remember my grandfather smoking a pipe and it did smell very appealing. Aromatic. Yeah, you know, cherry tobacco and all that sort of stuff.

It did, like a cigarette to me just sounds bogging, but,

Dan: the way that pipe will just stay lit, and you just, yeah.

Sidey: I don't know if it's probably like, you know, nostalgic feel to it, but it did have a better aroma to it than just a

Dan: There's in, in my research for pipe fun facts and things, there was a, a documentary on pipes and the people that make them, the people that smoke them, you know, the whole culture where they've come from. And actually really interesting. I didn't watch the whole documentary, but I, I kind of started watching it and watched a bit of the trailer, but you, you get the old black and white photographs.

Sidey: It went from, I watched it. I didn't watch all of it. I watched a bit of the trailer

Reegs: Yeah, yeah. That's basically

Sidey: true

Dan: it. I I contemplated watching it.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: No

Dan: that almost qualifies. But yeah, it went right through from, you know, the history of, you know, people with the smoke pipes for thousands of years and all the way through. So I'm sure I'm going to get all that tonight within our choices.

Sidey: You never know. You never know. What's your first offering?

Dan: Okay I'm gonna Go for the, the classic, I guess. It, it will be the, the Gandalf pipe. It's certainly the modern classic. It's the easy one to, to get. And I think those, you know, all those Tolkien kind of pipes.

Sidey: that would probably be the longest pipe I had. It was very,

Dan: it's a church warden. I believe they're called those

Sidey: Is a

Reegs: There's a few in the Lord of the

Dan: the Rings. There are. Yeah, we should, should we, should we

Reegs: them together.

Dan: should we group those?

Reegs: But yeah,

Crs: they're all...

Reegs: Gandalf we shouldn't dismiss because that is a fine, fine pipe that he uses to express himself and look down at people a lot.

Sidey: Yeah

Dan: and there's magic in those pipes, isn't there?

I mean, and the hobbits, they've, they've got theirs. I mean, they've... Every morning they'll have a pipe and they'll have it after second breakfast too. It's, it's just part of the relaxation, isn't it, of being a hobbit. Right, question

Sidey: Right. The question for you, tobacco, does that have nicotine content in it, like

Reegs: Naturally. Yes.

Sidey: Right. Okay.

Reegs: okay. Yeah. Yeah and Aragorn in the pub looks pretty badass when he has a little pipe, don't he?

So good pipe content. I think, do any of the villains like a pipe or?

Crs: know Bilbo smokes one.

Sidey: He's not a villain.

Crs: No, but that's what I mean. I don't think any of

Sidey: the

Reegs: was

Crs: the... Well, the villains are all kind of from a different realm, no?

Reegs: are all kind of from a different realm, you know?

Crs: I didn't understand that

Sidey: from a different realm, no? I didn't understand that. It's a

Crs: Sorry, I don't understand.

Sidey: child like

Dan: joke that...

Reegs: didn't understand. it's like I'm about ten years old laughing at that, it's ridiculous. Anyway.

Crs: They're all kind of from a different land. No, so they, I don't think they, they smoke souls, not

Sidey: ever seeing an orc or an uruk hai smoking a pipe, or hobbit thing.

Dan: No,

Reegs: No. I

Dan: I think it's, it's a hobbit thing.

Reegs: Good pipe content, isn't it?

Sidey: control. Because it normally, where you, that kind of flips it, because you'd normally like, expect the villains to be the ones doing the smoking, but in Lord of the Rings, I guess it's all the, the good guys.

Reegs: Yeah? Do

Dan: do you have any villains?

Sidey: I've got a woman, how about that?

Reegs: Whoa.

Dan: I've got a woman, how about that?

Reegs: There you go, a

Sidey: smoking a pipe.

Yeah. Yeah. It's Irene Ryan AKA Granny Clampett from the Beverly Hillbillies.

Dan: a. Granny Clampett

Sidey: And yeah, she's got,

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: some, some are more sides. She's front on

Dan: Hillbillies. So she's front on, I don't

Sidey: different, but yeah, I thought it was quite unusual to see a lady smoking a pipe.

Dan: a lady

Reegs: Yeah, that is quite unusual.

Dan: well, I've got a movie that's got a couple of bits of pipe content

Reegs: Well, I've got a movie that's got a couple of bits of pipe content in it. Sometimes you're an ex special forces muscle man who hangs out in the woods with your daughter, who doesn't want you going on dangerous missions anymore.

So you spend your time. Feeding deer until she's abducted, and your name's John Matrix, and the first thing I thought of was right at the end in his fight with Bennett, he's kicked through the, he throws the metal pipe right through him, let off some steam, Bennett, and, you know, it always makes me think of the teacher at our school, whose name is Bennett, that Sidey and I say that to her every time she walks past her, so.

Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: We were stood at the back of, I think it was our daughter's first nativity. And I was busy working on my phone, getting a

Dan: getting a

Sidey: of this teacher, Mrs. Bennett. And like...

Crs: you know,

Sidey: using an app to get her face out, and then sending her to reexist, off some steam Ha ha ha!

Reegs: Yeah, so.

Sidey: Very grown

Dan: stick. It's been a stick. Yeah. So, it's very great.

Reegs: it's

Dan: Well, it's Chris's pipe, mate. If

Crs: you wanna... I don't really... I don't wanna... I don't wanna steal your show. I've

Reegs: think everybody wants to hear for, you know, see Chris's

Crs: I've got, tom Hardy's... I can't remember his Revenant.

Sidey: character's name in The

Dan: Revenant.

Reegs: pipe.

Crs: He is keen on smoking the pipe.

Dan: does like the

Crs: And obviously I would imagine we've all seen The Revenant.

Reegs: Yeah, he's great. And it talks incomprehensibly fights and horrible a lot.

Crs: Yeah, and he's a horrible man generally in it, so I did enjoy that. And I've got a couple more, but I also want to put the one that, the first one that came to my mind. I don't know if any of you has it, I'm probably sure you have. The greatest looking pipe I've ever seen in my life is in Inglourious

Sidey: Oh, it's

Crs: Basterds.

Crystal Waltz Colonel Haslander when, when Mr. Monsieur Lappadit takes his pipe out to smoke just a normal, normal French pipe and, I would say

Reegs: say at that point the character in the movie is purposefully evoking Sherlock Holmes, right?

In Inglorious Bastards,

Crs: I would say so. The detective, yeah, he's

Reegs: with his big pipe, because he's just done all this reasoning and all that shit, so. I, I

Dan: just watched an interview Quentin Tarantino gave about the pipe scene. And he said that it was just in the scene that he was going to bring out this pipe. And then...

He said he, he and Christopher Waltz started talking about it and he goes, Or does he know? He's like a detective, you know? So everything he does is, is detecting. And he said, does he know that he smokes a pipe? And then now he just wants to bring a pipe. He doesn't really smoke himself. He just wants a bigger pipe than him.

So he can kind of get one up on him.

Sidey: fucking big pipe.

Dan: It's a massive

Crs: It's amazing. Honestly.

Dan: It's like a horn. Yeah.

Reegs: So yeah,

Crs: So, yeah. That's, that's my, it's

Dan: good, yeah. Good pipe content. We'll get him back on to more pipe content is the dead poet society You remember this scene? You have not seen it. You've not seen this scene then. No, i'm surprised you've not seen this one Yeah,

Crs: It's a great movie.

Dan: Yeah

Crs: I can't remember the scene though, but it's a great movie. Yeah,

Reegs: it, they're,

Dan: they're kind of all hiding away the the young boys in their dead pipe poet society lair and You know like young boys smoking smoking pipes all trying to be more grown up And speaking about poetry and everything then they they actually are but yeah, it was a nice scene

Sidey: Right. Okay. Do you want some comic book pipe? Yeah. Well this is again where the goodies are pipe smokers. The very first appearance of the Incredible Hulk in Incredible Hulk number one.

Crs: one

Sidey: Has Bruce Banner as a pipe smoker, and then when he becomes the Hulk, the Hulk smokes

Reegs: the same pipe.

Sidey: same pipe though, so it's like, comedically, like, tiny Batman, the very first panel of his first appearance, he's smoking a pipe in Commissioner Gordon's office

Crs: it Batman or Bruce Wayne?

Sidey: Well, it's the same person, isn't it?

Reegs: Well, he's, he's more well did

Crs: here. I know, I never knew that.

Sidey: Yeah which they continued him as a pipe smoker for the first year of his existence and then they thought we should probably not have the hero.

Crs: Oh, right.

Sidey: a pipe smoker and Wonder Woman is not a pipe smoker but Steve Trevor.

Reegs: was in a movie that I saw in Dan's browser history.

Sidey: guys. Steve Trevor though in the books is a Smoker of the pipe.

Reegs: Yeah, because But he was also from a time before now.

Sidey: exactly. Yes, that's right. So three comic book which I've all had film appearances, but I thought get a bit of superhero action in there.

Reegs: Yeah, nice. Yeah. In Pulp Fiction Marcellus Wallace tells Zed that he's gonna be dealt with by some associates that he describes as pipe hitting well, gentlemen, and then he says they're gonna go to work with a pair of pliers and a blowtorch as well but some pipe hitting people.

Dan: medieval.

Reegs: We watched So I Married an Axe Murderer.

Which had a scene with Mike Myers his dad playing Do You Think I'm Sexy accompanied by bagpipes. Which, I, can I have that? Bagpipes in pipes? Can I?

Sidey: I think, I would have to say that bagpipes are the most wretched noise. In the history of mankind.

Reegs: I've got a bit on, yeah, they're horrendous, yeah. In The World Is Not Enough, uh...

Sidey: of James Bond pipes.

Reegs: Okay, well this, this is a Bond bagpipe World is Not Enough has got a bagpipe with a grenade machine gun concealed

Sidey: to hear about the world is not enough again then in that

Reegs: Amazing. And then, I've got a trio of movies where Amazing Grace is played on the bagpipes.

Would you like that? Is that interesting for you? Star Trek II, The Wrath of Khan at Spock's funeral. Scotty plays it. In L. A. Story, the freeway sign plays it to Steve Martin. And Invasion of the Body Snatchers, 1978. Also has a scene with Yeah. Amazing grace on the bagpipes.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah, good, good, random sort of pipe stuff.

Reegs: I've, that's all I've got to be honest, I, mid nineties

Dan: for the the

Reegs: halfpipe.

Yeah.

Dan: I've,

Reegs: I've,

Crs: I've actually only looked at pipes. Smoking kind, so I didn't really look at, I don't know, organs or, you know, where they have the pipes and stuff like that, but I

Reegs: I've got pipe organs. I

Crs: do have, yeah, you have, yeah with the windpipe generally is, you know, an organ thing, but I've

Reegs: about a penis?

That's a pipe.

Crs: in, in,

Sidey: take a look.

Yeah.

Crs: some people, I don't know,

Reegs: It's more like

Crs: I've got a movie called

Reegs: for Dan, is

Crs: The Lighthouse,

Reegs: and

Crs: I think you reviewed it on the pod.

Sidey: Thomas Wake.

Crs: Yeah, and Willem Dafoe's character is... Yeah, he sucks it upside down. Yeah, I know, it's very strange, but I

Sidey: doesn't the tobacco fall out?

Crs: It's normally wet tobacco, so I don't know how he would do it, but he, or he just, I don't know, sucks the air all the time. I'm not

Reegs: wasn't the strangest thing that happened in that

Crs: But, yeah, I don't know, but that was,

Sidey: sometimes

Dan: they have a little kind of cap on them. I dunno if you could,

Sidey: wouldn't that put it out though?

Reegs: it out,

Dan: yeah, I dunno. Maybe it depends. I don't think that was, but he was smoking upside down.

Crs: Yeah, I

Sidey: I mean, I've got another one, which probably scientifically wouldn't work.

Crs: I've got that one and I've got one of my favorites and I know you really love him is Daniel Day Lewis in There Will Be Blood. And it's also the poster is

Sidey: a pipe.

Crs: it's a pie, but it's also kind of made out of, no,

Reegs: Lewis.

Crs: you wish. No, it's made out of the, you know, the structure, the, the, like, it's almost looks like a scaffolding type where they drill for oil.

Sidey: thing that spins

Crs: Yeah, it's the tower structure. I don't know. Yeah, and then from that it turns into a pipe on the poster So that's pipe content from me

Dan: content. The Untouchables, the, the guy with the glasses.

Sidey: The, the glasses. Yeah, yeah,

Dan: I can't

Sidey: who you mean,

Dan: Yeah, he wore, he, he had a pipe. That's why I'm mentioning him.

Reegs: Makes sense.

Dan: yeah do you know how you can stop any pipe from leaking?

Reegs: No, tell us.

Dan: give it a tap. There you go.

Reegs: That's

Crs: is

Dan: that's a good one, isn't it?

It's a good little tip for anyone true grit. I'm just running through it. Most Westerns have a

Sidey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's loads, there's loads of

Dan: so I could have run through a

Sidey: of great John Wayne,

Dan: Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: Yeah, sure,

Crs: Clint Eastwood.

Dan: what,

Sidey: Lee Van Cleef as well.

Dan: yeah, strong pipe, strong pipe character. One I liked was Treasure Island the 1950s one the old, Like it looked like it's the first color kind of program ever.

And you got long john silver and black beard and and kind of all those guys and they've all got pipes Long farmer and there's got There I think there is a Animals in it so probably cruelty, but it was actually a really good one this again it was really Brilliant, set and everything.

They went to town on it And the costumes and everything and you've got all these kind of lords and dukes and everything and they've all got sort of slightly very posh pipes and you've got the The poorer guys with their little stubby pipes and fisherman pipes and everything but strong pipe content

Crs: you want to find pipes, you can find it, can't

Dan: can't you?

Yeah, there's, there's, well represented.

Sidey: Do you want bubble pipes? Yes.

Reegs: World 2,

Sidey: World 2, yeah, Garth, after he's banged Kim Bassinger he...

He does the very sideways on with a like a Hugh Hefner style jet smoking jacket and Bart Simpson does the same he's got the casino, is it the casino

Reegs: Yeah, with Hugh Hefner. Oh no with Robert Goulet. He does it with Hefner as well, I

Sidey: Maybe is the Hefner one Okay,

Reegs: think they're two separate episodes. I think Bart's got form for

Dan: it. Yeah, there you go.

Sidey: where's what a great shout and then if Pete was here I can't give you too much detail because I have seen it, but kind of, I was doing other stuff while it was on. Pirates of the Caribbean, the Davy Jones one. He's kind of,

Dan: oh he's got some

Sidey: half man, half squid.

Dan: you got jab of the heart going down that thing. Jabber has a pipe, doesn't he has a hooker pipe. Yeah,

Sidey: Yeah, it's like a shisha thing that he's got going on in his palace, yeah.

But Davey Jones, so his one I was thinking, well surely it must get wet and probably go underwater

Dan: that wet tobacco Chris talking about? Well yeah, but

Sidey: he's talking about. Well, yeah, but I guess I'm just not down with the science of it.

Dan: maybe if, if you, there are some pipe smokers out there. They can give us some.

Sidey: I reckon our entire audience is probably all pipe smokers.

Reegs: Yeah.

Crs: There must, there must be

Sidey: that we picked this topic just for the innuendo, but I'd never thought of the innuendo until we started talking about it tonight.

Dan: Are you kidding? Are you I

Crs: thought I was going. I

Dan: well, well didn't, yeah, I didn't suggest it, but I thought it might come along with the, the topic.

Sidey: Do you want the, the James Bond ones now or do you want me to go around again?

Dan: No, give them now. I can't wait.

Sidey: Well, rigs already brought up the world is not enough, but effectively the whole plot of that one is about a pipe. It's about, they're,

Reegs: a new pipeline,

Sidey: they're building a new pipeline, and then to force... The oil to be channeled through their own pipe. There's something about a nuclear bomb and that's the one with Denise Richard as Dr Christmas Jones and they make of

Crs: And

Dan: why don't we just share our

Reegs: Dr. Christmas Jones and her maker.

Sidey: Yeah, they make a joke about her and he coming once a year or something which is great 1971's

Crs: 1971's

Sidey: Diamonds Are Forever is fucking awful There's a

Dan: they dropped the pipe, crack pipe.

Reegs: There's

Sidey: scene where Sean Connery as Bond has to hide himself within a pipe, and they lower the pipe, they actually lower, they bury the pipe in the ground. And there's a rat, and he sees the rat, and he's trying to get away, but then it's called a pig, but it's not a pig as in an oink oink, it's a, I guess that, those, P I G stands for something, but it's essentially a machine that goes down the pipe and

Reegs: It's like a boar.

Sidey: like a, I guess maybe that's why.

Crs: Kill plants. Well, just to

Sidey: to go down the pipe and advance the pipeline, I guess, but he's obviously caught against that and then in the living daylights, they use the pipe exactly like there's a lot of like

Dan: proper pipe

Sidey: content in Bond. They use that one to like zoom around the place and not as memorable, but it's how he is planning to move.

What's the character's name? Skov beyond the iron curtain through this like whole pipe infrastructure. Yeah. So yeah, there you go. Three bonds

Reegs: At four, if you include Daniel Cray coming out of the water in

Sidey: oh, you can almost see his pipe through his blue trunks. Yeah.

Reegs: there's some pipe there. Can I have Rowdy Roddy Piper, or is that?

Sidey: Yeah, from

Reegs: well, they live absolutely brilliant, and also, hell comes to Frogtown. It's, I urge you to see that one. The basic premise of which is that after a sort of nuclear war... 68 percent of the male population's been wiped out, so, Rowdy Roddy Piper as Sam Hell is the last sort of highly virile man left alive.

And he's got to help rescue a group of women who've been kidnapped by humanoid frogs.

Sidey: his pipe.

Reegs: Well, he's Rowdy Roddy Piper, so, you know, that's, that's his pipeness. What about the pipes in Futurama? They take you places, that's a bit of pipe action, and also Super Mario, which we watched on Breachy's nomination, and of course it seems obvious to reimagine the video game of Super Mario Brothers as, you know, people being captive in an alternate dimension steampunk police state where people evolved from dinosaurs, which has been infected by a sentient testicle fungus, but yeah yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Well, I've got a couple more just to mention. There's a Popeye with Robin Williams. Yeah. There was witness the 1985 Harrison Ford one, I think it is, where it's maybe Jody Foster. There's pipe action with the Mormon kind of crowd there. I mentioned Treasure Island. But there was also in Tom and Huck, which was an old, it looked like a, a young Ethan Hawke in it playing, you know, Huckleberry Finn and they were on the pipe.

I remember watching that as a, as a kid.

Reegs: Alright,

Sidey: kid.

Dan: Yeah.

Crs: I think I've only got one, which I don't think we've mentioned it, although it does qualify as a Western, so I'm not very proud of it, but I did enjoy the movie, and I know it's Tarantino again.

It's Samuel L. Jackson and Kurt Russell in The Hateful Eight, and they both smoke really good pipes, and they,

Reegs: pipe it up.

They're

Crs: piping it up, yeah. And it's also, it's also a fun fact, which kind of came

Dan: After

Sidey: I,

Crs: just kind of searched the scene. Just to make sure they're actually smoking the pipe. In the Hateful Eight, the Mexican guy smokes Manzana Roja.

The brand of cigarettes, which is the red apple cigarettes. So, so, in all Tarantino's movies, they always, they always smoke red apple cigarettes. So then, that's why he was actually smoking. Which is, is a bit of a side track to the pipes, but it's still tobacco related. So, that's my last one.

Dan: one. Okay, yeah I'm exhausted.

Reegs: Was that some sort of pipe? Oh yeah. Okay. Yeah, we didn't

Sidey: have any crack pipes.

Reegs: No, Charlie,

Sidey: Unless someone was going to held one back.

Dan: dropped one

Crs: We done the crack Pete had, I remember we, Pete had a suggestion of crack at one point and we had done crack in the walls, crack pipes and all that, crack heads and all that. So I think that's the reason

Reegs: covered it. Don't worry, we've covered it,

Sidey: Yeah, should we...

Crs: I think, but. Should we lock it down then?

Dan: time.

Sidey: Should we lock it down then?

Crs: If you want to add some more, it's

Sidey: I'm good, I'm out.

Reegs: Yep.

Sidey: we've gone on about pipe enough.

Dan: think there's plenty of pipe there to choose, isn't there?

Crs: a

Sidey: Is that a dick on your...

Crs: Yes, it

Reegs: it is,

Crs: is an actual dick.

Dan: That

Sidey: only just noticed that. Right, what pipe are you putting in, Dan?

Dan: I'm going to put in the pipes of Treasure Island.

Sidey: Okay.

Dan: It's the

Sidey: I like that. It's the 1950s

Dan: 1950s version. Saw it at a cinema.

Sidey: Just thinking out loud, in the Arnie film with the devil.

Crs: End of days.

Sidey: Isn't there a fight in the church with the pipes on the pipe

Crs: Yeah, yeah. I've got it

Dan: it on my

Reegs: Just thinking

Sidey: But I'll I'll resist temptation.

I'm gonna put in I'm gonna put in The World Is Not Enough,

Reegs: Oh, nice.

Sidey: plot specific pipe.

Reegs: Yeah, and we had the bagpipes as well.

Sidey: doubled up, yeah.

Reegs: I am going to put in gremlins to the new batch because he plays that Toccata and fugue in D minor. It's a Bach thing, you know, on a pipe organ.

Crs: as well,

Sidey: Oh yeah.

Dan: yeah,

Reegs: Duh ah ah It has, yeah, I've got a list of them all as well, but yeah, that was a good one for me, where he, he, where, the, the one who gets disfigured by acid wears a Phantom of the Opera mask, because

Sidey: right, yeah, yeah,

Reegs: from there. But that tune, you've heard a million times, on the pipe organ.

Sidey: pipe organ. Cool. Nice. Chris?

Crs: Colonel S. S. Hans Landa in Inglourious Basterds, ID has to be done.

Sidey: Yeah, and I was, sorry, I was tardy putting up the post about asking for a request from the listeners, so we don't have any yet, but I'm sure we'll be inundated in

Reegs: the listener,

Dan: Yeah, yeah.

Reegs: I've eaten a

Dan: Do you want Ma'am? We

Sidey: had a bag of Malm mix. Yeah,

Dan: yeah.

Sidey: Which is a, is it Haribo? It is Haribo, isn't it? We had.

Dan: is Haribo, isn't it?

Reegs: maam is the make, I think, isn't

Sidey: it? But this, the typography is the same as Haribo,

Reegs: they're the same thing,

Sidey: the same umbrella.

Dan: Hmm, it's like a shark attack though went on here with us and that bag of mail. We've

Reegs: what was your favorite?

'cause you got the little balls and you got

Dan: There is a

Reegs: ones and

Dan: kind of sour thing.

Crs: Yeah, the sour ones are the

Dan: particularly memorable.

Reegs: the sour ones the best,

Sidey: we out now though?

Reegs: Mm-hmm. , there's a couple of bits there.

Sidey: is there a confectionary

Dan: Somebody's put wrappers, empty wrappers back in

Sidey: What a disaster. And that segues very nicely into this week's main feature, which is Sherlock Holmes Colon. A Game of Shadows. Yeah. Another mystery. So we were going in with a sequel.

Dan: very nicely into this week's again, it's, I, I knew it was a standalone you didn't have to have watched the first one to, to enjoy this one.

Sidey: I think. If you're keeping Score Guy Richie, probably our most reviewed direct

Reegs: Yeah, I was thinking about that. That seems improbable.

Sidey: he's way out ahead. In fact,

Reegs: I also wanna watch another one that he's done that I've heard that is good. The covenant. But

Crs: yeah, I watched

Reegs: because it's very good.

Yeah, I heard

Crs: very good. Yeah, it's very

Reegs: It's weird because he's not necessarily my absolute favorite

Dan: No, I don't think any of us

Reegs: He's prolific

Sidey: was gonna say, he seems to be very prolific recently. He's like really churning him out.

Reegs: really, really prolific. Had

Dan: had a long rest, I

Sidey: he'd done this one. He did

Reegs: back in 2011,

Sidey: which assembles the crew again because it's Robert Downey Jr.

And Jude Law.

Dan: Yeah, so Law plays Watson.

Sidey: returns as Irene Adler, but briefly in this

Reegs: in this one.

Dan: Yeah so Robert Downey Jr. is a fantastic actor. He really, whatever he seems to throw his self into.

Sidey: air america.

Dan: He's exactly, you know, he, he brings an A1 performance And so I was always interested to see how he'd do his Sherlock, and particularly his modern ones. You've got Benedict Cumberbatch, who's also a Sherlock kind of character.

Reegs: And there's another one as well, isn't there? The

Sidey: Well, there's elementary, there's the series which places it,

Dan: And that was Johnny Lee Miller, wasn't it?

Reegs: a series,

Sidey: right. Obviously the B B C Sherlock isn't modern day placing, but this is obviously a yank playing Sherlock, a yank

Dan: playing Sherlock back in the 1800s.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: And I like the period Sherlock better than the more modern ones. I think

Reegs: well you already declared your colors to the mast in our mid weeker about preferring the Jeremy Brett.

Dan: Well, he's the best of the best. Yeah. He's the one that if you want to keep a true as you can to. Conan Doyle's books than Jeremy Brett Schuman and that they're fantastic. They're almost educational them but this one is um You know, it's a hollywood movie.

Sidey: to say, this is more Hollywood, this is big blockbuster kind

Dan: Yeah, Guy Ritchie and and so it's interesting to see How this second one went because did you see the first sherlock combs?

Reegs: had seen it, yeah, I don't remember it especially well, but I remembered a lot of the things that were... Consistent with this movie, when,

Sidey: when you've got two people like the hero villain that are so ubiquitous when it's the story is not them too. And the first film is not Moriarty, although I think they kind of

Reegs: tease him

Sidey: tease him at the end.

You just, you,

Dan: building

Sidey: good, but it's, it's not right. You know, you're wanting the full, the real McCoy and that's what we get in this one. So we're, and it doesn't really waste any time in this one and getting right into it. You know, the, the plot is like thrust upon you.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: right. Where do we start, Riggs?

Reegs: Well, we start with a journal actually over the credits. And then it's a terrorist bomb in Strasbourg and we see some posh people milling around and then a huge explosion and the smoke and the aftermath and

Dan: are dead.

Reegs: yeah. And then next we're in next week we're with Irene Adler, right?

The returning. Rachel McAdams from the first movie, the sort of love interest for

Crs: Well, it kind of starts, sorry, it kind of starts with the, the year is 1891.

Sidey: 1891.

Dan: 1891.

Reegs: 1891.

Crs: These countries that Europe are each other's throats. So it's a narrated

Sidey: narrated

Reegs: Yeah, you get the scene set. Yeah.

Crs: starts by narrating the, I don't know, the events and the, basically the environment in which we're.

Sidey: as if there's potentially some conflict.

Crs: Well, there's

Reegs: Is it, there's been some bombings between France and Germany and you know, there's tension essentially.

And obviously being

Crs: go to Irene.

Reegs: know that period of the, you know, anyway, what's geopolitically and then Irene. Yeah.

Crs: We

Reegs: And then Irene is, is walking through the cobbles

Crs: of the, you know, anyway, that's geopolitically. And then

Sidey: She's gonna deliver something.

Yes. But Holmes is tracking her?

Reegs: Yeah, he's dressed as a sort of Chinese sort of street seller sort of thing.

He's got a very obviously fake looking thing on but enough to blend in as she walks past and he follows her and he. Attempts to attain the package. Then they reference having dinner later, and then suddenly these four shadowy men step out. He wants to inform, oh, there's three men following you. And she says, well, actually it's four and I'll see

Sidey: She's always been,

Dan: Yeah, they're

Reegs: So there's a kind of flirty sort of vibe to this as well. It's kind of like a little test that she's set up. She, she knows he'll be okay, but also she is also doing her own thing.

Sidey: she's always been a good foil for him.

She's never been intimidated by him or, you know, she's, I wouldn't say necessarily quiet and equal. No, no. But, but good. You

Dan: yeah, he, he has, he has a respect and because yeah, yeah, and there's another one. Yeah, the, the lady vanishes or something. I think there's some girlfriend related Sherlock cause there's not a lot with

Sidey: certainly hold her own against him, like, yeah, yeah.

Dan: And yeah, she's she's outwitted him again because she's taken the package that he'd taken off her back and she wanders off while he's left a deal with

Sidey: There's one particular

Dan: seven angry men. Yeah. And

Sidey: It's where we first see in this that he can hold his own in a fight. Yeah. And he goes,

Dan: as you said,

Sidey: he, he kind of describes in like almost bullet time. You see, you flash forward through the fight.

Reegs: He can predict

Sidey: he knows exactly how they're by looking at them. He can deduce how they will fight what their style is going to be.

He

Reegs: If you're concealing a weapon.

Sidey: And then and we see in slow motion exactly how the fight is going to play out. Maybe that'll happen later on in the film. And then it goes back and then plays forward Maybe fast forward through the fight sometimes. Yeah

Crs: very quickly.

Reegs: And Yeah, but it is well, you know, it is well shot.

Sidey: effective.

Yeah, it's really

Crs: yeah. Yeah, really

Reegs: effective. You get a real sense of being able to see everything and then momentum when it,

Sidey: Yeah, I mean he takes a few whacks as well. It's not just like, you He works out that he'll have to take a hit here and do blah blah blah. But he does, you know, he

Dan: he sees, he sees the fight before it's happened and, and he manages to. To keep his face intact, mainly,

Reegs: Well, I like, well, more than that, he disarms the guy, empties the bullets on the floor and throws the guns away and then kind of, you know, sort of goes at him physically and the guy is probably four inches taller than him and three stone heavier and sort of flinches because of the, the presence that Holmes has at that moment.

So, yeah, he did okay in that fight.

Dan: And we, yeah, we find out Holmes is a very different Holmes in this.

He is somebody that can look after himself and and get him out of it. A scuffle if he needs to. I think then he,

Reegs: Adler now, she goes to an auction to meet Dr. Carl Hoffman style a surgeon who may or may not, everything's a, it's a detail, everything's a detail that you should pick up on.

If you're being told the name, it's important. If you're given a detail, it's good. You know, that's consistent with all of this.

Sidey: it'll probably play into something later on.

Reegs: Yeah. And he's a surgeon and she gives him, he gives, she gives him a package, doesn't she?

Sidey: He's got a card or an envelope.

Reegs: got

Crs: If you've got a card or an envelope. Which is meant to be payment and he gives her a...

An envelope saying that it's from the brother. Yeah, it's from Renee. It's for his sister, whatever. She's expecting it or something like that. Give it to him.

Dan: Yeah, she has given him a, a bomb And he's Holmes has just turned up in the nick of time detonator

Sidey: He puts the paddle, the auction paddle in the way to stop the detonator hitting and he says, don't touch that again. Don't touch that.

Reegs: again.

Don't touch that.

Dan: Don't

Crs: that.

Sidey: And of course, after a bit of chat, the guy does and it's he sets off the secondary.

Reegs: There's a secondary mechanism, yeah.

Sidey: so it's, it's going to go and he very nonchalantly.

Reegs: Well, he bids a million pounds for a sarcophagus, doesn't he, because it's an auction house and then it's sold or whatever, and he sets fire to the tapestry, everybody plunges out, and when the bomb goes off, he puts it inside the sarcophagus

Sidey: But not losing his cool chatting to the guys, if I could run off, he doesn't even realize he's, he's explaining what's going to go on and he looks around and he's gone.

Dan: Yeah, yeah, no, that is really cool because while all about...

They're losing their head, Holmes has got the perfect

Sidey: But Irene's gone as well. Yeah. And she's going to go to rendezvous. Was it in the Ivy or something? I

Reegs: Somewhere nice, wasn't it?

Sidey: anyway. With Moriarty. And so it's not like they keep him in the shadows for ages. It's just, here he is,

Reegs: he's great.

Dan: So it's not like they keep him in the shadows for ages, it's just, here he is. Yeah, yeah. Well, she, she takes him to his, her favourite restaurant because she wants to be safe. She, she doesn't want to go to his place or invite him to hers. So a public place in a busy restaurant is perfect. But Moriarty displays his power by yeah.

Reegs: it's important because there's a cup of tea waiting for her, which she declines on the basis that she orders a new one. And as they're talking Moriarty, it's great that it was Jared Harris as well. Was that a returning thing from the first one or not?

Sidey: don't think we see him in the first one. no.

Reegs: first one.

No, okay. He's an actor I like and he was last in Happiness, which, yeah. And

So, yeah, we do see that display of power as...

Sidey: doesn't he?

He says, Oh, you think you'd be safe in your favourite place out in public? And he just taps the teacup. Oh, the glass, sorry. As if, you know, like you would say speech. And the fucking place just clears out. And it's rammed.

Dan: Yeah.

Everyone, everybody just gets up.

Sidey: every single person

Reegs: She's already drunk from her little cup as well before this because they're having a little conversation. And also Arthur Shelby from Peaky Blinders is there

Dan: that's right. Yeah.

Crs: From

Dan: in it as well.

Reegs: this is happening also.

Crs: Peaky Blinders is there. Yeah, that's right, yeah. Has passed away on his way out.

Sidey: And mate, Moriarty's right hand man's

Crs: and then meanwhile, well,

Reegs: start

Sidey: in the leg, isn't it?

Crs: yeah, going past, going past the, he goes past who we find out later is Colonel Moran or something like that. And yeah, he, he goes past the, the. The doctor and he finds him dead. That's right. While Irene Adler is not having a great time after her cup of tea. Holmes is

Reegs: Obviously, thinking about this, when we get introduced properly to Dr. Watson, I think we've seen him typing at the beginning but Watson comes to Holmes place, and he's sort of moving through, there's a lot of foliage put up, sort of thing, and he's, suddenly, darts are coming out of nowhere for him as Holmes is sort of

Dan: Yeah, there's one in the, in his shoulder for like ages in the first, that

Sidey: say that Irene Aldo is killed.

Crs: Yes, yeah, she's poisoned by, yeah,

Dan: that's right. I didn't see that coming, even though,

Sidey: because she's, you know, a big star really. Rachel McAdams returning from the first film

Dan: But it just

Reegs: And so, and maybe the love interest you would have assumed for, for Holmes, but... How

Dan: how brutal Moriarty is. He really doesn't care because he says, I'm no longer require your services. And she gets up and she takes about 10 steps before she, you hear her choking and pulling down the tables.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Sad times.

Sidey: Yeah, and so it's like you say then, Watson going to 221B. It looks like the fucking Amazon.

And when we see Holmes, he's got a disguise on. I didn't, even having seen the film before, I was

Dan: Oh, he's brilliant,

Sidey: is it? And he's, he's wearing a, like an all in one thing, but it's half wallpaper, half book. shelf I

Reegs: Yeah, something like

Sidey: just standing there and it's not till he moves like, fuck, I couldn't remember.

There he is. And you know, and he's just darting Watson as he walks through. And I think he's also poisoned his dog. Yes. And, but it

Reegs: turns because he gives him a wedding pre present of some adrenaline.

Sidey: Yeah. And this is, this is his. Stag night. Yeah. Which he's Holmes is supposed to have organized and he's supposed to invite us, you know, this group of fans and these people from

Dan: friends, and yeah, yeah.

Sidey: his his medicinal, you know, doctor colleagues, his fucking army lot, completely

Crs: No one,

Sidey: It doesn't done a fucking thing. And so this is the time where your stag do was the night before you got married, which I think was fucking ballsy.

Crs: Yeah, that was dangerous.

Dan: is fucking balls in the way to go. I always thought that was... That's the way to do it, to be honest. And then we all go, oh, you've got to be, you know, a week before or a month.

Sidey: was like, that's the

Dan: And I was like, that's the night before, isn't it?

Crs: I don't know. Yeah, but,

Dan: I know. I think just too many grooms never made it to the church on time

Reegs: Yeah, or in too bad a

Dan: always in a terrible,

Crs: the church on time. Well, as we find out

Dan: And that began the wedding.

Crs: this movie, they end up and, and this is where we're into it. They go to this place, which looks like a place where, which I think those are the times. It looks like a place where the elite and the.

Reegs: Pleb. Yeah.

Crs: were kind of mingling and they were in kind

Sidey: you liked to gamble or whatever,

Crs: in the same place. And that's where we get introduced to Steven Fry, Mycroft Holmes.

Reegs: That's Holmes his smarter brother, isn't

Sidey: Yeah,

Dan: That That's right. And he works for the British government

Reegs: it's not really clear.

What

Dan: No. He, he's just very important and they consult him on foreign affairs, diploma and diplomatic kind of affairs. And yeah, so.

Sidey: he calls Sherlock Shirley,

Reegs: Poor Watson's

Dan: got His stag do with Sherlock and Mycroft and not a lot else going on.

Who

Crs: But there, yeah, where are the stag do? Bring some more chairs. Don't bother with the chairs. Where are the lads from? Nah, there's no lads. Oh, there's no other man. Which is a bit strange. Like, where's the lads from my rugby club? Where's the lads from my medical college? There's no man.

Dan: come, and he goes, you didn't call anyone, did you?

Sidey: he said he fucked it. But he

Reegs: he really does kind of already know really, because when he was at his Holmes' place, he unveiled Holmes' like secret labyrinth thing.

Map the knows Holmes is working on something anyway under it also. He's not an idiot even though he plays along with it and seems outraged

Crs: there is also a secondary purpose.

Reegs: Yeah, I would say so. Yes,

Crs: but there is a secondary purpose for their visit there because we see at one point when he's doing the toast homes is watching several men on the corridors and on the balconies and stuff and they all have a rose.

And they see, and he finally sees one leaving a curtained room. And he ends up going there. Before that, he gives Watson some money, where Watson's gonna go and gamble.

Reegs: That's right, and get smashed,

Crs: to get sure, to make sure he doesn't waste his nights. He goes and gambles.

Sidey: a gambling problem, right? Yes.

Crs: yeah, yeah. And, anyway, he ends up in the...

Dan: though.

Yeah. Yeah.

Crs: He ends up in the, in the room and there's a fortune teller, a gypsy woman

Reegs: Yeah,

Crs: teller. Yeah, Madame Simza.

Reegs: Numi Rapace, is that how you Numi Rapace.

Crs: Rapace.

Reegs: was her. We saw

Sidey: her in Prometheus. Yeah.

Dan: Yeah, and she'll tell your fortune if you cross her palm with silver.

Reegs: or more accurately, homes will tell her hers. Yes. And it isn't good because,

Dan: will tell her hers. Yes there... Is people closing down and I think there is a

Sidey: a Cossack in the,

Dan: Cossack in the in the roof.

He's kind of, you know, Spider Man himself up to the top of the roof and is about to drop down as soon as Sherlock walks out the room, but he knows this. And again, we go through this. Scene where he's worked out you see the scene you work out the fight. What's gonna happen then he drops down

Crs: And he makes an omelette.

Sidey: omelette.

Dan: he's kind of just

Crs: scrambled eggs or something, yeah.

Reegs: Yeah, that's right.

Dan: top of it, yeah

Reegs: He's got his recipe for scrambled eggs, which is just beating the shit out of the

Crs: just beating the shit he's fighting, which is, yeah.

Great fight scene, though.

Reegs: and so anyway, he's managed to deduce from, is this at this point where he deduces about the, where Renee, her brother is.

Crs: No. He just deduces the fact that it's pickled herring in or herring pickled in vodka and he's got incredible body odor. And then they fight. They end up in a boat. And they, this is the new cock fight. They end up fighting there. And then they end up back inside, carrying on fighting him and the Cossack, and then he kicks either the Cossack or he kicks him, the Cossack gets outside, kicked in the river, and he ends up inside on Watson's table, and he destroys all the winnings, and then Watson's there, with all the money in front of him, laughing, and the next second, all the money's on the floor, and there's,

Dan: scrambling to, Watson's actually won, isn't he?

Crs: And then there's a massive fight, and you can see Watson towards the end, where Mycroft gets them together and is like, You need to go to your wedding. And he's still steaming. And then we cut to the actual wedding venue where that is a solid look for both of them.

Reegs: Well, but mostly Holmes is kind of explicitly mooning about looking really sad that Watson's getting married, basically.

I mean, you know, so the, I mean, right off the charts, you're sort of thinking the relationship between these two, it seems to be more than platonic in

Dan: I think Holmes doesn't really have many friends and and the fact that... Is now one friend is his, one true friend is leaving to

Reegs: I'm not sure he does see him just as a friend. I think throughout this movie, there's like a really strong... No, just in this adaptation,

Sidey: the traditional thing is that they're good friends and probably Holmes only friend in this.

I haven't said it to the Mrs. Women watching, it's like, they're gonna fuck, like,

Dan: it's homes and sexual, or, well, they just,

Crs: says

Reegs: There's plenty. It's not even gay subtext. It's text. I mean, at one point he says to him something about Oh, don't be repressed or whatever. I mean, literally

Sidey: up like a lady for a reason.

Reegs: up like a late. Yeah, they he lies back on the floor having a cigarette after wrapping his legs around I mean, it's like it's not even it's there

Sidey: it's there. Yeah, it's explicit. Anyway,

Reegs: it's not important really I just think it's interesting that Guy Ritchie chose and they all chose to do this with and also I think probably what's tops and bottoms, is that, are you allowed to talk about that stuff, is that, I think Jude Law is probably the top in this, right, and, cause he seems to be like, is that how it works, I think, or?

Sidey: Yeah, I think, the one time that Holmes would give up his

Crs: power.

Sidey: Yes,

Reegs: I think the

Sidey: yeah. Anyway they do get married and that's boring. And then they go on Watson and it's Mary,

Dan: and then they go on

Sidey: They're going on the train though, first

Reegs: their honeymoon?

Sidey: Yeah, on their honeymoon.

Dan: go on their honeymoon.

Reegs: actually, where homes is pretty quick to ditch the wife on the honeymoon so the homes and Watson can go on honeymoon together again.

Yeah.

Dan: pushes her out a moving train

Sidey: Well, essentially because, because... Trouble

Dan: starts.

Think

Sidey: starts.

Crs: There is also, while this is all happening, after the wedding, Colonel Moran invites Sherlock Holmes to see Professor Moriarty.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: Moriarty and

Crs: We, what we don't know yet through their conversation is the first time they come face to face. He gets an autograph on the details of the asteroids or something like that. Some crazy book that Professor Moriarty wrote. And then he, by all accounts, Sherlock Holmes deduces from what Professor Moriarty tells him that he's going to give them a wedding present.

Which, a wedding present from Moriarty means only one thing.

Reegs: Well, he's explicitly, because he comes to say, leave Watson out of it, doesn't he? That's what he's gone to bargain and say.

This is between us, sort of, you know, Watson's not involved, and, and Moriarty, the evil bastard, he's like, nah, everybody's in scope, fuck you.

Crs: Yeah, the celestial, whatever, when two objects collide, there are...

Reegs: collateral damage, so he's, and it, yeah.

Sidey: But we have seen Holmes scope out his office, we know that he's observed everything.

Reegs: he sees the book of horticulture and then the dead flowers

Sidey: knowing Holmes and his observational...

Dan: his

Crs: he will

Reegs: hours.

Dan: deductive

Sidey: powers. We know that everything that he's seen in there, he will be clued up about something.

We don't know what, but

Reegs: they will be something, he'll,

Sidey: he'll have the upper hand in some way.

Crs: In some way. Yeah,

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: And he knows that people will be coming for him. Sorry, Holmes knows that people will be coming for Watson. And so he's laid a few preemptive strikes.

Reegs: Also, he's cross dressed Holmes. He's snuck on board as a lady. Not very convincing, I

Sidey: A little bit, but just with all the

Crs: in Dark Knight. A little bit, but just with all the blonde highlights. He does, he does look a bit like that,

Dan: see him first from behind talking to the conductor. He goes, no, miss, it's this way.

Reegs: You're thinking, how is that guy? Yeah, blind.

Sidey: is, yeah, blind.

Dan: Because yeah, when when he does turn around, it's immediately obvious

Crs: Although in the 1800s, in the 1800s, there wasn't any, I don't know, all these makeup techniques for women and stuff. I don't think so.

Sidey: carriage. So, you would have had, you know, the

Crs: anyway, yeah.

Sidey: so but it does, it very quickly kicks off you know, getting shot at. I think there's a Gatling gun at one point.

Reegs: at. I think There's some cool stuff, more bullet time y type slow motion stuff and like you say, Holmes has planned ahead and put rounds, I think containing lipstick,

Sidey: He's put his lipstick in the the belt, the belt of ammunition. So he knows that will cause a jam. Yeah, and

Reegs: he's done the same thing to another guy who's got his rifle because he can see his initials on it or whatever on it as the guy fires it and it backfires and takes out a load of him so it's all pretty cool stuff.

Heavy on the action, though, this movie. I didn't expect quite so much action

Dan: from a Sherlock Holmes movie.

Yeah, there is a lot.

Sidey: So yeah. The, one of the ones when the, the gun jams Watson, 'cause he's a military man, a bit marksman. He's supposed to shoot through the bullet hole.

Yeah. And take the guy out, which he kind of does. But he fortuity. Fortuitously knocks a grenade. The guy's got a explosive, which he drops into a bag of other grs and can't find it.

Crs: Also, just before that, there is a scene where, when Holmes gets in the carriage. With m and Watson, there is a point where he throws her off a bridge.

Sidey: you trust me?

Crs: she says, no, . And then, and then he throws her off the train. Yeah. Off the bridge into the water.

Reegs: a

Dan: old way down

Reegs: road. It was,

Dan: And, and when, well the,

Crs: and you don't see, you don't see, you don't know what happens. You just see her being thrown outta the train.

Dan: what, yeah. Well what, Watson's fighting in the, in the carriageway, at the doorway. And when he turns back around, he's like, Right, we've finally got them arrested.

Reegs: the west.

Dan: He's kind of looking around for Mary and he can't believe it. Holmes is just saying, I timed it perfectly.

It's all I'm going to say. And Mycroft is down there picking him up, picking him up as a moment. It cuts to that scene afterwards.

Reegs: you nearly see Stephen Fry's dick. Yeah. When he's rescued Mary. Mary, that's right.

Crs: to his place.

Reegs: She's, like, going up the stairs,

Sidey: And Stephen Fry is just fucking

Dan: Oh, he's

Reegs: Completely bollocked naked.

Sidey: bollocko, and

Dan: All the manservants around are completely used to it, but

Sidey: Strategically placed like newspaper and stuff just to cover, but I've Well

Crs: he's got Sam

Reegs: newspaper and stuff just to like, 200 days old. Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: you do, I thought that you could See enough skin to know that he was probably naked.

Yeah, it did

Reegs: I agree, yeah. Like if you were wearing a pouch, it would be really low. Yeah,

Sidey: cuz you see enough like like the whole side of him to know that it wasn't just wearing pants

Reegs: know

Sidey: So there were either strategic covering or just thought fuck I was getting a slab out. Yeah

Crs: So

Dan: That was

Reegs: never know. If you're listening, Stephen, you could...

Crs: it's a, it's a, it's a funny, it's a funny scene though, and she, she acts really.

Incredulous really bend

Sidey: down and pick something up right near it.

Crs: Right next to him. But anyway, they, they do so,

Reegs: But it leaves homes and Watson to go off on honeymoon together.

Yes. To Paris, which is the city of love, obviously. And they're following the trail of Simsa, the

Crs: Fortune teller lady.

Reegs: teller from

Dan: That's their connection.

Reegs: And it's when they travel to meet her that they have that conversation. They're having a completely normal conversation about hedgehog goulash. And then Holmes just says something about Unlike you, Watson, I repress nothing.

It's like, alright, okay. Yeah, so they bicker and all that sort of stuff. And this is when he, Holmes examines the letters and drawings from Rene and he's able to deduce because it's got wine in the corner, which he licks that.

Dan: is

Crs: too thick

Dan: for such a...

Reegs: It's got to be, it's used for a printing press. It's got to be one that's near a winery or to somewhere that's still

Crs: a wine cellar, yeah.

Reegs: And so he deduces there's only seven and then one place that it could be. So we're off.

Crs: Well, the gypsy lady says she knows something and it's to do with some anarchist group called La Panva, which means the green rabbit, which is actually quite funny.

Reegs: Oh, lave.

Crs: Yeah. La Panva means the green rabbit. And I...

Ravash, Claude Ravash, I think is the name of the, of the guy. And she said that Rene, her brother, was close to their leader, to the guy. If he's still there or she, she can arrange a meeting and they go and see him. And he looks very French, proper moustache, drinking wine, you know, all this.

And on the way to meet him, there's... All these clues that we kind of see.

Reegs: Yeah, Holmes glimpses things and... But

Crs: don't really know, again, it's, it's, there's a few things that obviously after you watch the movie you realize, ooh, yes, or later on, but we do see all these little hints and clues that only he can see and he can make something out of them.

Yeah,

Sidey: And then this guy's the bomb maker, right? Yes. So they, they get a an audience with this guy hoping that he'll have some intel on where Rene is. And this guy turns out to be the one who made the bomb that we've seen earlier on in the movie. And he gives them some info before pulling out a gun.

And just fucking shooting himself there and then,

Crs: in the head.

In the head, yeah.

Sidey: he essentially, he says, look, I have to do what he, what he says, or,

Crs: He's got my family,

Sidey: family, you know, so I have to fucking do what he wants and Basically, I've fucking had enough, so he just fucking kills himself.

Reegs: Yeah,

Crs: just says no loose ends.

Reegs: but doesn't he say that there's also a bomb and you've got 10 minutes to find it as well?

There's one tonight

Crs: Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sidey: one.

Reegs: Yeah. Because then Holmes suddenly pieces together a load of this stuff, and we run off to the Paris Opera House, Don Giovanni, and we, there's a really tense scene as he rides, rises up through the stage. Yeah. And then suddenly music crescendoing as he opens.

Sidey: people and going backstage through everything till he eventually goes up to where he's, I think it's one of the drawings or something that he recognizes and he goes through or just finds a chess piece

Dan: got it wrong.

Sidey: and

Reegs: And he looks, opens a hole and there's Moriarty just smiling down at him.

Dan: I can't hear

Sidey: done. You

Reegs: Yeah. And he just, and he, as he comes out, he says, I made a mistake. Yeah.

Sidey: and I've made a huge mistake. Yeah,

Dan: he's not

Sidey: And as they tried to run across the plaza boom. Yeah. You've been, you've

Reegs: he realizes he's been sucker punched red herrings and blah, blah, blah.

And then, cause he did deduce, ah, it's actually at this

Dan: Moriarty is no, you know, he's, no, no, he's no mug. He's no usual foe.

Crs: Although they do end up quite quickly at the explosion scene where there was another peace conference or something similar to that at this hotel in Paris,

Sidey: G8 summit or whatever.

Dan: equivalent.

Crs: the equivalent to that.

And then they find that

Sidey: the wait instantly sees the bullet

Reegs: it's, yeah, exactly. Yeah, exactly.

Sidey: It so it, it's a disguised bomb

Reegs: It's an assassination

Sidey: this guy had to go

Crs: Something Meinhardt,

Reegs: Manheart. Yeah. Something like that. Man, mineheart.

Crs: Yeah. Well, I can't remember remember exactly what the, the other name was, but he, he was the guy that they made the room blow up or the hotel blow up just so they can shoot him in the head.

Yeah. And so

Sidey: and so this is how they figure out that the guy

Dan: what's

Sidey: What's his

Crs: Shelby? The Moran? Yeah.

Sidey: Moran. He's you know,

Crs: It's him,

Sidey: amount of marksman that could make

Crs: 600 yards with,

Reegs: away, they

Sidey: can see where he's had the tripod where he's put his cigarette.

Crs: and he smoked that, yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. And because both Watson and Moran of a kind of cool, relevant backstory now in that they were former soldiers in Afghanistan, that seems, you know, seems again strangely relevant. So,

Dan: The second Afghan war. Yeah.

Crs: Yeah. And that's why he says like, oh, what's that blend you all used to smoke in, in Afghanistan?

And he's like, oh. So that leaves us with

Sidey: would be Moran because he was the bet and he's a gun for hire. So he's working with Moriarty and so they, they know it's him. And so there's things, they start to piece things now fairly quickly.

Reegs: Yeah, it's straight away because he connects Moriarty to a purchase of minehards. He's industrializing

Sidey: all this.

Reegs: The machine of war.

Sidey: So with all this tension and, and fabricating all these explosions and blah, blah, blah. He's trying to push the war agenda along knowing and he later on, he explicitly says, you know, I've got the guns and I've got the bandages. So, you know,

Dan: and

Reegs: got the supply.

I just need to create the demand. Yeah.

Sidey: that's it.

So, the really comes to a point where they, they're in the. It's a note for the podcast, we did fucking an hour and ten already, so I'm just trying to like, push it along a little bit. There's

Reegs: along a little bit. A

Sidey: there, Dave. Little bit, but not too much. Anyway so they're in this, essentially like a huge warehouse of ammunition and guns and all the rest of it, and here it's where Moriarty does that thing where villains do where they kind of explicitly spell out the whole fucking plot.

But

Reegs: well, 'cause he thinks he's got Holmes dead to rights. He's got him hooked up on this meat hook thing and that's,

Sidey: that's bad. Yeah, it's the meat hook through the shoulder.

Crs: While he's singing an opera.

Reegs: It happens.

Sidey: the worst torture of all. German opera. But yeah, Holmes is literally suspended by the hook through the shoulder.

Watson's away doing something else. He's basically been shot at. Moran's right at the top of...

Reegs: It's a cool little scene. This where Moran is sniping him and Watson's taking cover and he realizes he is taking cover behind an enormous cannon that's pointed straight back at the watchtower, which he gradually loads and then fires back at him. And it falls.

Sidey: It's got a big tarp on it, hasn't it?

Reegs: Yeah. And as it winches around the snipers looking Yeah.

Yeah.

Dan: You can't get down quick enough. And yeah, all this time, Holmes is having this you know, fight and for survival, really.

In on the meat hook and it, he, he drops to the floor

Reegs: What's Moriarty gonna kill him?

Dan: And well, he gets up right closely. He whispers in his ear something and as we learn

Sidey: he's saying, who did you send, because he sent a telegram. Oh

Reegs: Oh, that's right. That's why he doesn't kill him. 'cause he needs to work that out.

Sidey: need to know who did you send that telegram to. And he whispers that he sent it to Mycroft.

That's right. But this, which we can just

Reegs: it's a ruse.

Sidey: a ruse because while he's up close, he does a little switcheroo.

Reegs: a

Dan: a switch a r with this everything. Diary.

Sidey: like the untouchables with the bookkeeper, everything.

Reegs: He's

Dan: got his phone.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah, he's got his iPhone, which in this case is a specific red notepad in his pocket that he is

Reegs: It's encoded.

Sidey: with an empire this enormous, even Moriarty needs to keep something to just

Dan: which he had noticed disguised looking at Moriarty, feeding pigeons in the park

Sidey: but we as

Reegs: We're not going to find this out until about another 40

Sidey: yeah and as the audience we don't know this immediately but for the purposes of where we are in the plot that's what that's kind of why Holmes has allowed this to happen and he's also sent a note to Watson saying if, if convenient, please come at once.

And then on the

Dan: If not

Sidey: not convenient, please come anyway.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: And, and so

Reegs: Home Watson's destroyed the Watchtower right at the crucial moment, saving homes going into Bury, they should have Morty was also buried in that

Dan: Yeah, they

Reegs: they'd just fucking shot the guy in the head.

Sidey: the good guys never do that shit, do they?

It's

Crs: Yeah,

Dan: that shit. No,

Sidey: have a, now, like a slow motion chase thing through the forest, don't they?

Reegs: an

Crs: think that was brilliant. Yeah, I thought that was very well shot.

Reegs: It's really visually and

Sidey: exploding next to them as they're running, it's very effective.

Crs: to them

Sidey: It's

Reegs: really inventive and good use of CGI and practical effects and momentum and movement of the camera.

Yeah. Great. And it

Crs: of slow motion, half quick movement. It's really cool,

Dan: And they start getting these massive kind of cannons out.

Yeah. Which just as they

Reegs: The size of the bullets that they're loading in that thing is just crazy.

Dan: Well, just as they get to the end, there's a special name for it, wasn't there? The, yeah. The

Reegs: The Hans or

Crs: get yeah, some German name,

Dan: we're gonna get

Crs: But then they run, they run and they get to a train. And, meanwhile, did Sherlock Holmes get shot?

Reegs: Yes. Yeah, because he gets the adrenaline.

Crs: Oh, yes.

Reegs: brought back to life with the, the dog, the wedding

Dan: we, we

Reegs: Exactly, he gives him the wedding present.

Dan: as they get onto the train. And everybody just about gets on one of the the, the, the helpers that have got them away just

Crs: die.

Dan: Right, right at the end. Just getting on the, on the train.

So it was a tough moment. It wasn't one of those, you know, it's one of those films for kids really, when they're, you know, there's a little bit older than that because they're proper, you know, said lots of action, lots of fighting, lots of guns

Crs: do die.

It's yeah.

Dan: themselves. So there's quite adult themes and everything in

Sidey: we go back to it, we're we're trying to trace this missing brother,

Reegs: Yeah, Rene. And

Dan: We've had

Sidey: We've had a doctor killed, we've had the bomb maker killed, we kind of know what he was all about. But still, the doctor, the surgeon rather, and...

Reegs: Wow.

Crs: I can't help

Dan: it's the moum.

Crs: Is it in there? It's just like one or

Reegs: only there.

Crs: the bottom.

Dan: It's just like one

Crs: to take a

Reegs: bottom.

Crs: out of it.

Reegs: Have to take a

Dan: or

Reegs: Yeah.

Crs: It's got your tally It's

Reegs: Charlie,

Dan: two, what you carry on. sad

Reegs: Can't have side's. A sound purist. He won't have

Dan: have it. No. Could

Crs: Could you not hold on another ten minutes?

Dan: We've been going on for so long, I couldn't, no.

Sidey: Don't have another

Crs: We have

Reegs: have another one!

Crs: Don't me a

Dan: I thought you said after I'm done.

Crs: Christ.

Sidey: one in your gov Fuck sake.

Crs: Fuck yeah. Anyway, yeah, they're on the train. They save his life.

Reegs: realizes that there's this peace summit and he knows that's inevitably an attack. And he also pieces together something that I'd observed, which was really strange,

Sidey: which is

Reegs: no, I'm sure you had as well, is that all the henchmen look the same.

They'd shot, they were like a pair of twins and then another pair of twins.

So it's like, these guys keep getting shot. And he this was really stretchy. It wasn't it. But he deduces that they've had facial reconstructive surgery. They were sort of attempts.

Sidey: guy. He

Crs: yeah. They had at the time, this guy

Sidey: must have been a real pioneer of this.

Because Rene is going to be a... an

Reegs: He's gonna have, he's gonna do a face off, basically. They're gonna do a, essentially, a face off.

Sidey: That was assassinated,

Reegs: was assassinated. Yeah.

Sidey: fake, well, the real explosion, there was a cover up for the guy that was assassinated at the G8 summit.

Reegs: was assassinated. Yeah.

Sidey: So they're going into Reichenbach. For something might happen there, I dunno.

Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah, it could be a place where something... Where

Sidey: there's the banquet ball thing going on.

Crs: But it's a peace conference as well.

Sidey: Yes.

Dan: Then Moriarty wants to destroy. He wants to create this war because As we know, he's got all the guns, he's got all the bandages, and he's just waiting for something to, to kick

Crs: and that's where they deduce and that's where they have another scene where they dance together and that's where they actually deduce. And that's where we find out that her Hoffman style, the first doctor that gets killed, he was actually a plastic surgeon or one of the first black plastic surgeons in the world because there's a guy with a scar.

That's a remarkable procedure. And then, oh, those twins weren't twins. And then now we know, and we, you We actually know that Rene, the lost brother, is going to impersonate one of the ambassadors.

Reegs: right. And they have to try and narrow it down even.

And she's like, well, they were all the same build and he's got somebody else's face. So it's

Crs: he's eyes, the eyes are maybe covered because they're not blue.

His eyes are normally blue.

Reegs: he's left handed, but he might be using his right to, to throw a fake to anybody who might be, you know, everything's every angle's been covered here.

Crs: Yeah, and then they, they... Holmes goes outside, sends a letter to Moriarty to meet him outside for a chess game, and they basically leave their, their aides, being Moran, and Watson, and the gypsy lady, Madame Simza, to discover, or to discover the...

The fate

Reegs: is left in the hands of their underlings while they play chess upstairs. So he puts all his trust in Watson to solve this just as Moriarty.

Well, he doesn't, that's his thing. He doesn't put quite enough trust in his man. Otherwise he would have won, but yeah, Watson does eventually sort of solve it kind of honestly, right. With about half a second to go

Crs: no one dies.

Dan: it,

Crs: makes a

Reegs: noise, everybody

Dan: kind of,

Reegs: around apart from. The guilty guy. Yeah. Who's obviously prepared, prepared

Dan: right

Reegs: for, for something

Dan: with about half a second to And that's how they identify him. She goes, Oh yes. And she appeals to him, didn't she? She appeals and says, Oh my...

Reegs: 'cause that's the smoking gun, the evidence that they need Rene. 'cause there's never been any evidence. 'cause 'cause he's the best friend of the prime minister and respected whatever he

Crs: and professor and everything, yeah, so... That's what they get, and then obviously he tries to shoot the French, because he said Germany will pay, so he tries to shoot the German Prime Minister or Ambassador or something.

Watson tackles him to the ground, he gets taken away, and while he gets taken away he, Colonel Moran again,

Sidey: again, gets in

Crs: the dart with Karare, which is one of the most lethal poisons ever invented. And he

Reegs: Watson

Sidey: tastes tastes.

Crs: Tastes, yeah. And then he spits it out straight away.

Reegs: homesick. Moriarty

Dan: Yes. Just to

Sidey: Anyway, Holmes. Yes, Holmes and Moriarty are doing that thing where they're playing chess, but really they're having sex or but but also they're, they're they're throwing barbs at each other and every chess move is like another like blow, you know, but Moriarty is walking around and still knows you know, I kind of like chess for that sort of stuff.

You know. Queen's porn or blah, blah, blah, blah but as, as he obviously, and Holmes just explicitly says, I knew you, you, it was when I, until I observed you feeding the pigeons and I saw you writing that I knew that even someone as brilliant as

Dan: you

Sidey: had to keep a record. So, then it goes back and it shows you how the the bit we had the is Me through his shoulder that he used that moment

Dan: his,

Sidey: to do the switch and then that's when it's all kind of revealed what it is but

Reegs: It was encoded in the horticulture book

Sidey: of see the rage like coming down on Moriarty where and he also says that we've used your book to and then it cuts to Mary with Lestrade now and they've gone through his vault and they've taken out every single penny that he's ever squirreled away

Crs: gonna give it to charity for the war

Sidey: so Moriarty Fucking erased, but it's still like, well, I'm still going to fucking have everyone killed.

You know, it's like, you're going to take everyone down. And, and so then we get back to what we've seen Holmes do throughout the movie, which is like preempt the fight

Reegs: mind fight

Sidey: and know how it's the fight is going to play out. But this time we get Moriarty going, ah, but I'm a fucking like decent scrapper as well.

And so it plays out differently. And then the fight kind of happens, but it doesn't, and essentially Holmes realises there's no fucking way that he

Reegs: It's a bit like that Doctor Strange ending where it's like, goes through a thousand different things and you're never gonna die, and never win.

And then so suddenly he's like, well.

Dan: Well he, well that's it, he can't win but he might not, he might not have to have the other guy win.

Sidey: win. Yeah, that's it. He doesn't have to win. The other guy just has to lose as well. So he just basically grabs him and puts his foot against the pillar and pushes them both off the...

Dan: as Watson's coming through to see that.

Reegs: Yeah. And they fall a long way.

Sidey: a long way down.

Yeah. And this was supposed to be where the story finished. This was the end of Conan

Reegs: Really? Oh, what, of Conan Doyle's original stuff? It

Sidey: original. It came back cuz it's like a, you know, such a public, a cry for more. Yeah. So, he did, he did bring it back but this was the original ending

Crs: this was the ending and they fall off a, of a fountain, like a waterfall. That is in the book as well, is a waterfall.

Reegs: Yeah. A bit

Dan: like Misery, you know. The public just said to him, demanded that they write another story.

Reegs: They drove a truckload of money to his house and he just did it.

Dan: And he did it.

Crs: And then we just, they, they just.

Show Watson writing, again typing at his typewriter and showing all these emotions and a great man and whatever and then Mary says we need to leave and he gets a parcel. While he, which is another one that we haven't discussed because there's so many details in this movie. Because they're focused on so many details.

And when he opens the parcel, there is a, pretty much what, it's an oxygen tank.

Sidey: it's some sort of breathing apparatus.

Reegs: That we saw him take from Mycroft. Yeah.

Crs: Which is odd. That's my personal supply of oxygen. And he Watson receives it. And then he just leaves the room to ask Mary, did the postman look any different? Was there anything strange to him? And then we have another proof of urban camouflage where he stands up from an armchair again, very, such a weird kind of.

It looks like a pyjama but

Reegs: he's wearing a sort of gimp

Crs: a sort of gimp mask, isn't

Dan: He's on like a red Chesterfield, isn't he? And he's in this kind of red Chesterfield spandex suit. And you just, I didn't see him. I had to rewind it.

Reegs: Yeah, I did it as well, I went back to see, can I

Dan: Could I see him

Reegs: can, sort of, if you

Dan: Only when you're really looking afterwards. Because there's an angle just over. His shoulder that shows down the hall as she's coming in. And he's just sat there. It's brilliant I I wish I'd have been dressed like that today when you came in

Crs: in.

Sidey: Yeah,

Crs: Yeah.

Dan: just Just come out of the bookcase It's a big budget

Sidey: for this was 125 mil.

Reegs: That's big,

Sidey: That's big, that's

Dan: it's a big

Reegs: it's big, yeah.

Sidey: What do you think?

Reegs: I think

Dan: these make money

Reegs: Oh

Dan: jr. Jude law

Reegs: Sherlock Holmes.

Dan: Wow, okay

Crs: How much? Sorry, can you...

Reegs: 5

Crs: Yeah, yeah, I thought

Sidey: there wasn't another one, but I suppose, you know, the second film in, and they've gone big with Moriarty and the, the Reichenbach. So there was, I

Dan: There'll be another, right? I'm sure.

Sidey: I think they would have done it by

Crs: I would imagine it's also difficult to get them again together. By all the actors and stuff, so...

Reegs: this

Sidey: 2000. It's 2011.

Dan: Yeah, so maybe they've missed the boat on this one.

Reegs: I think this was better than the first one

Crs: Yeah, I thought so too. Yeah, I

Reegs: It was quite a lot more action in this one. Which sort of worked really well in, it's quite a long movie.

It was over two hours.

Dan: Yeah, but I didn't feel like it dragged.

I felt

Reegs: I love the gay stuff as well. It was great.

Dan: the, the pace of it. Again, really you know, Guy Ritchie. It was he was a little bit more toned down You know how he did in some movies maybe just suited lots of cuts really fast goes he did that and he had those particularly with the the fighting scenes

Sidey: not, they're not fights like Jason Bourne where you can't really tell what's going on and you feel a bit seasick.

This was, it was pretty clear, but it still,

Dan: slow mode but yeah

Sidey: like it was good action. If you want to know about filmmaking being quite difficult, the 15 second on screen dance between Jude Law and, How do you say it, Naomi Rapace? Naomi Rapace. Yeah. That took three days to film. Wow.

15 seconds of footage. Really? Yeah, yeah. Get it

Dan: Get it right,

Crs: To be fair, the dancing, if you don't know how to dance, even if someone says to you, follow my lead, good luck with that.

If it's, especially the ball sequence, when everybody dances in the same sequence, around, around you, if you're by yourself, maybe you can get away with it, but... What, me and you?

Dan: We did the ballroom dancing once.

Reegs: me and you? No,

Crs: No. Oh, really? What, you don't remember that? Me

Dan: and the missus, we went for a, a lesson over here.

Reegs: Yeah, I remember you saying that, actually. What was that like?

Dan: It was good fun, actually. It was good fun. And it was,

Reegs: tango?

Dan: We, we didn't really get that far, to be honest. I spent the entire...

Time standing on it toes and, and her mind. But yeah, it was fun.

Sidey: This was fun, also.

Dan: This was fun. I, I

Reegs: I am going to have to concur though, I think the Jeremy Brett one, marginally, I enjoyed that possibly a bit more than

Dan: they're far superior. I mean, this is, this is like a toy, whereas the Jeremy, Brett is, is an antique.

You know, this is this is something that you can enjoy and you can, you know, go, but. The entire Granada series of the adventures and the return of Sherlock Holmes. And then I think there's the memoirs of Sherlock Holmes as well on that. They're all brilliant. Really, there's not a bad episode. But that was the midweek, so check out that.

But this is definitely worth a couple of

Sidey: well I find Danny Jr's always watchable. He's really good. I'm not such a huge fan of Jude Law, but he's good in

Reegs: he's good in it.

Crs: a huge fan of Jude Law, but he's good in it. He's good in it so much.

Sidey: You

Reegs: of go quickly

Sidey: over it,

Reegs: it's just like...

Well, the movie really quickly establishes Moriarty as a real, like, threat, and you know, there is actually a sense of danger, and that characters could go, and that sort of thing, so, yeah. That

Crs: could go

Reegs: Top notch. High, high

Crs: and that sort of thing,

Reegs: Check

Dan: it out.

Sidey: Sherlock homes in the 22nd century. It's a story that like gets ported around different time periods. Quite a lot, doesn't

Dan: Yeah everybody

Sidey: the elementary series, the Johnny Miller one, that's present day.

The Benedict come about some

Dan: character isn't it to have written

Reegs: Obviously, originally it

Sidey: was.

Dan: sir arthur conan. Yeah 18

Reegs: 18, well it seems, everything seems to be 1891, because this one starts in 1891 as well.

Sidey: Yes. 'cause it starts with the riken back.

Dan: Yeah, this is the the moment moriarty

Sidey: have

Dan: We've just seen actually who I have after I told you the final Problem is the last one of the Granada series and it ends here at Reichenbach Falls and where this one starts and you see a cartoon Moriarty dressed as somebody else. Watson goes back because he needs.

Somebody needs a doctor in the town, that gets rid of Watson, and it's just them two. And Holmes then goes and says, well Moriarty, aren't you going to show me yourself? How did you know it was me? I mean, this is

Sidey: got a shit disguise on, basically.

Dan: this is a big draw, and that's what he basically says, isn't it? Eyes and brain, he gives him and says, well, look, you're A massive guy who's pretending to be old and...

Reegs: Oh, he recognizes his gates. Cause he, he can see that he's pretending to be stooped

Sidey: clothes, he close are too small.

I can see his sweating, blah, blah, blah, blah. So this is obviously animated most of the animation style. Sort of reminiscent of well, it actually Bravestar because there's a point about that. So that kind of well, mysterious cities of gold type

Reegs: Braveheart

 

Dan: it comes into this, this moment when they both fall off the the,

Sidey: Possibly

Reegs: The falls. Yeah,

Dan: falls and they keep falling and they're

Reegs: they're dead. That's

Dan: and that's

Sidey: it.

Reegs: Yeah. They plummet over the waterfall. They're both declared dead. And Watson sheds a little tear. If I remember correctly.

Dan: best friend and yeah, there's a

Sidey: blobs. Yeah, he blobs onto his parchment

Reegs: And now we're in the future. It's May 25th, 2103.

Sidey: Yeah.

Lara the police family connection

Dan: Yeah, Lestrade, the Lestrades are still police, but now they've... Become a little more female

Sidey: in the future. So woke now. So it's a girl

Dan: And and she's quite hot and she's got a robot watson.

Reegs: and this predates IBM's Watson, which of course was the supercomputer that powered Jeopardy.

But this predates that, so that's pretty cool, because he's a hulking robotic AI in this.

Dan: He is. And one there, there's some strange moment where Rad is kind of interviewing a

Reegs: a

Dan: villain

Reegs: She's on the trail of Martin Fennig, who's apparently Moriarty's right hand man, I don't know. But he is on a parole violation and she's chasing him down.

And he seems to have, he's undergone this process called... KP Nosis or something. It's like a clockwork Orange. Yeah. It's like a clockwork orange. I think we really should, the, the, the TV series doesn't really strongly debate the ethics of brainwashing prisoners into not committing

Dan: crime. Well, we're in, we're in the future. They also mention how everybody, a little bit later, how everybody has D N A samples. Everybody is. Everybody's got that.

How can

Reegs: he, everybody for the last hundred years has their d n a on a

Dan: Unless he was before 100, maybe 200. So what has happened is, is a henchman of Moriarty has somehow got free and it breaks into 221b Baker Street to get

Sidey: it's a museum

Dan: Yeah, which is a museum that nobody really visits anymore

Sidey: said it's closed due to lack of funding and lack of visitors.

Dan: right. Yeah. So, the Sherlock, the Sherlock legend is, is almost ending in, in this kind of mythical future.

And he, he gets Moriarty's clothes. He manages to get away from Lestrade and Watson who are hot on the, the trail but can't get there. And then she has the bright idea of of bringing back Watson. No, bringing back Holmes. It's a little bit later though, isn't it? It's a chunk I've missed.

Sidey: Not really. I

Dan: It's about it.

There was...

Sidey: mean, pretty quickly, yeah.

So for some reason, they preserved Holmes body in honey.

Reegs: It's a

Dan: Yeah!

Sidey: the

Crs: the

Sidey: Because it doesn't spoil, I

Reegs: doctor

Dan: Well, that's what the doctor said. A doctor who can do this is only helping to prove that he didn't

Reegs: He wasn't involved in the cryptnosis thing.

Dan: Yeah, an evil mastermind has been, work and basically the computer that the police have Controls everything all the flying cars all the banks everything

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: Well essentially it's just like an elaborate plot device to port the

Reegs: To bring back Holmes

Sidey: Watson characters into a different time period. Yeah,

Dan: And

Reegs: they do This

Dan: is the origin episode. So

Reegs: there's a lot of heavy lifting

Dan: there's a, yeah, there's a little bit, we find that what's

Reegs: think it's important not to Wakes up Yeah

Dan: away. He's like

Reegs: He's fine

Dan: Sherlock Holmes at your service.

Sidey: Not a problem.

Reegs: He doesn't seem to be at all fazed by the notion that everybody he knew was dead.

And he's like a man displaced in time by, like, more than 250 years.

Sidey: If he'd have had some money in the bank, the amount of interest he would have earned on

Reegs: If

Sidey: that would have been, you know, exponential.

Reegs: you know, exponential. Yeah. If they'd kept his account open, though, because I think they can close, can they close your account?

Crs: though, because I think if it's Barclays, they'll close it straight away.

Reegs: Yeah, well, there you

Crs: Two months later, you're done.

Sidey: There is a discussion about that in an episode of Star Trek Next Generation, anyway.

Okay.

Dan: Yeah, well, Sherlock would have had an answer I'm sure, and he's got an answer here because he is the one person that can take down Moriarty.

Sidey: You would have thought that over that period of time that people would have studied Holmes techniques and there would have been other people who would have taken on board

Dan: Yeah, but

Crs: there's only one Sherlock Holmes, though.

Dan: only one Sherlock. And he, he goes to kind of prove it by making various observations and clever calls. Again, he saves everyone's life by turning the hover car onto autopilot just at the right.

Reegs: right time. Some really thrilling CGI

Sidey: Yeah. And yeah, this kind of episode soon

Reegs: comes to, to an end. Well, there's a big con, there's a tease that it's Moriarty, but we don't, something that Holmes says makes me think that it might, you know, he's got a deeper understanding of what might be happening here.

And there's a big bit at the end where he does reveal. So is it him? And because Moriarty's going after the super computer, that's gonna disable everything, but he foils his plan and, you know, The next adventure will begin. These are based essentially like porting the story on Sherlock Holmes. Yeah. Did you notice that

Dan: Yeah. They'll go for, I mean, the, the, the books are so clever. You know, the plot lines are so clever. They're simple, but, fantastical

Sidey: they've got sort of

Reegs: sort of

Sidey: fantastical

Dan: twists and turns in the stories that they do work on so many different levels. I mean whether this You know to take him into a spaceship and start going around Is his Fantastic as you can probably ever imagine him being, but I don't remember seeing these as a, as a kid. This was just, this was just but it's the kind of thing I've probably been interested in

Reegs: were probably a bit, we were probably a little bit old because it was just on the cusp of the 2000s, wasn't it?

Sidey: Oh God, we were way too old, yeah. We'd left school.

Reegs: but it was by Dick Entertainment who have pedigree. They did mysterious cities of gold and SSEs 31 and Inspected Gadget

Sidey: well, this was, this is what I read online that this, the original pilot for this series was a two part episode of Brave Star. But Brave Star was,

Crs: set

Reegs: in New Texas or New Mexico or something.

Crs: well

Sidey: it sounds

Dan: was set I can see the connection there, you know, the detective in the future with various kind of things, but having, having Sherlock lost City of Gold, I mean, as you say, it's a, there's a pedigree to it. It's the kind of thing that, you know, I might have watched as a kid and enjoyed.

Sidey: The visual style where they, they attempt some

Reegs: CGI.

Sidey: I mean that has done it no favours over the years because it looks very dated. Whereas the animation is still

Reegs: The rest of it's really good. I think it's good design, good

Dan: funny though. They've experimented with that, that CGI at that time. And just, it looks totally bizarre. But it, you know, it's something different again.

Reegs: It it's something definitely about the character that lends itself to reinterpretation or reimagination or, you know, it's enduring, isn't

Sidey: of mystery and trying to solve the puzzles, that sort of thing is quite

Reegs: it's the fact that he's got his arch nemesis and you know, the little details as well about Holmes that we haven't really talked about.

His drug addiction and all of his other stuff

Dan: Yeah. He is complex heavily into

Sidey: and all this

Dan: Yeah. No he's o I guess it's opium pipe out and everything.

Sidey: It's like, you know, Batman and, and the Joker and other, other things of that nature.

You, those great villain hero stories that, you know, they're timeless really.

Dan: And yeah, I, so,

Reegs: This was alright, wasn't it?

Dan: was, it was all right. I think, yeah.

Reegs: I think if you'd had nostalgia for it, you'd love it.

Sidey: Yeah. But I didn't.

Dan: Oh, So we've come to an end of another pod, but I think we've got some recommendations

Sidey: We're fucking on it this week, we're really, really ahead

Dan: Look at us.

Sidey: So

Dan: Look at the drip.

Crs: Yeah, drip tight.

Sidey: Pete's been unavailable, but he is going to be around next week. And so he's hit us up with some prehistoric,

Crs: he also bringing some cheese next week?

Sidey: I would have thought so because we haven't had any for ages.

But the, do we want to, do you want the norms

Dan: Yeah, let's hear

Sidey: Well, the midweek was still to be confirmed, but it was a. toss up between one million years BC or one of our dinosaurs is missing and that's got some pretty age like opinions that were of their time or whatever it is that people describe racist stuff the main feature is 65 which is the adam driver thing top five dinosaurs and kids is jurassic park camp cretaceous

Dan: the theme? What's he going for?

Sidey: I don't know actually, it's hard to work it out.

So that's good, so

Dan: in next time.

Sidey: almost exactly what we're going to be watching next week.

Dan: Well, it sounds good. I'm up for it, if you are.

Sidey: what we also did is that we recorded an episode, our KPAX episodes visually as well, as well as just

Reegs: Yes, you can see what we actually look like, the freaks that

Sidey: what I would say is if you want to find that that's on YouTube I think we're at baddads1403,

Dan: think we're

Crs: baddads1403,

Sidey: which I need to change.

But if you just search for bad dad's film review on YouTube, you

Dan: not enough that your ears bleed, you want your eyes

Sidey: Yeah, well, it really, it's just a technical experiment that one. So we're not like really putting that out as, as

Reegs: Yeah, because you told me that there's a part where I have my arms

Sidey: You're doing a Christ

Dan: Yeah,

Sidey: you did it.

I was watching you do it tonight. Again,

Dan: you could, if you could, yeah, I look like a clock at one point. I wonder if because Howie did a little kind of,

Sidey: he did a total

Dan: call it? Yeah, he put me in a wheelchair,

Sidey: Oh, that one. Yeah. So we'll do that.

Dan: And I wonder if somebody could do, turn Reeds into Christ or something along

Sidey: lines.

That's

Dan: those lines,

Crs: That's also called a power pose, by the way, so.

Sidey: so we filmed really just to see if we could do it. And going forward that's something we want to try and explore. But if you want to see what the man cave looks like, as well as what Dan looks like in a wheelchair

Reegs: missus said it's too chaotic.

Sidey: What is? The man

Reegs: cave, yeah.

Sidey: Well, she can get her own man cave and

Reegs: Fair enough,

Sidey: how she likes.

Reegs: yeah,

Crs: Fair enough, yeah.

Dan: I'd agree with that.

Sidey: Yeah, so there you go, but all that remains for now is to say Sidey signing out. Rita,

Crs: sorry for sounding out.

Dan: Dan's gone.