Feb. 24, 2023

The Greatest Showman & Captain Planet and the Planeteers

The Greatest Showman & Captain Planet and the Planeteers

This week’s show sees the Dads in the swanky new surroundings of Project 52, with dreamboat/heart-throb Cris replacing that other fella who used to join us sometimes. The old guy, can't remember his name. Whilst he may lack his own offspring, and let's face it one of us more than compensates for him, Cris is a fan of the fissure so we break him in roughly by compiling a list of the Top 5 Cracks in movies.

THE GREATEST SHOWMAN was a 2017 musical smash hit telling the story of P.T. Barnum, visionary showman and entrepreneur, who rose from poverty to create a worldwide sensation with his circus. Both my kids adored the film and soundtrack and I have too many happy memories intertwined with it to keep any kind of critical distance, so I only see the energetic choreography, dynamic camera work, old school charm of Hugh Jackman and Zac Efron and inspiring themes of embracing diversity, the pursuit of your dreams, overcoming adversity, the power of imagination and self-acceptance. Bad Dad Peter agrees, sharing a personal connection to the magic of the film with one of his many children whilst some of the Dads saw this as a problematic example of historical whitewashing, with the at times ruthless huckster Barnum reframed as a kindly progressive, completed by below average songs. So a strong recommend from everyone then.
This week's kids review goes to show that a strong theme tune doesn't compensate for crude character designs, repetitive action sequences, one-dimensional characters based on lazy stereotypes and heavy-handed environmental messaging in 90's animated tv series CAPTAIN PLANET AND THE PLANETEERS, with the green-mulleted hero portrayed as a preachy, sanctimonious supermansplainer with all the charm and charisma of a compost heap. Well intentioned and with a cast including former Trekkers Whoopi Goldberg and LeVar Burton, its depressingly relevant themes can't excuse the fact that this light entertainment was light on any actual entertainment and therefore more likely to inspire environmental apathy than activism.

We love to hear from our listeners! By which I mean we tolerate it. If it hasn't been completely destroyed yet you can usually find us on twitter @dads_film, on Facebook Bad Dads Film Review, on email at baddadsjsy@gmail.com or on our website baddadsfilm.com.

Until next time, we remain...

Bad Dads


The Greatest Showman

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, the podcast where a group of dads who gave up their hopes and ambitions and traded them for dirty nappies and sleepless nights attempt to try to rekindle their love of cinema by catching up on all those movies we missed during the baby raising in years.

We'd like to remind you that this podcast is not for the faint of heart, and we do mention some spoilers and use explicit words. So if you are easily offended, well let's part ways now for everyone else, grab a tissue and get ready for this week's show, which starts off with us having what I'm sure will be a very mature conversation about the top five cracks in movies and tv.

Before we move on to discuss our main feature, the Greatest Showman where we try to find out whether incredible songs and great performances compensate for troubling subtext in problematic historical whitewashing. And we'll be finishing things up with a look back at classic nineties Animation Captain Planet and the Planeteers, which made me want to recycle my own brain, And if all that was not enough, here are the dads to introduce. Starting with the ever reliable sidy who once rescued a kitten from a burning building using only a spatula, and has almost perfected the opening riff of sweet child of mine on the air guitar. That right

Sidey: Simon? Yeah, I've been working hard on that.

Reegs: We also have Peter, the enabler for this week's content.

And the man who has so many children, he's pretty much breeding solely for the tax relief at this point. And joining us for the first time ever is Chris promoted from researcher to part-time bad dad while we scrape the bottom of the barrel in Dan's absence. One thing that's probably not gonna be immediately obvious to listeners is that Chris is a pretty good looking chap, isn't he?

Let's be fair. Yeah.

Cris: He's probably the

Pete: best looking guy here now.

Reegs: Yeah. I think he's probably increased the bad dad's good looking content side. You say his only fan stuff is a delight,

Sidey: Yeah. Well worth the 15 pound a month subscription.

Cris: I'm not doing that anymore.

Reegs: So, but thanks Chris, and you've invited us into our new.

Surrounds for this week's podcast. The plush surrounds P 52, project 52.

Cris: Yeah. Welcome.

Reegs: It's pretty cool here,

Sidey: it? It's glorious.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. We, we briefly touched on it in the midweek mention, but it's a serious upgrade on the man cave.

Yeah. And it means now, I mean, the only reason we suffered Craven for such a long time was because of his venue.

Reegs: Yeah. He's gone

Pete: he can get to fuck. Yeah.

Sidey: And he's still bugging us with relentless, sunny photos of Thailand

Reegs: pictures of things looking amazing in the sun. Yeah. Thanks for that, Dan. Yeah. But we are in here and we've got like, it's helpful for the listeners, I think, to know that it's

Sidey: I've taken some photos for, for socials. Yeah.

Reegs: It's a giant picture of a cat.

Sidey: There's another one out there.

Reegs: Oh yeah.

Pete: think that might be a panther,

Sidey: sex panther.

Pete: Yeah. real 60% of the time. Yeah, it works every time.

Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: it's lovely surroundings.

Sidey: Yeah. Comfy chairs, booze, cheese. What

Pete: Oh yeah. We're amaretto biscuits.

We are living the dream. Yeah.

Cris: Yeah.

Sidey: Pete. You nominated, but did you actually watch anything else this week? Did you have time?

Pete: I, I have been watching things while I haven't been on for months now, but so I've been watching lots, so I go through everything. So the things that I have watched that are worth mentioning is I have finished the second season of Alice Borderland.

Dunno, have anyone watched that yet? I dunno. Which came for, it's, it is quite Squid Games E although it's

Sidey: the first series was before Squid Games.

Pete: Right. So, This is a Japanese one. And it's becoming cre. It's become quite, kind of difficult to follow, but it is, fuck it. You'd like it rigs. It's really like brutally like fucked up and Yeah.

Horrible. Yeah. But because I've been in it, I don't mind it, so I don't, yeah. I'm in it. Because I've been into it like from, from the start, and this has now been 16 episodes. So unlike horrors where it doesn't give you time to kind of necessarily build up like a, a rapport with the characters and, and give you all of like the, you know, like all of the context and everything like that.

So then when it goes like, seriously horrible and brutal, I can kind of like stomach it a little bit, like Game of Thrones and everything. I'm, I'm, I'm so invested into it that I can almost like forgive the nasty stuff that I sometimes look away

Reegs: You want these people to feel really rounded before they're brutally dispatched.

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's, yeah, it's, it's a good, good series. I, I recommend it. And then the other thing that I've got onto the, the miss put me onto, actually, she watched the season of it and then said that we should watch it together, is the sinner. It's on Netflix. It's

Reegs: Is that the Bill Pullman.

Pete: Bill Pullman is, is the, the main guy in it. And he's the only sort of constant throughout, apparently. So I've watched the, with halfway through the second season of it, the first one, and she's an executive producer on it, but Jessica Beal, B b l Beal,

Sidey: miss Mrs. Timberlake.

Pete: fucking hot. Yeah. And in the first season, like, I mean, is that spoiler alert?

Reegs: weird bit beginning down by the lake

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Basically she's just like, start hacking some guy to bits on the beach for seemingly no reason whatsoever. And then, and then the rest of the seas and, and they're all like that basically something happens at the beginning and then it kind of like unravels why they've done that.

But yeah, there's like, there's. This is, it is quite full on. And there's a, there's a scene in which she like, basically like fingers her own sister, which is pretty hot. Wow. So highly recommend that

Reegs: Oh, she's got disability, hasn't she?

The sister, is that right? Or is that a different

Pete: kind of Yeah, yeah. An illness.

Yeah, she's got a lung. So she's got yeah, she's got an illness. But she gets fingered by her sister. Sorry, I'll talking now.

Sidey: Chris, have you been,

Cris: Unfortunately, I've watched the Pamela Anderson thing. Oh. No. Because of my girlfriend, obviously I wouldn't want to use, although I have seen the initial tape of Pamela Anderson.

Yeah, I've, the first one, the, the one that I thought was brilliant. This one was a little bit sad and

Reegs: I thought you meant the original video where she was

Pete: getting

Cris: Yeah, yeah. That one. Not, not, yeah, that

Pete: Lee Jones or Tommy Lee. Tommy Lee.

Sidey: the Sebastian Stan one.

Cris: Do

Sidey: one that's

Reegs: Yeah,

Cris: Yeah. It's on Netflix.

No, no.

Sidey: Lily James.

Cris: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. But yeah, I've watched, I've watched that and I think just beginning of this week again, me and my girlfriend finished watching sex education. Oh, that's good. Oh, that's good. Which, yeah, which was, was actually quite funny.

Reegs: And he's the new doctor who as well.

Cris: Yeah, I heard that.

Yeah. Which again is, I don't really have time for television.

Sidey: up to date with if completely up to date with sex education?

Cris: Well, I finished it,

Sidey: right? So the girl that he's with in series three, the bitchy

Pete: I've not seen this. He's spoiling it.

Sidey: The Netflix thing? Yes. Yeah. So the girl that he's with, not, not the one that he's been with, been trying to get

Cris: with Yes.

Yeah. The, so the

Sidey: super hot, no,

Cris: Yeah. The one with the tits and that, and

Sidey: They're, they're getting along and they're having sex and whatever, and then she's on the phone and she says, oh, I love

Cris: you. Yeah. He

Sidey: it. I'm like, no, teenage boy would not say I love you, just to continue having sex with her. Yeah. And I, I was out. I fucking, I was, I'm, I've never got over that. She's so hot. And I won't have to be in the series all the time. I'm fucking, I'm still annoyed about

Cris: it. Well, to be fair, the, the, the ending or the the ending of it is, was just a bit

Sidey: Well, I think I think the girl, the main actress who looks like Margo Robbie, I think they're gonna struggle to keep having her in the show. I think she's,

Reegs: she's

Cris: she's gonna a bit too big. Yeah. Yeah. And I've watched that.

Reegs: They all are, to be honest though, because they're all really good. They, they

Cris: great people. Yeah. They've been, they've been really good. And I've watched that Death on the Nile. Oh,

Sidey: okay. I've started that. Yeah.

Cris: Which have to say I wasn't really impressed. I, I, I, I have to say it was in a way, very similar to, to what we were speaking about new Jack City, where it was very slowly delivered.

Pete: Yeah.

Cris: E every line, everything was, was you could kind of see it. And it's almost like a theater rather than a movie.

Sidey: Actually it does have that feel

Cris: But, and, and that's. All I really watched. Really? No

Reegs: No

Sidey: We did quite a lot, quite a lot of TV this week. Clarkson's Farm.

Pete: Oh, I've got that ready to watch.

Reegs: such a prick. No,

Pete: Oh.

Sidey: was just about to say, even if you like, don't like Clarkston, cuz the stuff he's doing is actually relevant and important, you could say.

And it is quite funny. There's one bit where he is, you've not seen

Pete: it. I've not seen the second

Sidey: there's one bit where, so they've got the potatoes and he is got the mandolin. He like, well he is obviously not gonna like, and he does, he does three things and fucking whack and it's not faked for tv.

It's fucking horrendous. Like it's down to the bone. He has to go to have plastic surgery, his finger. So we watched that. 1923. We're still getting strong with. We watched well, we started Harry Potter again today, and we

Reegs: God.

Pete: Oh my gosh.


Sidey: what was the other movie? Oh, we watched Jurassic Park Dominion yesterday.

How's that? Fucking

Pete: stinker

Reegs: all I've heard is bad.

Sidey: It's completely trash. Strong recommend for me.

Reegs: Oh, I watched Mortal Combat, actually. Oh,

Sidey: Oh, okay. Yeah, you did. I saw you tweeted about it. Yeah. It's great, isn't

Reegs: it? It's Well, but they don't get to the tournament. I can't believe it. I watch the whole movies. I, well, I'm not gonna watch them do the tournament.

Sidey: They do a bit in, in Jurassic Park where there's a circular bit of scenery and a TX actually walks past it and like pauses. It's got the logo. You like,

Reegs: amazing. Yeah. But Spielberg did that in the original though, didn't he? With the pulling the

Pete: saw, I saw that. I've just remembered. I saw that on a plane in October. Yeah. And that's how forgettable it was. The fact that I've only just remembered that I've seen

Sidey: There's more locust content in it than, than dinosaurs. Like, what the fuck? But last night, so the message was quite hungover. She went to bed really early, so I started watching Yellow jackets.

Reegs: Oh, it's good,

Sidey: Isn't, oh man, I'm fucking loving it.

Reegs: I I was

Sidey: in already. Yeah, yeah. It's so good. And I've seen it's been, it's been renewed for another two series. Yeah. So I dunno how it ends, but I'm hope it's not like

Reegs: that got me through Covid.

I think

Sidey: think it's, yeah, I think you, I think even you'd like that, Pete. It's really good. Yeah. Really, really

Pete: Is it, do you know what I, I noticed that because it popped, you'd been watching on the Naughty Box, haven't you? Yeah. So it popped up and I was like,

Sidey: like, so

Pete: seen this. It must've been inside.

Sidey: high school. It's a girls' high school football team who crashed land on the way to some big tournament. Yeah. And they're stranded for 19 months.

And you, you see how they end up for, at the start, it shows you like how completely, Lord of the flies, like ferre, all they've gone and then it's like flashbacks flash forwards to their

Pete: okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reegs: years later and all of

Sidey: the, and, and people are like, so what? What happened when you're out there?

What happened? And, and they're like, well,

Reegs: it's got Melanie Linsky in it and Christina, it's got loaded like actresses who were childhood stars, but as Christina adults in it now and then a different generation playing the young, it's like clever casting.


Sidey: Ricci is like fucking great and her character is

Reegs: She's insane. She's absolutely bonkers.

Sidey: So that is a strong recommend. Yeah. So there we go.

Reegs: Yeah. That is good though.

Sidey: We had a top five from last week. Did we? And yeah, we did. Which was animated characters and, we did have a few submissions. Mav had Canda, Canada. Canada from Akira Shek from Lion King Miles morale.

Reegs: Oh yeah.

Sidey: from the Spider Verse movie, which we watched a hiccup from How To Train Your Dragon, which my daughter loves. She would, should be put for that. Coraline Kiki from Kiki's Delivery Service.

Reegs: Oh, that's a good one.

Sidey: And the major from Ghost In the Shell.

Reegs: These are some good NUMs aren't they

Sidey: asked, asked to do some point a Claymation top five.

Pete: Oh,

Reegs: do you remember the snares fighting game where it was like clay characters, but what was that clay fighter or something?

Pete: This was any an amazing character like

Sidey: Yeah, it was a bit too broad to be

Pete: is a, that's a broader obviously

Sidey: So we, on on Air, we decided that we weren't gonna allow stop motion. We thought that could be a category of its own. So, yeah. And Toothless from Hat Australian Dragon, this is Darren Lethally. Benny from the Lego movies. I think Mars More Morales is a good shout.

Reegs: Yeah, there were a few good ones in there.

Sidey: Hmm. My daughter would like hat string dragon Fuck. Mars Morales

Pete: Right.

Sidey: week's top five. As inspired by the mid weeker. Actually

Pete: it was indeed

Sidey: a way. Yeah. Top five cracks. Yeah.

Reegs: It was crack brackets cracks, wasn't it?

Pete: That's, I I've actually written it as crack slash Okay.

Reegs: S All right.

Pete: But yeah, exactly. Your, your way is is is better

Sidey: interpreted any way you,

Pete: like, interpreted any way you like.

I like to, as you know, I like to try and do themed tweak, but I couldn't be asked to think of a theme that would run right the way through everything. But after New Jack City, I thought crack because that features heavily in it. But then I thought, wow, there's, there's quite a lot of ways to interpret a crack or cracks in a film.

Yeah. And yeah, it, in fact, I, I started researching and then realized there was probably about like eight or nine subcategories that, that we could cover off. I'm sure lots of us have.

Reegs: I, I. people are gonna, you know, think of Jersey and they'll know that it's a pretty gang tough place full of

Pete: the hood, you know?

Reegs: Yeah. And they'll, you know, they'll have a stereotypical mind that we are badass and all that stuff. But I did actually have to look up exactly specifically what crack was.

Sidey: Right. Okay.

Reegs: So, and it is just cocaine, but cooked with baking soda so that when it hardens, it goes into like a crystallized form so that you can smoke it.

And so it's the method of ingestion that makes crack more. So did you know that or

Pete: has anyone here done crack? No, no.

Cris: I've seen it, but I've never done

Pete: it. I've never done it. I'd like to give it a whirl, if I'm honest. Yeah. I'd like to try everything at least once. Not, not ev absolutely everything. I just mean like drug related.

I'd give it a whirl.

Sidey: Well, we didn't bring any tonight, unfortunately.

Pete: No, no. Maybe next week. Yeah. Okay. . But yeah, so I think probably there's gonna be quite a lot of. The smoking of crackers in the drug that, that features in this. But I'd like to kick off with a, a different interpretation, which is cracks in the cracks between floorboards and specifically cuz this was one of the first things I thought of when I started reaching out in my mind to, to other cracks.

And the first, first thought that came to me with that is the, I think, opening scene or certainly one of the opening scenes of In glorious Bastards. Yeah. Which where it's just a fucking it's just a powerhouse of a scene with Christoff Waltz. It's not Kristopher, is it? Christoff Waltz coming in.

He's looking, he's a Nazi looking for Jewish people in France. Yeah. Comes in, I think he has like a glass of milk and he does that so well where he is like, kind of seemingly harmless. But he's a, a, a vicious, violent maniac, but without ever doing anything. You know, aggressive or, you know, it's, it's incredible how he, how he does that in, in a lot of his films.

And this scene in particular, it's horrible because it builds up the tension. You've got this poor, like French guy who's who sat there and he, and he does his thing of like going through all the languages of him, seeing which one he, he, he's happiest, conversing in and so on.

Reegs: Yeah, he speaks to him flawless French and English and

Pete: Yeah, yeah. Just goes through his whole like, range of, of, of acting skills in, in this one scene. But obviously there are some Jewish people that are hiding underneath the, the floor in this in this house farmhouse that's in the middle of nowhere. And this scene probably about five minutes long, but it builds up the tension.

And he just basically lets the guy know at some point that he knows that there are, cuz he changes the languages so that they can't understand what he's, he's talking about underneath the floor there. And you, you've got a couple of shots of like, People looking up through the floorboards and stuff.

And and then eventually he, he pretends like he's, he's going out, but he's actually opening the door. And some of the, you know, the, the German guys come in and then they just start shooting shooting it like, you know, not just through the cracks of the floorboards, but through the, through the floorboards themselves.

And then you see one of the people just kind of like scurrying underneath the floor was through, through the cla, through the cla through the cracks, which you can see. And this is Shan?

Cris: Yeah. The girl, yeah.

Pete: like the, the heroin of the piece. And and then at least that scene where she manages to escape.

And it never, it, it never sort of, I never really understood why he just basically lets her go and watches her just run off across the field. And he shouts out oi

Cris: oi

Pete: like in a really sinister way.

Cris: And then

Pete: that's it. She's gone. And years later this she's still at large and comes back into the, into the story. But unbelievable scene.

I know we've done a lot of Tarantino coverage on this, on this pod, but I don't know if we've spoken about that scene in particular. That's brilliant. Much at all. And it is, I thought it'd be a, a strong place to open.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Cris: the music for that scene is very

Pete: good. Yeah. It builds the tension, but yeah. Yeah.


Cris: and, and it, it's, it's really interesting how they've done that.

Sidey: Yeah. I'd never seen

Pete: Christoph

Sidey: Waltz before until then.

Pete: Oh, do you not?

Sidey: No. And you're like, I want an introduction.

Reegs: Yeah. An

Pete: Yeah. Stormer. Yeah. Yeah,

Anyone got any other cracks between floorboards specifically?

Sidey: There's the one from the Ghost story, which is the wall, isn't it?

Pete: Yeah. Oh,

Sidey: the thing in the wall.

The message that's been left.

Reegs: Oh, that's good. Yeah.

Pete: between like the plaster and the, and the,

Sidey: between the plaster

Pete: And the coving, yeah.

Reegs: for, you know, basically the,

Sidey: an eternity. Eternity, yeah. Yeah, yeah. There was that one. And then I think there's a Twin Peaks one where Audrey Horn is looking through and watching her dad and the me, I can't remember.

That's Stewart

Reegs: a

Sidey: picture, like the, you know, the comedy eyes in the picture, or? It is actually just, I think it might be a crack in the wall. Yeah,

Pete: it is. Yeah.

Sidey: Says that one, it's gotta get a bit of Twin

Reegs: Oh, well, does, I mean, very similarly, does porkies count when he puts his dick through the hole? I

Pete: That's a, that's a glory hole. That's, that's the shower, isn't it?

Yeah. Yeah. That's like

Reegs: if it's a crack, really, but

Pete: yeah, it

Sidey: mentioning.

Pete: it can, there's, yeah. Porkies might in fact come up later on in this when we think of other types of crack that we could possibly reference. Right. Which way are we going?

Reegs: Yeah, I dunno. It's Chris, go. What have you got for us

Cris: as a crack in the wall.

I don't have one on the floor, but the crack in the wall that I remember, I've seen a terrible movie once called R I P D.

Reegs: Oh yeah. It's dreadful. It's like they copied man in black, everything about it except the good bits.

Cris: Yes. And and Reynolds. Yeah. Which I thought it was in theory, I think it's a. It's a funny idea, but the movie itself was

Sidey: They're still talking about sequel to it.

Really? Yeah.

Cris: Why

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: Anyways, sorry. That's just my opinion. But the, all these creatures have a, have a talisman or a pendant or something, and when you take that off, they either crack themselves and turn into otherworldly humans. Yeah. But there's a scene where Kevin Bacon, who we are all familiar from the EE commercials,

Sidey: and

Cris: not from his cinematography career, but he, he is one of these characters and he's in, in a house.

And then the R I P D goes there and and they break the pendant from his wrist and the whole house kind of cracks open. So I thought that was probably the only memorable scene. There's two actually. There's that one and there's the. In, in this movie, people can see the dead people. Let's say Ryan Reynolds and Jeff Bridges as Ryan Reynolds is a little Chinese old man, old Chinese man.

And Jeff Bridges a really hot blonde chick. That's right. Yeah. And that's the only thing I remember from that movie as well, is the crack in the house and that chick, because she is stunning That's all I can remember. And, and that's the crack in the, in the floor. In the wall that I have. And there's obviously different types of cracks, but

Reegs: well, I've got a different type of crack for you. I, as an action movie fan, I am a huge fan of somebody cracking their neck or knuckles before delivering and whoop, whooping on someone. Yeah. And I mean, there's so many examples going through my head, obviously, every Bruce Lee scene, not just like knuckles and necks, it's like shoulders, fingers, yeah.

Everything gets cracked. Agent Smith in the Matrix. Yeah. Big cracker. Blade. Blade like to crack one out every now and then. . Um.

Sidey: I've

Pete: I've got a list of these actually. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. I've got, they have one really ridiculous one that I saw in like a montage video today is, you know that movie Pacific Rim?

Yeah. And the machine does it like, that's just amazing. just for no reason. I love that. It's brilliant.

Pete: Yeah. A couple couple more on that. The, the final scene of Desperado with Yeah. With Antonio Bandera and he gets his, his Mariachi brothers to come along and he, and he does like a big neck crack. Gary Oldman and Leon.

Leon, yeah. When he takes his pills. Yeah. I dunno if you actually, the the Heath Ledger is the Joker in the Dark Notes always gets a mention. He does it

Reegs: a good one in Snatch as well, where he cracks his knuckles Yeah. Before knocking the guy out.

Pete: Yeah. Another iconic one is just after Odd job has thrown the hat.

Yeah. The first time he, he then does like a neck crack just to show exactly how tough he is. Like Marvin home alone, he cracks his neck, has to get a mention just to troll side

Reegs: The guy who looks like Keith Sutherland in the Karate kid as he goes into fight Daniel and gets taken down.

Pete: So I I, I dunno if that's karate.

Is that Karate Kid one or two?

Reegs: Oh yes.

Pete: I've only seen the first one under pressure from you guys and I've not

Sidey: well, two's in. That's in the far East, isn't

Reegs: it? I think so, yeah. This

Pete: people can crack their necks in the Far East as well side. Don't be like that.

Sidey: No, but I just don't remember a Keith of Sutherland lookalike in

Pete: enough.

Reegs: No, I'm pretty sure it's the first one.

And of course the ape from the dairy milk advert cracks his knuckles before he, yeah.

Sidey: All right, cool. I've got a different kind of crack. So film that I really enjoyed watching with my mom, as you recall is basic instinct. And I was thinking of Sharon Stone's police interview where she crosses her legs.

So there's that. Yeah.

Pete: Everyone remembers that. That was

Cris: yeah, I remember that. Yeah. It was a very, I had a a a lot of We dreams because of that. sorry, I was at that

Pete: I can't What year would basic instinct have been?

Sidey: 93. Four

Cris: maybe? Yeah,

Pete: 94. Yeah. So I was, I'd I'd have still been at school and I'm pretty sure the playground talk as soon as the film came out was just like, everyone has to watch this film.


Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: Because you get, you get to see crack.

Sidey: dunno

Reegs: I think it was the first time I really became aware of what a lesbian was.

Sidey: Yeah. Well I think they were bi

Reegs: were they even I wasn't that aware then. Wasn't

Sidey: Yeah. And also something that we've spoken about a million times, but not for a little while, was the Jessica Rabbit and the laser dispersion of who framed Roger Rabbit. Yeah. Yeah. There's the

Pete: opposite. Have we anyone verified that? Yeah,

Sidey: Yeah, the

Reegs: yep. The internet.

Pete: Okay. Right. So it must be true. Yeah.

Reegs: Very similar actually in a sort of seductive, sexy sense of the crack is happy Gilmore's ass at the beginning of that movie when he is a plumber , because they, they call it plumber's Crack in America, and we call it builder's bum, I think.

Yeah. Is probably the

Pete: yeah, we know, we know a few people that

Reegs: a plumber's crack.

Pete: the, they're great exponents of the plumber's crack. Yeah. Yeah. Friend Friends of the pod norms. Sways. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: yeah. I, I can only say about on, on the Yeah. But crack side of things. There's a movie called The Longest Yard. Yeah. And there's a, a comedian called Joey Diaz. He's got a role in that and, and he's a gigantic man dressed in the tightest clothes, trying to play American football, and is not just his ass crack sticking out his.

Pete: big

Cris: Belly and everything is, is all out there for everyone to see. And it's actually quite a, another All-star cast because he's got Chris Rock, Bob Sap and Bert Reynolds in the

Reegs: same Bob Sap,

Pete: which

Cris: it's again, one of those things. Bob,

Pete: SAP is.

Reegs: he was a heavyweight boxer

Cris: He was, he was an American footballer, but yeah,

Reegs: That was what he's, he was absolutely enormous and they put him in the guy's half his size and they'd all beat the shit out of him. It was like

Cris: It was brilliant. Yeah, it was brilliant. But yeah, that, that really big guy had a, his ass was out all the time.

Pete: ascar Well I, I've got another Asscrack one. So the, don't recall having spoken about this film on the pod before, but the film road.

Reegs: Yep.

Pete: There's a, again, this was one that just came to me when I was thinking of ascrs. And it's the french toast scene.

Sidey: Oh man.

Pete: which, which I watched again today. I

Sidey: why I would never send food

Pete: back.

Yeah. And it's, so, I dunno the names of the characters, but it's the really kind of like skinny guy who they've basically bullied into it. Cause I think he's got the car or some money or something like that. And they stop off at this diner and hes the french toast. And I think he says something about, oh look, this, there's powdered sugar on this and I can't have too much sugar in the morning.

Or my mom tells me I can't have too much sugar in the morning. Would you mind taking the sugar off? Or, and so the guy's like, yeah, absolutely. No problem at all. And he's like, really? And he's like a big fat guy. And some, he's all sweaty and he's horrible. Like gray tracksuit buttons. And have you seen this film?

Yes. Chris. So you remember the scene?

Cris: I do remember. It's, it's, it's

Pete: so he starts off by, like, he goes back into the kitchen and he like licks all the, the french toast off. He's like pushing his tongue through the french toast, like getting up with it. And then he like gets one slice and sticks it down the front of his pants and then chucks the other slice up and catches it in like in his ass crack.

And then he even comes back out with the french toast. And then it's like, oh here's your coffee guys and yeah, the french toast will be with you. And just all a minute it turns around, you can just see a square of french toast like in his ass crack as he goes back into the kitchen. They bring it back out and you're expecting, and it looks disgusting when it goes back on the plate and you're expecting him to like notice whatever.

And he, he like eats it. He's kind of smiling and they're watching him cuz the other guys know what's happened. And then he's just like, oh, this is so good. Like, just eating it up. And it's, it's probably got like ass

Sidey: you remember, do you remember when we were in Stu.

Pete: Yes. Oh yes I do. That was . That was,

Sidey: So when we got back to the hotel first and there was another group and there was a bowl of sweets, like on the reception as you walked past . And we thought, cuz we hadn't been able to find any food. And we thought, oh, they're gonna nick some of these sweets when they come back. So he got all the sweets and put them in his fucking crotch of his pants,

Reegs: Oh grim.

Sidey: It swelled around in his gusset,

Pete: and then tip them back into the bowl.

Reegs: Nice.

Pete: I don't think I, I dunno if I'd told So who would've been like, well it doesn't matter.

They're not relevant to, to, but yeah, this, I don't think I ever told the people that then probably ate those sweetss afterwards. Oh, well the things you do when you're young and stupid. Yeah. On drunk. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rigs.

Reegs: Oh, different types of cracks. I've got some cracking sounds.

Pete: Okay.

Reegs: So Indiana Jones is whip crack. Oh yeah.

And also Jengo unchanged the crack of the whip on poor Jamie Fox's back the kraken of the glass floor in Jurassic Park. Remember that with the, yeah.

Pete: Is that the the Last World with Julianne Moore? And she's like, fought, like it's in her just like a surveillance bus and there's hanging off a ravine and she's a Yeah, yeah,

Reegs: yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Pete: Quite tense.

Reegs: And the day after tomorrow. Yeah. There's a big crack opens up right at the beginning of the movie with is it Dennis Quaid? I want to say? Yeah.

Cris: Yeah. Yes.

Reegs: And I really like Roland Emrick movies. And this is a pretty good one. It, it's pretty stupid too. And then later on there's a bit where there's like one of those sequences where the ice is all cracking and they're about to fall through, but they're actually above a shopping mall and it's like a glass roof cuz everything's being buried.

Tight crack. Yeah. Yeah. Pretty cool. So there's a bit of crack for you.

Sidey: Who is it, Chris?

Cris: I've, I've, sorry. I've got one in relation to ice. The opening scene in Ice Age.

Pete: Yeah.

Cris: where, where he drops the acorn and, and obviously I would imagine everyone seen that. So I thought that was actually quite a memorable of memorable scene

Pete: isn't it? Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: Yes. Yeah. That's, so I, I thought that would've been a, i I don't want to go into detail because I would imagine everyone seen it and we, I think you've probably talked about ice Age before.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Yeah, I'm pretty sure you did because I remember

Pete: yeah, he's burying his

Cris: But, but it's, it's, I thought it was quite a, a good crack in the, in the ice.

Sidey: they did give him the happy ending.

They did,

Reegs: Yeah. Cannon,

Pete: As in like a hand job after a massage. Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: it. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Some more landscape based ones. I've got the crack in 127 hours that um, it gets his arms stuck in, which is a pretty bad one. Mad Max Fury Road has quite a lot of crevices and, and cracks in amongst the didn't know whether you were gonna allow this one, but Star Wars episode four, dunno if you've seen that.

The, the trench in more of a trench

Reegs: Yeah. It's a trash

Sidey: grass. Yes. I, I thought that was fairly

Pete: there on purpose. Yeah.

Sidey: Okay. And then I had a whole subset of earthquake type scenarios, so

Reegs: it opens up towards the camera is a good one and it

Sidey: it? Yeah. So Stan, Andreas, the Rock movie 2012, that we're all big fans of, that has like umpteen upteen scenes of cracking escape from la.

Yeah, LA becomes an island because it gets annexed via

Reegs: cracked off. Yeah. Crack

Sidey: and then volcano type earthquake scenarios in Volcano and Dante's Peak. Yeah. So, yeah. Loads going on there. A

Pete: crack action there.


Reegs: I've got the crack of Captain America's shield in Avengers the to and I think Tony has a vision of it, doesn't he?

Sidey: He does, yeah. Yeah. And

Reegs: I couldn't be asked to look any up, but heist movies.

Pete: Oh safe cracking. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking of like, the Italian job was the only one that sort of came to me.

Sidey: the dark night one where it's electrified.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Sidey: and the, you know, they all get executed one by once or part of the plan.

That was, that was a safe cracking

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Dark Knight again.

Cris: again.

Pete: Yeah. Have you got any, any more, Chris?

Cris: The only one I have is a crackhead, which I can't really remember his name, but it's in one of my favorite movies that is called Don't Be a Menace.

So is the guy that keeps trying to suck someone's dick. Yeah. and Big Menace. Yeah, that guy. He's my favorite character of all

Pete: the time. . Yeah.

Cris: I wish I could meet him, but I

Reegs: character of all time.

Cris: Well, for the obvious reason. Yeah. But I thought that would've been a funny, a funny crack head rather than a terrible one.

So, so that was

Reegs: showing the funny side of crack. You don't, you don't

Pete: No. Yeah, yeah, exactly. That's it. Crack gets a bad rep, really. But well, well talking of, of actual like use of crack and so on. The, I think the, the, the harshly judged sequel to Anchorman and Anchorman too. I'd like You're turning your nose outside.

Oh, well there's plenty of probably fucking re-watch, but Oh, you, you do need to re-watch it. There's loads of fucking gold in there and it's not just a, a regurgitation of the stuff from the first one. But the scene where they smoke, crack live on, on like the, the news is fucking unbelievable cuz it, this is like bright, is it Brian font, like Paul Rudd's character.

And he, like, he has these segments where he like, you know, investigative pieces and one of them is like, oh, this is this latest craze in New York, it's crack. And they, they get some crack in the studio and smoke it and it's fucking unbelievable. Like the like, yeah, what's his name? Fucking Ron Burgundy, like straight away.

He's like, oh wow, you feel that right away? Like that's an immediate state of euphoria. And then they're, they're, they're absolutely loving it. And then it just cuts to them being arrested outside the TV shoots going, look, we just didn't know. Okay, so like smoking crack on low tv. It's a felony. Okay. So yeah, that's that's a strong scene.

That's the

Sidey: the news segment, I think it was BBC, where they had a man, oh,

Pete: amazing

Sidey: doing a report. Well, there was eight tons or whatever it was of like, just like a cornucopia of drugs

Pete: It's everything. Yeah. Yeah. Like heroin.

Reegs: getting highers. He's Yeah,

Sidey: giggling like, I did this

Pete: It's such a fucking good shot. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: I've got a list of where people are like highly skilled at a particular activity and described as being a.

Cris: crack.

Sidey: Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Reegs: So I've got a crack pilot. Tom Cruise in. Top Gun was described as that. Also in the color of money, he's described as a crack pool player.

The Sting Robert Redford is described as a crack con artist to the Italian job. The later one, the 2003 one with Mark Wahlberg. He's a crack safe cracker. Yeah. Fast and Furious. Don Totto, he's described as a crack street racer. And my other one of my favorite Malkovich performances in rounders.

Oh yeah. With dam Matt Damon. Yeah. And he describes himself as a crack poker player. Yeah. Oh. And also gone in 60 Seconds. Memphis Reigns. The Nicholas Cage character. He's a crack car thief.

Sidey: Did you see the trailer for Fast X?

Reegs: No, I still haven't seen the one before yet. Where they go to space yet,

Cris: right?

Pete: Wow. Yeah.

Cris: Where are they gonna go?

Sidey: Well,

Reegs: back in time. It

Sidey: looks a bit like paired back a little

Cris: Yeah. It's all

Reegs: Ah, what that is going in the wrong

Pete: have you, have you fallen out of love with the franchise

Sidey: No, I I'm, I'm all in. But you, yeah.

Pete: it's all bullocks. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Strong Recommend amo.

Pete: I, I can rattle off a couple more talking of the sounds of cracking. And this was, it comes back to the cracking next, but this is someone having their neck cracked was commando. When he gets put on the plane with, with the guy with a, like a Hawaiian shirt and a and a hat and yeah.

And he, he like elbows him in the face, cracks his neck, and then you get the line, ah, don't disturb my friend. He's dead tired. Which are good. Other uses of crack, I mean, we, we talked about Moonlight where the, the main character Sheron, his mum Knight and played by Naomi Harris is a, is a crack who,

Reegs: mm-hmm.

Pete: Which is interesting.

Wolf of Wall Street, Jonah Hill and de Cat, I can't remember their characters. Jordan thingy and, and the, and Jonah Hill's character, they're like in a, in a restaurant. And, and Jo and Jonah Hill's like, oh, I've got, got a little treat for us. And they go, but basically into like a booth that's out the back and smokes some crack and then it just go, they go fucking mental and wanna run like lines and tigers and bears and stuff.

The one, the one I'll finish on is have you all seen Better Call Saul? Yeah, no. Right. I really like that series. I mean, it, it, it goes to the heights of Breaking Bad at points. I wouldn't say it's as good as Breaking Bads.

Reegs: Dunno, I dunno.

Pete: You think it rivals it?

Reegs: Yeah. Well, I don't know.

Considering, considering that it seemed like a completely pointless idea to me from the outset. Yeah. And then to be slowly won over and then to be utterly engrossed in it.

Pete: I think the best compliment you can pay is that there are definite, like breaking bad esque like highs in the, and I don't mean the highs of the, the not crack. What's the other thing though? Meth. Yeah. Yeah. I

Reegs: it's a bit more emotionally affecting because the relationship between Jimmy and his brother and Jimmy and his partner, you know, those are things you really care about. Whereas Walter's just such an asshole.

Pete: Yeah, true. But there's a, there's a really good scene where I think this is Jimmy and he's, before he is, he's become soul really. And he's, he's driving and as he, as he's driving, he's, he's trying to do something on his phone with his credit card and everything.

And then a, a skateboarder just like lands on his windscreen and his windscreen's all cracked. And he gets outta the car and straight away you can see the guy like lying on the floor. He's, oh, fucking hell, I'm really sorry. And everything. And another guy like jumps out and it's, it's the skateboarder brother going, oh, what the fuck are you doing?

He just hit my brother. I've got it all on camera and everything and, and like, I'm gonna call the police. And he's like, no, no, no. What do we need to to make this guy away? And the guy's like, oh, what about $500? And then he just kind of like pauses. And he's like, ah, $500. Yeah. Okay. And then he just starts, he realizes that he's been set up, so he just starts kicking the skateboarder that's on the floor, going like, fucking you can artist and everything.

He's going like, great, like the, the execution was brilliant, but you've picked the wrong target. I'm a lawyer. And he goes, and look at my car. It's a piece of shit, like, it's worth like five, it's not even worth 500. And he even said like, the, the, the line is like, the only way this car would be worth $500 is if there's a $300 hooker sat in it.

And then he, he basically chases them off like, I should bill you for my windscreen. But then he uses those guys later on in a lot of his scams cuz he's got a guy who can do like the falling and everything. And, and the other guy's pretty handy with like a camcorder. So he starts setting up other people with that.

So it's a good, yeah,

Sidey: I had what I thought might be rife for another top five. So I didn't research it after this one, but in. Joan Jones, the last crusade when they get to the the grail. Yeah. And the old dude there says, you know, you can have a drink and whatever, and that's great, but you cannot take it past the seal.

But when that silly Nazi bitch does Yeah. Everything,

Reegs: starts to fall apart.

Sidey: a huge crack and the thing that they're after falls down the crack. Yeah. And I thought, there's probably loads of movies where that happens and someone's reaching that trope of like, oh, can I, the greed, can I get it or will it cost? And you know,

Pete: when the McGuffin falls.

Sidey: Yeah. The McGuffin. And it's actually Indie who's reaching for it. And it's his old man who's been on the quest his whole life has just fucking let it go. You know? It's not

Reegs: he's literally just seen some woman do the same thing Yeah. And die. Yeah. And then he's

Sidey: greed. The greed.

Pete: the lure of the grail.

Sidey: Yeah. And then I've got, I've moved on then to where people's psyche starts to crack

Pete: Oh, black. Okay.

Sidey: Yeah. So I've got Black Swan beautiful. Yeah. Beautiful. Mind shining fight club.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: It goes on

Cris: Shutter Island. Yeah.

Reegs: Shutter Island. Yeah.

Sidey: So, yeah, I mean this, you could take this

Pete: this, this, this.

Cracking the code as well. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. These are some of the best cracks I've ever

Pete: talked about. Yeah. Looked into. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: we try and crack the top five?

Reegs: Yeah. It's gonna be so hard,

Sidey: Pete, what you feeling?

Pete: I've gotta go for the opening scene in, in glorious bastards. This,

Cris: I dunno. I, I, I think just from a funny point of view, I think, or, or a cartoon iconic point of view is the Ice Age.

Okay. Ice

Reegs: Age Crack. I'm going for the Wire. It was all about crack and it's just brilliant. I don't think I've ever nominated it before, so There you go.

Sidey: go. Good shout. I had had relationship cracking ones as well. Kramer versus Kramer and Marriage story, but I'm gonna, I gotta stick with my mom and I watching basic instincts. did

Pete: crack your relationship with your mother

Sidey: it strengthened it, if anything?

Pete, you've nominated your favorite film of all time.

Pete: I have, but we're gonna talk about cheese first.

Sidey: Oh, we are? Yeah, that's very true. It's our cheese subscription. We haven't had this for a long or while.

Pete: no, because I haven't been around. I've been having the cheese subscription, but yeah, it, it hasn't been part of the pod.

I'm actually just starting to break into the cheese sweats after our little cheese interlude there. I think this is a really strong week for cheese. Dunno what you guys think. What we've got, I'll probably, I'm gonna go in, I'm gonna save the best till last, but we've got, so we've got a black bomber cheddar, which by, in it in itself is, is as good a cheddar as you're gonna get.

Yeah. Very mature. a bit crumbly, but really good. We've got a reho here, which I think it,

Sidey: Aggressive

Pete: smell. It's, it's, it's bark is worse than its bite. Yeah. It definitely smells like ass, but it's it doesn't taste exactly the same as ass in my experience. Anyway. We've got the Nerf Chanel, which came in the shape of a heart.

Yeah. Which is quite cute. Especially with it having been Valentine's Day not that long ago. And that is a bit of a creeper, it's a soft cheese that you think is, is quite innocuous. Yeah. And then it, it comes and gives us like little kind of acidic bite at the

Reegs: Yeah. Bites back a little bit.

Keeps going. Yeah. I would say.

Pete: yeah. It's certainly repeating on me. But I think tonight's standout winner is the Stilton, which is like, it's, it's fucking off the chart. It's a, it's an aggressive stilton that I've paired with the with the toast for cheese, which, which we can now only have cuz it's superior to all other crackers.

But it's got cherries, almonds, and linseeds and pears with strong blue cheeses. So, yeah, I think a arousing

Sidey: yeah, A bit of fig chuney as well.

Pete: There is some fig chutney, there's some Cornish Sean and there's some olives provided by our, our host Mr. Chris. Yeah,

Sidey: So it's a winner on the snack front.

Pete: Yep.

Reegs: It's a feast.

Sidey: As I mentioned, you did nominate your favorite ever movie.

Pete: Okay. So this is not my favorite ever a movie, but it is. The favorite ever movie of my 13 year old son, Rowan. Yeah. Who has, I cannot tell you how many times he has watched this film and listened to the soundtrack of this film in my car Every time he gets in the car wanting to have this, this soundtrack on.

Absolutely loves it. He wanted to be the Greatest Showman for such a long time in his life, and even got like a jacket and everything that that

Reegs: Well, like a Ring Master's jacket.

Pete: Yeah. Nice. Yeah. He, he went to a it was like a summer like camp sort of thing, and there was like a dress up box and there was this great showman type jacket in there, and he just, first thing you do when he got in there every day was, was put this jacket on and eventually they just said, look, you can keep it mate, because Nice.

Yeah. So, yeah. Not really inspired by anything other than. But I thought I knew you hadn't seen it side, correct? You hadn't seen it, Chris, and you had seen it rigs, I

Reegs: Oh, numerous times. I've seen this,

Pete: numerous times. Okay. And we'll come onto whether you've seen it numerous times because through your own choice or because you've been forced into it by your offspring.

Reegs: mm-hmm.

Pete: Yeah. So that is the, the Greatest Showman and the reason that we picked it or I picked it.

Reegs: Yeah. So it's a 2017 musical telling the story of

Sidey: PT Barnum.

Reegs: PT Barnum, yeah. Yeah. Visionary Showman and entrepreneur who rose from poverty to create this sensation with his circus, which we

Pete: should say this is a real person who really did not everything in this film, but really did a lot of stuff in real life.

And I guess we will come onto we will come onto the. The historical other side of the, which is actually a song in the film. But yeah, we'll come onto the other side of PT Barnum and how he, his escapades can be interpreted in, in the modern day, I guess. Or are we gonna do it, we're gonna deal with that now, or let's do it after.

Sidey: No, we'll get onto it after a second.

Pete: Okay. Right. So the show, the film, it

Sidey: with a bit of

Pete: when it starts off even as like, The, the 20th Century Fox thing is like rotating. It comes in with like the, the, like the, the title song.

Reegs: it's a black and white logo as well.

Pete: It is, yeah.

Sidey: throwback.

Pete: And you hear some whoas and it kicks off with the the, the title song, which is called The Greatest Show.


Reegs: Hugh Jackman, sort of in shadow, in profile, like stamping his feet and then introducing the

Sidey: like a row of feet above him. Isn't there again? Yeah,

Pete: yeah.

Reegs: Strongly reminiscent of kind of, the, we will Rock You Type. Yeah. And

Pete: yeah, he's, he's underneath the, the, the, the, the seating of the theater. And then eventually he, he walks out into the middle and just when you think it's gonna get going, it kind of like, he starts looking, looking away into the distance and it just sort of fades out.

And this is obviously then, now that it's gonna be the backstory as to how he's got to this point as this kind of ring master in a,

Reegs: Oh.

It's a great cut. That as well. Cuz it fades from him in the center of the ring, wearing his red to himself as a young child, enviously looking in the window of his Taylor father's place at the jacket that he'll wear later. Yeah. And his aspirations is great. But we didn't talk about the The Amazing song.

The Greatest Show. So Fucking

Pete: Banger. Well, it it, you don't see it in its fullness at the beginning. It's kind of like, no,

Reegs: you? No. You get most of it, don't you?

Sidey: I think you just get the intro.

Pete: You kind of, you, you get the intro and it, and it,

Reegs: because yeah, you get no, you

Pete: gets going.

But you don't get a,

Reegs: you get no that everybody coming out and horses and Zendaya is flipping in the air and there's a knife throw and there's dances and there's clowns on stilts.

Pete: I suppose. Yeah. But it then it kind of like, because it cuts, it kind of abruptly.

Reegs: Yeah, it

Pete: This wasn't the. I guess the, the, the song bookends the film effectively.

Yeah. So, you get the, the opening half of, of the title song. And then as you say, the cut to him as a young boy, a young Fi Finns or Phils Finn Finns. Finns Finns. And he's looking at, as you say, in, in the winner, so he's the son of a Taylor. Yeah. I presume. And

Reegs: he goes to the home of some rich prick and his daughter there, charity is around and he's making her laugh and she spits out her tea, and then her dad just smacks her across the face,

Cris: doesn't smacks him.

Reegs: smacks him across

Pete: the, yeah, yeah, yeah,

Cris: is shocking because his dad is there. Yeah,

Sidey: I know.

Pete: yeah. But the, the dad, ISAL you've already seen as they're going into the house, the dad's like, you can see his, his shoes you know, got holes in them and then he's got stuff on his jacket and the dad's kind of like, you know, you look a mess and, you know, so, You can see this is like, he's trying to impress, he's a tailor and he wants to be a tailor to the rich and famous, I guess.

And so he, he's got his son along with him to help him out, but he doesn't want his son to be an embarrassment. Obviously you can see the, the house that they go into the daughter charity is, is going through some kind of like coaching on how to be a lady and drinking tea and all this shit.

Reegs: sent off to finishing school, isn't she?

Pete: Yeah, exactly. The

Reegs: song, A Million Dreams, we see their relationship go from them as children in the abandoned mansion that he'll later buy for her

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: and,

Reegs: them as adults.

He drops the roles of thread and they all drop away. Do you remember that bit? And it's a nice little visual

Pete: Yeah.

Down, down the steps and then, yeah.

Reegs: he writes to her, so she's off at finishing.

Cris: school.

Pete: Yeah.

And this, that, as you say, this all has the, the song A Million Dream. And I was so, I was so con, I've watched this film so many times and this time I was so conscious about like, oh, SI's gonna hate that. SI's gonna hate that.

And then when there was like children singing, I said, oh, he's probably switched off. He probably, that's great. So he got a million dreams that then it kind of like re re reprises as he, he goes off to travel around America on the, the, the, the Great Railroad

Reegs: he becomes a street urgent. His father dies and he's a street urchin. He steals bread. He's given an apple by a person who's got a physical deformity of some kind. He's wearing a cloak or something. So, it's the reaching out from that community to him as a, as a child. But yeah, he goes off to make his fortune on the rail.

Pete: railroad.

Reegs: I don't, is it, how, is, what is, how did he make his money? I

Cris: It doesn't, it doesn't

Pete: doesn't really say. He just, I didn't

Cris: the, the, the rail workers and, and he comes

Pete: up that he made a fortune or anything. He just went off to explore. I think this is where he's, he's gone and traveled and therefore seen a lot of like, well, for , like unique Uniquities, is that a word?

Exotic. Yeah. He's seen a lot of things that you wouldn't ordinarily see, you know, in, in, you know, in, in normal society or whatever. And so he's become fascinated. I mean, even when he was a kid, you know, he's showing, he's doing like, like shadow puppets on the wall and stuff to show charity, trying to woo her with shadow puppets, which is

Reegs: he's always had a sense of the theatrics

Pete: and Exactly, yeah.

Yeah. So, so he goes away and then comes back and the song still kind of going on. Yeah. , this is

Reegs: the father

Cris: The song, the singing is so long all the time. . Well, it's a musical, but it's a musical. I get it. Yeah.

Pete: kind of like part and parcel with, with these types of films, but yeah, he, they're ex

Reegs: ex, I have to say.

Right. We're obviously all on different sides of the fence here, but I think they're mostly exquisite dance numbers. Really Well choreographed with some great, like I appreciate

Cris: that. Yeah,

Reegs: yeah.

Pete: Yeah. I think so. Like,

Reegs: and I think the songs are pretty much all banging. I've heard them a billion

Pete: times how I've heard them a, a bazillion times and, and some are better than others for me.

But anyway, we we can, we can come onto that. But

Reegs: anyway, yeah, so he goes back, he, he professes his love to the dad.

Pete: No,

Reegs: that's not quite what happens.

Pete: happened. Yeah, yeah, yeah. , he does that

Reegs: and he does, he talks to the father, doesn't he? And he's like, I just want

Pete: He does. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: all that.

And he sent, she'll be back. She'll tire over the life where she has

Pete: nothing.

Yeah. He's like a horrible old, like cock blocking kill joy. Yeah. Because obviously he knows that, that, that this guy,

Sidey: what's he supposed to do?

Feed his cock into his daughter? Why not

Pete: No, but he's obviously, he's, he's saying like, you know, you are not basically, you are not good enough. My daughter, you are the son of a Taylor and she's from, she's well to do and you are not, you'll never be good enough for her type stuff,

Reegs: she does love him and they do move to a shitty flat and before long she's pregnant and all that sort of stuff. And

Cris: that's a weird transition as well, I found, because you see her pregnant and then the next time you see it, it kind of goes to another song.

If I remember correctly.

Sidey: almost

Reegs: I think it's the same one. But they show the

Pete: yet. I've, I've got, I've got where the songs are in the film and there, there isn't one yet.

I mean, if they'd shown the full nine months of the pregnancies and, and stuff like that,

Reegs: If they'd have shown, if they'd have shown the first like four or five years with the kids where it's mostly you like shouting at each other as parents and

Cris: I'm just saying that there's two kids. Yeah. Yeah. That's where I'm, I was confused because in that's,

Pete: this, this is a bit of

Sidey: Michelle Williams is really just window dressing in this. She offers nothing in the whole film.

Pete: You,

Reegs: Hmm.

Pete: I, I, I,

Reegs: she loved him. That's the important thing.

Pete: I would, I, I would kind of agree with, so we'll come on to how we feel about everything at the end. And I feel like I know where side is, is, is feeling. Feeling, but why surprise you? Well, but I, I, I agree with you.

She's, she's pretty vanilla all the way through the film, essentially. I know that her character has, you know, Brings balance to, to him and so on. But yeah. Anyway so in, in like now the sort of the modern day where the story really kind of like kicks on. He's got his wife Michelle Williams playing charity and he's got his two daughters.

And they have, you know, they don't, they, they don't, they, they're, you know, live in a modest kind of like place and they, they don't, he can't even, she, like one of the daughters really wants ballet shoes and he, he can't even afford those. So, but he works for a shipping company. Yeah. And whilst, and you can, you know, his entrepreneurialism is, is kind of coming out in one of the scenes where he is saying to his boss, oh, you know, this guys that can, you know, you know, that can like glide in the air.

Now we should be factoring that into what we are doing and so on. And then the boss is like, yeah, great. Here's your yeah, here's your,

Sidey: here's your P 45. The

Pete: 45. Yeah, it's

Sidey: underwater now.

Pete: it's, so the, the, the whole fleet has dropped its load in the South China Sea. . So that's all done and dusted.

But before he leaves the building with his P 45, he, you see him sneak some documents into his bag to, to take home with him. It's a dodge. Yeah. Yeah. He

Sidey: like a huge fraud. And

Reegs: aid Goes home, tells his miss, tells his misses. He's been made redundant and he's apologizing to her. It's not the life I promised you. And he feels guilty because of the pledge, you know, that he gave, that he made to her father and all that.

Pete: I've, I've even, I've, I've made a note here that says, at this point there's been kids singing and everything is quite t twee and cliched side. He may have switched off that that's what I've written.

But because you are, you know, a professional, you would've, I know you would've stuck at it. Um, He's

Reegs: by his daughter's birthday present, a wishing machine or lamp that he makes, and he tells her this convoluted story about how it was made by Leonardo da Vinci and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

And it hatches him this idea where Barnum goes to the bank, and this is where he sees Tom th to the character Tom Thum, Charles Stratton for the first time.

Pete: Yeah. In the, in the waiting room. Yeah.

Cris: Yeah. Sounds like a man. Looks like a child.

Reegs: That's what they say, isn't it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So anyway, he goes for a $10,000 loan for his entertainment show idea, using the deed to the sunken trading vessels as collateral on it.

It's pretty fucking dodgy.

Pete: Yeah. So he's a can

Reegs: and he opens up a sort of shitty madam, two swords, wax museumy type place, and he's trying to hustle and get people in. Nobody's interested. He's hired this guy who tried to steal his watch as a magician. . I like that guy. So you go back to him a few times and you see him like putting his hands in people's pockets and Banham telling him not to whom he can and can't pinch from.

And anyway,

Cris: yeah,

Pete: one part where he, he asks the, the guy that he's, he's got to work in the box office. How many tickets are inside? He said three. And he looks around and it's his misses and, and kids kind of resonated when you were talking about the numbers of the downloads for, you know, some of the days you're like, how many downloads?

Say four? And I was like, hang on. 1, 2, 3, 5. There's four of us in the room. No, but record February. Sorry. Yeah. But it's shorter.

Reegs: she's reading Tom Thumb. That's what gives him the idea.

Sidey: And she says maybe it'd be the place would be better if he had some things that were alive.

Reegs: Yeah. Like mermaids or unicorns.

Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: And freaks. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: So yeah, he goes on a mission.

It's, I like this bit cuz it's a bit like in an action movie where they're putting the team together. The montage. Yeah. Yeah. And so you get, you know, he goes for the, the, oh God, I'm gonna be really bad with the language here. I'm sorry. Dwarf. Is that what you say? Correct.

Pete: Which, which term do you find most offensive?

Reegs: I don't know. I just don't wanna get the language wrong. I think the dwarf Charles Stratton and he thinks he's there for, to get people to laugh at him. And he's like, the first thing he, yeah, he

Pete: the first thing he says, you might as well get paid.


Reegs: But he, that is not the route to go down.

He wants some empathy from this guy. And then he tells him, I'm gonna make you big. I'm gonna make peop They won't be laughing at

Cris: you. Well, he finds that soldier on the floor now. Yeah. The, the toy soldier. And he, he kind of.

Pete: of

Cris: plays on that. Yeah. Thinking that this kid, this is what he wants to be, you're gonna be a general on a horse you know, places, heartstrings.

It's also what I wanted to say is the, the girls used the word sensational. Yeah. Which I, that was a thing that kind of stuck to me because I thought that's actually quite clever done by whoever wrote the script, because that is a word that's sensational. And then he goes, what do you mean that's your word, daddy?

Yeah. Yeah. In, in terms of getting real people or, or someone alive in the, in the show, let's say. So.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Pete: So, and, and then after that he, he puts up some posters. Yeah.

Reegs: He wants all unique people to visit him. And then he's alerted to an incredible singing voice belonging to a woman with, well, we have four guys here with pretty, you know, fairly decent beards.

But we have the character, Letti Lowells played by Kela Kela, Seattle. And she's got. A Fullon beard. Really?

Sidey: impressive. Great.

Pete: bushy beard. Yeah. Yeah. And a great set of pipes.

Cris: was gonna

Sidey: an enormous bangers as well.

Pete: they are enormous. Yeah.

Reegs: singing voice.

Cris: An

Pete: Unbelievable. Singing voice. Yeah. And then, and then they all sort of fall in line.

You got the,

Reegs: get the obese guy and he's like, oh, how heavy are you? And he says, I don't wanna like put a number on it. So he says, whisper it. He's 500 pounds, 700 pounds.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: You see his show Biz

Pete: you get dog boy. Yeah. Yeah. He was a. Person in, you know, in, in early sort of circus slash freak, chose Jojo, the Dogface boy.

Yeah. Yep. And then

Reegs: the Irish giant,

Pete: The Irish giant, yeah. Stilt still. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. And then you've also an an African American trapeze duo, brother and sister.

Reegs: Yeah. So

Pete: one half of which is Anne Wheeler, played by Zendaya Zendaya.

Reegs: It's pretty like ham fisted putting in you know, being black was also a.

Unique challenge as well, wasn't it type, you know, moralizing to it, but

Sidey: in his, in real life.

That was one of his first

Pete: yes. Yeah. This is quite troubling. Yeah. Yeah. That, that story he bought slavery had been abolished by then, but he found a way of buying a, an, an elderly blind black lady, African

Sidey: slave. He'd purchased an, an exhibited as George Washington's nurse made.

Pete: Yeah. And said she was like 170 years old, but she was actually,

Reegs: I honestly think the movie is not really about the real PT Barnham, it's about

Pete: No, this is not a a, a biopic

Reegs: no. And so, you know, there is a lot of troubling and

Pete: stuff, but

Reegs: really it's just like a banging musical.

Pete: But the well talking of that, then we get the, the next song, which is Come Alive, which is I guess the, the, the setting up of the show and the crowds start coming in and they start selling out and the, you know, you see all the ovations and everything and

Reegs: they come out, they're freaks as they're called into the, and the audience see them, they're like, yeah, but then they want something. They want a part of it, don't they?

Yeah. Yeah,

Pete: Yeah, they do. Indeed. Yeah.

Sidey: There's some disgruntled locals though, that are kicking off about

Pete: Yeah. There's, there's an angry mob that are, are gathering in numbers with each performance that don't want their kind in their, in their town.

Reegs: And an arrogant critic has dismissed it as his circus, which he then appropriates.

Yeah. He

Pete: He takes it. Yeah. But all, all of this that's, that's happened up till now means that Mr. Barnham has been able to, to afford to buy a nice house and some ballet slippers for his, for his daughter and so on.

So things are, are on the up for the Barnham family.

Reegs: yeah, but it, you know, a class theme that comes through is that you can't buy your way into high society.

Cuz they say she smells of peanuts, don't they? The daughter at the school? Yeah,

Cris: At ballet school. Yeah.

Reegs: school, yeah.

Pete: Nice. No. And I think it's around this time that we get the introduction to what I have to say in my entire life, I think this guy has to be my top man crush.

Reegs: He might be

Pete: be Efron.

Reegs: Yeah. In

Pete: Wow. And I'd never actually seen him in anything before. I'd only heard his name.

Sidey: you want to get onto Baywatch? Honestly,

Reegs: he's a mate. But this scene I love, I think this is the standout scene in the movie for me, between these two guys. They're both absolutely brilliant in it. It's a great song.

Pete: So, so, right.

Reegs: got like, they've both got old school movie star charisma of like Fred Air and Long Got, you know, and they can both sing, they can both dance.

Pete: Yeah. Both easy on the eye. And, and so, isn't, he's playing Philip Carlisle, who's like a, a playwright sort of promoter type guy or whatever, and he's, he's from upper eons of society.

Reegs: He gives him an air of legitimacy that Barnum doesn't have.

Cris: and he's from a, from a upper class family and, and he's, you know

Pete: Yeah. Wealth and prestige and so

Sidey: the first time he sees anything, it's Zendaya on her Trape Right. Close up into his face. And he is taken the back straight away.

Pete: He gets horny straight away.

Yeah. Yeah. As I did with Z Kron came on the screen. Yeah. But that, that, I, I think that that song, the the, the other side that, you know, where they're doing, they're basically, it's the negotiation of getting him involved where they're doing the shots. It's fucking unbelievably well, like choreographed Yeah.

With the, with the bartender and so on. Yeah. I think it is. Anyway, side

Reegs: Yeah. It's brilliant. I loved

Pete: Yeah. I've, I've written a hundred percent bonafide man crush here. Yeah. And like you say, yeah, he, he's taken by Anne Wheeler.

Sidey: Yeah. They negotiate down to 10%.

They do. Yeah.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: Out and outside the circus is being protested against, Barham is being seen as a pe purveyor of the offensive and indecent. And it's that snobby critic who's whipped all that up. But Lyle gets them an invite to see Queen Victoria. Yeah. To help 'em climb the social ladder and it becomes conditional on everyone going yeah.

Not just Barnum.

Pete: Yeah. And

Reegs: do meet her and she's kind of honored to meet them. Charmed by their earthiness.

Pete: Yeah. Cuz what's it I forgot his name. Char, like Charles. Charles kind of like quips that she kindt Exactly.

Sidey: reach, honestly, nearly cringed myself to death at that bit. Yeah, it's awful.

Pete: Okay. Yeah. But you, but you hate short people, don't you? So, yes. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway,

Reegs: after all the scene, queen Victoria Baran becomes entranced by a world famous opera singer, a Jenny Lind played by Ferguson. Yeah. And he forces Carlisle

Pete: to, yeah. She's rivaling Efron at this stage. Yeah.

Reegs: Even though he doesn't know where he forces her to introduce him, and, and he invites her to perform for the show.

So that, and he's, you know, his offer is, I'll take you worldwide, I'll take you across the continent to America and you'll and he says, people come to his show to be hoodwinked, and he just, just for once he wants to give them something real.

Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: Which is kind of like the first, like in Yeah. I mean, other than the, the unfortunate stuff he says to, to Charles at the very beginning, then this is like, you know, he's then like doubled down on it saying like, you know, this is a side show and, and this is like, but you will be like a, the real deal kind of thing.

Yeah. But yeah, he, he convinces her to come stateside and

Reegs: performs

Pete: never do a performance. And

Reegs: Spine chilling. If

Pete: you don't like this side, then you are fucking dead inside. I'm sorry, I'm giving enough noise. Okay, fine. But that, that's like the song, that song itself, the and and the, the performance and how it's done and everything is, is pretty fucking, you know, the acting, you know, Barham does it where, you know, Hugh Jackman doesn't say anything, but it's just his like face like, cuz he's never actually heard a sing until that point.

And then just his like bewilderment and awe. And, and obviously that's felt by everyone,

Cris: wife and the kids and everyone is, is just at the end is like, ah, you're a princess. Even the girls are, you are a princess is just because of the sound of her voice and the performance. So yeah. Impressive.

Pete: Yeah. And then, yeah, so she, she crushes that during the, the performance. Efron makes his move. He's

Reegs: her though.

Pete: Jack. Yeah. On side, like Yeah. Yeah. Well he's mesmerized, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah, yeah. He's absolutely mem, but, but during this as well, this is where Efron makes a, makes a little move on on Anne.

Yeah. Like goes to hold her hand and, and she's game for it. But then his parents who are also watching kind of like look over and are very judgemental about that. And so he immediately like, let's go over hand. She storms off.

Reegs: And charity can see the effect that Rebecca Jenny Lin has had on Hugh

Pete: on Daddy.

Yeah. She's

Reegs: at him from the side. Yeah. Oh,

Pete: Then you have the, like, the aftermath of the performance is this kind of like really awkward scene where the all of the

Cris: the, the reception afterwards that happens.

That every opera, every, it always happens, right? It's, it's, it's a, it's a thing obviously, especially for the, the people that have the balconies and it's, I'm not saying I've been to that many, but I've been to a few of them and, and every time I was lucky enough to get a ticket to, to participate and it's exactly like that.

Free bar champagne re

Pete: all of the, the, the stars

Cris: and obviously, yeah, they all come in and, and obviously the only thing is if you are someone like me, you don't really go to shake their hand and say, oh, that was great, but that's normally what happens. And, and they'll speak to the right

Reegs: Covid safe now I fist bump only.

Cris: Yeah, exactly.

Reegs: but

Pete: you get like a load of little sort of interactions in this, like what the charity's parents are there.

Yeah. Because obviously they're well to do

Reegs: never met the grandchildren

Pete: I don't think if they, I dunno if they've never met them, but the suggestion that there's definitely a estranged and, and don't have a lot to do with them

Sidey: He's a prick

Reegs: He's a prick to him. And then the father cuts him down. He says all that fortune and still just a Taylor boy. It's, oh, I fucking savage

Pete: Yeah. And then he, he, he's, by now he's like quadrupling down on being a prick because, you know, the, the, all his, his, his actual show, the circus guy, performers, they come cuz they just want to like meet the, you know, they're, they're in awe of this lady singing as well.


Sidey: closes the

Pete: door, literally slams the door in their face. And then this, this song, this is Rowan's favorite song. And then like, I, I get a little kind of teary like, hearing this and seeing the performance. No, no. It's, it is amazing. Of this is, this is me. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. It's a powerful ballad about accepting yourself and embracing who you are. And no matter what your race or sexuality or gender or beard quality is you know, you have a Right.

Pete: But they do the, the way they do it as well, like they, they come in through another door, they go through the room singing it and just showing in front of all the, the, the assholes that are, that are in the room. Then they go out into the street and do it in front of the angry mob as well, whos still hanging around.

They might, they're kind of a lot going on in their lives and they're just

Reegs: like really

Pete: Yeah. Well she, she glances up a cuz then they go into a show that night and perform it there and she glances up to, to Efron who's sort of, you know, feeling a bit sheepish on the balcony and she's pumping out the lyrics cuz he's let her down as well in front of the parents and so on.

So lot of strong, strong emotional messages in their side. I, I know you were feeling it too.

Sidey: was

Reegs: anyway, they decide to take the show on the road, don't they?

Barnum's idea. Take the show on the road.

Pete: with the, by the show you mean Lin? Yeah. Jenny Lin. Not the, not the circus.

Cris: And he wanted 50 man band.

Pete: 60 piece orchestra.

60, sorry. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: 60 piece orchestra. Yeah, yeah,

Pete: yeah, yeah. So they're gonna, well, he, he knows that,

Sidey: him against and says, you won't make any money till, you know, you need 500 shows or something. And he's

Pete: He's like 41st.

Cris: 40 and 41.

Pete: First show. He's already done the mouse, but he believes in this and, and in fairness, he is like, she's already crushed it.

And, and

Sidey: she's not just crushed that she's got quite the crush going on with him.

Pete: Absolutely. More. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: She's quite the smitten kitten.

Reegs: She is.

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: Philip takes Zendaya to the theater,

Pete: Yes. And then there's a really horrible interaction with the parents on, on the stairs. Yeah. And, and you know, the, the parents insult, well the dad especially in insults.

In insults and she walks off again, but this time Philip stands up to him and ba I think he says like, you forget yourself. He said, well, if that's me, then I, that's that. You know, if that's what I'm meant to be, that's not what I want, kind of thing.

Reegs: Yeah. I think it was a little more eloquent in the movie,

Pete: Yeah. Maybe, maybe. I,

Sidey: But they do, they have quite a good number then where she's flying around on the ropes and stuff. That was quite good.

Pete: Well, it,

Reegs: stars. It's great.

Yeah. And they're singing about, you know, they're gonna rewrite the rules. They're gonna make the world for them because they want

Cris: the, the choreography was very good.

I'll give them that. That is difficult. That is difficult. Especially on that

Reegs: skinny, I thought in this scene.

Pete: Oh, you're like body shaming. Oh, I keep body shaming. Yeah. Like, sorry. Yeah.

Sidey: I mean, she's, that's just, she is, she's always

Pete: body shaming people of color again.

Oh god. Sorry. , so

Reegs: he does this right? There's one point she goes up and he climbs up the side of the balcony thing and then just jumps off. I don't think he was trying to kill her, but it was strongly reminiscent of like, those like wrestling matches that they used to have in the independence where some crazy guy just climbs up the side of

Sidey: it.


Pete: a gun

Reegs: and just throws himself off.

Pete: Very reminiscent of that. Yeah. I think it's like Royal Rumble. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: Slightly less romantic than

Pete: well, this, this

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: there's a bit of a recurring theme in this film. It's that like, no matter what sort of like horrible shit that you've done and, and where you've let people down and everything, you can really quickly reconcile with a song and some acrobatics is, you know, and, and they do, they reconcile, albeit they, that what approach

Reegs: do to life?

Cris: Yeah.

Pete: I, I do my best. Yeah. But they they kind of leave it as, even though the, they've sung a great song and they've reconciled, it's like, this is still probably not gonna happen because of like who we are.

Reegs: Yeah. And also we are straight into another song after that tightrope, which is about charity and how touring life is hard.

Pete: Honestly, coming back to side's point here, that that's the most mere song of, of the entire piece for me. Tightrope. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. I would agree.

Pete: Yeah. And again, unfortunately Michelle Williams, not nothing about her performance necessary. I just think her character is

Sidey: any material to work with

Pete: Yeah. Yeah.

Unfortunately. And so the, the song is kind of forgettable, we

Sidey: have, we have alluded to it, but on the, on the tour Ms. Lin basically professes her. She confesses her feelings.

Reegs: Yeah. Well she was, she also says she feels like an outsider, like he does cuz she was born out of wedlock.

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. So we had a big discussion about this at home because obviously my daughter was born out of wedlock and she was worried then that she was gonna be like, like

Reegs: shunned as a freak. Yeah.

Sidey: Oh, wow. Yeah. So that was quite interesting. But she does you know, tell Mr.

Barnham about her feelings.

Reegs: Well, she tries to get him plastered to fuck him.

Sidey: That's, yeah. But he's, but he stands his ground, he's like, no, no, that's not, that's not what I'm about. You know, I'm not, I'm not into that. And he, you know, he, he. gets outta the cold shoulder and sets her straight and he's thinking, oh, that was good.

And she like, sucker punches him at the end of the tour with a big smooch. Yeah.

Pete: Which like, well she obviously gets the ass, but she does say something that I think is, is very true.

She says that if he's careless with other people, then it will only bring ruin on himself. And that is kind of how he's been. He's, he's forgotten, you know, he's, he's left his family be behind. Yeah. He's,

Reegs: got him where

Pete: he is. Yeah. He's not been responsible to his family. He's not been responsible to, to the circus that he created.

And so, and he keeps chasing the next thing that's gonna, I, I dunno. Boost his stock and his ego

Reegs: Well, and also you get that hammered home with this sort of mournful reprise rendition of never enough again, where she's like weeping on stage as she's doing it.

Pete: Yeah. And then she, she goes in for a snug which gets, which gets papped.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah, it does.

Pete: Yep.

At the circus. Yeah. The, the mob has descended. Again, they felt like after seemingly years of waiting outside and shouting things,

Reegs: The whole

Cris: also, it's also in a way a crescendo throughout the, the time when he's away that there's, before they were just outside and, and protesting outside. Now you can see them inside and, and being more shouty and more while they're doing the show and while they're trying to, to perform Absolutely.

There inside. And then it, it kind of leads up to, to the boiling point when, when they come in and there's

Reegs: oh, it's a big fight.


Pete: There's a fight and then there, then there's a fire.


Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: guy bumped someone with his stomach. There's some wrestling moves, isn't there? The giant, that's the giant. Throw some guy absolutely miles, and then when he stands up, he gets a lantern and burns the whole place

Pete: down. That's it. Yep.

Reegs: Which Barnum returns home on the train at that exact moment as the fire crew go past.

Cris: little

Sidey: thing goes

Cris: Yeah. Also the woman with a beard, she's got some moves. Yeah.

In, in, she's, she's got cutting fu

Pete: her. Yeah, no.

Reegs: She would kick your ass.

Cris: But yeah, he comes back at the perfect Yeah. Time to just see everything burn. Pretty much. And obviously

Reegs: a really weird part of the movie here for where, for no reason they send Carla, I guess it's, so he is injured and comes out the movie for a little while, but he goes off into the fire to find Zendaya, but

Cris: Yeah, yeah.

Sidey: She basically walks past him as he

Reegs: going. Yeah, pretty much. And then I think Barnham goes into

Cris: rescues him. Yeah. Carries him in his arms like a hero.

Pete: Yeah. And you, you, yeah.

Reegs: or what's the one with Richard gear? An officer in a

Sidey: Oh yeah, yeah.

Pete: And you see, yeah, so you see Carlisle ends up in the hospital and, and Anne goes to, to his bedside. And there there is a couple of these where they just sort of sing really weekly.

Yeah. Like little excerpts from some of the songs or whatever. And like, I, they take me, they take me

Reegs: and worried.

Pete: I know, but it's, yeah, just, just, yeah, just, just crying Would've, would've like, you know, portrayed that. But yeah, the, the circus Anne Barnham himself were in ruins. Like, he, he doesn't even realize when the, the critic guy tells him, who starts actually feeling sorry for him.

Like he sat on

Reegs: he tells him he, even though he didn't like it, he knew that other people did.

And he said, just suppose you could call it a celebration of humanity. Like really hammering home that inclusivity.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. But he, at, at this point, Barnum's still not aware that Linda's is jbb it and, and chuffed off from the tour.

So, because he even says like, oh, okay, I know this is all burning and ruins, but at least I'll get the, the proceeds from, from Jenny's tour. But yeah, he

Cris: he also doesn't know about his wife finding out

Sidey: Charity gets wind of the, the

Cris: snug that the, his snug is on the front page of the paper. Yeah.

Sidey: So she fucks off back to

Pete: Yeah.

And the house has been repossessed cuz he hasn't been able to keep up with the, the loan repayments and everything and Yeah. And, and

Reegs: back living with the mother and father-in-law.

Absolutely. Yeah. And he goes to visit her and, you know, she's obviously embarrassed cuz of the newspaper

Pete: he he gets drunk first.

Cris: that's right.

Pete: He goes and gets drunk in a bar and then all of the

Sidey: he did crack, didn't

Pete: didn't he? Yep. I think so. Exactly. That's where the tie-in was. Yep. and then all of the. , people from the show come and see him like broken and, and immediately forgive him. Yeah. Because the song happens again.

Reegs: good one though. From now on. It's a

Pete: a good song. Yeah. Yeah. It kind of builds up. Yeah. Again, not, not in, not in the top three or four, but, you know, I can, I can get on board with it.

But yeah, they immediately forgive everything that he's said, how he's like, let them down. Just because, you know, they say, oh yeah,

Sidey: well they've got fuck with us.

Pete: you've made us happy at times. So, yeah. We'll, we'll,

Cris: well, they're a family. He, they're the only sense of family they've got.

Pete: No, he, he has, he's brought them together and given them this like whole kind of like new life and, and way of being kind of perceived by others and everything.

So they forgive him pretty quickly.

Sidey: Yeah. Well, and then

Reegs: Philip has a little kiss with Zendaya at the hospital

Sidey: Yeah, he's all right now.

Reegs: He didn't have private medical care. I,

Cris: Clearly not.

Reegs: No. So

Cris: terrible times

Sidey: got enough wherewithal to go and negotiate a new deal, he says.

Cris: And,

Pete: know, everything's

Sidey: burnt to the ground.

But don't worry, with the 10% that I was getting, I've been carefully squiring that away. So I've got enough to rebuild this whole thing from the ground

Pete: Get us off the ground.

Sidey: ground. But we'll be 50 50 partners and everything's really happy and

Reegs: Well also Barnum's got a reconcile with his wife, which he does on the beach.

She's got like this long blue scarf on.

Pete: Mm.

Reegs: And he's saying, oh, you know, he apologizes

Pete: a reconciliation scarf. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: Well, it's also the same beach where they used to go as children. So, so it kind of takes you back to when the, when he goes to the, the father, I wanna speak to my wife, and he just tells them, tells him he's, she's not here.

And then the two little daughters come down the stairs and they just tell him she's at the beach. He straightaway knows where she is.

Pete: And he, he, she's just been stood there staring for probably weeks waiting for him to, to come and, and do the reconciliation, which again happens. And there's again, another little bit of wobbly kind of,

Reegs: well it's, there's the dynamic there though, isn't it?

Because he, he wants, he's apologizing. I didn't give you the life I promised him, and she's said, I don't want that. I just want you sniff.

Pete: Yeah. And like you say, Carlisle says today with, with his with his money and uh, they

Sidey: this time.

Pete: no, they can get some money. They can get some land down the docks and pitch a tent.

Yeah. And and they can go, go again. Only this time there's a, a, a very literal handing over of the ringmasters hat that goes round. The

Reegs: is singing, this is where you want to be. Yeah. He gives him the thing and realizes I want to be with my family and he runs off.

Cris: Yeah.

Pete: And and it's Lyle who gets the ringmasters hat and he's gonna now be the ring master from now on.

From now on. Yeah.

Reegs: And Barnham goes off to watch his daughter being shit, a ballet

Pete: Yeah. And

Cris: Well, yeah. Well she was, was he, I I'm a bit confused with that because I, I, I can't remember if I was, if I had, didn't remember this correctly or not, but was there both daughters in the ballet scene or is it just one and she's actually a tree?

Sidey: No, the, yeah, the, the younger daughter was just scenery. Yeah. And the elder daughter was now the prima ballerina and was like shitting on all the fucking wa cuz they were bullying

Cris: Right. I just remember there was, one of them was a tree and she kind of winked from Yeah. From inside of. Tree and I, it's a bit of a step backwards, but yeah,

Pete: That was the one who wanted to marry Santa, wasn't it? So Yeah. She's, she's easily pleased. That one. Yeah. Being a

Reegs: on a quote, the nos artist is that of making others happy, which was attributed, but to Barnham, another one that is a phrase closely associated with him that possibly shines a bit of different light on him is there's a sucker born every minute.

Pete: Mm-hmm.

Reegs: And yeah.

Pete: And yeah, that's the, the end. I mean, in terms of him as a character in this, in this film, it's, it's, it's odd cuz he's, I, I guess sort of it's called The Greatest Showman. So that is singular and clearly sort of like referencing him. But he's, you know, he's very sort of driven and entrepreneurial and, and has this kind of like agenda right from the very beginning.

But he's also a massive, like, egomaniac with, with very few redeeming features. You don't really sort of see, I mean, he, he constantly fucks up and then sees Sierra of his ways and then fucks up again and.

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: Yeah, through throughout it, it's, it's all the other people that are around him, like his, his wife, his family, and, and all the, the cast of the, the show that he creates, who are the people with the, the, the better morals and, and better moral compass and so on.

But they, they forgive him incredibly easy for, easily for everything that he does throughout the film.

Sidey: needs one song and that's all it

Cris: takes.

Pete: song and acrobatics.

Reegs: is a really banging soundtrack, which my kids have sung millions of times and I have probably sung most of the songs with them in a car on Long Car Joe's completely clouds my judgment of course, as to what this is like, being so entrenched with watching it with my kids and enjoying the experience of watching something that wasn't complete horseshit.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah,

Reegs: So, you know, And it is a good soundtrack and all that stuff. There's loads problematic about it though.

Pete: I think if you, if you sort of dig, not even just like the film itself necessarily, but if you then start digging into barnham uh,

Reegs: the film I, the whole barnham thing I just, it's not, it's really clear to me that it's a fictional representation and it's about the things that, it's about diversity and the pursuit of dreams and overcoming adversity and the power of imagination and all that shit.

It's not really about a ruthless huckster being reframed as a kindly progressive type. You know, it's not about those things even though they're there is what I would say.

Sidey: Yeah,

Pete: Yeah. I mean, Like, I'm, I'm clear on this side of the table in terms of like, I, like I said, you know, I can't not love this film because of Rowan and how much he loves it.

And it, I mean, it's, it, you know, it's, it's got its own unique meaning to me as well because obviously, like Rowan is, is not irregular kid. And so because of that, i, I w I think I'm probably projecting onto it, that, that that's what he's taken from it. That he understands sort of like the, you know, his differences and so on, but the fact that this is the singular film that he has loved the most in his 13 years.

The, and, and, and specifically the song, this is Me as well, it's his favorite song, and he like sings it loudly and proudly whenever he can. It's there's, I do take something from that and so I absolutely adore this film because of that, but understand that it might not be for everybody, but I Right.

Reegs: I meant to ask you this specifically as a parent of somebody

Pete: somebody

Reegs: who, there's a child who's got a disability that, is that even the right word?

I don't even know what you say

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. He has a disability, a learning disability. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. So the, the message of you have to overcome your disability to be a valued member of society, which this movie comes kind of dangerously close to being its central message is quite an offensive one that is

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: One read on the movie that I think people object to.

Pete: I, I've pos possibly, I mean, I, I've not, as I say, I've taken it much more a kind of like a face value level. And, and as I say, I've probably projected, I know I've projected like more into it because he loves it because it's, it's showy, it's, you know, there's dancing, there's singing, and it's, it's just, you know, it's, it, it's a, it's a visual spectacle.

And, and, and he adores that. But, so let's throw it over. Yeah. Let's to the other side of the table where we have our, our greatest show in virgins and see who wants to go first.

Cris: Well, at the first time you, when he said to me that, ah, you should watch this. I was like, oh, that kid's movie.

I like, it's a family movie, Chris. I was, all right. Okay. Better watch this then. But I get it. I do understand At the same time, to your point, how close is dangerously close? An idea or of a, you know, you have to portray things in a certain way. The idea for me is now knowing about who this Barnum was and, and what he did and the quotes he had and the horrible things he did to people at the time.

This is today's interpretation of a, of a story. It's the same in a way. If I take a, a page of history and try to paint it today, it's very difficult in Hollywood, even in 2017 to, to put it exactly how it was, you, you just can't do that because this is today's society. Yeah. So then I do understand and, and how else you're gonna promote all these things and all this diversity and all the, all the messages, the positive messages that, that this movie should portray because it is a family movie, in my opinion.

A kid's movie, but a family movie. I did enjoy it. To be fair, it could be a lot shorter, if I'm being

Pete: not a, it's not a a, an extra, it's an hour 45 minutes, which is not

Sidey: a lot. 45 minutes off it.

Pete: it,

Cris: I would say maybe an hour 20, an hour 20 would be enough for me. But at the same time, I, I kind of enjoyed it.

It was, it was good enough. It was, it was good for kids, I guess. And for family, you said? I didn't, I didn't find it terrible, so, so that's always a bonus. But I, I do think that I, I have, I dunno, not a problem, but I can't focus when it's about singing. So for you guys, it's different because you drive with your kids in the car and you listen to these songs all the time.

Yeah. And, and it's, it's just kind of embedded in your brain. Even if you don't watch the movie that many times. If you watch it three times, you've heard the songs Yeah. 50 million times. Yeah. So then you are kind of related to them and you understand where they're coming from and you listen to lyrics all the time.

If you tell me all those names of these songs, I've never heard one of them in my life.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Ever.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: So then when you say that, ah, in the movie, if, if you tell me the name of the song when they do the dance with the bartender, when Efron and Zendaya Dance on the Ring and they get together when charity and, and Barnum get together for me, they kind of sound all the same.

Yeah. The only one that made an impression was when Jenny Lynn Yeah. Yeah. Sings because it's, it's such a different Yeah, yeah. Song and, and it's almost like watching a, I dunno, Adele or, or one of these

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cris: Top performers. Perform really, and do what they do best and in a, in an opera environment and all that.

Other than that, I mean, I get it. This was all right. I didn't, it wasn't the complete weather of my Sunday . So I dunno. It was, and, and again compared to some other terrible movies that I've watched, and the only thing I can say is I've, and, and don't get me wrong, I watched it with my girlfriend. It was funny. We watched a movie called Mrs. Harris goes to Paris with my girlfriend. So then if I watched that, this was amazing.


Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cris: So that's, that's my short take on

Pete: like a six outta 10.

Cris: Yeah. And, and you know, what if, if, if someone will say tomorrow, do you wanna watch that? No. Yeah. But if someone says, in a year's time, do you wanna sit down and watch an hour, 45 minutes of a movie? And I kind of know already what it's about.

I'm gonna look at it with different eyes and the music is still gonna be good. I'll say yes. The only thing I would say is I totally disagree with you on the man cross Zaffron. No, don't. Oh, I think he's a toot. Why? I just, I dunno.

Pete: Wow.

Cris: I, I just, he's, I think he's a midget, which I know you're not allowed to say.

He's a maybe a little person. He's a very little person. He can walk under

Pete: can't help his height

Sidey: walk

Cris: a horse. . He's, he's, and you said about Baywatch, if he, if, if he would've, if they would've put, I've seen the, like, the back tapes and that in Baywatch, the Rock is six foot four. He's three foot eight.

And, and honestly they put him on boxes in all sorts to be humanly looking next to the rock,

Pete: Wow.

Cris: which again, he can't help it, but, I, I think he's,

Pete: he, he reads my engine and what, what can I say?

Cris: He's got a very little man syndrome in real life, apparently, but,

Pete: I don't,

Reegs: Chris's height racism is starting to freak me out. Like maybe I'm, I'm in trouble.

Cris: No, I, I just, I, I don't care if you are short, but don't act like you're big, if that makes sense. But anyway side

Sidey: Most of the time when I was watching it, I was thinking, I honestly don't understand why Pete loves it so much, but you know, getting to hear you talk about it now obviously makes more sense.

I thought it was bang average, to be honest. Didn't hate it. The perfect musical already exists and that's the sound of music. And this is like nowhere near that. Absolutely nowhere near that. Not enough Zendaya in it. I would've liked more Zendaya but I did enjoy that she was in it. And also Rebecca Fe and like, big fan of both of those.

I also am in the Z Efron crash camp. But you don't get to sing with his shirt off really. It's disappointing. Songs didn't really do a lot for me. I wish everyone had died in the fire at the end. So um,

Pete: Strong,

Cris: recommend

Sidey: me.

Pete: another split camp.

Sidey: Trip

Reegs: down memory lane, Peter, for this one?

Pete: in keeping with my sort of go-tos for kids stuff cool theme tunes that I can remember. And I could remember the theme tunes to Captain Planet and I had no idea that it was, and the Planeteers, I didn't remember that bit, but I

Reegs: hero.

Cris: hero.

Pete: Gonna take pollution down to zero.

I hadn't seen this since I was a kid, but I could still recall all the lyrics of the theme tune to it. And, and Sadie's gonna add the theme tune here,

Sidey: wasn't it? Good?

Pete: it was a banger. But this was 1990s, captain Planet and the Planeteers. And cuz I always thought that like, you know, global, I've heard people talk about global warming and like, you know, pollution and stuff like that and always just assumed it was just like woke bell ends like just jumping on a bandwagon however

Sidey: goes, it goes

Pete: goes in the back.

But this is like, yeah, this is something that happened when, when I was young. And yeah, it's obviously a thing and but it's good to see that it was being addressed in a really kind of like, you know, thought provoking way back back in 1990.

Reegs: I think what's doubly brilliant about this particular episode that you chose for us is that we get that kind of iconic intro that I did really remember with Gaia talking about, you know, our world is in peril and with fire and blah, blah, blah, and introducing all the protagonists and stuff, and then we get to watch that again, but longer because it was season one, episode one.

Pete: does tend to be, I mean, that was similar with like Ulysses and a few others where I guess that

Sidey: But Sies was good.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. No, Ulysses Sies was good.

Reegs: was good.

Sidey: me.

Pete: that, the thing that I'm most excited about and it's not the, the episode itself is the fact that whilst we were, we were watching this all being subjected to it, depending on how you look at it in the, on these shores over in, in Romania, in communist Romania At

Cris: the time, no, it was after the

Pete: was after communism, but

Cris: But when, when I found out about it, it could have been made before 89, but obviously there was no access to that

Pete: Well, this, this was released in 90,

Sidey: they've obviously got a rusky. Um,

Cris: And she's from the

Pete: no, no. She's from the Soviet

Reegs: Soviet Union. Yeah.

Sidey: then, so we must be watching because it was, they changed it to because after the fall of the Soviet Union, they changed it.

Reegs: No, they red dubbed

Sidey: they re they, yeah, they redux

Cris: the Soviet Union was 92.

No. Yeah, it wasn't. When Romania, like the communism or the Iron Curtain, whatever you wanna call it, the Bernie wall, that was 89. Gorbachev was the one that broke down the Soviet Union in 92.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: So they had two years of. doing that while the Soviet Union still existed. Yeah.

Pete: But this was being pumped into the, into the living rooms of of Romania.

Cris: Straight after the revolution. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. I remember it. I, I told you it's the only, as soon as you, you told me, I said to my girlfriend, like, ah, I have to watch this. And she said, what, what are you talking about? And I started singing Captain Planet . He's a hero. And honestly, she looked at me like I had three heads.

It was amazing.

Sidey: This is, this is like the, the exposition episode. Yeah. Where there's a little bit of villain in an atta, like in anr Atta like

Reegs: a sort of oil rig walking at a oil rig. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. But Gaia appears and gives us the low down.

Reegs: Well, he starts drilling in,

Pete: sorry, I was Gaia voiced by

Reegs: Whoopy Goldberg.

Pete: Whoopy Goldberg. I mean, we're talking a-listers here.

Sidey: She's no longer cuz she's,

Reegs: she's canceled, man.

Sidey: she's been, well Judy

Pete: Oh, she's, yeah. She's a semi. Yeah. Right. But she was an Alister in 1990. Whoopy Goldberg was a fucking big deal.

Sidey: Kawai Kme that was voiced by

Pete: someone,

Sidey: Burton who was.

Pete: Basketball player

Sidey: off the

Pete: Starship.

Oh my God. Right. Well, whilst, whilst we're doing this, do, do you want some other like, voice acting credits in, in the series? Not necessarily in this episode, but in the series, in, in episode two, the villain, verminous Scum. Jeff Goldblum. Yeah. Other, other voice acting credits. Meg Ryan. Martin Sheen. Yeah.

James Coburn.

Sidey: Dean Stockwell was Duke Newcomb.

Pete: I don't, I saw the name of who's Dean Stockwell.

Reegs: Quantum Leap.

Sidey: Quantum Leap,

Pete: right. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. David Warner.

Sidey: The cricketer.

Reegs: cricketer, yes. Yeah.

Pete: No. The British actor that we've seen in things recently, I can't remember what. Anyway, look him up. And most importantly, the guy who played Cliff in Cheers was like with the Tash?

Yes. Him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He

Sidey: He was the Pixar

Reegs: he was in this, he was, he played rigger.

Pete: Oh, he, so he was in

Reegs: it was Ed Asner played the Hoggish. He's like this poor sign, sort of greedy businessman who looks like the older brother from home alone, I thought, but sort of cartoon rendition of him.


Sidey: yeah. Gaia's been a lazy bitch who's been asleep on the job for a hundred years. Yeah. And when she comes to, she's like, holy fuck, everyone's completely fucked the earth. He's been an all spill and the Forester on Fire or

Pete: there are some seagulls with oil on. Yeah.

Sidey: So she's got the Infinity gems knocking about Yeah.

Which she turns into some rings.

Pete: Infinity Gems, like is that inspiration for anything? Do we think?

Sidey: Possibly. And she just basically gets a really racially diverse group of people together.

Reegs: Yeah. Kwame's tending crops in Africa and he gets the power of Earth. And Ga ge from Asia.

Pete: from Asia.

Reegs: dolphins at SeaWorld.

Pete: the water.

She's the water. Squatter

Reegs: and I think a do dolphin throws the ring at her or whatever. And there's Wheeler. He is,

Pete: he's a dick. If

Reegs: you didn't hate this program already, but he is a real

Pete: dick. Well, he's the American guy, so that's, it's

Reegs: and he's shown stopping and mugging because they're like, oh, it's America. Somebody's getting mugged.


Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: A linker. She's Russian.

Pete: What? Soviet? She's Soviet. Yeah.

Reegs: She literally at the ends calls him a, an imperialist dog or something. It's unbelievable. Um,

Pete: Has the, she has the Power of wind, which is quite funny. And then the one that I, I, the only other thing I could remember about cats and planet is that the heart

Sidey: the wanks one.

Pete: was fucking pitiful. I remember even as a kid, what would I have been? 80 12. Yeah. Fucking

Sidey: would

Pete: like,

Sidey: like, Not bully people, but like if you were talking about this or playing, like you'd be the,

Reegs: be hard

Sidey: be the one who'd have

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cuz that is

Sidey: someone. Yeah. It's fucking

Pete: lame. And that is Mattie. Yeah.

Mattie. Mattie from South America. Did I look, we're all European in here, right? Mm-hmm. , I felt fucking hideously underrepresented in this.

Reegs: a white guy there. He's a.

Pete: Yeah, but he was American. Like

Cris: and a blonde woman

Pete: me. I'm

Cris: the Soviet Union.

Reegs: are basically just Europeans that went wrong a few hundred years

Pete: they're

Sidey: I had too much of my energy was being

Pete: they're like lobotomized Europeans.

Cris: you look on the map, Russia is on in Europe. So

Pete: Yeah. But the Soviet Union is like, yeah, it's all fucking,

Reegs: it's all, yeah.

Anyway, Gaia like teleports them to her magical island, which they don't give a shit about about it.

Cris: Island.

Reegs: Hope Island

Sidey: no trauma,

Pete: Nothing. It was called Hope Island. Yeah.

Reegs: And he's like, Wheeler is instantly really disrespectful. Hey lady, what you doing? Like

Cris: babe? She, he calls her babe.

Sidey: fit though,

Reegs: and she is literally the embodiment of the planet Earth. Yeah. So he should really be a bit more respectful in my humble opinion.

Pete: Yeah. Especially it's Whoopy Goldberg.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: well I'm pretty sure that is, I think in Roman mythology or one of the mythologies, the Gaia is the, the, the is the, in I think Greek mythology is hero and in Roman mythology is Gaia, as in the, the goddess of earth or whatever.

So, yeah.

Reegs: she gives them the rings and tells him they have like a limited control over Yeah.

Try it. An element of nature. Yeah.

Sidey: And the wind wander does some wind, does a tornado or something around her. She can kind of fly with it. And then she explains that if you all, you know, do your

Pete: well with your powers combined,

Reegs: will happen. She teases

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: You will get a Superman composite. Yeah.

Cris: Well, she doesn't tell them that. She just kind of, it'll

Reegs: implies it. She's like, oh, you know, when things come

Sidey: it would be handy to just explicitly tell them.

Reegs: Yeah. But what's she gonna say? When you do this, A silver skinned green head,

Sidey: with wearing his pants. Yeah.

Pete: Hang on. He's blue. He's he's blue with a quiff green, high top mullet.

Reegs: Was he blue? I thought he was kind of silver. Wasn't

Pete: on my tv. He was blue. Blue. Yeah. Yeah. Well, it kind of begged the question to me, why not just create cats and planet and leave these kids alone and fuck the rings

Sidey: anyway when he's, when he's

Pete: done. No. Although

Cris: need to watch the whole series.

Pete: Although,

Sidey: Although, no, I don't

Pete: in, in, even in this episode, he gets himself in a bit of, because even though he can be stabbed with a massive knife,

Sidey: be incapacitated.

Pete: Yeah. With some toxic

Cris: pollution.

Reegs: Well, that's his kryptonite, isn't

Pete: it? Well, of course. Yeah. And so then that's why he needs the, what are we calling them? The groovy gang? I can't remember the

Cris: The

Reegs: is, yeah.

Cris: Then,

Pete: yeah. So,

Reegs: Hoggish, MC, greedy, whatever his name is, the, he's been like phonically spraying his

Pete: yeah

Reegs: JZ mark into the, and it's like, the Exxon Valdez type oil spill. And they have to come and clear it all up,

Pete: don't they? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Lots of animals covered in oil.

Sidey: the, the American one wheeler says, why are we doing this?

We're not getting any money.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: That's the only time I agreed with him in the whole whole time

Sidey: capitalism. Yeah.

Reegs: They do try and kill him with a drill, don't they? But it just tickles him. Have we, man? We've manifested Captain Planet by now. Have we?

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But, but the powers combined. They, they do Earth brilliant. And then that some Dick goes heart at the end of it, and then captain in Planet please. And he's blue, not g, not silver, I dunno what you're going on about.

Got an incredible haircut. And

Reegs: like Nick Kershaw's style,

Pete: yeah. Yeah. Mum thing.

Sidey: Oh, like, yeah, Grimmy.

Reegs: Yeah. , yeah.

Sidey: Yeah, he smashes the yata up a bit until he gets toxic waste and then they give him a wash and the sunlight

Pete: Well, yeah. She can't muster any water like the squirter can't muster any squirt.

And so they have to go to the sea and bring that

Sidey: is where the whole thing is taking place.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. And then like chuck, chuck some sea water and then he, and then he's fine

Reegs: move a huge boulder next to him, don't they? So that the ATAC can't crush him.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah. They do. They do that.

Cris: The only thing I would say is, is exactly what we were talking the other, the day with the new Jack City is, is a different impression.

On, on different times. No, I, I hate

Sidey: I hated this when I was a kid. I

Reegs: I did as well.

Cris: Yeah. I, I thought it was amazing really, because

Sidey: I was being told off

Reegs: Yeah. . Yeah.

Cris: at the same time, Sidi, we were exposed to either Romanian or Bulgarian cartoons. , which if I, if I would tell you how it was or if you would see it now,

Reegs: Simpsons, you know where they're like, where they get the budget version of ITI and Scratchy.


Cris: it was black and white and it was just dark cartoons.

There was nothing happy about the cartoons.

Pete: with like, like loads of fucking propaganda. Like

Cris: hidden in them. So, and

Sidey: oh, so this is like a technical dream.

Cris: This was when you see a blue man in with green hair and pants on, this is That's inspirational.

Pete: it, especially if it's Z Efron

Cris: is inspirational and, and obviously now when I've seen it, I was thinking, this is terrible, but

Sidey: He does say the day.

Reegs: Yeah. But, right. How much environmental damage do you think he really did closing that pipe up? By spinning a whirlpool underwater? I mean, I thought that was just

Pete: then he just displaced a rock which would've had a load of like habitat. What about the crabs that lived under that

Sidey: went rock pooling last summer. Yeah. And like explicitly told, if you lift up a rock to look at what's underneath Yeah. Make sure you fucking put that back exactly how it was.

Cause it's taken, you know, however many years for it to all be like that. And that's the heaven end. He just fucks it with a huge boulder, the gun

Pete: Yeah.

Reegs: yeah.

Pete: Yeah. But he does, he does, he does like take down the, the big at at thing and everything.

Reegs: And there's some lighthearted animal washing at the end. Uh, With weed

Sidey: not we don't get

Pete: the animal washing bit was, was amazing. Cause I was thinking, right, there's an obvious candidate for cleaning up the animals here and that's the water squirter bird.

Right. But the wind girl gets involved and blows the oil, like off the, off the

Sidey: like collateral.

Pete: Just

Sidey: So, and the pro

Reegs: we get, hang on, we got a little coder, don't we? Where you get

Sidey: That's what it's about to moan about.

Reegs: Yeah. This is when he's like a direct call to action to you to go and nag your parents not to go in the car.

Sidey: and that. And that's what, because I had, I did watch a few of these when I was a kid and you would just be like, oh, about to get told off again. Roman comes back and I lectures you about like not picking rubbish

Pete: something that, that was a theme of like cartoons of that time. Do you remember like, cities of gold it would like, but it would give you like a little educational piece on like the ins or something like that. Which,

Sidey: and was class, which was

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Whereas this was like basically like whatever it is you're doing, fucking stop doing it because you're destroying the planet and now we've fucked it even more, which is quite funny.

Reegs: I think it's pretty sad that the environmental messages it was preaching about and that I was bored about when I was 10 or whatever are still so strongly, you know, I mean, it's all there. We should still be doing the shit that it's talking about.

Pete: Yeah. Don't, don't go drilling for oil in your massive attach Yeah.

Wherever you want.

Sidey: who was originally down to do the voice of captain Planet

Reegs: Harvey Weinstein?

Pete: No.

Cris: Greta, no. Prince Phillip.

Sidey: Tom Cruise.

Pete: Oh, was it

Sidey: Yeah, he was down for six episodes and then backed out probably cuz he saw how fucking crap it is.

Cris: Or he got into Scientology.

Sidey: Yeah. But anyway, strong recommend from me.

Reegs: He,

Pete: did, it did actually, I dunno if the uh, the version that, that you guys watched, finished with the, which I laughed about a lot as a kid, where it comes up with Dick , like, and I can't believe that that like was a, do you remember it? Like d i c Dick and I You are, you used to wait for the end of program just so I could see Dick come up on my screen and have a laugh about that.

I was an only child. There was no one to laugh with.

Sidey: Yeah. Oh, absolutely.

Pete: am an only child, Yeah, no, it was wonk. This wasn't

Reegs: it's terrible. Yeah,

Pete: was, but there was loads of fucking big names behind

Cris: There's no defending it, but, well, I've seen

Pete: Sheen was like doing

Sidey: I know Apocalypse Now and then this

Pete: it?

Sidey: It's mental.

Pete: It's absolutely mental. So who got behind this?

Cris: I dunno. The, the, it was a positive message, but I think the delivery and, and the way they've done it was not the greatest. Yeah. And it has, I'll have to say Yeah.

Pete: it was turre in the first place. Yeah. Mm-hmm. . Okay, good. I like the thing you, you turned your nose up at the theme tune.

It's catchy. Tell me you are not gonna go home and you'll be making some toast or something. But Captain Planet, he's a

Sidey: tree's the best thing about it, but it's not as good as some the other theme tunes we've had on here.

Pete: It's, it's still like, the fact I can remember the lyrics like 30 years on is yeah. Testament to how strong it is.

Cris: strong

Reegs: game then side. Have you got something for us,

Sidey: No, I haven't got anything for us. I don't know who's gonna be around this week. Who's around this week? Anyone?

Reegs: Actually, I don't know if I am. I dunno. I'll have to go back to you on that.

Sidey: Okay.

Pete: I might, I might be able to make something happen.

Sidey: Okay, cool. Well, one of the three of us can nominate some

Cris: I will be available next week.

Sidey: week. All right. Happy days.

It was nice to be not doing this remotely, I to say. Yeah. But even though we've been doing it remotely, we've had strong engagement. Yeah. Numberwise, which is always good. That's number Wang. But all it remains is to say society signing out

Reegs: out,

Pete: goodbye.

Cris: See ya.