England & The Brothers Grimsby

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Welcome to Bad Dad's Film Review, the podcast to entertainment as VAR is to pfft entertainment. This week sees the triumphant return of Peter as he sets off exploring England in the top five England, a place so preoccup preoccupied with what it used to be that it's entirely forgotten to notice what it currently is, which is to say considerably worse. We'll be serving up more misplaced national pride than a tabloid headline, and more things done confidently and badly than the entire history of British dentistry. Our main feature is Grimsby, aka the Brothers Grimsby in the US, in which Sasha Baron Cohen plays a football hooligan, who reunites with his MI6 spy brother to save the world, a task which, of course, requires both of them to hide inside an elephant's vagina, while it is enthusiastically attended to by every other packaderm in the enclosure. It's exactly as classy as that description makes it sound, and possibly even less so, but it did make me laugh more than once, which at this point is my only critical standard. And the Football Association has charged this podcast with abusive and or insulting language, spoilers, and bringing the game into disrepute. We're entering guilty pleas across the board and waving our right to appeal. So with that said and done, let's meet this week's back four of disappointment, not starting with Dan. Unfortunately, he's binned us off to have dinner with his mum, which we've all done to be fair. It's a pity because he is so old he actually remembers when England last won something, and whose zero fucks policy has now outla out lasted nineteen prime ministers. Commiserations to you, Keir, I'm sure you're almost certainly listening. So who do we have? Well, of course, this Radiant Chris, who approaches every film with the open-mindedness of a man reading a parking ticket. Chris hates cinema on principle and needs someone set a light and left to run around screaming before he'll call it ninety minutes well spent.

SPEAKER_00 1:55

Exactly.

SPEAKER_04 1:56

After several years on the bench, Peter returns, and with this many children, he could now field a five-aside team, which I'll admit is the single most obvious joke going, but it's a million degrees, and there's no added time available to find a better one, so everyone will just have to deal with it. And going down in the box for the third time this week, the man who took one from the front and one from behind simultaneously, and still the ref wouldn't blow him for it. It's sidey. Hello. And then there's me, Regs. Hello. Hello.

SPEAKER_02 2:22

Anyone been watching anything good this week?

SPEAKER_04 2:25

New anything new? Anything exciting? The only thing I have, it's not really this week, but Widow Spay on Apple TV is absolutely phenomenal. Absolute banger. Who's in that? It's got a load of character actors like Stephen Root, who plays in Barry, he's the handler. Right. He's really good that guy. A load of brilliant character actors like that. A woman who looks just like Shelley Duval, Matthew Reese, he's brilliant in it. It's just really, really good. Like comedy and horror, and sometimes both at the same time, and it's just great. Might like your sex life.

SPEAKER_05 2:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:56

Mostly horror. Pete, you've watched a million things, no doubt since we lost. Should I cover all of them all? No, no, exactly.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

The only thing I've watched that's probably noteworthy in my enormous hiatus is I did start with Peaky Blinders. Oh, okay. Did the first season and two episodes of the second season. Yes, it's just that it's something that the missus and I jointly watching. You've not watched it before. No, no, okay. I haven't seen it before. I watched the film though. I haven't seen the film. It's so fucking hot in that gorgeous. Yeah. It's just like completely gorgeous.

SPEAKER_02 3:29

So near Kov? Huh? Is it sort of near Kov? Yeah, yeah, it's Birmingham, sorry.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

It's very 20 minutes up 20 minutes up the road, yeah. Weirdly, there's a there's a link between the Peaky Blinders and Grimsby. That I've just that's just dawned on me, but we'll cover that. I think when we do the review. It's it's it's definitely very, very watchable. It's not the like let's all lose their mind let's all lose our minds, like people sort of said it was, like everyone is about messy during the World Cup every time he fucking ties his shoelaces up or something. So yeah, that's that's the only thing. And and the homework for this week. That's that's all I've done in the last eight months. What about you, Christian?

SPEAKER_00 4:09

I've not watched anything. I barely I'm gonna say again, you're working too hard. That's it. From the first of July, no more evening jobs, nothing. I'm not working events, I'm not working weddings, I'm not working restaurants, I'm not working bars, nothing. The summer until probably November when it's close to Christmas and I'm gonna make some more money to just kind of go on a well, I need money for Thailand and or for all the scenery and for all the you know nice restaurants that we're gonna go to.

SPEAKER_04 4:34

Pretty boy like you, I can find a way to make some money.

SPEAKER_02 4:37

There is a bad dad, effectively it is a bad dad at this moment. Thailand trip happening, isn't there?

SPEAKER_00 4:41

There is, yes.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

Well, Pete refuses to commit. Still working on Riggs.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

You're still working on me. And we we've got the website though. So if anyone wants to support us through that for our trip to Thailand. What is it? Sorry, sorry, what is the website again? Universe.baddadsfilm.com. Universe.baddadsfilm.com. And you've got all the details there. You can give us a coffee if you want to. Yeah. Or singer or chang. Yeah. Depending on what the preference is. Maybe a tiger. Yeah. If that's possible. I guess.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Are you doing a crowdfunding for the tiger?

SPEAKER_00 5:16

No, it's just then I might be able to commit. There is a possibility if if enough people contribute, but it's more to visit the website, see what you like. It's it's been uh curated by Cide N million bots. These mics, we could take these to Tyler.

SPEAKER_02 5:30

We could we could record pause while we're out there.

SPEAKER_01 5:33

Yeah. So we can claim it on expenses. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 5:36

And make a tax deduction. I like the sound of it.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

There's also another potential most of the bad dads or yeah, I'm what's what's the word? A quorum of bad dads participants, which is our road trip next year we're planning. Cricket. Which will take in the ashes, maybe. The New Forest, a day at the cricket. And then Berth Brighton.

SPEAKER_02 5:57

Yeah. For sex. But ma'am.

SPEAKER_01 5:58

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. I'm I'm open to yeah offers. Yeah, you don't want to be like hemmed into one too early. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:10

Although it is impressive, the one you're doing. Yeah, yeah. I watch like the World Cup does obviously like dominate because my missus likes to watch it as well. So but we did watch two episodes of The Pit last night, so when you got four. Oh yeah, you love that. It's really fucking good. But I have also gone down a rabbit hole and become completely obsessed with it's the Marco Pierre White BBC Maestro series, which you can watch on YouTube. It's fucking incredible. So it's obviously like latter-day Marco Pierre White teaching you how to like boil a potato or you know make food things. But it also feels like you're being given life lessons whilst being potentially bollocked at the same time while he repeats the same slogans over and over again.

SPEAKER_04 6:56

And I think I saw one of these. Does he make stoner food in it or something? One of them.

SPEAKER_02 7:00

Well, he'll like show you how to make chips, or then he'll do something sort of extravagant like avocado caviar, or then he'll make like a lasagna, but you know, don't try and it he just repeats the same thing. It's really funny because the comment section is fucking brilliant. So I've I'll come in and my missus my missile walking the room and she's like, Are you fucking watching this again? I've done hours and hours of it, it's fucking brilliant. And then I then I've like carried on with it. So there's a series from when he was 27 and he was had three Michelin stars.

SPEAKER_04 7:33

27? Yeah, he was the youngest ever to have three stars.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

This is when Ramsay worked for him, you know. There was the famous thing that he made Ramsay cry when he was on the line and all that of what it was like, you know, back in the day, because he's like half Italian, half Yorkshire, which is like quite a common thing. Yeah. Um he was like a bit of a rock star back in the day, but now he's sort of like the wise old man. It's fucking intimidating even when you're watching him record it. It's like quite funny. So I've been watching a lot of that and then I've watched the homework. So yeah, that all that good stuff. Should we crack on with our top five England? New England? Yeah. Come on. Top five England in any way you want to interpret that. Pete's your thing, and you've done nothing.

SPEAKER_01 8:17

So I've done I did, I did absolutely I didn't have time. I ran out of time to prepare. Have you thought about anything whilst you're sitting here? Well, like Riggs, I think, sort of like trick the You can go as abstract as you like. The only thing I can think of is is like I guess like stereotypes in in film, not mostly American film, which is things like food like the typically English, like bad teeth and bad food. Yeah. And the English are all villains. Well, that can be applicable to a lot of countries, though. Right, but I think more so I think the you know the The food and the tea thing that definitely did the Yangs thing that's what we can quickly touch. I suppose I'm not English. I've thought about, especially with food, is that I I it was only this year that I I heard the claim from you, Chris, that the English are obsessed with mayonnaise, which I've I've said the Belgian Dutch, but also the brids. Yeah, but also as a condiment, I'd say it's probably come like third or fourth in my entire lifetime. I had so much ketchup as a kid that I'm kind of off ketchup. Yeah, same. Brown sauce is it for the win. And then I'd say Saratha has probably overtaken mayo in in the last few years.

SPEAKER_04 9:21

Mayo with cheese, mayo with cheese. Yeah, I've got to do it. I've stopped me like trying to be so like mayo bad.

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Chris, go. In my defense, the reason why I say that is because I fucking hate mayonnaise. And I honestly I did I I don't think I detest anything in my life as much as detest mayonnaise, because the reason being that my mum used to make mayonnaise at home when I was a kid. Because yeah, but we would have it with they they do have you ever seen a Russian potato salad? And they do a tongue salad, and they do back home they yeah, like the the beef and the pork tongue, they chop it and they mix it with mayonnaise and gherkins, and it's like a it's almost like a spread. It's amazing. But forget about that. There's a thing, there's like a Romanian version of the potato Russian salad, anyway, all that. But for me, the the why I was coming to that is if you ever go to supermarket, you can go from Waitros to Saints Breed to Lidl to Tesco to the Cope to anything. And you buy a meal deal or a sandwich, it will always have mayonnaise. A hundred percent of the sandwiches, a hundred percent of them have mayonnaise in them. If it's a human mustard, there's mayonnaise in it. There will be 10% of it, of the whole saucy composition, but there's gonna be mayonnaise in it. If you want crest and egg, if you want ham and cheese, if you anything like that.

SPEAKER_04 10:38

So you as a person who dislikes mayonnaise, you're trapped in a sort of hell of British people's making.

SPEAKER_00 10:43

It's also because for whatever reason, I don't have a problem with oil, I don't have a problem with eggs in their own, I don't have a problem with mustard or mustard seeds. As they as their own individual thing, if they come to mayonnaise, it's bombs in my stomach. I turn into peat.

SPEAKER_04 10:56

Well, there you go. And my liar about I did not realise mayonnaise was so quintessentially British. I had the teeth and the self-deprecation and the shame about empire and all that stuff, but I make my own sandwiches when I'm organised.

SPEAKER_02 11:10

Oh fuck, I've not done it for tomorrow. But I make I'll try and make my own sandwiches for work because when you go out and you buy like a sandwich and it's fairly average, unless I go to Down that it's good, you're just hemorrhaging money, which I could be spending on records. So I'll make my own sandwich, but I'll do like say if it's like cheese and ham, I will mayonnaise it.

SPEAKER_05 11:27

Will you?

SPEAKER_02 11:27

But then I will also then when I eat it, put a load of sriracha on every bite, not eat it. But I like the double sauce.

SPEAKER_01 11:33

I don't uh yeah, that's so that's why I've said that. I'll tell you what, and and it pains me to say this, French mayonnaise, like Dijonese, that that's the bomb. That is the bomb.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Well they've invented it, right?

SPEAKER_01 11:45

So you would expect dipping dipping uh, you know, like even fucking Mary Rose or seafood sauce or whatever it's called can fuck off when you've got some prawns or seafood and you're dipping it in. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 11:58

I feel like we've gone completely off topic here, but yeah, I did not realise we would spend so long talking about mayonnaise, otherwise you've just gotta do more research on how to do that. Make sure you got an England for us? I've got Faulty Towers. Yeah. I think it's very English. It deals with a lot of English themes, repressed rage, class, uh, a reaction to foreigners, you know, loads of stuff. It was obviously written by John Cleese and his wife, Connie Booth. His wife at the time, I think. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:27

Isn't he quite complicated, John Cleese? It seems to not get on with anyone. I see I keep seeing it. Yeah, is that a book? It's a series of sitcoms.

SPEAKER_00 12:35

It was a sitcom in the late 70s. Just 12 episodes. It was just thinking of like alright, no, sorry, I'll I'll tell you when it's my turn.

SPEAKER_04 12:42

It's about it. Cleese plays a guy called Basil Faulty, runs a hotel in Torquay, and it's the kind of hotel where everything that can go wrong does go wrong.

SPEAKER_05 12:50

Okay.

SPEAKER_04 12:50

And it's very farcical, but you know, at the centre of it is him in his just barely suppressed rage all the time at the incompetence around him. It's just brilliant.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

It's brilliant. One of the main like themes in it is that he's got this like completely incompetent Spanish like head waiter guy, Manuel, that's come over. It was Andrew Sachs, wasn't it? It was like an English guy playing this. He got a Spanish guy.

SPEAKER_04 13:15

It was his granddaughter. Yeah, Russell Brandon. He got Russell Brandon, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

Yeah, yeah. But there's there's a whole like raft of gags that come out of that, down to like, you know, miscommunication and and misunderstandings and stuff, just to this guy's total like ineptitude with you know, he's always like dropping things on the customers and so on, but we're probably not giving this thing as much justice as it deserves.

SPEAKER_04 13:40

I think of the don't mention the war scene just because it left such a big Well he had some Germans come and stay in his hotel.

SPEAKER_01 13:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 13:48

And he's obviously And whipping the car with the tree and all that. Yeah, it's it's brilliant. It's absolutely brilliant. He he killed it off at its peak as well. Yeah, it's all right. That'll do.

SPEAKER_04 14:02

I know you said about him being complicated. I think I see I follow Eric Idle on Exit. Well, no, he do you know what they keep they'd ask him about John Cleese and he's like the guy's eighty years old, like, you know, just remember him for what he did.

SPEAKER_01 14:17

He lives in America, John Cleese, doesn't he? And I think it's massively anti the pol like the current pol politics of America.

SPEAKER_04 14:25

Yeah, but he's also a bit I think he said some pretty sort of nasty.

SPEAKER_02 14:30

Every now and then I see on social media a repost of him doing the eulogy for Oh yeah yeah, the yeah, Graham Chapman. Graham Chapman. And when he says fucking the church, yeah, it's really fucking funny. Like it's genuinely like shocking because no one's expecting it. And the whole congregation is like like pissing themselves laughing, yeah. It's funny. I think that Morris dancing feels very English. Yeah. Done a bit of Morris dancing in my time. Have you done it? Have you really? Yeah, at St George's School. Yeah, we did a bit of Morris dancing. What does that mean? It's it's a type of weird. So you dress up in this kind of white gear with bells attached to ribbons like tied round your I think your ankles and your wrists, and you have a stick and you dance. It's a sort of like pagan ritual, though.

SPEAKER_04 15:20

Yeah, it's like it's almost like line dancing. You sort of wear Lederhosen, don't you?

SPEAKER_02 15:24

No, you're wearing almost like a sort of like white trousers, like cricket, you're like cricket outfit, really. You're a jumping. Well, okay. And then you sort of dance in a line and then you whack this stick and it goes on. And it made me think of I for some reason I think I remember it in hot fuzz, but I don't know if that actually is actually true or not. And I'm fairly certain there's some in the Wicker Man.

SPEAKER_04 15:44

Is it Midsummer as well?

SPEAKER_02 15:46

But that's not England at all. And I was thinking about Midsummer, and that's not England either. Yeah. But I was thinking a lot about Morris dancing. They do it. Especially as I've done it.

SPEAKER_04 15:55

They do it down at Hampton.

SPEAKER_02 15:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 15:56

I've seen them do it. You're mostly watching to see if somebody gets hurt, aren't you?

SPEAKER_02 16:00

Yeah, because you dance around sides and then you whack it's a big long like wooden thing. It's like a synchronized dancing all in sync and then you dance around a bit and you whack. I think they're like obviously done it. When you it looks and it is so biff, but it is this kind of pagan ritual, which I think there's like an actual element of darkness, and so therefore I'm cool.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

You're making it sound way more like edgy than it actually is biff.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Yeah, okay. Look, my first I'm gonna say the first room the first memory I have of England is obviously to do with football and is obviously to do with the World Cup, which is quite topical, and it's obviously to do with Italian 90. That's the first time because it was Italy. We only had a black and white TV, and it was just after the revolution. So we had a revolution in December 1989, and and six months later, the World Cup. Romania was was also there, but we got I think knocked out by Cameroon or by Ireland on penalties. O'Leary, I think. Oh, you see, why the why is O'Leary taking penalty? Yeah, why is O'Leary taking the penalty? And he knocked us out. It's a Cameroon, was it? Yeah, uh no, but but Roger Miller, I think we we lost because if we would have beaten Cameroon, we would have got top of the group and something. But I remember Gascoyne and I remember Lineker because he was is it the time when was that when he shot himself in 1990?

SPEAKER_04 17:20

Lineker.

SPEAKER_00 17:21

Was it shit? Was it 19 or 86? I'm pretty sure it was 1990. I think you're right. I'm pretty sure it was 1990 because it was it was the like as kids. I was only five, right? So it was for us kids was ha ha ha, you know, it's like and obviously whenever you go into the into the playground, everybody just started laughing that I was. Shitting themselves in the kind of thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's my first memory. He still scored in that game.

unknown 17:47

Did he?

SPEAKER_01 17:48

Yeah, because nobody wanted to get near him. Yeah. Oh shit, he passed. He told it, he told the story again recently on something, and he was saying, you know, he got he got subbed off, but obviously, because he'd shut himself and he and he was like basically trying to wipe it off his legs. He said it would rain, so at least the grass was wet, so he could do a bit, but then it because it was at Calliorese Ground. Yes. And he said that what he wanted to do was just like get immediately down the tunnel and at least have like a shower-blown shower, but like, you know, quick, quickly freshen up or whatever. But he got subbed off. And this was in the days where if you got subbed, you went to the dugout, you didn't go wet the nearest part. But he said every other ground in the world has got the tunnel between the dugouts at Calliory's ground on the other side of the pit. So he's had to go off, so he's had not had an opportunity to go in the shower, and then he sat on the bench afterwards and he just said uh slowly for the remainder of the game, everyone was just moving away from the show.

SPEAKER_05 18:40

Edging. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

So that's my first memory of England. Not necessarily a film or a place in England, but that's yeah, appeared on the on the black and white TV shows. Yeah, that and that was my f my first memory of of the country of England in my life, basically. So that can I take that? Yeah. For sure. Okay.

SPEAKER_01 18:59

Absolutely. Italian 90, what what a time to be alive. I've just I've just I've sort of one, and it's actually not anything English, but is it off topic? Dave England is one of the guys from Jackass, which is topical because I think it's this weekend that their final film is. I think I'm there. He's the one he's got one test here, isn't he? I don't know, you put it like, but he's he's the one. He's the one who does the shit, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, he's got one testy. He does stuff, I think it's him with the yellow snow cone. Yeah. Yeah. Pissing on a fucking load of ice and then having to eat it. He always does stuff to do with shit. Yeah. They always make it.

SPEAKER_02 19:37

Which is a little bit like the film, the start of the film. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:41

Yeah. Yeah. So Dave England was that came to it. But is anyone going to bother with the I feel like Jackass has kind of run its course or see it but still lol.

SPEAKER_04 19:50

I watched the last one not even that long ago. It was the last one that had the hand, the big hand.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 19:54

That's one of the funniest.

SPEAKER_01 19:56

It was so one of the funniest games. The giant high five or whatever it is. Like fucking KO. They go and get Dave England to get a tray of suits.

SPEAKER_05 20:06

The hand comes.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Bam McGuerry gets it really badly, doesn't it? Yeah. He's been fine ever since. Yeah. No, he's he's he's he's skateboarding again. I seem to be skating, yeah. He looks like in a bad way. I think they're I don't know if he I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

He looks older than you. Yeah. He looks older than Dan. He might be older than me. They're all in their fifties.

SPEAKER_02 20:25

He looks older than Dan. No, he No. No, he's said he. No, he loaded. He looks in a bad way. He's still got beef with it, hasn't he, about the last film and stuff.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

I I think I I don't know. I think they all wish him well and he seems to be in denial about how bad he is.

SPEAKER_04 20:39

Anyway. There is a sort of certain type of absurd satire that England does that I think is personified best by Chris Morris. He's all sort of crass and shocking, but with a kind of real moral integrity about it often as well. And he's just a guy I really, really like, had a really interesting career and produced a load of interesting stuff. He worked as a writer on Spitting Image, and then obviously was on the radio. He was a guitarist in a band and then went on the radio and eventually came up with On the Hour, which was on Radio 4. That was a and that in his writing team had Stuart Lee and Richard Herring. So another kind of exponents of that absurd satirism as well. And then he did The Day Today, which gave the world Alan Partridge via Steve Coogan. And then you had brass eye, seminal too. Absolutely amazing. Like I think Peter Geddon was the most complained about episode of TV ever. Didn't have a satirizing media frenzy.

SPEAKER_02 21:41

Didn't have a subliminal image slagging off Michael Gray, Channel Four Boys at the time, eh?

SPEAKER_04 21:46

Yeah. Um and and he did the radio shows Blue Jam, which spawned the TV series Jam, which was only okay, and then Nathan Barley, which I keep meaning to rewatch. I didn't like at the time, but maybe is growing. And then obviously. Been brilliant in films as well, Four Lions, and one I haven't seen recently ish, The Day Shall Come.

SPEAKER_01 22:06

Is that the Anna Kendrick one? Yeah. I haven't seen that one. He's brilliant in films, doesn't he? Write these films. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Directing and TV.

SPEAKER_04 22:12

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's made a few appearances there, a couple of appearances.

SPEAKER_02 22:16

He appears in Stuart Lee's comedy vehicle or comedy product.

SPEAKER_01 22:20

He does this sort of therapist. It's pretty cool. He he also, and I know it's not this definitely not his finest work, but he absolutely steals the show in the IT crowd as well. Yeah. He's in the first series of that, and then he just kills himself because like the basically the tax man, like, you know, the the he's he's been embezzling stuff and he just like walks over to the window and does a and does a Tom and fucking uh again Game of Thrones their name.

SPEAKER_03 22:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

From blonde people, I can't remember that. Lannister. Lannister, yeah, yeah. Like just kills himself and then it's Matt Berry that takes over that role as his son, isn't it?

SPEAKER_06 22:56

Father.

SPEAKER_03 22:59

So yeah, Chris Morris, he's English. Yeah. I hope. Or I don't know, it could be Welsh.

SPEAKER_01 23:04

Basically, all the best actors and comedians are English. Comedians for sure. Definitely comedians.

SPEAKER_02 23:10

What about some films that just have England in the title? Yes. This is England. We've seen that. We talked about that. The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill but Came Down a Mountain. Yeah. That hasn't got England in the title.

SPEAKER_04 23:21

Well, is it huge grant?

SPEAKER_02 23:24

He's really English as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 23:25

He is, and the rom coms that he did are so English as well. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:28

Yeah. Um The English Patient. Yeah. It's kind of set in the desert, but it's got English in the title. Yeah. And did done nine Oscars to therefore. I don't think I've seen it. I haven't seen it either. Must be good. An Englishman in New York. Movie and a song. Your mate, Sting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:44

He's alright, Sting. I'm here for him. And he was in a film. And he's a Geordie.

SPEAKER_02 23:49

He's a Geordie. He was in Y. Brighton Rock and Quadrafinia. Quadrafinia and June as well. And The Last King of Scotland. Oh wait, no.

SPEAKER_00 24:01

Oh, really?

SPEAKER_02 24:02

Christian?

SPEAKER_00 24:03

I'm gonna say I'm probably gonna say Guy Ritchie as a whole rather than rather than the fit. Because the there's I have to say I can't I've watched pretty much all of them and I can't really remember. The King Arthur one was probably a bit of a stinker that, and he had Beckham in it, so you know.

SPEAKER_04 24:25

Who swore blind about that? Was that Howie that used to love that movie?

SPEAKER_00 24:28

Somebody uh I know that that wasn't that wasn't good. I'm not gonna lie. I like Beckham in it. Yeah. And he's got bad teeth and a scar on his face, and he tries to get and to get the guy to to get the sword out of the rock, the Excalibur. But um all the films. And I used to have a competition with my brother who can recite more lines from Lockstock and Snatch. Like mi we would and that's I I studied English in school and Cartoon Network was probably the the first one that I would get, w which I think half of it was American English, it wasn't necessarily the British English, but after we've watched that, because I was already 15 when Snatch came out, so I think it was 98 when Lockstock was out two years, I think it was two years before. So I was what 13 or something like that. So I knew expressions and stuff, and I could recite like whole dialogues and Big Chris settles death for Harry and stuff like that. So I I knew not I couldn't really tell you off the top of my head now, but I knew how to say certain things from the film, and I would just have a competition with my brother, and then obviously the films after. And I really liked the the two Sherlock Holmes that it did, both of them in their own right, they were good films for me. The The Gentleman was good, the most of them really. Revolver. I still don't understand Revolver, no, but it was good though. I because it was so intriguing, and the the two the Andre 3000 from Outcast and the other guy, the the mafia guy that you never really know what they actually do. Or even if they're real. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And and and to an extent, Jason Statham would for once he didn't really beat people, he wasn't really a tough guy. He wasn't really archer from his north. He wasn't really like like in Lockstock and that where he was more of a clever guy. He was just like confused and alter-eagle and stuff like that. So I I'm gonna say Guy Richie as a as a whole. And there's m also a massive, massively famous photo of him and Madonna when they were together leaving a hotel in central London and they had a see-through bag and there was a strap on in his see-through bag. So I don't know who did who. Peg me. But one can only assume it's maybe they did each other. They were carrying it for a friend.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

More power to them.

SPEAKER_00 26:49

So on that note, he has to be up there.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

Just sort of a well, another another stereotype. Well, I think we've done I think we you guys have covered this, and I might have been there for some of it, is about accents as well, like the English accent it depicted in American. Well, it's ne it's never been worse than Dick Van Dyke. Never in in Mary Poppins, or I think a few people have ever read.

SPEAKER_04 27:11

Oh blame Mary Poppins. Don Fiedel in Oceans Eleven. They just fade.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

They fade out, don't they, across the films and just stop doing it. Yeah. And I th I think that apparently to like to Americans, and I guess like I could I could tell an American accent, not literally state by state, but I could tell a deep south accent from a Boston. From a you know, from a you know, California accent or whatever. But apparently there's no discernible difference to American people between they all sound the same.

SPEAKER_04 27:42

Yeah, yeah, apparently so.

SPEAKER_02 27:44

I think they would just go, we don't know what they're saying. They just won't understand. Or scouse. I was gonna say, yeah, yeah. Geordie to me, when you go to these places and you hear them, Geordie to me, like a proper Geordie wise, the most like hard to understand.

SPEAKER_04 27:56

I don't know, scouse is pretty long.

SPEAKER_02 28:00

Because there's loads of them here, and we play football against them, you can hear him. You can kind of swearing.

SPEAKER_03 28:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:04

And you get it on the football field, so you can kind of like understand most of what they're saying. Yeah. But the Geordies is fucking hardware.

SPEAKER_01 28:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

It is. And um Meatman.

SPEAKER_04 28:11

That was in Partridge. He had uh the character what was his name? I can't fucking remember it. Um you basically couldn't remember uh understand anything he was saying. It didn't get worse than that. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:24

But he's like a Shakespeare, you know, Royal Shakespeare company out today, guys. Amazing.

SPEAKER_01 28:28

But there's a there's also this the class as well. It's either everyone English is either an absolute like sort of down and out or completely upper class, like hello.

SPEAKER_04 28:40

And we're all absolutely obsessed about it and we write about it all the time and we talk about it like in our media class, you know.

SPEAKER_02 28:48

We do, so I did read today that there's gonna be a fourth Austin Powers film. Is it really? He's run out of ideas so he's gonna do another Austin Powers film because he's obviously does the old you know he's Canadian. Yeah, but he you know does that version of the the English Commonwealth of Riggs accent, blah blah and he does the bad teeth stereotype thing in there very much so yeah?

SPEAKER_04 29:09

Yeah, I haven't got a lot on my notes. Um I'm thinking about London black cabs though. Uh very popular. I'm pretty sure I've seen it.

SPEAKER_00 29:16

For two different genres of television.

SPEAKER_02 29:18

Go on. Fake taxi, yeah. Oh, I see, right.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

Which I can tell you the story that Han told us. On the his mom lives in uh a friend of ours whose mom lives in Spain, yeah. He went to visit recently, yeah, and she recently acquired a car, and on the back has a sticker on the back uh window which says fake taxi.

SPEAKER_02 29:40

Oh, there's one in my my road where I live. It's the guys on the end.

SPEAKER_00 29:42

He went to get take her car to go to whatever to the supermarket and he's like where did you get that car? She's like, Oh yeah, I just got it last week. It's nice, isn't it? And he goes smells funny. I'm not really sure what's going on there, mum, but okay. So go on, Sharon.

SPEAKER_01 29:57

Yeah. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. So yeah, sorry, sorry to interrupt. Just rear as a man, like as an aside, I've got exactly the same couch as UK Casting Couch.

SPEAKER_03 30:06

Exactly the same couch. I don't know what you mean.

SPEAKER_01 30:10

Yeah, I've never seen it. Did you get the part?

SPEAKER_04 30:14

Yeah, so black cabs I was thinking about by you know, they've I've definitely seen a movie or a TV series that they've been in. Oh loads. Just naming one off the top of your head's quite hard. I I think there was one in let's say Sherlock Holmes.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Yeah. Well, I think it was the the one of the those carriages rather than a black cab.

SPEAKER_04 30:32

Fine. Let's say the transporter.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

Definitely would have been, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 30:37

I'm I'm now I can vaguely picture a chase scene through the streets of London involving a black cab. And now I've made up that. Tom Cruise must have been in one.

SPEAKER_00 30:48

Yeah, Tom Christmas War in one, which I know is not. I've been in one. Well, chase. A black cab. Were you in a chase?

SPEAKER_01 30:56

No. Ah, I've been in a black one. I think it's been a black cab. Has anyone ever got in a taxi and said follow?

SPEAKER_05 31:02

No.

SPEAKER_01 31:03

No.

SPEAKER_00 31:03

That's weird. I actually know, I have been. I have been, because if it's 18 of you and you just get taxis from one nightclub to another. But you need a mini, but there's the first one that is no, but there's there's like back home, you know, that you've been to Bucharest, you know it's like the back of your hand. I remember the taxi driver because he was mental. Well, exactly. So then if it if it's 10 of you and you you're like, oh, just follow that one. Yeah. It wasn't following anyone, he was doing whatever he wanted, because he was fucked on gear. Yeah, but I I've said that, but not in the movie way of, oh, follow that car. It's more like follow these guys because we're going to the next place.

SPEAKER_02 31:38

Right. Good to do some quick music ones, new orders, world in motion was England's World. I think it was it wasn't England's official World Cup side. Johnny Barnes.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

I don't think it was. No.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Johnny Barnes.

SPEAKER_01 31:50

I remember John Barnes's unofficial World Cup side. Because you know they they all the players auditioned for the rap. I've heard that. The Peter Beer version. Yes. Have you heard the Peter Beer version? You know who Peter Barnes is. Of course I know. It's incredible. We have to play it later. It's incredible. In fact, so he's going to put it in here.

SPEAKER_02 32:05

No, he's not. English Rose by the Jam. England by the National. This is England by the Clash. Oh yeah. But my nomination is also musical one. It's PJ Harvey's Let England Shake. I don't know if you're familiar with that album. I don't know if I am, no. It's fucking great. It's really, really great. But say no more, just listen to it. It's fucking really great. And I love her. She's amazing. Really cool.

SPEAKER_01 32:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:27

So we're on noms. My nom is going to be quite stereotypical. I have to give a shout out to the transporter only because it's it's a British guy that kind of does all that, but it has to be James Bond. I know it's stereotypical, but it is for me is as a foreigner. That was the he's a gentleman, he tags all the women, he's smart, he's classy, he drives a fancy car throughout the years, was whatever cars, watch, gadgets, anything you want.

SPEAKER_04 32:54

This week's movie trades off of James Bond heavily, doesn't it?

SPEAKER_00 32:57

So yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:58

I'll I'll have that then. Yeah, I'm torn between either what is the the single greatest like comedy series of all time, which is Black Adder or mayonnaise, because that is really English. Yeah, Blackadder. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Black Black Adder. Probably I mean we it's probably the most quoted thing on the pod. Certainly episodes I've been in because it's unbelievable. Meaning Brilliant Breathe It, yeah. Yeah. Blackadder. It's the best thing ever.

SPEAKER_04 33:26

I'm going for in honour of the football theme tonight, I'm going for the impossible job, which was the 1994 documentary about Graham Taylor. Do I not like that? Do I not like that? Yeah. As Cooman smashed one in in Rotterdam into the top corner of that free kid. Should have been off. Impotent. Keep trying. Really. Just that was what and he was that footage of him just led to his demise, really, didn't it? And uh no, he'd already gone by the time the documentary came out, but he was just a figure of ridicule, really, wasn't he?

SPEAKER_01 33:59

Yeah, we yeah, and we've we've done that to many a manager. Fantasy Football League like gave him a real like a hiding hand in. That also was brilliant. Yeah. And something again, typically English. Yeah. There you go, the imposter.

SPEAKER_02 34:11

So we need another England, basically, in so many ways. Yeah. Let us know your nom.

SPEAKER_04 34:22

Peter, you inflicted Grimsby on us.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

Slash the brothers Grimsby. Slash the brothers. I had like deliberately avoided this in the past. I had seen this before. And then it became a thing because this was the movie that sort of got him cancelled a bit. Yeah, it's in because of Rebel Wilson. The set two with him and Rebel Wilson.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

Yeah. And what was that? It was like sexual harassment or something. He wasn't nice to her.

SPEAKER_04 34:45

I think he was degrading to her on set, is the allegation. Easily done. So I don't know. This is get the conceit out of the way. It was directed by well, it was written by Sasha Baron Cohen and his part writing partner Baynum, was it? Something like Peter Batum?

SPEAKER_02 35:00

Phil Johnston and Peter Baynum?

SPEAKER_04 35:01

Yeah. And directed by Louis Literier, who has some kind of form as a sort of fairly workman-like director who did things like The Transporter and Now You See Me and The Incredible Hulk and all that sort of stuff. So if somebody has kind of action, mid-range action chops, genuine action chops, and it stars Scott Atkins, who I really like. The Ukrainian Ben Affleck, as they call him in Boika.

unknown 35:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 35:30

You've seen the Undisputed movies, have you? All of them. Oh man, Undisputed Four is my my absolute favourite. Oh man, we should do an Undisputed movie. Right, so and Mark Strong, yeah. Playing sort of James Bond, ball James. Who do we get introduced to first? Well, we introduced to them Shagging.

SPEAKER_02 35:46

Yeah. That's right. That's the jackass sort of joke, isn't it? Because that's Shagg and they're really getting down to hot and sweat. I don't see nothing wrong. And they are like properly sweaty and she's grabbing him and blah blah blah. And then it the camera sort of zooms out and they're in a you know this fucking guy.

SPEAKER_04 36:02

This fucking guy.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

And they're in a shop buying a bed, testing out by shagging on it.

SPEAKER_04 36:07

Yeah. So that's the kind of thing we were getting. All good. Grab a mic.

SPEAKER_03 36:14

Oh, you are sorry.

SPEAKER_02 36:18

Yeah, and then he's carrying the mattress back through Berry. And you can see like Grimsby's not portrayed to be. It's basically at the beginning of this England, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 36:25

It's like a completely shitty rundown part of England.

SPEAKER_02 36:28

And he has the kids have to help him lift up the stairs, and there's a joke about smoking with the kids. So we're not smoking crack. Yeah. He's like, yeah, but you start on vaping.

SPEAKER_04 36:36

Yeah, yeah. He's got 11 children, is it? And one grandchild called Django Unchained.

SPEAKER_01 36:44

The oldest kid's called Skeletor. I love the first one is his son called Luke. Because he's got leukemia.

SPEAKER_04 36:52

Has a really very if we shave his head so we can get benefits. Yeah. He's basically a Liam Gallagher proxy that's got the hair and mutton chops. They literally do have sideburns. Yeah. We've talked, we've lamented, never on air, I don't think. So maybe now's the time, but we've been having a long discussion of the world. In the world. In the world.

SPEAKER_02 37:10

In general. Well, there's now all the younglings, they have the sort of alpaca hair, but it starts very high. But it's not like a fade, like what we do generally.

SPEAKER_01 37:21

It's just just the sideburns is what it is. You remember back in the we used to have wedges. Yeah. Yeah. Like a fancy bulk. I went undershave. Yeah. I went like the curtains with an undershave because I was cool. I even got tram lines in my undershave.

SPEAKER_04 37:35

Well, we're making a desperate appeal to bring back sideburns. Yeah. So there you go. Well, then we're going to meet Strong Mark. Yes. He plays Sebastian, he's MI6's most lethal. Really crazy action sequence, I thought it was.

SPEAKER_01 37:47

Well, it's it's only when you said that the director has like pro like previous with action film, like transporter and stuff like that. As I was watching it, I have seen this before, I was watching this again the other night. Yeah. I was like, this is a fucking really good action sequence.

SPEAKER_04 37:59

Well, the because it's from the first person point of view shots were done by Literia, but he bought on as a consultant Ilya Nashula, who was the guy who did Hardcore Henry, didn't we watch that pod, which was a movie made entirely from first person perspective, and that's he's done as his career. So again, another Russian action director who really knows his chops in this. And yeah, a really cool sequence from first person.

SPEAKER_02 38:22

He's sent in to retrieve someone, and yeah, there's a million, you know, shitty soldiers, foot soldiers he has to go through to get to the guy, and we see that all from the first person.

SPEAKER_04 38:31

And he's got Isla Fisher in his ear, Sasha Baron Cohen's wife at the time is now and Ian McShane feeding him instructions.

SPEAKER_01 38:40

He'll always be Lovejoy to me.

SPEAKER_02 38:41

He doesn't get to do much in this, unfortunately. No, he doesn't. No.

SPEAKER_01 38:44

It really could have been anyone. He prowls around the room quite a bit, but tonight. Yeah. A lot more than you bargain's.

SPEAKER_04 38:55

Not quite as horny as his wife, but there's a poisoning, isn't there, and the guy mentions, drops the name Rhonda George, which turns out to be Penelope Cruz. She's a f an actress and a philanthropist.

SPEAKER_02 39:07

Yeah, she is, yeah, her in part of her philanthropy, they believe that she is a she is a target to be executed at this bigger.

SPEAKER_01 39:20

Which is just to cure the world. All disease all diseases. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 39:23

That seems like a good idea to me in general, that. Yeah. Let's let's do it.

SPEAKER_01 39:28

Sounds amazing.

SPEAKER_00 39:28

Yeah. Does it happen?

SPEAKER_01 39:32

Well, so how what how we can actually so we kind of learn through the the early sequences and a bit of a hub.

SPEAKER_04 39:40

I was about to say you're going to miss something thematically important if you don't discuss it, which is Nobby putting a firework up his ass. Yeah. Because it ties into the climax of the movie.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

So basically they've been they are brothers and they've been separated at the ages of about 11 and 7, let's say, whatever the age are. I can't remember exactly what they are. Exactly. And so his whole life he has been pining to get his brother back.

SPEAKER_01 40:02

Yeah, he's built a shrine to his brother. He's kept his room exactly how it was, built a shrine to his brother.

SPEAKER_02 40:06

And he's been hunting him, trying to find him, you know, given this spiel that he's he's just left home and never come back, and blah blah blah. And someone just comes into the boozer one day and says, Oh, you know, we've your brother's gonna be here. And you're thinking, Well, how does he know that? Yeah, anyway, but for plot reasons he has to know that. But while he's in the pub, they're watching in England, so there's there's a World Cup going on. Right. And they're watching these England games.

SPEAKER_04 40:29

And I believe Raheem Sterling is actually in the movie instead of the game.

SPEAKER_02 40:31

Well, it is, it looks like Raheem Sterling, yeah. And whilst they're watching one of the English games in their local boozer, it's just like it's absolutely wild. It's like Johnny Vegas is there.

SPEAKER_03 40:41

Milky plays, he's another Milky, isn't he? He's called Milky Something. Phil Tomlinson?

SPEAKER_00 40:46

Oh yes, I think Ricky Tomlinson. Ricky Tomlinson, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:49

Yeah. And they're getting absolutely mad with it, and eventually like he sticks the firework up his ass, and then he falls over and it gets properly wedged up his ass, and they have to get it out, and that might become important later on. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:00

Um but someone's told he's told about, oh, your brother's gonna be at this event. So we know that these two things are lining up, that Mark Strong is the MI6 agent, is going to this event, and Nobby's going 'cause he thinks he's family's brother. And it doesn't take a genius to work out, especially if you've already seen the trailer or the movie before, that Mark Strong is, of course, his brother.

SPEAKER_05 41:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 41:19

So they're going to go to this event. Scott Atkins is going to turn up, sneak a machine, a sort of remote drony gun thing in a camera, in a video camera, into the event that's getting a speech done by Shlomo Khalidi, who's a Palestinian Jew who's in a wheelchair and HIV.

SPEAKER_02 41:41

It gets a rough trot in those movies.

SPEAKER_04 41:43

He really does. And there's going to be an assassination attempt, which Mark Strong is going to attempt to foil up in the rooftops. He kind of cottons onto what's going on. He's he's in a sort of position. The camera's a gun. The camera's in the gun, the camera's in the gun. He's got a bead on Scott Atkins, and then from out of nowhere comes Nobby, gives his brother a hug just as he's taking a shot, which means that Shlomo Khalidi gets a bullet, and in sort of slow motion, you see the blood, the AIDS-ridden blood going out into Daniel Radcliffe's mouth, giving him instant AIDS, according to the next day on the on the news, the first story is like Daniel Radcliffe has AIDS.

SPEAKER_01 42:21

In other news, Shlomo Khalimi got shot. I mean, in in the build-up to that, you see Nobby who's like a scumbag and he's he's like get you know, the there's a guy giving out free drinks at this reception, so he's taking the whole tray and drinking them all, and then he puts his finger through that like paper cut like a cardboard cutout of like a a black kid. Yeah. And he's like got through Williams, and then it's stunts, and then he has to go.

SPEAKER_04 42:46

It was so shit this joke until he spat on it. And then I was like, oh come on.

SPEAKER_01 42:52

Like all all the way like so my missus had never seen this, and I said, Look, you've got two choices. One's one's about like racist skin heads, like it's really grim and bleak and stuff, and the other one's like totally a totally fucking stupid comedy. Yeah. Which one she chose the comedy. By this time she was warming up to some like tittering and a bit of chuckling and stuff, yeah. And and it was just about holding her interest at the at this point.

SPEAKER_02 43:15

At this point, yeah. So they the the HQ immediately missing the conclusion. What has happened to be that Mark Strong's character has tried to assassinate because what then happens is there's another shot fired and it kills the leader of the World Health Organization. He is executed. And they interpret that as he's gone rogue and he's killed him.

SPEAKER_04 43:39

This was completely lost in the edit, wasn't it? Because they skip over it, don't they? Like, oh, he's turned bad. Of course, that's the point.

SPEAKER_01 43:46

Obviously, his broken ankle heels. Yeah. Well, but he's got those injections which again become like foreshadowing.

SPEAKER_02 43:52

There's quite a lot of it in his union. So then they have this awkward rec, you know reconciliation. Reunion is the word I'm looking for. Where they they get back together, then he's like, fuck off, like I need to go and you know sort this out. And Nobby just wants his brother back, but they're from, you know, they're polar opposites at this point, you know.

SPEAKER_01 44:13

But he has to lay low, Mark Strauss. He's a wanted man now. He's a wanted man, he has to lay low, and he goes, I've got to go somewhere that's completely like off the grid, like, and you know, no one will ever think to look for me there and everything. And Nobby's like, I've got exactly the place. So they take him back up to Grimsby. Not to well, yeah, too. It does show him that.

SPEAKER_04 44:32

This is where the story starts to emerge a little bit. Because it comes in drips and droughts, their backstory, which will eventually be revealed it's fine to do it now. Yeah, do it now, yeah. There's like a they they were fostered, the parents died and they were fostered in the in the care system. In Grimsby, which is probably really shit. Nice. And these kind of rich parents come along and they think that they're going to be taken to safety, and then it's revealed to Sasha Baron Cohen's character as a lad, heard them talking saying they're only going to take one, and he wanted his brother to go and have a nice life, so he went on the train with him as if they were going, and then at the last minute bins him off because he knows he doesn't have a future and he's going back to the care home, and off goes Sebastian to live a life with the rich parents and eventually use his he's like quite emotional about he felt that because he didn't know what happened from his perspective. Yeah, so he was abandoned him. Yeah, so he's got a big thing.

SPEAKER_01 45:25

Which rides the James Fond angle of the orphan diet. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 45:29

So Yeah, that's the i it's a sort of moment of sincerity that they reach for that's completely undercut by like literally nothing else being sincere in the entire movie.

SPEAKER_01 45:40

Or heartfelt in any way, shape, or form. Anyway, the so what what's that? HQ have put they've they've got like a rogue agent out of retirement. Chilcott. Chilcott, who he was basically knocked off because he was like too he he kept but he's been brought back in because he's the only one capable of assassinating Courty. Sebastian. Assassinating Sebastian. So he's managed to follow him up to Grimsby and like basically there's like what what what they've done in the local pub is they've made a massive hoo-ha about it, so it was easy to track them down and so on. I mean we've we've got to then go to the the fish factory part of it. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:18

Because I was just the the dart poison dart. Yeah, so we'll give you like a flavour of the level of the comedy.

SPEAKER_01 46:26

Yeah, like this is just like sort of like base, stupid, like humour.

SPEAKER_02 46:31

They get found and they he gets a couple of poison dart. Well, he gets a poison dart, we've told, we see. In the next in his look like the back of his shoulder, and he says, You need to suck the poison out, that's some sort of caterpillar venom. Yeah, and if you don't get that out in the next 90 seconds, I'm a dead man. And so I'm not doing that, that's gh. And he's like, You've got to do it, brother. And he says he's like, Oh god, you know, I've found you after all these years, so I'll do it. And he's like, sucks it out, and then he spits this like toxic grin poison, and then he sort of looks down and he's got one right in his dick on his crotch. And he's like, Oh, it's in my left testicle. Yeah, you can and then Mark Shawnee's just giving it all like completely really serious.

SPEAKER_04 47:13

It's the seriousness with which he says that completely sucks.

SPEAKER_01 47:17

It ramps up because you don't think you think, well, surely they're not gonna show anything, and then you see Borat and you've seen other stuff, and you know Satchivanco will show it. And then at one point he's like going, like, yeah, no, like no, the the way the blood's running, I need to be on top of you. So it goes like that. There's a shot of Satchan's face, and he's just a testing on his mouth. Going in and out of his mouth.

SPEAKER_04 47:36

Some guy walks in and it looks like he's basically just fucking Johnny Vegas, and he's they start filming it, don't they?

SPEAKER_01 47:42

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, by by this time, my memory is now completely pissing herself. Like this has now become fucking her favourite movie ever. But like just the way because Sebastian passes out after he sucked the poison out, but then there's just this like he's and then and Nobby's like crying because he thinks his brother's dead, but he's still got his sack on his face.

SPEAKER_04 48:03

And then at the end when he comes to like he's finished, and then it just jizzes a little bit on his thing.

SPEAKER_01 48:09

It's just a bit of pre-ejaculate growing up.

SPEAKER_02 48:12

Which we'll come back later. So there's a lead basically of what exactly are they trying to find? Who they're trying to find Ben Affleck, not Ben Affleck, because Ikins. Yeah, and the the lead takes them out to South Africa. So they end up going out to South Africa, because this is where you're gonna get the we alluded to in the intro rigs, the elephant sequence. Yeah. Which again was foreshadowed when they're watching National Geographic. There's also like a super super hot bird, which is maybe worth checking the film out for.

SPEAKER_01 48:40

She's the bird, she's Peaky Blinders, she's the girlfriend, the Irish girlfriend.

SPEAKER_04 48:44

There's a really quick detour where they meet a heroin dealer, of course, and Nobby decides to get some heroin. Because of course, we haven't and then he has to take over Mark Strong comically, who has to keep injecting himself with this thing to keep his ankle from refracturing or something. He then has to take his place in a seduction plot. But we've already seen he's got a bit of a fetish, I guess, for bigger slightly larger women, and he misinterprets the instructions to seduce the woman in a green dress, the clearly and goes for the sort of more heavy set cleaning lady. Yeah. And then there's just a very brief scene that we've probably got where he clogs up the toilet with a massive shit and gets the beautiful girl to unplug it because he he tries to.

SPEAKER_01 49:28

It's a hilarious like misunderstanding because she's talking. He she thinks she she's talking about his dick, and he's talk thinks she's talking about his shit. He's massive shit. So it's it's really hard and then soft in the middle and then really hard looking.

SPEAKER_05 49:42

There there's a there's a basically a Daniel's Daniel's in there.

SPEAKER_02 49:51

We're just finishing the pod. That's right, alright. See you in a sec. So you may go to see. Basically, let's go get gunned down, but let's just cut to the like the elephant bit because it's yeah, like ridiculous.

SPEAKER_04 50:04

We've got to get away from these hitmen that are chasing them. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 50:07

And there's been there's been the commentary on the National Geographic near National Geographic about how enormous an elephant's vagina can stretch. So they basically both climb into an elephant's vagina, and then a uh particularly horny elephant climbs on top, and you just see an el like a massive elephant dick come in.

SPEAKER_04 50:28

It's like hitting Mark Strong in the face, just like just a huge elephant gob.

SPEAKER_02 50:32

And he's been playing this role, like obviously completely straight, and he's just getting battered by this massive elephant dick. No, there's only one thing for it. We're gonna have to make him go. You want the sharp and I'll do the balls. Yeah. So they they basically wank off this elephant and never said that on the pod before.

SPEAKER_04 50:51

Until it explodes with jeers all over Mark's face.

SPEAKER_02 50:53

And he says he uses the line back on him, it's only a bit of pre-ejaculate, you're up. Yeah. But then they look, he looks out of the vagina and another elephant and he goes, Oh no, it's a massive elephant jackie pie. And you're like, really? And you zoom back and there's all these elephants just standing back to the room.

SPEAKER_04 51:08

A curious of them. Yeah. And he's getting shafted in the ass now with one as well. Because in the next scene, he'll comically have a bruise on his body.

SPEAKER_02 51:15

Yeah. It turns out that what they they get some intel and they do the stuff with the blood because the plot is fairly flip flimsy.

SPEAKER_04 51:22

It's all going to culminate around the World Cup final that's happening in Chile.

SPEAKER_02 51:26

Penelope Cruz is not the victim. She is the ringleader. Oh no. She is going full Thanos. The global cure is not it's to kill everyone and start again.

SPEAKER_00 51:39

Right. And it's not ever luck and juice, is it?

SPEAKER_02 51:41

No, and the plan is that in the World Cup final, which England will be playing in later on, but they are playing in in this in the film. Yeah. Life Imitating Art. In the fireworks is the virus that she's gonna be able to do that.

SPEAKER_04 51:52

And basically, because it's people from Grimsby, the idea is they're so worthless that they'll, you know, go home and take the underclass with them in the way of the city.

SPEAKER_02 51:59

Yeah, the virus has a sort of two weeks thing, and then once everyone's gone from the World Cup back out around the world, they'll spread the virus everywhere and everyone will die. Yeah.

SPEAKER_04 52:09

So this is really where the movie is trying to make some sort of point, isn't it, about rich people and the sort of trying to, you know, control the the population. But it's just spent fucking 90 minutes ridiculing and being horrible about these people, mostly, and making them the butt of every joke. So it's really undercut.

SPEAKER_02 52:26

Anyway. The way that it plays out is that the they get he does a rallying cry to the crowd of the basically this section of Grimsby lads that we need we need to do a pitch invasion. And there has been a thing about a pitch invasion before, but it's really irrelevant. And so they do it's quite funny because they're they are like it's Johnny Vega style, you know, this big fella. And they do a pitch invasion, but they're so unfair they get like a quarter of the way. It's like and then they they get the intel from Ireland Fish to say, Oh, it's the the viruses in the fireworks. And it's like, oh, there's only one thing for it. Basically, you know, we've seen how he's dealt with fireworks before, he's gonna have to stick it. And he's like, up his ass. It's like it's it's the one on the right. There's a joke about him not known as left from the right, whatever. So eventually it's a it's an enormous fucking rocket, right? So he takes he drops trowel and he squats over the room. It's bigger than even you would be comfortable, Chris. Yeah. Really? Oh no. And she says, Oh no. It's both of the rockets in the middle, you know, the middle of the table. It's like, brother, you know, we're gonna have to, you know.

SPEAKER_04 53:27

Yeah, so Mark Strong's heroically takes his pants down and puts the rocket up his ass.

SPEAKER_02 53:34

And they As anyone would, right? The the fireworks ignite, Bevis presses the button and they fucking shoot off into the sky and it explodes, and it's Oh, just before that, sorry, she was taken out by Shlomo Khalidi being thrown in his wheelchair.

SPEAKER_04 53:49

By ten-year-old. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 53:51

And then there's another stray bullet which this time hits Daniel Volk and his blood goes into Donald Trump's mouth. So now Donald Trump's gonna be a little bit.

SPEAKER_02 53:57

Donald Trump immediately gets AIDS. Yeah. If only. So we've the bad guys have been defeated, but we've lost our two heroes as well. Yeah, which is sad times. Then we sort of pour it fade to black for like a second, and then we go cut to a uh hospital room and it it it's gone massive damage to their AIDS. It's explained that because of the ex you know enormous amounts of elephant jizz, that that had some sort of It helps with skin elasticity. It no, it it had a sort of antidote quality to the virus. Yeah. So they weren't killed by the virus. And he lifts up his hospital account and his he's gaping like his asshole is like fucking enormous.

SPEAKER_01 54:43

I mean we're just like we haven't even explained it. Yeah, so he's hot in here, turn on the fan, and as the fan pans around, obviously it goes two. The big gaping asshole makes a blowing on a bottle. And even says, we're like a couple of pan pipes, aren't we? It's so fucking stupid.

SPEAKER_02 55:01

So they they have fully reconciled their back to being bros and actually not.

SPEAKER_04 55:08

He had a fight with uh Adkins, during which he discovered an absolute passion for and curiously great ability for shooting a handgun. He starts killing people afterwards. And so it ends with him as part of the elite team. But unfortunately, on his mission, he does he does seem to have executed his own team members by accident.

SPEAKER_02 55:27

He just goes onto his phone, kills all these foreigners, and then he sees his brother's like, have you met all the team?

SPEAKER_04 55:32

He's like And then it ends with a bit of text. I think it says Daniel Radcliffe doesn't film AIDS. And then Donald Trump was not part of this film.

SPEAKER_02 55:44

Cut. And does not have AIDS.

SPEAKER_04 55:46

And then it's a long beat and does not have AIDS. I guess they had to put that in for the lawyers, man. Yeah. So there we go.

SPEAKER_02 55:53

I was dreading watching this. I thought it would be absolutely awful. And whilst it probably is, I laughed at it way much way more than I thought it was gonna.

SPEAKER_01 56:01

Yeah. That's the thing. It's a little bit, it's it's quite similar to have you seen The Dictator. No. Yes. It's it's similar to that. It's similar to that in that like so much of it you're like rolling your eyes at because it's so preposterous and stupid and everything. But there are there are like parts, elements of it that will make you know. It's not very much about it as say like a Borat or even Bruno, maybe it's not as sharp satirically as any of those either.

SPEAKER_02 56:26

Some of the right is like fairly dreadful. Stuff about the kids smoking, you're like, really, is that uh that was the first gagging film. I'm like, oh god, really. But no, some of it really made me laugh.

SPEAKER_04 56:35

And some of it is that thing of this isn't very funny, but they keep pushing it and making it more extreme. Like the joke of the him being shot in the balls is possibly not all that funny, but then when he's gagging on his cock, basically, that kind of is.

SPEAKER_01 56:47

I I kind of feel like he sits and thinks, like, what can I how can I get that in a film? How can I get that in a film? And then he then he does it, and the like the delivery still makes you fucking laugh. It hits it hits that those parts hit the spot.

SPEAKER_02 57:02

So I'm gonna give it. If I had to, I would say it's a strong recommend.

SPEAKER_01 57:05

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. If I'd say strong recommend as well. Yeah. Strong from the Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 57:15

Right. England week is done. England are kicking. Where are we going to? We're going to sweat in the Mam Cave now, where we watch England's Bring It Home Phase Two. Yeah. All that remains is to say Sidey's signing out. Reese has left the building. Lot of a da-da. Dan's gone. That was good for you. Nice.