Murderbot & Ridley Jones

Murderbot

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review another hour or so of four broken men pretending their opinions matter while slowly descending into alcoholism and despair. Perhaps inspired by the number of people currently listening to the podcast. Dan starts us off this week with a chat about the top five ones.

What's a one I hear you ask? Well, it could include anything from films or names to the number of brain cells we have left between us or however many inches Sidey is working with these days. Your guess is as good as mine. For our main feature, we are ditching the multiplex entirely in favor of the small screen as we take a look at Apple TV's murder bot starring Alexander Scars guard as a socially anxious security Android who acquires autonomy and discovers that it would rather exercise.

Its newfound freedom by binge watching TV than doing its job. Finally, representation for the neurodivergent community that isn't just quirky, genius solves crimes or complicated medical problems. And for our kids TV section Dan Sadistically inflicted a double episode of [00:01:00] Netflix's Ridley Jones Upon us a show so aggressively diverse and educational.

It makes me nostalgic for the casual racism and forceful consumerism of 1980s cartoons. A fair warning. We do sometimes swear a lot here and we've spoiled more endings than a miscarriage at a baby shower. So you have been warned. Let's meet this week's living arguments for mandatory sterilization.

Starting of course, with Dan. He's so old. He remembers when ghosting someone required a seance and the reserves of fuck. He has ran out sometime during the Mesozoic era. Do there's dazzling Chris whose attention span is shorter than premature ejaculation and narrower than a nun's vagina. If there isn't at least one strangling with a cheese wire, Chris considers it pretentious, shy for wankers, and in third place it's the man who literally just told me I've been fingering a mine.

All weak. Sounds like the piano lessons are going brilliantly. It's the newly married not on the market anymore, ladies. Sidey.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: it's me. It's me.

Dan: And

Cris: And[00:02:00]

Sidey: it's eure.

Reegs: me weeks.

Dan: Yeah.

Cris: And there's also, yeah.

Dan: There's, there's Reju. Hello.

Sidey: we all went to a wedding, didn't we?

Went to Ed Lows, with multi lus.

Dan: wedding of the year. It was, as far as weddings go, even one my misses enjoyed and she's just, as you all know, miserable and she won't enjoy anything. So for her

Sidey: to that's the benefit of having a Free bar.

Was

free for all of you.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah. I like the way you charged the wankers.

Reegs: But it was, it was a very fine affair.

Sidey: It was good fun, wasn't it? I really enjoyed it.

Dan: Whether had,

Sidey: given that I my set my stall out,

Dan: his hat on,

Sidey: I'd set my stall out early to be like, let's just go away to, you know, Vegas and get married on our own. But we did this way and really enjoyed it. In, in, Yeah.

Spite of

Reegs: great party.

Sidey: It was

good

Dan: I, I'm, I'm pleased you didn't go to Vegas and

Sidey: There are some photos on discord

as well. If you

want if Really

Cris: I was gonna say, oh, I think you did make a slightly, a slight mistake with the suit being so thick. It was hot. It was hot, which we,

Dan: You were hot,[00:03:00]

Cris: It looked really cool and you looked really hot, but you know what I mean though. It was, it was,

Dan: it's jersey.

Reegs: I described that as dark egg blue, maybe the, the suit. What was

the

Cris: than

Sidey: had some mystery

stains on it. 'cause there were early doors, like brown stains on my elbows, but I hadn't fallen over.

I think it was some leaning on,

Dan: on the table tables

Sidey: and something like that.

Dan: We all have

Reegs: Oh, we did have brown. Yes, we talked about that.

Sidey: Stay outta this town. But I, the misses. So the wedding was

expensive. They are.

And

I'm still paying for this motherfucker because K took

K two, sso, took the wedding dress, and the flower girl dresses to the dry cleaners today.

What do you reckon?

Cris: 1200 pounds

Sidey: much.

I'm buying it again.

Cris: Alright,

Reegs: Oh, I dunno.

300 quid.

quid. Fuck me.

Sidey: then 50 quid for the suit. cleaning.

Dan: Dry cleaning. You know, these are bills that you don't, I

Sidey: up for the fucking

Reegs: for the dry cleaning.

Dan: you don't even think of those as being part of the bill, you know, afterwards.

Sidey: like, well at

Dan: I would've thought of.

Sidey: In theory. That's the only time I'll ever get drug. It's the only time. I've paid 300 quid for, that fucking thing. [00:04:00] yeah, one of the, I mean, one of the flower girl dresses that she's had, drug cleaned is completely broken

Like it's beyond repair. It is been dry cleaned.

Reegs: Amazing.

Sidey: Anyhow, it was a good day. I was off to her. I was off last week. She's two years old.

Dan: No, not that one.

Reegs: one.

Sidey: So I did watch quite a few things. while I was off, I watched the accountant

two.

Dan: Oh, I've not seen the

Cris: I watched that

Sidey: very few

IFRS or FS one or two updates in there. It was mostly about hitman. Yeah.

Reegs: Very little actual accountancy.

Sidey: No,

double

Dan: That's

why I never got into it, you know? I thought if it's not a cat

Sidey: Strong John Befor content though. Really good.

Cris: Very good. And, and quite funny as

Sidey: well

I

Reegs: But what, enter, what enterprise resource planning software are they using though?

Sidey: They're still,

Reegs: a really crucial part of

Sidey: they're Microsoft

Dynamics.

Reegs: Is it, it's dynamics? Is

Dan: Answer me this was accountant one any good?

Reegs: Yes,

Sidey: Yeah, I Enjoyed

it.

Dan: Okay. We've never

Sidey: It's good.

It's good. yeah, I think

Reegs: in with this one, this week's

Sidey: I think they've, I think between one and Two,

they're very different. This is more [00:05:00] like a buddy, not cop, because they're not, co they're hit men, but they're

what

is the straight one and a like madcap fucking, lunacy. one. We were watching

it and I glanced away. It was John Tal when you introduced to him and he is on the phone.

He is just in his pants.

He's Like you

just missed a close off of his dick. Had to rewind Dick. Yeah,

Reegs: yeah, definitely.

Sidey: because he is walking around in his pants

and like, he's very,

Reegs: Just his bulge. Bulging. Oh man, I'm gonna have to watch

Sidey: guy.

Dan: every day.

Cris: They're both in good Nick though, like you can even Affleck who he's never been like

Reegs: well even you see him as Batman. Honestly, he's just ridiculous to the shape that he gets into Ben Affleck. Yeah,

Sidey: He's good in it. I think this role suits him. 'cause he seems to me like he's probably quite miserable quite a lot of

the time.

Is that because I associate, without me?

remember? the singer?

Reegs: yeah.

And rolling his eyes

Cris: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah,

Sidey: so

he is not like, that, but he is just

dead paling this.

Whereas John Be's like zany and crazy watch that I did 37 minutes of black Adam for, I had to turn off. It's fucking

Reegs: Yeah. It's good.

Sidey: did the Working

man.

Sta

Cris: heard it. [00:06:00] It's, it's number three in Jersey on prime. So it's

good.

Dan: Yeah. I've not, I've not seen that. It's

Sidey: good. He's a man who works, but he's also got,

a

Reegs: well, is he a handyman?

Sidey: He's just kind of like

foreman on a big construction

site. He doesn't have a family, so the fa it's a family

run business,

and he's like adopted them as his family. He's

Reegs: oh, he's created a new family. That's,

Sidey: quite close. and

when the daughter gets kidnapped,

He

He swears to

Reegs: goes all statham. Yeah.

Sidey: He goes

full, Statham produced by Stallone.

So it's, I think they're trying to do a

kind of a

Rambo sort of

thing.

Reegs: Oh, I love

Sidey: Nowhere,

nowhere near that. But, you know, yeah. Fun.

Reegs: But beekeeper was good.

Sidey: and Boost was better than that. It was better

than the working

man. Okay. I did

some, other

Dan: I've not seen that. I've not seen any sta them stuff in a while actually, but I always have a, a laugh with

his,

Sidey: has a great scene with a band saw where

he pushes someone's hand through it Fucking brilliant man. Nice.

Dan: Oh, nice.

Sidey: That was good. Some other stuff. I can't remember. Good.

Anyone else watch anything?

Dan: I've been watching Department Q, which [00:07:00] is on

Sidey: Yeah, it come, it crops up on my

suggested

Dan: it's about it starts off straight outta the blocks. You watch the first five, five minutes even before the title start running.

You'll know if you are sucked in. And it, it is great writing because they go into a, a house that has a guy who's got a knife through his head and these two cops who aren't waiting for backup. And there's one kind of community police officer outside who'd been called to the scene by the this guy's daughter just to check on him and said, look I'm not sure.

I'm not going in. I'm waiting for backup. go on, we're in now. We'll go And they're just really going, oh, I wonder what killed him. You know, there's lots of dark kind of comedy and comments in it and everything. And then all of a sudden. Boom. Shit hits the fan and lives change.

Sidey: so what is it like a, police?

Dan: it, it goes back to, yeah.

[00:08:00] So the, basically a guy is hiding in the kitchen who'd done this murder. And as they're investigating, they haven't waited for this place to be properly checked out. He comes in and shoots the community cop dead. He shoots the other guy, his partner. And the, the bullet kind of ricochets off him and goes through his neck, Rico Shade. So it paralyzes one guy nearly kills the other copper. Yeah, it really is. And then he gets invited a few months later to start up a cold case unit in the basement in the fucking

Sidey: who? The paralyzed guy?

Dan: The, no, the, the guy got it through the neck. The guy paralyzes still in hospital, wants to kill himself.

But I'm in about four or five episodes in now and they've got a case and they're starting to put down together some real they're all, all the people within his unit are quite damaged in one way or another psychologically or physically. And they're [00:09:00] piecing to get or both, and they're piecing together now this cold cases and it, it is pretty good.

Yeah. It's dark humor, if you don't mind. Lots of cunts and fucks and shits and things.

Sidey: Might probably you

Dan: this, yeah. Well then, then this you might put up with this as well.

Sidey: Okay. Nice.

What about you Chris?

Cris: I watched a movie that I really, I, for whatever reason, I actually really liked, I told you the other week when I came over I watched marching powder.

Dan: oh, Danny Dyer,

Cris: Honestly, it,

Dan: his son-in-law.

Cris: know what, you know what you're gonna get. I, I'm not, he is not an Oscar winner. He is not an amazing movie. Yeah. But it's funny.

Reegs: Well, he's on the way though, and he, he's, he's had a lot

of

Cris: He's

actually, and you know what, he, it is the same exactly like you say's, a lot of CNTs, a lot of cockney, a lot of fighting and football and Coke and Hooliganism pretty much.

But

Sidey: because

he is now, he's now at the, in Danny Dyer's life

he's like, yes, I was a like drug addict. And so

he's doing

Cris: And, and it's, look, at the end of the day, it's a drama. And, and [00:10:00] it's, you know, he is got this love stories. He falls asleep in a public, like a, not a public toilet is the, the one that you see at festivals, you know, like the plastic, the portu, and he's asleep there.

He's just like, and his message just slaps him the way it came up. And there's a few, there's a few really good bits. And the, the, there's really good bit about Tranmere being the poor and the poor and ugly cousin of Liverpool. If you can believe there's such a thing and stuff like that. So it it, it's quite good.

I've finished Moreland, like the whole 10 episodes

Dan: what? 10 episodes you

Cris: Yeah. I'll never watch.

Sidey: but

Reegs: That's it though.

Dan: oh yeah.

Cris: they're planning for a second season. They plotted it really well.

Dan: They haven't, they haven't planned for

Cris: like, that's this is, that's, I can see where it's going and I'm, I already know that they've basically brought this character to be another.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: That's it. I'm, I'm done.

Reegs: it's that thing of when you say they bring in Uncle Joey or whatever,

Cris: well they, they brought this Cat McAllister character, which is, it's, it's, she's been for [00:11:00] the last three episodes, kind of in the midst, whatever, and, and you see more and more, and then now is she's the enemy instead of the

Sidey: If it ends, I don't know how it ends, but if it ends with an absolute cliffhanger, are you not even slightly intrigued to find out what happens next? No.

Dan: it's obvious. I love that. I love that.

Zero

Cris: it's not. No, no, I'm not, I'm not, I'm not a look, I'm not, we all have principles that we step on, but what's the point in that?

You, you give, look, you

Sidey: No, we've had this before,

Cris: No, but you know, you gave me 10 hours of it. Yeah. I've spent 10 hours of my life watching it, and especially with this one, I've actually had to be patient and because they didn't show it all in one go. Yeah. They, they gave you one a week and whatever.

I only got into it when they were once, there were five of them out already. How

Dan: many

Sidey: Zero.

Zero.

Reegs: I dunno, that looked like a triangle,

Cris: Yeah. I was gonna say that's a bit like the illuminati,

Sidey: something this week. oh black Adam, they did

it and re

Reegs: Well, I had watched all of, and, or pretty much so that worked

Dan: quite got to it the whole [00:12:00] way through yet, but I know how it ends.

Rogue one, if you listen to the midweek, you'll,

Reegs: yeah. You can hit, you can listen to 45 minutes of the three of us nerding off about it. And then Chris getting enraged at me is the embodiment of nerd culture as he gets his own back in his, so you can hear that review as our midweek mention

Dan: 45 minutes of us.

45 seconds of Chris.

yeah.

Reegs: And what else did I watch? I watched heretic,

Sidey: Oh yeah. Whenever I turn my tell on it's The

first thing

just pops up.

Cris: Yeah. What's going

Sidey: really, and I wanna watch it.

Reegs: I really enjoyed it. It's, it's a chick

Sidey: from yellow Jackets,

isn't it? It's the young, juliet

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. And obviously he Huge

grant.

Reegs: grant's great. And it, I mean, it's kind of silly but yeah,

Dan: it a horror? Yeah. Yeah. It kind of just as soon as it said

Reegs: I'll inflict it on you. Maybe we'll do that next week, actually. See

Cris: the, the trailer for that. It doesn't look as bad as you would think, but I, I don't, obviously I didn't watch it,

Reegs: and I, we did, I dunno if I mentioned this last time, but I did go to the cinema to see final destination bloodlines, and that was really, [00:13:00] really good.

Enjoyed that. And I love that franchise. And so is my misses. And it was great seeing it in a virtually empty

Cris: Did you, did you take her with you

Reegs: Yes, we both went, we bend off the kids and we went and watched it.

Cris: Did you say in, did you stay in separate

Dan: do you

leave them fem for themselves these days? The kids, or have you

Reegs: old enough for So

Sidey: There is

pretty much not gonna be a cinema soon. I would

Reegs: yeah know man, that's

Dan: over here? Mancave becomes destination number one.

Cris: final destination.

Dan: Is there not gonna be cinema? Because at my work, they've just given us discount to the cinema. Is it because there's not gonna be

Reegs: It's the final nail in the

Sidey: How many

people are there when he went? about

Reegs: about six.

Sidey: And probably. 200

Dan: pretty good numbers.

Reegs: They need to keep their numbers up, don't

Sidey: they? really do. I mean, I think it's already subsidized anyhow.

It's

been a long while since we

had a top five, so we don't have

anything to contribute to that. Let's just get into top five.

Ones.

Reegs: Ones, yeah.

Dan: O

Reegs: You baffled me in the chat because you put ones in quotes as the [00:14:00] number one and then your example was Wild Ones the movie.

That doesn't have a one. Wait, just, it was one's like

Dan: literally you just said ones.

Sidey: I think he also put any interpretation or

something like

Reegs: like that.

Okay. All right.

Dan: You know how lax we are. We're not fully,

Cris: Yeah, I was

Sidey: Well, why don't you set the tone down.

Dan: Well, I I will do, I I will say one Flew over the Cuckoo's Nest because not only is it an absolutely epic film with Jack Nicholson, but it is a fantastic book and it's not often that I would

Sidey: I get for Christie.

Is

Dan: Go. Ken

Reegs: Ken Casey.

Dan: Sorry. Casey. Casey. Tomato tomato. But either way it is one of the best books I've ever read. I absolutely loved it. And it's, you know, as a film lover, I will often have seen the film as a film

Sidey: as a film slash lover. Or

was that

film

Cris: No, he is a film and a lover. He is

Reegs: who makes love

Cris: lover. Is is he?

Lover?[00:15:00]

Sidey: Lover,

Dan: lover. Exactly.

Sidey: Shuck

Dan: this was, oh,

Mr. Lover. Lover. No, this was one of those where I loved them both. You know, I really loved the film. I really loved the book. Book. Edged it. I love an edge. Don't we all

Sidey: at work,

Dan: but this was a masterpiece and and it's got ones in it and that's the theme.

Reegs: It does. Yeah. Ones,

Dan: So, does anybody want to go next? Do you wanna go

Sidey: There is a, There's a mathematical law.

Dan: principles ones and

Sidey: obviously the Number one is the most common occurring number. Right?

So much so that it's applied.

There's a, the way that you can apply it so the IRS and Tax Promise will

apply it to

know if you're falsifying

tax records.

because.

Reegs: It's like a check sum on the rest of the number. If it doesn't have enough ones in it, then

Sidey: there's no ones, then it's like, that's bullshit. But that's got

nothing to do with entertainment or films. So

I'll shut

Cris: Okay.

This

is not really a great movie, but I [00:16:00] watched it and it's called One Love the Bob Marley. And it's got one in

Reegs: Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Cris: So, so I, I thought I'll put it out there.

Dan: wasn't that good. I didn't see this. It was at the cinema, wasn't

Cris: the Yeah, and I'm pretty sure I'm one of the very few people in the world that

Dan: certainly in Jersey.

Sidey: Did you learn

anything about him? Not really, Not really, no.

Cris: Because it was a shame and they, in my defense, as we all know, we're coming back to this and, you know, you're bored of all this, but as we all know, English is not my first language. And also Jamaican English is really not my thing that I understand.

And there was no subtitles. So for me to understand the film, like everything they were

Dan: surprised at that because it is that kind of patois as well, isn't

Reegs: If you say the word beer can, it's bacon, isn't it? So it's Jamaican saying bacon.

If you say beer can,

Dan: beer can sandwich.

Cris: Yeah. But hang

Sidey: around with games some more? you'll

Dan: Yeah. you

Cris: Yeah. But you know what I mean though. So for me though,

Sidey: Yeah, no,

Cris: and, despite the fact that it was, and I I spoke about it on [00:17:00] the pod before when we did, like, what did you watch and all that, despite the fact that it was, I think it was a fairly, it had really nice, really good actors that I've seen before in really good movies with good productions.

The movie itself for a cinema movie almost felt like a B movie. So I, I, I'll put it, I put it out there because I, I do love Bob Marley's music and obviously he represented whatever he represented and all that stuff, but the movie itself for what it could have been, I thought it wasn't that great, but that's one love.

Sidey: Okay. I Like

it.

Dan: One love

Sidey: a movie that has that is 1985, this movie, and has repeated rumors and calls from enthusiasts about it for a

sequel. Not for me. I I would say

just leave it where it

is, but the

Goonies

Reegs: Oh, right, okay.

Sidey: And the Treasure

belongs to One-Eyed Willie. Yes and in the end they They go into the,

they do eventually get,

Dan: love to see a Goonies all why I can still have

Sidey: no, it's like [00:18:00] all this nostalgic shit. Leave it where it was.

Dan: they might, bring it. Something special. I, I've, I've trust that people that who take this

Reegs: off, but what is it a new band of

Sidey: kids But all those people,

Reegs: Josh

Sidey: all those People are

like absolute masters, right? Spielbergs, and Mecca, all these

people. And they've been like, no, let's just fucking.

leave it. So just

Reegs: it. So there was

barely enough for a movie to hang a together in the first one. Was there,

Dan: I, I would, I would hope that, that people like Josh bro who cared about the movie would be involved in something like this.

I would hope that they would,

Sidey: there is still a chat that's gonna

happen.

Reegs: I hope they bring back slough

Dan: I would hope there'd be real

Sidey: have to.

Reegs: upbringing in the

Absolutely

Sidey: stole the whole movie.

Dan: Real, kind of,

Reegs: can you imagine honestly that character

Dan: Still going, still going. You guys

Sidey: But yeah, the whole premise was that they were searching for this treasure that they were trying to get

to.

Stop the foreclosure

of them losing the house. Goonies never die And the treasure belonged to one-eyed Willie and They did

fucking

get the treasure in

the end. And

then on the [00:19:00] beach, they're there. And

you see the ship. Fucking

Reegs: sail

Dan: What happened to the ship though? And where did it go? And what,

Sidey: we

Dan: maybe it's a diving story. I don't know. I think it could, you could build from that.

Sidey: Goonies never die.

Never. Especially

with the with the renaissance of

data was the space.

Dan: Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm talking about. Bring it on. Okay. You heard it here first on the pod. We we're going

Sidey: Take it in a different

direction.

Reegs: Well, I've got Oceans 11.

Sidey: Okay. two ones Two

Reegs: two ones

Sidey: I've got,

Reegs: then Oceans 12. And you see where I'm going with this. Oceans 13. But I dunno if by that point they spelt it.

Sidey: no, they didn't.

Reegs: No.

Sidey: I don't think so. I went to, the, so one of the guys, the only person that came to my wedding who wasn't from Jersey, was Jim, who I went to cinema

to see Oceans 13 and he fell asleep for the entire thing.

Dan: I like Jim.

Reegs: It was a very tall wedding actually. I did wanna remark upon that. Everybody was so tall. Yeah. I felt like a fucking hobbit there. Honestly.

Sidey: There was a lot of tall

people. Yeah. But, but oceans wise

Dan: Tall. I

Sidey: I like Oceans 13. Yeah. [00:20:00] I like

Oceans 11 not so keen

on Oceans

12.

that whole Julie Roberts as a

Real film

Reegs: Is she, isn't she all that stuff? Yeah. 1941, the Steven Spielberg. Then 1917 the Sam Mendes one that we watched. 1984. That's all got ones, you know, you can have just a list of things. 11 22 63. Did you ever see that one? The Stephen King mini series with James Franco where he goes back in time to prevent Kennedy being assassinated.

It's quite good reason why

Dan: Room 1 0 1. All, all that kind of stuff. Yeah. But I went for one, I Jacks as my next ones which was Marlon Brando's. Kind of only UAL feature. And one I jacked was to do with the cards.

Sidey: Was it really?

Dan: yeah. Symbolizing that kind of hidden motives and duality of, of human nature. But I, I quite liked this at the time.

It was, it was a, a weird old western, really. One eye jacks [00:21:00] and we've got a, the, the zoo a kind of area called One Eye Jacks, the lemurs have on, which has absolutely

Cris: Oh, is that what it's called? There? It's quite cool that I, I like that. It's like fairly new,

let's

Dan: Yeah. And they, they kind of talk about, just being that, that other side, you know, one eye jacks is one side of somebody and you've got the, the other side. Which all you guys do, you know, you, you're real kind of nice on here, but I know you use different,

Reegs: mm-hmm. People. Yeah.

Sidey: Genuine guy.

Dan: Genuines,

Cris: You said one eye there is in 22. There's what?

Dan: Nothing.

Sidey: Nothing.

He's talking about his

his penis.

Cris: I

Dan: When you said I I

Cris: On the 7th of March, 2022, the first episode was released of the one-arm chef,

Dan: right?

Sidey: Michael Kanes.

Cris: It is Giles Duly or Dolly.

Yeah. And he is a chef and he is got one arm [00:22:00] photojournalist, Joes Dully documents the impact of conflict around the world by connecting with locals through food.

And he is got one arm and I've got a picture of him. So he actually has one

Sidey: There's another

guy

Reegs: You're verifying? He's not faking it. I,

Cris: I'm not. I'm, I'm not, I'm just saying

Sidey: seen Spinals. Yeah. There, There's another chef, Michael Kanes a black fellow He's, he's got well arm Michael

Reegs: Oh, so it's not even a, an original gimmick then Basically,

Sidey: No, Michael, it's, it's, it is. Michael Kane with an s is Michael Kanes You. if you've seen like, cousin great

Cris: African cousin.

Sidey: No,

Reegs: You only wanna blow your bloody arm. Or

Sidey: co What's the one where

they have

cooks on and they go in front of the panel, he's got the he looks

like

fucking

the one we did at the pod, the golf one.

Reegs: Gilmore.

Sidey: Yeah. He looks like, what's, what's the coach he has,

Reegs: because

Sidey: he has the prosthetic and when, when he is cooking,

Reegs: got an arm like Chubb

Sidey: Yeah. When he is cooking,

he has

the prosthetic arm and he is like

cutting stuff up against it. But he's like a, Like a multi Michelin stard chef.

Cris: Alright. I dunno about that

Sidey: in real life.

Cris: I, I, just know about this one.

So can I take that? I didn't

Sidey: I didn't realize there was, a,

Cris: it's in the name, [00:23:00] the one armed chef.

Sidey: I didn't realize there was two and one

plus one equals So There you go.

Reegs: does,

Sidey: One Eye Jacks appears in Twin Peaks.

Twin Peaks. Epi episode? Season one. Episode one.

Cris: Straight outta the beginning.

At the

Sidey: origin I think the greatest pilot of any series

Reegs: is, that's a lot of

Sidey: is

Northwest Passage. It's where Laura Palmer turns

up dead.

But you saying about

one Eye Jacks reminded me of it because One Eye Jacks is the

strip club

that Benjamin Horne and his brother go to and his daughter ends up working

at,

and he,

she

is brought into the room for him

to

Dan: Well, his daughter

Sidey: have relations with

and she's hiding.

behind the bed.

If you've never seen that, it's really, really

great.

How about right, so there's

Plenty of like outstanding monologues throughout the history

of cinema. where, Where

someone delivers some

unbelievable dialogue.

I think we can all agree that in

1986, when Optimist Prime said

at the, at the beginning of his conflict with [00:24:00] Megatron, one shall stand, one shall fall, and they battle to the death

and fucking optimist. Prime

died,

Reegs: Cinema hit its peak, didn't it?

Sidey: talking about the animated movie. It is the best thing that's ever been made.

in The history of mankind. Yeah.

Fucking

unbelievable.

Reegs: All popular culture was downhill from

Sidey: point. Yeah. One shall stand. yeah,

that's like what

my dad says about

stuff. which is

fucking tragic, But

one shall stand, it

was like fucking Shakespeare.

is amazing. absolutely incredible. I almost

had that for my nomination,

but I've got even better than that

to come.

Reegs: Well, the Chosen one narrative is a pretty strong trope across lots of staff. IE to the extent that, I mean, Neo is literally the one in

Sidey: like a, it's like an anagram.

Reegs: Yeah. It's even the nanogram Yeah. Of the Matrix. And then there was the Jet Lee movie, the one, did anybody ever see it? I think

Sidey: No, I think

Cris: so.

Dan: one was that?

Reegs: this is the one that it posited, posited the idea of the multiverse way before the multiverse was called, but it, it had a very specific number. It said there were 124 and it's got this like dimensional.[00:25:00]

I, well, yes, maybe. Who knows? J jet Lee basically goes dimension hopping, killing other versions of himself and thereby acquiring his more speed and power from that guy. And he's

Sidey: Oh, so

he gets

the powers of the ones

he kills?

Cris: Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: then so Jet Lee placed, who characters in this movie, the bad guy who's going and killing everybody?

He's introduced in a sort of emo new metal. Do you remember that body song? Let the Bodies Hit the Floor. And he beats some guys up and then there's another kind of Jet Lee who is kind of inexplicably getting faster and like, cleverer and all this

Cris: and without killing everyone

Reegs: yeah, because he's eventually, obviously these two are gonna fight as the two most powerful

Cris: watching that. It's also shot in a, almost like a similar to the Matrix in a way.

Almost like that blue bluish kind of ceia or

Reegs: Certainly at the beginning it has a blue filter, very much apes. The matrix has a sort of bullet time, but cheap effect. But it's really about the emo new metal. For me that was [00:26:00] really giving. Its got drowning pull. What was that other fucking terrible last resorts?

Remember them, Papa Roach, that they Oh That last resort song. Terrible. But classic. Yeah.

Sidey: Fucking hell bad. Yeah,

Reegs: the one great,

Cris: Great, great, great tune.

Dan: I, I've got a Capricorn one is is a movie down on my list. A lot of people will notice the OJ Simpson kind of space but what happens here?

Yeah. You crazy. You never heard this. The juice the juice.

Cris: juice goes to space.

Dan: juice goes space, but it doesn't go to to space. 'cause they fuck it up, but they can't admit they're fucking up. It's a planned mission to Mars and they're not gonna make it. But they can't admit they're not gonna So then they fake it.

Reegs: Yeah. They decide to film it out in the

Dan: they?

Exactly, they decide to film it out in the desert. And, and once it becomes, once it becomes known that the, the ship burns up on entry, they realize we ain't [00:27:00] gonna make it back either. Because they've gotta tie up close you

Reegs: They can't be allowed to let the secret get out that they've

Dan: Exactly, we, we've gone too far.

But somebody at NASA knows that it, it's a load of bullshit. Only a few people.

Cris: Right.

Dan: Up echelons had had known up until that point. But then they turn up, a couple of the astronauts turn up at the at the funeral. And obviously blow it sky high. But yeah, Capricorn won. It was the juices big kind of part.

And it wasn't a, you know, he was getting into the, the acting scene. And then he went for a drive a long drive at 45 miles an hour. Yeah. Glove didn't fit, didn't do it. And he's dead now, ain't he? Juice?

Reegs: Yeah,

Sidey: Yeah. He died a little while ago.

Cris: think, yeah, a couple of years

Dan: Yeah.

Yeah.

Cris: he snuffed it. Yeah.

Anyway,

Reegs: we never found out if he did it.

Cris: Speaking of wands yeah, nobody knows.

It's, it's, it's still a mystery. There is a movie called Year One.

Reegs: Yes, there is. With Jack Black.

Cris: Yeah.

Sidey: Oh, [00:28:00] it's awful.

Reegs: yeah. It's terrible actually.

Sidey: this in

Cris: I know. But it

Reegs: it's there. Yeah.

Cris: and it's, it's, it is there in the universe. There is also is it the series Marco Polo won Hundred Eyes.

It's on Netflix. I can guarantee that.

And I have a list that I have made from one man Army movies,

which

Reegs: Oh,

Cris: include the name necessarily, but there's a one man army, which is

Reegs: is Yeah.

Rambo

Cris: Diehard Kill Bill. Death Wish Desperado. So, so obviously there's, there's a million of them. But just what I had in my head,

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. That's a good one.

The one. man

Cris: I, thought there's no one in the actual movie, but it is

Reegs: No, it's a good trope. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: it's like a,

Reegs: yeah.

Cris: I thought I'll, I'll go a little bit more, I dunno. Out there. So that, can I take that

like

Reegs: I, okay. Yeah, Okay.

Sidey: it Rigg, You mentioned numbers that aren't

one, but

have a

[00:29:00] one in them.

Yeah. Apollo 11. there's a 2019 documentary about Apollo 11. That's two ones. Yeah. Next to each other. Yeah.

And not only that, but when they land

on the in, do you remember what we

said?

one small step for

man. Yeah.

One

giant leap.

Reegs: It's two ones there as

Sidey: so It's like four ones altogether. It's quite incredible.

Cris: And they And a giant.

And a giant. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Also I was thinking about a series that I really like,

which is about to cycle acta. They are the, the initial silence.

So I'm talking about

the reboot, not the Benedict Batch one. Whatever his

name so this is the one where,

there is Tricia

Fer

one. She was number

six.

But the original lot of silence in that of the significant seven. And number one is

John Cavel. No relation to

Henry relation

Played by Dean Stockwell

He was a real badass dude. There were seven of those and then there was the subsequent like what they called original five

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Really like that series.

But there [00:30:00] was I think,

what was that? Make it 12 of them. But Dean Stockwell was number

one. but he wasn't the,

the,

they're number.

It's like this, it's not

like the stone cars. It doesn't mean that he was the first.

Reegs: What does it mean? I

Sidey: What does it mean? I dunno,

Reegs: is

Sidey: there doesn't seem to be

any real significance to the number

Because the first

one was one of the spoiler, it was Ty's wife who was on the Battlestar. She is number five.

She was the

first

Reegs: she the blonde one.

Sidey: She,

that's Tricia held first.

She's number,

six. the first actual asylum weirdly is number five.

So just completely random

I think. And then I, I've got millions

of other ones, but I'm just going quickly talk about some

music and then I'll

Reegs: All right,

Sidey: I'll do that.

Reegs: all right. I've got directors who only ever directed one movie. Ooh. So I've got Kinka Usher who did Mystery Men. You seen that one with Greg Canne

Sidey: Man and stuff. Yeah.

Reegs: I

really like that movie. It's really funny. John Payson did the nineties [00:31:00] musical comedy, Joe's apartment starring Jerry O'Connell and a Load of cockroaches.

Walter Merch did the Childhood er, return to Oz, and that was it. He was one and done. And then Wing Commander do you remember that?

I

Dan: I remember the

Sidey: was Cmic Husband.

Reegs: Yeah, Freddy Prince Jr. Matthew Lillard, saffron Burrows, Juergen Pro now, and David Suha in this terrible video game adaptation, but it was directed by

Dan: video

Reegs: the guy who created the video game series, and they obviously gave him the keys to the kingdom to make a

Sidey: fucks in here.

Reegs: Thing.

So yeah, there's a few of those.

Dan: Was

it as good as average, do you think?

Reegs: It's one of those where it's got quite a lot of sort of like comedic value and maybe like an a plus for effort, but mm,

Cris: But nothing else?

Reegs: film,

Dan: Well, I, I remember when I was a, a kid, one of the first that I, I saw, it was the 1916 film by Charles Chaplin.

And it was called 1:00 AM and it was a nearly solo [00:32:00] performance by, by Chaplain. And it's just a short comedy following a drunken man as he, he tries to get to bed after a night out. And we've all

Reegs: We've all, we've all been, yeah.

Dan: all been there,

Cris: could be about any of us.

Dan: and he's just, it's just brilliant because he's.

What a physical performer, you know? Just absolutely fantastic. It's only really short. I think you can catch it now if you, if you look on like, online and everything for it. But it's just the mastery of slapstick and everything. And, and as I was just, you know, what, 23, 24 at a time

Cris: from the war,

Dan: he just battles with, with household objects as he, he's kind of escalating into this struggle just to,

Sidey: he just survived World War I didn't he,

don't wanna go on about

Dan: I'd, won it, but you know,

one

Cris: One single handedly

Sidey: the Allies.

Cris: L.

Dan: you go.

Cris: Alright. Gangster number one.

yeah.

Malcolm [00:33:00] McDowell, David ths, and Paul Beney and other people. Paul Mcgon

Sidey: again.

Barry's Barry's dad, Barry

Cris: Yeah. That is involved and I think I, I've also got the it's like a series that Awa Watt once, it's called One Day.

Reegs: Oh yeah, I read the book.

It's had a movie as well.

Cris: Is it a movie as well? It's

Reegs: really good. The series is terrible. The movie

Cris: like a lovey dovey kind of thing. I dunno, it's

Reegs: The book is about the difference between what you hope for when you are young and what actually, you know, the sort of like sacrifices and like, compromises you make in your life by the time you're older, which is actually a really interesting theme.

Cris: The, the, I, I didn't watch a movie and I didn't read the book, but the series were not, I remember she, well, she watched it and she's like, God, this is really good. Do you want,

Reegs: it's got a really clever conceit because it follows a couple, they meet on a particular day and then it just revisits their relationship. Well, not their relationship.

[00:34:00] Them like every d on that day, every day. And spoiler alert. 'cause none of you fucks will ever like read it or watch it. She gets killed on that day, which is a bit of a contrivance, but it also help, it's good in the book. She gets killed on her birthday, so she dies half of the couple,

Dan: Makes it easy for the maths on the headstone though, doesn't it?

Reegs: They don't ever become a couple. 'cause it's not like that. It like they, it's life is a bit of a series of missed opportunities for them to get together and that sort of

Sidey: He dodged a bullet. Are you saying?

Reegs: no, because she's quite cool. He's a bit of a dick actually.

Well, he's not a, he's, yeah. But then the rest of the book becomes about him and the other guy that was in her. Life. Yeah. That was in her boyfriend, like, but he was a bit of a dick. But kind of those two coming together and sort of not coming together, but just forming, forming a friendship that

Dan: a hold there. Yeah,

Reegs: forming a friendship that benefits

Cris: Okay. Yeah.

Sidey: Friends.

of benefits.

Reegs: Oh God.

I got what,

Sidey: Right. Couple of musical ones.

I remember last week[00:35:00]

before

the week that was last

I gave the police Good kicking. Yeah. And that was seconded. Online by breach,

of you also said they were shit.

But they're not

the worst band. that I thought,

that I, I think I might have said they're

one of the worst

bands.

They are one of the worst bands.

But the absolute Worst band. of all time is you two. They have a song called one. and It's a really

horrible fucking

sentimental piece of shit.

Cris: He's been in the news recently, bono.

Sidey: ha. Yeah, he was actually right.

But I hate that song.

Reegs: Bono was right. What did he say?

Sidey: He Was just talking. I'm

Cris: anyway.

I,

I don't know what he was saying, but he was in, I, you know, when, when something pops up on my Yeah. Twitter and

Sidey: Well, you're a huge U YouTube fan? Metallica have a song called

One It's about a paraplegic. Quite

quadriplegic guy from the war.

Cheery little one. Yeah. One more time. DAF Punk.

The album is really great.

One, Vision

Queen. Yeah.

They were decent,

weren't they? They all

Cris: They all

Sidey: But then

I'm gonna, no, 'cause we're

fucking long way into this is in Star

Trek, particularly in Star Trek, next generation, the, [00:36:00] so you've got the captain. So Picard and his second in command, he would always refer to

as number one. Yeah.

So I automatically think of Riker like it, and there is a super cut, and This is what I'm nominating. It is the super

cut on YouTube. Of the 10 hours of them just

walking down the, corridor just repeatedly it just loops around. And them just walking

around, the

Dan: spend 10 hours your

Sidey: It might even be, it might even be a hundred hours I

dunno.

Dan: in worse ways.

Sidey: And

my one

true regret

in life was there's a collectible shop. It's actually really good in town.

Reegs: Yeah, I know. The one you mean you weren't allowed to go in there as a kid. Basically, I

Sidey: I

work near it and I would

drive past it frequently and there was a Riker t-shirt in

there

and I thought, oh, one day I'll go on and I'll, I'll get, I'll I'll see if it was the right size and I'll buy it.

And that one day I went, it was gone.

idiot.

Fucking oh, devastating.

Dan: I remember that

Sidey: If I, If

I could

Dan: back, Damn.

Sidey: down,

but I can't.

Dan: We've got some strong recommends. Have you got one last one for us before we throw it out to the un? Great unwashed.

Reegs: What my norm? Oh, [00:37:00] can I have Don Juan?

because it's Juan. Then we can be Juan and Don.

Dan: Oh

Sidey: I forgot one. But anyway, that

Cris: a

Dan: that's the level we've got. I put in Charlie Chaplin.

Sidey: of course,

Reegs: 1:00 AM

Sidey: 1:00 AM what I was

gonna say was

in cricket.

The England

specifically in Tess cricket. The unlucky

number is one one, one. But they call it

Nelson. Nelson. Yeah. Because he

lost an eye

and an arm, and a dili or

Reegs: then you double nelson at 2, 2 2.

Cris: I, I can't stand the 1 1 1.

Reegs: Yeah. Well, it's just, it's not that he can't, it's just an

Sidey: and there was a particular on bike called David Shepherd, and if the team was on 1 1 1, he would stand on one leg.

until the score changed. That's right.

Yeah. I think if score or a player was on 1 1 1. So anyway,

that's

the

Cris: can I say this?

Sidey: Yeah, definitely. I really

Cris: I really need to go for a wee. I otherwise I'm gonna wet myself. Just go I've got the world's most number one movie, which is the, the most gro, the most gross

Sidey: hang on, can we guess?

First

Cris: lifetime grosses. And I've got the top four and it'll be, they're all in [00:38:00] separate. Is the first one. Number one

Sidey: one gonna avatar.

Cris: Yes. 2009. Number two.

Dan: I can't believe that.

Cris: 2019

Avatar No,

Reegs: it's

a potter.

Sidey: End

Cris: The avatar, the way of the water is 2022.

Sidey: End game.

Cris: Yes. Water World 2019. Is that just, that's number two. And so you've got Avatar one, 2009 Avengers.

End Game 2019. Avatar, the way of the water. 2022 And number four. And number four. It's a classic and

Sidey: it's gonna

have one in the

Dan: escape to victory.

Cris: Jack dies at the end.

Sidey: Tit? Yes.

Yeah.

Dan: Wow.

Cris: and, and they were all number ones in their respective years. Mm-hmm. And the Avengers sorry, Avengers avatar, the number

Sidey: And in Titanic, Only one person could fit on the door at the end.

According to the film Bullshit though, because Myth, Myth Busters proved that you could have got two on.

Cris: Yeah. Can I go

Sidey: Yes.

Dan: Especially if you've got one of those 35 kilo fucking doors I've

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: That's [00:39:00] a whole nother story. Whole nother story.

murder bot it's an Apple TV joint.

Cris: Yes.

Sidey: Quite contemporary for us.

This

Dan: Yeah.

We don't often go for series. It's still running at

Sidey: Don't often go for series.

Dan: We don't often go for series. So,

Cris: how

come you, you decided to go for this though? Obviously we know what we did in the midweek and stuff, but

Dan: but Well, on a couple of episodes further ahead than this first episode.

I really liked it. Yeah, I really liked it and I just thought it might be something interesting. Obviously it's the same writer as the,

Sidey: we all, we all knew that,

Dan: didn't, no, yeah, we all knew that obviously res it wasn't just luck, but isn't it?

Reegs: Well, he adapted it to be fair. It was

Sidey: written it's a book.

Reegs: Yeah, a book was by Martha Wells. Is it

Dan: could, could you feel some kind of. Flavor between rogue One and this though, in the style in the, that is written in the,

Sidey: not at all.

Cris: No.

Dan: [00:40:00] you, you could, I actually could I actually, yeah. I actually felt that there was subconsciously anyway some kind of unconscious probably 'cause I'd had a few glasses of wine.

But

Sidey: personally,

joking

aside, no I didn't.

I just didn't.

Cris: yeah, I didn't either, but

Dan: well, it.

it's not a million miles away anyway, in as far as aesthetically how it looks, how it feels,

Sidey: of like a science

Dan: It's a science fiction kind of

Reegs: Well, tonally, it's a, it's a, it is a million miles away from Star Wars because

Sidey: talking about the aesthetic?

Dan: Yes.

Reegs: Oh, right, yeah.

Dan: Which isn't but tonally and anally, it's, it's, it's completely different, isn't it?

Sidey: I, so I had, I was aware of this. I had seen some things talking about it as a series. It was coming up and I hadn't seen it and

I hadn't really I hadn't seen a

preview for it or anything like that, so I didn't really know what to expect.

The tone of it sort of took me

by surprise.

It wasn't

what 'cause

murder, bot, I [00:41:00] was expecting maybe a little bit more sinister or something

Dan: that. Did, did you watch the, the, the, the full kind of credits

Sidey: and everything Yeah. as,

it

Dan: comes in? So,

Sidey: this is

not what I thought it was gonna be.

Yeah.

Dan: And it's a dark science fiction comedy.

Cris: but it's filmed very light.

Rather than, you know, when you say dark, for me it means like light, you know, like a, like a Blade Runner or

Sidey: yeah.

Well this is not like

Cris: this is, this is just like clear, clean, quite nice lighting,

Reegs: yeah, yeah. Absolutely.

Dan: a, a bit like Rogue One in that sense that even though that first scene of Rogue One is quite dark and

Sidey: everything, that you are saying.

is the opposite of that.

Dan: Yeah, I would say probably that's right. So it opens up at this mining station where team of mines are celebrating a job well done. They've had like six months and this. Security robot, this

Reegs: is a sec unit 2, 3, 8, 7, 7, 6, 4, 3, [00:42:00] 1.

Dan: He's kind of just sizing them all up and we realize that he is actually, as far as a, a sentiment being as a robot, he's going to get, he's, he's managed to think for himself

Sidey: he's given us the voiceover.

Cris: Yes.

Dan: the voiceover and he's saying I'm here to protect these people.

But the thing is about humans is they're generally assholes. And then they go and prove that by inflicting him to do a load of things. And what he's done is he's hacked his

Sidey: not not

Reegs: governor module,

Dan: It is governor

Sidey: he wants to, at first he talks about it

before

Reegs: he's been planning it for eight months. Yeah. So,

Dan: he's been planning

Sidey: They, they, they they make him hold his hand out and they set, they like light a fire under his hand. Yeah. And make him, and he is like, this really hurts, but I,

but

because of my governor module, I can't do anything about it. He has to tolerate it. And then he's like, I'm gonna. Try to crack this

Dan: and he cracks his, his governor code, which basically gives him autonomy over every decision that he [00:43:00] makes.

And he

Reegs: no longer accountable to the corporation, whatever that is.

Dan: And he could, he could just kill everybody if he wanted to. But he also doesn't want to be caught he doesn't want

Sidey: He knows that if he's caught, he'll be liquified

And then

what's

left in him will be

Reegs: Yes. Because he does have a human compo or a human flesh component to him, which

Sidey: like commanded data.

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Cris: Which we later find out that he actually can, without his armor, looks like a human with no penis.

Reegs: Yes.

Cris: We, we definitely see that.

Reegs: We do. Absolutely. Yeah. It's to point out his lack of gender.

Dan: So he, he kind of continues to work for the corporation.

Wary that any escape will

Sidey: Well, we also learned that he's not the

top of the range model.

He's, he's an older he is, an older bot.

Reegs: Well, we, we, we finish off that bit on the mining station with him Gain gaining his sort of autonomy free will and deciding that what he really

Sidey: he kind of cracks his code by saying, I want to [00:44:00] crack my code.

Oh, I've done

it.

Reegs: I've done it. Yeah. And then he just decides to watch TV because he doesn't wanna give the game way.

And then sort of the action cuts to this kind of group of space

Dan: it?

Yeah, that's right. He's, he's been working for this mining company as, as we know for the last six months, and he's come to the conclusion

Sidey: did we get the clip of him watching the te There's The show that he's

watching.

It's like Clark Greg and,

a

Reegs: He's got that enormous mustache and like of side beds. He's, it's a sort of space

Cris: Oh yeah. The guy, the, the,

Sidey: oh, space

Opera, but daytime tv.

yeah. Caliber Yeah.

Reegs: John Cho as well. Yeah. So that's the sort of show that he likes watching and he likes picking up phrases from his shows to deploy in his social situations.

Dan: Yeah. And he, he suddenly finds himself employed to a new assignment to protect a group of like hippie scientists from the Preservation Alliance led by Dr. Mensa who's a compassionate [00:45:00] leader rather than these assholes that he's been involved in before now. And as he goes on this trip, he, really.

Doesn't give a fuck. And he, he keeps asking, should I just kill everyone then? No. I, I better not because he is looking after himself all the time. It is not because he doesn't want to do it, it's just because he thinks that might, after all things computed, be

Sidey: Well, he's also, now that He's, hacked it, he's got a sort of self preservation like desire as well. Of

Reegs: He doesn't wanna be exposed. He wants to preserve himself. And also he just basically wants to be left the fuck alone to watch tv.

Cris: watch tv. Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. He just wants to watch this, this shit kind of TV and, and early on in the episode, this giant kind of worm sand worm attacks the group who have,

Sidey: he's, he knows it's coming.

He can sense the

vibrations, or whatever he shouts at

Dan: him. He, he's a little bit late because he is watching tv.

Sidey: Yeah. But He does [00:46:00] warn them

and they kind of look up

like, 'cause they've got doubts about

him because he,

They don't want to have

Reegs: They're in, they, they have had this security unit foisted upon them because the corporation that was

Sidey: by the corporation. Yeah.

Cris: Well, they wouldn't get

Reegs: insure them

Dan: They, they wouldn't

providing

Reegs: a SEC unit.

So they picked the one that was being refurbished

Dan: they, they, they picked the cheapest one that they could possibly get. They have no reason to believe this area that they're going to mine and do some science on is gonna provide any kind of risk that

Cris: because of the map, the map that they're given

Dan: because of the

Sidey: one of these, One of

the ca so

you may have seen some of the cast before you may not, but

someone you probably

will have seen is David Desk market. Desk market.

He's

fucking

cool. He

Reegs: plays Garath

Sidey: he's augmented.

Reegs: He can kind of plug into electronic interface with electronic systems and they sort of bump into each other in the electronic world.

He

Dan: well, SEC unit. Yeah. And after the SEC unit. Manages to save one [00:47:00] of the, the team from this giant worm. he's,

Sidey: I was getting Starship Trooper vibes

Reegs: He reveals his face to calm. One of the female scientists who's in a love triangle he, he rescues them revealing that he has yes, lesbians and another guy as well.

And he reveals his face, reveals his sort of humanity does he say? He reassures them.

Dan: Yeah. He asks about his children and things like that.

Cris: just stuff that he's seen in the, in the, in the, yeah, in the,

Dan: And this is uncharacteristic behavior from a SEC unit and

Sidey: He's also completely mangled. from me. Tech,

Dan: Garath Garin isn't isn't sure about this.

So he does some, some tests and he finds out that basically this bot has an Is malfunctioning. Is malfunctioning, and he's called himself Murder Bot which is where the title comes from.

Sidey: Oh, is it?

Dan: yeah, yeah.

Sidey: yeah. he's a super skeptic isn't he yeah. Just kin.

Reegs: Yes.

Dan: And it [00:48:00] is yeah, he's.

So

they're trapped on this remote

Reegs: first of all, he's, he's subjected to a hero's welcome back at the, 'cause.

Dan: He's, yeah, no,

Reegs: thing and the leader, Dr. Mensa, she comes out, she says, I'll come out, give him a speech. And it's that point. He's like, I is, would it be better to be liquified in an acid bath rather than give a speech? I've never felt more, anything more relatable in my life.

And so yeah, it goes on. I mean, there's, I've seen like four episodes as well, so it's difficult. I don't wanna like go beyond

Dan: episode too far ahead. But having seen more than one episode, then I take it that you got sucked in a little bit or had you seen this before? I've mentioned it,

Reegs: no, but I was, it was on my radar, but I had no idea what it was

Sidey: Yeah, sounds the same.

Dan: Yeah,

same. I, I, I can't remember who recommended it to me actually, but thank you, whoever that was.

Reegs: the rest of this episode is gonna play out with them slowly uncovering a conspiracy. There's another team on the planet, and when we see the other team, they're they've been slaughtered, I think, and we're gonna [00:49:00] find out later.

They were slaughtered by their SEC unit. But

Cris: but

not in this episode.

Reegs: not in this episode. Not in this episode,

Dan: It's like anything else. It, I, I was just wondering if you watched this first episode, were, were you interested enough and did it suck you in enough to watch a second, third, or maybe fourth episode like it has with you res What about yourselves?

Did you watch it and

Cris: I really like this actually. Yeah. I didn't, not enough to watch the second episode, but I actually thought it was actually quite funny. And, and I like the fact that it's an a narrator and I did find it really odd that he is fully human without a penis.

I actually, when, when, because initially when he kind of shows up in that robot, the kind of armor gear thing, I thought, right, okay, this is how it is. And then they show the, the, his face through the, the eyes of the other woman, the injured woman. And then he has access through everyone else's other everyone else's eyes.

And then you see him getting [00:50:00] repaired. And

Sidey: we should say it's

it's Alexander Scar's guard.

Yes.

Yeah. So he is super, horny, but in this he's got no dick, which is really, really Disappointing.

Yeah,

Cris: I know

That's

to high my disappointment. That's the only thing where I would be a bit like, well you could've kind of kept him, kept him either half robot or Show me his dick.

Reegs: I think his lack of his, his lack of penis is, is supposed to reflect, because, you know, this is sort of about neurodivergency, isn't it?

Yeah. I mean, he is very autism coded. The character he needs to recharge after social interactions.

Cris: He's very awkward in anything that's to do with emotion

Reegs: Yeah, but also highly sensitive.

Dan: well you

said this on our, on our chat afterwards and it was only after you said that I started reflecting on that.

Really? 'cause it wasn't anything I picked up on instantly whilst watching.

Reegs: Well, but the whole, I mean, you, he definitely pick up on his social anxiety. I mean that's, that's like,

Dan: that's part

Reegs: of his

Dan: Part of his

Reegs: You know, but then there's way more when you watch him practicing lines that he's heard that were [00:51:00] successful in other social interactions or other things that people

Dan: is why he watches a lot of TV and he uses a lot of those lines

Reegs: has special interests that he bores other people with that sort of thing. So, do that. Yeah, exactly. So yeah.

Dan: Casio. What? It was well it was short and sweet. It's 45 minutes. This obviously there's, there's more. Yeah. The, the first episode, little bit shorter and, and sweeter. It's something that I've started to really get into. Unfortunately, it is one of those, if you're gonna watch it now, you're gonna get up to episode four or five and

Sidey: I gotta wait.

Dan: fucking drip feeding you.

Although it does have

Sidey: it's Apple TV as well. So you've gotta, you've gotta subscribe to that MF

as

Dan: Yeah, you do. You gotta be in, into that area, but otherwise Yeah. Otherwise,

Sidey: I,

Dan: Mr. Apple, Steve Jobs I know Steve I dunno, Steve, but I watched this and enjoyed it.

Sidey: I

didn't get

enough out of it in this

[00:52:00] first

episode want to

watch

anymore.

I

was a little bit

knocked off course by, I didn't

realize it was gonna be like,

sort of,

Reegs: it's sick on me.

Sidey: It's, sick on me. Yeah,

Reegs: it's sick on me. A little

Sidey: kind of tone of it just kind of knocked me

for six.

when I first started watching it, I

was

like, oh,

'cause I was waiting for the murders and stuff and you know, obviously there's like you say the, the, the opposition or the different people on

the planet. are gonna get murdered. I

didn't know

that.

So I was a little bit, maybe a little bit off kilter. So I thought it was okay. I really liked David DeRouen and Alexander Scott's fit No dick

Cris: Can

I, so sorry. Can I, because this is not something that I would ever watch normally. Yeah. But does he actually murder anyone?

Because if he doesn't, I'm never watching this again.

Reegs: No. I, I don't believe I've seen any murdering at this point.

Cris: out. strong recommend, but I'm out. I really do. You know what? Honestly, I'm gonna say it because I, I, the, the midweek

Sidey: it wasn't for

Cris: do it

Reegs: was a video, yeah.

Cris: because I, again, I didn't [00:53:00] really understand anything of it because I'm not watched any of the Star Wars ever in my life.

But this was actually, it had some really funny bits. The only problem is, is exactly what you said. If you're gonna call yourself Murder bot, you better murder some people.

Sidey: Well, or well, Yeah. But You can just, you can subvert it and

Cris: Yes, I

Sidey: I was yes, I was. I was wanting murders though.

Cris: Yeah, of course. Well, that's what I'm here for.

It it, it is bad enough. You are flying into space and you have all

Sidey: Especially having, we've recently seen Alexander

Sky Garden

in

infinity infinity pool where

there was lots of

Cris: Oh yeah. That, that was, that was solid.

Sidey: and we saw, at least we saw his bum in

that one.

And

Cris: he looked in the shirt and the chinos,

Sidey: I was strapped in for more of that But

no, no. I,

this is on me. Like I

just wasn't

what I

Reegs: Yeah, yeah. It's not for you. Yeah. I think, and it is a bit of a bizarre, like mashup, it was not at all what I expected. I expected way more murdering

Sidey: and probably

Cris: like creepy, angry.

Yeah.

Sidey: Quite wider around apple's. Streaming content is kind of a bit weird as well. I don't, there's not, I [00:54:00] dunno. of all the platforms,

slow horses, everyone

raves

about. you'd

really like it

Dan: Oh, I love

Sidey: Which I, So I need

to go into that. But there's not much,

a lot on there.

Reegs: no, it doesn't grip me a lot either. It's a bit like, you know,

Dan: but they do it well.

They do it really well,

Sidey: they throw a lot of money at, it. I just dunno. that A lot of it lands. Yeah.

Dan: horses is amazing.

Sidey: Gary Allman's going to going,

to Yeah.

Dan: he knows

Sidey: a number on it.

But a lot of the other stuff they've got on there, like there's, there's series on there that I've watched from start to

finish

Only because I think at the time I was bored and I, and you know, once you get into something

Even if, even If it's a four or five outta 10, I'll just keep

watching it to the end. and I've watched it, 10, I gone. of Christ, I wasn't great. Yeah.

And I think Apple TV there's a lot of money and a lot of resource and not a great outfit all the time.

Not very consistent

Reegs: No.

This would certainly not be worth buying a, a subscription just

Cris: just for that. Yeah.

Reegs: the only thing that fits almost that category, I do like the studio.

Sidey: I've not done

That yet, actually. And I

do like Seth Rogan

too. So I would, I would enjoy that.

I think

Dan: I've not seen the studio, [00:55:00] but I have seen this,

Cris: sorry. It does say, it is not just, it says in an Apple TV production, but it's, it, it's a, it's a, I'm, I'm just gonna lie here. It says like a stage six or it's a, it's a big studio that actually makes it for Apple

Reegs: For Apple, yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Apple would've outsourced it and then just plug their name onto it

Cris: because it, I I, I, I'm not an expert by any means, but I remember at the beginning it just tells you who actually produced it and made it.

And it's just like Apple TV productions by these

Reegs: made and the bidding war comes later, doesn't it?

Sidey: Yeah,

I, I think Netflix has

got it better in terms of, they, they, were a bit better at making something that, that is

more universal that they can sell around the globe. I dunno that this is that.

Reegs: ah, it's all shit. Streaming's pissed me off, man.

Now it's just done the fucking exact same shit that Cable did years ago. It's like diversified way too far. It's too expensive for everybody. You can't watch shit because it's like, oh, you gotta have a subscription to, so you got have a script subscription to movie or something. Like, some new thing I've never fucking [00:56:00] heard of to watch something fuck off

Cris: again. You

Sidey: get a naughty

box.

Don't do

Cris: I, I, I'm not, I'm not

You know, preaching here, but that's, well

Dan: We've got we've got some toilet Scag, haven't we there? What the hell is going on there? We've

Reegs: Just changing the subject away from intellectual

Dan: problem.

Yeah. We, we've got normally, we'll, we'll have some snacks here to accompany this kind of chat.

Reegs: But this is a, a like a sort of two three inch high blue plastic toilet that you fill with what looks to be sort of methamphetamine

Sidey: of a bog brush.

It has like a lollipop. Which you

dip into the toilet bowl.

And scoop up the methamphetamine.

Reegs: We haven't

Cris: is like the, or the,

Sidey: the we're waiting for the end of the

Cris: The pink,

Reegs: gonna go at the

Cris: pink powder.

Sidey: That

is a strong recommend murder bot

is a strong recommend.

Reegs: Strong

Cris: re

Oh yeah. Very strong.

Dan: Go and watch this.

Reegs: yeah. Ridley Jones. This was, should we just go straight away and say it was a strong recommend

Sidey: Right. We had to, we had to badger you, Dan, for the

kids' choice.

Yeah. And [00:57:00] after much deliberation, you

Dan: chose,

well, we've done 500 episodes and you start scraping around for kids tv. And looking for new and original content that has some pedigree isn't as easy as I've made it look this week. When a program

Sidey: right outta the gate, Out of

the

Dan: wait a minute. A program that has five epi episode five series.

Five series, not five episode,

Sidey: went for the last episode. didn't

Dan: episode. We, and I, I really thought that the I've, I've

Sidey: right, I'll back you up on this. I think if

somebody's got five series people must

like it enough. To,

you know, there must

be demand

for

it

to be renewed.

Dan: I have never seen one episode of any of

Sidey: So I happen to be at re's gaff for dinner on Saturday night, and we hadn't seen it. And I looked it up and it said we

talked about the metrics

and it, it was

wait,

Reegs: 1.7 or something. What

Cris: for the invite, by the way.

Two

Sidey: out of right. So Two

out

of

Reegs: his daughter stayed for,

Dan: two out. Two

Sidey: two out

No, I wasn't, I wasn't, I wasn't invited out of Choice. It was

Reegs: best sex I

Sidey: so [00:58:00] we, we talked

about

1. So

the, for the voice of doubt if

you not pick this up, it's called Ridley Jones and the metrics, right? Two out of 10 on

imdb, two

out

Reegs: two out of

Sidey: 12%

on rotten

Dan: Have

we ever had any,

anything so low? We've

Sidey: watched the most catastrophic shit ever. And on Google it'll get like 80%. This is 13%

on Google.

Reegs: tell you why

Sidey: So we

looked at it and it said. that it has a non-binary

character. Yeah.

But That character doesn't

come into way later.

so I

think there's been some review bombing. Yeah. So going into it, do you know what that means?

People would so nerds on the internet would go

zero outta 10 because it's got a

gay, it's center

Reegs: of the culture wars, isn't it?

Sidey: So I went into

it going, right,

I'm gonna be contrary and like it just to annoy all the

wankers.

Reegs: Agreed. And it's still shit.

Sidey: shit. It's the worst thing ever. terrible.

Dan: they were right.

Reegs: terrible.

Sidey: terrible. Right. I,

watched it and I was

like, have they

got permission

from Spielberg, Lucas, blah, blah blah for

Indiana Jones to ruthlessly fucking like litigiously.

Reegs: it.

Eva got a fedora.

She

Sidey: does the fedora, she does the [00:59:00] sliding door thing where it comes down, where she takes it back.

Dan: It's called

Reegs: night at the museum. So let's just

Sidey: stuff. It

just Fucking, like this is, This is absolutely just stealing fucking ip. left,

Dan: And I, I have, I have picked the episode, season five episode, whatever game of

Reegs: length episode. They're normally half the

Sidey: length. game because it's the series. It's,

the ultimate series. finale.

Reegs: bet you didn't fucking watch

Dan: I fucking did

Reegs: did. And I made notes like, I can't,

Dan: I fucking

Sidey: did I watched it and then, And I, and I I had put the oven on. I thought, I'll get to dinner

once this, and I thought, do you know what?

I just kept

going in and outta the room. because it's so bad. I

Dan: say I went on my

Reegs: Yeah, of course you did.

Sidey: It's awful.

Cris: You're not gonna, oh,

Sidey: So it what it is, it's the

daughter

and the, so she's an archeologist.

It's like total bullshit. It's, it's

Ina Jones meets night the museum. meets

Reegs: I believe

Dan: Iche

Cris: CT Lara Croft.

Sidey: No. It looks like, I, noticed this when I was watching it.

It looks like all the Disney stuff. It looks like Vamp, Purina. There's a character in it, and It is the guy they've [01:00:00]

Reegs: No, it's a girl, Chris Nee. She does Doc McStuffins and all that.

Sidey: Yeah, It's dog stuff in and VM Purina And

I imagine

it's like in the dark Knight rises

where they've

kidnapped the guy Yeah.

To force him, you know,

like

Gaylen Urso.

They force them to, Yeah. to animate this

fucking awful shy Chad

Reegs: nausea shit out. Yeah.

Sidey: And I was watching it and it's so awful. And the, the plot

of this particular episode is that the mom's ex schoolmate is evil and she comes back with some characters and they do it and she has to take McGuffin stuff with the

thing.

And I was watching going, oh, it's really bad,

but it's just bad. And then

a song

crops

up and I was like,

Reegs: three songs in this,

Sidey: But in the first one, I, If we

had a shotgun in the house, I

would've killed myself. It

fucking hell. What a disaster. This is absolutely awful.

Cris: How long is this?

23

Sidey: 25 minutes.

Dan: 24 years. But it's, I I actually went gray halfway when she started singing.

Sidey: The, the one bit that

Dan: to be [01:01:00] frozen and it was, I was Oh, almost

Sidey: almost a little bit positive about It was like, that's a dodo, that's like the jersey. Yeah,

Dan: yeah, yeah.

yeah. I tried, I tried, I tried, but it

Sidey: I went

into genuinely went into this wanting to like it, knowing that the internet

hated it,

Reegs: Yeah. Agreed. I was the same

Sidey: and I couldn't,

Reegs: and I was like, oh, and the reason they hate it, it's got a non-binary cow. And I'm like, I'm, I'm fine with non-binary cows. And then I watched it, I was like, nah, this is fucking awful. Like

Dan: Internet's right.

Sidey: I thought two outta 10 was generous. 13% was generous. This I, me, it's a zero.

Dan: much time on this other than to say that when you've done 500 episodes and you're looking around for kids' content, please throw us

Sidey: what I thought was, I know. Yeah, we've,

because But we've talked about this before of wanting to like.

Pick and not wanna be a cunt about it because There'll be people on there that work really hard in it. Yeah. But all of those people are better than this and all of them could work together to make something really good that isn't this.

Reegs: No, I think you're right about the director gran thing. I think that's how it happened. They were being held at gunpoint. Yeah. [01:02:00] Turn out some derivative bullshit, some slops and

Sidey: you may never work

in this town again, but we'll give you like, some money, some salary to just

Dan: don't choke on your ambition. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: strong recommend.

Dan: No,

Sidey: No,

I, wouldn't recommend this to

anyone.

Reegs: You can't,

Cris: the first, this is the first time I've ever heard you say no.

Sidey: No, no. Re

Cris: I've been, I've been guilty probably the most out of everyone.

amount by far

Sidey: would give is the same amount of fucks that Snake might would give.

Dan: That's a big fat

Cris: Wow.

Sidey: Some norms to be decided.

Dan: Yeah, I think there's a, a title to be taken for this week.

Sidey: A, what we

need is a strong kids recommend for next

week. Yeah,

Dan: Yeah. We need something special. Something that we could actually say,

Sidey: wow,

If it's my norms. I've got a good one.

Dan: Okay. Have you got him here now or we getting No, we're gonna get

Cris: well who is it? Is it you?

Dan: it's the Discord channel.

Sidey: It's definitely not. It's definitely

not Dan. That's,

Cris: yeah. He was here

Dan: Obviously we had some crackers this week. The [01:03:00] midweek was Rogue one that's,

Sidey: unanimously loved.

him.

Cris: Yeah. Unanim loved it.

Dan: loved we've got

Sidey: other

things.

Dan: murder Bot. Which was pretty good. And we've had a load of ones that mighty Simp

Cris: that made it to number one. Yeah.

Dan: would've been proud of.

We did for sure with the kids tv.

Sidey: Well, you know,

Cris: I've only got one person to blame for that.

Sidey: Buy your money.

You take

your chance,

you

pay your

money.

That's the word. You pay your money, take

Cris: You buy your money. You pay your money.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Snake bike's gone.

Reegs: Yeah. Riggs has left the

Sidey: side, you signing

Cris: Lot of