Enemy at the Gates & Stargate Infinity

Enemy at the Gate

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, where our opinions are like terminal illnesses. Nobody wants them, but you're getting them. Anyway this week we're swinging wide open with our gate themed episode because ac apparently our creative well is run drier than your mum. So of course our top five segment features cinemas most memorable gates.

A list that sure to be as contentious as it is pointless and irrelevant. After that, our main feature has us taking a look at the world's deadliest game of hide and seek in 2000 one's enemy at the gates, which now serves as quaint historical reminder that Russia was once considered the good guys in a war.

And for children we will eventually cut out of our lives. We are discussing Stargate Infinity, an animated TV show, which proves that even interdimensional travel can be rendered boring if you just try hard enough and hire cheap enough. Animators fair warning, listener discretion isn't just advised.

It's a necessity as this podcast contains profanity, spoilers, and ideas from men who shouldn't really be near a Microphone. So pour yourself something [00:01:00] strong enough to dull the pain of our voices, and let's get through this as quick as we can, shall we? All that's left to do is introduce the dad, starting with dishy Chris.

He approaches watching films with the enthusiasm of a death row. Inmate walking to the electric chair, and his ideal movie would be a 62nd crime thriller in which everybody dies in the first scene.

Better late than ever. It's the man who once told me, I like my women, like, I like my coffee. And when I asked how that was, he just said, I don't really like coffee.

It's sidey. And then there's me regs. Hello.

Sidey: I thought that was gonna be ground up and in the freezer

Reegs: Nice. Oh,

Sidey: No, it was the other one. How is everyone?

No, Dan. No Dan today, ever. He's on his, he's right now, I think he's in

Cris: In the

air. In the air. He's in the air on the way to

Yes. I was gonna say, I dunno exactly where he actually flies into. So I can't

Sidey: airport, I

imagine.

Cris: Yes, but an airport in Japan. But I dunno which city he lands

Sidey: No, I dunno. I don't follow the detail. But yeah, he's away for two [00:02:00] solid weeks. So that's he's given granted us access to the man cave though, so

Reegs: I reckon I asked him a good two or three times where he was going, what he was doing.

I

Sidey: it's one of those, when he, when he starts talking, you just tune

Reegs: Yeah. Blah, blah blah. Yeah.

Sidey: Did anyone watch anything good on the telly?

Cris: I did.

Sidey: What was it?

Cris: I watched? Do you know what I watched this last, last week, but I just forgot that I watched it. I watched the Crow. the new one? The new one. yeah.

Sidey: Is it good?

Okay.

Cris: I liked it. It was good. It was, it was. I mean, I liked the first.

Sidey: I haven't even seen the old one. The Brandon Lee one.

Cris: to. They used to be a series.

Sidey: Yes.

Cris: anyone seen that?

Reegs: A TV series? Yes. I have not seen that. No.

Cris: Yes, the Crow, it used to be a series and

Sidey: I haven't seen any crow content of any kind.

Reegs: you? Not? The first one's really

Cris: The first one I, I like, I like the first one.

Reegs: one. A bit of weirdness and mystique around it 'cause of what happened to Brenda Lee.

Cris: I've watched and it's good. It's good.

Reegs: who's the crow?

Cris: the scar [00:03:00] guard.

Reegs: Which, the, which one?

The one who is Infinity Paul, or

Cris: No,

Reegs: a different

Cris: He's a young one, Peter. Okay. The one that's in, I think so he's, he's

Sidey: Tel,

Cris: I

dunno, the young one.

He's the youngest. The youngest of them all. He's also good looking and the girl is, is good as well in it. I I, I, I wish I could tell you all these details, who these actors are. I know

Reegs: any good crows in it.

Cris: Prose Crows,

Reegs: Crows, Mm-hmm.

Cris: It's called The Crows. You can, it's good. It's, it's a nice, it's a nice, interesting mean, I know the concept.

I've seen this before. The, the idea and how it is that between the two worlds, he dies, but he kind kind of doesn't and all that. It's, it's good. It's a, it's, it reminded me of the Constantine, Keanu Reeves one, which I, I always liked that movie and it's kind of the old Crow meets Constantine.

It's kind of like [00:04:00] in between that. It's good, it's good. I enjoyed it. And I've watched a movie, which I'm, I, I wrote it down so I remember the name in my notes because it's a movie with Kate Blanchet and Bradley Cooper, and he is a mentalist,

Reegs: right. A magician type one. Yes.

Cris: Yes. He's like a, a FA circus kind of.

He is got William Def foe. He is got oh. It is really good. It's really good. I really enjoyed it. I've got another, probably, I would say another 45 minutes of it, because it's two hours and 48 minutes or something like that. And I, I just, I couldn't stay awake for too long. I know. Yeah. Nightmare Alley it's called.

Reegs: Alright. Okay. It's a Guillermo del Toro one, I think, isn't it? Yeah. Okay.

Cris: I dunno if anyone watched it, but I, I'm gonna nominate for the pod, I think because it's, I quite enjoy it and it's dark. It's, it's, it's good. It's got quite a few good actors in it and I haven't finished it, but it's, so far [00:05:00] it's, it's good.

Sidey: Nice. What about you, Ruth?

Reegs: no, not a lot. Really This week? No. What about you?

Sidey: think so. I think we had

Cris: have you watched that LOL, the, the.

Reegs: Yes, we finished that off. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that

Cris: was, it keeps popping up on my prime thing,

Reegs: the Bob Morman thing. Yeah,

Sidey: I do. You know, they filmed all of that in one afternoon. It's amazing, isn't it? Yeah. just got everything in there in like the big brother house for one afternoon, six hours, whatever it was. Yeah. Just enough to get the, that episodes and just bang.

Reegs: it's quite amazing that they can get a decent program out of it, so Yeah.

Enjoyed that.

Sidey: Cool.

Cris: Well, I've never seen it. I, I just seen the

kind of, you know, the trailer to it and stuff. I, I've seen that, but

Sidey: I've just, through the magic of TikTok, seeing all the

Cris: Yeah, you were saying that I, I,

Sidey: really all I wanna say.

Cris: I, I don't wanna sound horrible because obviously I, half of the time I don't understand the, the layers of the joke.

Yeah. I just don't think they're that funny, those guys. But, but because I don't understand the, the English language, the way [00:06:00] they

nuance

Sidey: a. Like Bob Morton was quite a, I'd say a Brit centric kind of Mm.

You know, that eccentric kind of sense of humor probably doesn't translate that well to

Reegs: No.

But Io Addie was much more sort of quick witted and funny and real

life.

Cris: Io Addie the one with the hair? Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. He's not quite, how he sometimes appears in his, like, scripted stuff. He's actually got quite a lot going on.

Sidey: I, I tell you what I did watch, which is back on, it is just a series have I got news for you? Which I always enjoy. That's back on and there's quite a lot of news to talk about, so it's quite entertaining. That was it really.

Cris: Alright, so not, not a lot of,

Sidey: what did we talk about last week is the top five?

Reegs: Was it thes? Oh, I, there was, we made a terrible mistake. Really? It was not the week, week to make this mistake, but Darren, Darren Lethally pointed out it's a working man, not the working man as we wanted to have, but it was the staff.

Sidey: yeah.

he did say it's also not as good as the beekeeper, which is Wow.

Reegs: I liked the [00:07:00] beekeeper. That

Sidey: So did I. But I wouldn't say it's like a great movie by any means. So it's not as good as that. He did also nominate the Lady Killers.

Reegs: Oh wow. There, it's right there

Sidey: I'm assuming the EEN comedy not the terrible Cohen Brothers movie. Yeah, there's no it. So yeah, that's a strong one.

Reegs: Put it in.

Sidey: Should we crack on with the top five gates we

Cris: can do? Yeah.

Sidey: Gates. Gates.

Cris: Gates,

Sidey: How did everyone interpret gates? I.

Cris: Well,

Sidey: Just, just literal gates.

Cris: told me earlier today that Bill Gates is taken, so

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. I've got Bill Gates on my list,

Sidey: Well, hang on.

Reegs: on.

There are all kinds of

Cris: No, because Sady came to the cafe where I work today and although it was a bit of a strange one because I've seen him when he parked his bike.

then I expected him to come in for a coffee, but then I didn't see him until half 12.

Sidey: That's because I'd been to the gym and I was stinking, I couldn't go into the cafe with all nice people. I was all smelly. So I had a shower and I came back later. Right. Yeah. Right. I've got a person with [00:08:00] Gates in the name.

Yeah, it's Gates

Reegs: That

was, that's who I've got as well. Yeah, that's a good one.

Sidey: Kates McFadden played a Beverly Crusher in Star Trek. Next Generation. Yeah. Which I'm sure you all know, I'm quite a big fan of. There is an episode in, there aren't many episodes that are, are Beverly Crusher centric, but that is one notable one.

It's in season seven, episode 14. It's called Sub Rosa. Yeah. Do you know about this one? It's they go to a planet, Aldos four it's a Terraformed colony and. They have for some reason styled it in the, the in the look and feel of 19th century Scotland.

So I

Reegs: I might have seen this one.

Sidey: Everyone has that kind of accent and eventually it's like a ghost type alien. Yeah. And it takes over the body and it she goes there for her grandmother's funeral. Yeah. And she gets possessed. And I think the grandmother's body gets possessed. It's absolutely awful.

I mean, it's staggeringly bad.

Reegs: Yeah. It sounds

Sidey: it's widely [00:09:00] considered to be one of the worst episodes of any

Reegs: It's not just, yeah.

Sidey: Not just Star Trek. It's absolutely fucking dreadful. So very memorable for that reason. Wow.

Good

Reegs: But I always like the Dr. Crusher was her name and she was the ship's medical

Sidey: She was, she was the head, head doctor

Reegs: and she had this bright or hair, which I think when I was a kid I was, didn't find her attractive, but I think I would quite like her now.

Sidey: Oh, I was always a Troy. Always Troy fan.

Reegs: Troy, yeah.

She had the

Sidey: right. But she also disappeared season two. There was no gates McFadden in season two.

she back. She came back after that. I think there might have been a dispute about money or she just fact doing something else. I think it was probably

Reegs: a character. She had a son, didn't she? That Wesley? Yeah. Although, yeah, exactly that

Sidey: she had Wesley who ended up husband. No, he was dead. Dead. He had died in a Starlee accident, I think.

But then there was an on off romance with Picard, which they later made like far more explicitly, I think in the end actually the very two part what was the name of that episode? But anyway, the two parter, 'cause it flashes forward to the future. Yeah. And they are [00:10:00] divorced couple there. And then they go on and on about it more in the Picard series, which is a bit shit.

Really? And they have another kid in that who's something, something Borg in season three. It's fucking crap. I'm not gonna say that bit 'cause not worth saying anyway. Gatesman Fadden,

Reegs: but in non Star Trek stuff, she was also in the Muppets State Manhattan, the Hunt for Red October, the Cosby Show LA Law Party of Five. And I found out that this is pretty cool. She was a choreographer on Labyrinth.

Sidey: Nice.

Cris: Was she asleep in the Cosby

Reegs: Yeah, I hope not.

Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Gates McFadden,

Sidey: She's never, I'm sure she's never been nominated before, so There you go.

Reegs: so.

Cris: Getting so. Wow, that's amazing. Really?

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: I should know better, but the, the first one the first gates that as in gates to

Sidey: Mm-hmm.

Cris: mm-hmm. Are the gates in the Adams family.

Sidey: Okay.

Cris: To the house of the Adams family. I dunno if any of you watched the, I'm talking about the cartoons because the films, I didn't really, I didn't really get it, the get into the films, but the [00:11:00] cartoons, I used to like them as a kid and I used to like the, the lurch, the guy that would open the door and he would just be really slow and the brother and Wednesday and all that.

I, I kind of, I quite like the, the. Dark humor, but in the, at the beginning when they do the Adams family

Reegs: at

Cris: beginning, there's the,

Reegs: didn't didn gate

Cris: and the property in the back. Yeah. And then the lightning and the dark clouds and all that. And it's like, I can't, I can't remember

Sidey: Does it like creek open? Do

Cris: Yes.

Yeah. They do creek and everything is, is kind of scary and spooky. And those are the gates. I wish they, I would have the name or I can't remember the name of the property. But the, the gates are memorable to me and hopefully to people that are more knowledgeable into the A family. I was very young and Carto network was where I learned English.

So if anyone was upset with the fact that, I don't remember. I was young and I don't that was [00:12:00] where there was no dubbing or subtitles. So I had to

Just listen to English all the time. Yeah. And I still liked cartoons. Not as much now, but I used to like them as a kid.

Sidey: Well, you'd love this week's kids offering, but we'll get to that later.

Cris: Okay.

Reegs: Can I have the Golden Gate

Sidey: Yes.

Reegs: So it's been on many movie posters,

Sidey: used to a kill.

Reegs: right. Well I'm coming to that as well. It's on the movie posters for Rise of the Planet. The Apes just there behind Caesar's shoulder. A Star Trek four has a great like, hand drawn poster of a cling on Warbird

Sidey: Is that the journey home over? No. Is it? Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. Where Spark. Just come back,

Sidey: that just Spock or

Reegs: No, that was number three. So it's the one they go back

Sidey: and to save the whale. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: So that has the cling on Bird of Prey materializing over the bridge. Bumblebee, the Transformer spinoff has it on the poster. Antman and David Fincher's Zodiac, which of course was set in that place and was really good.

And then films where the Golden Gate Bridge is destroyed or attacked in some [00:13:00] way. 1950 fives, it came from Beneath the Sea, where a giant sea creature comes up and attacks. It's Superman. There's a catastrophic earthquake, a view to a kill. There's like a blimp, but the, it's not really harmed the bridge.

It's more blimp damage. But

Sidey: yeah, it's just do they get on it or does it pierce the bli,

I

Reegs: the blimp. Hulk has Hulk jumping onto the bridge and have the, it gets shot by fighter jets. X-Men, the last man the last stand magneto moves the entire bridge. So to Alca, to Alcatraz so they can get across mega Shark versus Giant Octopus I know is one of your favorites.

And also Pacific Rim, Godzilla and San Andreas all see the, so it's like a real symbol of America being destroyed, isn't it? Oh, I suppose thinking about it as well, wasn't that a bridge for that guy who just drove into it in and just took out a massive bridge? Where was that?

Sidey: In real life.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: I dunno

Reegs: Yeah. Well anyway, I dunno. Don't worry about it, but it did happen. So yeah, the Golden Gate Bridge's

Sidey: a good [00:14:00] one.

Bill Gates of course. Mm-hmm. I dunno if you've heard of him. He co-founded Microsoft. Anyone remember the name of the other guy?

Cris: No, I don't. Don't look at me,

Sidey: Paul Allen.

Reegs: Oh yeah,

Sidey: He's the one that managed to stay relatively not that of score.

He owns loads of sports teams and whatever. But anyway, bill Gates he has appeared in pirates of Silicon Valley.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Not as, not playing himself. He was played by Anthony Michael Hall in that it's a dramatization of the early rivalry days between Microsoft and Apple. And then the Big Bang

Reegs: Yeah.

Your

Sidey: favorite

oh, I was a huge fan of this season 11. So you had to tra through about 5 million episodes to get to it. Season 11 episode 18, the Gates excitation he actually cameos as himself

Cris: even

worse.

Sidey: The Sheldon apparently hilariously stalks him. I doubt the validity of that claim. So yeah, bill

Reegs: you can say [00:15:00] anything and just put with hilarious results on at

Sidey: Fake news.

He's also got various other series and things. There was one that I watched just like Inside the Mind of Bill Gates about, you know, things are four part on Netflix. Just wanted to see what his sort of

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Daily life was like. It's just pretty boring. It just goes to meetings

and stuff.

Reegs: He's also in South Park quite a lot. He's in bigger, longer uncut in the movie.

Sidey: That's right.

Reegs: he gets executed by the general, doesn't he? For, not for Windows 98. It is all fucked. And he's also, he's got loads of tattoos in that he appears in the series and he wins the console wars, I think

Sidey: Right, okay. Nice. Yeah. Bill Gates.

Cris: Wow, okay. I've got a bit of a sad set of gates, but it is part of history and it, they are in a movie called The Zone of Interest, which I know it's about your people and all that. And it's one of the, the main causes for the Holocaust. But it is the gates of Auschwitz and they are in this movie.

And I've been to, I've not been to [00:16:00] Auschwitz. I want to go just because there's a few of my friends that have been, and my mate, his Mrs. Polish and she's from fairly close by and she's like, look, if you want to, if you ever want to just kind of see how you go somewhere, and even if no one would tell you what it is, obviously you, you know what it is when you

Sidey: Yeah. I just feel that the atmosphere is

Cris: my mate was like, he, he's, he doesn't, he never read as much as I did about the war and the history and all that. History is my favorite thing at school, and I kind of, it's not like I, I wanna go just to feel the chills in that. I've been to the PLAs Inval in Paris where they replicate an area of with actual stuff that they had at Auschwitz.

They replicate an area of it in the pluses invalid in the, in the War museum in, in Paris as well. And it's really, they basically took a part of the fence that still had like clothes and stuff on it. It's, and honestly it just gets like the chicken [00:17:00] skin straight away. And, and my mate was like, mate, I don't even know what he was saying, because he doesn't speak Polish, doesn't speak any other language.

And they kept some of the signs and all that. And obviously he's been so many sense, but he's like, he's like, you can't believe how you feel when you're there. So. That, which is a bit of a sad note, but it is in a movie and, and that's part of history

Sidey: for Sure.

Cris: And has been in documentaries and blah, blah, blah.

So that's the I'm not gonna go into details. We all know what happened, so that, it's called The Zone of Interest,

Sidey: Cool.

Reegs: Well, the Tan Hauser gate. Oh when a blade, R blade, runner blade riner blade runner's most iconic lines, I think is about.

Yeah. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I've watched Seabees Glitter in the dark near the Tan Hauser gate. It comes from German folklore, the word tan tan Hauser about a knight or a bard who has to travel through a kind of portal to get to a fairy kingdom.

And it was [00:18:00] used also in the movie Soldier. There's a little reference to town Hauser Gate in a deleted scene from the same writer. Also in Transformers war for Cybertron that we watched on this very pod. There's a little reference of a battle at town, Hauser Gate and in drill bit. Taylor, did you ever see that one?

No. If Owen Wilson, he there's one bit where he is trying to, he's hired as a bodyguard for these kids. He's trying to spook them, and he actually recites it, like to prove his credentials. but Well, one of them calls him out straight on it. Like, what? That's from Blade. We know

Sidey: Good one. Yeah. I'm gonna go for, well, let's see if you'll let me have this one. I'm gonna go for the hell mouth. Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Yeah. It's the gate. Slash

Reegs: Is it a portal?

Sidey: Well, you ever see it? It is just referred to it as the Hell Mouth and it's the gate which the demons and whatever come through. Yeah. And appear in, in Sunnydale. And I just wanted to shoehorns and Buffy content there 'cause

Reegs: That's what a

Sidey: and it's supposed to be coming back. [00:19:00] Buffy. It's being rebooted. Yeah. But then Michelle Denberg sadly passed away about a month or so ago, so, don't really know what's going on there.

Reegs: That was another thing, wasn't it? That the title of Slayer was handed down through generations of things as well. So it's ripe for regeneration.

Sidey: Well, she's gonna, she was gonna be in it though, say Michelle Geller.

Reegs: Yeah, but passing the baton, I would think.

Sidey: well, the, because she died and was saved, there was a second sale, the faith so there was then two, but it's sort of like, it was like Highlander. There could be any one.

So when one died, it was another one was called. So yeah, interesting to see what they do with that. But I don't know, maybe they'll shelve it for a little bit now. Anyway, I did love her series.

Cris: But why would she not be in it though? Sam? She'll go. She's, I mean, you imagine she's in her fifties now, but,

Sidey: Well, I think they, you know, certain people either want to do that thing again or they just, that was the time,

Cris: that was right.

That was back then

Sidey: happy. But she does, you know, I think she kind of raised a family and wasn't super busy doing other stuff. So,

Cris: I [00:20:00] was gonna say, I don't think she's been in anything really since. No.

Sidey: she doesn't, one or two things, but she's never been super into it. But then she was like, if it's the, you know, they like, they always say, oh, if it's the project is right and it's done well and the script is good and blah blah, I'll consider it. And then it did seem like it had got a lot of momentum and it was gonna come back.

But then tragic events have stalled it, I think. Yeah.

Cris: I've got the. They're called two different things, but they're called the doors of dur or the west gates for the mines of Moria in

Sidey: yeah, yeah. It's ripe in Lord of Rings is ripe for gate

Reegs: Oh, there's a lot of gates in Lord of the Rings.

Cris: Yeah, but this one was one I remember. So

Sidey: this we had to speak the

Cris: Yes. And you kind of, you know, I, I think

Sidey: it was a p it was a puzzle.

Cris: Yes. And I think Froude kind of realizes

Sidey: what Selfish for a friend, isn't it?

Cris: Yes. And, and then the sea creature.

Sidey: The giant octopus. Squid, yes. Fight. Yeah. They fight

Reegs: Kraken thing.

Cris: is that correct

Sidey: No, rigs just hates just [00:21:00]

Reegs: Oh, I just, I was shaking my head.

Oh, Elish for friend. Why does anybody like this Courtney? Bullshit.

great.

Oh, man. I

Cris: I dunno. I, I just thought it was interesting considering the fact that it was kind of like a, one of those things in, in the, the game, like the Tom Raider where you, you don't really know where you are and then it's like a, oh, it's this corner.

There's a portal and you go through another dimension or whatever. So, so that's kind of how, anyway, that Can I have that? Absolutely. Although it, it is called The Doors of Duren. So it says The doors of Duren, also known as the Westgate, the West Door, Elvin Door, or Holland Gate

Reegs: That's got two gates in its titles, isn't it?

Sidey: You can, there's also the Black Gate of Mordo

Reegs: black Gate of Mordo.

Sidey: That's how Boer would've said it. Yeah.

Cris: There you go.

Sidey: go. Those are the ones that I think have to be opened by massive troll monsters. It's so massive. They chained up and they they have to like

Reegs: to beat the drums. Like, come on lads, get to work.

Sidey: You're lazy

Cris: fucking steroid freaks.

Sidey: Yeah. There's a [00:22:00] lot of good GA content in,

Reegs: was that steroids that did that to them, I thought. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. I think

Cris: I think so. If you go to any Iron Man, strong man, not Iron Man.

Reegs: They all look like

Cris: They like, they all, yeah, they're all kind of similar, so, you know,

Reegs: Well, I know everybody is passionate about production companies.

Yeah. And there's Lionsgate which is a great production company actually. Think about, they got kind of, they've been Tip Ping along, I think since like the seventies, but they picked up a load of like genre franchises in the noughties. They did like, the Hunger Games and the Twilight,

Sidey: was one of the ones we watched this week. Lionsgate,

Reegs: maybe.

Yeah, maybe. It should have been Enemy. Well, whichever one. It would've worked out, wouldn't it? And they did the John Wick franchise and that they've got that real habit of like picking up mid budget stuff and turning them into great big franchises and generating a lot of money out of them. So, that's good.

Lionsgate. And then there's Dragon Gate Productions which was a 1990s thing from the prolific Hong Kong guy, Sue [00:23:00] Hark.

Cris: Oh yes.

Reegs: And he did New Dragon Gate Inn and which was a load of like, cla like the Osher style of

Sidey: Cracking tiger stuff.

Reegs: supernaturally, yeah. Wires and historical intrigue and honor and justice and all that shit.

And all like Donny Yen and Maggie Chung and Tony Lung and all those

Cris: I actually heard of those. I didn't know the Hong Kong guy,

Reegs: he

brought all those names across to America as well, so, yeah. Yeah.

Cris: on. Yeah.

Sidey: All about Gate as a suffix for some sort of scandal slash important

Cris: event Pizza Gate?

Sidey: Yes. I think it started with the, the Watergate

Cris: Ah, well

Sidey: with the water. Something, something to do with water.

I think

Cris: cares about Nixon?

was that Nixon? No, it

Sidey: that was Nixon. So, so this, we, we can get in all the president's men 'cause that forms the, the, the drive for the plot of, woodward and Bernstein's. Yeah. Journalistic enterprise, finding out about this and, and drilling down into this scandal. What, what [00:24:00] exactly was going on there?

That will start with the Watergate. Now everything that happens is a gate,

Reegs: is a gate,

Sidey: tariff gate, possibly. Yeah. And other sort of scandals just get the word gate Yeah. Bolted onto the end and, and everyone kind of knows what that

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: And then it means we can have, like I said, all the president's, man, great

Reegs: Nice.

Cris: Okay. I've got

No. Well, hope not. Jesus Christ. I've got the gates of hell. Which is, it's in, in the world. There are so many places where they are as associated with the gates of hell.

For instance, in China, FDU has a long history in the Tais tradition of being a portaled. Hell in the Stan, a burning natural gas fire is in the

desert, is known as the door to hell.

Reegs: there's a Woolworths in Guernsey that's like that as well.

Sidey: Yeah,

Cris: there's according to Hawaiian folklore, the Y-P-Y-P-O Valley contains an interest to the lower world, which is [00:25:00] now concealed with sand in York, Pennsylvania.

Urban legend claims that is one of the seven gates of hell in Hellem Township Mount O Sore in northern Japan. Dan's going There is set to be an entrance to hell in Tibet. There's an entrance. Hell's Gate National Park is a national park in Kenya, which is named for

Reegs: so bloody far away.

These gates to hell, aren't they?

Cris: There's the Messiah Volcano is located in Nicaragua and is known as another gate of Hell, and it's part of the first national park in the country.

Sidey: Well, that's mixed messages. Goes to hell. But it's also a national park. Well,

Cris: yeah.

Sidey: Which one is it?

Cris: I dunno. Saudi, I'm sorry. Jesus. Also in Asian Hindu tradition, the Orion constellation where the vernal economics stated to occur the Milky Way and the Canice were considered to form the border between heaven and hell.

Sidey: Good Lord.

Reegs: We've got the [00:26:00] devil's hole. Is that, is that a gateway to hell?

Cris: That's your hole. That's only your

Reegs: Oh.

Sidey: or a pub.

Cris: It's a priory. I, it it it's quite of a paradox that you go to priory as a pub and then add the entrance towards the devil's hole.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Is that not, do you not think that's quite a

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: Bit of a

Reegs: there is a play area there. So it basically

Sidey: that is as a hellhole. Yeah.

Reegs: yeah.

Cris: in, in here in Jersey. But anyway can I have that as the gates of hell to all these like

Sidey: All of those things are going, yeah.

Cris: Okay. Thank you.

Sidey: Anything else?

Reegs: Well, just, I thought it was worth mentioning airport gates.

Sidey: Oh yeah.

Reegs: you spend a lot of time at them and they do feature in movies quite a lot. The terminal your mate.

Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: He spends a lot of time near airport gates up in the air, which was the

Sidey: I like that one.

Reegs: Yeah. Sad. One he spends all his time

Sidey: He's a lone wolf. Yeah.

Reegs: I think even the, don't call me Shirley, maybe even happens at a gate, I don't know. But there's definitely an early scene where they're smuggling

Sidey: Shirley can't

Reegs: a load of shit and [00:27:00] then a granny comes through and gets taken off by the Special forces. Die hard too.

Had a lot of gates action meet the parents. Has Ben Stiller proposing at the airport gates at the beginning final destination. Good Gates content and home alone.

Sidey: Of course who could forget? Bjork, she has a song but way back from 2017 called The Gate some video games.

DER's Gate, I suppose, is the one

Reegs: B'S Gate.

Sidey: jumps out. Most

Reegs: I never played any of those.

Sidey: And then there's loads of gates of hell stuff actually in the Doom series. Also interesting is to find out all the different things that, that people have been able to get doom running on now. Yeah. So like photocopier screen,

Reegs: a watermelon or something.

Sidey: Yeah, I think on the head, like on a nano thing, they've even got it to run now. Amazing. Yeah. Incredible. I'm just gonna nominate off that. Yeah. I've had enough gate

Cris: action

Yeah. I'm, I'm gonna nominate despite my.

I

passionately hate one of the football clubs in this list. But there's gates in football and the, the historical [00:28:00] gates at football grounds.

Obviously the Shankley gates are the most famous ones. The ones at I bro, that they feature in, in the logo of the club at the, the Liverpool, the, the. Shalee Gates are in the logo of the club. There's the gates at the Portsmouth Stadium, Stratton Park, which I've been a couple of times. And it's, it's quite an iconic way of going into the club.

The gates at Luton at the stadium.

Sidey: into someone's house, isn't it?

Cris: Well,

Sidey: oh, that's the away fans. That's the

Cris: yeah. The other side is, is actual gates where the bus goes in, but there's, you can actually park on the pitch.

Amazing.

Uh, And yeah, there, there's a few, especially in England, obviously, there's a few of them that are, are representative of that.

But the main gates to the, to the stadium, which is the Temple of football in Romania is the Star Booker Stadium. And that's where I grew up since the age of seven until I was 16. And at the gates was when my dad used to, [00:29:00] because it was the army complex, so he couldn't just go in. Because there were soldiers at the gates.

And I, my dad would sometimes drop me off there and he would pick me up from the gates. And they need to get a special shout because and they still exist. They've revamped the stadium and redone everything, but the gates still look as communist as

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Cris: And it just says complex supportive style, which is the style sports complex.

And they need to mention that. So they're not in any movies, sorry,

Sidey: not yet.

Cris: But, but yeah, they, they might be,

Sidey: plenty of time.

Riggs

Reegs: I'm gonna go from the gates from Jurassic Park. Pretty iconic. Not very good at keeping out dinosaurs.

Sidey: Well, there's a lot of human error involved as

Reegs: Yeah. Not just the Gates fault, the passionate defense of the gate industry from

Sidey: I would like to see if

Reegs: see you've been bought big gates.

Got you. Hasn't it?

Cris: He gate.

Sidey: I think we need to see more of the gates. Find out if they were robust enough.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Sidey: Yeah, they were iconic.

Reegs: Nah, nah, [00:30:00] nah.

Sidey: We've been watching the follow up trilogy.

Reegs: Yeah. Okay.

Sidey: all net netters. Yeah. They're not very

Reegs: The most recent one should be amazing really, isn't it? 'cause the dinosaurs have kind of taken over and they're in the real world.

But

Sidey: about locusts. Yeah. Gates McFadden for me. She's gotta go in.

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: Yeah. Come on. Gates, Gatorade let us know your favorite gate,

Reegs: Gates head?

Sidey: Yes, I've been there.

Cris: I've been to Gate Head,

Sidey: the metro the big shoppings.

Reegs: Oh yeah, that's where we went.

Sidey: Yeah. Been there.

Reegs: Yeah.

It is massive.

Sidey: Bigger

than that.

Enemy at the gate?

Reegs: Yes.

Gates

Sidey: Enemy at the gates Stalingrad.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Yes.

Sidey: Had anyone seen this before? Because I had

Cris: I've not seen this before. I've seen the scene with the mirror and the

glass The glass, yeah, the, sorry, the glass. Yeah, sorry. Not the mirror, the

Sidey: Based on a kind of true story. Real people.

Reegs: [00:31:00] Yeah.

Sidey: I

saying based on, because

Reegs: a lot of artistic license taken with history and all sorts, but yeah,

Sidey: I think we, we are in introduced to people on a train, aren't we?

Reegs: Well, it opens with a flashback to the childhood.

Sidey: does actually. Yeah. The, the, the hunting, the character he is trying to keep the wolf from the door as it were.

Reegs: There's a wolf and his hunting with what we'll find out is his grandfather and he tells him to take a shot. He's using his horse's bait, I think, for a wolf. And we don't see whether he sort of, the gun barrel moves and trembles. He takes the shot, but we don't see at that point whether in whether or not he makes the

Sidey: No, we don't. And then

Reegs: the title comes up in that sort of pseudo relic English, doesn't it? Yeah. And then, yeah, many years later, that young boy is now Jude Law. He's a shepherd on a train heading for the front lines in Starling grad.

Sidey: Yeah. While he is on the train, he spots Rachel Vice. just chilling there.

It's actually Rachel Weiss, not a character. It's her. Yeah. He's quite horny, but he doesn't wanna look at her.

Reegs: She's getting off [00:32:00] because all the women and children are being evacuated essentially at this little town. And then the just soldier after soldier is piled on and then crammed into this train and bolted in and sent off, to die

Sidey: Yeah. It's fucking brutal. So they're sent off to Starling grads and

Reegs: I think while he goes off, we get like a little bit of like narration stuff, isn't there? Setting the context about like when it is and the

Sidey: it's 1942 or 40? 1942.

Reegs: It's September 20th, 1942. Yeah.

Sidey: It's a pretty big battle.

There's a lot going on, but when these guys arrive, it's just a con conveyor belt of like canon fodder onto the front line.

Reegs: Yeah. And they have given us just this tiny bit of historical context. It says that Nazis are kind of sweeping across the whole of Europe

Sidey: like

a dad's army style bit of map.

Reegs: Yeah. And Starling grad is the last place, and it will not fall.

It's been ordered not to fall. So everything is being put into keeping this city.

Sidey: Yeah. They're under siege [00:33:00] effectively, but there's. The battle is going on on the other side of the river. So where the train lands, they just get off and they're put onto these fucking rowboats,

Reegs: flimsy wooden boats.

Sidey: and sent across, some of which are just like mortared into oblivion.

Others, they're just strafed by fighter planes just. Gunning people down willy-nilly. Yeah. There's one boat where they get off the boat and it's just a pool of like an enormous pool of blood where people have just been fucking massacred.

Reegs: Yeah. Corpses bobbing around and all the while there's like a, the propaganda officers on the boat shouting inspirational letters at them.

And then if they desert, they're shot as they

Sidey: yeah.

A couple people just are so terrified they get off the boat, but they're just executed in the water. Mm-hmm.

Reegs: Mm. So,

Sidey: yeah, it's not like that much fun.

Reegs: Well, we hasn't even got to the battle yet.

Sidey: No. Then they're, then they are sort of shoehorned towards the front line. Passed a, a lorry effectively with a guy, a soldier giving, telling them to pair up.

One gets a rifle and just told when they die, you pick up [00:34:00] the rifle and carry like fucking hell. And they're given, I think it was six rounds, it looked like just six.

Reegs: it was five I think in it. Yeah.

Sidey: five rounds is all they get. Well, what the fuck kind of battle are you gonna win with that? I mean, nothing.

Reegs: And Jude law is taking this all in because they're in a huge column of men and he looks up into the battle that's happening and the column is snaking off through and just being pounded relentlessly by machine gunfire and people are dying and, but the column is long and you can see it's thin down.

He's like, fucking hell. Like, this is not gonna work. He knows

It's a

pointless battle. And we see that pointless battle as well, don't we?

Sidey: They just told to charge, you know, the whistle goes and they all run in and they're just like, there's just so many machine gun posts, but they're just gunned down as soon as they go over.

It's like, well,

Reegs: well, the German forces are overwhelming as well. Yeah. On the other side. So yeah, they're just obliterated and then they turn back

Cris: and they get shot by the commissar

Reegs: shot for desertion on the way back. So,

Sidey: you're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't. Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty [00:35:00] bleak if it like, it, it, it culminates with Vaseline.

He is, he's on his own, isn't he? Yes. In a, like a town square. And he, along with fucking hell with his name.

Cris: Love.

Reegs: Yeah. Well, we, what happens is we don't actually quite see what happens to him. There's that big battle and

Cris: they all die,

Reegs: die. It all dies down. And then this car comes, caning it through the

Cris: with propaganda, letters.

Reegs: leaf.

It gets shot where the tank takes a few shots and it misses a few times and it hits it and it goes spiraling through the air. And out comes Danal of Joseph finds and he immediately like, runs into this pile of bodies in a fountain and just hides

Sidey: He bur himself under some corpses,

Reegs: corpses. The corpses. Yeah. And they come along the German battalion and they fire into the, like this, oh, it's horrible.

Into all the corpses. But he manages to evade being shot in that thing. And when the battalion has moved off, he's on his own with a rifle

Sidey: Yeah. Yes.

Reegs: that he has.

Sidey: He can see this, the German place in, in this ruined [00:36:00] building.

They're gonna sort of set up there. There's an, you can tell it's an officer 'cause he is ordering people around. They set up a shower for this guy. So, you know,

Cris: And he's fat as well, so you can't be thin, you can't be less than an officer if you're, you're not gonna be a foot soldier and

Sidey: There's, there's some other soldiers there, but he's clearly in charge and he is barking orders to them and he's sort of pointing the rifle, but he is a bit shaky. Doesn't look like that. Accomplished a shot. But Vasily's there,

Reegs: he tries to pull the trigger and there's nothing happens, does it? It

Sidey: Yeah. He fucks it

Cris: is jammed.

This

Sidey: vastly iss there. And he is like, well let you know. Takes, he just takes

Reegs: He suddenly reveals himself. He doesn't want him to take the shot, but then when he realizes he has, he's going to, he takes over.

Sidey: And he just is like a, he's like bullseye and fucking,

it's just all head

Cris: when there's an explosion.

Reegs: Yeah. He says to time it, he talks himself through the shot like his

Sidey: grandfather. Well one guy, one soldier has seen something he's getting towards himself. I think he takes out the, so the, the main officer guy

Reegs: he takes out three guys before the guy who's quite close to him [00:37:00] even knows where he is.

Sidey: all head shots.

It's just bang, bang, bang. 'cause he's been told we've flashed back to that scene with his grandfather and it's, it's always aim for the eye.

Reegs: Yeah. So he gets the guy in the shower, he goes down the, then suddenly

Sidey: his next in command, I

Reegs: looks, when the moment he realizes he is been shot, he gets shot.

Yeah. The two guys are lighting cigarettes and he shoots one as he's, and he turns his back to light it and then pops off his mate and then the finishes off the final guy's. Yeah. Great shot. Brilliant. So Danoff, who is clearly got aims Yeah. Just immediately declares him a hero and wants to kind of report his victory.

Sidey: Yeah. It's, is it a little bit further down the line in, in the timeline? Because I think he's been promoted down a lot of, and Bob Hoskins is there asking

Reegs: that is pretty much what happens next. Yeah.

Sidey: he's like, why are you such shit bags like this, this

Cris: Well, Basically. Basically

after that, he gets more into propaganda because he's like, we need a hero. And then Khrushchev comes in to take over Stalingrad

Reegs: [00:38:00] He's there to improve morale,

Sidey: He's like, what do we, what are we gonna do? We need to thrash more people and fucking like, shoot more. And

Reegs: he forces the general, it's there to kill himself. Like he's our, I

Sidey: maybe he could avoid the,

Reegs: avoid the red tape. Yeah.

Sidey: And Yeah. Behind the closed door, we just hear the gun go off and then something fall over you like, oh, yep, that's the red tape done. And

Reegs: this is where Danoff says, no, give them something different. Give them hope. Yeah. And he

Sidey: full Captain America

Reegs: 'em a hero. Do you know any heroes? And it's like, well, I just so happened to, and they build up this myth of Vaseline, the sniper, the sniper killer, but he is as well.

He goes off, we get a little nice little montage of Nazi killing and his numbers go up ferociously because this pit takes place over about the course of about five or six weeks.

Cris: Yeah. They keep doing the timeline with like September, this, September, October that, yeah.

Reegs: Like 120 dead. Like, and it's all officers as well.

Sidey: Yeah. We see him in the field and he is got his gun pointed at one guy. And it just didn't shoot him. And someone says like, what was that all about? It goes, well,[00:39:00]

Cris: I didn't want to give my

Sidey: I don't want, there's no point giving my position away for, for a

Cris: for, that's just a foot soldier.

There's no,

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah.

It's, no, it's not worth it. So he's quite clever.

Reegs: So he's a hero, a national propaganda icon.

He's transferred to the sniper division to carry out more kills, which is where he eventually ends up meeting Rachel Vice's Tanya,

Cris: But also, meanwhile, ed Harris.

Sidey: Yeah. The Nazis aren't gonna be too thrilled about this guy.

Single-handedly it seems. Yeah. Keeping them at bay. Yeah. So they're can dispatch their,

Reegs: their top snipers, the head of the sniper division, major Kerig.

He also arrives on a train. But it's a really luxurious one and he is drinking fine teas and smoking his

Cris: drinks brandy and he pulls, do you see all the, all the German soldiers being in like the medical train and he just pulls the curtain down so they don't see him.

He is like, yeah, fuck off,

Sidey: Apparently Hitler had done that. He didn't wanna see all the like shit going on, so we would just pull the curtain down

Cris: Really? like,

Sidey: pretend it wasn't happening. Yeah.

Reegs: he's like a barren or something and [00:40:00] like hunted for pleasure and,

Sidey: he seems like a real Porsche, doesn't

Reegs: it? Yeah. So we've got this kind of class divide as well between the two, the Poor Shepherd from Russia and the, the Baron from Germany.

We're gonna be engaged in this battle of wits between these two snipers.

Sidey: Yeah. The bar, he likes to get his shoes polished by some little street urchin dude. Yeah. Who's got fairly loose lips, Sasha. Yeah. Yeah. Sasha's going to be this sort of intermediary between the two parties.

Yes. Spilling the beans on where people may or may not be hiding or where they, where they will emerge because the, the

Reegs: sometimes feeding him disinformation and

Sidey: but you kind of feel watching going, well this can only go on for so long. Yeah. And put

Reegs: Well, the boys put himself in a really horrible

Sidey: position.

Yeah. The city is like. Bombed to shit. I mean, it is fucking,

Cris: is ruin. Everything is a ruin.

Sidey: People are coming like versus coming through a pipe and through some some sort of bombed out thing and

Cris: through the tractor

Sidey: Yeah.

And there's [00:41:00] not, I mean there's fuck all left to fight forward really at this point in that, in this city, but yeah, there's gonna be a bit of cat mouse now between these two.

Reegs: Yeah. And sometimes you don't know quite who's got the upper hand at some points. And

Cris: is where you have Ron Perlman and I think another girl.

Yeah. And a dude that they all get shot by Ed Harris. this incredible at different kind of,

at different, kind of by him being too clever or moving in a different direction, or not being where they think he

is.

Reegs: always one step ahead Chris, isn't he? Yeah. He's always one step ahead of them. He takes down his former student, Ron Perlman, with this great shot as they're jumping from ruined floor to, you know, from one building to another.

Cris: because that's the idea. That's the idea throughout the, the movie. Until then, whoever goes first

Is the

one that's the safest because nobody sees him when they move from one building to another, or when

Reegs: they, they're not ready to take the shot where

Cris: first one, you're never, you're never ready to cross the, you know, it's like, oh, whose turn is it to [00:42:00] go first?

It's mine. No, its mine. And then when he goes, he was waiting for him

Reegs: And he's shaken as well because he, you know, he start, Jude Law starts to think, you know, is my myth got too big, this guy's too good. Like, he's gonna get me, you know,

Cris: And while all this is happening both Danny Love and him are getting closer and closer with Rachel Weis.

Reegs: Mm.

Cris: Mm-hmm. And you

can tell that they're both kind of falling in

Reegs: There's a love triangle going on, isn't there? There's a scene where

Cris: love moves her to counterintelligence or something

Reegs: Yeah. To take her away from the front line,

Cris: to, take her away from the front line. And she speaks German.

She went to university in Moscow, and that was one where I kind of went like, oh, okay. They both kind of, oh, she went to uni in Moscow. Oh, it, it is almost like, oh, okay.

Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah, but they're both quite smitten with her,

Cris: Rightly so. She's

Yeah.

And then slowly we're, we're, we're getting Sasha gives more information and [00:43:00] then we can actually see that.

It's almost a triangle between Sasha Ed Harris's character. What, what is the Kerig Kerig major And Dan love where they, Dan love tells him, tell him that Kerig kind of says, oh, you told me that, but actually doesn't believe it fully.

Reegs: Yeah. There's a lot of cat and mouses. I think the sequences that are worth talking about are the one where, because Vice Rachel Vice's character Tanya does get transferred back to the sniper division because she's got a backstory of her parents being Jewish immigrants who were killed and she wants her place revenge and you know, vastly doesn't wanna stand in her way for that.

Yeah. And also they're gonna fuck later in a kind of weird scene and

Cris: scene. What are you talking about? That's who wouldn't wanna have sex like that.

Reegs: Yeah. Also there's the sequence, what you were talking about with the, the

Cris: Yes. With the glass.

Reegs: see him reflected in the glass. It's a cool sequence.

He ends up shooting him in the hand, I think. And there's another sequence where he's forced, he kills one of his own men. [00:44:00] Unwittingly doesn't realize, doesn't he? That oh, that's what Ron Pearlman does that it's more the scene where.

He has a chance to kill Ed Harris, but he falls asleep. Yes. He knows where he is

Cris: where the, when the thing have the on the boots, the Yeah,

Reegs: He uses the kids to set him up. They know, they, they find out, you know, he's got this particular type of dust from his boots. They know exactly where he is gonna be

Sidey: from a sulfur factory or something like

Reegs: Yeah. But he falls asleep and misses him. So it's all, you know, really fraught.

Sidey: Yeah. I think he's getting at the full eight hours sleep every night that he needs

Cris: And then it comes to the point where he, how does he get to this? I, I I, I watched it on Friday, but I can't

Reegs: well Kerig

realizes what Sash has been doing. 'cause he is like, figures out. He

Sidey: sort of tries to give him an out.

Yeah. He, he's been bribing him with gimme some information, gives him some chocolate

Reegs: Chocolate and bacon.

Sidey: that's enough. Now I want you to promise me and absolutely assure me that you will, this, you'll be gone. This is, you gone like, get to fuck. And it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, [00:45:00] fuck, I don't think this is gonna play out.

Yeah. Quite how I'd like it to. Because he's, he's stationed. Like at the, is it a train station or some sort of industrial area? Yeah, yeah.

Cris: Some factory or something.

Sidey: Anyway, it, it, so it's all kicking off at this point because Dan Love has seen ly

and Rachel Vice. Yeah. Doing the wild thing.

Reegs: Yeah. They have a real intimate moment

Sidey: I think he just sees him kissing in a corridor. It's, he doesn't seem to have sex. I think it's when he sees them

Reegs: I figured he'd watch them have sex as

Sidey: I would've as well, but he's like fucking really? I think he cries. He's, he's well upset about it.

Yeah.

Reegs: And he decides to turn on,

Sidey: he puts out some shit saying that he's a traitor and it is all bollocks.

Reegs: His petty

jealousies.

Now

Sidey: He's not fighting for mother Russia and all this sort of stuff. So there's that going on. But also then what's the kid called? Sasha. basically goes back to give some more bullshit intel [00:46:00] to

Cris: Kerig.

Sidey: To Kerig. And he just leads him off and says, I fucking told you, you know, I made you promise that you wouldn't come back. And he leads him off. And then we just see Rachel Vice looking in the binoculars and she screams. Yeah. And you just see the kids just been fucking strung up and hanged from some fucking thing.

Like, oh man,

Reegs: He takes him out, doesn't he? Into the mist and there's a load of bodies already strung up there and you're like, oh my God.

Sidey: he's just left there as a message to them. You like, oh, ouch.

Reegs: So

now, you know, with the guilt of this hanging over him as well for Danal love. And then as he, he goes to tell the mother, Sasha's mother, but he can't face up to it. So he tells him, he tells her that his son is defected.

Sidey: Yeah. He is fucked off. She's like, well, that's

Reegs: kind of almost pleased, like,

Sidey: it's not great, but at least it won't die. Yeah. And you're like, oh,

Reegs: It was better for her to believe that, I

Sidey: And she even leaves a message for him saying that she's gone and

Cris: Yeah. On the, on the

Sidey: on.

[00:47:00] Yeah. That she, it'll be okay.

Cris: And then Vasili goes to, that's it. I'm gonna kill him.

Yeah. That's where he kind of, and kig is waiting for him.

Reegs: So, well, it's, it's,

they, they run off it because it's, his motivation is Dan love's motivation as he goes in, so they try to escape and Tanya is hit as they escape and we think she's dead.

So Dan love has got nothing to lose now, and it plays into the final scenes,

Sidey: Yeah. He goes, he confronts

Vaseline and says, you know, fucking, he has a goat him about shagging. The girl that he was in love with is also obviously beside himself, but the fact that the kid is dead and also that he thinks that she is dead, she has died,

Reegs: and his faith in Mother Russia and communism

Sidey: his, everything that he basically believes in is gone.

Yeah. So he gives this sort of speech and then just stands up in the, you know, makes himself completely visible to any waiting snipers that might be around. And is just executed, shot straight through the forehead, bang, gone. Giving

Reegs: [00:48:00] his position.

Sidey: the position. Yeah. I,

Reegs: I know Pointlessly because it doesn't even play out like that.

Sidey: Yeah. So Kern exec that's the make of car.

Reegs: Yeah. Kern eeg. Does he

Sidey: Does he think that that's ly He thinks he

Reegs: vastly so he

Sidey: he just gets up and walks over. Yeah. Which seems a bit.

Reegs: having literally not fallen for that exact ploy earlier in the movie when Pearlman did it with the

Sidey: Yeah.

it does seem a bit reckless, but he's sort of tiptoeing then across the divide between the two of them.

Yeah. And then he just sort of looks across and vastly is just standing there

Reegs: He's not even, you don't even have to be a sniper to hit him from where he is. I

Sidey: think any of us could have made this shot. And he is just looking at him and he's like, oh fuck. I've just, I've just, that's a absolute rookie era.

Yeah. And

Reegs: and it's almost a well played as well there though,

Sidey: it? Yeah, he's a bit, it is like the raptor bit in Jurassic Park.

Reegs: Yeah. There we go. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. And yet he doesn't wait for any dog. Just fucking executes

Reegs: Bang.

Sidey: You're gone off,

Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: And

And, fun little thing about him is that his son died in the early days of the war at Starling Ground and he [00:49:00] wears his

Cris: Yes. Yeah. that's,

Sidey: Because he says one of his higher up says, look, you need to give me a dog tags because we can't have you

Cris: dying now.

Sidey: And the Russians get all fucking excited about having taken you as well. So if you die, you'll just being an anonymous soldier. And he is like, okay, well you'll need to take this.

And that's when he says about his son's blah, blah, blah. So vastly fucks off goes to the hospital. Yeah. And we see that Rachel Vice is not actually dead.

Cris: and then we see that he received a letter from her.

Sidey: Yeah. It's just a flesh wound. She's super horny to see him. Yeah.

Cris: Well they keep saying she's not here.

She's not here. And then

Sidey: I know it was really shoddy record keeping. She's right there.

Cris: Yeah. And he kind of looks, and I, I dunno what the, what she under what name she was there or

Sidey: was. Snow White or something. I dunno. But right there it was fucking

Reegs: was. And they kiss and blah Finn the end.

Sidey: Yeah. We rattled through that pretty quick, didn't we?

Cris: Was

there some text at the end?

Reegs: Yeah, there was.

Cris: there was no, yeah. What did it say?

Reegs: Oh, it would've been good to, I think it was [00:50:00] about, wasn't it that Starling grad,

Sidey: think it was the stats about how many people died and

Reegs: I

think it was two months later. You know, they pushed them out.

Sidey: Yeah. good.

Reegs: I, yeah. So there's a historical, can we just deal with the historical

Sidey: But he's an accountant.

Reegs: None of this was like this at all. Even the Battle of Starling, they didn't do charges like that. There were no shooting of deserted men. The gun thing with the pick one up was a myth for this battle. The problem they did have is they ran out of ammunition, but that was

Sidey: yeah. I think obviously supplies

Reegs: Both sides

Sidey: I think the supplies in general were just, and it obviously it got pretty fucking chilly,

Reegs: but also the battles, and they were in very, the battle was for over meters. Yeah. Like, because they were both sides, like millions of men crammed into a tiny space. So the battle was fought, like whole battles of days were fought over a street.

Sidey: Yeah. And it's this, and you know, the, the Nazis doing this and, you know, the war on two fronts is what fucked them

Reegs: Mm-hmm.[00:51:00]

Sidey: probably if they had taken this. But the, the Russians kept them going for so, so long it, you know, massively affected their supply and all that sort of stuff. So, yeah. And vastly himself was not like some idiot farmer in this, that they portray him as like an illiterate.

And he was an accountant. He was well educated. He was,

Reegs: a propaganda story. All of it felt like it didn't it and there was no Kerig or Battle of two snipers except in his memoirs, which were completely unverified,

so,

Sidey: But it's still made for an entertaining movie.

Reegs: was a pretty good movie.

Cris: the movie was good. Yeah.

Reegs: I could have done without the love interest felt very forced and unnecessary,

Sidey: Who's got time in amongst all this to fucking, you know, I suppose maybe the people do

Cris: this is, I think, do you know what I read? I read quite a few books about the Second World War and some of them really accurate descriptions and all that. Some of them pretty much like this movie more, more like kind of Van Hassel type where condemn the war, the futility of it.

[00:52:00] You are going one way, you get shot, you get the other way you get shot. And this is, I, I dunno how accurate the de depiction of are you? But apparently that's what both sides did. If you run away, you get shot by your own people. That's, that was the bottom line. Especially after 1943.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Cris: There was, there was a decree, especially, and, and this is another one that apparently what people never speak is everybody speaks in terms of the Holocaust and what Hitler did with the concentration camps.

But nobody speaks about the Russians or, or not that many

Reegs: there's not that many they should do.

Yeah. I mean, it was

Cris: what I mean, because what people were saying is that when you get to Russia, they'll, you'll get captured and then you get sent to Siberia and

Reegs: but it was anyone, it was disabled people, it was homosexuals. It was anybody who wasn't,

Cris: which wasn't the way they wanted them to be.

But anyway, that's for a different time in a different story. I quite enjoyed this movie. Yeah. I didn't look at [00:53:00] the, at the facts. I don't, I didn't look at, oh, is

Reegs: doesn't really bother me because it's just you, you review the movie that it is and it's a war story. It's just, if you cared about Starling grad, this is clearly not a

Sidey: Yeah. And there are really good documentaries and Dramatizations of Starling grad. I think there's one just called s Starling grad.

Cris: Yeah. That you can watch and that's accurate.

Sidey: you how like fucking harrowing battlefield it

Cris: But this is a film, And as a film it's got at least three good

Reegs: It's tense and well made.

Sidey: I really liked sniper stuff as well.

Reegs: Yeah. Just didn't need the love interest. And also the editing sometimes was a bit all over the place, but it holds up like special effects wise pretty well. And it has this like washed out gray aesthetic that kind of works really well. And a James Horner score, I think.

Sidey: Horn Dog.

Reegs: Yeah. So yeah,

Sidey: I enjoyed it. Yeah. I enjoyed it.

Cris: How was the, do we have any facts, any, any

Sidey: What do you want? Like some obscure rifle stat or something? I don't have that.

No

Cris: do you know what, I was actually curious about the, because they do specifically say [00:54:00] about that gun model that he has at one point.

Reegs: Yes, there's a few because also Kerig himself has his own brand of weapon, which he takes as well.

But

Cris: okay.

Yeah. I didn't, I didn't read into it too much,

Reegs: I did read the the, a sniper, like when they get sniper consultants to look through it, they go, they would do it in the exact order that he did it in the sequence of events in that call. 'cause it's a great sequence. That bit where he takes out five guys

Cris: Yes.

Reegs: beginning, it's really good.

Sidey: Number Wang the budget fees was 68 million us.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Okay. What year was this? 2000. 2001. One. Okay.

Sidey: And it made 97, let's call it a hundred. So decent,

Cris: bad. Yeah. Yeah.

What happened to the fines? Is that related to the other fines? Yeah. And is this the brother

to Ralph?

Sidey: Rachel Vice went on to start in the English patient with his brother.

Reegs: Yeah, that's right. Yeah.

Sidey: Brother stats. Okay. And she went immediately from this into the Mummy returns, and I can't overstate how hot she is in that film.

Cris: Definitely hotter than this, but she [00:55:00] doesn't have sex with, in her, in a dungeon

Sidey: You see her bottom.

Reegs: You do see her bottom. It's a weird scene. Is it?

There's, I mean, I guess it must have happened, but it just felt a bit unnecessary in this movie.

Sidey: Yeah. This is a strong recommend, I would say.

Cris: Yes. Yeah. Strong.

Reegs: Best of the gate content this week

Sidey: or, well, we'll find out.

'cause we've still got the kids things to go. Who knows? And that could go anyway.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Stargate Infinity. Yeah. This is my first introduction into the world of Stargate. it? Yeah.

Reegs: never seen any of the

Sidey: or any of the TV spinoffs

Reegs: Okay. Alright.

Sidey: Right. So I don't know if you need to know any of that stuff

Reegs: This bears no

Sidey: other than that.

There's a Stargate, which I guess is just a travel portally thing.

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: Right. Yeah. Okay. I figured that

Reegs: would hate Stargate Chris.

Cris: I have not. I have to come confess, I have not watched this and apparently

Reegs: it's for the best. Yeah, it's for the best.

Sidey: So the, I I watch this on YouTube and it goes what's it?

Media res straight

into

Reegs: isn't it? It's straight

Sidey: into like [00:56:00] stuff happening. Yeah. And I was thinking, oh, is this. Yeah. Is this something been cut off or not? And then No, because the, then you get the theme music. but I'm not gonna put it in 'cause it's not worth it. No. It's, if you could get chat GPT to write some generic theme music about heroes doing stuff, this, that

Cris: that would be it.

Sidey: This is what it was spit out. It's really boring.

Reegs: One of those that helpfully like describes the plot of what's happening through the th 30

Sidey: Hero's doing stuff. Yeah, exactly.

Reegs: Yeah. They've got in trouble now they've gotta find them McGuffin, that kind of thing. Yeah. Okay.

Sidey: So it's a, it's a team of people who are I believe this is set 30 years after the original movie.

Yes. They are.

I think quantum

Reegs: it looks a world apart because they're wearing like futuristic armor. They've got, the aesthetic is kind of like X-Men mixed with GI Joe mixed with

Sidey: really cheap shit animation.

Reegs: Yeah. Really badly edited as well. [00:57:00] Yeah,

Sidey: So they, they're kind of port porting around doing stuff and they, there's, they're on a training thing and the colonel is telling them, well, sometimes when you've got two decisions you just have to take one because the guy just bowls it.

And he's like, well, neither option was good. He is like, well, sometimes you just gotta fucking go with one and, and see how you go on. Wonder if that'll play out

Reegs: I wonder if they'll repeatedly bash us over their head with some kind of moralizing that it's not really very clear what they're saying, but they'll do it over and

over. Also,

Sidey: the episode's called the decision and I couldn't work out which bit of the episode.

Cris: the decision

Sidey: the decision, what the decision

Reegs: Yeah.

It just seemed to be a series of events, but,

Sidey: there's a really fucking shameless, alien rip off. I mean, it's staggering. Yes.

Reegs: Emerging from a sarcophagus

Sidey: so they open a sarcophagus.

There's a mummy in there, but it's, they're like, oh, it's a, a statue. But then this chest burster, literally exactly the same how it happens. Alien bursts out and looks at them and, and runs off. But it might be a friendly alien.

Reegs: dunno. Yeah, maybe. Who knows?

Sidey: because there's an [00:58:00] empath, like a Jan Troy. It's like, I think it's just scared.

Reegs: Meanwhile, the guy who was handing out the heavy handed message at the beginning, that's turned out to be major Gus Boer or something. Bonner

Sidey: Bonner. Hello. He's getting court martialed. Isn't he mean a

Reegs: being court martialed. Yeah. There's video evidence of him committing war crimes, I think, or being a coward and making decisions and shit.

And he's like, no, it wasn't me. It was all ai. Elon Musk did it. And, and so then he is court martialed and he's stripped of his duties and authority and told to stay at Stargate Command headquarters until in like, 'cause he's got this impeccable service record. They're not gonna execute him on the spot, but

Sidey: should do They should do. Yeah. Maybe that was the decision. Maybe they had a decision to make something, something about Clint Flagons.

Reegs: No t clack. Ka,

Sidey: Yeah. An alien species that does stuff. They're after the alien chest burster and they just fight. They're just like generic alien looking things.

They do some fighting

Reegs: There's like this empa, [00:59:00] the group gets sort of split, doesn't it?

And they boner, major boner goes off with the, the cadets that were there from the beginning. And this like weird empath, like the things thrashing around. I sense your angry type vibes, you know, that sort of

Sidey: thing.

Reegs: She's got empathic abilities to tell you what you can clearly see. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. That 'cause she is the one who said, I think it's friendly. No, she says, I think it's just scared. And then there's this hideous generic robot creature that puts a Yeah, like a mug over it like you would do with a spider. Yeah. And then the things appear and fight and there's a happily, there's a stargate there.

It also has this annoying thing of doing a Stargate, like, like clock. And then it faces out, out the screen every time they switch from one scene to another. Okay. Just looks really shit. Yeah. So it culminates with some sort of battle where everyone's there.

Reegs: It turns out there's a bad guy, Grimes, who's turns out to be a shape shifting something or other. He was the one who actually set up [01:00:00] major boner in a first place.

Sidey: I watched this. Without even second screening it and still didn't pick up on that.

Reegs: Really? He he's like literally twirling his mustache at one point? I think so. Yeah. Major Boner has in fact been set up and then something, something more fighting and now we've gotta go across the galaxy from Stargate to Stargate.

Sidey: They're gonna go through the Stargate to skate this battle. Yeah. And someone says to major boner well they'll just follow us through the Stargate and he's like, not this time. 'cause he got a explosive device, which used to blow up the Stargate portal controller. But some,

some high jinx will I'm sure happen in episode two.

'cause we watched season one, episode one. Yeah. They, I'm sorry to say this, but there is only one season 'cause it

Reegs: they never made it home. This, the plot was unresolved.

Sidey: Good.

Yeah, because it does have a whiff of like sort of quantum leaping around.

Yeah. This looks shit. I mean it,

oh,

Reegs: it's, this is so bad Chris. It looks terrible. It's like a rip off of all of its influences.

Like, except it seems [01:01:00] like the people who wrote this never ever actually watched anything to do with Stargate whatsoever. So, 'cause it just feels like a bit of Star Trek, a bit of X-Men, a bit of Alien, a bit of like all these other franchise toy ified mysteriously to the nth degree as well, even though they didn't make any toys of it. But it is all like action figures and

Sidey: stuff. Yeah. Yeah. All the vehicles. I was think bet there was a toy of that. I bet they planned to have a toy of that. Yeah. But had really shit ratings. No one was really watching it. I think it adds on Fox Kids.

Reegs: The plotting was dense and confusing. The characters are simple like archetypes.

There's no nuance or anything interesting.

Cris: So just boring shit.

Reegs: well, the people who made it as well, it was fucked over basically by a combination of kind of executive meddling and idiot writers who, who did it, but they were forced to shoehorn all these like, social messages into it and it just backfired. Nobody liked it.

And it's shit. That's why. So I, it's rare for me to like, just say something is unequivocally bad, but this

Sidey: yeah,

it is [01:02:00] bad. There's no, there's nothing there's no redeeming features here. It's too, it's long. It's 25 minutes. It's painful. And it's not worth 25 minutes where it's two episodes together.

This is one

Cris: one, long one.

Sidey: And it, it is in no way, shape or form good enough to sustain it in 25 minute runtime. That's without ads. That's like, it's all, all

Cris: full 25

Sidey: dense.

Reegs: If it was the shitty copy that I watched, but the sound design seemed absolutely anemic as well.

I

Sidey: Yeah, I mean, that's the least of its worries really.

It's one of those, you know. Probably a lot of kids things when you look back at 'em, were not that great. Yeah. But they were not as bad as this.

Reegs: I doubt this. We'll find even at like, and it's non cannon as well and I think it breaks a load of like fundamental rules because I think Stargate does actually have a very active

Sidey: I used to work with a fellow called Carl who was super into Stargate.

All the difference, I dunno if you like that, bothered about the film, but he loved all the

Reegs: There's loads of TV series,

Sidey: Atlantis games,

Reegs: as well. Tabletop games and

Sidey: Yeah.

I've

Cris: I, I've never got into [01:03:00] the series. They used to be on the telly all the time, but they were, they were one of them that, I dunno how it was in the uk but the four o'clock slot is generally for like pretty shit TV really.

And the Stargate was always the four o'clock one four or four 30. And

it was like, if you

Sidey: the different ones? Stargate, Atlantis, Stargate.

other

Reegs: SG one,

Sidey: SD one was one. Yeah. And then there's another

Cris: Galactica or something?

Sidey: No, Battlestar Act. That's,

Cris: oh,

Reegs: that's quite

Sidey: Real good. Yeah. Not that I, I couldn't comment on the actual TV series of

Reegs: I think Dan's a bit of a fan of Stargate.

Sidey: never seen the films. James Spade, isn't it in the Is it good? The

Reegs: I remember liking it and it having good special effects. Probably terrible now

Sidey: Baldwin, is it Baldwin in it? Do I remember that? Rightly dunno. I don't.

Cris: I dunno. I dunno. I do remember them, but I don't,

Sidey: it never that, that will probably warrants further investigation.

But the tv the cartoon, absolutely

Cris: Yeah. Ignore, avoid

Sidey: that. This is like one of the, one of the worst that we've [01:04:00] seen in, in 501 episodes.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: So strong Recommend.

Reegs: Recommend,

Sidey: Strong Recommend. Strong Recommend. Yeah.

Right next week I think we're going to, 'cause we're all

Reegs: are gonna go funny for a few weeks, aren't

Sidey: gonna be, at least I have to plan this out, but we we're gonna need to get some sort of short form episodes ready for when we're all away gallivanting around Europe. So some sort of norms, collective norms, maybe even some listener norms, suggestions, listener suggestions. Yeah, we could do that. But we'll figure that out.

But all that remains for now is to say sidey signing out

Cris: a lot.

Reegs: Riggs has left the building.