Triangle of Sadness & Shape Island

Triangle of Sadness

Reegs: Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review back once again to lower the collective IQ of the human race. One terrible opinion at a time six years and 80,000 downloads later. Somehow we're still here, like herpes or crippling debt.

This week we're getting into shape, and by that I mean we're discussing geometric forms, not addressing our collective dab bods because that would obviously be ridiculous. We'll open things up today with our top Five Shapes, countdown, which promises to be as pointless as a circle and about Sharp as a sphere.

Our main feature comes from Ruben Osland as we discuss Triangle of Sadness, a movie about gender, politics, privilege, and power dynamics, which shows that the rich and the beautiful are every bit as worthless, empathetic as you are. And we finish things up with a look at Apple TV's Genial Stop Motion Animation Shape Island.

Now it's time to introduce the human equivalent of participation trophies that will make you question the entire concept of free speech.

Starting with Dan, he's so old. He witnessed the invention of the wheel and immediately complained. It wasn't square enough. His [00:01:00] give a fuck Oter broke decades ago, and he's never bothered to get it repaired because he couldn't give a fuck.

Dan: Zero fucks

Reegs: in second place. It's handsome, Chris. His cinematic preferences are more limited than the quadriplegic stance moves, and he brings the same energy to film viewing that most people bring to their own colonoscopy. Yeah.

Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: And then almost at the finish line, it's the freshly shaven sidey after years of hiding behind facial hair, like some sort of hairy hermit.

You are now completely hairless from the eyebrows down, aren't you? Yeah. Yeah. And then there's me. Hello?

Sidey: Yeah, it's time to shave the beard.

Reegs: It's gone. It's gone, man. Yeah,

Dan: It's taken years off you

Reegs: It has, yeah. You did. You look much younger.

Sidey: Yeah. It's gone back though. Is

Reegs: Yeah. When? Straight away? Yeah.

Dan: End of the pod. He'll be back.

Sidey: I just needed a break from Ash.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: How, how, how many weeks was that worth of growth?

Sidey: Five or six years, I'd say

Dan: five or six years of weeks. Yeah.

Cris: Yeah, but you, you trim it and

Sidey: you Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cris: [00:02:00] shape. It's not just like an explorer

Sidey: that

Yeah,

I want to go streamlined for my walk.

Reegs: Yeah. 'cause you completed the island walk.

Sidey: did. Completed the island walk, yeah.

Dan: Which is you know, the, it is the island is so it doesn't take that long. But it wasn't Sark, was it?

It was a big island. The island of Jersey.

It

Cris: hottest day of the year as well. So

Sidey: hours and 31

Dan: Was it the longest day as well? Was it the longest, hottest day? Yes, it was the first

Cris: Yeah. The,

Sidey: Equinox. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: it's quite an effort.

Reegs: How, how long? 17 hours.

Sidey: Official timing was 17 hours,

30 minutes and 50 seconds, something like that. Strava time,

Reegs: miles.

Sidey: 48, 48 0.1. The Strava timer was 50 hours, 51 of moving, but I stopped for a pint and various like

Cris: gels and,

Dan: 50 15. Oh God, I it 50, geez.

Sidey: so I started at three in the morning, got in about 25 state. Yeah, it's hot, fucking hot.

Dan: Tremendous effort

Reegs: Saturday as well.

Dan: was

Sidey: it was, yeah, it's right.

Dan: [00:03:00] There was a few that did it and there was about 300 finishes something there.

Sidey: was 1003 started. It apparently 30% dropped out and I came 341st and the relay team that I was in came ninth.

Dan: Wow. That's strong. So

Sidey: that was decent.

Cris: Yeah.

Reegs: And we should mention Pete made a valiant effort. He didn't quite make it all the way around,

but

Sidey: been well. So he, he did a good shift about probably half of it.

24 miles, so

Cris: and he, yeah, as we know, he doesn't deal with heat.

Dan: Well, he, he will be back stronger next year. I'm sure.

Sidey: maybe we'll do it again. Maybe we'll see. We could do a bad dad's relay team.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Well I'll just cartwheel the whole thing.

Reegs: You cartwheel? I can't cartwheel. I've never cartwheeled.

Cris: but it looks like, you know, like a 40-year-old man

Sidey: I, I'm with Erie. I've never even tried it.

Reegs: I've never done it.

And I, there was a point about 10 years ago when I realized like, fuck, maybe I'll never do a cartwheel in my

Sidey: You won't now why?

Reegs: Well,

Cris: I've done it, but I, I, look, I'm not claiming to do like a one hand or something and my, you know, [00:04:00] if you look from, from the side, it won't, I, I won't look straight. My legs will be like that and it's not gonna be like a full on.

Sidey: on.

Reegs: Yeah. But still I,

Sidey: a no rep.

Reegs: no, we're not gonna be judging your form.

Sidey: We are still

Reegs: do it. Can you do key? You cartwheel down?

Dan: I can cartwheel.

Reegs: Can you, you do one now?

Dan: Yeah.

Cris: Not in the man cave.

I wouldn't,

Dan: no, I could just cartwheel right over all this.

Sidey: I would definitely do myself a mischief if I tried that. this time

Reegs: But if you're a late cart wheeler and you've learned and you're at and let us know,

Dan: I'll, I'll throw in a cartwheel tomorrow.

I'll video it and I I'll send it to you. Okay. To you on the

Sidey: WhatsApp. Does anyone watch anything that wasn't homework related?

Dan: No, I didn't even watch homework. I

Sidey: know you didn't. Yeah,

Reegs: I saw Strays, which is a sort of like, talking dog movie, but with Will Ferrell and Jamie Fox. So it's all sweary.

It's like air bud or something, but

Sidey: X-rated.

Reegs: Yeah. And lots of shagging, you

Sidey: sounds good. Is it good?

Dan: stuff.

Reegs: Is it good? I don't know. I

Sidey: Would you prefer Air Bud?

Yeah,

Reegs: Yeah. [00:05:00] 'cause that

Cris: shagging sofa, so they're not shagging other dogs, they're just

Reegs: It's a lot of other dog shagging. There's a key moment that revolves around the sexy female dog talking the

Sidey: what breed

Reegs: she's a, she's got maybe a German Shepherd.

Okay.

Sidey: Okay.

Reegs: Yeah. And she's her, she's gotta talk this other dog into getting a big erection so he can

Sidey: lift these keys off.

So

Reegs: if that's the sort of humor that you would

Cris: Is that humor or is it gonna go further than that? Because you never know. I dunno.

Reegs: I dunno. Bring your tissues is what I would say, Chris. Yeah. Mm.

Sidey: That's it.

probably Chris?

Cris: I don't think I was anything. I was busy and I was, I had a few bits to do, but I, it was one of the evenings where I was randomly at home and I didn't do anything.

And I I've got, because I've got all these channels at home on the, on my tv there's a channel that continuously

Batman movies.

Sidey: Amazing

Cris: So

Reegs: tv. Just

Cris: honestly,

all the Batman's ever invented. There's [00:06:00] one for Marvel movies. There's one for, I don't, I don't know how even I managed to find this.

Okay. But I've, I've caught the end of

Batman begins or something like that. And then I waited for the credits and all that, and it went to the dark night. So I watched, not the whole thing, because obviously it's long, but I watched maybe half of halfway through.

Sidey: Have you seen it before?

Cris: yeah, of course. But that's just something that I, I, I just kind of thought, well, it's Batman.

It's,

Sidey: Amazing.

Cris: Yeah.

Dan: So yeah, it's an easy one to get

Cris: it's, it was a good one as well. Like the Dark Knight is one of the good ones rather than

Sidey: Hmm. I what did I wish I found? Time to watch one episode of the Bear. They cater a kid's party and accidentally drug the drink and all.

It's really funny. All the kids are quite unconscious and the dad, they're like really worried. And the dad's like, eh, I don't hate it.

Cris: I also watched, the thick of it.

Sidey: Oh, right, okay. Start that

Cris: I watched. The first two episodes. It's a bit slower than the other one, the first two.

Sidey: with it.

But

Cris: it,

[00:07:00] But you, I'm, I'm gonna stick to it. It was just that I think it was too fresh from, from the Loop and I was just a bit tired and it didn't really get the same, like straight into aggressiveness, but I think it'll

Sidey: pick up. Yeah. Yeah. I got the algorithm gave me a super cut of Malcolm Tucker just swearing at people.

So Good. I also watched, there's a new series on BBC of Adam Curtis documentary series called Shifty. Right. So I watched the first episode that, what's

Reegs: that one about?

Sidey: This one's focused on Britain when the conservators take over with Thatcher and moving forward from there. Good times.

yeah.

Yeah. It's not at all like dystopian, like Misery Fest. And then the f 'cause are you familiar with his stuff? Yeah. It's all archival footage that he then. Pieces together and puts that into the story that he's telling. And the very first bit of footage is Jimmy Sel with a load of kids introduced him to Margaret Thatcher and going through the store and then closing the door behind him.

You're like, fuck him. It's just absolutely, [00:08:00] he's just the weirdest looking kind ever. Oh, Baron. Anyway, shall we crack on with

Dan: With shapes? Yeah. Well that's, that's a shape,

Cris: you have to start because it's your, it's your shape, not suggestion.

Reegs: Okay. Well, I'll go

Cris: and you've got a great shape as well, so

Reegs: you. Yeah, yeah. I call this round I'll go with the shape Michael Myers character from the Halloween series. I've talked about my love of this series before, but, so I won't go on too much about it.

But his character is referred to in the screenplay and by John Carpenter as The Shape,

Sidey: Didn't know that

Reegs: of formless evil, a sort of blank slate of evil for you to project your own horrible fears onto. So the Shape

Dan: The Shape, is this a, a round table discussion we're having? It

Reegs: can be.

Cris: you do whatever you want done.

Dan: Otherwise, we're just gonna be going around in circles, aren't we? I, I would say well, Mr. Blobby, blobby, blobby was obviously a shape, isn't he? And the Blob is as well. But the shape of water, if we're gonna stay [00:09:00] to the, the shape theme Yeah. Fucking

Sidey: movie.

Dan: That.

Although it's, it's got lots of different shapes in just within different bits of the film. There's different,

Reegs: it's more there in the

Dan: tables. It's more there in exactly that. Yeah, exactly that side. Over, over to yourself, Christophe

Cris: I've got an actor who has changed his shape as in the way he is in shape, okay. For movies, which is Christian Bale. I know he's the most obvious one, but because obviously there's been his documented, his, his, the way he gets in shape

Sidey: Yeah.

Or Fat

Dan: Knight, the machinist,

Cris: and then he go, or he loses weight or then he goes for the one that we did

Dan: for Vice Vice

Cris: where he's like, just like a fat old Dick Cheney and

Sidey: Machinist. He looks like dangerously. Yeah. Like Unhealthfully

Cris: store. Yeah. And then he's in American hustlers. He's quite

chubby in that as well. And,

Sidey: he got a comb over in that? Yes.

Cris: [00:10:00] yes. He's like,

Reegs: an incredible

Sidey: comb. Strong. Yeah.

Cris: It's strong. So, so from, from being in incredible shape to. Outta shape or death's door. I thought it would be, I know it's the, the most obvious one.

I know there's a few others

Reegs: Yeah, it's a good one.

Cris: up and down in weight, let's say, but it's,

Dan: well, de Niro used to be famous for it, didn't he? And he, he was raging bull.

Sidey: the famous one.

Reegs: Brando was famous for being out of shape.

Dan: Yeah. Yeah. I was just thinking though today about his he sent out that North Amer that American Indian lady one time, didn't he?

Sidey: pick up his award?

Yeah.

Dan: pick up his award. And you just think how well Brando is kind of aging with hi the things that he stood for and the way that he went about his own life and the fame and everything, how he handled that. And you just think everybody was. Easy to pop at him then and go, oh, you've got it all wrong.

But just how, what it's

Reegs: being shown to be on the right side of the debate.

Dan: Yeah, I think so. [00:11:00] Yeah. Yeah. That was nothing to do with shapes, but Brando.

Sidey: Well we watched Cube, didn't we, for the midweek, and I was thinking of other squares and

Reegs: Oh, there's so many different types of

Sidey: we had small cubes that are not so nice. There was the puzzle cube and hell raiser.

Reegs: Yeah, well hell Raiser's got good shape content 'cause it's also got a lozenge, which is a rhombus that has two acute angles and two obtuse angles. I've got a picture of it here 'cause and this beams out.

Sidey: Oh yeah. yeah, yeah.

Reegs: suffering.

Cris: Oh,

Dan: okay. Yeah, I like that.

It's

Reegs: called a lozenge. That's interesting, isn't it?

lozenge.

Sidey: I thought they were throat

Reegs: Yeah, no, you, it is actually a lighthouse of pain.

Dan: Sorry, what was the film you originally said then?

Sidey: Hell raiser. Hell raiser.

Dan: raiser.

Sidey: Raising hell with the flavor. And another one that was not so great, but a bit more trivial was the pain cube from June.

Reegs: I still haven't seen the June

Sidey: You would just basically had to put your hand in it and see the, the Benny Jesuits would see how much pain you could take,

Dan: [00:12:00] Yeah.

Sidey: as a test. And then there was a not Well, the Tesser Act was in a cube. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: It was a four dimensional cube. I think it was supposed to be,

Sidey: It wasn't, wasn't, it wasn't neither good nor evil. It just depended how you harnessed it all.

Dan: It's a really

Reegs: and the all spark.

Sidey: Yes.

That was a McGuffin, yeah. Was that cube? Probably, yeah.

Reegs: it was

Dan: A lot of films. There's some really good angles there. Yeah.

Reegs: And I also, the little blue cube that she has in Mo Holland Drive.

She uses, she puts the key into it and then she turns, remember she just disappears.

Sidey: That's right.

Reegs: Puts the key in, turns the, in the blues

Sidey: is that when it goes back to a different kind of story

Reegs: and it just, and it cuts to somebody else playing her, Somebody comes in and she's disappeared

Sidey: fuck?

Bonkers. So that they were my cubes.

Reegs: Yeah.

I've got some spheres.

Sidey: Go for it.

Reegs: it. Well, there's sphere which was the Barry, Sharon Stone, Sharon Stone, Dustin Hoffman, Samuel Jackson. They find like a

Sidey: from Mars or

Reegs: of the sea. It's been [00:13:00] there for thousands of years or something. Pretty effective sci-fi mystery with a really bad ending.

I remember that. And then obviously you got the floating orbs in Fantasm. The death star is a sphere. The crystal ball in Labyrinth and then I was, it made me think about absorbing 'cause we've got a hamster.

Sidey: yeah.

Reegs: And they get in the ball and it's like hamster absorbing in it basically. So

Sidey: you have absorbed

Reegs: No, I haven't,

Cris: What is that? What do you mean?

Sidey: It's like a big inflatable ball that you get in and in the hamsters so you can, yeah, so the hamsters obviously have their little plastic ball that they run around it, but you can get

Reegs: human sized. It's basically human sized hamster ball.

Dan: football,

Reegs: and you run around and it maybe crash into others orbie or go

Cris: what it's called? That thing?

Sidey: Yeah. Right.

Cris: Okay. I, I've, I've played football in like in the

the

inflatable thing, right?

Sidey: Yeah. We got booked in and sagia, I was like, do

Cris: is that what it's called? Absorbing?

Sidey: Absorb football. That would be absorbing where you just run around and get bashed around.

That's absorbing

Cris: name? I thought it would've

Dan: did it come from Greece, [00:14:00] absorb the Greeks? No did,

Reegs: in armor of God, the Jackie Char movie

Sidey: Oh, I, I watched that this week.

Reegs: And there is some absorbing in it.

Sidey: I didn't get that far into it. It was, there's this really racist at the start.

Reegs: And in diamonds are forever for you Bon fans. There's a bit, he's in a well he's actually in a dodecahedron,

Sidey: a terrible film that

Dan: Diamonds. Yeah. Amazing. Was, wasn't there a film called The Circle with Tom

Reegs: Yes.

Dan: Yes. I mean, there was, there was no real point to it, was it?

That's,

Sidey: is Nick from the intro.

Dan: it was yeah, I thought so himself

Reegs: was Nick from somewhere else, so,

Sidey: right?

Dan: Fallen, remember that with Denzel Washington? He was kind of a shapeshifter, wasn't he? Yeah, he, he, he went through different bodies and he, he would touch somebody and they would sing that, ah, he is on my side. And that's how you would know that he's, the devil had changed through different people to

catch up somebody a little bit quicker.

Yeah, that was all good. I've got a couple more. Do you wanna do another loop?

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. [00:15:00] Cool.

Cris: Okay. Sorry. I'm going to go for personal life that shaped movies, so like personal lives that.

Happened, things that happened or whatever. For, for, let's say for Tarantino, his love of fe it, it's, it shaped all his movies to have some form of feat in them for George Miller with Mad Max, his upbringing in rural Australia in passion of

Dan: Dry,

Cris: he was passionate for car, for cars and he was always surrounded by cars.

And he was also an emergency doctor, so he pulled people out of cars. Okay. So he is apparently that's a, that's has

Dan: the regs, pulls people off in cars.

Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: Oh, are you? Okay. That's gonna be in your intro next week. Spike Lee with, well pretty much all racist kind of topics and Brooklyn or and then moving to Atlanta and all that.

He's got it in a few movies. And Martin Scorsese with his passion for Italians [00:16:00] in movies or movies with Italian. Connection. That's just a list I have. There's obviously more of them, but that was

Sidey: nice. I like it.

Cris: Is that,

can I take that?

The

Reegs: things that shaped to

Sidey: Yeah,

you can. Absolutely. What about some video game ones?

Tetris.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Is fundamentally about putting things in shape order to fill holes to destroy

Dan: And, and that was a film as well, wasn't it? Tetris? Did you never see that film? It was on Apple.

Cris: There is a film called

Sidey: Oh, it was, yeah, yeah. Yes.

Dan: It was good

Reegs: because there's a big story

Dan: Matt Damon or

Sidey: the guy? No, it's the guy who was in

Dan: oh, parks and Gardens there something.

Sidey: No, he was Eddie the Eagle Edwards. And he was

Karen.

Dan: Yeah. Tn. Tn. Tn.

Cris: Is that him?

Sidey: He's in that movie. Yeah, he

Dan: good. I like that.

Sidey: Portal features The Companion Cube in

Yes, certainly does.

In Legend of Zelda. The Triforce is I think it's three triangles in one bigger triangle. I really like that series, the actual PlayStation buttons. [00:17:00] Feature triangle, a square circle and a cross.

Yeah. And Monument Valley. Do you ever play that? No.

Oh, it's good. That's like an iOS game? No, it's an iOS game. It's like downloaded for one pound, nine. Nine, but it's all puzzle based. Okay. Like, Esher type.

It's really cool. You can spin the levels round. You've gotta make the staircases go blah, blah, blah.

And that's all very shape orientated. It's good. There's three different versions of it as well. F to the y? To the I. Yeah. So some video game ones for you.

Reegs: Nice.

Well, I've got some actors who sound a bit like shapes. Nice. Well, Lew Diamond Phillips obviously Cuba Gooding Jr. Wheel Smith Demi Circle more Ringo Stark. Conan O'Brien and Rom

Sidey: and Jr.

Reegs: That's where

Cris: you would've had Ice Cube. That's the most

Reegs: Yeah. He could have had Ice Cube.

Cris: He's an actor, right? I, I know his name is Oshi Jackson.

But.

Sidey: no, it's not

Reegs: I liked Mal Cubey gleaming the Cube. Do you remember that one? The skateboarding [00:18:00] movie with Christian

Dan: He was decent.

Reegs: had an adopted Vietnamese brother who was killed and he had to solve his murder using only a skateboard and his wits and his blonde hair.

And squid games.

Sidey: Yeah, like the PlayStation buttons. Yeah. They had

Reegs: And they've got like a hierarchy that the square, I think

Sidey: think the third suit is out this week, isn't it? Yeah. I didn't finish the second season yet.

Reegs: I did. So I'll probably power through to the third. It was a bit, or it's, I'll be interested to see.

Dan: I I missed it all to be honest. Remember Conehead?

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: But that was a Friday night Live spinoff,

Reegs: Yeah. Or an SNLI think or something. Yeah.

Sidey: Oh, that's the same thing.

It never, it never

enticed me into watching that one. I have to say

Reegs: The movie. Oh, I really like it actually. It's like funny, stupid.

Sidey: I like Dan Aroy, so I would been for that.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Well, maybe it will be a, a midweek at one time. I've got two more. One of them's gonna be my recommendation, my, my entry into our top five and the [00:19:00] other one's Rocky three, where Stallone was just in great shape, wasn't he?

He was, yeah. He was in fantastic shape. Yeah.

Cris: I've got cars, the movie, the mountains in the movie are shaped like old cars.

So when they go through the desert, all the, the mountains, you know how like they look like the, the canyon mountain? They, they look like the front of the old cars. Yeah. Like a long

Sidey: right. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cris: of. I dunno how to explain it without actually seeing a picture, but it's a quirk of the cars, movies, and I have got my nos and yeah, I've got my nos, but there's gonna be, I think more than one.

Dan: Okay,

Cris: so I'll

Sidey: that's pretty cool. Do you want some songs? Yeah. Circle In the Sand by Belinda Carlisle. Yeah.

Dan: Circle of Life.

Sidey: Yeah. Square One by Coldplay and a different version by Tom Petty the Shape. This is one of your favorites. Down the Shape of You by Ed

Dan: Yeah. Brilliant. [00:20:00] Love that. I

Cris: great.

That

Sidey: Rock DJ by Robbie Williams.

Cris: Your

Sidey: mate features the lyric cube shaped freaks with a fetish for beats. Bet you all knew that. Anyway pyramid where Frank Ocean shape of my heart by Pete's favorite Sting.

Reegs: Yeah. Shape of My

Sidey: And recent album, well, there's also a heart shaped box. Yeah. By Nirvana. And recent album that I really liked I bought was his Z Face and Cool Keith collab called Stress Eater.

Cool. Keith also goes by the name of Dr. Octagon.

Reegs: course he does. Yeah. So,

Sidey: So there you go.

Dan: Arc.

Sidey: Mm.

Reegs: Nice.

Sidey: Just my norm to go,

Reegs: Oh, well, let's nom then. I'll go first with behind the curve. We talked about it off air last week and I kept thinking about it.

It's the 2008 doc 18 documentary about flat earthers. And in where they inadvertently proved twice through a scientific experiment is

Sidey: Yeah. Fade to black,

Reegs: they spend a few thousand dollars doing. So, yeah, behind the [00:21:00] curve.

Dan: Nice. Like that. Snowden was my one. It obviously features the Pentagon and that's where the Shape comes from and the Oval Office.

And it was about how Edward Snowden and how he became the world's most famous whistleblower.

Reegs: Edwards Snowden

Cris: has, is it not Julian Assange.

Dan: Second favorite. Second, yeah. He's up there. He's up in there. Speaking of

Cris: Oval Office, my norms are going to be either penis or vagina shaped shapes in

Sidey: Okay. Okay.

Cris: Okay. For objects. The most famous one is from a clock or orange. The giant

Sidey: fallas Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: comes in gold now, and I've got a picture of it. And you can buy it.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: How much? I

Cris: I

don't, I couldn't find the,

Sidey: if you have to ask, I suppose you can't afford it.

Cris: but yeah. It's one of them and it's an RP created by Dutch sculptor and artist Herman Ming.

And he resided in London and only in 2020. He died in [00:22:00] 2013 and in, I think it's 2009, where he made the, the, the. Gold one, the gold edition of that which I'm pretty sure you apparently can buy. And I do have, let me just one second, because I've, I've, I couldn't be smart enough

Sidey: did he in, did he kill someone with the or did he just like wave it in their face for a

Reegs: No, I think he

Cris: he was just chasing people with it. There is the, the best one that I have, there's obviously sour on in the Lord of the Rings. The whole thing looks a bit like a vagina. Yeah. The bag in my stepmother is an alien in a film from 1988.

Reegs: I've seen that.

Cris: I've seen that. It's a pH symbol that lives inside her purse at one point.

Pops out to advise her about sex.

Reegs: Kim Bassinger and Dan Aykroyd, I think

Cris: I think, and I have another one for you, which is the best one I've ever had or I've ever heard. Flesh Gordon,

Reegs: Yeah.

Wow.

Sidey: Oh, it's amazing.

Cris: Penis

Sidey: the penis rocket, everything.

Cris: Well, yeah. The Posa is a creature. That when Flesh Gordon asks, [00:23:00] what is it? Dr.

Flexi

Sidey: KO responds

Cris: Some species of posas, I should think.

Say that

So the posas, yeah.

Sidey: It's amazing. I love that

Cris: unbelievable. So I know it's, it's obviously, I know it's a parody, but I couldn't, I don't think there's ever better name for anything but a pinosa.

So that's my norm.

Sidey: my norm. I can't believe we've come this far without Norm without talking about it. It is the monoliths from 2001 Space Odyssey. Yeah. Great. Big black, rectangular

Dan: monoliths.

Sidey: And the score goes fucking bananas when they're, and the, you've got the chim, he's like running up and touching it and then evolving and stuff.

Cool. Fuck, really good. So yeah, the monoliths

Dan: nice. Okay, well we are looking for one more out there, maybe still. Yeah, I think so. From the great square the great people out there. Let's, let's have it.

Sidey: This is the Triangle of Sadness. It's the second movie that we've covered with Triangle in the title. Yes. [00:24:00] Which was also featured largely on a boat. Yes. Like this one? Yeah. Well, not, well. A good chunk of this is on a boat anyway,

Reegs: and second of his movies, Ruben Olins to feature a geometric shape in the title 'cause he also did the square.

Cris: What is, what was the first triangle?

Sidey: It was literally just called triangle. It was a sort of time loop horror movie.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: Okay. I've not seen that.

Reegs: It was pretty good. Had Melissa George from home and away. Yeah. I

Sidey: Yeah. I think we all sort of enjoyed it. This one. Kind of starts out with two really annoying people having dinner.

Reegs: Well before that there's a kind of prologue where we have like a really camp predatory

Sidey: them. Yeah.

Reegs: TV presenter interviewing a pack of auditioning male models and he's adding in some very dark jokes about them and the fashion industry about having to fend off the advances of, you know, designers for the privilege of earning one third of the money that the women do.

And he does this, he's really uncomfortable and he's talking about smiley brands, like h and m, [00:25:00] cheaper shit. And then,

Sidey: explain,

Reegs: the more

Sidey: do your, do your Balenciaga

Reegs: do Balenciaga and they're all like frowning and moody and scowling and then smiling and happy for h and m. You're all diverse and love

Sidey: each other.

Reegs: And I.

Then he's like, basically the more money you spend, the more you look down on your consumer. Yeah. And you sneer at them. And

Sidey: And then we do get to see

Reegs: well we get this like excruciating casting as well when he goes in and he tells him to relax his triangle of sadness. We get a little title

Sidey: He says that and he says they, they, he, he does his, you know, his catwalk thing in front of them and they all get together and sort of whisper.

And then the one sort of real horrible guy comes up and says, you need to do it. Like a, doing a song and he fucking struts around it basic, exactly the same as you

Cris: Yeah. He doesn't even look better.

Sidey: And then, you know, it's, it reminded me of bill Murray, you know, and during his

time you know, the guy just fucking lectures in FRAs and he just does it the same.

And he's like, oh, the guy's like, oh, you mean so like with more rhythm? And he's like, yeah. And he just walks exactly the same and they're like, [00:26:00] okay, yeah, you see enough fuck off.

Reegs: He was obviously some famous model 'cause they open up his portfolio and they're like, it's him sort of thing. But it was, he says.

It was three years ago plus one. So he's obviously maybe getting towards the end of his career. And his star

Sidey: he's like 23 or something.

Reegs: Yeah, exactly. And then it closes out with all the models in their pants having like paint thrown at them and it's just looks really unpleasant.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. Awful.

Reegs: And then it does, then we get a little title thing.

It says part one, Carl and, and Yaya

Sidey: Not Toro.

Reegs: Yeah, no

Sidey: yeah, they're at dinner in a very swanky looking restaurant. Yeah. Ya, ya is just so, let's be clear, they're both extremely good looking. Mm-hmm. They're

Reegs: models. They're both models.

Sidey: both models. Well. She's just an influencer. Just an influencer. But that, that's

Cris: a model.

There is that

Reegs: we saw that little bit

Cris: dinner where, where there's the,

Reegs: they shunt everybody down the seats.

So he gets knocked off the seat on the end for these two important women to come and sit on the front row.

Cris: because they speak German something. And then they're like, oh. [00:27:00] And then that's where Yaya walks the catwalk and there's the

Sidey: yeah,

Cris: whatever they put on the back.

Like all these messages, these powerful

Sidey: empowerment, cynicism,

Reegs: masquerading

is optimism and all this stuff

Sidey: fucking bullshit. But they're, they're at dinner and she doesn't look at him, she doesn't look away from her phone basically for, for one second. No. And the bill is put down on, you know, it's very posh.

It's like a silver tray with a bill and he kind of glances at her and she doesn't bat an eyelid and he touches it. And she said, oh, thanks.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: And he's kind of enraged because there seems to have been a conversation the day. Prior where, where he had bought dinner then. Yeah. And she said, oh, I'll get the next one.

Yeah. Which is clearly not gonna do to. Yeah.

Cris: to. Yeah.

Sidey: And so she kind of manipulates the conversation into being,

why are you upset with? And he says, well, because you said you were gonna pay, which she turns round to be, well, it's, I'll pay. Then he is like, no, I don't want you to pay. Now, now that we've had this, you know, it becomes this big sort of circular

Reegs: argument. It, it starts out a bit kind of

Cris: to leave as well.

Reegs: It starts out kind of a [00:28:00] bit passive aggressive from him, but he does kind of have a point. But then he keeps kind of hammering it home because he's got a point, maybe a bit in the restaurant when he's talking about it.

He's talking about she earns a lot more money than he does and all this stuff. And then she puts 50 euros on the table and then takes it back. And then he picks that back up later and he's like, why did you take the 50 euros? If you were gonna pay for it, you were gonna give it. So it keeps going and it escalates in the taxi, it goes again.

And he won't let it die until they're back at the hotel room, like screaming at each other in the, in the lift, basically.

Sidey: Yeah. She he throws it at her. She, she puts it down his top, which in infuriates him. Which he then kind of like, tries to jam into the door of the lift, it seemed. Yeah.

Reegs: And they're bickering about all sorts at this point.

Like gender roles, like, you know, who earns more and who should be paying. And, and she says stuff about, well, if I get pregnant, who would look after me? And all this stuff. And it's like

Sidey: he says, well, you know, we, we did [00:29:00] agree that you would buy dinner. And then she says, well look, you know, I don't give you anything. I got you that shirt. I got this. He goes, the shirt was given to you for free and this was the fucking thing that you got free. And I dunno, it's pretty obvious where they're going with this.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: they do, but they do sort of go their separate ways, but then she comes back and then she kind of rolls over completely and says, yeah, I just, I'm really good at, you know, I often manipulate people like that.

Reegs: Yeah. Well, and he's pleased to hear that 'cause she's being truthful. He says, you're like, you're being generous when he says that. But then it does almost get into an argument again, like, he can't stop this thing that's at them. And it does kind of close out with them. Like having a bit of truth to their relationship.

She tells him like their relationship is kind of just a business decision. Like

Cris: Yeah. That's when he's like, oh, my goal is to be a trophy wife. Yeah. You, we, it looks good for the Instagram. You, we are all

Reegs: engagement on social media is

Dan: and I I never watched this, is this delivered tongue in cheek or is it all very

Reegs: this bit's really intense,

Sidey: It's quite intense. But the, the overall thing, and we get [00:30:00] into some, like,

Reegs: it becomes much more of a far in the second

Sidey: it's, it's a black comedy overall, but this bit, there's not, there's not many laughs in this first chapter,

Reegs: No. 'cause it's really uncomfortable. It's like this passive aggressive argument. Both sides have kind of got a

Sidey: And at one point they're, they are arguing like it gets heated and she goes to leave and he stands up and like grabs her.

Yeah. And there's, and people are, you know, it's a quiet fucking posh restaurant then. And everyone's sort of looking at them and he's trying to deescalate then like just sit down and just sit down and just talk about it. And you know, the way it comes over is like, are you two enjoying yourself?

Reegs: Yeah.

and everybody's looking at them anyway 'cause they're two models in the restaurant anyway. Do you know what I mean? So anyway, they've got, we've seen that the sort of this facet of their relationship, which is like really interesting because money of course is in, anybody's in a relationship knows that money is something that people argue about in relationships.

So then it goes to part two. The yacht we're introduced with a guy, a shot of a guy bringing in yellow briefcase on a rib to a super yacht. Did you see what's in [00:31:00] No Nutella? It's Nutella.

Sidey: but the way they do it, it's, it's helicoptered in. Yeah. It's almost like handcuffed to someone. You think it's gonna be 'cause and it's, it comes

Reegs: in a yellow

Sidey: fucking

Cris: I thought it would be like Russian caviar or a, or a expensive fish

Sidey: something like that. Yeah. It's just some Russian oligarch. Once his Nutella on the fucking yacht.

Reegs: Yeah. And we see this enormous, like Russian oligarch style, super yacht. Yeah. Out in the middle of nowhere it's not clear where they are or where they're going, but there are armed guards

Sidey: Carl and Yayy are on there. They're on the deck. He's again having to take photos of her for the gram. She looks at one of the, or one of the crew,

Reegs: Yeah. The

Cris: Greek though. The, the, the

Sidey: Looks over and she smiles at him and says, hello.

Reegs: He's like the antithesis of, 'cause Carl's really good looking, but he's like

Sidey: he's bod

Reegs: good looking and he's like completely hairless and is look, is like a boy type Still a big guy

Dan: That's your

Reegs: and this other guy is like long, he's got tan skin. He takes his,

Sidey: hairy chest hair,

Reegs: he's got a big beard and long hair and that, and she's just [00:32:00] looking at him like she's drooling

Sidey: And She

says hello to him.

He's like, what are you doing? Yeah. He said, well, just said hello to someone. He's like, well, don't fucking do it.

Cris: Well why are you saying hello to the staff?

Sidey: And, and

Reegs: what would you be like if there was another, you know, a woman over there and I was flirting with her, what would you, you know,

Sidey: she's like, like, do you think she's hot?

He's like, no, not really. Do you think he's hot? He is like maybe.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

so he goes off to go and get him fired and

Sidey: we see, we

Reegs: beforehand,

Sidey: is crazy. I thought

Reegs: of Madam Paula, isn't it saying about she's like the head of the ship basically. She runs all the cleaning staff, the bar staff, the serving staff. She manages everything.

And she's like, says, you basic, the success of a luxury cruise depends on two moments. The first hours they're on board in the last hours, and you say yes to everything They want drugs. Yes. You want a unicorn? Yes, yes, yes, yes,

Sidey: she whips 'em up into a frenzy saying, you, you do all this and then what do you get at the end?

A big fucking tip. And then they, they, they start like doing this like,

Cris: the clap. Yeah.

Sidey: they whipped [00:33:00] up and it cuts back to 'em and they're just going,

Reegs: whooping.

Sidey: Mar, they've all just completely lost. It goes, ah. And then yeah, he goes to complain to we, he just brings it up that

Reegs: he knew what was gonna

Sidey: He's

like, oh, one of the guys was sort of the crew mate. He's not even like one of the waiters. Wait, you know, waiting staff. He's He's

like

an engineer, a mechanic. And he complains about him talking to his Mrs. And he's sacked

Cris: while he looks at engagement rings.

Reegs: Well,

afterwards he says, but they've neither, what becomes really clear is neither of them have got any money.

Carl doesn't have any money and, and Yaa lives her life through three Bs like you

Sidey: trip they've got is for free.

Reegs: So like when he says, oh, can I see the engagement rings? 'cause he's feeling really insecure about the muscly man who attracted his girlfriend. And she's like, they're 28,000 euros. And you can hear him gulp like

Sidey: she just sort of lingers thinking, oh, he hasn't got the cash for that. Let me get to I guess it's the dinner scene.

Reegs: Oh, well, but just before that, there is just a scene that's quite good as well. It's soundtrack to a song I fucking [00:34:00] despise Dre's Life,

Sidey: They, they graduated it by playing it at least twice in this movie.

And also the bit that features my favorite song lyric of all

Reegs: co I've got it here.

I'm

Sidey: afraid of the ghost. It's the thing that I feel most, I just need a slice of toast and watch the evening news. Yeah,

Reegs: it's amazing.

Sidey: And they played that bit twice. Yeah. It's brilliant.

Reegs: I fucking hate that.

Sidey: I fucking hate that. And we do get a couple of scenes of the, the woman who runs the whole.

Front house bit knocking on the captain's door, and he's just fucking nowhere to be seen.

Reegs: It's Woody Harrelson. You just hear him

Sidey: I'm not. Well,

Reegs: shouting and playing music and

Dan: drinking right?

Sidey: He's not playing ball. He is just the first, the what's the guy's name? The the first didn't get it Mate or Whatever.

Reegs: I've got it somewhere in here.

Sidey: I,

Cris: Darius.

the guy with a

Sidey: beard,

Cris: He's not Darius,

Sidey: he is not a captain.

I mean, he's not fucking captaining anything. No.

Reegs: he's on a jolly so the plot kind of kicks off because there's like this scene where we've met Dmitri who sells shit and he's made loads of money. I sells shit. He's a, he sells fertilizer and [00:35:00] his wife and his mistress who were there and his wife

Sidey: that's amazing.

Reegs: gets in the pool and the, the woman is serving her hot tub and she's serving her alcohol.

And she's, and she's absolutely stunning this waitress as well. And she's like, she says to her, it's so awful. You know how privileged works. You know, I could easily be where you are and you could be where I am. In fact, let's swap places. You get in here and she starts getting quite passive

Sidey: aggressive

but she's been told,

Reegs: she's been told to say yes to everything, but also she's working, she's got a radio on like in this, she looks impeccable, can't get in the pool.

Sidey: Alicia

Actress's name was also Alicia.

Reegs: And she does to eventually say no. And then the look of like horror on her face for about 30 seconds as she struggles with this. So eventually she has to get in the pool and in fact, this stupid fucking woman makes everyone in the whole ship get in the

Sidey: there's a phone call down to the galley. Yeah. And because to hear the chef and he is obviously had this sort of bullshit before, he just says to all the other staff, you've gotta go now you've all got to go and have a swim.

And they all just chip off [00:36:00] like it's

Reegs: nothing. Yeah.

Cris: their shorts. You can see the mechanics, you can see the, and also this is a theme throughout the movie where you can see that the lower you get, like everyone's white at the

Reegs: Yeah, yeah,

Cris: yeah.

And then the lower you get, the more

Sidey: the darker the skin goes.

Yeah.

Reegs: absolutely. To the Filipino cleaning staff

Cris: That's how, how it kind of gets so, which with all due respect, I've never been on a cruise ship, but I know my mates have, and it, it, that's exactly how you do. And I work in hospitality, I work in hospitality in my life.

If you walk into a place and you don't like the people that, how they look like at the front. Mm, you don't wanna see the ones in the

back.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: So, so, and, and I'm not saying these people are worse because of their color or whatever. I'm just saying that that's just how, how they do it. And, and, and, and that's normal.

Apparently.

Sidey: The there's the, there's the ongoing thing now about the captain's dinner. Yeah. Which you'd expect on a cruise.

You know, there's the big event where there's, and the real hierarchy gets to sit at the captain's table and he's just not, he's not available for this. Yeah. So he gets put back.

Reegs: They tell him any day, but Thursday and [00:37:00] drunkenly latches onto Thursday

Sidey: Thursday's fine.

Reegs: and it's actually the day of a horrendous storm.

And it's the same day as the kitchen staff and all the mechanics have been ordered into the water. So the food is undercooked and the boat is fucked.

Sidey: Yeah. The, the first mate goes to open the door 'cause they just can't get him to even open the door to talk to him. So the first mate goes to open door and he, this is the first time we see Woody Haron and he's a fucking wreck.

Right. He's just a complete aie. And they say, look, you just put your fucking uniform on. Yeah. And

Cris: In four hours

and

Sidey: come to dinner. And he is like, push it back to half eight. So then we're gonna get to this like, remarkable scene

Reegs: incredible dinner scene

Sidey: of

Reegs: afterwards.

Sidey: It's astonishingly fucking high end cuisine.

Right. Just like you've never seen before. And it's on a ship, but the camera's starting. You're getting a few like Dutch angles now where

Reegs: well on, it's not even right. 'cause this is gonna be like a 10 course affair. And by the second course, like they're doing this, they're giving you this high course

Dan: Oh, the water's getting a bit

Reegs: in the background are running around puking in the background, like running off from [00:38:00] tables, like visibly puking on screen, right?

So you know, you're in for something

Sidey: There's one

Reegs: And people are trying to just carry on as the boat's listing and they're eating everything they're bringing out. Like this, people are starting to puke. They bring out like this thing of like seafood

Sidey: Yeah. What the fuck was that? 'cause they say wobbly a few times. The woman goes, it helps if you eat something, if you're feeling seasick. It's better to not do it on a, on an empty stomach. And I'm looking at this, it's completely translucent jelly thing on the

Cris: with a bit of dill

Sidey: on. That's the last thing I'd want to eat. Yeah. If I was feeling unwell textually it looked fucking grim.

Reegs: Yeah. It was like eating vomit already.

Sidey: Yeah. And then, and then we just get

Reegs: screaming and like, it's starting out like from hell.

Sidey: and we've, everyone that we've been introduced, we're gonna get So them fucking powerfully chant now.

Reegs: Yeah. Unbelievable.

Cris: that will have relevance slightly later is a British couple that they sell hand grenades and landmines. And they're really upset that they, the United Nations treaty stopped them selling landmines. It, they lost 25% [00:39:00] of their business. It was tough times, but they made it

through,

Sidey: thank God.

Yeah. But yeah,

Cris: it'll come, it'll come at some point.

Reegs: does. Yeah. Yeah. The joke pays

Sidey: there's the Russian guy, his, his wife, she's clearly an alcoholic. She just drinks champagne constantly. You see that She's gonna go,

Reegs: she's cramming food in and then just fo like following it with glass after glass of champagne.

And when she goes, it's like a fucking volcano. It's like, team America.

Sidey: She just projectiles and the ca but the camera just stays on it and she goes again. And then she's like, gimme, and she just glog a load of champagne and then you see like a fizzy one. I'm like, how do they do that? It's amazing.

It's really, really good.

Reegs: So everybody's puking.

It's like, but now it's starting to get really dangerous. Like, and they've started to evacuate the restaurant and people are like starting to fall down the stairs and all sorts of shit. Like, and it will culminate with like, you'll see people in their rooms like puking, puking on the toilet and shitting and just like washing away.

Sidey: washing away.

I think it was her again, wasn't it the, it was the mistress that was just [00:40:00] getting shoved around on the bathroom floor? No, it was her, it was the wife.

Cris: was her the wife. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: She's, she's holding, she's doing that thing where you are, you can't move from the toilet. She's just vomiting, but there's nothing there.

It's just dry retching and then the ship will sway and she gets smashed into the wall and back there being like trying to grab the toilet on the way back. It's like quite a long sequence of vomiting and shit.

Reegs: Oh. This keeps going

Sidey: And then the toilet, one of the toilets backs up and just explodes with

Reegs: like, literally shit.

Just absolutely everywhere. All over these rich ba suit.

Cris: everyone's evacuated the restaurant at the captain's table, the Captain Woody Harrelson. And Dimitri, the Russian oligarch. They're having a drinking game. Yeah, like they carry on drinking.

Sidey: just stitching him up, isn't he with the cards?

He is just doing black or red on the cards. Yeah.

Reegs: They're having an argument about Marxism and capitalism and he's, they're having, they're like exchanging quotations, getting fucking absolutely annihilated drunk while all this chaos and people getting hurt and puking and shit is going on around them.

Cris: Yeah. And they [00:41:00] just sit there quoting Marks quoting JF Kennedy, quoting all that.

And, and then they go from wine to cognac. And then, you know,

Dan: once you go to cognac,

the band isn't on the Titanic, they're just carrying on. Are they? They

Sidey: Woody Harrison. Then

Cris: he takes his shirt off and his just in a wifebeater

Sidey: He says something about the ship being worth 50 million.

And the Russian guy's, like, you don't see it on the screen, but then the next thing you see, he's at the mic and he's just agreed to buy it, even though I'm fairly sure it's not Woody Harrison's boat. He's just a captain for hire. Yeah. But he's on the, on the PA to the whole pressing the like, sounds like morse code at first, and then he is just going, this is my boat, and destroy this

Reegs: mayday, we're going down.

we're going down.

Which is just of course adding to all of this absolute horrendous Eventually it does all kind of subside, doesn't it?

Sidey: Willie House gets back in to say, we're not going down, and he starts going on about his conspiracies, about the US government killed Martin Luther King, Bobby [00:42:00] Kennedy, John F. Kennedy, ju Kennedy and Malcolm X. And Malcolm X, and it's all a conspiracy.

And then yeah, kind of fades into the next morning where it's, it's calmed down. It's calmed, but not for long.

Reegs: The cleaning crew are out. This is when we see the, the Filipino. Yeah. It's quite important the Filipino cleaning crew come out. They're just like straight away mopping up all the puke and all the shit like and then you see some pirates come on the screen from a distance and it just zooms in the guy's holding the

Cris: and like, he is like, oh, the hand grenade. The hand grenade. Make sure you have the hand grenade.

Reegs: he fucking LOBs it onto the boat right where those two comes. He's such an obvious stoke. I love

Sidey: it. The woman picks it up and she's like, oh, this looks like one of ours. And the guy, the husband's like, ah. And then we just, it cuts to very far away and you just see a very small explosion, like a, and they're obviously dead and then fucking boom and the whole, like rear, I dunno, there's probably a, a shipping term for that fucking massive explosion that that boat is going down.

Yeah, no doubt. And then it cuts to episode, oh sorry, chapter three. The [00:43:00] island. The island. The island there. There's a few survivors that have washed up

Cris: the shipwreck. Yeah. Where they,

Sidey: yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. So they've washed up on an island just a small bunch of them at this point.

We've got Dmitri and his wife.

Cris: Not yet. Not the wife.

It is Dmitri. There's Carl,

Yaa,

Dmitri, the black guy, one of the pirates.

Reegs: There's YMO, who was Nelson. Yeah. He was a pirate, wasn't he? Yeah. Yeah. And Ymo, who was this comic relief flight?

Sidey: Oh

Cris: Oh yes. The Russian, the other Russian. The, the

Reegs: the coder.

Cris: the Ner the nerd. The,

Reegs: He'd made a lot of money through code and he'd brought, he tried to buy Ya Yara Rolex because she'd been nice to him and let him take her

Sidey: Yeah. He, he just seemed like a real loner, didn't

Reegs: yeah.

Sidey: So,

Cris: and the woman that was disabled

Sidey: yeah.

Reegs: raise, all she can say is in de Vulcan up in the clouds.

And she's disabled

Sidey: She's had a stroke.

Yeah. So they're, they're in survival mode. Which

Reegs: At which they're clearly very ill-equipped

Sidey: for because they were just, everything would be bought and paid for

Reegs: their decadent Yeah. Lifestyle has not [00:44:00] helped them and prepared them for

Sidey: So now they're completely reliant upon Abigail, who is the

Cris: Abigail only, only arrives later on in a, in a lifeboat, which I have to say the lifeboat is really good. Like proper, you know, you're not sinking that.

Yeah. It is not, it is not like a,

Sidey: fairly bulletproof, isn't it?

Cris: not like a rib.

Reegs: Well, she obviously kept her head when the ship went down and got into a lifeboat and sorted herself

out. Because she has, Abigail is

Cris: has gold. She has gold. She has water. And she has pretzel sticks.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah.

She's, she's squirreled away a few things, but as soon as the hatch opens, she's ordered to give those away. Yeah. But. She's not, she's a bit fucked off about it, obviously, but she, she's

Reegs: she knows the long game here,

Sidey: She's able to be self-sufficient.

Reegs: water are gonna last like a day.

And then what are you gonna do?

Sidey: Yeah. So, so now all these super high net worth people are reliant upon the toilet cleaner Yeah. To keep them alive. And she knows that.

Reegs: but yeah.

Cris: Yeah. Because

Reegs: because she can fish main, mainly she can fish and she knows what the fuck she's doing. She can build a [00:45:00] fire,

Dan: She's got, she can get

Reegs: So suddenly the power dynamic has completely been subverted to what it was just, you know, a few moments ago, she's right at the top of the tree and she starts liking and exercising that power. She, when she dishes out food to the group, she gives them half. And keeps half for herself and then dishes out the rest for favors, essentially, which come in many forms.

I mean, they're trying to, at first offer her Patek Philippe and stuff. What the fuck? It's meaningless. So eventually it becomes about what you can do. And Carl starts realizing what he can offer is what he traded on back in the real world were his looks. Yeah. So he starts to offer sexual favors to

Cris: Well, not necessarily. He starts to, he, she basically says, tonight, you're sleeping with me because there's no, there's not, it's not like he decided, oh, I'm gonna do it.

There's. The first night,

there's

Reegs: also a falling out, isn't there? Over the pretzel

Cris: pretzels, the first night, the, all the women [00:46:00] go and sleep in the lifeboat because the lifeboat is covered and they're in the warmth and they're protected because they hear

Reegs: Abigail's created a matriarchy, essentially, where the women are at the top of the power and the men are at the

Cris: Yeah. And they, she was like, look, you keep the fire alive and I'll,

Sidey: Carl can't even do that, can he?

Cris: And Carl and Nelson and the other boys, they can't do it. They eat the pretzels because she forgot the backpack. And then the next, the next morning they all get faced with the reality. And then the next night she's like, right, all of you, fuck off.

You're coming with me.

Sidey: Well, she chews 'em out, didn't she? For, for Nick and a bag of pretzels. Yeah. She says, you've fucking, you've taken those. And he tried to deny it first. And she says, you fucking took those. You didn't even keep the fire light. Yeah. You know, you're fucking useless.

Reegs: useless and you're useless here. You don't do anything. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. And that's when she starts to say, well, maybe I can get someone outta you. Yeah. And they start

Cris: and then he, she gives him a pack of pretzel sticks, which he gives to Yaya,

Sidey: But he goes, the first time he goes [00:47:00] off, he, they have a conversation, don't they?

Him and Yaya. And she says, well, what the fuck? He's like, well, she's giving us these pretzels. She's gonna want something in, in exchange. And yaya's like, obviously freaking out. 'cause they're still sort together even though they don't really get on. And he's like, well, you know, she, she'll expect something, have to do something.

And she's like, well, nothing sexual. And they, they negotiated down to her neck massage, don't they? Yeah. But you know,

Reegs: it's pretty clear what he's going

Sidey: This just happens again and again. And he's just shagging her every, he just sneaks as if no one's gonna notice. She's sneaking off every night.

He's just spends in the lifeboat, shagging her

Reegs: and getting more and more fate.

Cris: And mind you, this woman is like, like in her fifties.

Dan: but this is a bit of a, I dunno, like a Stockholm syndrome going on, is it? Or

Reegs: they've just had to create this new

Dan: because it's society basically Right.

Reegs: for,

Dan: and he's,

Reegs: And she's, you know, she, Abigail as well is enjoying the fact that she's at the top of the pile. Why wouldn't she be?

Cris: she was always at the bottom. She was the head toilet cleaner. Exactly. That was her job.

Sidey: What did they doing [00:48:00] when they're watching something where Carl is sat with her and he is got his hand on, sort of on her, but on on the chair.

Cris: chair? Yeah.

Sidey: And what they Oh, is the, the coder guy's doing something?

Yeah. Oh, it's cave paintings. That's, they gone, they regressed to doing fucking cave paintings, like, you know.

Cris: Well, yeah, they killed the donkey. Yeah, they killed the donkey

Reegs: Yamo. The coder is sent off to kill the donkey and he goes, it's like the most horrendous death. 'cause he goes off to bludgeon it with a stone and it just doesn't die from the first blow. And then it's really traumatic braying as he like, hits it repeatedly with a rock. And it's obviously this like, horrible experience for yamo.

He's like just left sobbing afterwards, is he beaten his donkey to death,

Sidey: but now they're doing cave paintings back and they're watching it and Yaya sort of looks over and Carl's got his hands sort of basically, you know, romantically with Abigail.

And so she calls him out there and then about it I think it's the next day. Then she says she goes and knocks on the lifeboat door, says, I want the backpack. I'm gonna go for a hike around the island and see what I can find.

And then a bit later only thinking what [00:49:00] thing to do earlier. Yeah,

Reegs: Well, because they're all fucking morons and the only one who would've thought of that is

Sidey: who doesn't want to. No. So she says, oh, okay, I'll come with you. So Abigail and yay yo, go on this hike across the island. And while they're away, we don't see it. Initially what they find. But the lady who's had the stroke, I forget her name.

She's just sat, she sat in this kind of life raft, inflatable life raft, dinghy thing, just on her own. She can't, she's normally in a wheelchair and she's just sat there and she just hears this noise. And you see like, sort of fuzzy in the, in the background, just someone walk across singing and then she's like, what the fuck is that?

And, and she realizes it's not one of the survivors from the ship. She's like fucking someone else. So she makes, she sort of shouts anything she can shout and this guy like comes back and walks towards and some fucking dude with like fake watches, fake bags, you know, hats. He's just some salesman. One of those guys sell

Cris: to her while she's in a lifeboat, all disheveled. and

Sidey: like,

Reegs: she can do is go in decan.

In Decan.

Sidey: and so you realize [00:50:00] there's fucking people live here. And then we go, we, she

Reegs: him off because she like,

Sidey: he's just trying to, he's just trying to make a sail.

Reegs: to communicate. She grabs his arm and she's like, he like looks at her like, are you coming

onto

Sidey: she's pointing at the life raft like.

Reegs: yeah. And he's

Sidey: I'm in a life raft. And he is just like, do you wanna watch?

Reegs: So he fucks off like leaving her, 'cause she's scared him off.

Sidey: Then we go back to Yay ya. Yeah. And Abigail and they come down she sees something and trots down and as, as we follow them, there's a plastic chair. We see It was like, oh.

Reegs: that's a bit weird.

Sidey: And then she sort of starts laughing on the beach.

Yaya. It's like it's a luxury resort. And the whole time they'd just be on the wrong side of the island. There's this fucking massive luxury resort there. And Abigail is obviously straightaway like, Hmm, don't really fancy this, this is not work. You know, for what I

Dan: Oh, she's no longer gonna be number one.

Sidey: so yayo Yao's gonna run in there to get help.

And aga says, no, let's just enjoy this moment. And you're like, I don't think so. And Yayo just sits on the beach. And [00:51:00] Abigail behind her Yayo iss, just looking out to see Abigail's behind her and she comes back towards her with this big rock,

Reegs: obviously much echoing the donkey scene from earlier. And she's talking about, oh, when we get back I'll help you.

You can be my assistant at my place or whatever. And

Sidey: Abigail's saying, no

Reegs: just look in Abigail's eyes and that's the end of that. It's left to up to you what happens next. And then the last shot is just, it's really

Sidey: Carl just running through,

Reegs: running through the jungle and he's like, he's got like stuff scraped across.

He, he's like really getting cut up from the vines and stuff. So maybe he's realized the eye ya's in

Cris: I think, I think because this was my idea, I think because the watch guy was actually more than one

Reegs: Mm-hmm.

Cris: through the, the blurred lens. What? This woman with the in the clouds, there's a couple more before the watch guy. So I think there's a few of them.

And she only catches the last one. And they're going along the way to, to finally meet these dicks that are, and I think that's what Carl sees, and he is trying

Sidey: to, did you [00:52:00] did you read anything further about it?

Reegs: About the end? Yeah. No. Well, I read that the actress who played Abigail says that Abigail killed

Sidey: the filmmaker, confirmed that she was

Reegs: Yeah, I

Sidey: so. I, that's what

Reegs: was what I

Sidey: So I assumed that Abigail had just gone after maybe he'd figured it out and she was going after him to kill him as well. Yeah. In another power grab. But did you read about the actress who played Oh yeah. She died.

Cris: She passed away. No. Yeah,

Sidey: died just after the film came out.

Yeah. From just

Cris: what? I don't know

Sidey: blood disease or something. What a blood, some blood

Reegs: sepsis caused by a bacteria called Kanu. Cyto Phia.

Dan: is that? That died?

Sidey: the page

Cris: played the

Reegs: yeah. Yeah. Very

Cris: pretty. The, the young lady.

Sidey: What'd you think of it, Riggs?

Reegs: I liked this. You know, taking the piss out of these kind of people is a very obvious target.

There's nothing, even though it's sort of, it's kind of got highbrow themes and really lowbrow when you are watching and laughing at people shiting and

Sidey: puking Yeah.

Reegs: on themselves. And I enjoy, enjoyed all of the discussions about gender politics [00:53:00] and the dynamics and power dynamics and stuff. So, yeah, it's good.

It's quite long,

Sidey: Yeah. Two and a half hours, man, what the

Reegs: it's like it divided neatly into sections, so you could watch it like that at a push. But yeah, I, I enjoyed this. I had the time to sit down and enjoy a two and a half hour movie, so it was good for

Sidey: Nice. Chris,

Cris: too

long. I, I, it had really funny bits and, and quite quite funny things and things that you, you know, but just they didn't have to do it two and a half hours.

It is even, even if you, if like you say. You liked it and even you could say, oh, it could have been like three sections where you watch the first bit, then next tomorrow you watch the second bit. It's just, it's just too long. They could have made it a lot more like pacey throughout 98 minutes rather than

Sidey: 98 is very specific.

I know. I'm just saying. I didn't wanna

Cris: say 90 because

Dan: not 99.

That's too long.

Cris: what I mean. The, the classic 90 is the, the usual

Dan: stuff. A little bit of extra time in there. I'll give them

Cris: a bit of [00:54:00] extra time. Yeah,

Dan: Little bit of

Sidey: I do agree with you. I, I did enjoy it as well. I really did enjoy it. Like lowbrow, like idiot like me, I did enjoy the puking.

I would've enjoyed it a lot more if they could have just cut like 20 minutes, maybe two hours.

Reegs: to work out exactly where you would do it, because the scenes that go on for ages in the middle of the drunken chaos have got to stay in because

Sidey: yeah, I'd probably cut some of the island

Reegs: island stuff is

Cris: of the island stuff and some of the, the arguments at the beginning, the taxi scene, the,

Reegs: oh, but I like that. That's a real

Sidey: think the island section alone is an hour though. That could have

Reegs: that could have been trimmed down a bit maybe. Yeah,

Sidey: But I did, I did enjoy it.

I mean, I, I was in, I watched All in, in a er.

Cris: It is

a little bit tricky though, because there's the quote with, and, and the quote with, I worked in five star hotels. Yeah. The quote with whatever the people want. No, I'm not, I'm not

Reegs: say yes,

Cris: honestly. I've had it where people would ask for when I was working in Greece in this fancy place.

I've had it where a guy ordered some fucking fish and they delivered it from a different city, [00:55:00] and they said, we don't have it today, but we'll have it for you tomorrow. They put like

Reegs: the money,

Cris: six grand on his bill just because they delivered and they delivered the fish by taxi. Honestly,

Sidey: No fish could drive.

I'm

Cris: even, I'm not even

Dan: joking,

Cris: but the guy stayed.

It was the, I can't remember what, where he was from, but he stayed for a month in the, like the honeymoon suite or whatever. So he paid 46 grand

to

stay for one month.

Sidey: Fuck hell. So

Reegs: well this looks and sounds great. It's got a big ensemble cast doing these like really specific cool characters. Well, not cool, but

Sidey: Was the Russian guy the same Russian guy from 2012?

Was oligarch typecast?

Reegs: Yes. Yeah.

Cris: He's good though. I've seen him before in movies. He's good. He's funny. The lighting. The lighting is really

Reegs: the lighting. It's got a great look. It is got a real specific like bleak black tone that is good fun. So strong. Recommend for me,

Sidey: strong recommend for the Desiree content alone.

Cris: Strong recommend, but also

Reegs: [00:56:00] long recommend.

Cris: A long recommend and also an easy target for a movie

Reegs: it's not a very profound thing to say.

Look how miserable and shit rich and good looking people are as well. But it's

Sidey: fun to

Reegs: It's good fun though.

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: Yeah. It was, it was good.

Yeah, it was good. If you, if you don't wanna watch the whole thing, you know, do it in three bits.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: shape Island. This is apple tv, isn't it?

Reegs: yeah.

Sidey: It's about three shapes.

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: A sphere, triangle, guy.

Reegs: Triangle. Yeah.

Sidey: And a cube.

Reegs: Yeah. Square circle, triangle. Yeah.

Sidey: this, this one was, it's CS one, F1. Yeah. About bananas and stuff?

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Aimed at young adults.

Sidey: young

Reegs: It's quite young.

It's stop motion. It's

Dan: young humans. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: I'd say like, it's like a sort of, 'cause they do numbers and sort of values still a little bit, like, not look or feel, but Sesame Street kind of

Dan: 3, 4, 5. Okay. Yeah. 1, 2, [00:57:00] 3, 4, 5, 6. Yeah. 7, 8, 9, 10.

Reegs: Yeah.

And it's got a really lovely looking I thought stop motion animation like really cleverly interacting with its

Dan: been a while since we watched a Stop and

Reegs: Yeah.

And

Sidey: Okay. But it's still like a, it's still got a kind of modern look to of a stop motion thing, even though, and it's sort of a quite monochromatic palette

Reegs: It's got this, yeah. It's got these like autumnal, like late summer feeling of like warm glow to it.

Dan: How, how long are we looking at an episode?

Reegs: 11 minutes.

Dan: Right. Okay.

Sidey: come packaged like it's a 24 minute, but there's two of them.

Dan: of them. Two of them Two for one deal. Okay.

Reegs: I did think the only problem was they all look like they're made of shit, but yeah.

Sidey: Like, like yeah. The circle one sphere could have been a Don Beatles like poo

Reegs: Because, just 'cause the color is sort of moed brown. But anyway so Square likes to take a moment out every day to relax and drink a cup of tea and read his book. And he's doing that. And then he loses the light because a banana tree [00:58:00] pops up. He's like really happy to see the banana tree actually and a banana tree sprouts two bananas.

Sidey: Mm-hmm.

Reegs: So he's like overjoyed by this and he's got a bit of a thing I thought for circle. 'cause he cut in the daydreams,

Sidey: I think circle's the, the only female one, isn't it? Yeah.

Yeah.

Reegs: So circle, he goes off to Sea Circle with the bananas and sort of flummoxes the conversation and ends up giving both of them to her instead of keeping one for himself.

And then Triangle turns up he's a bit of a dick. Yeah. They relate. There's like a bit of a sort of like, you know, they don't always get on with each other, these three clearly. And there's a bit of a struggle for circles affections as well. And she ends up giving one of bananas to Triangle, who doesn't even like them, but he says, oh, I'll have to eat this just out force for politeness.

The

Sidey: It's the first time he tries it. He's like, I don't even like bananas. He doesn't say it like aggressive. He's like, I don't even like them. And you can see squares like really upset about it. Yeah. He's like, oh. And he goes, well, I'll just have to finish now even though I [00:59:00] really don't like them. And he's like, Ooh,

Reegs: He's like, I tried to do this kind thing and it's gone really horribly wrong.

So he goes back and he's like, right

Dan: we've all been there. next

Reegs: year when the banana tree does some bananas, I'm gonna get it right. So then we see a whole year go by.

Sidey: He's, he gets he feels sad. Yeah. About. About it. Then he feels there's three elements to it. He feels sad then bad.

Reegs: Yeah. Then he's mad.

And then

Sidey: he is mad bad and sad or something. He feels bad then he is sad. Then he is mad that he feels sad about feeling bad. He's just like, he, his, his gaff sort of like Minecraft, everything, because he is this cube. Everything's like cube

Dan: Ah,

Reegs: Even his cube shaped

Sidey: he just lies on the floor. Like, oh, I'm so sad.

Reegs: Did you see his cube shaped

Sidey: you see his cube shaped ready? No.

Reegs: It was good.

so yeah, he waits a year and the banana tree sprouts two more bananas. And he's like spent a year practicing as well. Like what he's gonna say to circle this time so he

Sidey: doesn't, we don't see the year in real time. I just point that out. No.

Dan: Okay. That's good.

Reegs: And so then he takes the bananas [01:00:00] off and he's practiced it and practiced it and practiced it.

But when he gets there, she doesn't say what she's supposed to say with anything that he's been practicing, which throws him off. And then wouldn't you fucking know it? The same thing happens again. Basically, she misunderstands, takes both the bananas triangle turns up, ends up taking the banana himself.

Sidey: Try triangle's. A bit of a douche. I thought has he got tele telekinetic powers? Did I read that about them?

Reegs: Has he Triangle

Sidey: triangle. He's the messiest, silliest and most disorganized blah, blah, blah. I'm sure one of them had to tell Cube is the most fastidious of the shapes.

It always rises

Reegs: Oh, circle. She has magic powers.

Sidey: Yeah. Circle voiced by Gideon Ador. That was always my favorite name when I was young. Gideon. She's the oldest, most powerful and wisest shape, unlike the other two. She has magic powers, for example. She can fly, grow grow very large and has telesis.

So she's shitting on those other two shapes. Yeah. In a big way.

Reegs: So we once again go through the loop of waiting for a year, getting the [01:01:00] bananas, going back, and it's left on a cliffhanger now because he puts the bananas on his plate and he can hear the other two outside inviting him out for a picnic. And we dunno whether he goes and

Sidey: I think he just says Fuck them.

Dan: Yeah. Wow. That's a strange engine for a kid's thing, isn't it?

Reegs: It's ultimately quite strange because the dynamic is not, it's not confrontational, but it's not, it's people who don't always get along, which of course is just like real life. But don't,

Sidey: often see that

Reegs: don't see that in a kids' program.

Dan: Yeah,

Reegs: It looks absolutely gorgeous.

Sidey: It's, it is good looking. Yeah.

Reegs: And yeah, it's really unusual. I, it was a strong recommend from me.

Sidey: And me.

And me.

Cris: Yeah. And me.

Sidey: That's that's a full house. Strong.

Chris has left us.

Dan: Yeah.

He is gone.

Sidey: And dire need of, I think a poo is it? We could time it and find out. But anyway that was good. I liked everything this week.

Reegs: Yeah. Shape

Dan: It's been, yeah, it's, it's been not a pointless week. Oh. I didn't see anything, but it sounded good. I, I'm,

Sidey: it sounded,

Reegs: Triangle of sadness was good.

I, I think you might have enjoyed it if you could find a long [01:02:00] gap in your schedule.

Dan: Yeah. I,

Reegs: really thought it was

Dan: I, it might be one of those that, because it's divided into three parts that you just go and watch the, the first bit. I would, the

Sidey: part's not that long. You could do the first two and then come back

Dan: and then come back for the third.

Yeah.

Sidey: you like an epic anyway. I dunno who it might be. You, you ate Dan? I think

Dan: it may be. I've got I've got a few ideas up my sleeve.

Sidey: Nice. Well

Reegs: by which I mean you've got none or,

Dan: No, I've, I've got one that's, I could say it right now if you want.

Sidey: Do it.

Reegs: Go on

Dan: Austin Powers.

were talking, that's our midweek.

Reegs: All right.

Okay. Okay. The first one.

All

Dan: Alright. And so you can get in on that listening at home and you can join in our, our thoughts with it.

Sidey: Oh, we've done, I was thinking about my mo I didn't do it, but we did sorry. Made an ax murder, didn't

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Cool. But we've never done

Sidey: you, you haven't, you haven't done the rest of the.

That's,

Dan: I haven't done the rest of, that's, that's the midweek,

Sidey: a

good place to start.

Dan: Yeah, I think so.

Sidey: Sound okay. All that remains then is to say, society signing out.

Reegs: res has

left the building.

Dan: [01:03:00] Dan's gone.

Sidey: Lara Ro.

Reegs: Yeah.