Pussy is the undeniably obvious and deliberately provocative first word that's perfect to use if you have limited time to engage your reader and you'd like them to get to at the least the end of the first sentence of your description. In this part of the overview there originally was a story that ended up with Cats in the plot of Inception but then I realised there was a South Park episode where they did something with sheep and the plot of that movie so, time completely wasted and desperate for more content, this is what we ended up with. Sorry about that. I have to say though my Catception thing was good, it's a shame you missed out.
I picked CATS (2019). Sidey and I have been playfully jesting about reviewing this since it came out 18 months or so ago, which is coincidentally the films running time. 'It would be funny' we said on many occasions. Well, 3 and a half minutes in the joke was over and the horrific reality of what we'd committed to had become fully apparent. Trust me when I say there is no novelty value to be had in watching the entire movie. You can replicate the viewing experience by leaving the trailer on repeat for 2 hours, you can listen to the absolutely excruciating soundtrack on YouTube and you can reproduce the feeling of watching this movie by attacking a litter of newly born Husky's with a handsaw and a set of clamps.
Gabby's Dollhouse is unfortunately the real victim this week, the dads being too jaded by Cats's relentless awfulness to fully appreciate the value of this multi-media edutainment programme on Netflix. Promoting a strong problem-solving mentality, providing early inroads into STEM and as yet unsullied by crass commercialism, this is a bit of a gem.
We love to hear from our listeners! By which I mean we tolerate it. Try us on twitter @dads_film, on Facebook Bad Dads Film Review or on our website baddadsfilm.com.
Until next time, we remain...
Reegs: Welcome to bad. Dad's film review. Some weeks we watch absolutely appalling movies so that you don't have to. And we also talk about the stupefyingly dull things. Our kids watch too, a couple of housekeeping notes before we start, there will be bad language and spoilers. And if this is the first ever bad dad's film review podcast, you've listened to an apology in advance of the very real threat of this turning into a silly novelty episode where everybody berates rigs, it's Sidey Dan, Peter, Andre, and myself rigs this week.
And I've had more info on society, as you can imagine, it's very hard to get verifiable facts on the man. But I did learn this week. He, the exact rate age, he should be given the year that he was born,
Sidey: That's true.
Reegs: And that your mother and father met each other at least once. And at some point you're gonna enter a levels. Yeah.
Dan: I heard he's a, he's so tall.
He reaches the ground.
Reegs: Yes. Yup. Yep. I did a reverse Google image search using one of your Facebook pictures. And I found a picture of you in the grand canyon with a bunch of other men. You're only wearing bow ties and Speedos, and you're all sitting in canoes. What can you tell us about that
Sidey: A fancy dress
Yeah, of course. Yeah,
Dan: But why, why would the bow tie around the ankles in the, and the Speedos on the head?
Sidey: It just reminds me of a party. I had back. at a house outside chef one of the guys is like, right. I'm off. I'm a bit surprised. Cause his name is party boy. And then about 15 minutes Larry just burst back into the door.
and He just had the, you know, that the cuffs and the
and the post,
Dan: We all know who that is. So that makes it even better. Yeah.
Pete: bring that guy back.
Reegs: So interestingly, my wife seems to maybe have accidentally got us inducted into a sex cult. So
Dan: all of us,
Reegs: now what just, just, just, just us at the moment,
Pete: Oh, this is, this is the, the horse related sex cult. Isn't it?
Reegs: Oh, did we talk about this last time
Sidey: Oh, fair. We did
Reegs: oh, right. Okay.
Sidey: It's it's definitely a cult.
Reegs: Yeah, yeah.
Matters are progressing as
Sidey: already. Why WhatsApp? What's the update
Reegs: we've been down there two or three different times and there's a few different people. There's a lot of politics around the hall.
Dan: Do you have to wait the horses? Is this it
Reegs: at the moment? We just stand around and touch it occasionally. Yeah. And,
Sidey: Is it worth it
Reegs: eldest has been as written on it.
Well, I mean, it's, it's really pretty up there. It's lovely.
Sidey: And they talk about like the rapture and stuff like that.
Reegs: Yeah no, I'm waiting for the catch because at the moment everybody's just like really political about the fucking horse. But I still don't really understand how anything works, but yeah, it's
Sidey: what's the oldest age of anyone there.
Reegs: Oh, well, the woman who runs it, her name is she must be in her sixties or everything.
Sidey: Is there anyone overseas? They there's like Midsummer, isn't it?
Reegs: could be, I the, the guy, her husband or partner or whatever is going on there, he he'd expect crazy. But yeah, it's, it's only a matter of time before I'm burned in a giant Wicker fellas.
Dan: Be interested in listening back to this section. If people think this is all about horse cock, because I think it could be easily mistaken for that. You don't have to listen back.
Pete: the horse badge.
Sidey: Oh, no. Related
It is Superman day coming up.
Is that a bad thing?
Dan: Saturday. Okay.
Dan: how special are we that this little nine by five Eileen can say, yeah, we got Superman.
Reegs: I know
Dan: got fucking everything.
Reegs: It's fucking mental,
Reegs: Yeah. It is
Dan: Is he still going to be doing the new Superman? Do you
Sidey: it's all up in the air at the
moment because they're not doing the
Zack Snyder stuff.
They may recast.
Dan: Why are they not doing that? Do you know, have you been privy to those conversations?
Sidey: They'd had
I don't know that he necessarily, oh, I
Dan: should, we should get Jackson I'd won here.
Reegs: Yeah, we should. Yeah. Yeah.
don't like him, So, no anyone been watching anything good
this week? Rakes.
Reegs: No, I can say quite categorically. I haven't watched anything good this week. Apart from strictly ballroom.
Dan: Yeah. I w I watched strictly ballroom. I also watched all of the series of tinker tailor, soldier, spy, and smileys people, Alec Guinness, all done by John Le Carre.
And I could watch it all again. Now it's just. So many layers, so many different kind of subplots and stories going through I've, I've read the books as well. So it gives you all that kind of background. You kind of know what's going on, but on the strength that I watched, then a couple of award ceremonies on YouTube with Alec Guinness, just getting her an award, like, you know, just to see how the old school collected award and what's him and Lawrence, Olivia now Lawrence, Olivia gets a prize.
I think it's an academy award and an honorary and an academy award, same as Alec Guinness subpoena listened to his acceptance speech. If ever you get something, just listen to that acceptance speech and you will take something from it because it's just but you have John Voight there at the end as the camera pans to him.
And he's just like shaking his head, blown away. He's shaking his arms in the air and everything probably, but. You would have been after listening to this acceptance speech? Fantastic. Really, really good. So I really enjoyed that this week,
Sidey: Have you seen the one where John Cleese wins the BAFTA? I think it's for fish called Wanda and he's presented, with the
he gets out
this little tiny piece of paper.
It's like two stamps, like glued together.
And he said, just want to
say a few. Thank you. It's not going to
end. it just goes on for about five minutes and this names are really obscure things.
It's so funny.
Pete: It was a really good one where spike, Milligan received a a lifetime achievement awards. Um Yeah. Yeah. He lays into prince Charles being a groveling Buster. Um It's really good. I've been watching amongst the stuff that I had to watch for this I've been catching up on the latest series of SAS who dares wins.
She's a bit of a hit in our
Reegs: wait, that's not a Ross Kemp one, isn't it?
no, no. This, this is the, it's like a reality show where people, all of whom seem to have had horrific things happen to them. Sorry.
Which is not really hope, but it and Middleton is the
Sidey: I was gonna say, is it hit? Didn't it get done for a load of,
Pete: I think. Yeah. I think, I think now this, this is the, the series that after which they sort of canceled the contract because there was, you know, it was supposed to be like too full on.
And so, but I mean, it's SAS fucking
Sidey: no, he did
So he tweeted something or he outed himself as a fucking maniac.
Pete: Yeah, he is. He seems like an enormous balance, but he's got a little bit more charisma that, I mean, a lot of these guys, like horrific stuff has happened to these guys. So
he's the short one.
With a chip on his
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
are like trained killers. They put on front of television after a war
Pete: Yeah. Yeah. All of these guys have seen serious.
Dan: they want people to act completely normal all the way through
Pete: Yeah. So, so it's just a reality TV show where like ordinary people sort of apply to go on it.
All of the people that go on it tends to have had something hideous happens to them as was some horrible stories. And then they, they kind of, well, they try and put themselves through SAS training. Cause you gotta be strong of body and of mind to get through it. But yeah, there was, yeah, you get some,
Reegs: sorts of tragic backstories. So
Pete: oh, there was one, there was a guy who he rung home.
He was away on business and he rung home and whilst he was on the phone to his wife, someone broke into their house to that. So his wife's house. Killed his wife and child was, and he listened to the whole thing.
Reegs: is the plot of law abiding citizen. Wasn't it. But
Pete: something, yeah. And millions of horrible.
There was a guy in the, in the most recent one who he,
Dan: perfect alibi.
Pete: yeah, he he was on there basically. He he'd gone off the rails because his girlfriend had died on the electric scooter that he bought her.
Reegs: It serves him right. To be honest, the fucking
Pete: but yeah, th there was one and not part of this program, but I remembered bizarrely.
There was one of the guys from a can't remember Harry styles, what band was in.
Reegs: one direction.
Pete: one, the, she was one of the guys from one direction and like, he, he goes out with Anne Middleton and does like, sort of like survival out in the wilderness. And they're telling stories about how. The one direction guys are saying like how tough and lonely it is in that kind of sphere.
And then that Middleton says like, yeah, mine's me at the time I had to like go up onto a roof and collector, like my best mates, body parts to, to like take home for his slight wife to identify and stuff. It
Dan: listening to one direction of music reminded him of that.
Reegs: yeah. I can relate
Pete: it, is, I imagine it's sort of there's elements of it that are contrived, but it's fairly it's, it's entertaining viewing and, and harrowing at the same time.
Sidey: I watched let me remember,
Oh, the trial of the Chicago seven, is that what it's called?
The Netflix one. It's an Aaron Sorkin one.
It's really good. I Really enjoyed that. And I have completed, I think I mentioned it last week, but I blitzed through it in no time. This week Ragnar rock, which is a Norwegian, I think.
It's like the story of for this, This kid is is the chosen ones who become Thor and lead this battle against the giants.
But it doesn't really go into the huge battles. It's setting it up, but I think it's also quite low budget, so they
tend to make it more about the, the actual human side of it and the interactions and stuff like that. And it's all really
good. And also I
really fancy it. a couple of the people in it
Dan: You mentioned that last time I'm going to check it out.
I think I'll check
Sidey: The mum. I can't remember the,
Dan: up on my
Sidey: yeah, it's really good to make sure you've got the words on because the first season I forgot to change it. and watched it and it was white.
Reegs: And we had to look for a bit of Norwegian cinema didn't we? And we didn't really know where to start. So maybe if you're listening and you wanted to let
Sidey: no way.
If you're listening,
Reegs: Let us know where we should, like the only Norwegian movie I can think. I think I've seen that I know is definitely made by all Norwegian people is troll hunter and that is really good as well.
Sidey: Not seeing
Reegs: kind of Cloverfield, but if they were out in the middle of nowhere
Dan: one of your horror is, is
Reegs: Yeah. Sort of it's good.
Dan: a horror.
Reegs: It's clever.
Dan: Yeah. It's too scary for me already. So what was it this week? It was a top five.
Sidey: Yeah. We got a top five. We had a top five last week. That
Reegs: that's called dinero movies.
Sidey: Oh wait. yeah. And thankfully
We were, yeah. Our blushes are spared because Good. fellows Was nominated a whole bunch of times.
Reegs: Yeah. We did also have Mav on Twitter nominated home alone to uh lost the New York where Kevin meets the taxi driver. It's scary out there. There's a bit of a parody moment. So thank you listener for cramming, the home alone
Sidey: I already called that in last week. Myself. Someone else nominated The intern. that you mentioned Dan. So
Dan: honestly. Yeah. It's a nice film to watch that enjoyed it, but it's no good fellows. And that would probably be the one that makes our
Sidey: that's it? Yeah. But this week, it's all about our furry friends, rigs What'd you it subject, just to
Reegs: top five cats
Sidey: Cool. Do you want to start the furball rolling? as it were?
Reegs: Yeah. There is no big intro is such because, you know, I just wanted to, I thought it would be funny.
God, I was so wrong, but I thought it would be funny to make the whole thing cats. Anyway, there is one thing though. There is a particular Yow. Cat noise that you hear in movies. That's just a bit less famous than, you know, the Ville helm screen. Ah, the sort of, you know, that sound effects that you hear all the time.
They use a Quentin Tarantino uses it and all that. So this is like another sound effect it's really famous. If you're interested, it's in a disc to track 26 from the Hollywood edges premiere edition, one released in 1990 labeled cats to angry yells during catfight close perspective or angry cat yells slash catfight.
It's been used in amongst other movies, the king of comedy aliens, the fly, a Muppet treasure island bore out Kung Fu hustle, Monte Python, the holy grail and Michael Moore documentary capitalism, a love story. So uh
oh, I desperately wanted to, when I was going to sort it all out, but then I ran out of time to do this sort of thing.
I thought you might do an impression.
Sidey: we were talking off air. because it was in
I think that we might've
even mentioned that public cats
only Meow people.
Pete: that's right. We have mentioned this before on this podcast. Yeah. That is the way
Dan: We found that out in big boss, baby. Didn't
Pete: Yeah, it was, it was, it was in that episode because yeah. Yeah. So yeah. Cat's only Meow. Yeah.
Reegs: talking to
Pete: That's exactly right. Yeah. And
Dan: Mixing the sound of babies just to get that tone. Cause I've got a cat that really
Sidey: fucking loud, your cat
Dan: it's lost its voice.
I can't believe it. It's like all my prayers have been answered. It's absolutely fine. We get on fine when it's not meowing like an absolute. Massive
Reegs: or you're borderline abusive to you. Okay.
Dan: I'm not a
Sidey: all about the conservation, but just not have your own
Well, he rips apart all the beds. It comes into garden
Reegs: Well, that's good.
Dan: So no,
Pete: rats as well. It gets rid of those.
Sidey: So was that a nomination? of, So it was just to kind of,
Reegs: well, it was just talking about a really, what would be good is to go there's the sound effect, but I know you'd have to do all that.
It's easy to find. I could email you the to this, the sound that particular sound effect of a cat or a cat screeching. Yeah,
Sidey: And here it is.
Pete: Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember it now. Yeah.
been used in all sorts of movies. I just thought it'd be an interesting bit of trivia to start off
Reegs: would like to go,
that that's what we do. every week.
sound like he does.
I've I've got a guilty pleasure for you. Like spying on your sister in the shower. It's the uh 2008 animated movie bolt with John Travolta. He plays he plays a dog, but the cap was played by . What was her name? Susie Hessman, who was Jess Garland's wife. Jeff Garlin his wife and curb your enthusiasm.
And it's a pretty good movie. And it's also a movie that I think it was like the first feature film that my youngest, my eldest ever kind of watched. And it was nice to kind of sit down when she wasn't fidgeting, like twice and just watch a thing that was like an hour and a half long together. So, yeah.
Dan: Well yeah, how'd you follow that? You follow with Garfield because that is equally a terrible, terrible film as a huge bill Murray fan. Yeah. I watched this and and I was scarred like the rest of us for after doing it. It's a terrible animation. It's not very
Sidey: it's the worst the worst cat based movie.
Reegs: No I think he probably isn't
Dan: there's an orange lasagna, loving cat voice by bill Murray. And in zombie land, of course he, he tells us all how much he regrets that decision. As a zombie
Sidey: I really, really liked golf And
I was a kid, I had
loads of books on it.
or the comments, all that
Dan: I love the comics and we still got them, but we do not have this film because it's art or Wang, but it does have a,
Pete: So bill Murray does the voice of Garfield. Okay. That's interesting because the guy who did the voice of Garfield in the cartoon does the voice of bill Murray's character in the Ghostbusters cartoon.
So huge amounts of synergy there.
Sidey: degrees of Garfield.
Reegs: How do you just know that about
Pete: you know how I know that is because my, my five-year-old has been watching the, the Ghostbusters cartoon, the original one, and I wondered whose voice it was.
Cause I wondered whether it was like anything to do with the original Ghostbusters cast and it wasn't. And I found out that the guy who did the voice was the Garfield guy
and yeah. But I didn't know, I avoided the Garfield film because it looked like it would be bollix. Yeah. Just so I'm gonna go with Mike Tyson's tiger in the hangover plays a pretty.
Prominent kind of plot device and yeah. Like shock factor. And obviously it's been sort of seen a load of times now, but it, it had a great kind of impact in the waking up the next day and what the fuck's happened and they do that, so, so well,
Dan: I, I went into this film, not knowing anything
Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely the same.
Dan: a great way to meet a lot of these actors for the first time. I mean, I though I'd recognize Bradley Cooper from, oh, he did
Sidey: Hey, but he was only coming up at this point
I'd seen him in
wedding crashes, I think, and maybe something else,
but it wasn't the
star that is now.
that sort of came out of this and never
obviously an ed Helms, Zach Galifianakis was brand new to me. Heather Graham, obviously bit one out,
Dan: Yeah Yeah that, that was just
Sidey: that, was, that was the cherry on the Iceland.
Dan: of you know, the, the film where you just kind of wedge her into Austin Powers and it all
Dan: hot and everything, but yeah, waking up with any kind of hangover is terrible. Isn't it? Peter, what'd you get up to when you wake up with a hangover?
Pete: I usually try and go back to sleep. But sometimes I
Reegs: you go back to
need to relax and unwind.
Dan: how'd you do that? How you, how what's the best way for you? Meditation, meditation,
Pete: lots of self
Reegs: four times, four times in one day, meditate, meditate four times in a single day or there wasn't it
Sidey: Hang over. That's a good one. Let's go for a train spotting.
Dan: Oh that
Sidey: Tommy, Tommy's
Dan: told me
Sidey: Tommy's clean living and it makes a second state with Lizzie. His girlfriend but that goes missing and there's this spiral of their relationship ending.
Dan: is so horrible. What a twist? Urban Welsh. How could you do that?
Sidey: Tommy Turning
to Heroin and eventually contracts aids. He tries to woo Lizzie back by giving her a kitten, but she refuses to take it.
see it in his sort of drug
then isn't it live?
Dan: kitten living in a Scag Dan shit in every way.
Sidey: He actually dies
of toxoplasmosis from the cat feces.
Dan: Which is, just, I dunno. I mean, it's it's obviously a tragic end to Tommy, but What, what a character, Tommy and all those in train spot. And because Tommy was one of those, obviously he was never into it. It was the sport. He one, he was the one looking good.
He used to hang around where it was a good guy. You used to hang around with this guy gates because they went to school together.
And eventually because of a breakup with,
Sidey: well, they all make it. and he's the
who dies. But
Dan: he's the, one, the
Sidey: at the, at the funeral. Someone does tell Renton, that the cat is okay, the cat does survive.
Reegs: Pet cemetery spelled S E M a T a R Y Cause a kid scrolled it on a sign. Actually. I think that's what it is. It sees the happily married. Dr. Lewis creed and his family and cat moved to a new town in a house, right alongside a trucking route. The fun starts. It's a Stephen King one.
You've seen this
Pete: heard about it, but avoided it.
Dan: read the book, but I've not seen the film.
Reegs: It's pretty good. Isn't it? Yeah. There's two versions of the film. There's there's one in the sort of early nineties with a bunch of people. You 89, in fact, Dale Midkiff, Denise Crosby. Remember her Tasha Yar from
Sidey: she got the boat from star Trek
me, She was in the red shoes, diaries, like really shitty soft porn films. So they killed her off.
Reegs: Yeah. I thought it was like this really? I was thinking about that today. It was like this really dramatic moment. You're like, oh my God, anyone can die
Sidey: Yes. Normally it's normally one of the extras that dies but they actually killed off a main character.
Reegs: it's got Fred months, the guy who played Fred Munster is the Sage old guy who warns them not to desecrate the cultural icon that they come across later. So basically, anyway, the fun starts when church, the cat is mowed down on the trucking route and then buried in the ancient Indian burial ground.
It's in the forest behind their home and he comes back the next day, but he's really moody and he stinks of shit and his eyes glow. And then in my opinion, the cat thing should have been a really big warning for them to heed because soon the youngest kid gage has been moaned down and they've done the same to him.
And now the little shit is murderous and back in the sort of demonic zombie. So. It's great because it plays so highly into parental fears and freaks you out. But the content is okay. I think quite a racist portrayal of cats in general. And I think there is a racist portrayal of cats in movies. It's hard to find a real positive
Pete: Yeah. Yeah. They tend to be portrayed as dicks.
Sidey: we should've done. We should've done. a thing before we started you a cat person,
Reegs: more than a dog person? Yeah,
Sidey: yeah, Dad
Dan: no massively, no.
Sidey: are. you've been to, you've been to cat shows. You've shown cats. Haven't you?
Pete: I have indeed had a a showcase. Yeah.
Reegs: Why is this?
You should've done the fucking intro.
This would have been amazing.
Pete: yeah, yeah, yeah. Jasper or pretty Jasper to give him his full name. Yeah, it was an to give him a show name was pretty Jasper. Yeah.
Dan: as you get to the final,
Pete: He won some rosettes, so yeah.
Sidey: Didn't you win like a year's cat food supply or something?
Pete: No, that that's, that's an urban myth. I got a six month cheese subscription, but not from the cat show.
Reegs: And what was the cat like?
Pete: still he's still going. He lives, he lives with my mum now because I basically, when I had kids like totally neglected him. So I just gave him to my mum instead.
Reegs: So you, you were in big into cat grooming and stuff?
Pete: No, not really. Not really. I was kind of, so basically I bought, I bought this cat sort of a decade or so ago and I was kind of
Dan: Was you
No, I wasn't. No. I was railroaded into, I think like, basically like the, the breeder said,
no, it wasn't. No, no, no, no.
Dan: Is this all a tall tale?
Pete: Oh God.
So yeah. Do we need to, we need to leave at this point. Do we need to dwell on this at
Reegs: well, I feel
Pete: doing a catch.
Reegs: I feel fascinated by this, to be honest. And it's relevant to the episode.
Pete: yeah. So yeah, I, I have shown a cat at a cat show Nevermore.
No, never any more.
Sidey: Well, never say
Pete: And he's, he's all kind of like older mangy now and
Sidey: Aren't we all?
Pete: got a really horrible memory.
Reegs: do you have to like walk? Do they have like, do you have to walk again?
Pete: No, he just basically sat
Dan: you have a lead.
Pete: Yeah. He had a little assault cost again,
Dan: Do you have a need
Sidey: I'm picturing anchorman, you know
where they do the cat fashion show?
Pete: Yeah. No, it's not like
Dan: didn't put him in a jacket.
Pete: No, no, Don't be sure it was more like a robe.
Dan: Did you use product in his hair?
Pete: I think there was some like cat, I don't know what's called him fluffers. Whoever they're kind of making the cats look, look their best.
Yeah. It's this is this is a film podcast crew. Let's move back on to that content.
Sidey: nomination is it that to me.
Pete: No, we
Reegs: not mine. I did pet Sematary denies. So yours.
Dan: Okay. Let me have a look. I've, I've got a few well it's Meow or never.
Reegs: I knew the puns were
Dan: there we go. Blow fields, cat, Russia. Love.
Sidey: named was it, it was never named, I looked it up
Dan: well, but you need a white cat. If you ever wanna like hatch evil plots, then you need just to be stroking out.
It's similar to the chair. You you're in their
Sidey: Yeah. If it needs A good wingback chair. with a,
Dan: good wingback
Sidey: it's a strange one, isn't it?
Because You think,
you know, man,
with cat, isn't very sinister, but it really works in
Dan: Yeah The way he stroked him though, it was, it was very
Sidey: there's, there's a,
Dan: Wasn't it.
Sidey: there's a couple where it tries to get away. You can
see it and
it's fucking flooring. Em, and he's like,
Dan: no that's it.
Each kind of stroke is keeping, forcing him down and it's he made appearance actually in a, in a few different, yeah. Lapse,
Reegs: the same cab
Dan: the same cat. Yeah. And I think it was Donald Pleasants, Charles. Great telly Savalas
Dan: max Von Schneider in subsequent bond films is the same cat.
Pete: for all of
Dan: All of them, actually, he, he died.
He telly Savalas actually killed the cat through stroke. No, he did. They've stuffed. They've stuffed it. They stroked that cat to death. They, they stroke the cat to death. I don't know if there was the fluffing involved the same as what you were talking about and you catch show. I don't know. But then for max fun, Snyder in subsequent bond films.
It was actually a plastic cap, but with the real hair
Pete: With the real hair
Dan: With the real hair, from that cat, from
Pete: cough, I'm not having any of that.
Dan: was a it was a white Angora cat. the Yeah.
Reegs: can't believe it didn't have a name,
Sidey: They never named it.
Reegs: that's, really baffling.
Pete: Well, I mean, that, that gave birth to a load of, of flight parodies of like those types of characters and so on. And one of those was Mr.
Bagels worth Dr. Evil's cat from the Austin Powers films. I D I just, actually, I should have looked out he's bald, which is
Reegs: Many, many means got one as well. Isn't he?
Pete: Yeah, Yeah, yeah,
Dan: one of those molds, you know, the, the kind of hairless Mose, it just looked like that. When a cat's got no hair, it looks
they don't quite look like a cat anymore.
Do they? I, they, they, they do have something cute about them, but they're almost skeletal
Sidey: It's called The is a Sphinx.
Dan: why? Okay.
Reegs: would you touch a Spanx cat? Well, I,
Sidey: Yeah, we touched it, but I, wouldn't, I wouldn't have it as a pet. I just think it's ugly looking.
Reegs: grim. Fuck you. Spring
Sidey: Yeah, you can fuck Right? off. A cat makes a very brief appearance in the matrix,
Neo Neo spots, a cat in a doorway as he's walking up some stairs and then he looks around and sees it again and he says, oh, deja VU
Dan: then like new, new feet,
Sidey: And I think it's Trinity. And
it might just be Trinity says that they say,
w what did you say? This is how I Just. saw a cat, you know,
came back twice. And I explained that that means there's a glitch in the
Pete: I've just entered
Sidey: it's an important, but also on named
Pete: although it's really irritated because
Reegs: that isn't deja VU. It was still fucking cool though.
Dan: I love that. Yeah. I loved that. It suddenly made deja VU make sense to me, even though there was nothing or whatever, I was like, maybe that is it. You know, it was just such
Reegs: so regularly get even VU.
Just like smothering your balls and tainting peanut butter and letting the next door's dog go to town on you. It's another guilty pleasure with cats and dogs. So anyone seen that movie? secret war has been raging for the entirety of human history, between the two species evil cats using a mouse army to take over the world while the dogs are secret agents set on saving it.
Again, in characterization, I find a bit racist for cats. Half decent kitty fare can't recall any of the actors that are in it, but it's one of those sort of you know, kitty things. This is cats, man. Fuck it. This is hard.
Dan: Well, I I've, I've got another few actually. One was babe, the cat in babe. You remember that? Yeah, it was, it was a boss, a pig. He's one of those hairless cats.
Pete: You'd know your animals,
Dan: It was, it was one of those hairless cats. No, it's a Persian cat, this one and it's called Duchess and sh
Dan: yeah. And
he really wolves the roost and puts babe in, in his place whenever you can not allowed in the house and also gives, delivers the heartbreaking news that.
Some humans like to eat his kind. which obviously when you'd look a little, babe, you couldn't do it, but
Reegs: It's such a good movie though, babe.
Sidey: I've never
seen Bape to pig in the city.
Reegs: I don't know if that was also George Miller, because that's a good part of what makes Spain really good.
Sidey: mad max.
was, it was a huge film at a time.
Like again, just
Dan: a worldwide hit a tear jerker. And who saw that coming?
Reegs: that'll do pig. That'll do cat. That'll do
Pete: so I've got another tiger. And this is Richard Parker from life of PI. Yeah, yeah. Yes. Also the vice-president of someone's football club, but He's called, but it was something to do with like some documents got,
Muddled up sorry,
Sidey: this, oh, I haven't seen, it,
Dan: Yan man Mattel, the book, they also visit Yan
Pete: sure But I'd read the book and then I've watched the film. I enjoyed the film. Yeah.
Reegs: I, God, I probably get savaged for this. I really enjoyed the film almost as much as I enjoyed the book, I would
really enjoyed both of them. And so he's got this relationship with this tiger where like at the beginning he kind of gets introduced to the target by his dad.
I think it is. And then he sort of. Learns to, to fair and respect him because he's like obviously a very large dangerous of issues animal. And then the, the story is, is that the family are on a boat with, with their animals and they get effectively like shipwrecks and, and like so sorry, PI ends up on, on like her life raft with the, with the tiger.
And they have to kind of like, almost like collaborate to survive and sort of, they learn to like respect each other and have their distance from each other.
Reegs: Is there a horse
Pete: animals on the boat. Yeah. They kind of like all have to,
Dan: There's an Orangutang, there's
Dan: there's a ton of it. This actually was supposedly like, based on a, on a true story, right.
Reegs: Well, within the movie.
Dan: within the book as well within, you know, so he, he'd gone looking and I'm not sure I've got the author, correct. I think it is this young man tell, but he went to India, to the cherry and, you know, people come up to write his all the time after you say, oh, I've got So he'd listened to this story about how this zoo in India had needed to relocate. it'd been this family they've gone onto the boat. It had a shipwreck. And and they had to recount the story to the insurance. I mean, anybody who has seen the film whenever, so I won't spoil it right now. We'll do that another time. But it
Pete: But I think th th the sort of the scene in particular, when they, when that sort of, that the fuck they remain seated and they've been sort of nearly starving to death, and then they eventually come across an island and they they've had this sort of like relationship and this mutual respect.
And they've been working together for such a long time. And then the target just hops off the boat and fucks off. And it absolutely breaks PI he's, he's devastated. Yeah. He's absent because he was even says he was, he's waiting for him to look back and he does it doesn't even look back and fucks up.
Cause he's a wild animal, but it's quite a poignant moment.
Reegs: And then after that you get a terrific sequence with butterflies after that as good movie.
There's another cat that we would all have seen many, many times. It's Leo, the MGM lion.
Reegs: Oh, cracking
Sidey: who roars at the start of every MGM movie. But more domestic animal wise ghost. We all love a bit of Patrick
He unfortunately dies. And his
widow is in danger.
The killer actually breaks into her apartment and Swayze realizes that he.
the cat can still sense him. So he screams at the cat who then jumps out the killer, scaring him off and saving the day. So it's a, it's a heroic cat
Reegs: It's a non-racist Kat
Sidey: Yeah It's a good cat.
Reegs: Team America, world police.
Do you remember? They get managed by they're going to get mauled by Panthers and then they just get thrown a bunch, a couple of light black kittens, this fucking, yeah.
Pete: Yeah, that's amazing. There's like, they've obviously put like cat food inside the dolls and they're like tearing.
I think it's like Samuel L. Jackson and someone else apart.
Reegs: shrieking and yeah. Yeah. Lots of silliness. Sigourney Weaver is rightly said that she's the sole survivor of the alien franchise, but somebody nearly ran a close and that was Jones. The cat. He's in a, he's a he's on the knee. Dromo
Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.
Reegs: And he's there to catch mice and rats and keep the place clean.
And he also finds Xenomorphs morphs as well.
Sidey: Hey supervisor, doesn't it. cause he goes
Reegs: Yeah, but isn't he, I mean, he probably perished with everybody in alien three, I would think.
Sidey: But yeah, but he was asleep for 57 years in hyper sleep, which
of the oh, just cats in cinema history.
Reegs: if you've got an older cat than that?
Sidey: After Binks. I don't know
who being says, but banks had been around since the 17th century.
Well in a movie, maybe
it was the mummy or
something like that. I don't know. I can't remember.
Dan: Are you feeling okay?
Dan: than me? I'm going to go back here or the Panther,
Sidey: sex Panther,
Dan: of course. Yeah. Sex Panther. He's the man Cubs guardian, the voice of reason. Of course he doesn't listen to that and you know, he wants to bare necessities and
Sidey: blue You could
Dan: did it, they did a remake of this.
I ran about 2016, 17,
Sidey: John Fabro film, which I have a blog about him, a few.
Dan: I really big fan of John Fabro. And he bought pygmy hogs into the jungle book and he played the pick me
Dan: John Favero. And there's actually a very rare toy, I think, or something. Cause you obviously got the bigger
animals, but the stalls, but yeah. Thanks for that, John
Sidey: Well You probably Chuck Chuck show con. Yeah,
Reegs: you should. You could. Yeah.
Pete: yeah, yeah.
Reegs: he see the remake? Did he see the sort of Jon Favreau live action?
Dan: Yeah, I did.
Sidey: I don't really add to it.
Reegs: I went to the cinema. I like
Dan: Yeah. Yeah. On the, on the cinema again, it was one of those films. Glad I went to see it really enjoyed all the things. Look washing back to say it again. Um
Pete: The original.
Sidey: Yeah, exactly.
Pete: I've got I've got sassy the Himalayan cat, which is my absolute favorite breed of cat from the film home wood bound the homebound the incredible journey, the 1993 film. Yeah. That was actually a remake of a film called the incredible journey from, I think, in the sixties or whatever. But
Dan: don't remember
Pete: yeah, but it was a, yeah, just remember as a kids, I'm sort of watching the film.
Dan: five when this came out
Pete: No but yeah sassy, lovely, absolutely stunning Katz Himalayans yeah, expensive. So couldn't afford ones put in a show,
Reegs: I've seen that movie a few times home were bound. There was a sequel as well.
Pete: yeah. More like
Reegs: it's more a dog thing. Really? Isn't it.
Pete: there's two cats, sorry, two dogs and the cats.
Reegs: But they are mates at least.
Dan: Yeah, they are.
Pete: Yeah, they are. Yeah.
Sidey: my neighbor Totoro. has the the cat boss,
Dan: the cat boss had to fuck it.
They thought this
Sidey: is fucking trippy.
and weird and amazing
it's just so fucking bizarre
Dan: bus. Have you seen this movie? It's a cat that has been hollowed out a bus has been made into his body.
Reegs: Yeah. I mean, when you describe it to people, it just sounds like you've lost your mind. Doesn't
Sidey: it? also has rats with pink eyes, which are it's lights.
fucking weird, but
Dan: Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a, it is an absolute, it's brilliant to watch with the kids or, you know, it is kid drugs, really. You know what I mean? It's like they on LSD or something, they just twist it out, all these kinds of weird characters in everything. And
Sidey: have you seen any of these Shipley studio,
Shipley films like spirited away.
Reegs: We should do one
Dan: brilliant with the kids. Really, really great
Reegs: We should do one. Cat people is a 1982 erotic thriller from frequent Scorsese collaborator. Paul Schrader. Yeah. Yeah. Natasha Kinsky you see this with Malcolm McDowell? It's got this opening with this sort of timeless nomadic people in robes offering women to some sort of
Dan: basically the porn that you could get to when you were about 10 or 11,
Reegs: Yeah. It's stylish and weird. And it's got a scene with a caged man who sometimes turns into a leopard and eats prostitutes.
Dan: What was that whole one material?
Reegs: so that was a good one.
Dan: Well, I'm pretty much out, but one of my favorite films has a cat.
The third man Harry lime and basically Ari limes CA only likes Harry
Sidey: It's another plot device
Dan: Yeah, it is.
Sidey: Joseph. Cotton goes to
say she, I should know her name.
is the lady that is called. Yeah,
Sidey: Anna. she says, no, that cat only likes Harry lime. So when he was hiding in the shadows and the cat goes up to him, to give him away, it's like, you know, it's
the cat revealed. he's still alive.
Cause he's supposed to be dead.
Dan: And, and basically Carol Reed, the director just smeared people, shoes, we have salmon oil and things to make the cats just hang around the feet and everything, and be really affectionate on on certain
Reegs: I wouldn't like
Dan: they needed to.
a good film.
Dan: Yeah, it's amazing.
Pete: Talking to good films the Harry Potter franchise Mrs. Norris filters, cat. New features, not that
Reegs: Wait the cat is called
Pete: The cat is called Mrs. Norris. Yeah,
Reegs: a good name for a cat.
Pete: yeah. And that's filters kind of one and only sort of friend in life. The cat itself is anyone know the breed.
It is a Maine Coon. Yeah. And if I've done it, obviously I've seen Maine Coons at cat shows
they are fucking enormous. They are like dog sized cats.
Reegs: all know this cat's thing about peep in four D and did you as well,
Dan: no pizza kept this. I knew another friend of ours Paolo is, was well into
Pete: well, his, his family bred cats.
Yeah. I used to have, like, you go around his house. He'd have like 60 Persians in his house, like in the bread bin. Like
Dan: up everywhere.
Dan: was, it was like watching the Astro cats or whatever that
Pete: Yeah. The Astro cats.
Sidey: Oh, I'm going to rattle through
load. Cause that was still So many
cookies delivery service, the cat is called Gigi. And that's another sheer belief. One It's really cool.
Arista cats is a film that my daughter really likes, but I got to admit it kind of passes me by there's
Dan: that the spaghetti when they, they share the
Pete: No this lady and the tramp, but there are, there are, there are cats in that there's sight. And am the Siamese
Dan: They were like to play jazz those cats. Don't they?
Pete: the Astro cats.
Sidey: Alison Wonderland, we should probably mention the Cheshire
cat. Yeah. And
I don't know
if this, this is maybe a gray area, but the
adventures of Winnie the Pooh each is obviously Tigger
he's not technically a cat.
but It's Tigger take is a wonderful thing.
So we don't know what he is, but he kind of looks like a cat
got loads of other ones. Captain Marvel. Has
Dan: cats in
Kapteyn Marvel Carol Denver's has a
which is actually
a tentacled alien called a flirt kin and eats the Tesseract.
Dan: dear who knew God any more than ever?
Reegs: just a final guilty pleasure for me.
Like when your son or daughter accidentally brushes against your morning word academy where an old woman asks a gun nut tackle, Barry to get a cat out of a tree. So he shoots it. No
Dan: well, I, I can't go through this without saying KaVo from the lion king too, because our cat is called and he was the second cousin from lion king to Simba. And he was actually quite an interesting little character in that. Film where he played a bit of a rascal, but ultimately a nice,
Pete: Is that worth watching lion king too. I've never seen it.
Dan: Have you ever seen lion king three?
Reegs: I think I've seen them all, including a really weird
Pete: two and a half,
Reegs: and a half or two and a half or whatever it is as
Sidey: them watching. Very matter.
Pete: Yeah. Just quickly rattle off some few there's king Leonidas.
He's a lion in bed, NOLs and brooms sexy like presides over the football match, which is amazing. There's also prince John from the animated Robin hood. Who's like a total cowardly bastard in success thumb and says mommy all the time voiced by Peter Euston of Alex, the lion from Madagascar bit of a Dick Figaro from Pinocchio.
He's really cute. There's as land for lion witch and the wardrobe. And there's lots and lots more. And I don't know if this counts or not, but There's there's no cats, but there are a couple of cat burglars in the, in the home alone films. So
Dan: did you did you also look at the cat Jersey from, can you ever forgive me, you know, that which had he go on So just cause we called Jersey. So th th and it was actually another kind of plot device, because it was the cat's illness that you know,
Reegs: swallowed the Tesseract
Dan: to, to kind of swallow, swallow the goal.
I can go to try and con people for their money
Sidey: just quickly gladiator the tigers
in the bowel segments were real they had vets hanging around with, with yeah, With tranquilizers. yeah. And
also the cowardly lion, Cause we all love wizard of Oz, the county line we should
So let's now. Try and whittle it down. Rigs Go
Reegs: Probably the girl with the dragon tattoo, the mutilated cat that they throw on Daniel Craig's doorstep.
Dan: Yes, the third man for me
Pete: Richard Parker for me, life of PI,
Sidey: a tutorial, the cat bus.
Pete: It's actually exactly. We were talking about it being Superman day. Day-to-day it's actually exactly a week since international cheese day as well.
know that because I picked up my latest installment of cheese on international cheese day and the guy. Didn't even know it was international cheese day,
Sidey: the rookie
Dan: weeks to go to the next national Tuesday.
Pete: exactly. But yeah, he provided us this week with some, I think a good spread a recall of Altec ago, but We've had that one before. A really, I think it's been a big hit the latter, which is it's outta langurs, most famous creation. It has an ice creamy texture and the richness of a triple
Dan: That was that soft, soft one that I tried at the end of that did have a kind of ice creamy
thing going on.
Reegs: you recommend it?
Dan: I would, and I'm not normally a soft cheese
Pete: good. There was also quite a sort of strong flavored English farmhouse, Oak smoked cheddar
Dan: That was my favorite
Pete: Yeah. It's a west country farmhouse cheddar made endorse set, and it's, it uses the traditional method of stacking the curds by hand.
So lot of, lot of work gone into that and also through the clue, which is a Burgundian washed rind cheese that smells like a rang Batang deck.
Sidey: It's very pungent. That
But It doesn't taste like
Dan: No, and it didn't smell as bad as that one, a few weeks ago, which we have
Sidey: would that from the same family, aren't they?
Dan: although yeah, you could tell it related,
Pete: from the primate family
Sidey: I Washed
rind cheese will always be
Pete: It's the baby brother of the apostles.
don't know if you know, but I
did a cheese making course. So there you go.
very nicely into this week's
rigs, which you nominated for us, which is a real treat.
What was it?
Reegs: It was cats. Cats, the Broadway show is one of the longest running Broadway musicals based on a Ts Eliot book of poems about cats, which are all about winsy and basically about how cats do whatever they feel like. I personally am not a fan of the Broadway aesthetic at all. And Andrew Lloyd Weber is probably the Michael bay of musical theater.
Sidey: Have you seen this on the stage?
Wow. Okay. did you get accosted by any of their cost
because they go into the crowd.
Reegs: they? do Yeah.
Dan: Is there any, you guys see other Pete sameness?
No. If any of these fuckers had come into the crowd.
Reegs: Wow. I thought I'd enjoyed it, but I was very young.
Sidey: I guess there'd be some, probably quite attractive females.
think I was too young for that to be interesting,
Sidey: Right. Okay.
Reegs: particularly I have to say with this movie, it wasn't a totally foregone conclusion that I was going to hate this movie. The director, Tom Hooper, who started on Byker Grove actually. And we talked about fucking spade face earlier. What was this?
He was your mate. He was on SAS.
Pete: And Middleton what's he got to do with biker group.
Reegs: Was he not in Byker Grove and
Sidey: You're thinking of
Dan: and decks Saturday night,
Sidey: was actually in the SAS was
Pete: Yeah. This guy was actually like, like serve,
Dan: called it. You said he's got a face, like a spade. I mean, he's got a guy that will come and
Reegs: No, no, no. Cause I was talking about the other one. Yeah, that makes a lot more sense now.
Dan: because you looked at me like biker girl. I was going to add to it,
Reegs: Yeah, no. Okay. So he directed Byker Grove and he's made in his career to movies in general. I really despise, so namely a historical drama. He did the king speech and I really enjoyed that movie and the only proper musical I've really ever enjoyed in the Miserables. And then the faint hope that I would have enjoyed this movie was crushed when it just, it opens with six uninterrupted musical numbers.
I suppose we should
say that we all have heard the fanfare around this
movie before we'd
seen it. We knew kind of what to expect in that it was just derived, like universally slated
so many reasons across the board. So there was no way, but I don't, maybe I'm speaking out of turn, but I certainly had heard a lot
I think we'd all,
actually hadn't heard anything, but I took one look at this, I sniffed it and I didn't want to go anywhere near it. And I confess I didn't. I didn't watch this one, boys. No, no, I, I well, yeah, I know just because you lot dead. And I
I really didn't. I really didn't. I tried to watch it.
I did put it on, I watched about 18 hours, but in fact, that that only equated to three and a half minutes or so. And I just physically was angry. I was just really wet and I just couldn't do it. I'm sorry. So I pulled out this, it was quite late. I was quite tired and
Pete: before my messages, who at three minutes, 48, got up off the couch and walked off and said, this is fucking shit. And just left the room
Dan: me, for me to, for me to come just before the message, like, well, get out there. It's totally not like me, but though
Reegs: like it would normally happen to me on this. You call me before the
Dan: yeah, there you go.
Sidey: My message was quite into it. She was excited. She didn't want me to watch this without her. So I had
to we had to share this in. She sort of was disappointed by it, but
wasn't like completely slaying it.
Pete: how was she not horrified
Reegs: Did you watch all of it?
Pete: I feel it's my duty to, for these films to, to, to enjoy all of them
Reegs: sorry I put you through
Pete: all the way through
Reegs: It's a joke that got way out of
Sidey: Yeah. I'm not mad at you because I, it was
on my list to nominate at some point, but you forget
that the film can be
quite long and the
like, so the
first bit is
You know, the, the stray cat, getting tossed into the
rubbish and then it launches straight into a musical number. And I, you know, I'm not going to hate it just
and there's dancing because those aren't things that I necessarily want to watch in a film there's so badly done in this. And it fucking goes on forever and like you say, they just come
at you. Like there's no reason for them.
There's no plot There's
no and they fucking go on. And the first one is dreadful and they say, Gelica what the fuck.
Reegs: I know
Dan: That, that really turned me off. That that was just like, I've, I've been watching this intently. I've fucking turned it on. I put it, I was sat down. I was like, white, this is
Reegs: I had the words on that's how I was trying to respect it.
Cause I wanted to
Pete: I had the words on as well. Gelical cats from the TSL, Leah original staff. So fuck
Reegs: the whole thing they're banging on about gelical cats and who is one, and this is list of people who are one and what the gelical ball and your gelical choice. I didn't know what a fucking gelical
Sidey: they say 68 times, I think in the first musical number.
Dan: I didn't even like the word
Pete: Can we just this address, the fact that the music, like the, all of the songs in this, a fucking bollix and they're just totally made up as they go along. I don't know if the, the intent from, I mean, this is like Lloyd Webber's fault.
Not the films full because the, the, the music is from the stage
Sidey: So they were all new. They were all new, almost all new
for this film. Yeah. And Lloyd Webber pointed the finger at hope dreams, because he said,
and he did this on the Miserables as well, that he wouldn't allow anyone to work
on the film
that had had anything to do with the
Pete: I don't think we should let Lloyd Webber off or TSL it for that matter.
Like all of these guys need to get, to get both barrels. Yeah. Yeah, th the only good song, or the only kind of like, okay, song is, is it Mo memory? Which like Jennifer Hudson just fucking blubs all the way through like w and ruin that entirely as well.
Sidey: It's not my favorite kind of seeing the way she
sings, but she's probably
the highlight, of the film, but can we just talk about how it looks?
Reegs: Well, I thought it's aesthetically, it's got the vibe of one of the torture rooms in soar, I think or, you know, and, and, but also it feels like it might just break into some sort of weird odd year, any moment as well. Because
Sidey: I thought
Sidey: well, I thought rebel Wilson was gonna start fingering herself.
when she split, She spread her legs and
I was like, the fuck is going on? And then she, she, at
one point takes off her own skin. It's like a horror movie.
Dan: It was, I mean, the look of it was just so off-putting, it actually made my skin call the way that they've done this. So I don't know if it's actual suits or CGI or
Reegs: human features, isn't it. And then they've motion
Sidey: look like, you know, the face swap app look like someone has got a cat and done the face swap with a human being on
Dan: moose star, Shawn Henry Cavill four, took it off him
Sidey: Oh, I was going to reference. that. I
was going to
that was the worst VFX died ever seen
completely and utterly
trumped by this.
Dan: Well, this just does it that everywhere.
Pete: When that prep cord and arrives and falls off a chimney and, and it's just terrible, like CGI, it just looks like someone's just fast forwarded, like something.
Yeah. Everything's got this like weightless
Sidey: don't know if it.
Reegs: the dancing as well. Like, because they're all motion captain. You don't really can't quite see where their feet or what the fuck their feet are and what, where they're touching on the ground. And. Yeah, that weightless qualities.
Dan: You mentioned James coordinator actually, I think is, is okay. But then, okay. I think he's really, really good
Pete: because he's a Western fan.
Dan: Well, he is a Western fan, so it instantly makes him solid. Yeah. But he's he's done well. I like him in a few things, but how many actors have Sali deck career with them?
Pete: this? A hundred percent.
Sidey: don't remember there being any sort
or publicity tour for this.
I think everyone tried
Dan: testify They they're just going on.
They're licking their wounds.
Pete: Yeah But Ray
Sidey: been a fucking twat parody for fucking years. I can't bear him.
Dan: Are you so white is
Sidey: No, no. I like the sexy base. Everything after that, it's just
Cockney, fucking odd man. fuck off
caught me Kat and this, but like Judi Dench, like just solely
Sidey: I really felt for her.
like she, she came across as like
a seen old woman that they just waled out. for some
Dan: I'd love I'll tell you what the thing I'd love most out of this is to know the metrics. And to see
Pete: let's, let's not, let's not go there just yet.
I mean, you didn't watch any of this film in the end, so you didn't even see Judi Dench.
Dan: I know I had kind of taken in the best bits and I listened to mark Kermode review on it.
And I started doing research in and around the movie because I just knew that I couldn't actually watch the
Reegs: Oh, I feel bad. Annoyed. I
Reegs: He should. He shouldn't
Dan: Yeah. No know, I know. Yeah. That's what you
Reegs: I know. I apologize.
Dan: and I do apologize. I did intend to watch it. I got a little
Pete: this was the visual equivalent of being waterboarded. Yeah, it was fucking diabolical from, from start to finish GED. Dad. I tell you what it reminded me of, and I know you're not a fan, but like Meryl Streep was a well-respected actress. And then I just sort of caught out of the corner of my, I think my mum was watching it when she's like pissing about in dungarees being all like silly and girly and that horrible Abba, like mama Mia or whatever.
And it was just uncomfortable to watch. And that's how I felt watching like Judy Dench. Like I've never seen it, but,
Sidey: after you got home from a cat show.
Pete: yeah, I mean, I used to like cats until I've watched this film and now I want to drown them.
Sidey: All The cast is incredible.
When you like reel off the list of names in it, Idris Elba, rebel Wilson
Jennifer Hudson. Like Bray, Winston, Judy Dench and McKellen Taylor swift. I fancy quite a lot.
Pete: I didn't even get a hard on when she came on the screen dressed as
Reegs: cow, man.
I, to be fair, this is sexy if you're into cat people, because yeah. This, because like the they've, although it's weird because they've got cat
sort of, but no nipples, but nobody's got any genitals at all.
Reegs: one point Idris Elba like throws off his coat and he's like striding towards the screen and he's smooth, like
Sidey: by Jason ruler said that they they had
to remove his
genitalia somehow. And
there is a, there is a
Asshole cart where the, some of the cats were had digitalized assholes
Reegs: I see. Who wants to see that? Honestly, that
is amazing That's amazing. Amazing.
Pete: Or we, we're not going to do the plot there.
Isn't a plot. Really?
Sidey: but there is Because someone, a cat has to somehow be euthanized
and then ascend into something,
Pete: It's something leveled.
Sidey: Was a higher
Reegs: I mean basically a fucking cat shows up and sings about its personality and then another one shows up and sings about it, but it's reality. And then that just keep that's what they do. Yeah, fucking hell. And then it's got this weirdly sexual vibe to it. And it, the design decisions were crazy. I can't believe they spent so much fucking money on this.
Sidey: but the scale of everything just keeps going off, like the cats, when you first see them are whatever size they are, then the next scene they're completely out of scale to what they just were in another set. And it keeps jumping like that. And it really throws, you There's said about some of the movements when they're dancing, I thought some of them were on wires and I don't know, It just looks so fucking shoddy. What, one of the things that happened apparently was that the trailer was released and it was so fucking pan that they had to make so many wholesale changes. I think they sacked the original VFX from got another one in, but they, That'd taken four months, If they only had a month to do all this before it was recent, They were
Sidey: the night before the night before the premiere, they were still working
this. And this was
Dan: you can just imagine the executives, you've got all the money riding on it and that in offices, heads must have rolled for this one.
I mean you
Sidey: Then it got released again while it
was that shit
Sidey: Well like Judy dentures.
You could see her watching her wedding.
ring on her hands because they hadn't done. They hadn't even done
Reegs: What's the chance the rebel Wilson had two tales at one point as well. Fucking amazing. It's just, you, you don't, it's rare to see a fuck-up of this scale, like out in the world and it is, I mean, this is awful don't if you watch the trailer, that's enough to,
Dan: so are you telling me to watch it for then
Reegs: well, actually it plays into my hands.
Dan, you haven't watched the movie cause I've got a list of the character names that might appear in the cast. You won't know any of these, right? So there's 15 of these. Some of them I may have made up myself. So can we have a jingle for the quiz it's called? Does that cat count?
Reegs: Okay, so
I'm going to name some, you're going to have to try and think which of these so of the 15, how many have I made up?
Pete: Oh, can we make it that if Dan doesn't get above a certain percentage, he has to watch the film.
Reegs: Yes. Will you do that done?
Dan: Wow. That is what's the percentage
Sidey: a hundred.
it's reasonable. It's effectively guessing
Dan: you've just, you've just like, okay. Right. 50, 50 I'll guess.
Reegs: Okay. The rum tum tugger.
Sidey: It's such a banking euphemism,
Reegs: Buster for Jones,
the cum guzzler skunk musket,
Can circle Mungo, Jerry
fudgy, crinkles handsome B clam jammer,
Reegs: griddle bone.
Skim pool shanks.
So that gives you how many trees
Dan: Oh no.
Do I have to
Sidey: true. that was wrong.
for a start.
Reegs: So you got the first two, they were true. Rum, tum tugger and
Dan: they were true.
Reegs: cam goes, yeah, you got that.
Reegs: Come through. It's not true. Skunk musket is not true. You said it was, I remember that syllabub monkey strap. God, I wish if that should have been paying you right.
Dan: I've just about made it
Sidey: I think he probably did actually, to be fair that you survived.
Dan: For that, because this really, honestly, I, I did start to watch, I'll probably watch a bit longer than three minutes, but I don't think it would have been more than, than 10.
It was. It seemed like there was just one musical number throughout this, and I'd already taken a real
the animation or whatever the fuck that was going
Reegs: music is God awful.
I don't know if you like cats,
Pete: bullshit. Funnily enough, I spoke to my mum the other day and said, oh, have you ever seen like cats, like the musical or the film? And she said, she'd never seen it. And she was on a cruise and there was like a sheet. And she didn't even go back after the interval watching the, the, the, the show.
It was that bollix because of the music and everything else about, I mean, I would seen her watch, my parents have sex. Then watch this film in fact, join in rather than watch this film
Dan: Is there anyone that has enjoyed this? Has anybody put down a review or anything that is on any of, any of those kind
Reegs: Have you got positive reviews for this genuine ones? Because I did look for a bit, but it was all people being
Dan: to enjoy this, you know, it's got all their favorite actors singing, their favorite songs,
Sidey: It's also interesting though. Interesting fact about this is that it's set in the same universe as another
film we watched this week.
a milk bar. And then that obviously places
it in the same universe also as
a clockwork orange.
Sidey: I don't understand why so many critics and
audience members hated this movie so much. I don't
typically like musicals, but I actually like this. The dancing and seeing were
great. I love
the two leads, Victoria and monk strap whose faces and dancing were
captivating to watch
Jennifer Hudson singing. made me cry,
You mean you and me? both
it was so well done.
I thought the CGI was actually
pretty cool and
amazing. The only actor
bit. I didn't like was Taylor swift. yeesh. She was bad. It was like she didn't even try to move like a cat.
I Don't know why some review is spam. The, pro made no sense. The, plot was actually very clear. The movie kept me entertained at seven out of 10.
Pete: There's a lot of mental illness in this one,
Sidey: and tell the true
stage performers in this. There is great singing, dancing, and acting by them. There are one or two of the TV slash
film actors that let it down
The costumes look like they have come straight from the theater performance, which I love. If you're expecting movie, then you were disappointed
Sidey: If you're expecting a stage show XL, you won't. I don't know what that means. Eight out of 10.
Sidey: I've got another eight out of 10, but basically there are some looms it's 10 out
Dan: a 10 out of 10. I was about to say these, even these lunatics, aren't giving it 10 out of 10, but we found
Sidey: 10 out of 10, the most well thought out horror movie ever. You'll never, You'll never look at your account the same again.
Sidey: There is a wall in my house.
Reegs: Don't watch. This
Sidey: wall is a simple wall, eight feet tall and 15
It sits in a corner of the basement. It has been painted beige with a few coats to cover up the bumps and scratches
from coats before it has its idiosyncrasies. The
way light jumps off
the paint, stare at it long enough. And it begins to speak
to you or at least allow you to speak to it. Maybe there's
something to the wall, or maybe it's just my romantic
illusions or of inspiration
and contemplation that bring it, bring it
My point is this staring at that blank wall for two hours is far
more inspiring, interesting and enlightening
than watching even two minutes. of this cinematic colonoscopy That is cats. that's kinda, that's kind of where I
was with that
Dan: Disgruntled from Tunbridge Wells.
Sidey: can talk
a little bit about the metrics.
So I do have them done and you want to
I am DB.
This is sitting pretty at 2.8 at 10,
Reegs: even worth a
Sidey: rotten tomatoes.
19 cents Metta cricket, 32% and Google are reliable Googled any 28% for this, which is an all
Reegs: oh, it's amazingness. I can't believe it
Pete: don't actually know the
Dan: How much
Sidey: Watch it for this was
Reegs: Just amazing. How did they convince him? Like they must've had balls of steel going in. Good. We're going to get Idris Elba
Dan: Yeah, exactly. It's it sounds good. It sounds good. But I mean, I can't imagine that
Sidey: I budget at 95. Do you think it was a winner or
Dan: think there is, if this is made over a million, then I would just be
Reegs: hit by COVID.
Sidey: No, I think this is pre pre COVID.
Pete: I'm going to go $10 million.
Reegs: Yeah. It's something like that. Five.
Sidey: It's actually made 74 million. So it's a loser, but not
as bad as you might've thought
Reegs: was there. There must have been a lot of people going like, ironically,
wanted to see how bad it actually
Reegs: I don't even do that. I am sorry I did this to us. So I am sorry. I did this to you, Peter and Sidey you're really let me down
Dan: know, apologizing.
You, you want to apologize to me? Yeah,
Reegs: We've done something here. We've like, it's like the
Dan: but I feel like I've dodged a bullet to be honest,
Sidey: it did win a bunch
of awards though.
Pete: Golden raspberries
Sidey: It cleared up at the Razzies
worst director rebel Wilson and James cordon took home the worst supporting actress and worst boring actor gongs that also won awards for worst
on screen and combo worst, screenplay and
Reegs: And it deserves all of them and yeah,
Pete: halfway through the film, I knew that this was definitely the worst thing I'd ever seen. And it made slam in salmon that like a
Sidey: No, I was just gonna say that slamming salad slamming center is still worse than this because but yeah, because they thought
that they'd made something great. Whereas everyone on
this new is a
fucking stinker. Everyone has distanced themselves
from it. So at least I can respect people for
knowing that it's shit, Whereas those
on slam and salmon actually think they're funny. and they need to die.
Dan: I ex well, okay. That, that that's that's a valid point.
I think well made that the fact that they have distanced themselves from this, because you don't hear anybody saying I was in
Pete: genuinely, if someone put a gun to my head and said, w like, I would watch slamming salmon again, before I watched this,
Dan: Definitely. And you were, you were having a go at me for not watching this. I clearly saw this was the biggest pile of
Pete: I think it's your duty to watch the, so we like, we watch all the bollocks that you nominate
Dan: none have been this bad.
Pete: no nothing has been,
Dan: none have been this bad. This is the worst.
Sidey: I know that this
was set in some sort of post-apocalyptic world where the cats has become
Reegs: clear about whose world it was. Like you say the scale was off because sometimes things seem
be cat sized and sometimes
Pete: getting some real people in a real car, drop off a
Reegs: where you see the car don't you don't see a person.
Pete: Well, R Kelly Bell, I'm assuming. Yeah. The call. So,
Reegs: car could have been a cat.
Pete: and the, and the, the, the, the car, the cat in the bag is
Sidey: what's her name?
Pete: I dunno
Sidey: the actress is a really hot.
Reegs: She was a ballet dancer is
Sidey: black and they white Catheter.
Reegs: Is that really true?
Pete: Well, her career has been utterly crushed by this bullshit of a film. So
Reegs: Don't even watch it ironically, there's just no value to it. And I seriously, the whole fact that Katz has made such a lot of money in general is a Broadway show. And the, I saw it and I thought I liked it cause I was like seven or eight.
Pete: I think maybe that, that, cause it was successful, but not, not like not now. I don't think it's still been like maybe some parts of the world where they're all fucking sick.
Dan: reckon this will end up breaking even
this may do. But I think, I think when it first came out, probably the eighties or something like that, that the, the idea for the musical was, was new and different and a little bit kind of quirky. And so I think it got, it captured an audience then, but now given the, like the, you know, like the scale and the possibilities and everything of, of films and filmmaking, like this was so far
Sidey: I wonder if I wonder if the popularity of the stage
version will take a hit because of
how bad the film is.
Pete: It should
Pete: Yeah it should do because Lloyd Weber and Antia said it deserve light, you know, panning for this as well.
Dan: certainly not rushing to the stage show.
Dan: watched this, you know,
Pete: know, you're not,
Sidey: bad films
out there, The room, but there's funny things in it. And it's still got a bit of charisma,
whereas this There's nothing
to like about this.
It's just it's so shoddy.
It's like, it's insulting to the audience.
Reegs: I promise you. And I'm sure like you did.
And like you did, and whatever happened to you, but I went in completely open-minded about this. I
Sidey: thought it would be funny. I thought the joke
Reegs: my boat, but I wasn't like going straight in looking to hate it
Dan: to be fair. All you three, it already started apologizing calling how shit it was before I'd even had chance to watch it on the, on the on the message. So it didn't tempt me in.
Sidey: I knew it was gonna be bad, but I thought that it would be funny, bad, and the joke would last and it
honestly, it was like 90
seconds then I
Pete: I didn't think it would be this bad.
Like yeah. Not as you say, not even like you couldn't even laugh at it or anything. I did. I did watch the whole thing. It was on the whole time I did the only good thing that came out of it was I started up my football manager game on my phone and I managed to stay at Watford to a ninth place finish, which was, I thought it was pretty a pretty good achievement
Why, you know, it's time.
Reegs: know, I wasn't entertained.
Dan: Yeah, probably would have been by the sounds of it, but no, this wasn't for me. I knew very quickly
Pete: worst thing I've ever seen.
Sidey: Second, worst thing I've ever seen
Are we continuing a feline theme with this children's thing?
Reegs: Yeah. Yes, we certainly are.
We are looking at Netflix is Gabby's doll house, former bad dad, anonymous, meek his ridiculously named offspring introduced my youngest to this Netflix show. It's a sort of mixed media arts and educational entertainment program. And it's hosted by a multiethnic presenter. Gabby. She puts on her cat ear bands grabs her stuffed toy Pandy paws, and is transported into a doll's house for adventures and problem solving and graft activities and baking and storytelling and stuff.
Sidey: Yeah, but I have to say though, that James
cordon was the low point in a zero out of 10,
movie. I just
want to make that really clear
that that motherfucker
was the worst thing. in that fucking awful film.
You were disappointed. We didn't tear into James court. Lisa, do you want to threaten him or like,
Sidey: We'll stop.
for this for, for making this? He probably thinks this is
Dan: He's a white James Courtney's west dam and he sound
Sidey: but this was probably equally as bad.
Sidey: Yeah. This was a disaster.
Pete: Why are you looking at me rigs? Like, do you
Dan: had echoes of Brian's world. To me, just with the.
Pete: you loved, which you went on and on about how good it was, how much money it makes and how it doesn't matter that it was a total like turd of a program and that, because it makes so much money.
So I'm sure Gabby Gabby's stole houses. Now her Malibu beach house, you, as you always refer to,
Reegs: No, I did the research on this particular book. Cause I knew this point was going to come up. The comparisons reviews already said over text about Ryan's world.
Now there are there is comparatively very little in the way of crappy merchandising related to Gabby's doll houses, a few plush pillows and branded clothes are a thing which is something I can live with. There's no plastic shit that Dan likes to exploit.
Sidey: only new.
Reegs: It's not that new. There's two seasons.
Sidey: only 10 episodes.
Pete: was w when was, when was this first
Dan: Okay This just stunk to me as a show that was looking to go straight down the vine world's path
Sidey: It had that feel about it to me as
Dan: want to,
Reegs: It was much less cynical though.
Dan: going. Yeah. Yeah. I
Reegs: less cynical than
Dan: had to be but eight does have echoes of that for me when I watched it straight away, I was still, oh, geez.
As soon as it like flicked from the real world to the animation and things,
Pete: Well, I thought that that gave it like a different dimension to, for example, Brian's world and things of that ilk where yeah.
Dan: well I'm with do that. If he could, he just doesn't have
Dan: boy he's not
Pete: I thought that that like the, the animated part. I didn't actually hate.
I didn't hate it. I certainly didn't like it now.
Dan: He loved it.
Pete: No, I didn't love it. I mean, after the week we've had, so the week we've had, this was, you know, this was, I mean, this was better than cats. Let's like, get that out there. I wasn't necessarily a fan of the initial part of it.
Like her like real like saccharin sweet smile. Her she's got a mustache as well. That was quite off-putting. But when it then flips into like the, the animated, but it wasn't horrendous now. You actually did acquire two fans with this nomination because both of my sons were playing. Normally it works the other way round.
I'll sit them down and try and get them to watch something like the child's thing. And they normally like get up and walk off anything from like one to 30 seconds in, and this, it was the other way round. They weren't, I didn't sit them down and saw, they were like playing, I put this on and both of them came and sat down and watched it.
Admittedly, JJ said with about 10 minutes ago Wednesday's finished Charlie then watched another episode straight afterwards. He really liked this. It was, it was right up his alley.
Sidey: I'm the
complete opposite. to you. I preferred it when it was live action with her
because she just had a cheery disposition.
It was quite good. It's a Dreamworks thing as well. I thought that the animation, when it went to animation the animation was so cheap and nasty, I thought it was really shit which surprised me for, cause we've seen other dreamboat stuff that's available on Netflix and it's always excellent. So that side of it was a real letdown.
And I was surprised about what you're saying about the merge, because I would expect this to be just, you know, bombarding the shelves with fucking crappy plastic shot. especially with those little cute fucking things.
Reegs: It's a lot of plush doll, like cushions of those sorts of things, but the cushions and clothes I can sort of fucking live with, get little girls like that stuff.
It's an endless mountains of plastic
Reegs: what they don't need. Dan, I would like for you to demonstrate that you've definitely watched this F so by talking us through the plot, you know, driving us through the because it would be, you
Dan: wasn't really concentrated enough, but I probably should. I did watch it.
It was on I watched her Nelly who didn't much like it either to be honest. It was, yeah, it was it's maybe a little bit too young, but sometimes even the young stuff she can get into, you know, she can still find something of interest in this. I dunno.
Sidey: Well, the mayor cat had lost its sparkle. Hadn't it
Reegs: lost it, the milk
Sidey: And so they had to do all those inane fucking tasks to get it sparkle back.
Dan: I think for me there was that, that change, as you say, from, from real to animation that, and then when it went back into at the end, obviously she goes out and she outros you in and she does that kind of smile and just, I dunno, it was just something that it was just so plastic and false for me.
And it was so violent. It just really wasn't anything that,
Ryan's vote is out there. It's still one of the the best money makers out there.
Pete: Like McDonald's yeah. Great money.
Dan: like it's a
Sidey: good catch. Catch the name of any of the cast. The actual real humans?
Sidey: Laila, Lockhart Crainer, taco Chandler.
I don't know that person already. Same team Nelson who the fuck. caused their kid saying to
Pete: Were there other people in this, like the voice Heights, right. Okay. Okay.
Sidey: Sciencey Nelson plays, pillow
Pete: Okay. I remember
Reegs: Yeah, there was a few, there was there's Mercat, like you said. Oh, sorry. Did you have a better
Sidey: one I really want to hone in on,
Reegs: There was kitty ferry.
Who's half cat, half fairy. There's cakey cats. Who's half cat, half cake,
Sidey: Are they really thought about
Reegs: Carlita who's half cat, half car, a baby box.
Sidey: Carlito's way.
Reegs: Box head as we call them in our family. They're sort of half cardboard, half cat and the hamster kitties are half hamster, half
Sidey: This is not at all.
Like just Wieden's dollhouse. starring Alyssa
disk here, which would have been a real highlight. Sadly. it's not.
Reegs: No, it was based on a bird,
Sidey: stuff in
Reegs: the little doll house by Jen Lee baker which I read a quote from the book provided by Google docs, which goes as follows, never before has the erotic sensual nature of the tango been captured so perfectly in photographs which is frankly a bit bizarre, but that is genuinely what gum came up when Google was asked.
Now I like this. There's a couple of reasons why I think there's. I like to see the wholesomeness in the, we failed, but we'll try again, problem solving stuff that they do in it. And also it's like my daughter, just my youngest, absolutely adores this and sings all the songs. That's why I made you listen to the soundtrack as well.
This sound, the songs were way better than Katz was basically my man.
Sidey: I was still scarred from cats though. When I watched this after say so
Reegs: no you don't have to love it, but
Sidey: I don't.
but it marked, it's like, she's what they call at the moment. She's what a lot of people would say is like school ready, which means she's just pushing a boundaries,
so she still likes this and it's really sweet and wholesome. She just goes off and like makes her own cat ear bans and potentially has gone off into cat world and what she's doing there, like making stuff for own and, you know, soon she's just not going to, when she goes to school, you know, and she's already going in that way.
And it's like, this is a moment in time. Like perfectly capturing
Dan: makes it all, all the difference when there's this kind of activity going on in your life as well. When you've got, you know, running out, making it, doing everything together, didn't have that. We we're nearly, you know, we were just kind of sat there, like why, when she wanted to watch the Simpsons, like, you know, I'm turning that off to put this on.
Pete: So yes. Okay. Again, like my boys, especially Charlie recite when the, the different colored soaps and stuff like that, he was like, oh, can we do this? Can we do this? It was like, they, yeah, that that's, that's why, like the, there's been some sort of like Ryan's world comparisons, but that ha that has like no soul, no, like purpose.
No, not like this. It's like you said, far less cynical. It actually, you know, it has like craft elements. It's like engaging, not just by our toys, buy this, buy this toy, then buy this. So then buy this toy. It's getting people to do things with the stuff that they've got around the house. It's it's far more wholesome and.
Has, has more of a point
Dan: to be fair, actually, that is, it is a really good point because my daughter went and did, was she got two bottles of stuff and then started mixing them at one
Pete: yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dan: you do get the different colors and things that come in with stuff. So and though she didn't like lap was later on in, in the afternoon or evening.
And maybe that was from that experiment. Yeah. Yeah.
Sidey: I watched Katz the movie, which is
I watched that
on Saturday night.
and then I watched this Sunday
So I was, it was it was,
it was raw. It was still very raw
And when They started
singing on this. I actually fucking screamed at
Oh, fuck you fuck off?
So it was, it was just not good timing. I think. Yeah.
You'd had your fill of cats by then. I mean, I'm a, I'm a sort of self-confessed cat lover and I'm, I'm definitely had enough cats for a while. Now.
Reegs: There weren't any snarky characters or like sarcasm or scariness and it's all really sweetly delivered. And it it's all about problem solving, which I think is really important to teach kids to embrace that.
And a lot of it is about making mistakes and then trying different approaches, which is just brilliant. So yeah, really wholesome stuff. Loved it
Sidey: I think it's fair to say that was a bit of a mixed bag
this week. I am going to nominate for
next week, but before
we get to that, just want to say that the numbers we've been having the last week or two been really good, really strong.
So that's great. So if you are listening, please do continue tell all your friends and subscribe and leave us reviews and all that good stuff. Next week, do you want to know what we're gonna watch
Reegs: please? Below there'd be something good?
Sidey: Well, I don't know because I'm seeing it the mid weaker we're gonna watch dead man's shoes.
That's pretty much just for Pete's benefit
he hasn't seen that one yet. We're going to do a top five, which has movie scenes set on a staircase and then the movie,
movie of the week is dread. D R E w D a. You can catch that on Netflix and the children's entertainment It's chuckle fish
Reegs: Cool vision Wow Is there a particular
Sidey: I'll find one for you to enjoy? So, that'll be good. So yeah, like subscribe, review, come and talk to us on Twitter or come and visit our website, bad dads, film.com where I've recently posted a blog.
Reegs: Yes. And very good at is indeed.
Sidey: Who's up next on the old blogosphere. Dan must be.
Dan: Okay. I'll have a
Sidey: write something about cats. If you'd like. All that remains is to say Saturday signing out.
Dan: Dan's gone.