Midweek Mention... Escape to Victory

Escape to Victory

Dan: It's been so long since I've seen this documentary and just to dip back into what is our historical past to, to see how these brave soldiers of Europe had fought for us in the war,

Sidey: The Allies.

Dan: the Allies

Sidey: Yeah, it's

Dan: it's quite exciting.

Sidey: Escape to victory

1. K. A. just

Victory.

I found out when.

trying

to find

Pete: apparently they're doing a remake at some point. Do you want to make some more

Dan: I'm just squeaking a thing into

Reegs: it, he's doing that. Chris hasn't even got his earphones on. What a fucking shambles.

Cris: no, I can only hear, I can only hear with one ear. And I can't, now I can hear myself. But only one ear works, so it's

fine.

Dan: it makes it look like

Sidey: like you're

Reegs: Yeah, Live

Aid. Yeah.

Cris: Yes.

Pete: Well tonight. Thank God. It's the,

Reegs: They were all having a fight over who got to sing that line, weren't they? In the re do.

Pete: Was it that prick from you too, wasn't it?

Reegs: I think

Justin Hawkins from The Darkness did it.

Pete: Oh, in the

Reegs: In the remake,

yeah. but they were having a big fight. over who

Pete: have given it to Dizzy Rascal. Yeah. Yeah.

Cris: Should have given it to Steven Hawkins.

We've

Pete: off

Dan: talking of Dizzy Rascal it was a bit dizzy and it was a bit rascal ish of them right in the middle of this film, or the beginning.

Because they sneak out in the dark, and some guy gets shot.

Sidey: He does. He's he's doing a bear crawl.

Dan: Bear, bear growls, yeah.

Sidey: trying to dodge The spotlights and also the guards with machine guns

Dan: and it

Sidey: He gets to a fence and he has some wire cutters Which he can just Cut a little hole, and get under, but he forgets about all the fucking, like, rolls of razor

Dan: like, rolls

Sidey: he's spotted and Like, gunned down. So, we know it's, the stakes are high.

Dan: They don't say step away, they, they gun down first, and ask questions second. But anybody who knows that order, knows you're not gonna get many

Sidey: anyone who tries to escape and is captured, is going to be

up against

Pete: What it also does though, is it kind of then as you move into the next scene and it's the, you know, the prisoner of war camp and they're discussing that.

And there's some, obviously, like, higher ranking, like, you know, British Army

Dan: Officers.

Pete: And they're basically, like, demanding an explanation as to what

Sidey: It's

the nicest

Prisoner of War camp.

Pete: almost like there's the world Yeah! Like, the level of etiquette and everything. And the Germans are basically going, Oh, look, sorry, it was a bit of a mistake, one of your guys escaped and we accidentally shot him, but it won't happen again.

They're really, like, almost apologetic about it. I'm sure conditions are exactly like that. the

Sidey: that.

Yeah. these are the nicest Nazis. The nicest. like prisoner of war

Pete: I've long

suspected that not all Nazis were, were horrible. That some of them must have just been like standup

Dan: Nazis were horrible. Some of them must have just been like stand up guys.

What's his name? The

Sidey: Well he's just done an exorcism and now he's coming in

Dan: He's, he's come back from an exorcism. He's, he's come to do this. So he's like a major

Pete: a major in this. Yeah,

So

Dan: So he's there and he's going to be the, the germs of this idea created

Sidey: Well, when we see the place,

there's some nice drone footage of

them

all,

like, kicking

a footy round.

They're Getting a lot of exercise. It's really lovely.

Pete: And the, yeah, the major, the major is like really sort of polite and addresses them all, you know, it respectfully and, and people can just like bowl up to him, just like, you know, random prisoners can just kind of like bowl up to him and have a conversation with him like

that.

He

Dan: Rocky comes down. Do do do do do do do do do. So he's come down and just says, Hey, get my bottle back. And and he just looks at him and he kinda does a couple of keep ups whilst looking him firmly in the eye to say, I've got you, motherfucker.

And Michael Caine. Flicks it Caine.

Who's actually not Michael Caine, he's a solid West Ham player called Colby.

Pete: knew

Dan: West Ham and England. This must have just been pre World Cup when we won the World

Pete: So, that's one. Make a note of how many times he says that.

Straight away, they, they recognize each other as, like, former international players. Before, obviously, the war kicked off. I don't know who started it, but,

Reegs: Wait, Stallone was a

former

Pete: No, no, no, no, Michael Caine.

Captain Colby. Stallone is, is just inexplicably, like, a lone American,

Sidey: He's, he was american, but he was serving

in

the Canadian.

armed forces and

he's somehow been

captured

for the

plot

Pete: captured, but he's the only,

Sidey: and he's got he he's so there's basically a meeting a regular meeting

and I think one of

them is acknowledged by the Nazis to be the captain in charge

of escape.

Pete: escape. Yeah.

They

Sidey: And so they have these

regular meetings where each like, allied prisoner of war goes in and presents his his plan of how they're gonna get out.

to it? And they're just like, no, bollocks, bollocks, bollocks. And then

Hatch, Stallone's character, comes in and

he's really,

like, prison braked it. And he's counted, and he

knows their routine, and he knows how he's gonna get out. And they're like, okay, that's got, that's

got merit.

we might look into that. And, at the same time, Colby and Max

Have

Basically squared off about who's the best footballer in the nation and they're going to have a match.

Like it's really early on where they just come up with this

idea.

got

Pete: it right. Plot establishment

Dan: Originally

it was just going to be a match between like the local prison Officers and the prisoners, but soon it picks up some speed because some high ranking official gets Wind of it and and it's propaganda.

I mean, there's lots of propaganda around that time obviously But if they think they're gonna turn over the England team with Colby in it get another thing coming

Cris: Sorry, I have to say though, it's out of all the.

And for a former international and West Ham player, Colby's seriously out of shape.

Sidey: was carrying

a

couple of

Cris: Compared to everyone else!

Pete: it did say former. I mean, I think Michael

Reegs: doesn't stop James Ward Proust, does

it?

Cris: James Bond crap,

Pete: Michael

Caine was about 48, 49 when this film was made. So, he did say, like, he was a

Sidey: player.

Yes, but it's a Prisoner of war camp where they're supposed to be.

Pete: Oh,

yeah. Yeah, Yeah, but as we've established, like, the higher ranking, like,

Sidey: Brits Yeah, they do get, apparently do. Yeah,

Pete: yeah, they're getting, like, comfy beds. Like,

Sidey: And I don't,

so they're all motivated to escape, I'd be like, what, back to that?

If I could

stay here.

Pete: yeah,

Sidey: Stay out the war then. The

Pete: are lovely. And do you know what? If I was in a prisoner of war camp and, like, fancied a footy match, but I knew I had Pelé in my

Dan: I

Pete: I would be going,

Dan: for a 40 man. Presumably

Reegs: presumably that's part of the point, that they're trying to keep them happy so that they

Pete: Like, placated,

Reegs: yeah.

exactly.

And because it's good propaganda for them,

Dan: But the pitches are terrible, really. They're poor

Pete: pictures. There's no, there's no like, 3,

Dan: 4G

No, there's not. No, there's no G.

Pete: No G.

Dan: They,

they managed to get a team together, but it's still not gonna be great team because you're right They're not fed enough.

They're not in good condition. There's been a few years. So Colby

Sidey: a negotiation, don't they?

Dan: as this negotiation

Sidey: works, hatch Hatch keeps pestering him, I let me in, I'll be the co I'll do anything, He's like, no. he just blanks him all the time, Like, no he doesn't want him, he's fucking hopeless he doesn't want him in.

Reegs: He's a goalkeeper isn't

Sidey: he's, He's been

Pete: he isn't at this point, no.

Reegs: Alright

Sidey: he's gonna use the match as his

way of escaping.

 but Cobby sort of

reluctantly

then lets him on as a coach and he just stands there barking orders at them while they just run around in circles.

Pete: him

a coach but he does, it's all more around physio. It's like the care of the

Sidey: players Yeah. and so. They

take an age really to build up to the

football match. There's about an hour. They're, there's

some players that are forced onto them the, these wins are, are properly malnourished and look like shit.

Dan: Well, he's

Pete: no, they're not forced.

They, they're Colby Michael CA's characters has asked for them

Sidey: because

oh, he just wanted to get

Pete: he basically says , he's, he like, sees the roll call of, of like prisoners in other camps nearby and so on. But because they're mostly Eastern Europeans they don't specifically say Jewish guys, like, they say like, you know, Eastern Europeans, polish and stuff like that.

So.

Um, but they're being kept in like far worse conditions, but Kane record well colby recognizes a lot of the names goes like these guys are like some serious players and so on Like we want those on board

And at first, like, you know, the major suggested that's gonna be a hard no, that, that this is not gonna happen.

But he's like, well, if you want your game and you want to go like, you want us to put up a fight against Germany, we need the best players available. Here's my, I'll make my list then. And then the major says, I'll see what I can do.

Dan: And he, he gets them out and when they turn up, they're not sure what to do with him because they are so malnourished.

And, and and you can obviously see that they've been through a lot and. The relative sort of holiday in feeling that they've got the camp there is something new and they have this really kind of quiet moment where they're just eating the food and just tiny little bits on the spoon because it's been so long since they've managed to hold anything down and everything.

So, there's all this going on as they're putting the team together and slowly trying to improve. Hatch has taken opportunity to escape

Sidey: But he's been given

proper

instructions by some, somehow they've got this. Yeah,

The, the, the, Like fucking

committee

there.

You've got

to

go to Paris. rendezvous

with the resistance and arrange for the

Dan: whole team to escape.

Sidey: to Escape during the match and it's scheduled to for halftime

Dan: in Cologne. It's going to be,

Sidey: and he goes there, he does. he does escape. He gets out there and. they say, I don't know, it's going to dodgy.

don't know if we can do it. There's a bit more to ing and fro ing. Ooh,

the

Pete: bit fucking dodgy. If we can do it. There's a bit more to it. Well, when

Dan: when they say it's at a particular stadium, I can't remember which stadium they said, but it goes, oh, it's

Cris: in Paris.

Dan: Paris, and there's They know of some sewers below that stadium. So, oh, wait a minute. It could be possible. Look, we better go and check it out. They do, but then say that you've got to go. Sneak back into the, yeah, you need to sneak back into the the prison that you've escaped from or just get captured.

He goes, well, no, they're not going to take me back to the same place he goes. They will because the Germans like to show everybody that he never escaped. So, or we, we've caught him again. So,

Pete: The bit I didn't get is that the French Resistance are obviously Passing on communications to the, like the Brits within the prisoner. So why didn't they just use those

Sidey: methods? I don't know. It didn't, make any

Pete: they didn't just, have someone captured every time they wanted to

Dan: it's very complex, the resistance, particularly around those times. And if you go really

Pete: in with the plot. So, yeah.

Dan: not sure that, you know, you're talking sense, to be honest.

There's nothing wrong with the plot of this film.

Sidey: film. There's a

snag in the plan though, because he is taken back, but he's put into solitary. He's in the cooler.

Dan: he, he does give it the the signal that he has news by giving the, the goddess of mercury, I think,

Pete: have got that. I'd be like, what's he doing? Like,

Reegs: That looked like moose, yeah. that.

looked Like you were doing

antlers.

Pete: Yeah. No. Oh, he's, he's, he's doing

Sidey: They're scholars though.

These people, they

Pete: are

Dan: exactly. And and so they do manage to get him out saying, look, he's the goalkeeper. And they have to break the

Sidey: They

have a goalkeeper.

Dan: Who's decent.

Sidey: And, They said, no, you've got a goalkeeper. I said, well, he can't play.

He's broken his arm. And they're like, Well, we're going to need Did

Dan: he just say I broke, he broke a finger or two? No, he said he's got

Sidey: Either way.

why,

Pete: why does he have to, like, if I'm that guy, I'm like, right, so, not only are you gonna break my arm, but I'm also gonna have to stay in prison so all you fuckers can escape.

When is, why can't I just go, and we'll leave, like, we'll leave the Canadian dickhead to, like, just rot here.

Dan: Pete, you know, this is the spirit of Blighty

Pete: He was an Irish fella, this, this

Sidey: Callaghan, Yeah.

Oh, Hanrahan, Hanrahan.

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: still took one for the team there and,

Pete: he

Sidey: But Yeah. They

say the doctors will need

To

check him out and make sure his arm's broken. So like, fuck, we will have

to

Reegs: try and fix

Sidey: They get to the slats of his bed.

and They take

the luxury mattress off

the bed and

all the

Egyptian cotton and

they put that to one side,

and they just arrange the slats of the gap, and put his arm there and just stamp on it.

Pete: And

Sidey: And he goes, ah,

Reegs: his

Dan: With his weight, with the weight that he's managed to build

Reegs: build up, he's

Dan: that quite easy

Pete: seen someone do that to their own fingers with a hammer, break their own fingers to get off school.

Dan: Yeah. Well that's,

Pete: similar sort

Reegs: Fuckin hell, there's got to be better ways, man.

Pete: That's what

he did, yeah, yeah. Anyway.

So yeah, they're off to the game. I mean, it's, it's a thick end of two hour film

Sidey: yeah, it's an hour and a half.

Pete: off is about hot with half an hour to go. So there's been quite a lot of buildup that we've skirted through, but really, I mean, Chris and I were talking about this before we started recording, but you don't, it's not a really like.

Complicated plot, you don't really need to necessarily speak the language to know what's going on. It's just a prisoner of war camp type setup and you can tell that there's going to be a big football match as it's kind of like crescendo.

Sidey: Well,

Dan: it's it's packed.

It's it's got everybody and the mother and dog there on the

Sidey: They let in Quite a lot

of it's, about 000.

Pete: it's mostly French, isn't it?

Because they start belting out the national anthem because they're so like proud, even though they just rolled over and had their

Sidey: very sick about the Germans. But,

Pete: Yeah, well, oh yeah, we'll sing a national anthem and that'll show

Dan: And, and we, we, we have had sight now of some amazing players. So Pelé's in it. You've got Aussiard dealers.

Reegs: Pelé? Is he was he just a normal gunner

Cris: from Trinidad.

Pete: was a Trinidadian. That's right, yeah, because the Brazilian, I don't know if you could shoehorn a Brazilian into a second world war scenario, but

Reegs: How many speaking lines does he get Quite

a few.

Okay, so who else have we got? Tell us who else

Pete: Well, Ozzy, yeah, so the three absolute standouts are Pelé, like just Pelé on his own, but then Ardiles and

Dan: three World Cup winners,

Sidey: job walk

Reegs: And then, and

Pete: then you've got, yeah, like Mike Summerbee, like John Walk, some random, I think there's quite a few, there's

like

Reegs: got the

Cris: Scandinavian, a few of them,

Pete: yeah, there's, there's There's a couple of, there's a Scandinavian guy, there's a Belgian, like Van Hempst, and there's a, there's a, but not what you'd say are like real kind of like stellar, you know, A listers,

Dan: but still, if you are in a concentration camp or any prisoner war camp and these ballers turn up, you've got half decent

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: Our dealers were still playing at this stage. He was still at Spurs. This is in 1981. He was still playing till, like, 91 or something. Pelé had retired, I think, about four, four years

Sidey: when? Couple that year.

Dan: Yeah.

Pete: Pele was 44, Bobby Moore retired, he was about the same age as Pele, so, they were born the same time as Pele, so he would have been, you know, early 40s as well.

So they're still in reasonable nick, but

Cris: So they're all around your age.

Dan: Yeah, yeah. Bit younger, actually.

Reegs: A Bit

Pete: younger? Jesus. that makes it, yeah, but yeah, so, yeah, Pele's character, you can already see, in, in some of the training sessions that they have, that he's like, he's the star

Reegs: man,

He's a

bit

good.

Pete: yeah, he is a bit, he's

Sidey: do show you the clobber, so the old

school

boots, you know, These are not

Reegs: do remember that as well.

Sidey: Preds. And

Reegs: And the ball as well. is like, fucking,

Sidey: it'll Take your head off if you're headed it.

Dan: Boots sort of wrapped around their ankles with the laces and

Pete: everything. Yeah. No gloves for the goalie.

Dan: Pele is pulling, you know, he is in his forties.

He's, he's still doing like overhead kicks and shit though, which is absolutely rock. So it's a thriller. You, I mean, people wouldn't believe it if we went through the scores, but

Pete: let's do

Dan: they go, they go goals down

Pete: They go four goals down,

Dan. And

one of the, and,

Sidey: refereeing

is not

Pete: so when it, when it comes to the actual like match itself, the, the, the sort of like the high up Germans are sat not too far from the high up Brits and, like, the Majors character, like Von, is it, how do you say it, Von Sido, or, yeah, Von Sido, Von Sidow, right, there you go, so he's,

He's, he's almost like a bit of a British sympathizer or whatever.

He, he,

Sidey: applauds when they

score. he

Pete: does

Dan: well he's a lover of the beautiful game, I

think.

Pete: is a lover of the beautiful game, but also a fairness and everything. And when he sits down, one of his kind of superiors suggested, like he says, Oh, you know, we've got the referee in from somewhere or other. And he goes, Oh, well let's, let's hope he's fair. And, and the guy insinuates, Oh yeah, well let's put it that way.

He's not going to give many decisions against us. And they're like, listen, I told these guys, this is going to be like a. You know, like a fair fight. But obviously the, the, the refs on the payroll. And that, I mean, is never a pen. It's never a pen. This was Bobby's tackle, wasn't it? In the first

Sidey: They

Dan: be honest, they all look like pens to me.

Cris: I thought that looked like

Pete: No, not the first one. Not the, not the first

Cris: thought that

Pete: gets the ball,

Reegs: I was going to say, is there

Dan: think there was fouls leading up to that. That's what

Pete: But there's a lot of, I mean, they're leaving the boot in on poor Hatch, even though he's turning goal.

Dan: he deserves it,

Pete: Yeah, he does. Yeah, but there's some terrible

Sidey: trouble. Well, Pele gets, the biggest

Pete: well, one guy gets stretched off almost immediately. They go a couple of goals

Sidey: No, they Do they had,

Cris: No, they do.

Sidey: that, I think,

Cris: not only that, I think, sorry, I just think because they had on the bench when they show afterwards, they have only the malnourished players, so they're like, well, we're not going to bring any of them because they might Have a heart attack on the pitch or

So I think that was actually the reasoning and they're like, oh, it looks like they only have ten players They don't bring anyone else on

Reegs: think it might have been featured a little

Dan: the The allies getting a goal back with 10 men against the run of play right on half time And they go into the changing rooms

Pete: No, it was Bobby. Bobby's got the first one.

Cross from the left wing. I dunno what Bobby Moore's doing up

Dan: Well,

Pete: Volleying in at the

Dan: Leading peter leading,

Pete: I I

Dan: he? We need goals.

Reegs: four goals down, You might as well That sends his centre half up. and

Dan: bobby gets us back in the game. But as we go into the changing rooms We find we find out now there's just like a noise and you realize underneath the team

Sidey: bar you see some bubbles. Don't you

Dan: to get naked and we did see some butts and things a little bit earlier in the in the all kinds of footballers. And then the water, the water comes out and geez, the French resistance

Pete: French fellow.

Yeah,

Dan: They've said,

Sidey: Best

wash he'd had in a

Dan: He said, we're

Reegs: don't have to go.

out for the second half?

Dan: And then

Sidey: that's the plan.

Dan: and then as they're escaping, they go, right, come on down there, I think it's Mike Summerby, but it might

Pete: It's, it's a big fell, isn't it? I

Dan: he

Sidey: he looks

Dan: we can win

Reegs: Ha! 4 1

down.

Dan: a minute,

we can win this.

Sidey: Footballers, and you can't believe how old they are. I mean, he looks fucking ancient. He really looks old. He's probably

like

Pete: He's still

Reegs: young at the

Dan: time,

Sidey: yeah. But They say,

Yeah, so Hatch is like halfway

down with the

Pete: is a bellend. Like, he's just

Sidey: fucking

no, I would've been outta there as well.

and

Cris: um I

I

Sidey: And they're like, oh no.

Cris: took, them like a minute to convince them when they, there's freedom that way.

Oh no, let's go and play.

Pete: We can, yeah, but you can win a football match, Chris. What's more important, your freedom or winning a

Dan: 1 down.

If we'd have been winning 4 1, I'd have gone, Alright, well, they're not coming back into it. But I'm not

Pete: 4 1 down. But, you know, when they start, like, going, Lads, we can do this.

When they're stood in a sewer.

Dan: more things, more important than, than

Reegs: there's more at stake.

Dan: And this, this game is one of them, because we're three down

Pete: And then Pele said something but I didn't have subtitles so I didn't understand what he said but it's basically it was like we can do this I think.

Did anyone understand what he said?

Dan: he's feeling a little bit better and he's gonna give it

Pete: yeah I'm gonna give it a go yeah.

Dan: does.

Pete: No I know but he must he does say something in the tunnel.

Dan: Yeah

it's positive.

Sidey: Well, they kind of look at Hatch, and Hatch is the last one.

and Then you just see them coming out of the tunnel for the second half

and They

Pete: peer pressure

Sidey: another goal.

Pete: yeah.

Reegs: 4 2.

Sidey: No

it

goes

post, so the shot comes back off post and someone taps in. It might have been Bobby Moore again, or maybe it

was, maybe it was Ozzy, I can't remember, but, and

it's disallowed.

Massively

controversial.

Dan: Contr. Yeah,

Sidey: And then that kind of almost rallies

the troops

again and they get Another

one.

Pete: Ozzy gets a

Dan: So much

Sidey: You get the slow mo of Ozzy doing the bikey over the

Pete: not a bikey, it's

Dan: an Aussie R dealers.

Pete: the rainbow flick they call it nowadays,

Dan: and then well as, as most times when this happens, the the world slows down to like a matrix level. And then the music comes and , it's like a little bit of piano or heart or something like

Pete: I just say though, that I guess because you've got a lot of real footballers on there, But the way it's shot, the slo mos and everything like that, bearing in mind this is 1981, the footage of the football and the realism of the football, I know that it, some of it's a little bit like Rocky, like trading blows with, but the tackles are fucking furious.

They mean those

Dan: no hiding.

Sidey: Pele choreographed all of

Pete: Well, that, that, that doesn't surprise me because I've seen football films and, and pro, shitty TV programs with football in them that are like, so inferior to

Cris: This is by far the best one.

Dan: Double, double, double footed tackles coming in. They were just

Sidey: going Sliders a couple,

Dan: top of the, yeah, I mean, dangerous tack, as it would have been back in those days.

That's how, how they

Pete: Yeah, yeah, yeah, rough

Dan: warmed up and ready.

Pete: get it back to 4 3, and Who's who's going to come back on still holding his ribs.

They're probably he's got a punctured lung or something, but but Pele or Luis Hernandez. I think his name is in this. Yeah, he's like gaffer.

Get me on. Get me on. So he comes on straight away. He's just weaving past tackles. Hold still holding his

Sidey: head. Hogging it

Pete: does a little

Sidey: Absolutely hogging. it

Pete: Yeah. And there he is.

He is hogging. But what he does do is he does pass it out to the right wing. I think

Dan: Bobby, Bobby gives

Pete: wing

Dan: No, no, it's Aussie out there.

Pete: Oh, okay, yeah.

Dan: out to, but it is Bobby out on the wing. Oh, yeah, on the wing. And he crosses it in for that. Overhead, bikey, dream.

Pete: don't

Sidey: get to see it three or

four times.

Pete: Dan.

Dan: I mean,

at one point I thought that, you know, Hitler was going to jump on to bring an easy and shoot everybody because he couldn't take

Cris: an easy

Dan: get

Cris: An easy,

Dan: uzi, an easy uzi. Yeah, yeah. But yeah, go on, talk me through that Pete

then.

Pete: Oh,

well, I mean, it's, it's, it's the textbook,

Sidey: He's got two

men on him.

And The ball's a little bit behind

Dan: him.

Sidey: full slo mo.

you

Pete: see the slow mo from the from the vantage point of say you're behind the crosser and The balls are up up in the you know It's like arcing in the air and you can already see like the defenders a statue I mean we should have Alan Hanson go.

He's got he moved there like it And so the defenders are statuesque, but you can already see Pele taking a couple of steps to adjust his body because it's behind him and he executes the most beautiful, perfectly timed bicycle kick you're ever going to see. The only thing I think they could have done it stanch, they could have done it top bins, but it does it, it goes in the

Dan: real life, you know, sometimes you

Pete: harder for the keeper to get down to that, right? And then they show a few slow mos and the

Sidey: Yeah, you get to see it again and again,

Pete: yeah, absolutely. But it's like, he's obviously really done it. I'm not surprising, he's Pele. And

I

know we can talk about it after, but how many times have you watched that film and then gone out with your mates and tried to, like,

Sidey: Never, ever

tried to do a bikey in

Dan: this time was no different. I just do it in there with a balloon in the, in the front room. Just getting a few bikeys on

Sidey: But that's, that's not it though,

That's

for all. That is for

all. Still time for some more drama.

Because another penalty is

given.

Pete: And that one is a clear cut. And it's Aussie Ardiles.

It's

Reegs: Oh, It's his hatch,

Pete: It's a

Reegs: moment. It's a

decade

Pete: dickhead of

Dan: a minute to go, you know,

Pete: going nowhere. What's

Dan: experts.

Yeah, I mean, he's a liability.

Reegs: He's, gone, his head's

Sidey: He won the FA Cup

that

Dan: think he might have wanted the Germans to win. I don't know at this stage, but he's

Reegs: Well, he's Argentinian,

Sidey: an argy, so he wouldn't have wanted the

fucking Allies to win. Anyway it's the penalty.

Pete: Carlos Rey is his

Sidey: as well. It's time for

Hatch to step

up.

and it's

Pete: Bauman who's like the villain of

Sidey: Yeah, He's been kicking people, being a

Pete: complete gobshite and

Dan: The first pen, they slowed it right down like Hatch might have had a chance and then it just lashed it in and he was like, Oh, that's that then. He's not

Sidey: This one He plucks it, it's slow mo, to the side, no

gloves, just catches it, lands it and then just the worst

Pete: Yeah,

Reegs: it's

Cris: no

Sidey: dances around.

Pete: it's almost like Rocky at the top of the stairs kind of thing where he's just losing it going, yeah,

Dan: And then he kicks the ball straight down the field. You think they're just going to come straight back the other end and shoot. But apparently that is it. That once you save a penalty against the

Sidey: you

Dan: automatically win

Sidey: game.

And then they just leave At the front

gates. They just go

Pete: Well, all the French,

Cris: pitch invasion. Yeah.

Pete: pitch invasion.

Dan: And they, the, they get the, the, the team gets swallowed up by the 50,000 crowd who lend a jacket on.

You've got Von Schneider. They're seeing it all happen and smiling to himself going, oh, I guess we've lost this. And the war

Pete: we should, we should reiterate.

Dan: But,

Pete: he stands up and applauds the bi key when that

Dan: He does, yeah, it's a beautiful game, he just

Pete: So, he'll be in trouble after

Sidey: Ah, he was

Pete: be in a

Sidey: He was executed, I,

would imagine,

Dan: I,

think he may have been, we never heard from him again. Look at the history book, it's been wiped out

Cris: Well, there's a chat between him and Colby kind of midway through the movie and Colby says to him, like, if you're an officer and a gentleman, like I think you are, you're going to provide me with these players. So he sees himself as an officer and

Reegs: gentleman.

There you go. Yeah. Chris was paying attention

Dan: officer, ladies and gentlemen.

There you go. He's paying attention anyway. As far as as sort of top quality entertainment of documentary, real life and football goes, this is as good as it

Pete: Dan, yeah, I have not seen you this animated and excited for a, for, for a

Dan: I am fired up. I,

Sidey: Haven't you played with Aussie?

Dan: I did get

Pete: get that. That is fucking ridiculous. You've played. So, the reason I'm excited about that is that that makes all of us, like, three removed from Sylvester Stallone.

Because we know you, you know Ozzy, and he knows

Dan: Two actually, I'd go direct to Sylvester if we

Pete: True, true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you've played football with

Dan: Yes, on the

Reegs: played football with you, so I've

basically played football with Ozzy Ardealers.

Dan: all played in the World Cup

Pete: That is pretty

Dan: we've all won the World

Reegs: what was that like then? Was he any

good?

Dan: He

was pretty decent and um Gordon gordon strachan was there as well at the same time this tournament in

Sidey: singapore he just

Dan: retired from cov And he was he was

Sidey: Can you give us a little snippet

of Strachan?

Dan: Ozzy, what you doing? Paul

Sidey: pal? Something

Dan: Something along those lines, I think.

Sidey: Yeah.

Did

Cris: Okay, well

Reegs: well done.

Did he

pass you the ball? Ozzy?

Dan: No,

Sidey: What was it, a testimonial. or something?

Dan: It, it was like a, a friendly testimonial at the end of a tournament. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Excellent. But we just got to run around on the same

Reegs: Yeah.

Pete: So, but talking to documentaries, this film is based on a real game of

Sidey: Kiev, isn't

Pete: It's based on the death

Cris: is it? Really?

Pete: I don't know enough detail about it to talk about it with confidence, but it involves some Soviets or like former Soviets, so Ukrainians playing. And I think they were,

Sidey: Dynamo Kiev players.

Pete: yeah, but they were called like start or something like that. It was a different. But anyway, so they, I think they played and maybe like dared to score a goal or win or something and the, the truth, the story allegedly is a load of them got executed.

Reegs: It's a

slightly different story.

Pete: a slightly different story, but I prefer the one

Sidey: They, yeah, they, they had, There was a kind of unofficial

league

Cause I did my research about this. And

they, they, yes, they beat a

team from a local

German Air Force base. And as soon as that happened, the league was disbanded. Several of the club's team were arrested by the Gestapo and four of them were

executed.

for having The

temerity to win a

football

Pete: a football match.

Reegs: That was never a danger for you in your professional

Dan: No, I always

Sidey: If only.

Dan: side of, of

Pete: the safe side.

Sidey: Yeah, Stallone didn't win

many friends during the making of this.

Dan: No. That's as

much

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah,

apparently so.

He

was a prick about learning, the training and that sort of stuff, and also would just fuck off and leave them all on his, like, private jets didn't, didn't ingratiate

himself

with the

rest

Dan: There was a story of how he actually thought he could save Pele's penalty and because he had to save one or like stand right at him when he just chipped it into his hands. So he really fancied himself as, and I think he made some outrageous bet and then Pele just like put 10 past him in a row and it was like, this is, yeah, exactly,

Pete: thing is, it only really sort of like, dawned on me, as we were watching the film. And because obviously, that's the most footage of Pele that I've like, you know, studied really.

I have seen, you know, old footage, and some goals and snippets, and we know what he did in his career, and so on, but. Before Umesis and Maradona for that matter, this was the guy, this was the guy that was head and shoulders, allegedly, above everybody else that had ever played the game. And he's right there in the middle, he's like

the

Dan: 200 goals, Pete. I mean,

Sidey: he probably counted

that one of

Pete: there's, there's always a few spurious numbers coming out of Brazil.

He

Sidey: a said

of the 47-year-old Michael Kane of his soccer skills awful

and he couldn't even

run 20

yards

Pete: 20 yards.

Cris: You can tell,

Sidey: that. yeah. Yeah. Are you

Pete: wasn't talking about me

Dan: know, it's, it's, it's tough in the concentration camps and the

Sidey: prison It looks really tough. Yeah.

Reegs: I was thinking this is sort of slightly different to Zone of Interest.

You know, Jonathan Glaze's new

Sidey: The one. on the, on the edge of the concentration camp. yeah.

I think Slightly different

take.

Dan: But either way, I look forward to the remake

Pete: They're making it, they are doing a

Reegs: doing a remake. Who's gonna be

Right? So who, I was just thinking about this earlier. Who

would, be in it now? Massey, obviously, but

Cris: No, they're not, he's not, he doesn't know how to

Dan: ask

Pete: No messi's a bell end.

Cris: You

Sidey: It'll be, David.

Sir David

of Beckham,

Pete: Gaza,

Dan: Becks! you'll have

Sidey: Gazza trying to learn some lines.

Reegs: ken

Cris: you need, someone that's got a bit of charisma, but also I

Dan: Gary Oman

Cris: knows a little bit how to act, not just to stand

Pete: Well, like Big Vinny's going to be the skipper, isn't it? It's going to mean machine like

Reegs: I, I think your references are too old.

I think if they were remaking it now, they'd remake it with, like

Pete: so, so how they made, how they made the, this was with the, so there's the big hitters in it were all retired pretty much apart from our dealers.

But then the, the, the

Reegs: Well, that's why you'd have your Messis and

Pete: like, yeah, but they're not retired, but you're also. You also, Rans, were from Ipswich town, who were, who were decent, who were a decent side at the time, they were, they

Sidey: It's also, I

Pete: Yeah.

Dan: Also,

Cris: It's also, I would say if they're going to do it now, you probably looking at someone like Kaka, let's say, who is still in good Nick or Henri, who they're good on the telly. They're good speaking.

They know how to act and speak around other people and smart enough to learn a few lines. You're Vardy on,

Reegs: Yeah,

that'd be great.

Cris: right? I know I would,

Dan: I'd love

to see the

Pete: Yeah, we could carry this conversation on for another hour, and we will.

Sidey: not that good.

I know

Pete: What?

Sidey: excited about it. It was an hour and a half of just tedious, like, getting the match set up.

Then some, some, some fairly decent football footage. Ultimately, fucking, like, load of shite, really Not, not great. No, I'm not even trolling. I'm genuinely not trolling. It's not

Dan: Dan?

Well, I think it's probably a film that didn't get enough recognition at the time from the Academy. I think that as far as documentaries go and history lessons, this is one of the better ones that I've ever sat through.

And I think that the 3. 49 that I paid that is probably going to go to some war cause or something now to

Sidey: start, another one.

Start,

Pete: one.

Dan: to keep the memory alive.

Pete: Chris, big fan?

Cris: a fan? I, I kind of half agree with Sadie. I really liked it when I was a kid. Because I remember watching it now, watching it with my adult eyes as a film with actors in it.

It's not a great film

Dan: have

Cris: but, but I have to say, I agree with you in terms of actual football

Sidey: field. Yes. The football is actually

Cris: which I've, I've watched goal. I've watched Bennett, like Beckham. I watched any, anything that's ever had football in

Sidey: Mm. Football

Cris: It's been actors that have no idea how to kick a ball or how to pass it or how to do anything.

Whereas this one, obviously they're footballers, but the choreography, everything looked natural when they tried to do it.

Pete: it, it stands up.

Cris: that point of view. I really, really enjoyed it. Obviously, especially because I watched it before, I knew kind of what's going on. Stallone was definitely out of place and he just looked like, like a nail in a coffin.

Sidey: So what had he done Rocky one and two at

this

Pete: Yeah, he

he was, this was 81. So he'd already done, yeah,

Cris: was already an Academy Award winner.

Pete: well, if he's private, jetting all over the gaff, he's definitely already hit

Sidey: big time.

Cris: So yeah, it was good, but not as good as, as

Sidey: Other films that are better,

Pete: I just like from from a purely nostalgia. I mean, I know Dan a long time and

Reegs: Oh God.

Pete: spoken about football for a long for all of that time. And I remember being like 16 17 and going for kick abouts the airport pitch and we're recreating bits from escape to victory and stuff.

It's like from a purely nostalgic. Yeah, I definitely got the fuzzy tingle time thinking about, like, having enjoyed it in the past, I hadn't seen it for a long time, like 15 years, maybe more, depending upon the Bureau de Change. So, yeah, I, I'm going to watch it again. I might see if like one, you know, like one of the kids or the ones that are into football want to watch it one day.

And they'll probably hate it, but Pelé, like Pelé is a big deal

Dan: me. Pele, Bobby Moore, what more do you want?

Bobby Moore.

Pete: Strong,

recommend, documentaries go.