Jewels and The Duallists

The Duallists

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, the podcast that is to film criticism as a cherry picker and an angle grinder are to museum security. This week we're getting all precious with the top five jewels, a countdown that features more carrots than a vegan shopping list and more questionable acquisitions than the British museum's basement.

Our main feature takes us all the way back to 1977 for Ridley Scott's directorial debut. The due lists where two French officers spend 15 years attempting to murder each other over a slight so minor, even they've forgotten what it was by the end. It's basically a period drama about workplace harassment if HR complaints were settled with swords and the conflict resolution process lasted through the entire Napoleonic war.

Before we start appraising anything, there are of course the usual disclaimers we're about to reveal more than a museum whose surveillance password was Louvre. And if you're expecting the Hope Diamond, I'm afraid you've more accurately arrived at Claire's accessories. Let's meet this week's crown jewels of mediocrity.

Starting with Dan. [00:01:00] He's so old. He remembers when diamonds were rare and not just aggressively marketed by DeBeers. And his fuck giving reserves were exhausted using the same child labor practices they employed in South African mines.

Dan: More true stories.

Reegs: Fondling. His gemstones. The man who's been practicing his sword play all week and assures me the secret is getting the tip in just at the right angle.

It's sidey. Hello. And then there's me res. Hello, hello.

Dan: Hello. What you been up to, Riggs?

Reegs: I've been watching some stuff. We've been off, we've, we've been off regular scheduling for a little while and we had a missed week and stuff, didn't we? So I have actually managed to catch up with a few things. I watched season three of the White Lotus, which was absolutely fucking brilliant.

I strongly recommend all three seasons. Third one's brilliant. I'm three episode into Vince Gilligan's new Apple TV show. Pluribus

Sidey: very good.

Reegs: It's really strange. Type fifties B movie type premise.

Sidey: She everyone's happy apart

from her. Is that the sort of premise?

Reegs: Well, is it too early for spoilers? Because there is a huge spoiler.

It's revealed in the first two or three minutes of the [00:02:00] program, but it's not in the marketing, which is that aliens have arrived and have basically taken over. They've, everyone's joined a kind of hive mind except for like 11 people in the world, rear seehorn being one of them. But so it's kind of this weird fifties B movie thing, but it's clear they just said.

We'll do whatever you want him to do. And there's like some scenes that look like they must have cost a trillion dollars to put together and they're there for like 30 seconds. Like mad imagery, some kind of interesting ideas. Still maybe lacking a slight narrative hook. I don't know. And Stranger things season five.

Sidey: Yeah. I've also watched that Goddammit fucking drip feed bullshit. It is just big popcorny fun, isn't it?

Reegs: It's okay. Yeah. They, they care a lot more about like what's going on than I do, I think. 'cause it's sort of all whirling up into be the same stuff over and over again. That

Sidey: It's the last series.

Reegs: Yeah. I'm, I, I am enjoying it, but yeah,

Dan: I'm just gonna wait till it's all dropped and then catch up big time.

Sidey: Have you watched anything done?

Dan: No, not really. I've been [00:03:00] moving house and not my own other people's and that's taken up.

A lot of my time and back and strength and knees and, and everything. So I don't wanna watch anything with houses in for a little while or around moving houses.

Reegs: So everything's gotta be set

Sidey: Not a lot of house content in this, the movies this week,

Reegs: Yeah. If you'd watched the dualist, you've had a good, good amount of outdoor stuff.

Sidey: I mean, there is buildings in it, but not, it's mostly outdoor.

Dan: Well, it, it's, as you said before, setting in the. Napoleonic war kind of era. But given that the budget was so small, there's not a lot of war scenes, if any. I think it's just That's right. Empty buildings and things. But we will get into all that 'cause that's what we're here for.

Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Seems

a long time since we did a talk five, so we haven't got anything to catch up on there. No. Did

Reegs: you, did you miss anything that you wanted to talk about or.

Sidey: or? I have been rewatching the glass onion movies [00:04:00] because the third one is coming out. Yeah. Next week I think. So just wanted to watch them.

Reegs: You like a, who done it

Dan: do like, I like a

Sidey: a, I do like a murder mystery. Yeah.

Dan: And who, who done it onto your head there? What have you got on your head?

Reegs: Well,

we're all wearing Christmas hats,

Dan: are all wearing Christmas hat's. December 1st,

Reegs: what color am I? Am I purple?

You

Dan: purple. You are, you are

Sidey: look,

Dan: I would say. Yeah. Am I

Sidey: would say, yeah, I'm purple.

Am I?

Dan: Turquoise? Turquoise

And I'm a red.

And why haven't we been Podding recently? What have you been up to? I

Sidey: I went away for lads weekends, myself, Peter, and Christian, and a couple other guys. We went to the Fat Dark, went to the Farmer's dog, which was pretty rubbish. I went to the Coventry Building Site Arena.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: The reorg. Is it not the reorg

Sidey: No, it's different. It's a different, it's the Coventry building side arena. We didn't unfortunately have enough time to find Pete's brick.

'cause he has a brick

Reegs: he's got his own brick.

Sidey: Yeah. Next to Richard Keys. Oh. Two peas in a pod. So we did that.

And that's key.

Reegs: Key. He's got his fucking furry hands werewolf next to him.

Yeah.

Sidey: Did that. So [00:05:00] when we went to Cov we weren't obviously gonna go out and Coventry I don't want to offend any Coventry listeners, but it just didn't seem. Like, great. So we drove, we turned, ran after the game and we went to Oxford and we we went out in Oxford and

Reegs: Oh, Oxford's nice, isn't it? Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. A really nice steak restaurant. Expensive. It wasn't expensive was, in fact, I can tell you that. So that's why I was, that's why we didn't have anything last week 'cause we didn't, we weren't organized enough to record anything No. Before I write and I didn't have time to edit or do anything really.

So, kind of back on for regular programming until Christmas and.

Reegs: stuff.

How

Sidey: all disorganized again. Yeah. Yeah. But I have also ordered some new

Dan: Oh, I was, gonna,

Sidey: That's

Dan: say that is Christmas is coming early. Maybe

Sidey: could do, we could do it like from the pub.

Dan: it's gonna be so exciting.

Sidey: Yeah.

Anyway, should we crack on with the top five?

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: that.

Sidey: unless anyone had anything else to say. No.

Reegs: Will we still be wearing earphones?

Sidey: I don't think so.

Reegs: We'll just be chatting. They'll be like,

Sidey: we'll put on a YouTube [00:06:00] video of how they work later, I guess.

Reegs: idea.

Sidey: Right.

We did dual. Yeah. For the midweek. We all really enjoyed that. We're doing the dual lists.

Yeah. So we're doing top five duals. I amusing. There we go. Yeah. Should I set, start the ball rolling How about the heart of graffiti?

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: From Mo Ana I think there was a trailer actually for the live action. I hate that trend of making all the good animated stuff into live action.

Just leave. Just leave it. Whereas and this one, it's not even old to, to get like a, oh, remember though when it was animated. Yeah, it was like two years ago. Anyway I really enjoyed that film. It's the last thing I think I've seen that I enjoyed the rocking and less.

Reegs: I haven't seen the Smashing Machine yet. And that does

Sidey: I haven't seen that, but I just find him being a bit fucking pretentious twat and I, unless the Fast Furious spinoff was after the marijuana, I dunno.

Anyway that is the heart of the island, which, the Rocks character, I can't remember his [00:07:00] name of Maui. Maui has stolen that and that's caused everything to go to shit. Yeah. And they have to find it. Well, Murano is basically given it by the ocean and she has, it's her mission to take it back. Yeah.

Save the islands and all the rest of it. It's good, really good. Good songs, good animation. Good.

Dan: I've, I've got a film very similar to that. It's uncut Gems. It's absolutely nothing like that.

We did this for the pod, didn't we?

Sidey: What is it? It's a black thing,

Reegs: Black opal opal. That's, yeah,

Dan: that's right. He's Howard Ratner, a New York jeweler. He's gambling a dick a gambler, he's a gambler. And,

Reegs: it's so tense, this movie, like, I'm getting sweaty palms just remembering watching this movie.

Dan: Yeah. It, it was, it is not normally the kind of film that I like watching because I don't like to feel like I'm sweating through my teeth in. The whole way through a, a film. But Adam Sandler completely different to how we've seen him before. And I really enjoyed [00:08:00] watching him in this, you know, give this kind of performance because

he's pushing his boat out really, and, and showing you something that you thought that he couldn't do, but doing it really well.

And you forget it's Adam Sandler. You just see this guy who, has a whole series of problems all, all the way through it.

Reegs: his gambling addiction, completely spirals out of control.

Dan: living on the edge. And you can see it's all gonna come down on him. And you just

Reegs: do you remember he selling that? He's trying to get, I think it's Kevin Garnet and he's got like that diamond in crusted Furby that he's trying to sell him in his in his shop.

Amazing.

Dan: Yeah. 'cause it's all around

jewelry

and basketball and all, all the rest of it. Really decent uncut gyms.

Reegs: Loved it. What about Pretty Woman?

Sidey: Yeah,

Dan: pretty Woman. Kinda light that one. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: The Richard Ge with his like unbelievable hair and tan and

Dan: Work it, work it, work it, work it. When she goes out to. He's in a Ferrari, [00:09:00] isn't he? When he goes to pick her up and her friends go work it, go work it, and you see ju Juliette Roberts just looking smoking hot. Yeah. And he is the multimillionaire business man who acquires small businesses and who that are being a bit shit and or big business of being a bit shit.

And he breaks 'em up, doesn't he? And he's made. Billions and millions are doing it. And she is just

Sidey: a whore.

Dan: yeah, In many ways. But love

Reegs: he gives her a a necklace at one point in it. It was designed specifically for the film at 23 pair cut rubies surrounded by diamond hearts in it designed by the famous ju jeweler, Fred Jole maybe.

And there's a scene that was, I think in the trailers and one that you remember where he like opens a box and she goes to take it and he snaps it. Oh, it was improvised as well. Aw,

Dan: she laughs. Yeah. Sweet God. And she looked so hot. [00:10:00]

Sidey: never found her particularly to my taste.

Dan: Oh, she was then.

She was everybody's taste. She was Julia

Sidey: not mine.

Re's.

Reegs: I think that was

Sidey: me. Was that you? Was it so I thought it was Dan or was he Whiting on so much about

Reegs: that.

Dan: Yeah. Well, you know,

Sidey: What about, there's slightly grotty ones hang on. If I can

Reegs: Grotty jewels.

Sidey: Yeah. They're more like stones. Dirty. Do San Stones from Indiana Jones.

The Temple of the Lost Doom. Oh

yeah.

Forever Diamond Crystal Skulls. They're the, there's three of them. The village. Have them as there. Yeah. Village. Yeah, I was gonna say fertility. That's not right, is it? It's it's a bit

Dan: like your marijuana film. Yeah. A

Sidey: Little bit. Yeah. Yeah. It's like some you a theme.

Yeah. And they're taken away. And the village, like the crop dies and everything goes to shit. And

Dan: Are they the only jewels you like the ones that belong to a village or a town that, that you

Sidey: No. Well, I'm not big into my jewels anyway. I have to be honest. But

Reegs: no, [00:11:00] none of us have got any like diamonds or anything on now have

Dan: Well, I've taken off my gold cassio ring.

Sidey: Wow. Awful. Yeah. Yeah, India has, has to go and, like can retrieve them from some sort of shaman dude. And they do, they sort do catch fire and stuff. They get hot, don't they, at the end, but he has when he retrieve them. So yeah, in dj, that's, that's not the worst one of the films, but when there was just the original three, I would have watched Raiders and Last Crusade and I would always dodge this.

I thought, shit,

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: well,

a film that I'm not sure we've ever done for the pod, but.

You

certainly heard of Baz. Mann's Great Gatsby.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Leo plays our, kind of top man. And there's Tiffany Jewels all the way through this, which just shows Gatsby's obsession with, with status and everything all the

Sidey: Jay Gatz

Dan: Jay Gatz Carrie Mulligan, Toby McGuire, Jola Edgerton

Sidey: Lord, are you going? Yeah

Dan: all in this,

It's

Reegs: actually [00:12:00] her pearl necklace that she ends up casting down the hallway. It's given to her by Tom, I think as she's getting engaged or maybe even on the day of the wedding. 'Cause I was gonna do a whole bit about pearl necklaces.

Dan: Well, some of the tiaras and headpieces were so heavy that the actors could only wear them in short takes Can you imagine that kind stone and

Sidey: that whole text, it's like everyone just fixates on like parties but don't actually like get the message of the book or what about at all.

Which I guess happens all the time,

Reegs: there. Strong

Sidey: There's also the Robert Redford version.

Dan: Yeah,

Robert. But I went Leo?

Sidey: Yeah, I know. Did, yeah.

Reegs: Well, I'll carry on. Yeah. With the Pearl necklaces. All the Batman movies have a pearl necklace being ripped off in slow motion. Yeah. Somehow to some degree, every origin story. Fairchild Van Denberg, [00:13:00] Amy Plar in Blades of Glory she tries to sabotage, remember Jimmy and Chaz's routine, and she throws a pearl necklace and we go, I think to one of the individual pearls points to that.

And he breaks his ankle and home alone too. Your favorite lost in New York starring,

Sidey: Donald

Dan: Donald. Trump. Yeah, indeed.

Reegs: Kevin is chased through the streets of New York by the wet bandits, and he gets a cheap, like pearl necklace thing and throws up the

they fall over. Hilarity ensues, of course.

Yeah.

Sidey: What about stone? I'm trying to find another, another shitty one. Well there's a strong,

Dan: It's another, it's another stone. I just thought romance man. The stone was right up your street.

Sidey: got

another stone. 'cause there's quite a lot of jewel content in the Harry Potter movies. Yeah, you've always of course got the philosophers stone.

Reegs: That's

more stone though, is it?

Or was it a jewel

Dan: A stone jewel.

Sidey: It's a blood red alchemical jewel that grants immortality.

And there's slitherin locket that's like [00:14:00] a necklace thing with a dark kind of jewel on

Reegs: sounds like an urban

Sidey: a, a haw rock, which has to be destroyed in the

Reegs: I destroyed

Sidey: Hall Park shoe, I think. So strong Harry Potter. There's also loads in, lord the Rings as well, I guess.

Dan: And rinky dink panther. Yes. Of course we, we'd done that not so long ago. Peter Sellers, David Niven Robert Wagner. You've got CSO attempting to catch the, the Jewel Fief, who's after the priceless Pink Panther diamond.

Yeah. And

inspired a, a few other kind of decades of Pink Panther films and, and everything. I

quite enjoyed this when we watched it for the pod, as I remember. There was some amazing scenes of old actors being really, really hot thinking

Sidey: actually died very soon after we reviewed the film, didn't she?

Dan: Yeah. I think she'd been holding on for our review. Yes. And [00:15:00] eventually she was allowed to go in peace.

Reegs: I'll

rattle through a couple of quick ones. Titanic. Course

Dan: course. Yeah.

Reegs: What is she? What is the fucking

Dan: LOBs it over blue.

Reegs: me like your French

Sidey: Yeah, the blue goral is the name of the, the heart of the ocean is the necklace, isn't it?

Reegs: Draw me like your French girls. Yeah, I've often said that to the Mrs.

And the Ruby slippers in Wizard.

Sidey: of Wizard,

Oz.

Wizard, sleeve of Oz.

Reegs: The dark crystal. Is a crystal really a jewel? I don't know. I didn't look that up. And because I've got a few crystals here as well. 'cause there's strong crystal content in Star Wars as well. Ber

Sidey: Oh Yeah.

I've got some band names and one of them's got Crystal in

Reegs: it.

Oh well let's have it. Crystal Method.

Sidey: Yeah. They, this theme Song to Bones. Did you ever watch that?

Reegs: No.

Sidey: No. Really, really formulaic. Yeah. And also, not Zoe Denel, the elder sister. Not quite fancy Emily Denel.

Reegs: Know she had a

Sidey: yeah, she's in [00:16:00] that she was Temperance. Dr. Temperance Brennan, I should say. Pearl Jam.

Yeah. Crystal Methods,

Dan: Harbor.

Sidey: some other things, but then diamonds are Forever by Shirley Bassey it of some songs. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, Marilyn Monroe. Lucy in the sky were diamonds. Yeah. Beatles and so on and so on and so on.

Reegs: on. Yeah. No, it's a good ones. Lou Diamond Phillips. Yeah.

Emerald Fennel. Ruby Wax. Amber Heard Jade Jagger. Amber,

Sidey: Amber

Reegs: This is a good one. I look this

Dan: up. Amber's like a resin really, isn't it?

Reegs: Mm. Amethyst. Amelia Kelly is the birth name of Iggy Azalea.

Sidey: Okay.

Didn't she have a butt implant operation?

Reegs: Did she? I think so. Baby. Got back. Yeah. And Alf Garnet,

Sidey: Oh, of course.

Dan: I've,

I've

I've got two left and one of them may be my noms because I've only got two

Reegs: yeah, yeah, let's do it.

Dan: I was quite sure which one was gonna be my nom. But I'm now I'm gonna switch it right at the end. Raffi is the film that I'm [00:17:00] gonna mention now. It's that French film that has the amazing 30 minute silent jewel bank robbery scene.

The old black and white film. French Noir Classic maybe one of the best heist movies ever made. Jean Sava, Carl Monier and Robert Manuel they all kind of execute a intricate. Paris jewelry store heist. But the one that I really enjoyed watching a clip from the other day was only falls in horses when they're doing the crystal chandelier.

And it's the six episode of the, the series and the

the

directors said to, not David, Jason, but Nicholas Lindhurst. He said, look, whatever happens here, we've got one go at this. Yeah, we've got one. Go. Do not laugh. They can't be. You've [00:18:00] gotta be. Absolutely. If, if you laugh during this scene, then

Reegs: that's it.

Dan: It's,

we can't use the, we haven't got. More budget to, to run anymore. We can't do it again. We can't run the the, the scene again. The B, b, C want six episodes, not five. So that means the whole series is gonna be shelved as well. They won't have it. So whatever you do, do not laugh and you see them kind of going up the ladder, you know, and you've got Albert there doing the, the chandelier, and of course it's the wrong chandelier.

Mm-hmm. And it comes crashing down and they're, they're brilliant. You know, they're just absolutely deadpan. But he says, in the corner of my eye, Nicholas, Linda, when he said, he said he saw the, the director, and he's just, what he's done, he's. He's put a, a handkerchief in his mouth, like he's just stuffed it in his mouth and he'd just see his shoulders just going up and down.

[00:19:00] Like

Sidey: and

Dan: said, I've gotta hold it there until it, until the end of it. And it was just such a, a, a brilliant account that I thought that'll be my norm.

Sidey: Nice.

Reegs: I, I'll go for Uncut Gems. I love that movie.

Sidey: Cool. I'm gonna put in the Five Diamond Award from Oceans 13. That's Al Pacino

1. He keeps opening hotels and getting this five Diamond award being the best hotel in the world. And he's won it so many times.

And because he's a bastard to edit Go's character. Wow. Their revenge mission is to steal all his diamond awards from him, which they do. They do do. Thats probably a

Reegs: they do actually do that. Yeah.

Sidey: And there's a whole plot thing about big nose in it, which, so that resonates as well. Yeah.

Dan: Well let's have your diamonds and your jewels.

And we're looking for two noms.

Sidey: We are indeed.

So I will confess to not being. Completely an Iraqi and totally knowledgeable about Ridley Scott's back catalog. So having picked Jewel, I searched [00:20:00] for other films with Jewel something. And this came up the Dualist, so, 1977 debut. Feature of Ridley Scott.

Reegs: I'd never seen this.

Sidey: No.

Dan: I've seen this a couple of times actually.

Yeah.

Reegs: it's

in your area because it's a period drama obviously, and that actually is not my area. It's usually something that turns me off a bit.

Dan: And it was the year I was born as well, 77 which meant nothing to me at the time. 1770. Yes. Well we were talking about, isn't it?

Sidey: It stars Harvey Cartel as well.

So that

Dan: yeah, that was interesting.

Reegs: it, it's based on a, a story written by Joseph Conrad also called the Dualists, which in itself was based on a newspaper article that he'd read 10 lines, I think. Which then he filled in

Dan: which was

Reegs: to create

Dan: based on a true story of people

Sidey: two. Twats.

Dan: Two, two twats two assholes. Really. One particular asshole who just liked a, a fight in a jewel and very [00:21:00] stubborn men of honor as it would go because neither then wanted to, to back down after they had been

Sidey: Well, I think one would've, but anyway. First one we kind of meet, correct me if I'm wrong,

Reegs: we start with a quote

Actually,

Sidey: I have always missed this

Reegs: Duelist demands satisfaction. Honor for him is an appetite. This story is about an eccentric kind of hunger is what they tell us. And then it starts with like an idyllic French village, I think called German Village. Is it no

French?

Sidey: in Normandy.

Dan: French then.

Reegs: Strassburg.

They're in

Sidey: They're Strat

Reegs: And it's all idyllic geese and all that stuff.

Sidey: oh, it's a girl just walking through with some geese in front of my dog start to kick off. She comes to a kind of clearing and then there's a big sort of field and me lookout and there's some people stood around watching an actual jewel happening and it's Harvey Cartel's, Gabrielle Pharaoh.

And could tell just by looking at me, he knows what he's doing

Reegs: and the other guy clearly doesn't know what he's doing. He sort of toys with him a [00:22:00] bit, doesn't he? And

he

Sidey: sort of slaps him down a few times until he eventually cut. I think he, first of all, he cuts his hand and then the guy just gets a bit crazed and comes towards him and he just skewers him.

Like a stuck pig?

I don't think he's dead, but they do say he was as good as

Reegs: severely wounded. Yeah. And it turns out this guy is actually the nephew of the mayor of Strasberg. So, yeah, he's got

Dan: which

is when a little bit later on he receives a message from his next dual victim or competitor or enemy or whatever you wanna call it. And he basically doesn't like the message. So he ends up,

Sidey: well, I think word gets back to his commanding officer. He's like, what the fuck? Like, you know, we've just stabbed, basically killed the mayor's nephew. Yeah. And he doesn't like all this bullshit anyway. He is like, we've got fucking actual jobs to do here.

Yeah. But we do get the sense he's

Reegs: big on dueling officers as well, so this is already a bit of a problem. So he sent out, pending an investigation, [00:23:00] go this guy Bert, who vaguely has heard of Faroh or

Sidey: know

Reegs: him, and Bert is obviously a career military man. He is sent out to go and tell Faroh that he's gotta go under house arrest, essentially, and he's gonna bring him in.

So when he goes down, he looks all over town and then he ends up back at Farrow's house where he learns that he's at a party with this Madam de Leon. And he goes down there and he just tells him, basically outright the guy that you. K was connected, like you said, I've gotta bring you in. And he's absolutely

Sidey: he's he is fucking enraged and he is like, how dare you?

Reegs: He's like, how dare you. I'm the man who was, I was wronged by all this, you know, and then immediately kicks off.

Sidey: like, we're gonna fight

Reegs: Yeah. he's you've insulted me for even trying to do this. We are going to have a due right now. Which they do. They break out some sabers.

And Farrow is actually,

Sidey: yeah, I'm in Van Huen beats

Reegs: Yeah. Winded in this one, isn't he? And

Sidey: I, I think he has

Reegs: separate ways.

Sidey: think Do, what's his name? Dober. Yeah. He has a [00:24:00] couple of cuts, doesn't he? 'cause he, he gets a real fucking dressing down from the C He's like, you two, you know, you're just, you're a idiot.

Yeah. You know, flowery language or whatever that he uses. But essentially he's like, what the fuck was I supposed to do? Like I know I could literally couldn't, he was gonna either kill me or I fought him. Defend myself.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: So he goes to meet his mate who's a surgeon, Tom Conte. This is his good part. And he tells him, like, he tells him, basically, stay away from this guy. He's bad news.

Everybody knows he's bad news already before this, and he's challenged you to this. Like, and you know that it's gonna be an lifelong obsessive thing for him. Stay ahead of him in rank because you can't. He will be prosecuted if he like tries to go for you and you are the same level it is okay, but if if you're ahead of him in rank, it can't happen.

Sidey: I mean, yeah, he's, he's, he's. He was enraged just at getting the news that he was gonna be under arrest. So he's, you could imagine how he feels about having essentially lost that jewel. Yeah. Not gonna take it very well. No.

Reegs: No. So the action moves on, I think six months to [00:25:00] Augsburg. It's 1801. Sorry. Do bear and faroh, they clash again.

They use es this time like the thinner ones, isn't it?

Sidey: I thought it was quite good the way the, the sort of weapon ry or the, the method of the dual

Reegs: changes for each Juul. Yeah. So in this one, do bear Faroh gets the upper hand and do bear is quite seriously injured, but it's like it's blood running into his eyes and there's such a complicated system of honor around

Sidey: This isn't like a lawless complete, just shambles. There's people watching, there's, there's a code to

Reegs: at one point, at the start of the second fight, the fight pauses for do bear to blow his nose.

Sidey: He sneezes

Reegs: and, and he's like, he gives him a little nod sneezes. And he like gets his hanky outputs away. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: He sort of turns his back and he's allowed to do that because it's, it's honor.

Sidey: Mm-hmm.

Reegs: So yeah. Anyway, you can't, for whatever reason, you know, dub bears sort of won the first one. And Farrow sort of won the second one, but, and he kind of would offer to call it quits there, but Farrow's just not having [00:26:00] it. So he recuperates he's got

Sidey: girlfriend. He, he kind of skews him, doesn't he?

He skews in the shoulder and he says, I can't continue. Like, I, I need a sub, you know? And they're like, oh fuck, we have to leave it to the next time. So he disgruntled about that

Reegs: His girlfriend chews him out and she says, you are on a path to death with this guy. Just get away from it all. But he recuperates by honing his martial arts skills or his fencing skills with some swordsman, doesn't he?

So he gets better and better and better. And then we go to the next fight where they're just underground in some seedy place and they've just fought each other to a standstill and both men are bloody and like they're just eventually wrestling on the ground 'cause they've got nothing left, basically.

Sidey: Yeah, there's all sorts of wounds and cuts and they're in a pretty bad way.

Reegs: But then Dub Bear is promoted after that, which sort of keeps them apart for a little while. And then we move on, I think five years to Lubeck.

Dan: They just don't give up today,

Sidey: just keep

Dan: years later.

Sidey: Keep crossing each other's paths.

Reegs: At this point he's again about to be promo.

He [00:27:00] finds out that Farrow's in the city. Bert finds out and they're both captains now, so, oh fuck. Now we

Dan: But he's, he's about to be promoted to the Bears

Reegs: Yeah. He's two weeks away from it, so he's trying to lay low. But he does anyway. He does eventually get called out. They have a fight on horseback this time.

Sidey: This is nasty. He almost scalps

Reegs: Farrow Yeah.

And this time, yeah, Faroh can't continue the

Sidey: They sort of try and kid you on, 'cause you see the hat on the floor, you think, oh, he's cut his head off. Yeah. And then you see him on the floor and it's a nasty big flap of like skin hanging off his front of his forehead.

Like it's grim.

Reegs: Yeah. Both men now bear in the scars of this long fight and then, you know, do bear thinks he's won. I think he does like this triumphant jump over a, like a bale of a

Sidey: Yeah, he does.

Reegs: horse or whatever thing and then fucks off down to Spain and then it goes on another six years to Russia. 18 twelve's.

Absolutely brutal. It's like frozen dead soldiers everywhere. It filmed up in Scotland. This was, was it?

Sidey: was it?

Yeah.

Reegs: And they're there again. Both of them are part of a regiment where like high. [00:28:00] Commanding officers who've lost all their men, basically do the grunt work in a, in a sort of battalion themselves.

And they sort of recognize each other around a campfire and they make an excuse to fuck off into the woods to do it again with pistols this time. But then there's some coss acts.

Sidey: Yeah. They, they they get accosted, accosted by a cosack, and they have to actually work together

Reegs: Yeah. They're actually back to back at one point shooting off the Cossack and I think De Bear afterwards, like offers him some l some fucking lcu or whatever from his flask and like, you know, he's basically like quits now.

Right. And it, and Farrow's like, nah, fuck you. Next time it's gonna be pistols.

he jokes

Dan: doesn't he? He says pistols next time. And he just doesn't take the joke. He's like, yeah, that's for real. So you're

Reegs: moves on again to 18, 14 this time. We meet Bert and he's like a, he's really advanced in his military career.

He is also had quite a number of bad injuries and he's,

Dan: And they [00:29:00] both keep going up and up in ranks, don't they? You know,

Sidey: is a general, that Briga Day general.

Reegs: he's convalescing at, I think his sister's house recuperating from some battle. He's like this career military man, you know, he's made it and the. He,

Sidey: he, he's gets introduced to a chick.

Reegs: Yeah. And he's sort of rising up amongst the aristocracy now. 'cause Louis the 14th, I dunno of shit on my history in that, but Louis the 14th now is rising up against Napoleon's empire or whatever happened. I dunno, this is the bit with the sand worms and theta, isn't it?

So yeah, he he does, he ends up with that women and, and sort of very quickly after their courtship, he's sort of.

Wedded to her in, up amongst the aristocracy when he's approached by men who are affiliated to Phau to rise up against or to join Napoleon. Is that right?

Sidey: Is they the ones that just appear in the grounds? Yeah. They just say they're around the campfire and he walks over to them and they're, they're just like, listen, he's gonna be here tomorrow. You're gonna be here tomorrow? Yeah. And it's gonna go down.

Reegs: Yeah, but it's after the, [00:30:00] yeah,

yeah.

Sidey: that's, yeah.

There's some stuff about boots. There's like a whole cobbler section.

Reegs: There's the a hundred years war bit as well. 'cause there's a hundred days war, sorry. When Napoleon returns and all that. So this bit happens at the end of all that.

But yeah, they do eventually just meet out amongst some ruins.

Sidey: Yeah. They, they, they meet in the morning. It's gonna be two single shot pistols. Fire at will. Yeah. You fuck off that way? I'll go that way.

Reegs: way. I come from the east. You come from the west and we'll meet in the middle and

Sidey: Yeah. And eventually they,

Reegs: It is a lot of cat and mouse in

people

Sidey: come together with some ruins, don't they?

And Farrow sees him first and gets the shot away. And it looks like he's hit him as a. He's down on the floor and he is sort of, he's Armand Van Helden is up on the higher ground. Yeah. But he's down and he is kind of looking at his leg and he sees a kind of death rattle. He sort of twitched, doesn't he?

Yeah. And he thinks, oh, maybe I've got him. But he is, you know, can't be quite sure and he springs up fro, gets off his another shot. [00:31:00] he's out.

It's just

Reegs: and do bear's waiting for

Sidey: just got him and it's like, does he kill him? Does he not? Because it cuts without us knowing to him going back to the field where,

Reegs: well, he fires a bullet as well, but we see it's into the ground in the next

Sidey: Yeah.

'cause we see him. Farrows men are there and they think, well, fuck. He's come back. So he must have killed

Reegs: a shot fired

Sidey: And then they don't leave us in suspense. I thought they were gonna, I thought they were just gonna cut. But they don't, they go back and he, he tells him, look, fuck

Reegs: from this moment.

Consider yourself dead. Yeah. That's your, that's what you owe to me by the conventions of all of this stuff. I've vested you. You know it. And if that, and then the final shot is of Farrow. He looks very much like Napoleon Wood, I guess standing right on the kind of top of a valley. It looks absolutely beautiful with the sun coming down and it looks amazing and just sort of, yeah, defeated man.

But

Sidey: Yeah. But he's still alive, you know?

Dan: he's alive. Bert kind of returns to his pregnant wife and [00:32:00] sees out the rest of his days

Sidey: she, she didn't know he was going out on a ju she wouldn't have been too happy about that. And he c she comes in and he's got, you see him put the guns away, he rolls 'em up into a silk bag and then he, he puts them away and then he walks in the house, says, what's in the back?

And he's like, but he's, he's, is he stashed that way? And he is got an orange fur

Dan: Love.

Sidey: fucking love. No, I just been out. I was busy. I, I worked all night. And then I went out for a walk.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: So like two different kind of men, but bound by the same thing in a way. In a weird sort of way because like farrow's, like this ferocious animal and like only motivated by revenge and honor and

Sidey: but his entire motivation is just. Bonkers.

Reegs: I know stemming from this thing right at the beginning.

Sidey: did what? You did do that.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and Bert is really just doing the job. Yeah. But he's also bound into it by absurd notions of honor and stuff. He does want to walk, he

Sidey: yeah.

I think he, it, he, if there was anyone who was gonna walk away from it, it was dober.

Reegs: But he couldn't. Right. There's no way out without him either being like a [00:33:00] coward. Yeah. Or dying or like, so he has to just continually face

this. Yeah.

And it's obviously motivates him to rise throughout the ranks in the

Sidey: just to try and stay ahead of it.

Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Reminded me a little bit of. Do you remember there was a sketch in the far show called The Long Good Punch up where was just two guys continually Yeah. Like pointlessly just beat each other up. Yeah. This is what this film is. Yeah. I did like the way they leveled up the weapons each time. That was Sky Music and the costumes and the way it looked were like incredible.

They didn't have enough money. Like everything that they filmed was just what was there. The buildings, they didn't build a set or anything like that. It was all just on location.

Dan: Again, a,

a, debut, you know, and Ridley Scott's just sense of place and epic

Reegs: Oh, his outdoor locations were just sensational in this and they must've filmed it. Like to get the light the way they did was just amazing.

Some sorts.

Sidey: Yeah. Obviously he'd, he'd done a million, maybe, maybe one or two, less than a million, but a lot of

Reegs: about 2000.

Sidey: Yeah, it's a lot. And no one was gonna give him a [00:34:00] chance. So he did all the finance this himself. He got the story written.

Reegs: Oh, did he really? Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was all self-funded.

Reegs: Oh, I, I really enjoyed this actually.

Sidey: Again, I'm glad it didn't go any longer because it was just getting a bit preposterous with just like one fight off another. But I was, I was enjoying it.

Reegs: I was like watching it the whole way thinking. Right. They either kind of both die.

Sidey: I thought they would both die. I thought they would probably both get shot away and hit each other. And if the whole, that would be the futility of it. Yeah. But it didn't

Reegs: I actually like this ending way more. Yeah, it's really

Dan: Excellent. Yeah, I would

Strong

recommend.

Sidey: Why not? Yeah. It's a strong recommend from me.

Dan: Is that another week gone?

Sidey: That

Dan: Just over like

Sidey: is another week.

Dan: some fabulous debuts and fabulous jewels.

Reegs: laughs, there was some cries weren't there,

Dan: We've had it all. We've had it all. I dunno what's happening next

Sidey: Well, you preemptively tried to stick an extra norm in for this week, so I think we'll go with that. Was it Islands?

Reegs: Islands?

Dan: Yeah, I, I

Reegs: we've already done top five islands, so this week doesn't Right.

Itself, I'm you'll have to

Sidey: what's island [00:35:00] backwards? We could do that.

Dan: A.

Sidey: okay. Right. We'll go as the rest of the nons and we'll do that

Dan: Well, we're halfway there

Sidey: living on a prayer.

Reegs: Mm.

Sidey: All that remains is to say society signing out.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: It's standoff.

Reegs: Live long on podcast.

Dan: Dan's