Sept. 24, 2021

Mortal Engines & Bob the Builder

Mortal Engines & Bob the Builder
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10 years ago my wife and I got married in a small, intimate ceremony at a local hotel and today we celebrated a decade married by packing the kids off to school and going to play crazy golf, so yeah, that's a realistic portrayal of what marriage looks like for the uninitiated. I  bring this up because it's late and I'm drunk and I don't have an interesting, funny or relevant way to introduce this weeks Top 5, which was the Top 5 Box Office Bombs. Not the explosive kind, more the kind that lose hideous amounts of money and ruin reputations and careers for ever. If you haven't stayed abreast of the net losses of movies over the years - and let's face it if you haven't you're a moron - you might find some of the movies we mention a surprise.

This weeks movie was Christian Rivers's 2018 MORTAL ENGINES, a film I was completely  unaware existed until just a couple of weeks ago. Based upon the YA novel of the same name by Phillip Reeve and produced by the visionary Peter Jackson, Hera Hilmar plays the vengeful Hester Shaw on the trail of Hugo Weaving's Thaddeus Valentine, who has a plan to eradicate so called static cities in pursuit of Municipal Darwinism. An extraordinary visual treat with more than a few nods and winks to cultural juggernauts like Star Wars and Lord Of The Rings, not all of the dads were enamored with this box office flop so proceed with caution.

We finish up this weeks show with a look back at BOB THE BUILDER in a specially selected episode titled "Wallpaper Wendy". Expect many jokes about wallpaper paste and bukakke parties but also surprisingly raw and honest emotional confessions of DIY anxiety and ineptitude. This particular episode was selected on the grounds of it's huge controversy; Bob apparently raping and killing several members of his local community. No, I jest of course but there was some genuine issues with this episode with allegations of swearing directed at the tax dodging building contractor.

We love to hear from our listeners! By which I mean we tolerate it. Try us on twitter @dads_film, on Facebook Bad Dads Film Review or on our website

Until next time, we remain...

Bad Dads


Mortal Engines

Reegs: Welcome to bad. Dad's film review the movie review podcast, where a bunch of cinephiles catch up on the movies we missed while we were too busy being dads. This week's show sees us talking about the top five movie box office bombs, the 2018 steam punk fantasy movie, mortal engines and perennial tax Dodger and building budget.

Bob, the builder, and especially selected episode. That's bound to get us all talking. I've got some good news and some bad news for you listeners. The bad news is of course, that you're listening to bad dad's film review but we can cheer you up with the rather excellent news. This week. We have five digital codes for Disney's Cruella to give away curtsy of society's mutually beneficial relationship with a certain mouse.

All you need to do is listen to next. Week's midweek mentioned where we will be reviewing the movie prequel starring the two Emma's stone and Thompson following the early days of cinemas, most notorious and notoriously fashionable villains The giveaway includes deleted scenes bloopers and behind the scenes features and is available on digital 4k, ultra HD Blu-ray and DVD from September 20th.

listened to the midweek mentioned, and there'll be a question in that and you could get your hands on a giveaway code, which is pretty cool. Digital code for Cruella. Pretty

Dan: Okay. And we're going to review that film next week in the week

Reegs: That's right.

That's right. So that's all that's left is to introduce this week's fabulous foursome of fathers, which consists of occasional internet, trolls ID, occasional, actual troll. Dan the literally could be dragged away at any moment to attend the birth of his new child, Peter, Andre, and myself righ. So I do feel like we are on a ticking time bomb now.

Really? Aren't we? I mean, you could literally be Courtney. You're saying


Pete: pretty relaxed about it.

Reegs: Ed seem relaxed, but

Pete: because yeah,

I've I've had this I've been here before.

Lots of times.

Reegs: Good. Well, congratulations.

Pete: a witness a week. Today is, is D-Day Well, it's coming out the sunroof.

Reegs: Oh, I thought we were already into overtime.

Pete: No.

no, No.

  1. We, we today all booked 10.

Reegs: ah, so the clock is not on as much as I

Pete: No. So I

can drink heavily.


Reegs: Okay Good. Excellent. All right. Well that, that will help you get through the show. I don't know what will help the listeners may be listening to some of Daniel Sidey talk.

Sidey: Did he watch.

Reegs: Yeah, maybe he's I watched alpha pepper,

the Alan Partridge movie, which was I'd missed it. And it was surprisingly good. I have to say it. It was very funny actually.

Pete: the class.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Now I just got up to the homework. That was it this week. Um And no, I left that alone.

Pete: or you can pass

Dan: moving on.

Sidey: then

Pete: you please, Dan, you'll see you've got a pen with you there.

You don't want to miss that pen.

if you haven't got it

Dan: No. Okay. Moving swiftly

Reegs: That would be noble of you if you had hoping. Now

Pete: I love


Dan: we go.

Pete: come on. We gotta be United here,

I've obviously haven't been here for a fortnight. I've watched loads and loads and loads of stuff. I'm re right up to date with money heist, which is good, but ridiculous, but still good. I've started, I've only got two episodes left, clickbait,

Reegs: I heard that

Pete: would recommend. Yeah sort of, there's, there's an element of trying to work out what's going on and every time you think, you know it turns out you got it wrong or certainly I did. I've also done, I've gone back and watched a few films inspired by the conversation we had a while ago now around the matrix and its sequels and obviously with the impending.

fourth film,

I rewatched the, the the second and third film and they're, they're better than I remember them actually,

I was probably

Dan: was, I was thinking of revisiting myself.

I did go to the matrix

Pete: you went to the matrix.

Dan: Do you know, hanging out there? No. No. Okay. So I went there

Reegs: I've just got all the clouds,

Dan: right. The glass

Pete: you've got TriNet, you've got Trinity's underwear specifically.

Reegs: side. He was genuinely quite excited about the chance to dress up in Trinity's catsuit

Sidey: from, well, we did a poll on Twitter and that's what one?

Reegs: Yeah. So you do have to dress up as Trinity when we go and see the new

Sidey: one.

Pete: There was one other film that I rewatched and I, I'm going to say it. and I'm going to get so much hate for it. This is probably my fourth or fifth time through.

And I really like it. I like avatar. I really, really like avatar.

Sidey: I've seen about half an hour of it and I've turned it off

Pete: really, really like it

Dan: And

Pete: I think I might love it actually. I

Sidey: sequels coming out, so you'll be

happy Yeah.

Pete: I fucking watched it again all the way through.

knowing what was going to

Reegs: weird that movie that it like made it just disappeared. It made such a huge


Pete: It's fucking as a visual spectacle It's unbelievable, but I,

Reegs: And of course a little tie

in to this week's movie because Steven Lang from avatar was

Pete: very true.

Reegs: What did you watch?

Sidey: I, hi.

I read it. The matrix is about actually, and also hot fuzz and I watched more summer white house gone fishing.

I don't know if anyone's

Reegs: I watched a

bit of

Pete: I've not

Sidey: Oh, it's so great. It's so great. It's like perfect TV and also been watching season three of sex education on

Reegs: yeah. We've been watching that. That's good.

Sidey: I can kind of see which way it's going and I'm not here for that kind of storyline

Reegs: Oh, I don't know. I'm only three episodes in,

Sidey: watched three. Yeah.

Reegs: So

Sidey: Ruby said that she loved him and he didn't say it back.

That's the end of episode three.

Reegs: I haven't seen that one.

Sidey: I'm sorry. Love with her. And he's blatantly there. It's going to be like Ross and Rachel isn't it will, they weren't they get together him and my wife and I just rather, I think

Reegs: getting a bit old now

Sidey: Ruby is

Reegs: she's going to

Sidey: Ruby is the one

Reegs: I think it's kind of cool that the guy in it is a bit of a Dick and he's in a wheelchair,

Sidey: but he's the villain.


Reegs: you don't he's, you know, it's a, you're allowed to be a bit of an open in a wheelchair.

Sidey: unexpected. Isn't it? Normally be not somebody in a wheelchair,

Reegs: Yeah. So, but yeah, it's a great show. And I should've mentioned Eric from sex education in last week's top

Sidey: the I think we films. We didn't have any. He gets completely top five.

Cause it don't know what,

Reegs: but it would be another gay. And it was cause I was looking back, we had, I had a gay for a Moonlight

from me night. You had a straight guy and an LGBT.

I know that comes under the plus how we had we weren't. Sure. And you went for homosexual, but a predatory one.

Dan: Well, no, it's a misunderstood Monte. He wasn't, he was misunderstood. He was looking for love. He wasn't

Reegs: well, I'm looking for a lesbian or something. P can you have you got one that you would want to put into our top five? Okay. So Sandy talks about complete

Pete: yeah, the great British bake off.

Sidey: What about Catherine Tremmel? Is it basically the same as she is by wasn't she?

Reegs: Oh yeah. That's good. That covers a lot of

Sidey: Yeah.

I've covered.

Reegs: Well, that completes the top five surely

Sidey: rigs. We got a top five this week, which was your brain child. What is it?

Reegs: box office bombs,

Sidey: which I think might have sent Dan off on the wrong path initially.

Reegs: Yeah,

Dan: initially Yeah. So it wasn't explosive bombs. It was films that lost money,

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, as Peter pointed out in the chat, there's quite a few different ways that you can look at it.

I mean, basically I was thinking of movies that lost money against their budget, even if, because I was surprised at some of the movies that you could put into this list that have become absolute classics on DVD or have made lots of money

Dan: depending on

Reegs: time after they're released. But you know, certainly every movie on here, I think that I've got tanked it's opening weekend and that really is the big

Sidey: I only do films that we've seen, but the problem with books, office bombs is that you put, you might not have seen him as the reason why they bought.

And so some of these I've got, I've tried to do ones that I've seen, but I do have some other ones they're just worth talking about.



Dan: Okay.


Reegs: I could do, I'm going to start with the good dinosaur, is a Pixar joint that lost about $85 million released in November, 2015. And this was after the likes of sort of toy story, one to three Ratatouille cars, Wally, the Incredibles up it's suffered from bad reviews, which seem to, to bury it.

But for me, this one's right up there with one of Pixar's most heartwarming movies. He, you guys seen this

Sidey: one,

Pete: a bit cowardly in the beginning isn't It was a bit of a

Reegs: Well he's kind of,

he's, he's a bit of a runt. He's the scrawny, most of the sort of litter is set in this world where the asteroid that would have destroyed all the dinosaurs didn't hit the earth.

And so dinosaurs developed and they've got a farm and he's the sort of run to new siblings are much bigger and they tease him because he's a bit rubbish and all that stuff. And then one day he chases this feral human and his father is killed by a raging flood really traumatic.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

It's, I mean, it's in a long tradition of, I don't know why the fuck they do it in kids, movies just kill a parent all the

Pete: kale at the beginning.


Reegs: It's nearly always, you know, a mum or a dad, isn't it. Anyways, the dad in this one and then Arlo undergoes the journey with the federal human child. He's kind of a bit more like a dog than anything else.

And we get some parodies of classic westerns in we get some genuine heart and emotion from the likes of Francis McDormand. Who's in it. I really think it's a terrific one, but it, it fucking tanked

Dan: Th th the critics, if they write, you know, not positively about a film, it can really kill it straight off.

And it takes a little time cause some of the films that I've I've looked at for this, they have, you can't imagine that they would have lost money now, but as you say, the first maybe week or two that they're coming out and at the cinema, nobody's gone to see him and it's taken the, the quality of the film just to find the audience and its niche a little bit more because a lot of movie goes, they're going for the fast and the furious down at the cinema, or they're going for something that's big and explosive and wild and other films that, you know, look more niche than that, but still.

Quality in them and we'll

Reegs: Todd for a Pixar movie though, not to pick up like that.

Pete: Weird I think a good barometer for that for kids films is what kids themselves. in. Cause they're not

going to,

get sort of swayed


Dan: No,

Pete: by the reviews. And my, my kids all sat down and watch this together. Maybe three, four times over, a period. Yeah, the good dinosaur.

Yeah. And all in all enjoyed it. And like they, they liked films, cartoony ones with dinosaurs.

in and stuff. So they got on board with this, so it didn't tank with them.

Dan: There was a film that opened it was a lot, it called erectile dysfunction. It was, it was a flop, I mean, but the one that I was going to go for with citizen Kane because I though it's a, you know, a classic it wasn't well received initially.

It wasn't one of those films that got people flooding into the box office to go and see. But eventually over time it found its niche. It found its its audience and it's probably made the money, you know, triple fold now.

Reegs: but yeah, it was a big bomb.

Was it,

Sidey: Yeah,

Reegs: we're heading speeding in this week's category

Sidey: I don't think, I don't think number wise, it's a huge loss. Probably isn't a loss anymore. It's just surprising to hear it when you know what that film's gone on to the legacy it has. Um So it just took me by surprise, but yeah,

I think I've got it on DVD somewhere

Pete: I can watch it at some point.

Well, similar sorts of elk but much more modern 1991, the Shawshank corridor.


on its initial release in the states against a 25 million budget. It only took 16 million on its initial release. And once a month, I think it even got pulled early

Sidey: well, it wasn't until it was rereleased at it made,

Pete: It was

Sidey: a bit more hype about it

Pete: internationally when it was released, it found a much, much sort of like, you know, more engaged with an international audience much more first.

And then when it was released in the U S it then picked up

her following,

Dan: realize how good it was

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: People in the states didn't get the title. Apparently the title was a bit like

Pete: which is something I've got about American film that you can get a, lot of. Really weirdly name felt like for me, I, I just never watched the big Lebowski.

Cause I thought, what the Fox, that? co What is that? It doesn't explain anything to me. I've still never seen the film. iHeart Huckabee. So because why is it called that And there's loads of films that just have like bizarre names that I just think I don't like that name and I'm not going to watch it until I, someone gives me a really good reason to watch it, or I find out something about it.

at a later date. I have seen the big Lebowski. Yeah. And It's brilliant. But until I had no context, I didn't know who was in it. What it was about. Yeah. I am a little bit, you know, cause yeah. And I guess, yeah, Shawshank redemption doesn't mean anything to anyone. but what a fucking incredible film really. And I didn't see it for a long time. There was quite, there was, it was the film that places I mentioned, I haven't seen that for a long time where people wanted to get violent with me.

Cause I hadn't. And I can understand why, because it's such a fucking stellar, stellar film. It's got all the things you'd want from a big sort of gripping epic

Sidey: gang rape

Pete: got gang. rape in it. It's got tunneling with the spoon it's got yeah. suicide, Yeah. Yeah. all of

Sidey: Well, that good stuff.

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: wonder woman. 84 or is it wonder woman? 1984. And then it's WW

Reegs: WW 84.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: War 84. I haven't seen world war three.

Sidey: Well, that one is in wonder woman went back on onto is I think a victim probably of COVID. Everyone went ape shit over the first film. I don't think it's. I think it's okay.

Dan: it wasn't that great.

Sidey: I don't think it's as great as everyone makes out, but in any case it was a huge success. So they greenlit SQL pretty Pronto.

And I can't remember exactly what the budget for this was, but I think it's somewhere in the region of 200 million. And then because of COVID it was delayed, delayed, delayed, then they were like, think it was, it just released streaming only, or was it a hybrid of

Reegs: been a hybrid

Sidey: but it ended up losing a hundred million, but it's also a pretty shit film.

Reegs: Yeah. I don't know that this would have made a

Sidey: huge impact

Reegs: the box office

Dan: It would have done if it all being well, I reckon you'd have probably made 300 million just because

Reegs: I think word of mouth would have buried it because it's

Sidey: a bit of a Turkey.

Dan: Yeah.

maybe, but I think if cinemas had been opened, it would have made more money.

Sidey: I definitely think it would've made more.

I don't think it would've been a smash, like the first one. But she is really something else. There's a scene of her. I don't have you seen it. because I sit there. They'd have some big posh.

Fundraising ball or something rather than she goes long in this gown is just fucking unreal.

And there's also a montage of Chris pine trying on outfits in the 1980s.

Pete: got to have a montage

Sidey: that the two best bits of the film, the rest of it is fairly tad.

Reegs: Armie hammer has had a really bad year in that multiple women have accused the actor of abuse. One alleging that he branded his initials into her pelvis and he, that he also asked another woman to have her lower ribs surgically removed so that he could eat it.

He also started in two flops that I really, really like both based on old timey TV shows, which is a thing. One is the man from

Sidey: uncle

Reegs: and one of guy Ritchie's best movies. In my opinion, a stylish cold


Dan: seeing this, this Henry Cavill, this

Reegs: Now he plays the art thief, Napoleon solo. And he's this sort of suave bond desk

Dan: Napoleon So

Reegs: Oh, the names are incredible in this. He's partnered with KGB

Sidey: agent

Reegs: Curry Arkin.

Dan: boring name,

Reegs: yeah.

Pete: It is strong. That could be a front runner for my kid.

Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: Next week.

Napoleon solo flight.

Reegs: Uh It's good. I think they have to take down Nazis. Probably. It's probably Nazis, isn't it? And there's a nuclear bomb. I think it's a beautiful looking movie.

It's filmed on location and with style, the actors are the top of their game, Cabos like suave and witty and you know, like bond, like I said, and hammer is angry and fierce and it's a good old twist on the classic enemies, working together type story. The other one is the lone ranger. And I like this way more than the fucking pirate movies, I have to say.

It's gore Verbinski as well in this stars, army hammers, John Reed, the lawyer turned masked vigilante. You seen this one, the lone

Dan: I have seen it. Yeah. Yeah. It was a while. But Johnny Depp.

Reegs: It's got Johnny Depp. He plays Tonto, who is actually the mastermind behind everything. And you've got William Fe fished, ner Fickner,

you know, the guy from hate and what, what stops as Butch, Kevin dishes?

They sort of cannibal outlaw yeah, it's, it's in that vein of pirates of the Caribbean and it's by the same guy, but for me, it's, it's much better because the visual sequences are probably a bit better and the characters are more interesting. So, yeah, but they both flopped hard as fuck. And he's really odd.

Dan: Well, I've got another flop. It was that movie about a fly fishing bad casting. I think that's what did that but Ali

Reegs: Michael man.

Dan: yeah it was some figures for you. It grows to total of 87.7 million and still lost 63.1 million. It was opened in the U S on Christmas day, 2001 low to people went to see it.

You know, th the, the biopic of Muhammad Ali it's it's a decent film and it's a decent biopic in will plays in, well,

Reegs: I really liked

Dan: he's, he's a fantastic, but he lost money. It just didn't seem to pull the, the crowds in it may have made that money back now. But certainly at the time it, it struggled.

Pete: seen it.

Dan: Yeah, it is. It is because he's there's some great scenes in it. I wouldn't say the whole film was, you know


strong eight or nine out of 10, but it's, it's an age. I like those films anywhere. I like

Reegs: are very good

Dan: scenes, the training montage, when it gets to Africa and

Reegs: He gets Ali spirit as well. I think quite well, you know, he catches it. I mean, it doesn't really look much like him, but he

Dan: he put on a lot of weight actually, for the part, he, you know, he completely did the, the method acting Starlin and transformed his body into Ali as best he could. And the, they do this big rumble in the jungle scene and everything is good. I enjoyed it. I mean, I haven't rushed back to see it again, but it's actually one that now I'm talking about it.

I might go and watch it again.

Pete: I'll give it a chance. Well, I'm going to do another biopic then which this, this was a box office flop.

I found, I really liked the film because it was a story I didn't know. And I found the story interesting. And I also think the performance was fucking incredible from Jim Carrey and man on the moon in 1999 about Andy Kaufman and his life. And how, just how like fucking sort of tortured you What now.

I don't remember much Andy Kaufman stuff. I think he was in

Dan: taxi

Pete: taxi and stuff. So

Reegs: I more went and visited his stuff after seeing the film, to be honest,


Sidey: remember,

Pete: you know, the, the sort of, you know, like the comedy, obviously, Jim, is a brilliant kind of like visual comedian and really throws himself into any part that he plays, but doing a biopic.

But there was a lot of tragedy around the individual and even the fact that he basically just sort of disappeared or I think he'd like announced on like live TV that he had, he was dying of cancer and everyone thought he was a joke. So

Dan: REM did a song

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Not so much.

a fan of REM,

Dan: Yeah, it, it was interesting.

This is a documentary I think as well called Jim KA.

Sidey: Jim, cause he needed, he lost his mind and he went

Dan: Yeah. Play in the park, going that method.

Pete: Yeah. Well, You could see, I mean the performance is, is incredible. He really like goes for it.

Reegs: Well, you have, you know, a sort of depressive comedian playing a depressive comedian.

It's gonna that's inception levels of depressing comedians. So

Pete: yeah, so now I've really, I've really liked the film, but yeah, it flops at the box office.

Maybe not surprisingly, it depends if you're not into Andy Kaufman I'd I happened upon the film,

but it was a good,

Dan: it's worth saying that a lot of the films that I looked at and researched on and thought what I've lost money, they've lost money. It shouldn't always be about money making film, should it, you know, it,

Sidey: some of these though are like bankrupting studio numbers.

Dan: these are, these are making films to make money. You know, it's almost the Ryan's world of filmmaking, isn't it, you're just churning this shit out so you can go and get people on, and it's not really telling you anything or saying anything. But then you've got some films that actually deserve to be made.

Even if they've lost a little bit of money, then that's okay. It eventually, or find over time an audience and it will stay the course a lot longer than maybe avatar, or I know that you loved it, but you know, it costs a lot at a time and a few others that we'll mention actually I think, well, what are they worth spending that money?

Reegs: Well but they, some of those big ones that were huge hits, like avatar, the money that goes back into the studio does allow them to make the ambitious misfires, like cloud Atlas or, you know, some of the other stuff that we've talked about. So yeah, it's, it's a balancing act, I think.

Dan: Yeah. I mean, that's it, but betting the whole farm on a film is, you know, it's not really, I know that maybe that's the way the industry works.

You just go all in. But somebody filmed just the amount of money that they, they put into it and you think fucking hell, that was shit. Like, you know,

Sidey: 2016, this is a favorite of yours rigs, Ghostbusters, the all female cast, which got a lot of, I'm

  1. No, it's angry about it being for women. And you mentioned.

Do you want about reviews getting the film? Because the said nerds were so angered, they bombarded sites like rotten tomatoes or whatever it is, or that with low reviews, before it even come out where it was available to be reviewed so that it just had this negative vibe just around it the whole time.

It's not a great film,

Reegs: going to say the problem was nobody got a chance to watch it and decide that it was shit

Sidey: I actually don't mind it. It's not a great film, but it's all right. I don't mind that seeing it twice now. And it's all right.

Pete: I don't, I'm not a fan of things like that. This like seeming like people feel that they now have to go back through time and make film, take collections of guys and turn them into collections of women or, or represent them with different sort of ethnic backgrounds or something.

It's like, why do that? Why not make a really fucking good film with four women? just do that. Don't like take something because it was four guys and that's a bit sexist because the women didn't have a chance to like, play those parts, just make a fucking good film with women. And

like, why does it

Reegs: it didn't bother

Pete: cause you're say you're setting it up to fail. By putting it came pairing. Cause Ghostbusters, I don't not so much the sequel. I don't think but Ghostbusters was a big fucking hit. Right. So like, why do something like that? Just make a really good film with, with four women in it.

Sidey: But


Pete: want to right wrongs.

Sidey: No, I won't say it. And it ended up losing $81 million, which is a bit of a hit to take

Reegs: new one looks interesting though.

Sidey: I'm excited for new. Yeah, that's great.

Dan: a, that's a three bed house over here now. Isn't it? One mil.

Pete: there's a new Ghostbusters coming out.

Sidey: Yeah,

Pete: What?


Reegs: think that pro it's got some, it's got a kind of stranger things vibe to it really is.

Sidey: Finn Wolfhard in it. Yeah.

Pete: Is it

what is it? What's it a reboot?

or a

Sidey: It's a sequel.

Pete: Oh, so it's got,

is it got bill Murray and the guys

in it,

Reegs: girl in it looks suspiciously like

Sidey: Econ say

Reegs: So

Dan: bill Murray back in it.

Sidey: someone's in the trailer. The end. Is it bill Murray?


Reegs: there is a voice, isn't it? No, it's it's Akroyd is

Sidey: It's bill Murray's birthday today.

Reegs: Happy birthday bell.

Pete: We know we will be listening.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Happy birthday, bill.

Reegs: You mentioned movies that bankrupted the studios. I've got one for you. If you'd like it's cutthroat island.

Sidey: I have

Reegs: Gina Davis and Matthew Modine.

Dan: I think I have seen

Sidey: it. I didn't say at the cinema though. So I didn't

Reegs: Well, nobody did. Nobody did. I'm certified at one point by the Guinness book of records. No less. That's the biggest financial bomb of all time. It got terrible reviews, but before it came out, it bankrupted the producer, Carol co pictures.

They done terminated two and Rambo first blood.

Sidey: So

Reegs: they probably had a bit of cash but it bankrupted them and it pushed director Remy, Harley. And who did diehard to, and what's the

Dan: three.

Reegs: no it's Jon Voight and they're in the mountains now. Is it John?

Pete: in the mountains?

Reegs: cliff.

yeah. Still own. Yes.

Pete: Go.

John, let's go,

Reegs: go, thank you.

In this one, Gina Davis plays the notorious lady pirate Morgan Adams, and she's on the trail of the titular treasure

Dan: This was a TV thing.

Reegs: TV thing

Dan: I watched.

Reegs: Oh yeah, no,

Dan: I didn't see it cinema.

Reegs: no, God, no. It had a number of issues, really. Some more real than others. It ran hugely over budget and suffered from really bitchy gossiping because the director and the lead actress were a couple and there was all this stuff saying she only got the job

Dan: incestuous

Reegs: of it and it's stupid, but you know, it's a shame because this was 1995 and it has had the relatively novel idea that a women should have the lead role

in a

big summer flick like this

Pete: She was never so much, she's been in a few things. I've never seen

Thurman reason. Oh, the fly

She was

in, ah, Michael Keaton beetle juice. Yes. She in beetle juice.

Reegs: Yup

Pete: But she was always like thought of as a bit of a siren and I didn't really get it.

She wasn't

Sidey: too good at archery.

Dan: She went to the Olympics.

Sidey: represented

Pete: Well that makes, that makes, That



Reegs: I like an Archer

She the Franklin Gail is in it from your favorite movie. Most of the university has got some decent stunts. Gina Davis has a monkey on her shoulder a lot. So, you know, this sounds like there's a lot to like,


It originally had Michael Douglas, Jeff Bridges and Oliver Reed in the cast, which would have been much better

Pete: than

Reegs: read, was fired for getting drunk and

pulling his Dick


Pete: He is a legend.

Dan: I think he's one of those films that if they're made for like a quarter of the money, it had been fine. It's just that they

Sidey: Yeah. If it's coming under budget, it was still, it would have started still a lot better chance. It lost apparently 178 million

Pete: That's a lot of

Sidey: adjusted for inflation. That's a lot of money.

Dan: that's you know, a detached house with parking.

Pete: Yeah,

Maybe, maybe even a conservatory.

Dan: Yeah.

There was that octopus film that they, they did. But they had to temporarily stop filming because they were experienced tentacle difficulties. And there was that Nostradamus film. No,

Pete: technical difficulties.

These these are now like fucking, I slowly stick.

Dan: no, I'm going to go, I'm going to go for the the Nostradamus film that, that flop, they didn't see it coming

Pete: It's

Dan: But not as bad as this film, the postman it was Kevin Costner's 1997, post apocalyptic adventure film. I actually didn't mind this too much. He went on for like six years. And it was the near future then of the year 2013. When everything was just like Dustin shit and Outlaws and everything it was released on Christmas 97 and it was a major critical failure and a box office bomb gross in a total of 20 million.


Reegs: thoughts, something

Dan: no, I, I actually like cost snow and. She didn't mind this film too much. He did it, I think Waterworld must have lost a few quitters. Well cause it costs so much didn't it? Did it eventually make,

Reegs: even eventually I think

Pete: think it,

just costs so much. It was over a hundred million dollars, which at the time was I think at the, I think

up until Titanic came along.

it was the most expensive film ever made.

Reegs: the hardest thing to do, they all say donate is to film in the

Pete: water. Yeah

Reegs: That's the

Pete: Or cutthroat island. I presume there is a lot of, or that one you were talking about before. Yeah. That, yeah, there's obviously there's a theme there because Titanic cost a few Bob as well, which like that didn't well, the

ship sank but the film.



the, But yeah, Waterworld, I really liked

Dan: well it was the same.

The postman was decent enough. It was nominated for all five golden raspberry awards including worst film and it won them. So and that's the the opposite of the Oscars. I think the golden

Sidey: rule,

Dan: Bruce

Reegs: hate the golden raspberry it's so mean

spirited and it's just I hate it.

Fuck off golden raspberries.

Pete: Yeah.

Well, in that case, I've only spoken about films that I've liked so far. So I'm going to talk about a film that I fucking detest that I think is my most hated film of all time. And it's no surprise to me that it was a box office flop bison fucking Taniel man is hands down.

The worst piece of shit I've ever seen in my life

Reegs: I've seen it a couple

Pete: it

Sidey: goes on

Pete: forever. It literally lasts two centuries which is why it's called bicentennial man. fucking awful. I'm a massive, really, really big Robin Williams fan, but this was


Reegs: pretty cool in it.

Pete: absolutely dreadful. Definitely. I'd feel I'm actually feeling enraged now, just talking about it I'll never get those 17 hours or whatever it was back in my life.

I did watch it with Harry. Yeah, I remember In, in the lounge of the flat that we had at the time, fucking hating every last minute of it. But after I'd invested like an hour and a half and there was still seven hours,

to go, I was, I was

I need to sort of get, I need closure on this.

And, and it fucking got worse and worse. Absolutely hated it. Quickly another film that did flop at the box office, which I didn't hate, but cause me to basically have like a psychotic.


At the cinema to walk out the cinema and go and fucking console myself in, in the, in the foyer and he ice cream was a event horizon which I have since watched all the way through and enjoy two apart.

I I don't mind the film. I'd quite like a lot of the film, but it just got me at a really like vulnerable time in my life where there was some meds and it fuck it. I didn't see it coming totally blindsided me.

I thought it was going to be really I thought it was just going to be a cool Saifai film. I heard Saifai and prodigy soundtrack and I was like, oh my God, this is the film I need to watch in my life.

And then when

people are,

Sidey: Neil's

Reegs: peeling

his face and

Pete: people are tearing their eyes out and shining and Latin and fucking being hung

from like, oh my God, I've never ever like it fucking jarred me.

for you. But I'm over it now but I thought I'd

mentioned that.

Reegs: should do that for a midweek

Pete: Oh, thanks. Yeah. I could watch it now. I wouldn't want to watch it at nighttime by myself. Cause I fucking,

I wouldn't escape. I

Reegs: we'll watch it in the man cave together.

Pete: as long as I can. As long as I can spoon you. It's fine.

Dan: singing kumbaya,

Sidey: I didn't want to say in blade runner 2049

Dan: Ryan I'm

Sidey: Gosling and Harrison Ford. Again, I'm not a flop on my part because I went to cinema to see it. I did fall asleep, but I did go and pay money for, to see it directed by Denny, Denny Villeneuve.

Who's on a bit of a hot streak. You don't care about


Reegs: I, when we went, see Chiang

Sidey: ki

Reegs: and the trailer was up on the screen, I was like, oh, fuck me.

I've remembered why the cinema is the cinema, because I've seen that trailer countless times. It's done nothing for me, but on the cinema screen, I was just like, that looks amazing. I've got to go and see it.

Sidey: Yeah, well, he's been given, I guess, a load of money to make that, but that's off the back of blade runner 24 9, which lost $84 million. And on one hand you think, well, that blade runner, you know, such a highly regarded film, you would've thought there would've been people, but it's not.

It's more of a cerebral kind of thinking kind of thing. It's not a big action. SciFest I suppose a lot of film nerds, like it. Not everyone likes it

Reegs: the originals like that as well.


Sidey: It means that the original is like that. So that maybe you shouldn't have expected.

Dan: I'm going to drop the mic here. So I'd never really enjoyed over them. But I enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed the original

Sidey: bleak and

Dan: Yeah, they are. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

I feel we need to probably cover both of those movies because I'm a bit conflicted how I feel about them.

Both. I know everybody talks about blade runner is this amazing classic. And I do see lots of that in it, but

Dan: I think it might just been the idea at the time, you know, that it was fairly radical in the, in their fat you've got cyborgs and you've got a future kind of state and who knows actually how the world.

Pete: was incredible for its time and yeah. yeah.

Dan: And it's influenced a lot of films, but I think some of those films that have been influenced by this have actually gone.


Pete: surpassed it.

Dan: it. Is it coming back round to you

Reegs: yeah, it has. Yeah. I was going to go for one that I was surprised at, which was fight club. One of the most iconic films. No, you mustn't talk about it. You know, it really propelled David Fincher and Brad Pitt and ed Norton right out into the AA list. It felt like, but it didn't start that way.

And they, you know, Finch and notoriously clashed with. Production company about how to market the movie. And it, it, it opened two $11 million and tapped out at $37 million. And it was $65 million was what they spent on it. But obviously it became a huge sleeper hit on DVD. A bit like children of men, which was another one I really like Alfonso Koran.

And I really liked this movie, maybe, you know, it's got great, incredible sequences in it that long

take stuff

Dan: It was a great idea actually.

Reegs: but, and I think that's what makes it difficult because it's messages that kind of oblique. And it doesn't really answer the question of the central thing about why people are stopped giving, having babies and stuff.

And it doesn't matter in the story, but maybe that's why it didn't connect with

Dan: women have just decided they're not having sex with us

Pete: Oh So that is happening. in other households. Is that okay? Right. Just, I had these two on my in fact that the top two I've got on my list here. so children of men, I thought it was an excellent film, Surprise me that that it was a flop, but I don't know if


split guess it would have you think some of the sets must've been pretty like cost a lot of money for, you know,

Reegs: the CGI and like incorporating that into those

long takes that he does because there's a big grim dystopian backdrop to

everything as well. So

Dan: It's Clive Owen,

Reegs: yeah, it

Pete: is. Yeah,

Dan: he is for me a, a strong lead man. I know that he isn't maybe triple ice star category,

Reegs: hasn't done

Dan: He, I always liked him though in, in this stuff that he does. I a, but like KU sack where he just seems to play that, that character. And as that style about him, whichever charactery he puts himself in.

I like him because it it's

Pete: he's easy. He is quite the films. I think I've seen him in and he is quite sort of one dimensional. It's all kind of like very like deadpan understated. He's in like inside man as well. And he's, you know, he's not, he doesn't seem to play a variety of,

cat. They've all

Reegs: shoot them up. Have you seen

Pete: I've not seen it. No. But fight club?

Right. So I really liked fight club, like all the way through the first time I watched it with no sort of preconceived ideas until like the reveal that it's like a similar to the thing that we're talking about in the midweek mentioned of like, you know, personality, split personality disorder and that, and then it, and then I was like, right.

Okay. So that, those bits of the Henry's getting fucking battered, he's like battering himself, And he's like punching himself in the face all over.

a car park.

And so they show you.

Okay. I remember at the time being really disappointed cause like this is it, Tyler Durden. is the, is Brad Pitt's. carrier. So it's what a fucking call cat.

I mean, Brad Pitt just plays cool characters and is a cool guy himself. But I remember sort of being disappointed with that as like the main kind of like theme of the film that it was, you know, I thought it would have stood up if, if it hadn't of had that. So I, I I don't know. I guess what I'm saying is I'm not saying that's why it was a flop initially, and I know it's got a cult following, but I remember like, sort of coming away from it thinking like, oh, okay. I loved 90% of it until like the reveal of what it was all about.

Maybe I missed the point

Reegs: She's Jared Leto really hard in the

Pete: was that it going for it? yeah

Reegs: swings it for, it does for me.

Pete: Okay.

Dan: Right. That Tom cruise one about cooking. That was shit. A few good menus.

No, I I'll leave that then.

Reegs: Wow.

Pete: a long way from the belters


Dan: of of yesteryear. Well I am, I am struggling with ones because you've mentioned a lot of the ones that I've was going to put in, but there is one that I would like to mention we should, if I can find called the iron giant. Which have you seen this

Pete: maybe

I've certainly seen

Dan: is one of the best animations I've seen.

I mean, certainly outside of the studio Ghibli kind of stuff. I thought this was fantastic. You had Jennifer Anniston, Harry Connick Jr. VIN diesel.

Pete: Harry Conroy

Dan: yeah, that's him Harry carrot, Jr. And it was a, there was a ton of great voices in this story of This huge giant coming into a junk yard, hiding away, a kid, the FBI looking at, you know, it was, it was like a Goonies type of kid's film, animation style.

At Brad bird had a really swinging kind of jazz soundtrack to it as well with Harry Carey Jr. And it was a, yeah, you know a really brilliant movie lost money, don't know, 70 or 80 million at lost. I don't know how much it tastes to make a cartoon. I, I guess most of this goes on the voices. You think that they must command

Pete: heard of, I haven't heard of CA Harry carrot junior, but

Dan: You've not heard of how he con Rick Jr. Of course.

Pete: It's still not right. still not right.

Dan: chronic,

Pete: chronic. Yes. That's it.

Dan: He knows who he is. I don't have to tell him.

Pete: Similarly, quite a lot of the ones I've got here, have been mentioned one of the thing that's worth revisiting and we reviewed it, not that long ago, mother, because I, think that this, I feel like it has to be, it may, maybe it won't because of the

content is too strong mother.

Dan: name your sex tape.

Pete: I think maybe possibly the content might be a bit too much for, for people. And also like the, the irritation that you're meant to feel from it is is going to be too much. So I actually recommended it to somebody who then came back and was like, fucking, what were you doing? night for 45 minutes or an hour basically when they were like trashing the house and sitting on the sink all the fucking time, I just got so irritated.

I switched off and I was like, that was the point like, you you've bailed it. like, and then I explain the rest of the film to this guy and he was like, fuck, I wish I'd like, stayed with it.


When I explain what the purpose of it and the themes and everything was about. But I think maybe it will always kind of say. because of how, like visually what about how irritating it is, how some of the content was really fucking heavy.



Dan: like a, it's like one of those long bus rides in Asia where you bounce around for like 20 hours and you, you start to feel like everybody is in it together, you know, and you've completed this journey. You really wish you didn't fucking do it, but once you've done it, it's done and you can talk about it and go on.

Oh, that was great. But it was, it, it was an odd deal to

Pete: if you gain enlightenment from

that journey at the end of it, which You do

through this film, then, then it's a hundred percent,

Dan: I still, I still, you know, I take that your, your man's point, there is in a film that will piss you off, but a film that I've recommended to people as well, because I just think it's a, a really great film.

Sidey: And a couple of others we've reviewed on the pod Terminator, dark fate, which I thought was shy.

Dan: lost

Sidey: I lost big 134 mils. So maybe that'll be the end of that franchise.

Dan: it won't be,

the franchise is good. There's still stories in it. And I think any,

Sidey: Always the same story

Dan: yeah. But yeah, they would,

Sidey: we've had the best version of that story.

Dan: the whole future to play with. So it's with robots, they'll, they'll

Sidey: They want to losing one cats which we all enjoyed. Last, I've got $115. I think that's, what's the $115 million. Um

Reegs: Would say, I have got like it's bleak and as awful as it was watching cats, having to watch that, I enjoy thinking about the rum tum tugger and I sing it every time I

see you

Pete: me the rum tum tugger when you. came in here tonight. So,

Reegs: So it's given me that

Sidey: but the film that I'm going to put forward, I haven't seen it. But as soon as you mentioned bombs, it's the first one that sprung to mind is heaven's gate, which was Michael Camino's follow-up to, it's not a followup. The film, he followed day hunter with

Reegs: I only know this by


Sidey: same. It, it bombed massively. I think at the time it was the biggest, I think it took this, might've taken the studio down. It was, it was fucking off the charts, massively overrun. He was Patty was an absolute nightmare. 50 takes of everything. It

Dan: But

Sidey: shot on location as well.


Dan: this guy like the keys to the bank and they've said, look, you've just done the deer hunt. Oh, fucking brilliant.

It's there you go. Have what you want. And he's just taking these, create his, let his creative juices flow. He doesn't give a fuck about the money. Somebody else is picking up if it costs the studio. Yeah, it probably won't. I'm sure he had a lot of confidence that he would do well.

Sidey: But the first

Dan: he's getting 50 takes

Sidey: cut of it that he gave to the execs was five hours, 15

Dan: Brilliant, brilliant. Yeah. Like no cons,

Pete: Same as bicentennial,

Dan: is creative is no concept of maybe, you know, the marketing and the commercial side of it. You're saying this is a film that would

Sidey: Well, they weren't keen. They weren't keen on that. They didn't think that would


Dan: know what sells.

Sidey: I think it was, I think it was three hours plus when it was released and then they further hacked it to bits to get another re be released, but it ended last 127 million.

It was fucking slated by critics when it came out, but is now seen as being a classic it's in the top. I think it's 97 and they're like top 100 American film, blah, blah, blah. So it's been a real change of a opinion about it. So maybe it was worth

Dan: sounds like it needed to be told in a cereal or something really. You know, to get the best out of it. Like

Reegs: I was waiting for the poem it's coming. No.

 I'll finish up with Titan.

Anyone uh that I had seen it before on TV, but I was surprised to find today that it's started Matt Damon. Yeah,

he's some kind of blue collar space worker guy whose father rescued him from earth destruction and helps them get onboard a spaceship called Titan on a mission to save something or other it's an animated movie, probably the last of them before 3d animation took over, because this was just before toy story changed everything.

Whether it's like sleeker, 3d animation, it was guy, it was done by a couple of ex Disney animators, Don Bluth and Gary Goldman. They, they were the guys who did the land before time and American tale

among others

Dan: tailwind cinema for that

Reegs: Yeah. The script for tight ne has a credit to Joss Wieden, which is interesting. So despite the kind of many weaknesses kind of generic cartoony there, I remember it as, but there's kind of enough unique about it to dig into it.

If that sort of thing is your jam. Two years after this statement entered the animatic animated world again with a spirit stallion of the cinnamon.

Sidey: so much.

Reegs: Oh, that's good. I've seen that for too. Yeah, it's good. It's good. We should review that. That's good.

Dan: Well you mentioned 3d Hugo 2011 Scorsese film that lost a few quid. It was short in 3d.

Yeah. Jack Frost, I think you mentioned that earlier as well. That was the, my Michael Keaton Kelly Preston film. And he played the title character, a father, a musician killed in a car accident. You always reserve

Reegs: a serial killer

Dan: a serial killer. Okay. This guy gets killed only to be brought back in the life to life in the form of a snowman.


a true story. Yeah. And it, it got just 34 million back of it to a 50, 80 million pound dollar budget. The doula, the laws, the two littles doodles, Dr. Do little and do little both the, the early version and the one we've Robert Downey Jr. Lost money.

Pete: And the first one. that was in my fair lady. Rex

Harrison. Yeah.

I liked that film.



haven't seen the

Sidey: give him some money. They lost loads.

Dan: They, they lost a few quid. Probably made it back now. And the last one I'll mention is Donnie Darko,


I was surprised to hear that lost money.

Kind of film Jake Gillan hall young Jake Gillan hall in that one. And it, I think it was lost about 3 billion quits. So, but th there was a plane crash in the trailer

Sidey: before nine 11

Dan: before nine 11.

So I think that made it a little bit bad

Sidey: difficult to stomach people. Yeah. And it's a fucking weird film. Yeah. The word of mouth would have been like, oh, this film is like fucking mental.

Reegs: oh, it was probably that guy who was like running around, going, you've got to watch this film and making everybody sit down and watch it.

Cause I did that with loads of people. I really connected with it. Yeah.

Sidey: oh, it's good. It's got Swayze in it. It was a PD, it was a Peter,

Pete: I'm just finishing off my list. Only, only worth mentioning. It has been briefly mentioned rigs and I loved it cloud Atlas, but didn't make lots of money or any I really liked around the world in 80 days, the Jackie Chan Steve Coogan one with Arnold Schwartzenegger just because

Sidey: was,

Pete: It was just fun and funny, but I think they, they chucked a load of money at it and it, and it tanked


Reegs: Jackie Chan's character is like Louis passport or

Pete: Yeah.

Yes, that's right. Yeah that is right. And yeah, Schwartzenegger plays a ridiculous like character in it and it's I I enjoyed it, but it's, it's definitely, yeah, definitely. Didn't make any money.

And the last one of my list, more so for two reasons, one to troll rigs and the other ones to get dance to his impression, labyrinth.

I always enjoy that. And I always enjoy rigs, right. trying to pretend that they, were berries, not fucking cool as fuck.


Reegs: pretty cool

Pete: It was a, it was a, it was a fun, big film at the time. I think probably

I'm guessing Jim Henson spill, like what he sent in, like killed him. Cause he like did everything in it apart from the three humans that are in it.

And and so yeah, that, that, that alone, that, that bill took it Way beyond It's a means to

earn money.

Reegs: ever fucked. One of the Muppets.

Pete: Yeah.


If you could fuck him up, who would it be?

Reegs: comment.

Sidey: Yeah. Have you seen that picture with this? No

Reegs: What are you doing there with this?

Sidey: asshole gay thing.

Reegs: surprisingly, no, I don't think I have seen the picture of Cabot with his asshole gaping. No

Pete: well divas, Peggy. she seems up for

Reegs: Philip Jewess.

Sidey: Hmm. Sadly, we've got a Michael bay film. It didn't make any money transformers the last night. And I think

Reegs: Is

Sidey: it's, one of the Walberg ones. It's the second Warburg one. Yeah. Stupid of course lost. I


Pete: watched any of those transformer films. Any of them not watch the single minute of any of them?

I don't


Reegs: you can achieve the exact sensation of watching a transformer's fight scene by driving your car really fast off some sort of ravine and tumbling. Over and over and over, because that's basically the sensation of, of watching

Sidey: also tragically. The transformers. The movie of 1986 was also a loss maker.

Moulin another COVID victim Disney, Disney film that they had to just put onto the streaming service Disney plus?

Pete: the

live action one.

Sidey: Yeah, I don't like fees, so I'm kind of happy, not happy, but hopefully I just, just stopped doing it. They films are all great on their own and it need to be just spend that money on something outside of that.

But they lost 147 million.

Yeah. Which is a lot of money

Dan: two bed flat.

Sidey: Should we make this into a top four? Release. Go for it.

Reegs: Well I'm going to go big and go hard and go early by putting this week's movie mortal engines in, as my pick for top five movie box office flops. That's how I discovered it because I thought of this topic and Googled box office flops and this movie cropped up, I never heard of. And then I saw it was, you know, Peter Jackson had written it and all that.

And I was like, what the fuck? So I had to pick it and turned out. It was pretty good. And I'm picking it this week.

Dan: Okay. I'm going to go for the future Pixar director, Brad bird's film the iron giant, which he made in 1999.

And it flopped

Pete: is it a bit too cool. Now I'm going to go, I'm going to go Shawshank redemption It's a stellar film that didn't know the, bombs or the box office. Initially

Sidey: I'm putting Ghostbusters 2016,

Dan: probably the worst effort so far, but okay. I've not seen it. So who am I to say?

Why? Okay. I'll I'll make the FM

Pete: I'm fairly sure it's crap.

So you got a cheese?

Yeah. You got a cheese from the. That'll work.

Sidey: was excellent.

Dan: That was good cheese content. What cheese do we have?

Pete: Let me just get the images of the notes.

Dan: Cause I had a hard one earlier and that was

Pete: I

Sidey: saw that

Pete: I actually saw that. Sorry,

Reegs: with COVID the frog,


Pete: the cheeses that we have, tonight, two of them we've had before and, we get to love them again. One is that it was the first time we'd ever tried a marinade.

Goat's cheese, a Meredith marinated goats, cheese to be specific it's a soft velvety, fresh cheese marinated in olive oil with time garlic and peppercorns, and the garlic really comes through in It's a,

it's a really strong cheese.


Sidey: it's just not enough of it. If

Pete: there isn't enough of it. And it becomes

Reegs: small isn't


Pete: It's


Dan: have an identity.

Pete: Yeah. Yeah

Sidey: There's, there's still a bit left.

Pete: It becomes quite hard to manage, especially with the spoon. Cause you can't

dig it out of the spoon, but yeah. Anyway,


very good. There's

Reegs: would you recommend a particular biscuit with that?

Pete: I felt like there was no leading


Dan: Genuine biscuit question.

Sidey: Yeah.

Pete: I've just gone for a, sort of a, it's called a bath square. I can't read much about it there, but it's almost like a sort of a solid cracker and I think you don't need anything with too much flavor. There's so much garlic and peppercorns coming through. in the goats cheese.

Sidey: No relics required.

Pete: In

fact we've I've not touched the relish all night.

I think that one of them needs a bit we'll come on to that. So another one we've had before is the

which is the triple cream cheese sinfully rich. it's discarded. This was the one that I think you'll remember that the gastrinoma

and tell me, but he at 17 once said dessert is w without cheese is like beauty with only one eye.

Yeah. So

Sidey: I do remember that

Pete: yeah. It's good

Dan: on a t-shirt it comes out in a nice, yeah, it comes in a nice little wooden box. That one doesn't

Pete: It's in its own little wooden pot.

which is quite nice. Yeah. It's quite oozy, but now it's up to room temperature. So they were the, the, the old faithfuls this, this one, I think it's made a big impression on all of us, which is the the F in no, it's not that one. It's the form , Dom bear Zevia Maha, which is a, from relish Rover, which is where we get the cheeses from a succulent classic blue cheese from the over region.

cheeses aged for 10 weeks by to create the richest creamiest texture. It's a delicate blue flavor and is soft and smooth

Sidey: work. I'd say

Pete: it's right up there.


the, with

Dan: I've, I've gotta be a little more adventurous on the blues. I'm I'm I'm.

Sidey: You could give over this for sure. Yeah.

Pete: Yeah. This is, I'd say top of the mid range of blue cheeses.

in that It's punchy and pungent, but not like some, there are some blues that will make you wince and this isn't one of them. So I'd, I'd get amongst it.

Dan: Y yeah, cause I, I might crack open that bottle of red later and I think this could be the time to try though.

Pete: what are no better time than now, Daniel. And then finally, it's the the F in a cave aged M and toddler, which is basically your bog standard Emmental, but it's been matured for 16 months.

It does say in his cave, which but it doesn't mention who the he is but it's where the warmer conditions lead

to flavors that are truly unique. It gives, yeah, it gives it, it's more intense. It's more complex. It's got a long finish as the flavor develops from sweet to tangy and even meaty. And it's an after dinner, after dinner, cheese for AEM and target aficionados. I think this one with some relish is going to

Sidey: all that is buttocks. It's boring. It needs a radish on it to make it good.

Pete: it's great. It's a punchy Emmental though. Like if you have it by itself, it's it's way more developed than, than your bog standard Emond tile I'd say, but the Swiss and not famous, Swiss are famous for Cheese just because it's got holes in it. Not because it tastes great. So I think they've done their best by shoving it, in this fellow's cave.

Dan: Reach. Do you learn a lot from the cheese, a review here? Because I do. I'm not a massive cheese person that knows as much as these people. You mean side MP, your cheese people, you, you you were like

Pete: a massive cheese.


When you

Dan: Made of cheese. You, you know, your cheese

Sidey: really

Pete: I just, I like cheese and I like pushing my cheesy boundaries.

Dan: like, okay. You know, cheese though side.

Sidey: Not really

Pete: You you've made cheese.

Have we ever spoken about, this?

Sidey: but yeah, I've been on a cheesemaking course and I've made cheese,

Reegs: I've tasted your cheese.

Sidey: Hey, I need to guys do some more of that.

It's just, it's quite labor intensive. And then a long waiting around for cheese. we had, we did have a spider milk arranged, but we never got around to making it properly

Dan: do you need?

Sidey: when you quite a lot, which depends on what you want. Wanna make it really

Dan: Just a little bit for the mango.

Sidey: if you want to make it commercially.

And he'd like, if you don't and you don't need that

Dan: Your artist in, you know?

Sidey: is anal. Yeah.

Dan: You do as a bit for the man-cave we'll review it,

Sidey: All right. Yeah.

That's good

Pete: Aging cheese in your cave.

Sidey: I was thinking if we made cheese commercially, you'd have to try and then like go out into the north coast, summer and stash a load in a cave just as a unique selling point.

But just never go around doing it. So I don't know.

Some connoisseur. I just know that I like blues. Don't be like the hard heart Jesus so much. I'm not so keen on the truffle induced ones. But I couldn't tell you confused. I couldn't tell you like this region, blah, blah. All that. I just know. I like to eat,

Pete: I think, from this prescription prescription subscription it's, it's definitely opened my eyes to the world of softer cheeses that I didn't know much about.

And there's been every week, there's been a real winner for me.

Sidey: We used to have like a rogue cheese at the football club. Christmas party. when Turkey was in charge, there was an, and Craig, he always used to bring up the stinking, Bishop,

Dan: a breakaway table didn't we? And we wouldn't let any, we wouldn't let anyone come on. It was just cheese and the finest wines that we could possibly get together.

Pete: Like it

Sidey: Right. Keeping up with a theme of floppy movies. This is the one that inspired it, I think.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: it was mortal engines. Did you know anything about it other than

Reegs: Nothing at all. No. I was doing a little bit of reading about box office flops. And this movie popped up and I just couldn't remember anything


Dan: your internet browsing take you to flops?

Reegs: I saw it, it was produced and written by Peter Jackson.

Dan: That's it?

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: That's how I say it.

Reegs: Peter Jackson and the brain trust behind Lord of the rings, Fran Walsh and Philippa Boykins.

And I saw it's

Dan: were also Lord of the rings people. Okay. What did they do there with this same kind

Reegs: the writing, they were part of the writing

Dan: okay, so this had a,

Reegs: Yeah, absolutely. And I saw the steam punk aesthetic and I thought, okay, let's nominate that. So anyway, this is, this is more Glen gins.

It's based on a young adult. Is that what it's called young

Sidey: me to call it

Reegs: a sci-fi novel by a British author called Phillip reef. Yeah. Should we just go straight into the plot,

Sidey: but it opens with a kind of car chase. Ready?

Reegs: You get an aeration first about the 60, 60 minute war.

Sidey: Oh, an exposition.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah.

They tell us about this sort of grinding metallic voice tells us about the 60 minute war in which the age in one's destroyed the world around them.

And then that everybody that remained went on to form giant mobile cities called traction cities,

Dan: And

to be fair, we are the ancient ones aren't

Reegs: Yes

Sidey: especially.

Reegs: So I think, you know, yeah. Do you remember this a thousand years ago? I think probably 40 seconds into the movie. You probably know whether you're in or out when it says humanity went to live on giant steam punk. Cause if you think, well, that's just shit and I don't want to like it, then you're out on you. And if you think, okay, that's inventive. I haven't seen that before. I'll go with the ludicrousness of it, just to see where it goes.

Pete: At that point I was this is set in, I'm going to say 31 the 31 hundreds then.

Cause they

Sidey: don't tell you exactly. But it's

Pete: they refer back a thousand years ago to 21, something or other. So but when with all of that, I was willing to give it a chance at that point.

Reegs: Yeah.

So we open with this, they do the classic thing that they do in like a horror movie, like yours or not yours, especially, but where they show like this gargantuan rolling city, basically town on, on these huge wheels and then it zooms out and you see that there's an even bigger one.

That's just dwarfs this other city and it's actually London crazily enough. And it's adorned with some Paul's cathedral

Sidey: Yeah. So everything, everything in the war was destroyed apart from all the famous landmarks that you need to know to

Pete: Well, they've, they've rebuilt those, and Chuck them on these mobile cities and so on. I think that the very first part you see is it the girl or somebody walking through the, the, the town, which is static And then the alarms go off and, and it, it almost converts, bits, just sort of swinging all the, like the little market stalls collapse, and then it, it becomes mobile and starts rumbling off. And then you realize why, because there's a great big fuck off city coming for it.

Reegs: Yeah. Because they're predator cities and they have a philosophy that they named municipal Darwinism and basically cities eat up these other cities for resources and consume them.

Pete: And they seem to be quite early on. They seem to be, or they're looking for old tech

that can

help because it, like, you're assuming like electricity. As we know, it is not sort of commonplace. There's no sort of cables or pylons and stuff. And So it's, it's, they, they, they generate their power themselves. And, and I guess like old tech would kind of have. put that together or certainly help assist with that.

Cause they're main things, for power energy to find food and so on. So just to survive really?

Reegs: Yeah. So you've got London trundling across what's left of continental Europe swallowing up small in this case German town that's literally born inside London and destroyed. We get introduced to London's head of the Guild of historians and history is a big thing in, in the movie.

There's a lot of the action takes place around the historical stuff and it's Thaddeus Valentine, Hugo weaving there's a fun scene set in the London museum of old tech where there's the minions and the smart little thing where they they have displays of the iron age, the bronze age, and then they have a display called the age of the screen and it's got smartphones and iPads and stuff in it.

And then we're introduced to Tom that's where the played by Robert Sheehan from umbrella academy. Did you watch that? Yeah. And he was good in it. And he meets with Hugo weaving's daughter, Catherine and then they bring that town in it's ingested and the people are being sort of processed into London

Dan: And we're just a few minutes into the film here already, but you, you start to gauge the the, the sense of Peter Jackson's influence, for example, and and just the, the size of

Pete: the

Dan: the scale of this film, that the budget that has, because it, it doesn't look cheap. You know, you can see that it's been well shot and there's,

Reegs: it really has a design that looks quite unlike anything you've ever really seen before. The closest thing I could think that it made me think of was there's a computer game Bioshock, infinite, which I don't imagine anybody has played here, but the the design of that was quite kind of similar with that sort of 19th century Victorian classic steam punk look, but also.

It was always like Terry Gilliam type feel to

Sidey: Yeah. How has moving castle?

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Dan: that's kind of the closest thing that I could recall

Sidey: seeing

Dan: to this. It was but this is like a live version of it then. And and then we have these people being processed through and you, you start to meet some some of the characters and start to get a sense of who are the goodies in the baddies in

Pete: this,

You've already seen a mysterious sort of masked girl,

who was in this original vintage town, whatever, the one that's been swallowed up by

Dan: Oh that's right there. The camera kind of follows her,

Pete: Yeah. Yeah.

Cause she's the poster girl effectively of the, of the film she's on the front cover or whatever it is. And yeah. So

Dan: I didn't know a lot of these actors in this, to be honest, it wasn't a hugely alias cast, but they all, they,

Reegs: and Patrick Malahide and a few of the others.

Dan: yeah. Some, some big names and things, but there was no Marquis kind of person in this. They'd gone for putting the budget, I guess, into the, the production of, of everything, but the acting, I don't think we felt that it was good acting.

Reegs: so they're down during the processing of the, all the new entrance and Hugo weaving goes down to supervise it himself personally. And we see Hester, Hester, Shaw, certain it has to show which was the girl you were talking about earlier. What was her name?

Hell Hera, Hilmar. She was an Icelandic actress had never seen, but she pulled, she, she sort of going through the crowd and then a little knife comes out in her sleeve and you can see what's going to happen here. And she gets to 30 S and she pulls down her scarf. She looks kind of like a sort of anarchist type thing with a scarf over a fish, pulls it down.

It's got a very distinctive facial scar. Which I think is the first time we'd seen it. Isn't it in the movie. Yeah. And she says something like this is for my mother and stamps him. And she does get good.

Dan: She gets good Jabin.

And the score at this stage, I think looks worse than it does later on in the film.

I don't know if they soften it a little bit because she, she sadly she becomes a different character later on, but at this day she's yeah, looks really mean. And I thought he was done for, to be honest.

Reegs: Yes I did. I there's then a big chase through the old town as it's being sliced and diced for its resources, a very typical sort of Peter Jackson type, you know, where they're dodging through. There was tons of that shit in the Lord of the rings dodging through enormous whatevers, smashing around stuff.

And then they end up sort of over a waste shoot, Tom and Hester Shaw. And she's a kind of, she goes to jump and he stops her.

Dan: Yeah. So it's the, the thin railing Guarding them against death. And she's over the side of the railing.

I think she, she jumps rather than is, is forced over. In fact, he, he tries to save her and he does, he catches her hand and can pull it back up. But she just saying, no, she knows the crack. Ask him about my mother. He murdered my mother and then pushes herself off,

Reegs: And she falls down.


Dan: down. This kind of dumps you into which a huge, I mean, you think when you saw earlier the you were going to say it's bigger than that. You were so tempted. Yeah.

Reegs: It looks like a bit gayness, doesn't

Dan: it does. And it's shitting out rocks and

Reegs: and people.

 Valentine turns up

Pete: he doesn't eat

Reegs: And he sees Tom there and Tom starts to ask him questions that make him uncomfortable. And so Valentine just fucking pushes him down the shoe.

Dan: Yeah.

And he's in command Valentine, he's the one that shouldn't be doing this. His daughter then turns up soon after and he fakes it saying, oh, Tom, couldn't be saved. I was too late and paints himself out to be the good guy, but there is somebody watching.

Pete: Yeah.

there is. Yeah. This is the Irish fellow.

Isn't it?

Reegs: Ronan Rafferty,

Pete: I think bef before this, you've already seen that there's within the city of London. There's there's a bit of a conflict or maybe a power struggle between Hugo weaving's character and Baylon gray joy as what I'm going to call him. I don't, I can't remember the actor's name or the guy, the character's name, but

Reegs: Patrick Malahide

Pete: yeah, so he's,

Reegs: Chrome in

Pete: so he he's He's the, the, the, the head honcho, but he's, it's already alluded to that. He's kind of like he harks back to an older time and is set in his ways. And you know, Hugo weaving's character is, has got much newer and bigger ideas for everything. And you see that there's already a little bit of friction between them.

Reegs: Yeah, for sure. Also weaving who we now know is a bit of an asshole.

He then goes to meet his top. Scientists are sort of Dr. Strange love ESC women called Dr. Twix, who is developing a weapon called Medusa

for him

Dan: of mass destruction

Reegs: outside Hester and Tom of forming a sort of fragile bond based on the fact that they're fucked and in the middle of nowhere, it's a great scene when they're set in like the tire tracks of one of those rolling cities,

Dan: Are like the height of three people.

Pete: And it becomes fairly evident that out in the open without the sort of like the sanctuary of any of these mobile villages and towns and cities and stuff is not the place that you want to be. You're basically, you know,

Dan: you're not safe if you're not in one of those,

Pete: It's alluded to that. There are all types of different characters and people that are out there in their various mechanical vehicles and they are out to kill you, Rob you you know best kind of kidnap here.

Reegs: And they are picked up by a couple of a couple who sort of seemed nice at

Pete: strange, strange

Dan: but they're kind of bounty hunters, aren't they?

Or they, they sell slaves

Pete: it's Yeah. That's, that's reveal. there's a bit where the the main guy Tom gets given a cup of tea and he goes really Cockney just for like five seconds.

Cause he's, even though he just speaks with a normal sort of English at as is typical in like non British films, all English, people

go, hello, we

all speak like this and it's all very jolly good. And he just goes like, a nice cup of cup of


Yeah. Yeah. Rosie Lee.

Reegs: Yeah. But it's made out of sewage algae,

Pete: Yeah,

it is. Yeah. Which I don't fancy, but he said, it, he said it tasted all right.

Reegs: Then Thaddeus Valentine is somehow alerted about an offshore prison that is men have got and something that is screaming has to Shaw's name over and over which is where we're sort of first introduced to a fully CGI character in the movie called Shrike, a resurrected man. The last of the Lazarus.

Pete: Hmm

Dan: terminate you.

So we've gone from Lord of the rings now where, and there's a bit of star wars and we're also kind of going into the terminate. And now this film is filled with influences. Isn't it all the way through.

Reegs: Yes, absolutely. Huge.

Dan: I wonder how you think it would have been received if it had been the first of those kinds of films.

Pete: That's a challenging


at this point. I mean, I think it, I don't think it should be forgotten that the, whilst there are themes from other films, the actual concepts in this film, up to this

Dan: fairly unique. Yeah.

Pete: is

Very unique.

Dan: It's just, just those, those kinds of visual looks,

Reegs: it does where it's visual influences on its sleeves. You can see a lot of all those movies that you talked about.

And I

can't believe, I didn't think about house moving girl cause I, because it's so obvious really

Pete: you know,

there's other

Dan: for me to get away from it. You know, I'm watching

Pete: What was the star wars?

Dan: at the

Pete: What was this? You've never even fucking watched star wars. and you don't like it. You're not, you're

Dan: I love star wars.

Pete: to comment on star

Dan: It was like, he walks and

Pete: There was no E-box

Dan: No, it wasn't but there was trees and

Sidey: The Joe is moving transport thing where they get our two in C3 pair. It was like one of those

Reegs: there's a feet. Well, her father turned out to be, I mean, you know, in a big plot twist that I've just spoiled. So you know, that star wars either the, the fight at the end, the big thing, but,

Dan: Right.

It isn't

following star wars or Lord of the rings in the sense of plot, but just in the visuals of it all. And the thing that obviously is new in this is the big moving cities goatee. Yeah.

Reegs: anyway. So we've had, so we, we get Shrike this half Terminator, half zombie creature who has some kind of history with Hester and Valentine frees him because he's gone mad, she's broken a promise to him,

which we don't know what

Dan: he hasn't found her body yet as she dropped out the giant mechanical arsehole and they'd been scaring.

He needs her dead. He knows she won't quit. That she'll be back at some point. So he releases the beast and this, he was in a M in this like iron cage hanging over the sea and he was denting it with his anger, just like grunting, her name one in a bed that much

Reegs: HESTA and Tom brought to an auction by those people that adopted them with the sewage Ogee before. And they're going to be sold off as slaves before a woman steps in from the matrix called Anna Fang. This south Korean actress, I think G hi, is it, is, is it south green? Is she was pretty cool. She says, she'll take HESTA. Then there's a bit of a kickoff with the auctioneer and it gets fairly brutal. She finds a

Pete: shoots his head straight off.

Reegs: Yeah.

There's no blood because this is a PG 13 movie, but it's some deniable what's going on. Yeah. Then Shrike turns up and starts to beat the shit out of them.

Pretty viciously. He tries to catch up. He tries to climb up a rope. Doesn't need, Tom cuts him, lets him go, you know, can't seem loose. And they flew off to their destination. Now we talk about their mother Pandora.

Dan: Yeah. She's we find out the, the possible father of this our heroin and that kind of confuses the matter, because there's some big argument, both archeologists, mom and dad when she was a kid and there was a box that one of them found

Reegs: Pandora and a box

Dan: for Yeah. So, so yeah, it, it got very clever then didn't it, because he stabbed her to get, to take the box and

Reegs: he being sad. He is

Dan: he be in Thaddeus Valentine and that was the goal that made everything possible and his weapon of mass destruction.

So this was a plan he'd set in motion years and years. And it's all coming to a head now, isn't

Reegs: it.

Pete: And

You see, this is where you see how it has to got a scar, which is, he's sort of lashed out with his knife and caught her across the face and scarred her. At that, at that point,

Reegs: brutal stuff. Really?

Pete: Yeah. Cause she's only young

And Yeah. And there's also then the the sort of backstory about, you know, how, how sort of her and Shrike came to know each other. He effectively found her, like after she escaped the the burning house where her mother had been killed he found her in a swamp and took her back to where he kind of hangs out with a fairly bleak place where he seems to just sort of put together


Reegs: fix broken things. And he has flashes of memories of his old life when he was because they are like resurrected soldiers.

Pete: Yeah. And and he, he senses the, the hurt and the pain within her and all the bad memories. Cause she's obviously been affected by this, this, all this stuff that's that's happened to her. And the promise that was made effectively is that she promised that she would let him kill her and then resurrect her as sort of a, and take away those bad memories and all that pain so that she could live a. a happy existence as a hideous Frankenstein monster.

Reegs: Yeah. Which course she thinks is a great idea.


Pete: and jumps on board with it.

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: But she, sh I guess she doesn't know anything else. There's no, light. she just thinks everything's hideous and horrible. And and he is the only sort of guardian and sort of happy kind of fit.

Cause It, it does show flashbacks of her happily, like juggling dolls, heads, and things like

Sidey: that.

Dan: She, she loves him because he's, he's looked off to her and kept her alive without him.


Reegs: For me, that stuff where it's like, baby, Dole heads and limbs and stuff. That for me is more terrifying than anything I've ever seen. Like in any of the horror movies and stuff. We once went to a French market and I walked down like a particular road and it was like, everyone was just selling dismembered parts of dolls, like heads and limbs.

And yeah. And I still dream about that, you know?

Yeah, yeah,

Sidey: That's creepy.

Dan: Yeah.


Well, there was plenty of that in this.

Reegs: Yeah. Some smarmy sycophantic piece of shit who's been in and out of the movie called Herbert called gets in touch with Valentine and tells him that he's found some old tech and then Anna and all of the rest of the crew Tom Hester and all that end up in this enormous hot air balloon city thing called air Haven where they meet the partners in the anti traction league, which is a cool name for a band.

Pete: We're in air Haven and it's revealed that Shrike has, well, he he's, he's looked over at a hot air balloon as they've escaped. So he's managed to yeah. it's a tail them. And he, fucking wreaks havoc on this on this air city or the city up in the cloud, best spin. I guess another, another star was referenced.

I, I I apologize and retract my previous statement, Daniel. He is just after hasta and effectively wants to kill her for what he thinks is a, is a good reason. But they managed to sort of there's enough of these these guys that have attacked him to sort of do some fairly big damage to him. And even though he manages to take down the entire sort of air SETI there's before it finally, plummets there's the bit where Tom gets injured on the, on the bridge that goes out to this the ship that they're trying to escape on Hester and Shrike have their sort of, sort of confrontation.

And, I think Shrike sees that she's fallen for him cause she's very protective of him. And I think that's what ultimately convinces him to, to sort of give up on this idea of to take all her pain away I'll kill her and Reonomy

And decides that that's not the best thing. And he knows that he's a, he's a gunner anyway, because of the, the wounds that have been inflicted on him and sort of releases her from her promise and passes on and has this Prairie torn up by that.

But then obviously there it was a bigger problem. And, and, the, and this, this asset is gonna, is going to crash off of the balloons that keep it afloat are on fire. So they managed


escape in the ship called the Jenny.

Reegs: Is that what it was called?

Pete: Jenny.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd never really

picked up why, but that's what the ship was called.

The Jenny Hanover.

Dan: that, that scene on the on the bridge when shriekers just slammed Tom down Shrek, what's his name? Shriek, Shrike, Shrike.

And he's he's got his, his foot's been severed and it's just like a sharp point now. And it sat on his chest and he's only needs to put it down to kill him. And she pleads with

Pete: him. for his life.

Dan: and that is the turning point, because up until this point,

This is a psychotic killing machine heading her way and will not stop at anything the way that he found her so quickly and kept on finding it was just Terminator.

And then he sees that she's in love and this sparked some kind of emotion in him and he dies straight away.

Pete: Well, He was, he

Dan: dies of a broken heart

Pete: What's her name?

Anna Tang

Fang had had stabbed him right in the, whatever it is that keeps him going with a spiky shoe. And that was, you could see he was malfunctioning. I think he was,

Dan: Oh, you made it though. I think it, no, I don't think he was, I think it was a broken heart and they, they talked earlier about him not having a heart, but

Reegs: Yeah. Well, there was proper sort of 10 man slash other shit going

Dan: loads going on. Yeah. And it was, it was one of those seeds cards on the table. I relatively enjoyed this. I didn't find it hard work to watch.

It was it's not one of those films that I would go to watch over and over again or anything, but I enjoyed it for the first time I watched it and I liked the idea is that this big kind of steam. It's city island thing going through it was different. It was so many influences. Which is why I was interested before is how did you think it had been taken originally?

Like, but it was yeah, at this point, anything can kind of happen, you know, is what is probably going to

Reegs: well, what is going to

Dan: how it's going to happen.

Reegs: shoots you mate, from game of Thrones and then talks about his plan to take the rolling city of London, to what was formerly China, where there is this enormous shield wall that separates the static cities from the roaming ones. And he's got this huge energy weapon that's deployed from the top of some Paul's cathedral

Dan: Is that an original?

Pete: So this is now the, ISR on,

Reegs: Meanwhile, behind the shield wall, the Dalai Lama orders is air ships to have a preemptive strike on them. Which is, which is fun.

Pete: which doesn't really go well, it's also, it's been revealed that there is parts. So there, there is, there's a kill switch that is out there somewhere that can shut down this, this Medusa system, this weapon. And yeah, that is, so you see rather symbolically Shrike before he, he he, he passes on he hands a, a a necklace with, a, with an eye on it to Hester and said look, this was your


Dan: is comically comically opens to have a USB stick in

Reegs: it

Pete: it


Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: yeah.

Pete: yeah. Has a USB stick in, And that, is revealed that that is the the kill switch. for, So at the

So yeah, at this wall they launched the strike, the, the Medusa weapon fires, and just immediately takes out their entire air fleet and a big chunk of the wall,

Reegs: It's pretty impressive that quantum bomb thing, it, like, I don't know, it sort of explodes backwards in time.

It's kind of weird to explain.

Pete: Yeah, sort of

yeah. There's

Dan: in this is kind of got a black hole thing going on,

Reegs: and it does an impressive amount of damage. There's. I mean, it's oddly bloodless considering that literally thousands and thousands of people die in this movie.

And some like in glorious closeup

Dan: I'm thinking you said earlier, PG 13. And I guess it's you know, right along those lines of teenager who you don't want to freak out with blood and guts and everything, but you want to give them that excitement of knowing big explosions have gone on and the shooting was probably the most brutal part of it, the the

Reegs: it's no worse than Lord of the rings where like, you know,

Dan: right.

Reegs: of MOOCs are just blasted to oblivion by huge freaks. So they do use the kill switch to shut down some Paul's cathedral, which is a great line to say,

Sidey: I mean,

Pete: they've they've, they've now like Anna and her cronies in their remaining air ships, conveniently didn't park up at the with all the rest of the ships on the top of the wall.

They parked them in some like back streets, so they can still use those. They get closer and infiltrate the the, you know, London various kind of levels has Anna goes off to confront Valentine. Has to goes into the gets right into the mix with the kill switch. Cause she's the one that's going to shut it.

down. And Tom is, is become the pilot. Now, of, of this, this ship, the Jenny all of Anna's cronies get shot out the sky and die sort of gloriously kamikaze style taking out the guns and stuff and Anna herself is she's she's prepared to, die. So she takes a, a good stabbing of of Valentine before,

But knowing that, that that she's she's been the distraction to allow Hester into the to the main bet where she shuts down the system and the yeah, the, the Medusa thing is, is shot is, is, is killed then there's, a, there's the, the sort of the final battle scene Valentine wants to escape in one of his sort of, a ship things and that that's tethered.

There's a

There's the reveal of the, I R mule father.

At the same time.

Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that was and then at the same time, Tom has gone again, star wars. So sorry, Dan is flown right into the heart of this and fired a shot into the London's engine to shut that down. Conveniently Valentine ship crashes, right in front of the big tracks, the that rather poignantly for me, bearing in mind, it's not 2018 seemed to crush his is a.


Although, not fully

there wasn't like it

wasn't like it, it seems to roll onto the, onto the air ship and you assume he's dad And I was waiting for

Reegs: Hollywood screen writing. Isn't it? If you don't see him die.

Pete: Exactly. Right. There was no, you didn't see him die.

Dan: Probably leaving

room for more there

Reegs: which will never get made.

Sidey: No, not with the numbers on this one.

Dan: no. It was one of those films. You think, well, red dwarf did this pretty cheap, you know

Pete: Yeah. Especially they did, they literally did it with like washing up


fairy, liquid bottles and stuff at the beginning. So I don't know,

Dan: it's a kind of film that I think if you had a phone 10 million quid at, you have said what a great film, you know, but how much did this cost?

Sidey: Well, I'm not sure of the actual total budget because also you've got to factor in or the the marketing costs and

Pete: got here a hundred

to $150


Sidey: to make. When it lost,

Dan: don't want people to know, I

Sidey: it lost approximately 175 million

Dan: even more

Reegs: than

Dan: it costs to make

Reegs: the worst of all time. Then

Sidey: It depends on some of the lists of others, but

Pete: inflation

Sidey: adjusted for inflation it's it I've seen it at top of the list before. Yeah.

Dan: just goes to show, you know, you bring in the dream team there and I guess that's where all the confidence in putting that kind of money goes to because you've got Peter Jackson and, and, you know sure. File when, and sometimes it just, and I didn't think this was a terrible film.

You did. Yeah. You, you didn't like it. I didn't, I didn't

Pete: I've sensed from your body language all evening that that this was not a hit,

with the side.

Dan: it was a long film. I've watched it over.

Pete: hours,

Sidey: Yeah, 2 million hours. And so devoid of any like charisma or anything and

Reegs: yeah, the leads are not great. I do like Robbie shin,

Pete: Right.

Sidey: the had some external shots of the rolling cities and it looked great. And then when you got into the internal stuff, for me, it just looked like a fucking soundstage looked really bogus.

It didn't really didn't like it. I didn't like how off that was compared to how good some external stuff was.


Pete: smacked a little bit of wild, wild west in, in salt internally not externally. I think I actually wanted more of the city, like the, the, the, the cities as engines in chases. And I thought those opening scenes, that opening chasing that were really fucking cool, And there wasn't as much of that as I thought that there would be in the film.

And I don't think the name helps it. It's all like multiple engines sounds pretty crap.

Reegs: It is a hard one. I know you were being named missed earlier and it was annoying me a bit, but

this one

Pete: how I feel. And that, and this was one that, because it's, it's in the, it's in the ballpark of the sort of thing that I would want to, I would, if it was maybe called something else, or if I'd seen a known more about it, I definitely would have watched it, but the name, and then I did hear that it just got fucking like tanked at the box office and it got panned like critically, I'm also.

Going to pick up on the, I thought that the lead, the Tom guy, I thought it was fucking terrible.

Reegs: was

Sidey: act

Pete: like


Reegs: it's just a bit of a subversion. Is it? Cause he's the sort of feminine Iwan and she's more fierce and masculine

Pete: But he's just, he's

just really like whiny and pathetic. And he reminds me like the first I've never like spoken about this, but in the first couple of like Harry Potter films, like Ron wheezy, all he does is go look

look whines about everything.

And that's all this guy was doing. I thought was Shit acting. I've never seen him in anything else before And I just so as a lead, was, was reddish. I thought she was really good. thought. she was like,

Sidey: I felt the casting and this was weird because there was no star apart from Hugo weaving really who play like downplayed the role that the villain wise there was so weak.

W well, for me anyway,

Reegs: Valentine is pretty shit, but I, I liked Shrike. I, his sort of 10 man Pinocchio journey

thing. was good.

and he's an inventive, scary villain. So he was the better villain for me in this than, than Valentine.

But you set up that epic. I D I mean, the scale of where you've got that enormous wall and that trundling city and the fight scene, that's going on with the air ships, you know, I just really liked all


stuff. And then there was just one thing, sorry, it's just the it was the, the S the Brexit stuff. Did you get on that? Because the Lord mayor even said, we should never have gone into Europe. It's the biggest mistake we ever made and all this stuff that's going on. And then the town of London literally ingesting all the other stuff. You know, I loved all that. Even though it's like clunky and stupid,

Pete: sorry. I

Dan: for me, this film was about timing.

Like I watched this last night, I was, I wasn't in the mood to, to concentrate on a, on a film that was needing a lot of brainpower. And this doesn't, isn't easy to watch film. It's got loads going on. It's stuff you've seen. It's easy to watch in the fact that you pick up those references or that's from that there's, you know, game of Thrones, that star wars that's Lord of the rings, and it had all these kinds of different influences.

It had just about enough plot, line and story to keep me interested for the time I take your point. I watched it actually, I took a break for about half an hour. I went and did some stuff and I came back and watched the other part of it because it is a long film. And

there was enough pace about it to keep me interested.

There was plenty I could pick holes in it, but I was in the mood for it. So it's one of those. If you're not looking for someone to tax in his worst choices,

Pete: as the last one to reveal my feelings on the film, not withstanding everything that I just said before, and I stand by the Tom guy is fucking awful.

I've really liked this.

I've enjoyed watching it. I've watched 40 minutes what, like the first night and then had to turn it off and like go to sleep or whatever. And I was really looking forward to getting back into it. There were definitely, like you said, that there were, there were, there were things that sort of like were fairly kind of glaring in like how it could have been done better.

I didn't mind, I didn't mind the story and, and like the, the nods to all the other things, because when with sort of you know, fantasy and sci-fi how many more completely new, totally fresh ideas can you come up with? And the, concept of the cities, the mobile cities was new and interesting and really well done. I think I liked a lot of the performances.

It got really fucking cliched, like towards the end. And, but I enjoyed it and I'm a bit, if if it had been, it's a, had to been a secret. then I would watch it.

So I did, I did enjoy it. Not, you know, it's not going in a top 10 or or anything anytime soon, but I did enjoy it, but whatever else, I need to see somebody else with that actor, in, because I thought he was fucking terrible way off the mark of what you would expect in something of that budget, that size with other really good performances

Dan: children about the guy that was the lead in this,

Pete: the British presume.

He's British Tom.

Dan: Do we know? Is Robert Sharon? It's funny. She'd say, cause my mentioned this week is going to feature in.

Pete: Okay.

Sidey: Wow. There you go. Boom. For me, Brighton rock is now not even in the top three worst films, no

Pete: cats,

Reegs: Wait, is this a number one?

Sidey: no slamming Sammons

Pete: Oh fuck. Slevin

Sidey: cats, then this just didn't work for me. I just thought it was a stinker and it was long and I, that it was just a chore to get through it and I had to watch it for this, but I didn't enjoy one second a bit.

Well, I enjoyed some of the visuals in it. I was quite good, but then jarring at some of the other shitty stuff. There was no characters worth mentioning in it. It was so fucking dreary. A good idea, fucking really poorly executed for me. It just didn't work, but I'm obviously in the minority, but for me it was a, it was a mess.

Reegs: Well maybe you've seen enough movies in your life where St. Paul's cathedral splits to reveal an energy weapon which can be fired the top of colossal motorized London by a bowler hatted. Beefeater into a gargantuan wall protected only by the Dalai Lama and his army of flying machines. But I haven't.

So I enjoyed it.

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: for the builder.

Dan: Can you fix it, Bob? The builder? Yes. Shui can scoop muck and dizzy Rowley too. When Dan love the joy, the crew Baba gang have so much fun working together to get that job done.

Bob, the builder

Pete: is it

Sidey: bullshit?

Dan: No, this was solid. This was a a solid favor of

Sidey: did you think of this episode

Dan: this one where there's a peacocky pie now. Yeah, it, they're all kind of classic British television for me now, Bob, the builder, I think it's a, it's fantastic.

Sidey: from 97. 2018. Yes.

Reegs: This specific episode

was one

of the early ones, the stop motion animation.

And it gets a bit more charm than the C it does. Doesn't it really then the CGI stuff. Like, you know, the little animation of water and stuff like that, or paste as it is in this one is quite, you know, cute. It was wallpaper. Wendy

was the episode that I picked.

Dan: classic

Sidey: Bob's diversifying from construction into decorating.

Pete: He's not an experienced decorator,

Sidey: which I think is bullshit because I think if you're on the tools, you would not do it.

Dan: Oh, I dunno. Some things

Reegs: is


Dan: just don't get,

Pete: irritating, but yet, but there's a lot of

Reegs: I've never done it.

And I never would.

Dan: You've never done wallpaper and never would.

Reegs: I never would know. I would absolutely royally fuck that up. I put shelves up in my daughter's room above her bed I can't sleep at night just thinking like, it should be all right.

It should be all right. But also like just doing any kind of DIY gets me into an unbelievable state of anxiety. I don't know what you lot, are you good with DIY or

is it

Dan: hate it. I am shitter it. I never want to do it

Reegs: and just cause you've got a cock, you've got to do it. It's just like what?

Dan: why I'm I'm the guy

Sidey: I don't mind the destructive side.

It's putting things back up and when we've done stuff around the house, I've always think, well, we'll paint because we can do that. That's what you should definitely get someone in to do, because that's what you'll see at the end of it. And all the shitty painting that we've done in the house, you're taking the action for clients around, like, it just fucking bugs me for years to get it done properly.

Pete: but You wouldn't trust, Bob the builder after having seen this episode,

Sidey: well, he's actually says that he, he built that flat

and I don't know who signed off on the work, but it's shy. The there's massive gaps with the coping around on the ceiling. I don't know if you saw that,

Pete: it wouldn't pass a building inspection

Sidey: it might do, but there'll be a big long snagging list.

Reegs: Yeah.

But he takes the job on for Mrs. Broadband, her granny flat needs decorating before her mum

Sidey: arrived.

Reegs: And Bob sort of offers to do it. And it's clear he's on the blog, isn't it? It's like cash in hand

Sidey: taxpayer not

Pete: he's not declaring any of

Sidey: that.

Reegs: Yeah. So he's just like, and then he sees Wendy he's been decorating Someone's kitchen,

maybe his kitchen, not sure.

And she's doing a great job and he borrows all her shit and goes off to go and do wallpapering, which again, I'll say it again. Never would do it. No. Cause it would just be terrible if you'd done it.

Pete: No I, I don't, I'm just my, my old man's a pretty nifty wallpaper hanger and has done it plenty. And he's my go-to guy for that I obviously have to engage with him, which is disappointing. but Other than that,


he he's solid.

Dan: I'm going to train the kids up. You know, they get in while they're young and they can go on each other's shoulders to get the high bits and everything

Reegs: ladders as well though.

They're helpful too for that vertical stuff.

Anyway, he really fucks it

  1. I

mean let's be honest. He does what I would do.


Pete: it's like, imagine if Norman wisdom was gonna wallpaper a room, that's what, what he would do. He's like treading on it. Like, so I, I, my, my test with, with a lot of these things, I, I said to the boys, right.

Let's Let's watch this Bob, the builder. They were like, yeah. Sound And watch it. And then they, we were watching it and I was like, trying to sort of say, oh, Bob's doing like that. And they were, they've never been less expressionless


they were through this. Like the, not.


like any kind of reaction to, to any of it.

I had to like put my hand over their mouth to make sure they were still like,

you know, but they, they, Yeah. The, the jokes, although like the, the visual light laughter comedy elements of it that you think like, it's not funny to me,

Sidey: maybe it was Neil Morrissey. They hired. Yeah,

Pete: but that's understandable.

I think he's quite, hateable, isn't he? but yeah.

Reegs: So he really fucks it up comedy and blah, blah, blah. Eventually Wendy fixes it all up for him and then he claims the job as his own

Dan: The money


Pete: fraud.

Reegs: And then there's sort of a hint sexual tension I

Sidey: thought between

Reegs: Wendy and Bob yeah, he looks about nine, I think. And you wouldn't, you wouldn't let a nine year old improve your house.

Pete: Yeah,

Reegs: You wouldn't.

Sidey: There was a rumor because they, all the characters have four fingers, four digits. I should say that when it was going to Japan, they were going to have to redo it or CGI and a fifth finger because they don't like programs to four fingers because the Yakuza take a finger.

Dan: Oh that's fair enough.

Pete: maybe That's how

Sidey: That's Bob's other sidelines.

Pete: shoddy


Sidey: getting all this work.

Pete: Tokyo. And

Reegs: That's going to be in the anime, sequel, Robert the builder. And he just goes on a fucking rampage.

Dan: wallpaper is a bit dodgy though.

Reegs: you


Pete: Oh yeah. If he's got his, he got a thumb, cause you just said four digits. Does he have, does he have three fingers? and a thumb or

Sidey: We wouldn't want to hold a paintbrush or

Pete: I'm thinking

So maybe like a dog wallpapering.

Reegs: Yeah, that would be ridiculous.

Pete: sorry. I wish I hadn't said it.

Reegs: So E D who's putting for lofty in here and you liked lofty didn't you? He's a cunt

Yeah Why

don't I

Pete: which one's left, which one's lofty,

Reegs: makes

things go up and

Dan: crane? I think

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: My boy had all the toys and I remember we've got a photo of him actually laid them all out in his Bob, the builder suit and everything chainsaw had the lot hat hammering

Pete: stuff

Dan: made

Sidey: 14.

Dan: No, it was 12. No, no. It was probably five, four. You know, that kind of age.

Pete: well, my,

my two boys are six and four respectively and

Dan: or five,

Pete: w they

did not like, it. and I sat and I said, do you want it when it finished? I said, do you want to watch another one? And they both turned around and said, no, And then I said, I

Sidey: go to bed

Pete: I said to JJ, what did you think about the builder?

And he just went bad,

like screwed

up his face and


it was bad. Wow. And I was kind of with, with them, and I've never, I've watched, I've seen it before, And none of my kids have ever been into it. I've done a, I've not seen lots of it. It's been on at times, but

Sidey: I'd never really watched it because 97, obviously it was far too late for us as youngsters and 2018, I suppose 2019 could have got some, but we didn't watch that much.

CBeebies with them to be honest. So yeah, I dodged it. It just seems to me like postman, pat, copying copy and paste into another job. But not as good as postman pat. I don't think I don't hate this. It was all right. It was fine. It was short, which is always a highlight.

Pete: 10 minutes.

Dan: Th this was it. It was, it was just a blast of some activity. And obviously there was lots of toys and things sold off the back of this. It

was a huge

Reegs: in America Done

Dan: Yeah,

Pete: It's bigger than that

Reegs: you know, to the point where Barack Obama ripped.

this slogan.


Sidey: Oh, yeah.

Reegs: yeah. This episode I picked in particular because there was controversy over. Did you guys see this? You must have seen this.

Dan: Remind me

Reegs: over allegations that he swore he he was alleged to have called Mrs.

Broadband Fishkin. No, I seen that. No, no, that's not true. But he was alleged to have mumbled something like fucking hell under his breath.

And it was

Pete: it more, a more real, like decorating.

Reegs: Yeah, exactly. They said it was a rubbish they'd misheard, so there was no bad language. But they did retract it and revoice it.

So I don't know if it's out there.


Carolyn, a shop assistant said one of the twins came Romney running in saying, mum, Bob swearing. I played it back. I couldn't believe it. He does it twice. I was absolutely horrified.

Sidey: intriguing.

Reegs: So

wow. Controversy.

Dan: Bob. Nope, never. Never heard that in this episode. But I'm a Bob, the builder fan, I think always

Pete: not for me,

Sidey: not for me, but it's all right. It's fine. It's harmless and yeah, kids may or may not like it.

Dan: Corella is going to be the midweek movie mentioned and we've got that fantastic giveaway. So

Reegs: listening

to that episode.

Dan: That's how next week perfume is going to be the main movie and that features the title character, Tom, from, from the film that we will enjoy so much this

Sidey: way,

Reegs: the character is in this movie

Dan: Oh no, no, your

Pete: hope not.

Dan: No, it's just the actor.

Sidey: you're telling us to go into this cold. Don't

Dan: Yeah I think just go into this, if you haven't seen it before. I've only seen it once.

Reegs: God Just

Sidey: imagination

Dan: yeah, I think so. You know me so give that a go. No, I think it's pretty cool.

Then we're going to go for doc McStuffin as the, the kids TV.

Reegs: we already done.

Dan: Have we done don't

Sidey: No, we haven't. We did we did sheriff Cali, which is

Dan: shift Kelly.

Right. So we're going to dump me stuff in my daughter recommended that and a top five films with a French connection.

Pete: your

Reegs: yeah I'm looking forward to hearing you. Cause it's lovely when you speak French. I had to, I do like

Pete: Yeah. Well unfortunately I won't be here next week.

cause I would have

Reegs: yeah. Baby

Pete: welcomed another offspring into the world.

And say, yeah, I won't

be able to

Dan: Yeah.

Pete: crack

Reegs: Well, you'll just have to leave me some voicemails and stuff.

Pete: Yeah.

Sidey: you're listening to this. It's a Friday. Probably hopefully, so tune in again on Wednesday because that will, you would anyway, but that will be our Cruella episode. So you need to listen carefully to that one, pay close attention because there's a lot of steak.

So lots to look forward to in the next few weeks. All it remains is to say society signing out

Pete: as well.