Midweek Mention... Abigail

SPEAKER_00 0:12

Abigail. Yeah, which I've only realized while I was speaking to Kira about it that it's actually made out of two names, Abby and Gail. A portmanteau. Or the name Abigail. Well, yeah, I know, but it's you know. I think Abby is short for Abigail, isn't it? Yes, I know it is.

SPEAKER_02 0:29

Gail Porter.

SPEAKER_04 0:30

Um this was just the kind of film that I would avoid at all costs. This would be Yeah, but look at the fucking front of it.

SPEAKER_03 0:40

I'm glad you said that because it's the biggest problem with this movie is how they've marketed it and advertised.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

Well there's no surprise, is there? No. Once you've seen once you select it on the screen, you know that she's a vampire. You know she's a vampire straight away because the picture is of her demonic face.

SPEAKER_03 0:54

So I suppose it the marketing angle may have been okay, you know this, but the characters don't know this. They think they're in one type of movie, a quippy, heist type movie, but actually they're in a quippy colored movie.

SPEAKER_04 1:07

I'm I think I didn't know it was a vampire.

SPEAKER_02 1:11

Oh yeah, I didn't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:12

Netflix movie. No, this is a universal joint. It was actually of the right, you remember they did The Mummy with Tom Cruise, and they were gonna do this dark universe thing spin-off of all the Universal Legends. They shelved that after one movie because it fucking fell apart and it was a stinker. But they still carried on releasing Universal, some of their monster classic things, like in The Invisible Man, which was pretty good with Moss. Yes. And Renfield, which was the largely unsuccessful Nicholas Holt one, Nicolas Cage. Yeah. So this was originally titled Dracula's Daughter.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

But I really would have given it away.

SPEAKER_03 1:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 1:51

Part of that series, but I thought this might have been like the omen or the ring or something. You know, like a demonic child who so I wasn't sure going into it, but I saw the the poster for the movie and thought and I'd seen this before and skip, skip, skip because there's no way that I'm gonna watch something so scary. That kind I'm not signing up for that kind of voluntarily. So it needed to be watched during daylight hours.

SPEAKER_02 2:21

Yeah, but it does sort of set you up on a on a different path from the from the outset. Yeah, it's a heist movie. It is very much a big note plot.

SPEAKER_03 2:29

Yeah, it starts with Swan Lake. Yes, a banner, yeah. A pair of toes, and then it pants out of a girl of about eleven or twelve, the titular Abigail, she's performing Swan Lake alone on a vast stage. I know you guys all know this, but she was actually dancing on point, which is not what you would get young dancers to do because it would hurt their feet, but it's maybe the first clue because she's not as young as a foreshadowing.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Yeah. Um How do you think Timothy Chalamet would have thought about this ballet? He's not into ballet. He doesn't like ballet, does he?

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Tchaikovsky, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 3:05

I think so.

SPEAKER_03 3:06

Yes. So yeah, title comes up, and then we get cut to the assembling of a crew. Yeah. We've got a goth girl, she looked like a junkie, like sucking on that lollipop from MOD. Melissa Barrera. Binned off the Scream franchise for voicing her support for Palestine. That's her story. She is she climbs into a black SUV that's got Dan Stevens in, who I just fucking love. That guy. I think he's absolutely brilliant.

SPEAKER_02 3:32

The great big dude.

SPEAKER_03 3:32

No.

SPEAKER_02 3:33

Oh, the but was a real arsehole.

SPEAKER_03 3:34

Yeah. Yeah. He plays Frank the Cop. Yeah. I think he's brilliant. I really like him. Where's what's he been in before? The guest is one that I really liked. He was in the most recent King Kong film, I think. But he's been in loads of stuff. Yeah. And the other guy's the character is Peter, Kevin Durand. The big guy. The big guy.

SPEAKER_04 3:53

Yeah, I like him actually.

SPEAKER_03 3:55

That's his natural accent that he's talking in in this movie. So he's from actually from Quebec. Okay. Where the character was.

SPEAKER_04 4:02

I've seen I think he was in Mystery Alaska as one of the big units of Russell Crowe's in Russell Crowe's team playing ice hockey. Yeah, I think we did, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 4:15

He was in the TV series The Strain, if anybody ever watched that, which was a similar vampire. But I liked it.

SPEAKER_02 4:20

I liked him in this.

SPEAKER_03 4:21

Yeah. So the girl goes in, she's got two fully loaded syringes, which she shows to the other guys. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 4:27

They don't know necessarily all of them, do they, that they're taking a girl.

SPEAKER_00 4:30

No, they don't know at all. And there's another van with the that idiot and the hacker girl.

SPEAKER_03 4:36

Angus Cloud, who's well, he just plays a really drugged out guy and obviously died of an overdose. Oh, did he? Yeah, during the filming of what after uh the filming of this and three other movies. So I think what you're watching is a fairly literal portrayal of what he was like. Yikes. Yeah. And the other one is somebody else. The black guy, no?

SPEAKER_00 4:58

Well, you know, the the girl, and she's really good as well.

SPEAKER_03 5:01

The hacker girl.

SPEAKER_02 5:03

Sammy's. Catherine Newton. Sammy's. Yeah, Catherine Newton.

SPEAKER_04 5:05

Where have we s where have we seen the the guy who is putting all together? Is it Palmer? Leighton or whatever. Lambert. Giancarlo Esposito. Yeah, Giancarlo Esposito.

SPEAKER_02 5:15

Breaking Bad. Breaking Bad. He was Darth. The gentleman. I walked right next to him at Heathrow Turn of Five.

SPEAKER_04 5:23

He's walked next to you in G. Yeah, rather, sorry, yes, he walked.

SPEAKER_00 5:26

He's a very handsome man. Yeah. He's not that tall. No, but it's quite so.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

He was just walking around like a, you know, there was no entourage or nothing. It was absolutely definitely 100% him. Seemed like there was no pretension or anything. It was just nice.

SPEAKER_00 5:39

It's quite nice to see that, no.

SPEAKER_04 5:41

I saw Terry Wait in airport one. Did you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:44

I don't know who that is.

SPEAKER_04 5:46

He spent a large part of the 19th chapter off to a radio. It was a hostage. Oh, right. He went on a peace mission and they locked the water.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Well, there's gonna be a hostage in this film at some point as well, no? For sure. Well, who is the hostage is really the question, isn't it?

SPEAKER_03 6:02

So yeah, let's get to that. So that yeah, the there's the settings of a heist, the sniper covering, radio contact, getaway cars, all this sort of stuff, text messages saying Tiny Dancer is moving, and they mask up and they tail this limo that get the girl gets into by herself back to uh a house and nice gaff, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

Yeah. And the hacker does all the hacking and like turns off the alarms and opens the security doors and everything's like really clean and smooth until it kind of isn't.

SPEAKER_04 6:31

Well they they go through and they they're able to find this girl who puts up a bit of a fight actually, and they inject her, they put her in a black sack over her shoulder.

SPEAKER_03 6:44

Well, they're all hidden in her bedroom, aren't they? Yeah, she gets on the bed and then they're all like hidden behind the mirror, and she hears a floorboard creak that gives it away. And that's when they jump on her and that's right, yeah. And she stabs Dan Stevens through the hand quite viciously with a pencil.

SPEAKER_04 6:59

Yeah, she puts up a a bit of a fight, but she's obviously no match, she's just a little girl, and they You think they put her over the shoulder and take her into the car and take her to a new location.

SPEAKER_02 7:12

Someone's coming home just to this you know, they have to get out just as the other person, yeah, the dad or the father is.

SPEAKER_04 7:17

Yeah, the alarm bells are ringing or the time house come on, but the hacker is ob able to open the door.

SPEAKER_03 7:24

And instantly they show that some of them are uncomfortable with this, particularly Joey, who's like, hang on a minute, this is a child, we shouldn't be doing it. But anyway, so they take her off and they take her to Wilhelm Manor. It's like a creepy manor out in the middle of the yeah.

SPEAKER_04 7:39

And they're getting seven million dollars for twenty-four hours. They know that in 24 hours they're gonna all be seven million dollars each.

SPEAKER_03 7:47

They're told that by Giancarlo Esposito Lambert, the mastermind supposedly, who's brought them all together. He says they've got twenty-four if the hard part of the job is done, they've got twenty-four hours, they're gonna ransom the girl. No backstories, they don't tell each other their real names or any backstories, anything like that. Everybody walks away.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

He calls them each a name.

SPEAKER_03 8:05

He gives them the rat pack name, Frank. The others, Peter Joey Pixie. Joey, yeah, yeah, Sammy, all of it. So the girl is in a room by herself, and only Joey is supposed to talk to her. Like with a mask, the other boys and she only sees one masked face.

SPEAKER_04 8:25

And for the plot as well, Lambert makes sure to collect everybody's phone so there's no it takes about it takes about 15 minutes for that plan to go a little bit south because Joey goes into the girl's room and she's obviously a little bit softer on her and she's helping her with the handcuffs. The handcuffs, making them a bit looser. And the eye the blindfold, no. Yeah, she's also like a Sherlock Holmes figure when she gets downstairs. She's she knows just by the way that Frank Standin who used to be a cop and she called it.

SPEAKER_03 8:57

Well, Angus tries it first. His character tries it first. He tries to read everyone in the room and gets it horribly wrong. She like laughs at him, doesn't she? And then she's like, Yeah, I know that he's a cop. Or you still me, you do me, you do.

SPEAKER_04 9:08

You're a junkie.

SPEAKER_03 9:09

And then the last one, Semperfy, she just says to him.

SPEAKER_02 9:12

Yeah, no, she says to the hackers, You're already rich, but you're just doing it for kids. This is just the lol's. Is it is it when she goes in to see Abigail, Abigail actually says to her, Listen, they're gonna hurt I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_03 9:23

She says, I'm sorry about what's gonna happen to you.

SPEAKER_02 9:26

And she's like, So what?

SPEAKER_03 9:28

She's like, Who's your father?

SPEAKER_02 9:29

And we've seen the we've seen the cover art, so we know we know already, but they don't know.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

They're in the movie, they don't know. And it and it is the father, isn't it? And there's been a lot of suggestion, oh, who is the father? Who is this guy? They speculate, is he a tech billionaire, is he a banker? Is he awell it's fucking Kaiser Soso, isn't it?

SPEAKER_04 9:45

I mean And that's the conclusion they come to eventually, yeah. What is it, Lazar Bazaar or someone's gonna be able to do it?

SPEAKER_03 9:52

Well, but Frank goes in after he gets spooked out by all this, and f after she's gone out, he goes in, he doesn't realise that sh Abigail's had her blindfolded. Yeah, he goes mad about that. So he goes into the room and she's then obviously instantly saw seen her face. What colour are my eyes? He's going, put your face away, put your put your hand over your face and all this. So that's when he gets the name out of her, which is Christophe Lazar, and you're right, it is the film's Kaiser Sose, isn't it? Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 10:17

Yeah, he's the bad guy's bad guy. And when Frank comes out that room, he's ready to leave. He's like, I keep the money, split my money between you, I'm getting the fuck out of here. And Joey's saying, Well, wait a minute, what what have you said? What do you know? And as he says, Well, it's Lazar Bazaar, that's her dad, Kaiser Sose. A couple of them know the story and the legends, and a couple of them knows. Well, some of them are like, Oh, he doesn't exist, it doesn't exist, and yeah, he fucking does. This guy is the real deal. He's the real deal. He's like and the rich girl had never heard of him because it's not the circle she moves in. But she's not a crimp per se, she's here because of the skills for the lols. But then kind of Frank talks himself out of it really and says, Okay, look, 24 hours.

SPEAKER_03 11:08

They're just like it's one little girl. We've got twenty-two hours now. We can hunker down. We can hunker down and do this. So they resolve to sort of s secure the house and look round it, which is where she opens she opens up the thing so that moonlight spills out onto the thing, which will be important later. And then yeah, who? Rickles?

SPEAKER_00 11:27

Rinkles takes the top, looks outside just to kind of he's got the the sniper he's like.

SPEAKER_03 11:34

Yeah. So Dean, Angus Cloud's character, he goes off looking round the thing. I think he's already tried to get it on with Catherine Newton. He's got like the little flame and he surprises her in the dark, which doesn't go very well. And then he goes off to the kitchen to get some food, hears some noises. Isn't it a pantry? Goes in there, doesn't seem to be anything, but as he's rats, that's what he sees, you're right. And then as he turns to walk out, he's attacked by something off-screen very strong that pulls him along.

SPEAKER_04 12:02

And yeah, despite him holding on to the like the bottom of the stairs, he can't hold on. And this this um thing is has pulled him. And the next time we see the rich girl going downstairs because she's heard a noise after watching TV, and she goes at exactly the same experience, goes into the pantry, thinks she hears a sound, gets a bit spooked, goes upstairs, and there's the guy sat at his at the table, and she's going, Oh, what the fuck are you doing? You scared the shit out of me, and then his head just falls off.

SPEAKER_03 12:38

Yeah. And then Peter, Kevin Duran's character, comes in, he was accosted because he was asleep, and we'd seen Angus draw something on his face, but we didn't know what it was. So when he comes in, she's like, he's dead, and then he's got why have you got a dick on your face?

SPEAKER_04 12:51

He does yeah, he doesn't know. I don't understand how you know you've got 22 hours how they could be asleep. Like, you know, they've got I can do that.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

He was drunk. He was drunk, they had a lot of drinks because they had a bar of it.

SPEAKER_04 13:03

I'm like that on planes.

SPEAKER_03 13:03

As soon as you get on a plane, I was that's nice. Yeah, it's a good skill to have. Oh, draw a dick on your face next time. So now they've had this decapitated body, they become pretty convinced quite quickly that this is the work of Lazar's henchman. Yeah. This formidable enforcer called Valdez. And they talk about, you know, stories of like limbs being hacked off and mutilated bodies being found and all sorts of shit. So they're pretty sure that Valdez in is in the house, and you're sitting there thinking, For fuck's sake, can we please now pay off the gag because we've had it up?

SPEAKER_02 13:34

Oh, there's still one more good line about it. Yeah. And someone So they they they go into the room, don't they? Like, because we need to see her, like, in full effect.

SPEAKER_03 13:43

Yeah. And they all they get locked in first, don't they? The shutters come down. Yeah. Most of them are like, fuck this, I'm out of here. The the Rickles is like seven million's not worth it, I'm getting out of here. And then find that they can't get out.

SPEAKER_05 13:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:56

So they they do go into the room, and basically she reveals herself to be this fucking vampire demon, you know, jumping around over the place in the mouth.

SPEAKER_03 14:05

She kills Rickles first. Because then they go off to look for this Lazar guy, don't they? Because it's literally she's behind him, like, right, I'll go see you in a minute, and then you just hear this noise, and she looks back and he's just stood there with his back to the camera. When she goes to see him, he's had his throat slashed horribly.

SPEAKER_02 14:19

Is it Frank who actually shoots her first?

SPEAKER_00 14:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:21

And they said they go, Oh, someone says about Valdez. Like, she's fucking Valdez, yeah. What do you mean?

SPEAKER_04 14:27

Like, she she wipes the bullet just off her head, doesn't she?

SPEAKER_03 14:32

Kind of the Well, first of first of all, Frank goes, he leads the charge of Abigail's it, so we're gonna go and get her, and everyone's a bit like, but this is a 12-year-old girl, and Peter, Kevin Durant's like, nah, I'll fucking do it. He's like well up for a battle room. He's a man who enjoys his work, basically. And then that's when Joey pulls a gun, it's kind of like a Mexican standoff, isn't it? Until Abigail She sl slides off the handcuffs, like sort of almost breaks her wrist as a deal.

SPEAKER_04 14:58

Yeah, and then just attacks them really viciously. And Rich Girl's just kind of looking at all this unfold and she's saying, What the fuck, what the fuck? And then that's it. She's she's got the full demon teeth, the eyes, the you know, we realise now that she isn't, you know, she's like any other young girl, she's just gonna suck the blood right out of you and gonna take everything for you.

SPEAKER_03 15:23

But the film plays it as a big shock, doesn't it? Yeah. Like a big reveal. Yeah. Even though you've been waiting for it to happen.

SPEAKER_04 15:29

For me, it kind of was a bit of a reveal because I didn't hang around looking into I just this was a film I needed to get out of the way, and I was just like, right, common and it's starting, and I was just And actually, you know, early scenes with the girl, when they're played straight, when you're watching like four big men rough up a 12-year-old girl, and it looks a bit convincing. So I watched it like disturbing to some point, but I had seen obviously the the picture in she's got blood dripping from her teeth from the from the like you said, she gets shot in the head here, her brains go out everywhere, all over the wall.

SPEAKER_03 16:01

And that's when they're like, We've got a vampire, it's definitely a vampire, a ballerina vampire. And they go off to they're like, right, let's go and get holy water and start going through all the tropes of garlic when she comes back. Those are fucking onions. It's making me laugh so much.

SPEAKER_02 16:17

Uh they get is it porkins or a billion?

SPEAKER_04 16:21

I don't know, I don't cook. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:23

So yeah, they they've got all the kind of staples.

SPEAKER_03 16:26

One of them is So they go to try and find her, don't they? And they go up to the rim and it's empty, and then they can hear the music as she goes in and she's just on stage, like in a full ballerina outfit, with Angus's like decapitated corpse, just dancing with it on stage. Quite good, though, Peter like. And then she kind of notices that they're all there and just they throw some holy water on her and she laughs, and the guy like throws like shows her the crucifix, and she's like, What does she do with that?

SPEAKER_01 16:52

She stabs it tiny. It's a little necklace one. She just like fucking stabs Peter Peter like a million times.

SPEAKER_04 16:58

She's like garlic and just like loves it. Yeah. She's just like, What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 17:02

You this is absolutely Is this a bit where they actually do crack a window or they she sma Joey smashes through a pane of wood and gets the moonlight and it takes her hand off? Is this that? No, that's a bit later.

SPEAKER_04 17:14

But they ma they manage to kind of fight her off, and even the guy who's been stabbed a million times with his own little mini crucifix, he's okay. But he's wounded, but everyone's being wounded.

SPEAKER_03 17:23

Doesn't Frank get away. They all come through the leg.

SPEAKER_04 17:25

Yeah, yeah. They all kind of you know come out the room and just like fuck, we're getting absolutely bad.

SPEAKER_02 17:31

They keep thinking they've got her trapped. Yeah. So I think first of all, it's behind a door which she smashes through. And there's that wooden uh the metal kind of elevator thing. Yeah, yeah. And they think that she's and you're like, no, Dick Edge.

SPEAKER_04 17:42

She's just gonna Well Joey at that point had said, Look, you're talking, you don't know anything, like what you're gonna do is not gonna work, but Frank's taking control, and they go up and they do, they kind of reconvene outside the room and go, Well that well the fuck, and she came down like I told you so, as Frank's got sort of you know, a forecue for his leg, and she pulls it out and starts to fix it up a little bit, and she says, I've got the only thing we know that's worked is this injection. Yeah, we need to get the injection in her. And then eventually, after you know, another big fucking fight scene.

SPEAKER_03 18:17

Well, it's more like you establish, oh right, this is actually for Abigail to hunt. This is but she's like a cat with some mice, basically. Yeah, they've been they've been trapped. So you see a mural, there's a mural that depicts this kind of happening over time, and there's also the pool. Yeah, she falls in that swimming pool that's just full of liquefying.

SPEAKER_04 18:36

Yeah, she says she says, you know, I I'm sorry, I like to play with my food. Yeah, and you know, they are the food. She's taking houses and she this does work though, this injection, and they're able to they lock her in a cage. They lock her in a cage.

SPEAKER_02 18:51

I mean, but when Sammy because this is like the most, I think, disgusting bit of the film. When Sammy falls in that pool and she's screaming and she's looking around, and there's loads of bodies, and she when she manages to crawl out and looks back, there must be like a hundred plus bodies. Yeah, there's a decommodation. How many are there?

SPEAKER_04 19:08

Two, three?

SPEAKER_00 19:09

And limbs, and limbs and all sorts of things.

SPEAKER_03 19:11

Imagine the stencil decomposing endless, yeah. So yeah, they've got her in that elevator case. And this is when she starts telling I'm 200 years old.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

And not only that, that's when she tells them who they really are. You're Peter, whatever, you're a police officer, you used to work for my dad, but you were corrupt, then you didn't really do it, then you're you used to be this, but you became a junkie, then you used to be like everyone basically betrayed her and her dad's organization.

SPEAKER_03 19:41

So it it turns out it was all about her dad, after all, but not in the way that you thought that she'd convened all of these people here who had wronged her father and his criminal organisation in some way. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 19:51

To earn his approval, basically, to kill them. Dad's doesn't problem time. Basically. Yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_00 19:58

Yeah. Daddy issues. Some people suck dick for daddy issues, some of them kill other people.

SPEAKER_03 20:04

She starts saying, Oh, like, if you let the door open, I'll let you live and I'll kill her. Yeah. And like, some of them are up for it, that sort of thing.

SPEAKER_00 20:10

Well, Peter's up for it, no.

SPEAKER_03 20:12

But then it doesn't play out like that, and in the end, she just ends up punching the front off because she can't be bothered.

SPEAKER_02 20:17

I think Frank gets close to it, isn't he?

SPEAKER_04 20:19

And she just smashes it in the room. He goes back again on a deal. She says, Look, let me out and I'll let you live. Yeah. And he goes, You tell me how to get out first. And she says, Look, there's a there's a book, an Agatha Christie book. Pull that back, and the secret door will kind of and he's going, You fucking freak, like I'm not gonna let you out. And she just uses her superpower. Yeah. And you realise that it might as well just been twigs in front of her because that she's just toying with them all.

SPEAKER_03 20:50

This is where we do find this is where the hands are. She actually flies in this sign, isn't she? She can fly, yeah. She's trying to fly. She's flying!

SPEAKER_04 20:58

Um yeah, Frank does get into the library where he finds the book and he pulls it back and he looks back at everybody like I've fucking found the way out, and it's just a bullshit lie. There's nothing to do, nothing to do with any of it.

SPEAKER_03 21:14

Also, at this point, Sammy has been turned. She's been bitten by Abigail and turned a vampire, which should be revealed to one of the other characters. Yeah, the big guy.

SPEAKER_00 21:26

Peter. Yeah, the big guy, yeah. He he's he quite fancies her as well.

SPEAKER_04 21:30

Well they they go off in twos together to go and search the house for the There's a bit where Abigail's kind of puppeteering her almost like remotely as she dances.

SPEAKER_03 21:40

So anyway, it then descends basically into like a load of set pieces when the film didn't really know how to end, obviously. Well, didn't want to end. Yeah, didn't want to end, agreed. First of all, we've got to have a little like misdirection with Lambert.

SPEAKER_02 21:54

Well, yeah, so like, oh, we've forgotten that Jan Carl like the film has forgotten that like Lambert was there. So it turns out that He's been there all along. He's been a vampire and he's sort of helps to engineer these misdirection to get people he draws people to the mansion for her to feast on.

SPEAKER_03 22:13

Yeah. But basically Lambert stars screams Abigail, like cuts her up, and then gets star screamed by Frank, who it gets turned into a vampire and loves being a vampire. He's a he's a funny.

SPEAKER_04 22:26

Well he gets the option, doesn't he? Frank is like He says, fuck it, bite me. He goes, Me and you will take down Lazar together, we'll rule this fucking town. Yeah. Because being a vampire is fucking great, actually. If he doesn't know, I can't do it. I can't do it on my own. But with me and you, we could probably take down the top boss and then we can be boss in everybody because and Frank's like goes, Yeah, fuck it, alright, bite me. And drinks his own.

SPEAKER_02 22:55

But it has been revealed that sunlight is what is the real killer. Yeah. Because she's every girl's had her hand in the sunlight, immediately explodes. Yeah. It's really important. And then we get to see grow back. It's quite grim that day, actually.

SPEAKER_04 23:08

It's reassuring to have that sunlight just fall in the case.

SPEAKER_03 23:15

It was reassuring that this was all taking place at night, but there was a huge But anyway, let's not think about that too much. Because is it is Lambert does he get Lambert gets killed almost instantly by Frank. He gets speared. He gets a steak, doesn't he? Yeah. So that still works.

SPEAKER_02 23:32

Garlic, holy water, stuff like that doesn't work. No. Crucifixion. Steaks works and sunlight works. Sunlight, yeah. And then when they get killed, it's like buffy, but the the effects are better. Oh, actually, shout out to Anthony Stewart and they properly explode and like everywhere, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:47

Yeah, bubbly flesh everywhere.

SPEAKER_03 23:49

So we now are sort of mad on power. Frank decides to convert Joey against her will to be a vampire. Surprised by that bit. Shoves a poker through her, but and he bites her, but he's too young to turn her into it. We don't know that. We don't know that at this point, you know. And after she's been bitten, she goes off to phone her son because there's been a thing about She didn't look old enough to tell us. Well, I think it was complicated her life. She had a s she was an absent mother, which is not really something you often hear about.

SPEAKER_04 24:18

She was an absent mother, worked in the army, got injured, got hooked on morphine, and then became a more absent mother, I guess. And she's trying to make it up with her son. And we go into a big kind of library room for the end of the the film and the big final boss fight.

SPEAKER_03 24:41

She pretends to be turned, doesn't she? Well being Frank.

SPEAKER_04 24:46

And and her and Abigail end up teaming up together to beat Frank.

SPEAKER_03 24:53

Yeah. And they ram a stake home and he gives a he says, Oh, f he nearly gets an expletive out and then he just explodes into like a billion pieces.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

Who got done with the silver tray? To reflect the sunlight.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

The blonde girl when she was. Oh Catherine Newton, yeah. That was a good one, wasn't it?

SPEAKER_02 25:10

With the tray, yeah. They just turned the deflected the sunlight. And then Abigail says, Yeah, the thing about the powers is you know, doesn't they straight away? He was too young to be able to turn you because you think, oh god, she's a vampire now, but she's not really. She's not vampire.

SPEAKER_04 25:23

But then Bob Lazar Bazaar turns up.

SPEAKER_03 25:26

Kaiser Soto himself. And the way this is shot, it like pans up from the floor, and you're like, oh my god, who's it gonna be? Anthony Hopkins or like some massive legend. Oh, it's Matthew Good. Right, okay, yeah, I kind of liked you in Watchmen. Oh, and now I've done some So is Eyosa Mandez. Yeah. Right. And also now I've done some research. You were in a small short-lived vampire TV series in 2013, so but I don't know, it just pans up as if we're supposed to be like but it's just some guy. And he then he's just really dismissive to Abigail.

SPEAKER_00 25:59

And they let they let Sammy go. Well, he wants to kill Sammy first, and then Abigail kind of stands.

SPEAKER_04 26:03

She steps in and he goes, She was there, like you weren't there the whole time. Yeah. And he gives her a big kind of licky kiss. Because it's absolutely covered. She's drenched in blood.

SPEAKER_00 26:16

And he's like, I can smell the blood in yours.

SPEAKER_04 26:18

You better get out of here now then. He lets her live just because to his daughter. And and she kind of limp, walks outside, gets into the the the the car that looks something out Scooby-Doo.

SPEAKER_03 26:34

And and she says that I think probably the only thing he would say, which is what the fuck? Yeah in the film ends.

SPEAKER_00 26:40

Well no, she finds the lollipop. Yes, she's like one last sucky sucky. Yeah. One last sucky sucky, and then we have to do it.

SPEAKER_04 26:47

And and it goes as she she escapes into the night and and it was actually quite good fun.

SPEAKER_02 26:56

Yeah. You don't uh like don't think about it too much. Yeah. No, well not because it's vampires, because sometimes it just doesn't make sense.

SPEAKER_04 27:03

Well it's silly rather than scary. It wasn't like you know stuff.

SPEAKER_03 27:07

It wasn't psychologically scary. I think it was the obvious point of comparison is um from Dust Il Dawn. Yeah. Yeah. But that one was like a legitimate Tarantino grim crime movie at the beginning, and takes a very big tonal leap into its Mad Cat finale. This one, it's like MCU style heist movie and then MCU style vampire movie. The tonal leap is not so big, but it's still good fun because it's well made and uh It's funny seeing a kid like kill the baddies.

SPEAKER_04 27:39

She's amazing and she's like, She was brilliant, and the the kind of rap pack themselves were decent as well. I like the characters in there. I like you know, it wasn't a long movie, I think came in about an hour and a half.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

Yeah. It was a little bit longer than that. And I really felt that the ending dragged itself out, that it went on and on and it didn't lead to the minutes of that. And they got it stuck in a thing because the the the directors who made this, they're a team that uh call themselves Radio Silence, I've got their name somewhere. They did the movie Ready or Not with Samara Weaving. And they pay homages to their own film in this one of that one. I'm like, come on, man, you've got about three or four films under your belt, you can't be doing that.

SPEAKER_02 28:18

I suppose I don't know, I didn't expect them to turn you know, the the end boss fight to be one of the crew, but I suppose even though she was a vampire, they still couldn't have them killing a kid. Or they didn't want it to play out like that. Right, yeah. Because it's still a kid.

SPEAKER_04 28:35

So she was still a hundred years old, so Yeah Yeah, and she she she learned a lot about being a vampire where you know they would say, You don't know what the fuck, you don't know how to do all the cool shit. You gotta be around a little while before you perfect.

SPEAKER_02 28:47

It's quite fun when they're playing around with the law of but they probably didn't do it enough. But I enjoyed it.

SPEAKER_04 28:52

It was it was enough for me. I you know, I it wasn't maybe for the vampire purist, then if there's lots of different kind of laws of vampiring and vampires, but I thought this was a a a pretty funny kind of twist on on it, and there was it was funny as well. There was lots of humour in it. It didn't take it to itself too seriously. It was if I'd have known it was this kind of film, I'd have probably enjoyed it a lot more from the beginning. But I was You're waiting to be scared. I was waiting to be scared, and I was waiting for it to take more of a a dark turn, like you know, we've seen in the Omen or Well, because there's quite a lot of gore, but it's always in service of a laugh. Yeah. And and they explode, and you know, it's it's not um and there's not too many kind of jump scares stuff like that. It's more you could see it and blood and gore and things like that, which I'm actually not too our our gore, yeah. I'm not too bad with.

SPEAKER_00 29:50

What do you think, Chris? It was a bit of a waste of time for me, this I understand why they made it and how the and and I I kind of agree to your point, but it was definitely too long. And even the funny, like that with the onions, I did not find that funny. I knew that he was gonna say that, I knew exactly as soon as she came with that, I was just like that's not funny. And and half of the things that they try to be funny with, even the guy after the second time that they call him stupid, I was just like, Alright, this is an expired joke now, you can leave it alone. Like, oh he's a bully, he's stupid. It's not funny. I don't know, I it just didn't it didn't end. Where does it wanna be? Does he want to be a a funny vampire movie? It's not that funny. Is it uh a really horror film? Well, it's not that much horror. Is it a suspense thriller thing? Well, it's not really much in it. So it's kind of like in the middle of all these genres to to try to be all these and to be honest, I don't want to be a dick, but that guy with the the police cop Frank, I think he's a dick. I don't know. His character was a dick.

SPEAKER_03 30:57

Dan Stevens is a great actor. Honestly, I've Have you seen the thing with him on Good Morning Britain or whatever it is with Susanna Reed? And she's like, Oh, I heard you had to beat off a lot of men for that role, and he just starts like creasing with laughter and she doesn't get it and pushes it even again, and he's trying not to like I have seen that, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:14

Yeah. So anyway, that's that's my take. Look, it if it would have been an hour and 20 minutes and just a bit of a of a bit of a more breeze and not so much towards the end, what I get I bite you, you bite me, there's another one bites the other one. It could be got a bit messy by this. They didn't even have to bring the father out. Yeah, they could have-stopped it before the father comes, and Abigail could have been like, right, you go, my father's gonna come, don't see the father, don't pay Matthew good, we're all fine.

SPEAKER_04 31:41

I I wonder if there's a part around redemption in parenting and things like that, because she is going to go and see her long-lost son, and he is going to see. Joey is the only good thing in this film.

SPEAKER_00 31:56

Honestly, all I could do is I was watching with Kira and all I could do is watching her like her tits because she had a massive cleavage. And all I was I was like, this is good, this is the only good thing. Guilty, guilty as charged.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

Budget for it was 28 million US. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:07

What do you reckon?

SPEAKER_03 32:08

When I I th I th I think it's difficult to market.

SPEAKER_02 32:12

Any other takers? When are we going to be able to do that? I reckon there's enough. I reckon there's enough market money back.

SPEAKER_04 32:17

Chris is pretty close. My 43, just over 43 million. Uh just because I know that people like this kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_03 32:24

Yeah, it's along for the person who comes across this, like I don't even know if this happens anymore, but late night on TV, they've never seen it, they tune in at the beginning, they don't know what it is.

SPEAKER_02 32:35

Yeah, it's like it doesn't give away that she's a fucking vampire. I know.

SPEAKER_05 32:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:41

How many theatres do you think it opened to? Ooh, I'm gonna say ten. No.

SPEAKER_04 32:45

Six?

SPEAKER_02 32:46

No.

SPEAKER_04 32:47

Five hundred. Getting closer. No, it's more than that. Oh, is it more? 1,200. 666. No, that would have been good.

SPEAKER_02 32:56

3,384.

SPEAKER_04 32:58

Wow.

SPEAKER_02 32:58

What a stats. That would have been the next guest. So overall, I would have to say that it is a strong recommend. Yes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

Yeah, I would definitely strong recommend this.