Plants & Toscana

Toscana

Sidey: What was this movie? Tus- Toscana or the

Cris: No, but we talk about Plants. Plants.

Dan: Have you got an intro, Riggs? Or are you- Yeah. No. In

Cris: Spanish preferably. Oh, no Si has got one in French.

Reegs: Buenoido, el Bad Dads. No, what the-

Cris: Bienvenido el Bad Dads film review. nos somos al man cave. Al Grotto del Hombre.

Reegs: Grotto del hombre. Yeah,

Cris: Grotto del Hombre is- Yeah ... correct, I would say, in Spanish. Yeah. But I don't know if it's- welcome-

Reegs: certainly

Dan: Grotto del Hombre.

Sidey: Should we get the bad news out the way first? Disa- disappointing- Yeah,

Dan: Disappointing.

Sidey: walking football update.

Dan: know, it wasn't what we... how we wanted to finish. We didn't win the playoff final.

Sidey: We drew.

Reegs: like another set of champions this week, you lost a crucial game after extra time

Sidey: the manager of walking football is a Gooner, so he lost the final on- Yeah ... Friday and then lost the Champions League final. Yeah. Both

Reegs: two terrible penalty defeats this week for English football. One in the shape of course of Premier League champions Arsenal but also

Sidey: More, more devastating

Reegs: More devastating ... more devastating I

Dan: More devastating. Much more devastating was the the walking football. Although, I think we can all be very proud of how we played over

Sidey: Only lost one game all season ...

Dan: season. And sadly for us, we weren't at full strength with our team, so we know we've got levels to go through- Yeah ... into the new season. But

Reegs: It's hard. You had to choose love over football.

Sidey: Really, I love football, so I should've just chosen that. Yeah, I was unavailable because there was no game on that date, and we were out for our wedding anniversary, so I couldn't play. Yeah. I don't think it would've made a difference 'cause

Reegs: Definitely would've made a

Dan: difference. We're not convinced, yeah. Yeah, but everybody had a great time anyway because football was the real winner. Mm. Okay. Yeah.

Sidey: we won the cup, and we finished joint top of the league,

Dan: Yeah

Sidey: and we, and we were second best in a three-kick penalty shootout, so you know, very, very small margins.

Dan: Fine, fine margins

Sidey: we-

Reegs: still cup winners and champions

Dan: Yeah, we

Sidey: There was so much love on the group as well. It was, it was a beautiful place to be.

Dan: It was, yeah.

Reegs: And you'll come back-

Dan: it's just gonna make it feel even sweeter when we win it next year. Yeah. We will remember the, the hurt and pain of one year of hurt. Yeah. But that links nicely actually to to this week's theme and film because it's all about,

Sidey: food Yeah,

Dan: food and plants. Yeah. So you can see that link, can't you?

Sidey: Did you watch anything this week?

Dan: I did actually. A, a good friend of mine recommended a series called Spider-Noir.

Sidey: Oh, okay.

Dan: And thank you, Simon. And I ended up getting quite hooked on it. Nic Cage.

Sidey: Black and white or color? 'Cause you

Dan: 'Cause you- I, I went both actually, because the... I watched the black and white. You can flip

Reegs: You can flip between them and it's a very interesting experience to do so. Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. So I, I

Sidey: kept on- Richie's been into it as well.

Dan: as well ...Yeah, I kept on flipping between them because- I really

Reegs: like the black and white though. Yeah. I've watched it all black and white first, but I have occasionally, because it is a very different experience in color.

Dan: I just- ... to black and white ... there was one scene, I think maybe in episode three, where he's looking at ties in the drawer, and I was just really curious over to what ties, Probably ... what they were like, so... And then it would just hit you with all this color, and it's like, "Wow, that's like a-

Reegs: I think what's really-

Dan: tan suit or something." And,

Reegs: clever because it ... When you watch it in black and white, because it plays off of so many established black and white tropes and ... Like, he's just doing a Humphrey Bogart- Yeah impression for a lot of it. And like it looks, and it's all lit like an old-fashioned black and white, and all the- Yeah ... performances are like an old '30s movie, and all that sort of thing. But then when you put it into color and it's really vibrant. Yeah. Like, really different. So, Really Very

Dan: It's really clever ... and I mean, we, we know about the, the Spidey verse and these different kind of universes that Spider-Man might live in through that amazing Spider-Man film where- Yeah, yeah he went through all that. So this is just another one of those, and in which case, this Spider-Man is not like Peter Parker. It's the, the characters that are in the Bugle and you know, all the other... The, it's completely changed. The, love interest has already died whereas in, you know, Peter Parker would've saved her and everything. So-

Reegs: He's actually given up being the Spider.

Dan: given up. He's got old.

Reegs: story, he, he starts to be the Spider again after plot shifts him into motion, but he's old and yeah, and a bit-

Dan: A- and he's, he's actually quite cynical, and he doesn't mind working a little bit for the bad guys. He's got that selfish streak in him and things.

Reegs: He's got Brendan Gleeson as Silvermane, the

Dan: Gleeson is, is the, the, the gangster. And it was just a really clever idea. And I've... Yeah, I watched sort of one after the other, after the other, after the other until it was time to go to bed. And I've still got a few more to watch, but that's what I've been watching. That was the... Other than the homework, that was all I had time for.

Sidey: Same here, isn't

Reegs: Yeah, I was watching that too. Yeah

Sidey: While you were away?

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: Okay, nice. What about you, Chris? Not even... There's nothing-

Cris: I've been... Yeah, I've been-

Sidey: working too hard, Chris.

Cris: busy. I've been... Yeah, but I need the money, so

Sidey: Mm, true

Cris: I can't do

Dan: anything. Count the, count the coins. Count the coins.

Sidey: coin, coin. Yeah. I have watched this week 11 episodes of The Pitt.

Reegs: Okay.

Dan: Wow.

Sidey: Yeah, real good.

Cris: How many minutes in an episode?

Sidey: Well, if it had adverts, it'd be an hour, but it's 45 minutes where I'm

Cris: okay. What, what, what is it about?

Sidey: It is a hospital drama, but it's, it's hour by hour, so it's their shift. So it's one day- Right ... going through their whole shift. Really good. really

Cris: The Pit".

Sidey: Yeah, it's set in Pittsburgh.

Reegs: Do you have, like, a whole hour where nothing happens or- No. No.

Dan: They're just having lunch.

Sidey: there's various characters in it. So there... It's the first day of three new medical students going in. Yeah. And then there's a, there's one lady who has forced her... She's taken something to force herself to be sick because she wants her son to be looked at. And when they're quizzing her- He's got a list of people, of women he wants to eliminate at school

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: So you're like, "Okay, is he the... gonna be the, the th- the, the through plot," you know, that goes through every episode. Then there's another guy in the waiting room who's getting more and more irate having to wait. The, the waiting room's crazy. It's just like there's there's no even chairs for everyone there. And then another emoji just comes in, and everyone gets more annoyed they're having to wait a bit longer. Yeah. And there's one guy, he fucking clocks one of the... properly whacks and breaks the nose of one of the the lady who basically does all the admin in And you're like, "Oh, maybe he's gonna come back and shoot up the place." You know, you're like waiting for, like, what's the bit, 'cause it's all individual cases. You're like, "Well, something

Reegs: waiting for something in the overarching thing or

Sidey: we are now... Yeah, I think we've got four or five episodes left, and you're like, "Oh, I think it might be the kid. I don't know." 'Cause ev- it's got... it has to happen at the pit-

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: 'cause it's all there, you know. But there's other, like, little light-hearted moments, and there's bits where you, you actually lol, and there's bits where you're like some of the injuries are fucking grim. Like, the first one you see is a completely, like, degloved foot. Oh. Someone's... a hate crime of a, an Asian lady's been pushed in front of a train. Yeah. And the guy's managed to, like, pull her out the way and, but the t- the thing's gone over her foot- Oh ... and fucking ripped all this... It's so grim. Wow ... but it's, it's excellent. Yeah. It's it's Noah Wyle who was- Yeah Dr. Carter in

Reegs: A,

Sidey: So I think he was like, "I don't wanna do another hospital thing," but

Reegs: Something different

Sidey: good. So strong recommend on that. You

Cris: like that kind of stuff, though.

Sidey: do like... Yeah, I do like hospital drama.

Reegs: it sounds like a, a hospital drama, which you like, crossed with 24- Yeah ... which I think you also like,

Sidey: yeah. Interesting. And the guy, the guy who's created it, he, he has... he wrote on ER, and he also wrote NCIS: Los Angeles, which is total trash, but we all we still watch that as well, so- Yeah ... this guy's got previous that we've enjoyed, so yeah, it's a, it's a strong recommend.

Cris: Okay. Interesting.

Reegs: Well, that's the things we watched

Sidey: week. Yeah. Shall we get on to talking about plants?

Dan: Yeah. We're gonna go top five plants.

Sidey: This is your category, Dan Yeah. Is this 'cause we were talking about your,

Dan: i'm sure that might- ... echinops ... that might have been the the seed that was planted

Reegs: Very

Sidey: is. Echium. Yeah. There's a ton of them up at the zoo.

Dan: Yeah. We've got a giant echium in the garden there. And I think we were talking about how the garden was, had a bit of color in it last week and thus

Sidey: we were-

Dan: this idea. Yeah, we were

Sidey: outside last

Dan: week. Yeah, we had

Sidey: so this week. It's not as warm today, and it's forecast to rain, actually.

Dan: And we're probably a little bit later. Yeah. But yeah, there's actually quite a, a rich lot of films that we could choose with, with plants in. If I went right, right back then to the 1960s-

Sidey: Yeah

Dan: The Day of the Triffids.

Sidey: That looks like the

Reegs: echium. John, John

Dan: It would've been Howard Keel.

Reegs: Yeah, but it was the book. The book was John Wyndham, wasn't it?

Dan: Oh, right. Okay

Reegs: book. Did you ever read the

Dan: the book? I don't think I ever read the book,

Sidey: I sort of remember seeing the film, bits of the film

Dan: Yeah, it was all I saw They

Sidey: of like shuffle around.

Dan: That's right, yeah. They were brought to Earth via a meteor- That's right ... and their kinda spore-bearing plants began to, to walk around and ruthlessly hunt human beings. But yeah, it was it was a, a race against survival against these, this kind of multiplying foliage that was just hunting people down and,

Reegs: It's a thing that we- Eating and- That will be represented quite a lot, isn't it? Like, evil plants or plants

Dan: that- Yeah ... attack

Reegs: you or-

Dan: It's quite, it is quite a lot in, in films, you know. I mean, there's probably a couple more in, in the list that I could produce, but some that you may have as well. That where plants have that kind of strangling, eating. It's like the Venus flytrap, isn't it? You've got,

Reegs: I had one at university.

Dan: Did you? Yeah.

Reegs: Died.

Dan: Yeah, they're tough to keep alive. Yeah. We had a, a competition at work recently where we had to grow sunflower seeds. It's still going on. And I planted three, and none of them came up, and everybody

Reegs: quite hard though. You have

Dan: they're really, really easy. Like they go up in a day if you know anything about

Reegs: We've got some in the back. You've got to get them in the right place though

Dan: for- Well, obviously, yeah, that's true because I didn't,

Sidey: you got nothing.

Dan: I got nothing. Although I just scattered like loads in the end and put some... And I had five that came up recently. So I'm, I'm not as downhearted as I, I might have been. But you know, people can say, you know, it's the they're the root of all evil. But

Reegs: Oh, my

Dan: you, you carry on. Go on. I've-

Reegs: I'll carry on with more sort of evil trees. Yeah. Yeah. I'm going for Audrey. Well, it was Audrey II apparently, according to my research. I remembered it just as Audrey,

Sidey: but- I remember it as Seymour, or no, Seymour

Reegs: was- Fee- That was Rick Moranis Yeah ... "Feed me, Seymour." Little Shop of, Little Shop of Horrors. Yeah. 1986, Frank Oz's

Sidey: like it the first time I saw it, because it was a-

Dan: It's a musical

Sidey: was a musical. That's why I think I d-

Dan: like. I, I... Yeah, we hired it. I remember my brother and I, we were like really excited about it. We were like, "Oh, this is gonna be..." Seymour A- and we were like, "What the..." We'd just been cut. The whole evening was just wasted, but we had to watch it because

Reegs: think it's, when you watch it and you're a bit older- ... it's better than PP ... you realize the plant is sort of psychologically manipulating him as well, and he's a bit d- you know, there's a bit more going on for you. But it had a great cast as well. Steve Martin is the dentist. It had Bill Murray- Yeah ... played he was the patient. And obviously Rick Moranis, but there was a previous version in 1960 by Roger Corman as well. I don't think I ever saw that one.

Dan: No, well, I think I was put off after after this one, to be honest 'cause I really-

Reegs: But the plant itself really made a big impression, and it looked amazing. And the p- the sort of stop motion or whatever they used for it it, it was nominated for Best Visual Effects in 1987. But I don't think it won. But they, it had famously had two endings. One in which the bad guy wins and the plant sort of eats everybody and wins and goes on to take everything over, so. Yeah, I think it kind of ends up taking over New York and all that sort of

Sidey: stuff. All

Reegs: that's quite good. But yeah, Little

Dan: I'm surprised there wasn't a few more, you know? It didn't branch

Cris: Wow.

Sidey: You mentioned, I think earlier, that I, I nipped out for dinner on Friday, and I snapped a photo of myself... Well, Kaylee snapped a daft photo of me next to my cheese

Reegs: plate. Yes.

Sidey: And then you followed up with a... And it did look uncannily like Treebeard, the Ent- Yes ... from Lord of the Rings. They're in The Two Towers, aren't they? It's Fangorn Forest, I think, where they first appear after Merry and Pippin run off from a battle and, and hide in there. And they are Required to help in the battle against Saruman specifically. And they, they speak very slowly, and they move very slowly, 'cause they are supposed to be ancient trees.

Reegs: They're a bit nimby, aren't they? They don't ... They're

Sidey: They don't, they're like, "Oh, we don't wanna get involved." They don't give a shit unless it's, like, happening to them.

Reegs: happening to foreigners

Sidey: And they kind of, they t- they have a conference, you know, with all these other trees, these other Ents, and they decide that they kind of, like you say, they're just not really, they're, they're not gonna put themselves in harm's way. And then one of the, I can't remember if it's Merry or Pippin says, "Okay, well, could you just drop us over there?", cunningly- Yeah ... taking them through where all these other trees have been felled by Saruman to power his furnaces and whatever. And at that point they get, like, fairly miffed about all that, and they really, like, start the, the turn of, the

Reegs: absolutely tear it up across the

Sidey: the battle sequence, 'cause they, it almost looks a bit like Jason and the Argonauts sometimes, where they, the stop motion stuff and it's pretty... I'm sure it's not. It's all done on computer, but they, without them, like, they wouldn't have beaten Saruman and, you know, so,

Dan: we'd all been living in darkness now

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: They turn the tide and there's some great bits of them tearing the dam down and all that, and some of them are on fire, but they chuck themselves in the water and save themselves and- Yeah ... it's cool. That, it's really good that bit. It's probably the best out of the three films, I think, actually. So Ents.

Dan: Yeah. Ents. They definitely-

Cris: That segues really nicely into a, a slightly smaller plant in a different film called Leon the Professional.

Reegs: yeah.

Cris: Yeah. And he's got famously got a plant with him that because he has no roots.

Sidey: Like, cleans every leaf, doesn't he?

Cris: And he just kinda always looks after the plant, and at the end of the film, Matilda Matilda plants the plant to show that it's got roots.

Sidey: Yeah, he plants it in Central Park, does she? Yeah.

Cris: It's not really the greatest place because- Yeah. It's just a traffic island ... you would think

Sidey: gonna trample on it. Someone's gonna- Yeah ... take something. Yeah. He'll, like, murder endless people, but he loves his plant.

Cris: Yeah. But, but he, he's a gentle soul. Yeah. So, so, Plant. I can't tell you what plant it was.

Reegs: I can, though. It is an aglaone- aglaonema. Okay. Yeah.

Sidey: Green.

Dan: It's a

Reegs: was

Cris: green. Green. It was green, yeah. That's, I can tell you that.

Reegs: I read today that he was doing a Ga- Gary Oldman was doing a David Bowie impression.

Sidey: Oh, really? He go- he's quite mega in that, isn't he?

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Big time.

Cris: Okay.

Dan: I guess it was just time for him to do it. The plant I'm going to suggest here is potatoes which is Solanum tuberosum.

Reegs: Oh, the humble potato. Yeah. The humble

Dan: potato. The humble potato. Because do you know which one I'm t- gonna

Reegs: talk about? I, I do, I reckon, yeah.

Sidey: Mr. Potato Head?

Dan: Is it Seven Days Ahead? Close. It's The Martian.

Reegs: gonna be The

Sidey: Martian, Oh, right. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And-

Reegs: yeah. Science Is Good, the book ...

Dan: the Science Is Good,

Reegs: Yeah. That, that's what it is, basically. The movie's like, "Science is great, isn't it?"

Dan: Well, he's stranded on Mars a chap called Mark Watney, who is also known as Matt Damon. And-

Sidey: he have to use night fertilizer?

Dan: He's gotta use shit. He uses

Reegs: his own shit,

Sidey: what they call it in N- North Korea, don't they?

Dan: he's basically going to eat his shitty potatoes. It's all

Sidey: whole lot of choice there, did He...

Dan: He didn't have a lot of choice, though, did he? I- no, he didn't have a lot of choice. It was eat shitty potatoes or die.

Sidey: Eat shit or die, yeah.

Dan: Right ... he's got a very limited rations. He's gotta s- like, mathematically work it out- Mm ... and make all these calculations until a rescue mission can, come in and, and save him. But potatoes. Healthy. I

Reegs: don't

Dan: who couldn't live on chips?

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: You know, at the

Sidey: There's no vinegar though

Reegs: though. A cornerstone of the English empire, I'd say,

Dan: Vinegar was piss, I think. I don't know.

Sidey: Pissed on his chips, did he? Pissed on his chips,

Dan: yeah. But yeah, it was it just goes to show, you know, if you can grow a potato on Mars, then you can probably eat and shit potatoes and live on it. I think that's maths now. I think that's, that's what Elon's gonna do, Yeah ... when he gets out there

Reegs: I've got a little list for you if you're interested of planty movies. Yeah. Chive Angry My Little Peony, Kill Dill War Gorse Time Bandits, Fronds with Benefits Mulch Ado About Nothing, Das Root My Own, Privet Idaho- Full Petal Jacket The Hedge of Tomorrow, and The Thicket of It. All, of course, music by Sage Against the Machine.

Dan: Wow. I tell you what, that is mint.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

Dan: A good lot.

Reegs: And I did have a list here of actors who could be in it. Orlando Bloom, Chris Pine, Carrie-Anne Moss, Oliver Reed, Daisy Ridley, Rose Byrne, Sage Stallone and Rowan Atkinson. Which Rowan being a tree, as I learned today.

Sidey: Nice. Is

Cris: it?

Reegs: Apparently so.

Cris: Okay. I was thinking that...

Reegs: Yeah, no, I, yeah

Cris: Yeah. Wow. Okay.

Sidey: There's a few Doctor Who ones

Reegs: Of what? Trees? plants.

Sidey: plants. Manny's, the managing plant in the episode The Seeds of Doom from 1976. It's a crinoid fr- an alien plant that takes over mammals. same one. And a verdant. They were in various Doctor Who episodes. They were just sentient plant aliens.

Reegs: Just that?

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. What about, Did anyone see, I think it was a book Annihilation?

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: That was some sort of plant monster thing. The film was really-

Reegs: Well, it was the Shimmer really, wasn't it? It was a place where the Shimmer, and inside the Shimmer it was like this dome, and inside there, like DNA ended up getting spliced together, so you got like crocodile fucking humans

Sidey: plants I found the film really difficult-

Reegs: was difficult. Yeah. It was weird. I mean, I think it was a weird book anyway, but then it was Alex Garland was the screenwriter, and he purposefully only read the book once and then wrote the screenplay, so screenplay is kind of an impression of the book as well. So that's quite mad, too. So

Sidey: Oh, I should probably say what else, 'cause other stuff that I've been watching this week was for the, the movie Backrooms is

Reegs: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah

Sidey: I was going through watching all the old web series stuff. Yeah. They're quite creepy.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Have you seen it all?

Reegs: Some of it, and the

Sidey: Sorry, it's not creepy scary, it's like X-Files

Reegs: No. Yeah, I know. The idea is a bit like, there's a book called House of Leaves that I really love, and in it, it's like a, it's, it's quite a sort of postmodern book. It's like a book about stuff that's happening. It's commenting on itself and s- Right ... all the time. And a bit of it is called the Navidson Record, which is about wandering, like, this weird space. Right. And it's really creepy. And Backrooms is a similar vibe,

Sidey: Oh, yeah.

Reegs: But it was that ... You, Sonny said it was shit though, didn't you, Zane?

Dan: son? He didn't like it, no. He went with his friend and thought it was thumbs down for him.

Sidey: Worth it.

Dan: Yeah. Worth

Reegs: it, Sonny.

Sidey: Any more plants, Chris?

Cris: Yes. There are some plants, apparently 500 acres of them, in "Interstellar." Nolan planted- corn fields ... planted the corn

Sidey: he did. Yeah, he went

Cris: he didn't wanna have CGI for

Sidey: the plants-

Cris: Yeah ... for the corn fields. And although that's okra in the film,

Reegs: he planted corn. He sold all the corn at a profit.

Cris: Yeah, afterwards he, he made profit on the corn, and- Yeah ... he, that was profit on the, on the budget, I guess.

Sidey: the film paid for itself.

Reegs: Yeah. So

Cris: yeah, from corn. Yeah. So I, I don't know how many-

Sidey: hub. don't know

Cris: how many... Yeah, exactly. Cornstellar. I don't know how, how many more people have done that, but- No ... I, I thought that was actually quite- Before

Dan: You'd have thought it'd have been all ears.

Cris: I- yeah. I dunno what that m- is that a joke?

Reegs: Yeah, ears of corn that's

Dan: thing that that's a thing that they say. I tell you what, it, it makes you think of build it and they will come.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Field of wet dreams.

Dan: Yeah. No, that's also got lots of plants and corn and things where the, the baseball players just come out of the...

Sidey: Shoeless Joe Jackson.

Cris: No.

Dan: Never seen that with Kevin Costner? see it. Oh, right. Okay. S- sounds like we're gonna have to genetically modify tomatoes for you, because The Attack of Killer Tomatoes is

Sidey: dog ... also,

Dan: There you go ... a, Killer Tomatoes ... a, a film. Yeah, do y- it's sentient giant red tomatoes have been genetically modified, Chris, and they gain consciousness.

Reegs: is that the one that Clooney's

Sidey: in? Yeah, he's in one of them,

Reegs: Yeah

Dan: and they roll through cities to consume people.

Reegs: It's not very good, I have to

Dan: It's not very good, but it's-

Reegs: the title just promises so much.

Dan: It doesn't really. Attack of the Killer Tomatoes,

Reegs: doesn't promise something to you? That does to

Dan: It may be, but not so much.

Sidey: Troma film?

Reegs: No, no.

Dan: But it, it was, that name just gave it a-

Sidey: I think it was Clooney's first ever screen appearance, wasn't it?

Dan: Yeah. Yeah. And- Which is probably-

Sidey: much- I, remember, I remember him having a mullet

Dan: famous now

Reegs: His best ever, some say.

Dan: Some say. I mean, there, there's, there's quite a lot, isn't there, in, in plants when we, we go to, to think about it. I've got a, a- another one that I would like to it's a really good film Into the Wild. Do you

Reegs: Oh, yeah,

Dan: Oh, yeah ... that with Emile Hirsch? He's, it's based on a true story, and I think Jon Krakauer who did Into the Wild and also, he did Into the Wild, also did the Everest,

Sidey: free Solo?

Dan: tra- no, he did the, like, where a guy had to drop another guy,

Reegs: Yeah, yeah, yeah,

Sidey: yeah. Into the void. void. Touching

Dan: Yeah ... into the void. Touching the void. Yeah. Touching the void. And but this was the, the story of what was Christopher McCandless Oh,

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: And he mis- basically the plant side of it, he, he misidentifies a toxic

Sidey: plant- He poisons himself, doesn't he?

Dan: Poisons himself, doesn't he? and poisons himself eating,

Sidey: I remember him in the film, he's just going down through belt buckle, you know, belt- Yeah. Yeah like holes- That's right ... having to, like, get his knife and stab more holes and then eventually, like, he's, like, he's

Dan: fucked. He's, he's he's losing weight and

Reegs: he basically went out there to kill himself anyway

Dan: He's- Well, no, he w- he went out there to live off the, the land, and for a part of the film, he was really enjoying that, getting back to nature. He was obviously, you know, a little bit lost and, and wanted to find himself within nature and try to give himself a, a chance. He, he'd looked into smoking food but that didn't work right. He didn't really know what he

Sidey: he'd killed an entire animal, didn't he? But he didn't have any way to preserve it, and that- Yeah that went wrong, and he just ended up starving,

Dan: he ended up trying to live off like berries plants and things and he misidentified I think it was a sweet pea instead potato or whatever it was and, and then killed himself and-

Cris: did

Dan: I think there was a van wasn't there? It was an old school

Cris: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah, it was a school bus. Yeah.

Dan: Which people go out to and visit.

Sidey: Oh, really? Probably now Yeah but,

Dan: this happened back in the day and yeah, I, I really enjoyed the film.

Cris: Yeah, I watched that. It was really sad, though.

Dan: Emile Hirsch. He, he, he's done, he did Lords of Dogtown I think- Mm ... which is hitting Netflix at the moment or, or Prime or something. Really hadn't seen in a long time and I thought

Sidey: Isn't Heath Ledger in that as well?

Dan: Yeah might be. Might be, yeah. There was a, a

Reegs: And he was in Speed Racer as well, which

Dan: was-

Reegs: Right fucking awesome

Dan: But this was, I think, probably his, his best in a, in a little while anyway. He seems to make some cool choices, if not hugely popular in mainstream and stuff. They're, ... I- it's quite good. So there, that one as well. I, I'll plant that one.

Reegs: Adaptation was the Spike Jonze movie written by Charlie Kaufman.

Sidey: The plant pots are on the cover of the film. Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. And the film, it was written by Charlie Kaufman, and the film is about the struggles of Charlie Kaufman adapting the book The Orchid Thief by Susan Orlean- Right who also features then in the movie played by Meryl Streep.

Sidey: it go into Being John Malkovich, the set of it- in the

Reegs: yes, there is a bit of that because he's also sent away from that set as well. O- and it, he also ... in this one he has a ... So the, the, the film is sort of about his struggles adapting this book that he's supposed to be writing, which is what he was commissioned to do, was write the story of The Orchid Thief, and then because he couldn't do it, he wrote about the struggle of not being able to do it. And, he ... It's also about his insecurities and his love relationships, which are all comically wrong, and he's got this twin brother, also played by Nic Cage, who's, like, the opposite of him. Like, kind of a bit suave. Also a screenwriter, but a really trashy one who's gonna be famous by the end of it. And the movie's, like, all post-modern and clever, and then at the end it devolves into the kind of trashy shootout stuff that it's been talking about. So it's quite a c- funny little movie that I really, really like. So that's Adaptation. And then Sam Raimi's evil rapey trees-

Sidey: Oh, yeah ...

Reegs: in The Evil Dead. Yeah. Famously now he says he went a bit too far. He

Sidey: it's really rapey in the first one, yeah

Reegs: but yeah, y- I mean, it does show a branch basically going up a woman's chuffty, so that's not very nice, is it?

Cris: Horny trees. Yeah. You know, like Dagu.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Do you want some musical ones? Please. Soundgarden. Yes. The Roots, Guns N' Roses. Yes. Cypress Hill, The Vines and then song titles, "Rose Garden", "Thorn In My Side"- Yeah ... "Scarborough Fair", obviously that's got parsley, sage, rosemary, and thyme in there. Yeah. "Thistle and Weeds" by fucking Bumford and Sons. "Willow" by Taylor Swift, everyone's favorite. Yeah, love it. "Cactus" by one of my favorites, The Pixies. And "Poison Ivy" by The Coasters, who was then character in Batman

Reegs: just the band Poison Ivy.

Sidey: There's a Batman Poison Ivy? Yeah. And I was thinking, when I was, I was thinking about the brilliant Joel Schumacher, wanna say Batman & Robin-

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: with Poison Ivy, Uma Thurman. She's really hot- Yes ... as Poison Ivy. And she seems to be in control of Bane in that one.

Reegs: Bat nipples.

Sidey: Yeah. That is bat nipples, yeah. Yeah. So those, and then I probably just Nom next, I think.

Reegs: All right. Okay. Chris, what you got?

Cris: I have got in Batman Begins- the fictional Himalayan blue flower, which- Oh, yeah he gets told to bring up to- Ra's al Ghul ... the Ra's al Ghul, and then the twi- the, there's another twist to the powers of that plant because it's hallucinogenic and the-

Reegs: The Scarecrow

Cris: Yes. The Cillian Murphy? Yeah. He uses it to, as a way to-

Sidey: This,

Cris: this, yeah, as a toxin and to, to make people lose their

Reegs: and- You get that great scene of where Batman makes him inhale a load of it, and he's, like, threatening him, and he just appears as, like, this- Demon demon, yeah ...

Sidey: face and stuff. yeah.

Cris: So I, I thought that was quite a good one. It's a real life, a rare real life Himalayan blue poppy or a blue thistle. Okay. And they're-

Sidey: looked thistley, didn't

Cris: Blue thistle ...apparently the New York Times made a botany piece detailing the film's inspiration. Mm. But the actual properties of these, of the blue thistle aren't hallucinogenic. That

Sidey: was just the- Boo ...

Cris: Ooh ...that was just the, the plot for the film.

Reegs: Who used to blow on their thistle whistles? Who was that?

Sidey: That was Family Ness, wasn't it?

Reegs: Was it? They used to blow on the fam- on

Sidey: the thistle Whistle. Thistle

Reegs: whistle thistle whistle. Yeah.

Dan: Oh, well-

Cris: Okay. And then I've got my nom.

Dan: Well, this will be nice. I've never seen these films the Evil Bong and the Evil Bong 2.

Sidey: No. Is that Cheech and Chong stuff?

Dan: Well, Cheech and Chong was gonna be my nom- Right ... because, Same ... there was the Up in Smoke movie, which really isn't funny unless you are high as a kite. But then it's, it's super funny. And, and Cheech Marin and Tommy Chong we- were smuggling a van entirely made of marijuana. And at one point, The... they're looking for weed, like, you know. They haven't got anything to

Reegs: That's right, yeah

Dan: yeah. They've got absolutely nothing, but they don't know that the van, the entire van is made of weed, Mm. And it's smoking out the back, and

Reegs: fucking awful. It's sort of coming back to me now ...

Dan: a cop. Yeah, a cop has pulled up behind them, you know, like on a CHiPs kind of- style motorbike. And by the time

Sidey: he's- Eric Estrada ... Yeah

Dan: Errol Flynn. yeah, by the time he's pulled up to them, he's ab- he's just been breathing in the fumes of- Yeah of the the van, and he knows, like, "What the hell is that?" Like, and then by the time he gets to the window, he just can't remember why the hell he's there or anything. And they're looking at him going, "That's just the weirdest conversation we've ever had." Like, you know? I, I remember years and years ago watching this and not finding it funny, and then maybe a, a few months later watching it again and finding it really, really funny. And it just goes to show you, doesn't it,

Reegs: Definitely a cult classic. It's

Dan: a cult classic. It's a cult classic. And yeah, I thought I would would sow that seed. or- I'm gonna keep that as my nom. I d- I, I just bec- there is loads. Mr. Nice was in there. I mean, if we're thinking- Yeah of plants in the more smokeable side, Howard Marks one, yeah. Yeah. I, I, watched an interview of Howard Marks a little while ago. And it was you know, obviously he was, put in prison. He was, he was a big t- big time drug

Sidey: He was Industrial, scale. Industrial. Yeah.

Dan: yeah ... industrial s- scale, and he got a lot of people involved in it, and he would play it down like, "No, they were just like, you know, just people that were just helping somebody get a smoke." But he was making multi, multi-millions out of... He was making coin, coin, coin out of it. But he did also have that opportunity to work for the British, Yeah ... MI6 because they wanted to use him to get into the people that he knew and would- Yeah ... cross those fields, and he, he didn't ever really do that, but he said that he would do it. And then he said he would work for them, and then he used that as part of his defense in a court case against him, and they had to concede at one point, "Yes, well, he was ki- you know, employed by us for a very short period," and that gave him then the cover to say- Like, "You're getting rid of me" ... "They're just putting me, they're just putting me out in the cold here. Like, you know, they're throwing me under the bus, but actually a spy working Secret Service and all the rest of it." Yeah. Howard Marks. Howard Marks, that's how he got off on

Sidey: Me and you and the guy from The Sparks hanging out with Howard Marks.

Reegs: And he was in one of the s- something... Was he in Human Traffic talking to-

Dan: Yeah, I think he was. He was,

Reegs: in- ... danny Dyer?

Dan: Danny Dyer? Yeah. Or one of them, yeah.

Reegs: And I'm so excited 'cause Rivals Season

Sidey: he said he's gonna see his dick ...

Reegs: gonna see his penis. That is very exciting. go.

Dan: That's Danny Dyer's, not Howard Marx's,

Reegs: No. Yeah.

Sidey: Bigs?

Reegs: It's nominating time, isn't it? So, just quickly, Swamp Thing with the Wes Craven. Oh, no, I'm there. Oh, was

Sidey: no. I've got a ca- I've got, I've, I actually got a few candidates, so you, you go.

Reegs: Swamp, Swamp Thing, Wes Craven made the movie, a 1980s movie,

Dan: uncle Wes ...

Reegs: he has a bit of Yoda-type dialect. He says, "Much beauty in the swamp if only you look." He was a great little character Swamp Thing. And they tried to redo it- Well, they-

Sidey: there was the comic, the, the, the nov- graphic novel part of the series by, Oh my God, the one I did, the dude that I really like and I can't think of his fucking name, did Watchmen and all the rest of them

Reegs: Alan Moore? Oh yeah, it was Alan Moore. Yeah,

Sidey: Yeah, he did that. And yeah, like you say, they did, they did a TV series of it. It was one of those ones where the TV series was actually really good, but it didn't find an audience, so they canceled it before it was finished.

Reegs: It's still on Amazon, isn't it? I

Sidey: I really liked it. You can watch it. I really, really liked it. Yeah. But I like the Swamp Thing as a character anyway.

Reegs: Yeah, 'cause it's got that real tragic- Yeah ... sort of Jekyll and Hyde type thing as well. Yeah. So that was really good. There's obviously Groot from Guardians of the Galaxy.

Dan: Ah, Groot. I am-

Reegs: Groot. Which was a great way for Vin Diesel to get paid for saying the same three words

Sidey: asked for direction on like, "Well..."

Reegs: And, and then he did it in Spanish and all that as well. Soy Groot, or whatever.

Cris: is that t-true? He actually-

Reegs: Yes, yes, yes. Very true, and he got paid a lot to do it.

Sidey: Why not?

Dan: I am Groot.

Reegs: Yeah, exactly.

Sidey: Well, and what's he thinking here? Say the fucking line, dickhead. Yeah.

Reegs: But my nomination is going to be, oh, Herbie Goes Bananas. 'Cause bananas are a fruit.

Sidey: and herbs.

Reegs: pl- another

Sidey: Okay. There is a Simpsons for everything, and I'm going for Season 11. The episode is called E-I-E-I-D'oh. And it's

Reegs: Tomacco.

Sidey: Yeah. Homer grafts a tomato plant onto a tobacco plant using a plutonium rod. Crazy. Awesome. Sounds so healthy. Yeah. A tomato plant that contains nicotine

Reegs: It tastes disgusting, and- It's horrible ... they immediately want to eat it.

Sidey: a week. Yeah. So that's, that's a big boom. I think Laramie Cigarette Company ended up trying to buy it-

Dan: Ah ...

Sidey: yeah, so Tomacco. Yeah. That Season 11 is, like, when it's for me- Starts ... starts to not be so great- Not so ... 'cause feel like... Yeah. Anyway

Cris: The nom I have is from Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows, where Sherlock Holmes sees Professor Moriarty's dried plants.

Sidey: Oh, yeah.

Cris: And that's the plot twist to deduce the cipher from his notebook. Yeah. Because he-

Reegs: watched that one, didn't we?

Cris: we? Yeah. We did it for the pod, yeah. And Moriarty has a book called The Art of Domestic Horticulture- Yeah ... but he doesn't actually look after his plants.

Reegs: Ah, yeah.

Cris: Oh, yeah. So that's how Sherlock- He knows deduces that. He's like, "How can a such a meticulous person not look after his plants, but have that book on his,

Reegs: jared Harris, isn't

Cris: it? Yeah. Yes.

Reegs: Yes. Yeah. He's so good. I like

Sidey: Richard Harris' son.

Reegs: Is it? yeah. Oh,

Sidey: Yeah. That's not one of our Shifu thing.

Reegs: Yeah. No, actually is.

Cris: Ed Harris' nephew. Yeah.

Sidey: And Rolf Harris' brother. Brother-in-law. Yeah.

Cris: And yeah, the irony of the dead plants exposes the book importance, and Holmes has the key to crack Moriarty's code.

Reegs: Yeah. Nice.

Sidey: I like that film. that's

Cris: why the ... It was ... I was like, plants, but they're dead plants, but they are still plants nevertheless- Yeah ... so I

Reegs: think I'm remembering pretty much the final scene of the movie where somebody's blending into the furniture.

Cris: Yeah. Well, he's in the ... Urban camouflage, it's called, and he's got half wallpaper, half armchair or something like that, and he just kinda

Sidey: obviously gone over the Reichenbach Falls at that point.

Cris: Yes. Yeah, he went off the falls, but he had the, the breathing device that he had from his brother, I think, from

Sidey: Mycroft. Mycroft. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Cris: So that was a plant,

Sidey: That's a very diverse selection of plants we've got there.

Reegs: It is.

Cris: I thought so. Yeah. Apparently there was a subsection of plants in the industry or plants in film, as in someone planted. I didn't really

Sidey: Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay

Cris: I didn't really interpret

Dan: I thought somebody might go for that, actually. I thought we

Cris: Yeah. I thought, I thought you would've gone

Reegs: that. I had vocal time this week.

Cris: All right.

Dan: Okay. Fair enough. Which is, which is somebody, yeah, obviously who has

Sidey: Oh, But perhaps one of our listeners might give us that.

Cris: Yeah.

Dan: Oof. Would you? Would you now? Well, let's find out

Sidey: Straight in.

Cris: Straight in? Straight in. Balls deep

Sidey: To Tosc-... Right, hang on, let me get my comb on my notes 'cause

Cris: Toscana. You said you haven't watched this, No ... Uncle Si. Okay.

Sidey: Toscana.

Cris: Which is the

Sidey: Which is the- We had the chat on the group ... Italian word

Cris: for Tuscany.

Sidey: Yeah. W- we... There was a cafe very near where I used to live in The Parade in, in in St. Helier. It was called Toscano's, actually. But we would go there quite a lot after a night out- Right ... 'cause they did a great breakfast. And Pete and I would often debate, like recently, what, what is mandatory on a full English breakfast. Yes. I- Bacon hate beans in a ramekin. Put them on a fucking plate, especially when you need a greasy spoon. So they would have beans on the plate.

Reegs: Okay. Beans, bacon,

Sidey: sausage. I don't think that sausage- Mushrooms ... and, and, and, and I didn't think Pete would agree with me on this, but I don't think that actually sausage is mandatory on a, on a breakfast.

Cris: Eggs, bacon- Eggs are ... beans, and mushrooms. Mushrooms. You have to have that. And

Reegs: Tomato, even though I don't want it.

Sidey: And they would, they would do fried bread,

Dan: which is- Oh, well, I was about to

Sidey: game changer.

Dan: an absolute game changer ... fr- fried, fried bread is where

Sidey: gold standard. so

Cris: what? Like deep-fried bread?

Dan: Yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Oh.

Sidey: So they'll, they'll probably do the bacon and whatever in the fat in the pan- Yeah then they'll just get the slice of bread

Dan: Oh whenever

Reegs: I was gonna say, whatever, whatever else- Oh,

Cris: yeah.

Sidey: soak up everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then, and then it doesn't disintegrate when you put the beans on. No. It's like- Because it's- It's- Solid, yeah

Dan: Okay. I used to go to a

Sidey: greasy- Really healthy as well spoon

Cris: in- Yeah,

Dan: Yeah, of course ... in and you would just go through and add on what you wanted. Like it was like a buffet-style thing, and you get to the fried bread, and it was just like- Nice ... deep, deep-fried bread. And I would have that with mushrooms. There'd be some egg and beans.

Sidey: I, I also said that black pudding, it has to be on there. Not for you but-

Dan: I, I go, I go the v- I go the veggie style

Reegs: one I think most people would say you add it now, don't you? I mean, I love it on a thing, but you expect to probably add it on.

Sidey: I like it when it's mandatory and then people don't want it and I get it off their plate ... have toast

Dan: as well, and, and tea obviously that will go with that. But,

Sidey: I like to have... So the real absolute dream would be to have fried bread- Mm ... and then you can have a side of toast- Yeah ... with preserves, so you can have marmalade or jam. Ooh it's a little almost like a dessert. Bread

Cris: and fried bread?

Dan: I, I

Sidey: Yeah. Okay. I got it 'Cause then you can have your bread with your brekkie, but then you can also have,

Reegs: serving different purposes

Cris: hash

Sidey: You could have these things and give you the hash browns toast and marma- no. That, that can get

Dan: fried bread

Reegs: Hash browns is an American thing, I think.

Sidey: Fuck off to America if

Cris: know.

Reegs: I don't think- It's not G- I like it, but-

Cris: all over the world.

Sidey: No, you-

Reegs: it's not mandatory on

Dan: a full English breakfast. You, you could... Like the Swiss do it better actually. They have a Swiss

Sidey: rosti. What the fuck?

Dan: The fuck? They do, they do a really good-

Reegs: like a rosti as well, yeah

Dan: a thin hash brown. It's, it's really

Sidey: kind of- Yes, but that's not

Reegs: So in summary-

Sidey: English breakfast. stronger your case But, but when we get into this movie, there is, like, almost out of the gate, there is cookery. Like, 'cause what this is, this is a fine dining dude. So it so it, it de- defaulted to me to be dubbed, but I didn't realize at first that it was foreign language, and I was like, "Fucking voices in this are weird." And I was like, "Oh, hang on."

Reegs: Oh, there was an option to have

Sidey: it's like it's Danish, so I, like, immediately swapped it back for, and then you, then you get a lot of Danish, Italian- And English ... and they speak English as well, yeah. So this is a dude who is running-

Cris: Well, no, initially you get the funeral.

Sidey: Yeah.

Cris: You get the, the old man's

Sidey: it. You get the old man's funeral. Yeah.

Cris: And you get Sofia and Pino crying. Yeah. And then it goes to

Sidey: Copenhagen where- He is, he is cooking- Art is, art is cooking Yeah extremely refined fine dining cuisine But with zero joy and struggling

Dan: freedom, like really, innit?

Cris: It's all quite sterile, no? He's

Sidey: not, he's not enjoying what he's doing, and he's he's... That's reflected in his team. He's quite overbearing on his team. And they're, they're trying to start a new restaurant venture, aren't they? Yeah. And they're looking for investment, and the... Some guy just like bundles into the kitchen. He's trying to de- first of all, we see him demonstrating these dishes and, and it does look like immaculate, but

Cris: Yeah, like a bird's nest. It's something that simulates a bird's

Sidey: like everything's very precise. It, it is tweezer food, you know. Yeah. It's very, very precise. The sort of stuff that I used to really like and now fucking hate. Anyway, this guy who... He's hoping that... He's got a business partner, and they're hoping to wow this guy who will pump some money into the restaurant-

Dan: 9 million euro.

Sidey: Yeah, so like it's not a small amount. He's, like, looking for a big... So this guy figures like, "Well, they want money out of me. I'm gonna go back. I'm gonna fucking..."

Dan: I just think though just, just for a pause there, like 9 million euro for a restaurant.

Sidey: You're never making that back.

Dan: When are you... Where... I mean, how much do you have to charge, and how much do you have to... How long do you have to go

Cris: we can tell you how much you can charge.

Dan: before- Yeah before you

Sidey: The Fat Duck, and it was 700 quid a head.

Cris: So that's how much you can charge

Sidey: there. But even, even things like... The- But 9 million- So people with-

Dan: euro, that's a lot of 700... You, you c- How many-

Sidey: People would say, like, if you go through all the fine dining restaurants in the world, El Bulli, you know, in... What is it? Mu- Barcelona ... it was outside Barcelona, a coastal, you know, thing. Impossible to get a table. You get a table, blah, blah, blah. Loss-making every Yeah. He had to... They had to make up all of the money by doing public appearances, speaking after dinner stuff, to make it, make ends meet, but the restaurant would never, ever-

Dan: money. No, I just can't understand, like if somebody's investing 9 million euros in a...

Sidey: So this, so this guy, he, he comes into the kitchen, and he's like, "Oh, really..." He's a bit flash. He's young. He's obviously got money. He's got his, like- your- ... trophy wife there

Cris: His missus is taller than him.

Sidey: And the... And you can see, theo Dahl, who's like, "Yeah, okay. Fuck off, like we're cooking." Do you know what I mean? He's not at home for this dickhead, and he very, very quickly loses his shit, doesn't he? Yeah. He-

Dan: Yeah. Well, he- he's just read that day actually a letter, isn't he? Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Which has happened- He's very emotional

Dan: That his father had passed and that he should go and

Reegs: The funeral at

Dan: the- Claim all of the money ... yeah, he should go and claim the inheritance, but he never liked his father. Kind

Sidey: flashback of him making him cook, like, a million eggs in a row or

Dan: or something. Yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. yeah. And that's... So this is where he's, like, got his cookery skills from, but he's also, like, resentful of it. He's got a complicated relationship with his father.

Dan: A- and so this big day that they've kind of- tor... He f- he completely fucks it 'cause he just loses his shit at the

Sidey: tells the guy to fuck off. He insults the missus, and the guy's like, "Okay. Okay, fine. We'll go." And then he just launches all the stuff off the, the, the, what do you call it? Plasse. Yeah. Where he's serving all the food and-

Reegs: table The pass.

Sidey: the passe ... yeah, the passe. Yeah, he, he fucks all that onto the floor, and he shouts at everyone, and he stomps off. And yeah, that went well.

Dan: and we learn

Sidey: You can kiss your 9 million-

Dan: lost the in- investor no surprise the next day, and he says, you know, "Well, what are you doing?" He's going, "Well, you know, I'm looking after my team. I wouldn't ask them to..." 'Cause he's cleaning the kitchen and everything. Yeah.

Cris: wife- Which by the way, if you're a chef and a head chef, you're never touch- Nothing. I've worked in a million restaurants, and pubs, and hotels, and bars. If you're a chef, especially if you're a head

Sidey: You've done that stuff o- on the way

Cris: you're

Reegs: yeah. You're not cleaning that, that

Cris: If you touch a bar of soap, it's to wash your hands and to wash your ass. That's it.

Sidey: They are getting tickets, shouting them out to the team, putting them back, and, and looking

Cris: and putting the stuff at the end just on the pass. Make sure it's- And make the menu and go outside to look immaculate and speak to the guests. If you're a Michelin, like a fictional Michelin star restaurant chef, you're not getting involved to wash dishes. I'll tell you that for free.

Dan: So he's, he's doing this, like, you know, he's this two Michelin star kinda chef, and he's, he's doing this, and the woman says, "Why are you doing it?" He says, "Well, you know, I'm not gonna ask the team to clean up my mistakes." And then she twists that back on him and says, "Well, we've just lost that investment, what you're doing now to help your team you- why don't you go and..." She knows about the father passing away and him having this, but

Sidey: has actually inherited it

Dan: yeah, he's, he's inherited this kind of place.

Sidey: The, like, ancestral home.

Dan: go and sell it, you know, and then we can start again maybe. It's a million euro or 900,000 or, or whatever it is." So begrudgingly, he's sets off to, to Tuscany, and he goes down and sits in the restaurant, and he finally gets there, going up little hills and mountains and things. And it looks beautiful, you know, but it's all very, very rustic

Sidey: kind of rustic cuisine that is a million miles away from-

Reegs: Mm.

Dan: seen that it was a million miles away. So- Oh, ex- exactly. A

Sidey: He- ... what he has been doing. I wonder if he'll find himself.

Reegs: if he'll reconnect with his passion for cooking. And s- straight away- Yeah, but, but that's okay. W- knowing the formula is part

Sidey: yeah.

Reegs: fun

Sidey: It's fine

Dan: Yeah. Well, straight, straight away he, he goes in, he sits down, and he's Not impressed by the table that's, that's not sitting properly- Yeah on the floor. It's got a bit of

Reegs: All the aesthetics are a problem for

Dan: he asks for some water and she tips it on the ice, this girl, the who we later find out is- Yeah ... is her name Sophia. But

Reegs: tastes

Sidey: he has a huge freak-out because he's like, "What are..." He, he goes, "What are you doing? What are you doing?" And she's like, "Well, it's water." And he's like, "Yeah, but I don't know what, where this ice cube is from. You know, it could be out of the fucking pond or something." And she's like, "This guy's a fucking dick."

Reegs: yeah. Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. So, and he is a dick.

Reegs: Yeah, 'cause he's in the middle of nowhere. You can't expect...

Sidey: So she's like, "Right, fine," and she just tips the water back from the, the, into the bottle and fucking bangs it down. And then the, the other person has to come over and apologize, and blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And, and he says, "Listen, I just wanna fuck off." He eats some of the food, doesn't he? He's

Dan: He

Cris: some of the food. The bread and the oil. And the oil- He

Sidey: the oil. When he tastes the

Cris: oil ... when he tastes the oil, he's like, "Oof."

Sidey: he's like, "Mm." He's like... And she, and she goes, "Yeah, it's fucking good, isn't it?" And he's like, "Yeah, okay. I'm gonna go." And then she sees his name on his credit card and she's like, "Oh, you're Theo Dahl." And he's like, "Yeah. Fucking, I'm big time."

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: And she says, "No charge right." He ends up staying there the night 'cause he owns the place, right? So, he's staying there the night, and he just wants to sell this place as quickly as possible. He's gotta find the lawyer who's called him in the first place, who turns out to be the fiancé to Sophia. And he sets to say, "Look- Set me up a meeting. Anyone that wants to buy this, like I'm ready to, to get the fuck

Sidey: out. He'll do- The guy's

Cris: Italian, right? So he's like, "Oh, my friend, this is Italy. Tomorrow I'll bring you the paperwork. It's okay."

Sidey: He, he kind of goes into the kitchen, doesn't he? And they're like, "Well, just a bit of that and a bit of this." You know, everything with feel, not like he, he would have like the... everything- Spices ... measured to the gram, you know, the certain... They're like, "Ah, I think it needs a bit of this, bit of that."

Dan: Dishes aren't done. He can't walk past the kitchen without giving it a deep clean just to make it the most perfect sandwich that you've ever seen just for

Reegs: himself. What, better than John Fabro

Cris: pesto himself. He cuts the salami. I-

Reegs: Table. Yeah,

Sidey: We'll get into that.

Cris: that. He makes like... The, the sandwich to, in fairness to him, looked really good because, you know, he's like, there's pine nuts, there's fresh basil, there's you know, salt, pepper. He does it- All

Dan: the ingredients are

Cris: does everything just like that. And and then he goes outside to sit on the thing to eat the sandwich. Sophia goes to speak to him, doesn't even eat the fucking sandwich.

Reegs: Yeah. And

Cris: He goes back to sleep, and in the morning he's just like, "Oh."

Dan: Well, they have a bit of an argument where she's saying, my home," it, it all kicks off basically

Sidey: because doesn't she say... Because where they have that moment, that's where his dad would go and sit with a glass- Yeah ... of wine, and he's still being a bit of a prick about his dad. And then he realizes then that she is the girl he knew when he used to go

Dan: No, well, that's a little

Cris: realize yet that he- they're talking about a wedding. That he wakes up the next morning, he's like, "Oh, there's gonna be an event." She's like, "Yeah, yeah. There's gonna be a wedding."

Sidey: Oh, he sees the food, he's like, "We can't

Cris: He's like, "You're serving that to people?"

Reegs: Mm.

Sidey: It did look shite,

Dan: He goes, "What? It's a sl- it's a fucking wedding." Like, you know,

Sidey: It's a... Like it's probably tasty 'cause it's still Italian. They, they know how to cook, but it's a bog pasta. Yeah. It's like it's not banquet food or wedding food or, you

Dan: know, This is fine for like, you know,

Sidey: It's fine for lunch, but this is not wedding

Dan: box of lunch ... but this isn't like-

Reegs: Yeah, so how does he turn it

Dan: and so, he, he's kinda just... She's stormed off at this point kind of insulted by it, and he's Like,

Cris: Because she kinda turns around, it's like there's no budget for fancy food. You don't have... And he's like, "Well, you have the best plants there, tomatoes and all that. You have the olives, you got this." She's like, "We don't have people to pay to cook. We got this guy and me, and that's it. There's no other, no one else." And then he meets the lawyer and some other guy from the south of Italy who found the buyer in that evening, and he, they kinda have a chat about what can potentially happen. And the guy makes an offer. He's like, the lawyer says when it was valued, the Castel di Stonchi, it was valued at 700 grand. The guy-

Sidey: I'd pay 700 grand for that. Yeah. It looks

Cris: amazing. Yeah. But the, the, the Italian guy's like, "I'll give you 500." Mm. And Pio dal, kind of the ego, right? He ch- kind of goes, "Well, what if I cook for this wedding, and if everything is done the right way, you give me 900?"

Reegs: Okay.

Dan: And if it's not done, 500.

Cris: You get it for five he

Dan: I'm telling you, this place can be amazing. I'll show you what it can be, the potential of it. And he goes, "All right.

Reegs: So basically it's professional pride. I'll

Dan: So he gets his professional pride. So he's invited to the, to the wedding. And then

Sidey: never really see what he cooks, though.

Dan: He didn't cook, though. No. He, then he finds

Sidey: going, "Ooh, it's nice," but you never actually see-

Cris: No, you see them making the sauces and all that, but it doesn't really show you what they're actually cooking. We see the wild boar,

Sidey: Yeah, they go hunting. Yeah.

Cris: we see the wild pig, and you kinda get to see him and her becoming closer

Sidey: they do connect, and he does, he does then realize that he has known her when they were kids, and they have a connection from way back when And he's- ... five

Dan: and six or seven or eight or

Sidey: something ... you can see where it's going, even though, you, 'cause, it, it turn- sh- she realizes that it's her wedding. She's getting married to Pino, who is the- Lawyer ... lawyer brokering the kind of sale, and then h- you can see he's, he has g- he's like, "Oh, actually, I really fancy her." 'Cause she's fucking smoking hot, right?

Cris: Especially com- compared to

Sidey: y- yeah, he's like a, he looks like a potato. And he kind of spins her a bit of y- sh... He's obviously reconnecting with, like, w- what he, you know, this sort of more rustic and hands-on approach to cooking and- Yeah what's around you and cooking with the seasons and all that. And and he kind of spins her this yarn and all that sort of stuff, and then late- so they, they do reconnect.

Cris: They make the risotto. They-- she gives him his old man's recipes- Yeah ... and stuff like that. They make some risotto, and they have a laugh and-

Dan: She's, she's... Considering she's getting married in a few days- Yeah

Reegs: she's- Yeah

Dan: a lot of time with him. They're on the back of the bike. She's holding onto him. She's going dancing, learning how to

Sidey: That's one of the ways they show you the transition, though, 'cause at first, the, she's on the back of the moped, and she's, like, a little bit stand off-y. And later then, a bit later on, she's all hugging him, and they're laughing.

Reegs: And is she shown to be having problems with her current partner or? No, not at all. No, this just comes out

Sidey: says, she, I don't know if it's after they, 'cause they do kiss or whatever, but she says... Oh, no, it is after, 'cause they fuck, right? So they fuck. The night before the wedding, they fuck. He fingers her, and they fuck. Right.

Dan: Well, we don't see them fuck. We just see them kiss.

Sidey: yeah, but they do definitely. And he says, then the next day she's like, "Oh just wanted to say," 'cause he goes to see her when she's in her wedding dress. She's like, looks really hot, and she says, "Oh, Pino said something about you-

Dan: Selling this

Sidey: you said you were gonna sell it, and, you know, all that stuff you said and all the sort of romantic stuff that's going on was a load of bollocks, and you're just here to transact." And he's like, "Well-" Yeah.

Dan: I d- I did

Sidey: Yes and no.

Dan: Yes and no ... because she thinks that she's doing the, he's doing all the food for her, like- Yeah you know, and to make it be- actually he's doing

Reegs: doing it for- It's just for his...

Sidey: It's just for his, yeah And, and probably in his head

Reegs: his 900 grand

Sidey: that, and he's also doing it so he can just flog it. But he, this is the thing with the film, I think where it, where it sort of fails a little bit y- you don't really s- you can't really feel that conflict. And That, so they do, they, so she's fucked someone else on her wedding night. Well, the night before. And then when it comes to the wedding, he's just doing the catering and then at, at the actual ceremony, you know, the guy's like, "Do you..." And he's like, "Yeah, yeah." And then it goes to her, he's like, "And do you take..." And she goes,

Dan: Massive

Sidey: she just pauses for ages, and he's like, "My love," you know. And sh- and she goes, "Yeah, yeah, yeah." And you're like, afterwards you'd be like, "What the fuck was that?"

Reegs: that? Yeah.

Sidey: He never says it to her. And then he's, and then this guy Pino's saying to,

Cris: theo

Sidey: Theo Dahl. He's like, "Well, You know, you've done the cooking now. It's amazing. Come and join us. Yeah, I'd be really, I really want you to come." And he's like, "Oh, it's awkward 'cause he's fucked your wife like the night before." And he's like, "Oh, I don't know. I just, I need to clean up the kitchen." Like you were saying, there's no way that motherfucker's cleaning up the kitchen. And he's like, "No, come on. It'd really mean a lot for us. You know, these are like important memories. I really want you to come and have

Dan: a-" He's a nice guy, Pino. Yeah, he's- Like the

Sidey: he's obviously oblivious about what's going on. And he, I think he... Does he stay for a little bit? But he

Cris: drinks from the bottle. You can see drinking wine from the bottle.

Sidey: then- And his business partner randomly turns up. Yeah. The one who's completely done over in Denmark.

Dan: And he gets absolutely wasted and,

Reegs: Sits in the cock chair

Dan: no, and then makes

Cris: speech. Has a speech like a-

Dan: a really weird speech about everyone's so nice apart from her. She's not that nice, and she doesn't pretend. Like, and then goes and throws himself in the pool where one of the guys-

Cris: One of the chefs, yeah

Dan: the chefs, the helpers kinda digs him out, and he wakes up in the next morning with a massive hangover. And

Cris: And breaks his old man's statue

Dan: Yeah, it's a, it's a done deal. He break...

Sidey: the statue out front. Oh, yeah. That, been that, that sort of thing going on with the statue, yeah.

Dan: Yeah. There's a statue out front where he always kind of just, like, slags off because it's his old man has said, like, "Extraordinary is you-"

Cris: As everyone else.

Dan: everyone else as everyone else. And he's like, he just can't understand the, any positive sentiment from that because he doesn't like it. And, and smashes that to pieces. And then goes back, we see him back in Denmark, and he's back in his kitchen where he started, and it looks absolutely just bleak and, and cold and

Cris: But you can see the shift. Yeah, sterile. But you can see the shift in him because whereas before he would look at one of the girls and he would be like, "Oh, gloves." And then he would be... Someone would be like, "Oh, I've tried this off the menu." And he'd be like, "Don't get any fucking ideas. You do what I say."

Sidey: it's my menu.

Cris: Yeah. Whereas this time he kinda goes to the guy, tastes the thing, and he's like, "Oh yeah, the honey was great idea. Keep it like that." He goes to the girl, and she's like, "Oh I've, I've tried this. Is this okay?" And he's like, "Pour a bit more. Just do what your feeling tells you," rather than is this enough wine

Sidey: 250 mils of blah. You know what I mean? He's- now he's like- It's 10 deciliters ... it's all about the feel. But he's obviously he's, he's

Dan: Tuscany has released something in his in his cooking bloods

Reegs: Yes, he's unblocked. Which allows

Dan: him to be

Cris: you get the thing, the, the-- his business partner, the woman comes in, and she's like: "Well, the Italians send the money. The money's in the bank." And then you see him going to the young la- the young guy with the, with the million.

Reegs: sold- The 900 grand or

Dan: sold it. Yeah, he sold the place. The the guy loved the event. He loved the food and everything. He saw the

Reegs: up the big money

Dan: So he paid out the big money. Less than a week later, he's back there in Tuscany,

Sidey: the guy, the guy rolls

Dan: Do-

Sidey: on the deal so easily

Dan: so easily ...doing, the, the deal. He's giving him 1.5 million back

Sidey: He goes, back to- To try ... he says to the guy ... the guy's already made-

Dan: He made like 5, 600

Sidey: made 400 grand. But he says to the guy, "Listen, I've like fucked it in the ear here. I, I, I wanna go back on the deal. I will give you a mill and a half." And the guy's like, "Yeah, sounds I like money and I also don't want to- Stand in the way ... stand in the way of family, family tradition- Tradition ... or, you know,

Dan: Or, you know 'Cause it was his-

Sidey: It's, his business. it's it's a

Dan: long standing ... Pino, Pino's the one that's brokering the deal, and as soon as he sees Theo Dahl, he punches him in the face- Yeah ... because she's come clean and said, "Look-" "I fucked him." She's already left him. And she

Reegs: she

Cris: left him already.

Dan: But he's, he's a lawyer, so he still sticks around for

Sidey: she's left town as well, hasn't she? Yeah. Yeah.

Dan: And you know, he's not gonna say goodbye to the money, so he- Yeah ... he's he's a lawyer, so he's still brokering the deal, and they're both wet 'cause they go into the pool fighting they have to get split up. But he then takes the business over, and he brings his crew of very expensive Danish,

Sidey: yeah, they all just fucked Denmark off ... chefs over from Denmark Everyone's like, "Oh, Denmark's a hell hole. We need to go and live in Tuscany."

Dan: And they're, you know, instead of charging 700 pounds a, a meal and a head over there, they're charging probably

Sidey: It's probably like pay what you, pay what you feel

Dan: Which is what they pay when you pay with the Phil. Yeah, pay what

Sidey: you feel Everyone's doing it by feel now. Yeah.

Dan: now. Yeah. Nobody's... No, I don't understand how they can make the same money in that restaurant as they could do in Denmark.

Reegs: It didn't matter

Sidey: because he- Well, you know, these, these sort of empty-

Dan: a barbecue with tipping beer that he's drunk out the bottle-

Sidey: a whole hog, isn't it? And they're, they're just basting it and pouring stuff on it and-

Dan: I mean, I'm sure it would be if, if you like that kind of

Sidey: But it's all about Phil. And then she does turn up. Sophia does turn up.

Cris: Sophia does turn up. With a car. We're, we're supposed

Reegs: to be rooting for them

Dan: guessing... Well, it's made me think

Sidey: like- zero charisma of anyone in the entire film, so it's

Cris: Yeah. That's the... Yeah. Sorry. We'll get into it, but

Dan: It made me think, like, it was all a bit weird this because like the Pinot, the, the fiance and the

Sidey: seemed... There's, there's absolutely nothing wrong

Dan: with him He was

Sidey: He's sound. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: He was absolutely sound. He was

Sidey: just not being helped. He was smooth as fuck. He didn't do anything wrong to anyone in the film. And he gets completely shat on by a guy who looks like a potato.

Dan: Yeah. And he's he comes back and he's got the place. He's got a few quid of course. He's got the guy who was originally gonna give him 9 million euros to invest into the, the business with him. wrapped that bit up again, didn't he? Gave a, a few more quid for the fund I guess. So, you realize he's got some money to pay And it looks lovely. It's idyllic. It's Tuscany. There's green rolling hills and everything. The food you can almost smell through the, the shots on the camera they've got. And she comes back. She's started university. She always wanted to be a botanist. You assume

Sidey: takes up the botanist ...

Dan: he asks her if you know, if she's available to, to start the business partner doesn't really know service. And she says, "Yeah, sure." And they walk up the hill to the

Sidey: He says you can stay here 'cause they've got... It's, like, got rooms there

Dan: got rooms. You imagine that they

Sidey: see him, think of her

Dan: seen him They, they knew each other when they were kids. They had this hand-holding photograph. It was just hands and when he saw it on her wall

Cris: Danish.

Dan: It reminded of him one that was similar at his mum's house, and he couldn't believe that this was it. All his old memories that he suppressed because of his father not being a, a great guy to him and his mum.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: But that kind of wraps it all up, the film.

Reegs: Sounds all quite interesting theme-wise.

Dan: Well, I quite liked it. I, I know that it was an easy film to watch.

Sidey: Another 90 minutes.

Dan: it was, it was a it was a short one. I actually chose it 'cause I thought it might be something me and the missus might sit down and watch together. Know you- But timing-

Reegs: spend 90 minutes with you

Dan: No. No, that's right. So, and timing didn't work out quite well enough for that, but it was a really easy film for me to watch. It wasn't anything, you

Sidey: an easy watch

Dan: That you felt you had to turn on my phone to, to get away from, you know, hide away. There was no high-stakes drama or anything really. It was obvious- It was ... when things were- Yeah ... where, where things were going with it. But it strangely kept me watching the whole way through, and you're right. There, there wasn't, like, amazing acting or cast in it that you... Or you're really rooting for any of the characters. But maybe it was just 'cause of the food. It was really kind

Sidey: interesting. They don't really show you that much food,

Dan: and,

Sidey: But, but- They didn't take... The only full plates of food you see are his ones in-

Dan: The pig one didn't the feeling- At the beginning ... the feeling of the food. When they make those sandwiches, yeah. You

Cris: pretty much it. The rest of it is not, doesn't show you. And when they, they get the pig and they just kind of- Basically ... spray it with beer and that's it. It's not really...

Sidey: jealous. Did you, did you enjoy the film?

Cris: I kind of agree with Dan in terms of, i- I didn't have to look at my phone. I didn't do anything else. I just kinda watched it. It's a breeze. It's an hour and 20 minutes. It's, it's nice and simple. Or an hour and 25 or something like that. There's no surprises in it. It's hardly believable. You know, like, don't get me wrong, there is a possibility that a Michelin star chef would wanna move to Tuscany when he inherit- inherits a castle and that might fall in love. It, it's a possibility. But I've seen enough of these films to know that that's what is gonna happen. I worked with chefs, and I worked with high-end chefs. Especially I worked with a Norwegian guy that was very similar to this guy, only he was tall and skinny, not... He wasn't fat. At the Arts Club in London. And these people are not normal. They, that's not... He's not gonna... That guy is a germophobe. He's not gonna move to Tuscany and wash his hands with dirt in the fields with olives. That's where I found it really difficult to

Reegs: you didn't f- feel, feel it was very authentic? it authentic and

Cris: felt a little bit kind of everything was forced. Plus there was no chemistry between the girl and him. It, it didn't, it ... You

Reegs: That seems really d- difficult to understand that relationship and what

Cris: was- It was just so difficult to, to understand and to believe that in the space of three days or a week, the how- however long, e- even if it would've been a week, but by the way the film was, it was three days.

Sidey: It's really quick,

Cris: yeah. That he's got ... She, she's gonna rekindle the relationship that they only had when, until he was eight or nine. Mm. And then now in

Sidey: to her. As soon as they meet, he's a dick to her.

Cris: Yeah. And then all of a sudden, just like that, oh, he's got money. He's Theo Dahl. Oh my God, he's such an unbelievable chef, and I've heard this before that he cooks all "I love him because he cooks me food and he's a chef" and ... is that-

Sidey: He's never gonna be around because he's gonna work unsocial hours.

Reegs: Mm.

Cris: I don't know. It, it's just a bit, the, ... In that kind of ... And then he sells it, and then he gives them another 600 grand or 400 grand to, to buy it back, and I don't know. It's hard to believe. But as a, as a, as a breeze through and incredible scenery, all you could imagine but from filming in Tuscany and then going to Aarhus in, in Denmark where industrial and you see the cranes and the docks and all that.

Sidey: Docking.

Cris: You can, you can understand that, but it's a, it's a ... It's all right, but it wasn't

Dan: actually very... It wasn't well received critically, but was in the top five films in, like, 20, 30 countries on Netflix, you know. It was one of

Cris: those- Really?

Dan: Really? ... that seemed to really,

Sidey: the the, the sort of landscapes are quite attractive- Yeah, landscapes are- ... and she's very attractive

Dan: and I don't know whether it's cooking kind of films that... And romantic and- Well- ... you

Sidey: you

Dan: know, short

Sidey: as

Dan: as well

Sidey: my, my take on it is that it's very predictable. Like, you know right out the gate, oh, he's- Yeah ... he's a high-end chef.

Dan: Did you think though- And

Sidey: I don't mind that, but you need something in the movie to hang your hat on, and there's, like, nothing in it. It's so, it's so thin. Like, the plot is

Reegs: He doesn't sound very likable, so you don't sound like you're rooting for him very much

Sidey: there's nothing about him that you want him to succeed. You f- you actually end up feeling bad for the, for Pino, who gets fucking, like, jilted- Yeah ... in the end. Their relationship is so unbelievable because he has got... There's no spark, and he has no charisma. You just don't understand why she would jeopardize everything to wanna get with this guy. We watched... I think it was the second film we ever did. Another one called Chef. Yeah. And the plot of that is r- like, quite similar. And like, high-end chef who, like, loses it and, you know, finds himself who- go

Cris: a

Reegs: simple food

Sidey: And that plot is, again, that was fairly predictable as well, but you've got people like Jon Favreau and other people in it who, like, you like to watch, and you

Reegs: a lot of that was about the actual cooking and

Sidey: They show you stuff, and also they, they chucked in the, his relationship with his son. And so you, you did root for him 'cause you wanted him to do all that. There's, there's no one in it that you're like, "Oh, that's great," you know? And- don't... What- Yeah.

Dan: w-watching

Sidey: the camera points at all the people correctly, and everyone remembers their lines, and-

Dan: They only get together- All that stuff right at the end, and I didn't think at one point she was gonna go through with the wedding. I thought that Pino might have been a bit more of an asshole to give him a bit more of an excuse to- Yeah ... make that romance work a little bit. But the film doesn't. It just says, "Well, he's an asshole, and she's a bitch, and actually they're gonna end up together." Is he an asshole? Well, yeah, he is. He's definitely been an asshole, but he's he's... You know, I suppose the film gives him an excuse in

Cris: It's- With

Sidey: of a mummy's boy. He has to keep going back to his mum for advice as well. You're like, "Be a fucking grown man, for fuck's

Dan: well. He's a fucking great boss. Yeah. And she says to him, "Look, takes two to tango. It's not just your father,"

Sidey: And then he has a... He does have a flashback about his dad where he, he remembers his dad differently, doesn't he? With his

Cris: Yeah, when they play in the pool

Sidey: was it all imagined that his dad wasn't actually

Dan: Yeah. And, and so, you know, the, the tricks that-

Sidey: Maybe he's just a complete sociopath

Dan: on. But she also- Sure ... maybe she... You see her kiss him when he was very, very young on the cheek, and he's so pleased with himself, and she's run off. And maybe it was like a first love kind of thing. She's never lived with anyone else. She's Romani and,

Sidey: Oh, she put a curse on him

Dan: never had

Reegs: Could have been in last week's top five gypsies

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: have been in love with the first gypsy she met. So there was, it was... I didn't see l- like the, the romance quite going the way that it did. So it wasn't completely plot obvious in that regard.

Sidey: Well, it was ob- To me, it was obvious that that's what they were gonna do. It wasn't obvious as to why they would actually like each other.

Dan: No, but you know, I mean-

Sidey: But it's a strong recommend.

Dan: Yeah. It's, it's it's something you should check out

Sidey: Strong week two two incredible movies

Dan: They have grown

Cris: both of them were Scandinavian,

Reegs: right? Yeah. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Johan Hexum and this

Cris: And Theo. Yeah. Nice

Dan: So, it would've been my nominations this week, but I-

Sidey: to Reeves ... left it this

Dan: week, so I suppose we're gonna flip reverse it

Sidey: Yeah, back

Reegs: It'll flip, Mo. All right, I'll come up with something.

Dan: Okay. Well, Dan's gone

Cris: Not over there then.

Sidey: Sly's signing out.

Reegs: And Reegs has left the building Tin tin tin tin