Who is the bravest movie character of all time? It could be anyone from Rocky to Ripley to Rambo to John McClane, and that will probably make for an excellent discussion some week but right now none of these people will feature in our Top 5 Film and TV Cowards.
Dallas Buyers Club is the highly fictionalised very loosely based on a semi-true how much of it was it really though story of the life of Ron Woodruff who in July 1985 was diagnosed with HIV and given 30 days to live. The movies version of Woodruff is that of a wild and ferociously homophobic Texan loner who imports unapproved pharmaceutical grade medicines in order to extend his quality and quantity of life and in the process does the same for many others. Matthew McConaughey and Jared Leto give some of their finest career performances in this extraordinary tale focusing on the scandalously abandoned during a pandemic HIV and AIDS patient community.
Peppa Pig. Peppa Pig. From the fleeting moments of peace the portly porcine bestowed upon us when captivating our children in order to give us 5 precious minutes drooling at our phones to the fact that each of us could create an effigy of the psychotic porker 200 feet tall using just discarded plastic piglet playthings, the worlds favourite non-kosher animated land-based mammal has made an impact on all of us as parents, but none more so than one of the Dads. Sidey speaks candidly and movingly about the profoundly affecting memories he has of watching this with his son.
Come and join us at baddadsfilm.com, on Twitter @dads_film or on Facebook BadDadsFilmReview. Until next time, we remain...
Dallas Buyers Club
Reegs: Welcome to bad dads film review with Sidey, Dan, Reegs and Howie, who doesn't want you all to know that he once pissed all over a lady's wheelchair in Australia.
Howie: ah, I know who you've been talking to.
Reegs: It was pancake day today.
Howie: Nothing, nothing today, nothing to do with fishing and wheelchairs. That's not pancake day.
Reegs: Yeah. I, I mean, are you going to bother to try and explain that one or should we just not bother? Cause it was just so horrible. I R
Howie: no, I've got no recollection of it, but all I remember is somebody who I was traveling with at the time, asked to leave the campsite very early also because they were trying to escape for other reasons.
Reegs: It was pancake day today. The day that we're recording though, did you guys wake up early to see if the pancake had been
Dan: We had.
Reegs: if the pancake Fareed had left the pancake on the pillow?
Dan: in the oven? No there was no pancakes in my house. We had pancakes at the weekend. We couldn't double
Howie: Oh, we have pancakes for tea.
Reegs: the question for you? Just diehard count as a pancake fill.
I was quite excited. I had pancakes made for me at like nine o'clock this morning. It was great.
Sidey: I made them self-made
Reegs: Nice. What did you have?
Sidey: That's how the
Sidey: other hazelnut
Howie: fucking killing orangutans with Salah. You're literally killing an orangutan. Every
Reegs: Every bot. Every, yeah. Every jar has got an Orangutang.
Dan: every spoon you eat, I think.
Howie: Yeah. There's like loads of orange hairs and it's either an Orangutang or I've been Dicky different. My Dick in it again.
Reegs: Anyway, I it's all gone a bit too commercialized these days. I remember when it was all about celebrating the baby bank cake.
Did anybody watch anything good this week?
Reegs: was it universally loved horror comedy. What we do in the shadows that everybody loved, including all the listeners and everybody. I think that I can remember love to this
Howie: Well, I felt it could have been that. But for me personally, I watched a documentary that I sent you guys a link to called. Can't get you out of my head, which was Adam Curtis documentary on the BBC, which has left me feeling all discombobulated. I've used that one again for you reeks. I it's, I think it's one of six that's on the iPlayer at the minute and it's a historical documentary about how we're all fucked, really.
And, and it kind of goes on about all the conspiracy theories and how it's a load of us, but it's very interesting. It's very theorial.
Sidey: Randy Guy. If he want to watch something that will give you an alternative sort of viewpoint without having to disappear down out a stupid cue in on
Howie: yes. Yeah.
Sidey: theories. It's it's brilliant stuff. He's got a load of a load of other sort of documentary films available for
Dan: hyper normalization.
Sidey: Hypernormalization is a
Dan: was the
Howie: yeah, the the one I saw today, episode one was a big bit about operation mindfuck, where they just dreamed up the conspiracy theories and started that whole Illuminati thing in the sixties and seventies, just to wind people up and now look at it,
Sidey: Yeah, but you're watching out of the mainstream media.
Howie: Oh, yeah, I forgot. And Lee Harvey, Oswald is my dad or something.
That was the other bit I picked
Dan: were born on the grassy? No, I
Howie: I was with that guy
Reegs: with the pancake in your arms.
Dan: he could do on a Shrove Tuesday. Watched,
Howie: had a donkey.
Dan: A kind of half decent thing cause we looked for stuff for the kids, you know, after we've watched lost in space, we watched just so we could do something as a family and, or sit down half an hour.
Howie: Walmart hands around the cathode Ray.
Dan: half an hour. And we were watching a thing at the moment called the unlisted either. It's another Ozzie kind of, and they, they do it a white at the
Howie: Oh fuck.
Dan: But what I really liked about what pulled me in right from the beginning with the use of pink Floyd is another brick in the wall. Is there a title music?
And um, yeah, well, there you go.
Reegs: I love it. Sorry. The, I love it.
Dan: don't like that is it spooky too much? Cause that's quite scary.
Sidey: stand that to hate it. When I was a kid, it freaked me out. I
Dan: I remember seeing it as a kid on Saturday morning television. Probably not much older than my youngest now, like nine years old and just being blown away by it because the video was so creepy as well.
Reegs: W what's his chops from pink Floyd is a friend of my people. Isn't he? So I have conflicting feelings about him.
Dan: Just hear more.
Reegs: What's his name? And the other one Gilmore, is it Dave Gilmore? Both of them are friends of my people, so yeah.
Sidey: Okay. Going off a bit in my estimation, after your. Glowing recommendation of Greenland. I watched that, which
Howie: It's amazing. Isn't it? It's amazing. How useless is the mom? She's useless.
Sidey: is completely pointless because no one actually does anything or achieves anything.
Reegs: I love the 10 minutes where the, he keeps getting phone calls like your okay. And everybody else's fucked. And then they're just broadcasting that at him over and over again. It's so awkward.
Howie: you know that bit where she's saying, take my child, take my child. What did they just do that before the event was called? You know, just take my child. I don't want him, I don't want him to get rid of him.
Reegs: why didn't he just gun the thing and
Howie: Yeah. I would have run them over um,
Sidey: had ended with them just.
Howie: being molded.
Sidey: Well, yeah, but the screen went black and you were like, did they survive? Did they not survive? But then you, of course you get the cheesy, like optimistic
Howie: Nine months later.
Sidey: I also watched lucky Harry Dean Stanton thing on uh, prime. And I've started news of the world.
Howie: Oh, is that the Tom Hanks one? Yeah.
Sidey: Yeah. It's quite slow going at the start though, but I'm gonna stick with it cause I do like a Western, so yeah, it's got some promise.
Howie: I've been tempted to watch bone Tomahawk
Sidey: Oh, it's mate, do it.
Howie: Yeah. Okay.
Sidey: I know. So we'd not mentioned it at all, but one division fucking great.
Howie: is it
Reegs: Yeah. I slated the first two episodes and I stand by it, but it got good and better and getting better all the time.
Sidey: She's super hot.
Dan: the way, that helps. I'll watch worst damn smash. I know Scheffel United another team as well. That was, that was about my viewing this week though. So it didn't get through as much as I'd like to have outside of the wonderful things we reviewed.
Sidey: What about your race?
Reegs: We watched three identical strangers, which is an unsettling documentary.
Sidey: the second one or the third?
Reegs: It's a documentary on Netflix and it's, it's an unusual story about adopted brothers finding each other.
Howie: Oh, I've heard. Yes.
Reegs: it's a really, it's a really interesting, unusual, unsettling, ethically, crazy set of circumstances. It's worth watching.
Dan: I remember seeing that when it was coming out
Sidey: didn't we review it a few weeks back for the midweek episode. Got audio in
Dan: That's it. So what I'm thinking of.
Reegs: Yeah. Yeah, that was it. Yeah. And I watched Becky, which is basically
Howie: Your neighbor
Reegs: but yeah. It's like home alone, but remade is like, it's a little
Howie: or someone else
Reegs: now. She's just actually a 13 year old defending a house from a bunch of yeah, defendant
Dan: instead of,
Howie: her from you, defending your home from you? The whole thing was shot on the ring camera.
Reegs: I told that joke last week, and then the downloads just stopped. It's too much. It's too much. All right. So yeah, she has to defend the house, a home alone style, but it's like really gruesome.
She kills a guy by like a jacket ruler through the neck and it's got Kevin, Kevin, James, do you know Paul Blart mall cop, but but if you want to see him with his it
Dan: Yeah. Yeah, it is. I've seen
Howie: Yeah, I did. As soon as on a segue.
Reegs: What in this, he has got a huge swastika tattooed on the back of his head and he's got an enormous beard and he looks like a hillbilly and he's quite a big guy anyway.
Right. He's quite tall, quite. So he looks quite menacing until he talks. And then he's just Doug from King of Queens or wherever, you know, just something really rubbish. But yeah, it's right. It's quite good violence in it.
Howie: I, I watched a very quick one on Netflix. It's
Reegs: How quick slate to 30 seconds
Howie: 15, 15, 20 minutes bit longer. And it's one of those, let's say interviews of somebody who's serving life in jail and it across America on death row. And there was a bloke who had done all sorts of terrible things and they interviewed his brother.
And I don't think I've seen more of a hillbilly. He was driving a pickup truck and then he was pointing out various places of where he lived and he points across the road and goes. I can't do his accent justice, but he basically imagined, imagine a very Southern drawl with no teeth saying, and that's where I lost my teeth.
Then a fact, a man punched and kicked all my teeth out and he smiles at the camera and he has no teeth. And it was at this point, I thought maybe I'm watching the wrong thing on Netflix. I could be doing other things
Sidey: yeah. We need to round off last week's top. Five, which was characters that freaked you out when you're a kid? We had quite a few decent ones, but I think
Howie: Jarvis dykes. scary.
Sidey: Top of the list for me would probably be worse or gummidge which Liam nominated on Twitter.
Dan: as hell.
Howie: The Crow man, taking his head off the the scarecrow maker, the Crow man would decide your fate by snapping a twig over your head.
Reegs: I definitely had Worzel gummidge and Jimmy several fairly closely mixed up in my head at one point. And possibly in my bed.
Dan: was all gummidge was like the worst words you could shout at my brother and I'll chase him around the house regularly. cover his ears and whatnot. It spooked things out just to name, but it's a really kind of weird one. I don't know how they thought that it's not a million miles away from Jim we'll fix it.
I think in that kind of weird and disgusting world.
Sidey: right. Well, where's it coming from in
All right then, should we go straight into this week's top five rigs. I think this is your contribution.
Reegs: Yeah, I thought this was going to be easier than it was, but it turned out to be quite hard to find cowardly characters,
Howie: Yeah. And I'm not sure whether I've got cowards or people that kind of would just shift the, in horrible and turned their back on their friends in a way.
Reegs: Well, and that's all right. You can make a very loose interpretation and we'll be up for that. Cause it was hard. But the first in it, number one is the, not quite so brave as so Lancelot Serbin from Monte Python and the Holy grail. He nearly fought the dragon of Agador. He nearly stood up against the chicken of Bristol and had personally. Wet himself at the battle of Baden Hill Braves, a Robin ran away. It's brilliant. It's just brilliant. Isn't it? And he's just been followed by his
Dan: they're, who's singing their songs. They're like a little band aren't they behind him going? Oh, brave.
Reegs: Brave. So Robin ran away.
Dan: He got his head off and his eyes got couched out, but still, so, and then they kind of change all the music after he's realized, ah, I'm not having any of this. He runs away so brave. So Robin been riding away.
Howie: Right. I'll go for And I'm never going to say it says Hakeem, Phoenix, his character in gladiator who is just a fucking horrible person. The fact that he wants to Bang, his sister is obviously starts
Reegs: hard. Yeah.
Howie: you know, it fulfills a lot of your search engine history, there's rigs.
But basically he orders Maximus, decimates. Meridia sort of Russell Crowe's character. When he finds out that he's going to take his place at the, as the Caesar, if you like, he basically goes and gets his wife, gang raped and burned along with his young son. And there's the scene at the end, which is amazing as they go up into the gladiatorial arena.
He basically prison shanks him in the side to weaken him prior to the fight. And so, well, yeah, still loses that's how much you might have to come see it, I have I've revisited gladiator about a year ago and sentimental as it is and all that. It's still a pretty damn Epic film.
Reegs: Oh yeah.
Howie: obviously of me, but it is still a good film to watch.
And it it's, it's, it's a big, I think I went to the cinema to see it at the time. And obviously you appreciate the grandness and the scale of it. And the CGI has dated, especially when you see Rome and
Reegs: Yeah, but the characters are good. Like Kamau Commodus is such an asshole.
Sidey: Named Dr. Toilet as well.
Howie: comatose Maximus, Phyllis. But yeah, so he would go down as one of the most awful character.
Sidey: far from how he looked in that
Howie: I'd say he's relaxed.
Reegs: Why is he going big? Is he going big?
Dan: and commander anymore. Is he? He's he's more Paul block.
Sidey: but still
Dan: Yeah, it's
Howie: I'm still struggling to forgive him for his Robin hood accent.
Sidey: Oh, I've dodged that.
Dan: Yeah, I've
Sidey: Damn. What do you got
Dan: Well, I've got the Charlie Chaplin classic city lights which you'll remember. I'm sure. From when you were growing up 1931, it's the boxing scene. It's the boxing scene is quite famous where.
Reegs: have seen this actually. Yeah. Yeah. I
Dan: he's basically hiding behind the referee
Reegs: the referee. Yeah.
Dan: and then just occasionally pops out, gives them a boy hander and then Bob's down and kind of gets
Reegs: I forgotten about this.
It's such a funny, funny film. A saw. know, it's, it's old as old as the Hills, but chaplain was onto something. I think he could make people laugh.
Reegs: it was almost like a dark here. It was like a dance. Wasn't it? The way it's done. It's amazing.
Dan: but the way that he plays this. Bulk who really doesn't want to be in the ring against this obviously much bigger opponent w was fantastic. And he just, as I say, has this whole choreographed dance that allows him just to pop behind the referee and hide and run around the ring away from him and just ties out his opponent that way.
Reegs: Coincide. Tell us what you got.
Sidey: okay for Columbus played by irritating Burke, Jesse Eisenberg. Um, He States right up front in the movie. He has a set of rules keeping fit, traveling light not being a hero. He is a very, definitely a coward. I mean, he does have a bit of an arc way. He becomes a bit braver throughout the film, but essentially his motto is runaway
Dan: Well, he, he does become a little bit braver when the girls start coming. Doesn't he? I mean, it's funny how, how the fairest sex can bring out the bravery in, in a gentleman
Reegs: I have got hang on two seconds. Oh yes. Bill Paxton playing Simon in true lies. I got a small Dick. It's pathetic when he's
Howie: But what about his quotes? But what about his quote rigs?
Reegs: us like a 10 year old boy. I still say
Howie: again. Are you still in the writing? Is this the contents of your mind is just coming out? I don't know.
Reegs: The good dinosaur, if anybody's seen it, it's one of the less well-received Pixar
Howie: my daughter, my daughter won't watch it. She gets really anxious about it. Bizarrely, it's one of those, it's the first time I've understood how at the start of things like finding Nemo, it says warning contains more peril and you think, well, anabolics fuck off. But,
Reegs: No, but the flood is quite full on.
Howie: She gets really upset by it and she's like 10 and she won't watch the good dinosaur. My son doesn't enjoy not because of its quality or its animation. It's it's the, it's the storyline. It's that trend of him just being a vulnerable child.
Reegs: It's a bit harsh to call Arlo a coward because you know, obviously a major theme of the film is that it's okay to be scared, but find the courage to face your fears. So but yeah, it's I like the good dinosaur. It's that rare one that where the dad dies which brings in obviously he's that come from the lion King?
I had it written down before scar.
Howie: Elton John Phil Collins.
Reegs: Yeah, Scott, he was a coward. Wasn't he?
Howie: Yes. Right. I'll go for again, another cracking pronounciation attempt from the how in the film 300 F fel Tez, and he's the D I felt is a faculty's F EPH I a L T E S. He basically plays a deformed Spartan warrior who doesn't quite meet the requirements for the spotter babies. So basically the story goes spot.
Yeah. Babies get chucked off a cliff. If they're, I'm not sure. Perfect specimens when they're born. And instead of him being chunked off a cliff, when he's born his father. Yeah. Well, his father takes him in, but he's got a deformity, which means that he's when he's horribly deformed, but he can't do the Sparta thing, which is the Lance thrust.
And the shield
Reegs: The phalanx.
Howie: is that one.
Sidey: this quite relatable?
Howie: Yes, I do. I was thrown off a cliff and I wasn't rescued and I brought myself up but he basically sells out the Spartans and tells the that giant Greek Persian dude, wherever the hell he is the The Greek Persians that's the ones tells them about a past that only locals know, and that allows them to surprise the 300 and exploited vulnerability.
At the end of the movie, he clearly regrets his decision to portray Leah notice and the 300 for the sake of a good
Reegs: Well, the guy who makes chocolates.
Dan: Right. Well, I've got one woman research in this that I hadn't seen in a little while, and I was really then pleased that I kind of rediscovered it. So I'm going to revisit this heat led your film, getting where I'm going yet. It goes to no an exhibition to Sudan the feathers. Have you seen this?
You not seen this movie? Okay. So basically what happens, Heath ledger is engaged to be married. And war breaks out. He bottled it and he was sick. He wanted the F the quotes was, I was sent to fight and ran away basically. So he's given for white feathers, which is to signify cowardice back in the day.
Then he a kind of his, his mates are in trouble and he goes out to sky's himself as an hour, not very convincingly, but it goes out there anyway. And Into China for his mates and everything, but it's a, it's a really good feel, really Epic film. And it's, it's all kind of around the theme of cowardice, you know, the four favors and everything.
So it's apt for this discussion, but it was It was a novel, a w Mason novel. And this film presents, Harry hate led you in a, in a much kind of more sympathetic light than previous adaptions. But I really liked this film. There's some classic moments of real gallows humor in it as well, which I remember laughing.
Sidey: I've got C3 PO
Reegs: Mm. Yeah.
Sidey: Not only is he cowardly, but he constantly tells everyone how their plans are doomed to failure.
Dan: I've got people I work with like this.
Sidey: Name them?
Howie: shame them
Sidey: Yeah, he's just a total buzzkill and also probably unfairly made me think that all homosexuals work hours.
Howie: and metal.
Reegs: The assassination of Jesse James by the coward, Robert Ford, which I haven't seen, but they call him a coward in the dial. So,
Sidey: baked right in there. It's a S it's a slow burn that movie.
Reegs: Is that,
Reegs: and also he's a sex pest now, isn't he? Casey Affleck. So. Yeah, he did some naughty things. The painfully named Dr. Hugh man from interstellar, which Matt Damon's character
Howie: yeah, he's a
Reegs: basically everybody over.
Yeah. But clearly the biggest coward of all his Wharf
Howie: cling on.
Reegs: Yeah, the in star Trek, first contact, Picard's going completely insane. And he's saying you want to get off the ship and run away. You coward. She yelling at him. So clearly he is.
Sidey: link to warfare and coward?
Reegs: Yeah. Cause I thought it'd be cool to call Wolf a coward.
Howie: Yeah, you're a horrible man. I'm going to go for good TV and I'm going to go for captain darling from blackout. Who has managed to spend the entire war shifting a position for himself? That means he is in nowhere, anywhere near the front line until of course the very end where MailChimp fucking sends him to the front line.
And he, well, he, obviously he has to go over the top, but for most of the entire series, he has just spent laughing at others that he is sending orders off to.
Sidey: it's a desk sucking blotter, Jotter like darling here.
Reegs: I mean, basically everybody in Blackadder is kind of a coward or at least very self-interested. Yeah.
Sidey: himself is doing everything he can to avoid. Got to go to the top. You know, he's, he's a coward,
Dan: Including the old two pencils up your nose and pants on your head trick. I, and he's making a hurt is no Donny. These men are cowards. Cause we've got, well, we've got, while we're in the car and he's talking about the, the, the Nyla nihilists in the car park after all the money that they can get. And Walter wants his bag of pants back. And won't, won't take no for an answer, even if it means everybody's going to get killed because he was in Nome.
Reegs: Take the ringer.
Dan: back to being a nom, the big Lebowski, of course.
Sidey: So yesterday I was on a first aid course and they were doing, you know, going through it all. Then towards the end of the day, we got into sort of like. Major cuts and whatever. And the women during the trading said about someone who'd come off that motorbike. And they had dragged that foot on the ground and basically grated that
Sidey: and on. And she said, don't later on, actually it turns out that that, you know, they do to search on the floor and I couldn't find, so they just assumed that it had been graded off, you know, it's has gone on the deck because then later on about three hours later, someone phoned the police and said, they'd found a tow.
Sidey: you want a toe? I'll get your
Reegs: Okay. I can get you at five o'clock.
Howie: What the
Sidey: with no fucking clue what I was talking about.
Howie: he's a prick.
Sidey: Not only guilty of inspiring the name of the worst boy band ever, but he's also an appalling movie coward. He
Howie: You fancy his wife.
Sidey: Yeah. It's incapable of talking to his future wife. And I simply do not believe he would have been able to knock out Beth at the end of the film.
Reegs: Beth had a glass jaw that much was, you know, established
Howie: Mid-year mid-year
Sidey: George had limp wrists. I don't believe it.
Dan: I've been quite the,
Howie: bony Narcos bunny knuckles, temporal.
Reegs: A couple of TV ones for your perusal. I present Howard moon. If the mighty baby shoe often claims to be a man of action, but habitually, blurts out, don't kill me. I've got so much to give. Riemer in red dwarf is like the old coward. Yeah. I just examples of his cowardice, just too numerous Carter Burke from the aliens movie.
You know, I'm not sure which species is where, so you don't see them fucking each other for what did they say then fucking each other freaky for a goddamn percentage. He's a real asshole.
Howie: is that bill pucks?
Reegs: No. Paul Riza. Riser.
Sidey: Razia he leaves Knutson Ripley in that room with the face hugger today.
Dan: face hugger.
Sidey: nice move.
Howie: I've just got last one, which is chunk from the Goonies when he's being interrogated by the but by the crime syndicate.
Dan: a Canary. Doesn't it. Have it first started when I was at school and then he goes right back designee. He goes, I was
Howie: He goes all over.
Dan: born. And then this happened, this happened.
With nail, of course, is a fame, a famous kind of cars. You can read all about that. And the recent blog we've just put up. But I was thinking a little more hard hardcore actually, and I always struggled to
Howie: Two digs Monash.
Dan: one. I know I'm always thinking a little bit war movies, you know, Geez. I've never been in war, so it's easy to call somebody a coward.
And some of these films are really trying to get to the heart of what war meant and what, what it feels like. And platoon was one of those films. And at one kind of stage you've got. the, the captain there's so many, he starts pulling a body over himself and to hide because people are coming and he's that cowardice or is it just cleverness?
I dunno, one guy stabs himself in the leg. So he so he can be flown out of there and he doesn't have to return into this crazy war. Of course, some. Someone like Walter out of a big Lebowski would, would just kind of grab her a gun and start firing against all odds again. But these guys may be yang grabbed the regret as well, but these guys may be a
Reegs: There's a few war, one Susan there. There's up
Dan: Yeah, fuck up. A lot of
Reegs: talk about
Dan: up. I'm fucked, you know, because I was saving private wine who just kind of has a mental breakdown as much as anything else maybe. I don't know. Or maybe he's just an asshole or maybe he's
Sidey: Is that when the fed, I guess, stopped?
Dan: Yeah, it
Reegs: It's terrible. But you know, people are going into combat with no experience, you know, I mean, the guy was just working in an office or wherever just before, and then suddenly he's like out there, go and stop this
Dan: you know, whatever it was. I think that was Tom Hanks character. Wasn't it? He was an English teacher and suddenly he's a captain in a really gnarly kind of I've got a couple more, but you've got some there as well side.
Sidey: Yeah, I've got Dr. Peter Silberman, who is the criminal psychologist from Terminator one and two.
Dan: Yeah, I know who you mean that
Dan: slime ball.
Sidey: but then Sarah Connor beats the shit out of him with the old Bleacher, the neck tactic. And then he finally crumbles into a
Sidey: shitty pissy mess when he sees the T 1000 coming at him.
Howie: He was in the final one recently, I think. Did he have a brief yeah,
Sidey: and then a TV, one particular favorite of mine is Dr. Gaius Belfast from
Sidey: Battlestar Galactica.
Sidey: thing we see him do is steal a blind women's ticket on the last transport of the surface of the planet. And there's millions of examples of his cowardice. And also he's there a lot of the comic relief in that program revolves around him, not least the scene where he's banging an imaginary.
Cylon and when people walk past and see a master, it looks like he's just winking. fucking brilliant. It's really, really good.
Reegs: Scooby doo and shaggy are both massive cowards. As his swiper, you just tell him to stop and he does um, Frodo, Baggins.
Dan: on that theme then. Oh, even more on that theme, the Eagles Lords that are rings, they did nothing. They could have saved so
Sidey: could've, they could've done the whole
Dan: They could have done a lot. They just fucked it off. Didn't they?
Reegs: they did,
Dan: I don't
Sidey: their fight. Dan.
Dan: You got no, God, they're good. I've got it in a movie.
Reegs: The 20 boyfriend from Shaun of the dead. Who was um, what's his name?
Dan: David summit,
Reegs: was the character's name, but it was the guy from black books who I really like. And he's really funny. And I can't remember his name. Sorry about
Howie: dead now?
Reegs: Dylan Moran. Is that it?
Sidey: Thanks. So,
Dan: Is he
Reegs: I don't know if he's dead. He liked to drink. And last but not least because there were others, but I think it's probably time to wrap it up with Ash from the evil dead who sort of evolves from.
You know, just tormented through to broken down man through acts of cowardice and then to something sort of like a grizzled action hero, but there's still a pretty big vein of fear and cowardice that underpins him.
Howie: Just just Dylan Moran. Isn't dead. I'd like to apologize now for saying Dylan Moran is dead and
Sidey: Apologize to his family
Howie: yeah. For scaring
Dan: you want to come on the pod, improve it, Dylan,
Howie: Yeah. You can talk to some asshole like me and explain. My last one is Billy Zane's character in Titanic where he steals children to get on the lifeboat at the end.
Yeah. So pro self preservation. We'd all do it. There we go.
Dan: Well, we
Reegs: Kids got to be good for something.
Dan: To get off the lifeboat, um, to save spots on the lifeboat. We we've got the cowardly lion of course, in the wizard of Oz. You can't not mention Dr. Smith lost in space, which is a recent program. We just um, really kind of annoying and cowardly in the way that again, self-preservation takes charge on all
Howie: Was that the new one you've been watching, the female
Dan: Yeah. Yeah,
Howie: Yeah. She's good. Isn't
Dan: she is. She's very good
Reegs: Oh, I was thinking of the sixties one.
Dan: I, well, this, this new one, she plays it very well as well. So one that I just watched for the first time with my daughter this week was princess Boyd. And the man with. Five fingers or six fingers. I think five's fairly common. it? Um, So you must've had sex.
And he was a big coward anyway. Cause when he came to fight in the jewel and they both kind of squared each other up and there was a few bits of posturing and, and sword. Waving. And then he just turned and legged it because he didn't fancy his chances. Percy Wetmore from the green mile as well.
You remember Percy?
Sidey: yeah, he's been nominated
Dan: I really. Okay. So there's a, it's a strong shout for him because he was a particularly slimy character in the green mile.
Sidey: Another one we've just had to mentioned on mine was Donald Gennaro. He's the lawyer in Jurassic park.
Reegs: So, you know, on the toilet.
Sidey: Yeah. But I have to say his motivation for leaving those children was probably legitimate because they were fucking
Sidey: those two also got Stanley Jim Carrey from the mask is constantly being pushed around and bullied never stands up for himself.
Then excitement he has is when he's furiously masturbating under the desk when Cameron Diaz walks into the bank. And then anytime
Reegs: We've all done it.
Sidey: Any courage is when he wears the mask, which is not really him. Then I've got Lieutenant regional Barkley who is. Reggie Dwight played him in star Trek, next generation who also played Murdoch in the team.
He's kind of socially awkward, lose a machine and in star Trek. But he's not gonna make the final car. I could tell you that.
Dan: I've just got two more that I need to squeeze in. So, um, just to mention him, there's Hoggle out of labyrinth. He's mine now. So just so I could get in that wicked impression also, which is a really great film breakfast club. And you've got a young Brian in there um, in the math club. um, he's not particularly brave at doing anything, but the whole kind of theme of the show
Reegs: see a cow with though, is it
He's introverted. He's he's not willing to stick his neck out to do anything. He wants to sit in the classroom, just do the homework. Doesn't any of the rest of him, want to explore and find out a little bit more. Maybe that's harsh on him. We'll let the public decide though. Rigs.
Howie: Fuck your bully.
Sidey: so he's fat right there. Okay. Who are we going to put in for our nominations reg. So you got four. Great, cool. Howie.
Howie: Jockey named Phoenix and comatose and gladiator.
Dan: Joe was chaplain for me.
Sidey: Okay. I'm going to go see three PO and there plenty of room for another coward in our top five. Let us know.
This week's movie feature of the wheat rigs.
Reegs: Dallas buyers club.
Sidey: I was less than enthused about watching this. Yeah, it's one of those films that, you know, is. Good or really highly regarded, but you just, I just kind of put it off cause it's just, you know, it's, it's going to
Dan: it's a subject matter. That's going to drain
Sidey: yeah, it's just not something that I'm going to go for straight away.
Reegs: That's. I mean, nobody else wanted to say that what Dan said was kind of like a big that's what she said.
Sidey: anyway, what was it about.
Reegs: Well, it's got Matthew mahogany, famous Texan playing the real life. I'm sure we'll get to that, Ron. Matthew mahogany. Yeah, he plays Ron Woodruff. Who in July, 1985 is diagnosed with HIV and eventually AIDS. It's a character piece as much as anything. Mahogany looks horrendous red. He's done.
Sidey: Everyone does.
Reegs: Yeah, he's done. The Christian bale diet in the machinist and gone very thin.
Howie: yeah, I immediately
Reegs: Bail is worse. Bail is worse.
Howie: for five months yet S five. Five things. So was something like five pounds of fish, some tapioca pudding and wine
Dan: all the wine
Howie: he lost three yeah. Three yeah, three pounds, three pounds a week. He lost for five months. So,
Dan: much my diet anyway, that I know what he's thinking about.
Sidey: fucking, it may say
Reegs: was, he was.
Dan: talk about Jared Lowe as well? He, I think he lost
Sidey: that's another reason I'd put off watching this cause I fucking can't stand that
Dan: really? Yeah. In what way did it, his breakthrough thing was, um, this other life or something with Claire Danes as well. They both had the kind of same breakthrough. My so-called life. They both came through that, I think. um, I like him. I, I, I thought uh, he was, well, they'd both won or Oscars in this dinner.
I mean, there's no, no spoiler to,
Sidey: Well, what got Paul through the, the, the story, I guess.
Reegs: So Ron Woodriff is kind of Like a real asshole, basically. A hard partying drug taking casuals sex, rodeo, cowboy, electrician.
Howie: living the dream, really kind of us, every everything, that's everything I take on the careers box at school, when we did the Jake jig cow.
Dan: got his own trailer.
Sidey: this, that attrition til ages into it.
Reegs: He's always got a Stetson on and has that Texan thing of being able to always make a Stetson look, rarely call even if you know, yeah. Basically two days away from dying. And in fact, he is very close to dying because it's done through a rather clunky scene of him flashing back through partners.
He is diagnosed with HIV and he's able to put it down to one particular exchange he had with the junkie, I think was the implication. So he's got 30 days to live and. This man who is so dislikable already has no formal training or qualifications, not another person in the world to rely on no connections within the industry and no money somehow sets about saving his own life and sort of almost incidentally, a whole host of other people's lives along the way.
But that story is told in about the first 40 minutes of the movie, and then there's still like an hour and 20 minutes to go. And that was the real problem with this.
Sidey: there's a couple of bumps along the road because he has, he has his first dalliance with the, the, the big pharma drug, which effectively, nearly kills
Howie: that a Zed te.
Sidey: he's, he's having stolen for him by one of the
Dan: sorry for the Americans. There's a Z T.
Sidey: And somehow he ends up with the, basically the equivalent of the Simpson's doctor, Dr.
Sidey: puts him on the path to essentially fucking off all that big pharma nonsense and taking vitamins
Reegs: well, it's not pseudoscience.
Dan: compound Q
Reegs: of pharmacology
Dan: that wasn't approved by the fucking FDA man.
Reegs: You get the terrific sequence? I can't remember if it's the first or second time when he goes to visit them. If, when he goes in they're cultivating a culture that has something to do with butterflies and you get this incredible scene where he moves into the butterfly room and they're all surrounding him.
Sidey: did nothing for my phobia of Masa T.
Reegs: Oh bet.
Sidey: was like, ah, fuck. It's
Reegs: It's basically like that. When you go into the butterfly house at the zoo over here in Jersey, I've had one on my,
Sidey: now. I've tell you I'm a bit like, Ooh.
Reegs: but they get really pissed off. If you start fucking tweeting them with your shoe and stuff,
Howie: Or putting them in between the pages of your collection book, bag,
Reegs: has anybody got a class? Has anybody got a clap? Yeah. Anyway, so yeah, he finds this guy and he's, I didn't really quite understand the legality of all this, but for some reason he's allowed to take unapproved, FDA drugs back from Mexico to America as long as they are solely for his consumption.
Dan: It's not illegal.
Sidey: Yeah, these are not
Howie: not narcotics.
Sidey: drugs. These are vitamins and protein supplements. And as long as they are for his own personal use, then that's okay. And you know, it's, it's sort of like a comedic scene where he's in this interrogation room and there are literally just fucking crates of this stuff.
And, and the guy's supposed to believe that they are just for his personal use, but you know, you. You know, I don't have these medical conditions, but when you see people you know, documentaries and whatever they say, they talk about the cocktail of drugs that they do have to take. You know, people are taking like 30, 40 pills a day, so it's not beyond the realms of possibility that a few boxes is going to get well
down in a week
Dan: It's a bit like coming back from Samala with too many crates of wine, isn't it? You've just got to stop and say, I'm no
Howie: for me.
Dan: a party. There's a wedding going on. This is all. I'm not going to sell any of these. This is all for my own consumption.
Sidey: he also for, for more comedic effect, like dresses up as a priest or stuff like that, and, you know, pretends to be
Dan: Well, what he was saying is, you know, you've got to wear rubber soles because the song and dancing you got to do is it's got to be all the way through, you know, you've got to keep dancing if they're, if they're telling you, it's, it kind of gets to the point where you really feel for somebody who's. Taking responsibility for their own health finally, and they can't get it. A government is stopping them, getting them medication. It might keep them alive, you know, are they going to believe that he's keeping them alive, at And the, this kind of act was, you know, It was an experiment because what they were doing and what drug companies do is they give people placebos and they give half people the drugs because they need to have that data and everything that we'll find out what is really going to Um, and he didn't fancy being part of that. Did he? He was like, Oh, I'm
Reegs: No, but he sees her as a potential he's of course, very interested in the act. And he sees it as a potential route to getting some, which is where he meets Ray on
Dan: Played by
Reegs: trends and a character played by Jared Leto. And I.
Howie: who incidentally. Firstly, my wife said was, he looks quite good as a woman, his face when he was in
Sidey: just vandalized every
Howie: Yes, I have to say so. Yeah.
Sidey: I'd forgotten he was in the car. So then after I was
Reegs: I find them quite annoying sometimes, but I did think he was really, really good in
Sidey: it was fucking outstanding. And they started to say, you know, so for a guy who I find usually fairly I'm watchable, though, it was fucking
Reegs: There's a scene later on where Ray on has to approach his father in dresses as a man to do it. Yeah. Yeah. And it's such a painful scene for both of them. You can tell, but it's like really understated and
Dan: me a little bit of David Bowie and his kind of eighties years, you know, when
Sidey: let's say Mike,
Dan: China go in that kind of stuff. Yeah.
Reegs: Yeah, shit. Yeah. So,
Howie: fuck it.
Reegs: What happens next? He realizes that he he's got a cashflow problem essentially, and that he can sell to Ray on and her friends. He has a great line after the 30 days are up. The doctors are sort of still quite amazed that he would still be alive and he's building this sort of business enterprise essentially just to keep him alive, but that's expanding in size.
He's got this great line. He says I prefer to die with my boots on which I think just about Sums him up. He'd ease completely on his own. He doesn't have anyone or anybody else to care for him or anybody to care for, but he saves himself. It's really quite remarkable and eventually becomes fairly big time.
Doesn't he he's like jet setting across the world to Tokyo.
Howie: The membership going for his club, the buyer's club, it's like, they're buying, they're able to, there's almost like a court. It's a co-operative they're able to buy as
Dan: the loop hole. Isn't it? It's the loop hole.
Sidey: yeah, that he's not selling them drugs. He's part of a membership. They pay $400 a month to be in the club. And at the club, you don't get a cup of coffee. You get a cocktail if again, they're meds or
Reegs: it seems like a really shaky legal ground. Doesn't it? But at this was true though, wasn't it?
Dan: Yeah, this is a based on a true story.
Reegs: I think quite loosely based on a tree story, because the real run.
Sidey: and Eve Jennifer Garner's
Dan: No AIDS is real and HIV.
Reegs: It's real. Yeah.
Sidey: We'll just look at Holly, but yeah. Jared Leto, Jennifer Garner's characters were additions to the
Reegs: And Ron Woodruff's character was nothing like, I mean the real Ron Woodruff, wasn't a complete homophobic asshole. No, but it's, you know, he was married and a child and, you know, so all sorts of stuff. But he is a real homophobic art. So it's quite brutal. Some of the stuff he says, but eventually realizes this community.
Can help save him. And I think he's only interested in that at first, but when they turned down his money, Ray on says you don't deserve our money. For his homophobia, I think is a bit of a turning point. And there's a nice sort of redemptive arc between the two of them where he kind of accepts Ray
Dan: Particularly in the supermarket, that one scene where he he's got one of his old drinking buddies, who's turned their nose up. M it may be the
Howie: no, that's not the co-op
Dan: lot like him though. Doesn't it?
Howie: then. Yeah, I did think that the it's not the cop. That actor, by the way, is the, the guy from out of sight news.
Dan: well, He, anyway, obviously Ron's gone into the bar at one stage and they've all got wind um, he's HIV positive and they. Being there redneck stupid selves don't believe that he hasn't had been having a homosexual affair because he's got AIDS and then they're really anti well, they are homophobic
Howie: that was the thing in the eighties. Wasn't it? That was the thing because, because of the misinformation age was purely seen as a homophobe, a homosexual disease that you caught through unprotected sex or drug use with another homosexual. And that was where the most information. And, and, and that's what I thought there was meant to be also a tilt towards.
The unsaid thought, which was that big pharma, weren't doing their best to find a cure for this disease, because it was still not seen as a disease for the masses. It was a disease that was caught by the minority.
Dan: Oh yeah. I mean, um, government obviously influences big pharma and um, they never saw it as a huge problem. Even the, the adverts surrounds, you know, if, if you weren't homosexual, if you weren't a drug addict, you were quite safe from, from HIV That was certainly in the uh, pretty mainstream thought.
Reegs: It really was a scandal really. And it's only becoming close, you know, clear to me recently, just how scandalous it was that particularly this community
Dan: lives could have been
Reegs: targeted and forgotten about. You know, and there was so much shame around how this stuff is treated and the, you know, it's, it's a, it's really, it's actually a massive
Dan: it makes you, it makes you quite angry. Doesn't it? When you're just saying, well, people had sex and now they're being totally shamed Um, like they're, they're not worthy to even touch or look at or, you know, talk about it. So you can feel then Ron's anger at. The drug companies at the doctors that are pushing the pharmaceuticals and And, and then he finds this community of people that also are outsiders like him and, and suffering. And he realizes that he's actually got a. Hell of a lot more in common with these people, then what he was calling his mates a little while ago, the same people that, that kind of banished him from the bar and wouldn't let him drink with them and, and, you know, started making a mockery And that scene that comes into the supermarket where he's then with Ryan and he bumps into the chap We talked about is not being a copper. It holds him back to as an E and kind of puts him in a headlock and says, sorry, shake their hands in everything. We're going to make sure that you know, friends, we're going to make sure that you, you give them proper respect that he deserves.
Um, And this guy is left feeling pretty shell shocked. Then I like that scene.
Reegs: There's a scene after Ray on has just gone and black deload of money basically to keep the Dallas buyers club open towards the end of the film. And he gives her a, a hug there's just something in the way that hug happened. That means quite a lot, you know, it's, it's where he places his hand as a recognition of Ryan's femininity.
It's an acceptance of
Reegs: all the things he hadn't done.
Dan: that violence just gone to her father and asked for which is
Howie: and not God, because he's out to cash in his life insurance.
Dan: Yeah. So he said, I don't know whether we got that cash from the dad and he just didn't want to admit it, or it has cashed in his life insurance. I don't know which way around that work, but certainly that was the wedge to, to let Ron be surprised. But the hug you're absolutely right. Was a hug that I think resonated deeper than just money.
And it was something they said, wow, you know, we're, we're a little bit. You know, closer than we were.
Howie: I had a problem with Matthew mahogany is scene in the restaurant where he presents the doctor with the flowers that his mom's painted. Because whenever I seem sat at a table, I always think of the scene in Wolf of wall street where he well beating off and go, ah, I thought, is he gonna do that in a minute?
No, no, no. Far more serious situation coming up. it was extraordinary his performance, whether you. Have a lot of people don't really like him. They feel like it's far, he's he, when I chat to a few people
Dan: Matt, Matthew Walnut, Matthew pine, Matthew mahogany,
Howie: Matthew, Cedar they, they think of him as someone who actually is like his texts and character, the rash brash person, but I've seen him in a few interviews and I don't think he comes across like that.
Dan: think. Yeah.
Howie: But I felt. He really, he took the role clearly and became it fully when the, the method acting to his extreme with the dieting and the look and I added to, it was so hard to watch in places how vulnerable the vulnerability of his acting was amplified by his physical appearance, the thinness, the sheer Gaunt look that he had in his
Reegs: Yeah, but, but the fire, the fire in his eyes
Reegs: absolutely not going to quit. Give up, you know, just a burning fire in his eyes, even underneath all that weight loss and Haggard. Look.
Sidey: well, we, yeah, we should say that this, this film won three Oscars at one. Best well lead actor, Matthew mahogany, when best supporting actor, Jared Leto, it also won best makeup and styling. Now I think a lot of the, sort of styling and the look of people had to do with how much weight that they had lost to portray the people in the condition that they were in.
Reegs: They had no money. Did they?
Dan: won an Oscar won an Oscar for belts because they needed belts that would be able to close
Sidey: the budget for this was 5 million. So once you take out the money for the talent, that doesn't leave a lot. I don't know if you know what the budget was for the make-up
Reegs: I do know this one. I saw it today.
Sidey: and they won the Oscar for it,
Dan: Fuck me, maybe it's Maybelline. Yeah.
Reegs: it is.
Howie: well, it must've been related to the fact that they managed to make him look awful. They must have just spent it on yellow jaundice paint because when he was dipping in and out of his protein injection type thing you generally saw how ill he looked. So there must, that must have been, was
Sidey: also had no real money to light this film. So a lot of it is just kind of naturally lit or, improvised
Dan: I didn't, I didn't notice any of that negatively though. You know, it didn't look at it and go, Oh,
Sidey: No, no, I thought it would be good.
Dan: bad poorly, or
Sidey: this was a real difficult film to get made of a script for this had been in circulation for 20 years and had been turned down over a hundred times. But did eventually obviously get made into this film and I was talking about the budget. That was $5 million, but do you think it made
Reegs: Yeah, Oscar bounce makes it make huge, probably
Dan: Oh, this makes money.
Howie: Yeah, it
Sidey: Give me a ballpark
Dan: I reckon it we're looking at one 20
Howie: I know, cause I've looked,
Dan: there. That's what I
Reegs: Nice. Let's just pay that back and see if he wants to. Could you read everything?
Dan: not. What was you drew?
Howie: but you're going to get, you're not going to get widespread audiences on this because America as a whole still has an inclination to veer away from this subject.
Sidey: Yeah. Myself, you know, it's not that I like. Have prejudice views about it. It's
Howie: that's not what you said earlier.
Sidey: know, but when I'm, when I'm looking for a film to watch this, isn't my go-to kind of subject matter. It just isn't because you know, there's other things I'm looking for a bit of light entertainment or whatever.
Sidey: Yeah. But having said that I did really enjoy this actually.
Reegs: Yeah, the last T five minutes in particular. It's slightly got all of the character stuff out of the way really quickly. I really enjoyed the mahogany character. I thought he was terrific actor. That was really interesting seeing. A really bad guy doing good things, not necessarily for very good reasons, but having this huge, positive outcome on a community that, you know, it's just like a really interesting story.
It's well acted. I feel like it could have ended at any point in the last 45 minutes and it would have been as appropriate as any other place in it. It just kind of didn't have an ending. And so I don't know. I think. I think it could have lent a bit heavier, heavier into stuff, but yeah. Great performances from Carnegie.
I'm not sure it is the transformation transformative performance because although physically it's really something and he's obviously really passionate about it and it is well acted. It's kind of a character that I think how he, like you said, largely has some of his home town, you know, the brashness and cockiness and arrogance and being a Texan, there were all things that Matthew mahogany can do pretty well.
Dan: I th I think that often makes actors. Attracted departs though, you know, it, when they, when they can find uh, a little part of them within that character and then explore that and bring it out. And I think he's brilliant actor, Matthew McCall now, um, to. Not only do that, he's done some shit. Let's, let's not forget he's done some real bad films. um, to, to go from, from, I dunno how to lose a guy or, or some kind of other stuff that he's done, which is pretty. So, so to this I thought was, was really good up in the Oscars. He was up against. I think DiCaprio, he was up against, 12 years a slave guy. I forget his name.
Reegs: Steve McQueen.
Dan: no, the, the actor, well,
Christian bile, I think it was up against Christian Bible. Um, The Baylor.
So, you know, top quality actors obviously, but. I really thought this was elevated to a really good movie because of the performances of the actors. even the, the actor who played , the doctor. I forget her name again.
Reegs: it's Jennifer Garner, because I kept thinking I would, I thought it was Hillary's wink all the way through.
Sidey: No, she was going to be in this, but gunned it
Reegs: she was pathetic that cause she was one of the things that pissed me off. She was like, what was, she was utterly
Dan: Well, no, I didn't
Reegs: didn't feel like a real human being and did nothing. And also I wondered why they couldn't find any gay doctors. There weren't any gay doctors in the eighties that could have helped us.
This stuff where you gate doctors, you let you let yourselves down.
Dan: I, I really, you know, eighties was like a, A killer, a serial killer in the eye. He said, the police didn't want to stop. You know, there was this just kind of all let's carry on. As we said before, less, it's not, our problem is killing just gay people and drug addicts.
Anyway, until it started to actually. Affect people who started to talk about it and shout about it and do other things. The fact that it's taken so long to make this film is a little bit annoying as well, because it's such a, it does, it speaks volumes. It's it's, you know, it's the kind of film that should have been made in the eighties.
Let's face it. You know, it should have been made soon, too sweet after this becoming a parent let's, let's make some big noise about this and they didn't.
Shane starring or something
Dan: exactly. You know, who would have been Tom Hanks or ill? He did Philadelphia.
Reegs: On a,
Dan: He did for the day, our
Howie: Still own.
Reegs: I can be very nuanced.
Dan: would beat up van Dom? Uh, you know, we could add some brilliant people
Howie: I caught it off a fucking junkie.
Dan: We should just get into that. Shouldn't be
Howie: It was not time. I was banging Stallone.
Dan: actors who should never play the part.
Howie: well, that's the review Bruins.
Dan: that's another, that's another section. Um, but I really liked this , I'd seen it before. I watched it again, like you Sidey. It was one of those films. First time round. I was a little bit, Oh shit. I'll watch it. I thought. Okay. You know, it's one, the Oscars.
I like my Honda. Hey, let's go for it. Really enjoyed the film. It was probably about eight months ago. I watched it nine months ago. So to watch it again so soon after it wasn't as
Reegs: What'd you mean? So soon you could have had a baby in that
Dan: I could've. Yeah. Didn't
Sidey: How we wrap up for us.
Howie: yeah, it's a good film.
Dan: here we go. That's what I was saying.
Howie: A film that I watched within trepidation because you know, it's going to have an ending that is going to be quite sad and more beds. The subject matter is obviously very
Howie: yeah, that might not be the word I was going to use, but it draws back on the time in the late eighties and nineties, when it was a big, big media thing.
Especially in relevance to what we're experiencing the minute with another virus. And it's interesting to see the parallels in kind of how cures and vaccines and stuff like that are running and seeing the urgency now compared to what wasn't then. So yeah. Astonished at Matthew Mohan harmonies transformation physically.
And I was impressed with his performance and with Jared Leto as well, who likes ID? I find him quite a difficult person to watch in films. So yeah, thanks for that choice. It was something very different for me to watch and my wife and I both thought it was it was a decent value.
Sidey: Yeah, I enjoyed it. I'm glad that I've seen it. I will give Jared later. This one, there was a good. Performance, but I still don't like you. yeah. I agree with you of exit could have ended sooner cause it kept
Howie: yeah. If only he died earlier. Yeah. That would be way better.
Sidey: it would just stop and it would say day,
Howie: Day three dead.
Sidey: day, 10,000 day, you know?
And you're like, yeah. Okay.
Reegs: I get the point. He lived a bit longer.
Dan: was given 30 days and you basically wanted just for him to have 30
Reegs: Do you know what my wife said? The same thing earlier and I was like going, Oh, but, so if I said to you right now, you can have 30 days or seven years. Cause she was a bit like, well, what did he really do?
Howie: she would be gone. She would be out of that door rags. She would be out of the way. Goodbye rigs. I've got 30 days go look after the kids. Oh, I'm off. I'm off, down the pub. One way ticket to Rio of war.
Sidey: but anyway, it was decent and you can catch it on Amazon prime, if you so wish.
Right. The peg, it's time to talk about the peg
Reegs: Yeah. Yup. This was pepper pig Chinese new year.
Sidey: Very topical.
Reegs: because it was Chinese new year, the year of the does anybody know?
Reegs: what is it? The what, what is the characteristics of a year? That's got an ox in it.
Sidey: shit. Swear. It wants
Sidey: don't really know.
It doesn't really matter. It's all made up.
Reegs: Our episode opens on the school with slutty, gazelle, Madam gazelle. She is sliding it up big time as she always does with that accent. Um,
Howie: Mr. Bull.
Reegs: we're learning about Chinese new year, which means fireworks, which means Mr. Bolton's up with a load of fireworks and
Reegs: They sweep the floor for some reason. And then
Howie: are pissed on it. Yeah.
Reegs: about the bad luck, three pounds of
Dan: the bad luck. Yeah. Chinese
Reegs: then they hide the brushes because that brings it
Sidey: sweep out the good luck that you
Reegs: right. Then, so this was the episode they use to launch big in China because obviously pepper was banned there for a long time for inciting violence.
Dan: what was that story?
Sidey: She didn't what.
Dan: didn't know that.
Reegs: So in May, 2018 pepper pig was blocked from online video in China, after becoming associated with the gangster subculture. Um, yeah.
Dan: light lit triads or something. Cool.
Reegs: I think it was like, you know how you could get on YouTube, you would put pepper pig in and it would come up with like the visuals, but it was like somebody talking about somebody being killed or something like that.
Yeah. Yeah. Anyway Chinese U year, they all learn about the lucky character of red and demand to be extra lucky. Then astonishingly pepper offers to share. The extra luck that she somehow got as a result of wearing red with the sheep in a major departure from her usual characterization. So it has been awhile.
Sidey: bitch normally.
Reegs: I haven't seen it for a while. Maybe. Yeah, she is. She's a cunt, but maybe they've turned it down.
Sidey: father. She's a real fucking sport bitch and she fucking gives her dad a real hard time.
Reegs: Yeah. And on the one hand, he is just a massive . But on the other hand, he's just made out to be such a massive Twitter all the
Sidey: funny you say that because when I was watching it, it's asked me with my daughter and she had pepper it's me. And then daddy picked him. When should I ask you? Oh, fuck off the big fat guy.
Dan: I like daddy pig. He's a bit of an expert. I always think I'm a bit of a daddy pig.
Reegs: Yeah. Well, I suppose,
Dan: I've. I've been called worse.
Reegs: thanks for everything.
Dan: Well, yeah.
Sidey: I mean, I think the most key thing we should point out here is this was six
Dan: Yeah. Yeah.
it's it's right
Dan: it's right up
Reegs: is going to get,
Dan: it's right up there with winning times.
Reegs: In the plot. I did miss the next bit because what it says on my notes is I was typing this something to do with the dragon and a giant inflatable sausage. Maybe
Howie: yeah, they make a Chinese dragon head and wear it around the classroom. And then Mr. Bell appears with the box of fireworks, cause the kids go outside and it's dark and she's kept them at school for way too long. And then they go outside and Mr. Ball demonstrates a very high level, lack of health and safety.
Reegs: Yes. Well, at first they've watch a single sort of drab firework, and then it goes more mental than Raul moat. Doesn't it. And everyone loves Chinese new year.
Sidey: mashes the if I were a button over and over and over again, so you get, but it's the fireworks going off, which is how it should be
Reegs: Yeah. So what was it like revisiting the pig?
Dan: Well, I thought this was six minutes of. Quality child time, to be honest. The, the pig works. Let's face it. it's over time. We know that it's been overdone now. Um, and overexploited financially and fruit toys and all the rest of that shit. Yeah. But there's something that taps into it is actually still makes me laugh.
It still makes me smile. They've got characters like daddy pig and, and, and the little kids are always admissible and, and all the rest of them. They're just a liner too. And for what, five or six minutes, I actually think this is genius. This show. I don't want to think it's genius because I know it's got all that commercial shit with it,
It's made so much
Sidey: $1.3 billion a year.
Reegs: a year.
Dan: I wish it was kind of really small and nobody knew about it. Just me and my kids. And we were like enjoying it. I would enjoy a hell of a lot more. Not knowing that it's this kind of huge, massive money making pig, but it's good.
It's good. It is for me. Anyway.
Sidey: I would say that about the merge because of the way it's, I'm not going to, I'm going to say crudely drawn, but it's, it's that way on purpose. So you can churn it out quick, really quick. Is that the, the toys of. The pig or the most accurate representation of that cartoon selves that you can
Reegs: you think so?
Dan: they're pretty solid.
Sidey: of all the
Sidey: toys that are available for children's playgrounds, these ones fucking nail it. Absolutely nailed
Dan: Loads. Emoji shits are pretty good.
Sidey: shit. I don't.
Reegs: you've got all of them.
Sidey: And when you, because you would, you probably guys probably had the same thing. I don't know, but you would be gifted. So you would already have some pepper pig stuff and then a birthday present, you get, Oh, there's a new car set out or there's a new house, but it would come with figures as well.
So you'd end up with like 20
Sidey: and a hundred Susie sheeps and fucking knows them, or they just fucking all over the place. But yeah, a few of them and the what's the zebra called, I
Sidey: It's it's tempting to fucking Slater and want to be ill fucking it's fucking bollix. But it's got some nice qualities about it.
Sort of trying to teach kids a thing or two, I mean, this one at the example of sharing where Susie sheep's being a fucking little whiny bitch about not having
Dan: did they actually say that whiny bitch in it? I can't remember.
Sidey: yeah. Explicitly.
Howie: in the credits at
Sidey: This, this particular show formed a very specific part of my old morning routine in the in the old days.
So so what would happen was I would get up really, really early. I would. Get breakfast ready for my son and all of his medication. And then I would go into his room, get him up and we would come downstairs and I'd just be out of time. I'd give him all his medicine. We ate breakfast together and then he would call over and put his head on my lap and we would watch a couple of pepper pigs together, just the two of us.
So he's obviously not with us anymore. So for me, This has got really specific nostalgic memories for me. So I'm definitely not going to fucking
Howie: Hm, pepper pig has a lot of credit in the bank with all of us at various stages. For me, it was a distraction tool beyond belief when we were car journeys through to various cat French campsites, and my particular pepper pig highlight is being pulled over by armed police for speeding down a French highway, who they were waving their guns at me.
And I'm in a. Family wagon during 140 kilometers an hour. Cause we gonna miss the fucking boat. Quote unquote, I get pulled over by the gendarmes. They opened the door and then there's two kids. There's two kids in the back with iPads and full volume of dah, dah, dah, daddy pig's account. and there's me hunting around the car scrambling for 90 euros in cash because they do it on the spot.
Fine. And I am literally pulling Euro cents underneath the fucking pillows in the back, looking around in naps, the bags for things, but pepper pig has a lot of credit in the bank. So yeah, it's, it's a dead set winner. I have to say from a preference points, I have to say for a preference point of view, we veered away from pepper pig and became more Ben and Holly fans, which is obviously controversial,
Sidey: It weighted me out that they had the same voices. So
Sidey: there are several questions that need to be asked about the pepper Peggy universe. what are they cooking on their barbecues?
Reegs: Well, it they're vegetarians. I think aren't they?
Sidey: but they base it, whether they be the vegetarians or cannibals.
Why is there only ever one set of grandparents?
Reegs: I know
Sidey: laws preventing inter-species coupling.
Reegs: is, this is, this is really weird this bit. Isn't it? Let's be honest in species. Coupling should be allowed in the pepper pig universe.
Howie: but there is, I'm sure there
Sidey: it in Douggie, but you don't have it. You don't have it in
Reegs: Well, no, isn't the giraffe. Isn't the drafts parents, a crocodile and something else. Why do they all have both eyes on the same side of their face? That's the question.
Sidey: why doesn't George fit the alliterative species naming scheme.
Sidey: Why is pepper? The only one to have a unique name.
Why do mommy and daddy peg get called mommy and daddy pegged by their
Reegs: Yeah. Have they always been called that? Like even when they were born.
Sidey: like Dave and
Dan: just in fun of
Howie: he's the daddy
Dan: is it any time?
Reegs: Asthma is Mr. Pate, potato, literally a giant walking, talking sentience potato. That's the,
Howie: which, which they always enjoy eating. So they eat Sensient potatoes
Sidey: And why do they have a doctor and the vet?
Howie: cause they have pet
Dan: a vegetable gets ill?
Reegs: One, the thing I've always liked about pepper pig is that they do one of those things that they do in cartoons, where they wait for night by staring at the sun until it goes down.
Howie: Donald Trump
Dan: until their eyes fail.
Reegs: and I, I do really quite like the fact that often there will be some sort of, I was going to say joke, some sort of vaguely comedic. Sentence and everyone just collapses on the floor with hysterical. Laughter
Sidey: roll around
Dan: or they, Oh, they splash in puddles.
Reegs: yeah. Or they make massive proclamations. Exactly. Like everyone loves, you know, knifing, homeless people did that.
Sidey: with my questions. Why, why are all the animals the same size? Irrespective of their species and why are their jobs so unrealistic
Reegs: what'd you mean?
Sidey: with daddy? Pigs, architectural skills are not suited to his role. Mommy picked just bashes the key pad on a computer, things like that, but there is an answer to all of these questions.
Dan: before you get, before you give us the answer. Who's the lady who got all the jobs in everywhere.
Reegs: miss rabbit. Yeah.
Dan: she's busy. Yeah.
Sidey: Peppa is actually an infant human child, and this is all a game of make-believe and all the things that, the reason they're all so crude is because it's a child's brain interpreting these things in the way, a fucking idiotic child world. That's why it is presented in the way it is on the screen.
Reegs: Okay. Yeah, I'll buy that for a dollar.
Reegs: Donna Jean Rutledge on Amazon was reviewing the book the book of this particular episode, she says, there's controversy. The pagoda in this book uses the word pagoda, but the illustration is a picture of it. Cuisine. No, no, I'll get you
Dan: done you for spot in
Howie: Fuck. Yeah. When was the BBC learn? When will the BBC learn their
Reegs: she was outraged but that she still gave it two stars.
Sidey: All right. So there's not one.
Dan: it's not a quick, it's not a totally criminal offense to misinterpretation a pagoda to a gazebo. What's another one. You've always got another one. Interpretate. Is that not really a
Howie: And, Pretty tight and Brie tight and pretty tight.
Dan: asked what you say after you drank half a bottle of port during this podcast in jeopardy? It is,
Sidey: right then let's sum up. This is good, even though we all want it to hate it. We all don't hate
Howie: That's that's fair enough.
Sidey: Right. That was all lots of fun. Talking about AIDS and annoying pigs. I've got some nominations for you this week, so we're going to do top five movie guns.
Reegs: Oh, nice.
Sidey: A movie of the week is on Netflix. It's directed by Olivia Wilde and it's called Booksmart.
Reegs: Oh yeah. Okay, cool.
Sidey: It's an out and out comedy. And I was racking my brain. I don't think we've actually done one of those. We
Reegs: Dallas buyers club.
Sidey: and Kids slash family entertainment of the week is the Simpsons. And we are watching Homer at bat, which is, season three, episode 10, something like that. Those of us with Disney plus can't get hold of
Howie: well, episode was okay.
Sidey: It's called Homer at bat,
Reegs: And make sure you've all removed your sideburns
Howie: I'm looking forward to this already.
Sidey: so should be a real laugh right next week. But for tonight, all that remains is to say, Saudi is signing
Reegs: Yeah, rigs
Dan: Dan's gone.
Howie: How are you? Goodbye.