Short People & Jack Reacher

Jack Reacher

Sidey: [00:00:00] Have you got- No ... no. This, okay, part two of Reach Around Week. Yeah. We've... In the Midweeker we talked about Reach of the series- Yes ... today.

Dan: On Prime.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Now we're on Friday,

Sidey: Now we're on Friday, we're gonna talk about the movie featuring- That was

Dan: On Netflix

Sidey: Tom not 6'5" Cruise which was basically everyone's beef about it.

We're also gonna talk about a top five of short people? Yeah. Is that how it was described? Yeah. Okay. We're gonna do that.

Dan: Well, they're not tall.

Sidey: they're not tall. Shall we get into the main event first?

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: We had a fixture yesterday.

Dan: That's the big news.

Sidey: fixture against Madeira. Walking

Dan: football.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: Oh, and?

Sidey: We won.

Of course

Dan: We won We, we...

Oh, top of the league, so we are top of the league. Played two, won two, scored million.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: less than a mil, but,

Sidey: kickoff 10:00. Yeah. Kickoff put back 'cause they didn't have... They were scared, [00:01:00] I think, out the gate. They were scared, didn't have enough people. Oh. So we had to delay kickoff till their, all their guys turned up. Then we just fucking wiped the floor with them, didn't we,

Dan: And then, then we, we, we were- It was like the first three ... yeah, we were, we were-

Sidey: Didn't feel like that on the pitch either,

Dan: crushing them one-nil at halftime. Yeah. And then

Sidey: got a bit of a telling off at halftime. You did ... which... Well, the team.

Dan: And

Sidey: I always

Dan: like- Standards

Sidey: fucking hell, we done all right."

You know, we- No,

Dan: were- No, they never really looked like scoring too much.

Sidey: "You've been shit" and we never really did something. And, oh, we thought we did okay. Anyway.

Reegs: Who gave the telling off? Peter? No,

Dan: No Dennis,

Sidey: the, the gaffer. He's a policeman, so he's used to it. He's really, really like Jack Reacher, really.

Dan: his standards are high.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: carrot and the stick. He really only knows the stick.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. Well, yeah,

Sidey: got a goal

Dan: even I scored.

Reegs: in, was it?

Dan: It was. It was, yeah. It was, First.

Reegs: first? I got

Dan: I got the first one, yeah. I

Sidey: one that really killed them.

Dan: The one that, that kind

Sidey: spirits, yeah. Then Shep, Shep got the second and Ross, former Moratti legend, got the

Dan: third. Yeah. Well, still [00:02:00] Moretti legend, isn't he? Yeah.

Sidey: So

Reegs: three unanswered

Sidey: Three spanked bottoms to nil And

Dan: slept well- Yeah ... with his clean sheets- Yeah, yeah ... in goal.

Sidey: I've still yet to concede while I've been on the pitch. I'm just

Reegs: his clean sheet bonus? He gets a,

Dan: Coffee

Reegs: a hearty handshake. I, I think he's almost disappointed

Sidey: He gets a, a party Coffee I think, I think he's almost disappointed that he doesn't get to scream at us as, as much as he'd like if he could He

Dan: likes a scream, yeah, if

Reegs: they- ... if they take a

Dan: or a pass away that he feels they shouldn't, then Jock, Jock will have a good scream.

But then we all went to the wonderful Down Dog.

Sidey: The social committee met up, yeah, after- Mm.

Dan: The game, broke it down, and you may hear the one voice missing today,

Sidey: Chris- Christian's fallen by the wayside.

He's struck down with illness

Reegs: You might hear that his voice is missing. Yeah- Yeah ... I suppose you might hear that,

Sidey: Yeah. There's a gaping- You might hear ... there's a gaping chasm where Chris once was Yeah. He thinks possib- 'cause we did have good weather at the weekend. He thinks possibly sunstroke Okay Which I said to Dan earlier, I'm sure he's had that, [00:03:00] like, two or three times.

I don't think he's very sun safe- Yeah ... christian

Reegs: Maybe he needs to put some more factor million

Sidey: I don't think it was Factor anything on. Yeah. X

Dan: factor.

Sidey: So we don't know exactly what the full diagnosis is. But anyway, get well

Dan: of him, wishing him well.

Sidey: Yeah. Part of the s- part of the Sawyer33 crew. We-

Dan: Support the 33 crew ... w- Pete did come as well, didn't he, to the football?

We did see him.

Sidey: Pete was there, yeah.

Dan: But he's not here, again, you can hear that he's not.

Sidey: Did you watch anything o- other than the homework, Dan?

Dan: o- other than the homework, Dan? I think I did, but I can't remember it right now

Sidey: Okay. Good. Reid? Yeah,

Reegs: been watching, with the missus, The Patient on Disney.

It's a Hulu thing. Yeah. Steve Carell is a psychiatrist, and Domhnall Gleeson is his serial killer,

Sidey: Okay

Reegs: patient who abducts him and brings him home for some sort of forced therapy. Is it good? Yeah, it's pretty good. It's only, like, 20, 25-minute episodes as well, which is quite nice sometimes- Yeah ... when you're looking for something in that sweet spot.

And I quite like Steve Carell. He's got a sort of sad clown thing about [00:04:00] him.

Dan: Yeah, I quite like him.

Sidey: I like

Reegs: him. I like him, yeah. And there's a whole load of very interesting Jewish stuff going on as well because of his relationship and all that in it. So yeah, yeah, I enjoyed that. And Domhnall Gleeson's fantastic in it, and I really like him too.

Dan: too. I did actually watch some YouTube content with pinballs and,

Sidey: pinballs and, Oh ... arcade

Dan: games. Yeah, arcade games- Okay ... and, and pinball machines. And there was one what was it called? Rad Stuff, I think is the name of the channel. And they had loads of different pinball machines, and they run an arcade and, in America, where they just have all free play, kinda Donkey Kong and R-Type and Asteroids and-

Reegs: R-Type and- They have some absolutely mad tables though, don't they? Yeah. And all... Especially in the Far East as well. They have that sort of thing going on as well, don't they?

Sidey: The ones with the metal balls and all that- Yeah ... stuff. The mat- The chinker. Yes, sir.

Yeah.

Reegs: And that, Pachinko? That's it, yeah.

Sidey: I s- I saw a good

Reegs: one,

Dan: the metal balls and all that stuff Yeah And that, Pachinko? Is it? Yeah. I s- I saw a good one the other day. It was a Jon Bon Jovi pinball machine, and it had the heart, [00:05:00] and when it went through f- You go shot through the heart came on and things like that. It was quite cool. Yeah.

Very good.

Sidey: good. I don't think I watched I didn't watch any movies to speak of, other than the homework.

I watched all the homework. And I've been plowing through "Barry." I'm halfway through season three, really enjoying that.

Reegs: it's good, isn't it?

Sidey: it? Yeah. Just the, the juxtaposition of, like, being a ruthless, like, hitman and, like, just lampooning the fucking Hollywood and acting. It's just brilliant. It's really good.

Yeah. So I'm gonna be sad when that ends. And Bill Hader's great as well. Yeah. He's just- Been

Dan: I might have to get into

Sidey: Oh, it's really good. Really, really good. Yeah, you would-- You'd really enjoy it. Strong recommend for that. But yeah, other than that, just

Reegs: "Homeward." It's sometimes really shockingly violent as well.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: Well, I say I did actually go beyond the homework and did extra credit because- Yeah ... I finished a full season of "Reacher"- Yeah ... on Prime. But we're gonna be talking about- Ooh,

Sidey: did watch something else. Ooh, go on. Also on Prime. I started watching "The Grand Tour," the new series with the three [00:06:00] new presenters.

Dan: Oh,

Reegs: is it?

Sidey: It's two nerds who had a YouTube channel about cars, and then it's Francis Bourgeois, the train enthusiast guy. Okay. It does work quite well actually 'cause they're-- none of them are as irritating as the three previous ones. Yeah. And because it's three, not unknowns, because people who are into cars would have really liked their YouTube channel.

Yeah. It's like, it was a proper channel. It wasn't like t-two dickheads. It was like, it's proper. So they would have had a big following outside of normal television. But because- They're now on Prime ... because they're now on Prime, like, you know what Prime are like. They throw... Like it's a- Yeah

different production company that did the Clarkson version. Yeah. And they've like every episode is just like a million, billion bucks. I mean, it's crazy. Yeah. The first episode, Francis Bourgeois...

Dan: know

Sidey: Do you know him? Do you know- No ... have you seen him? So he's a l- really, really, he's a train spotter, but he's also like a natural at presenting stuff like this.

So he is driving in the first one, the most expensive, I think it's the most expensive and most powerful internal [00:07:00] combustion vehicle, like, you can get. It's insane. And then the three of them are all driving like supercars, and then they, they do a chase where they, they do a lap of this

Reegs: airfield,

Sidey: and they're getting chased, but not Red Arrows, but like the American equivalent of Red Arrows, something like that.

And it's all like, couldn't be more big budget. It's like- Yeah ... insane how much money they're throwing at it. So I'm, so I'm enjoying that. It's just like real glitzy. Like that one production member that you-

Reegs: level values, basically. Yeah.

Sidey: Like, oh, that's way cooler than my job sort of stuff.

Dan: was this on? This is- Prime. On Prime. Okay.

Sidey: this on? Prime. On Prime. Okay.

Yeah, they just do cool stuff that you wish you could do yourself, but you can never do. You know? So

Reegs: Are they funny?

Needs to be funny,

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. This is like, if you like sort of car banter, do you know what I mean? And then, "Oh, your car's shit," and Oh, wah, wah ... oh, funny, like that sort of stuff.

When, but when or, or not necessarily when it's cars, but when their car breaks down and it's lol and

Reegs: ha, look at you, your car broke down.

Sidey: If you don't like that, you're gonna struggle with it. I quite enjoy it. Okay. So yeah, watch that.

Dan: Nice. Right.

Sidey: Should we talk about short people? Short

Reegs: [00:08:00] yeah, my people.

Sidey: Five, five

Dan: short people we're after here. We're gonna try and whittle them down.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: Don't wheel them too much.

Reegs: No.

Sidey: I've got, I've got notes. I've got a selection of, of short people. Well, I

Dan: to the,

Sidey: Is there any sort of clever interpretations that we're allowed?

Dan: Well, I, I spoke to the missus first, and I have to get this out 'cause sh- you know, she doesn't often contribute anything, Yeah ... to this show.

But she said Dustm- Dustin Hoffman.

Sidey: She did?

Dan: away, didn't she? Dustin Hoffman, yeah. We were all there. Dust- Dustbin, Dustin Hoffman. Yeah. And he is 5'5 or 6".

Reegs: I've got the n- I've got heights for most of mine here, actually. I don't know if I've got Dustin

Sidey: didn't go to that level of research. You didn't,

Dan: you didn't research the measurements.

Reegs: He's in that 5'5" area, I

Dan: He's 5'5". There

Reegs: There you go

Dan: Wh- which is about 165 centimeters. Yeah. And he's obviously won his two Oscars for Kramer and Kramer and Rain Man.

Sidey: Did he not win one for Tootsie?

Dan: think he might have [00:09:00] been- Nominated ... n- nominated. And talking of nominations- Tootsie, the film

Sidey: vs. Kramer is so miserable.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: I was just get- thinking of getting all turned on by Tootsie A-

Dan: a- another thing that I did watch this week was a YouTube thing on the houses, Hidden Homes- Oh, yeah. With Toby. Yeah ... which

Sidey: yeah, with Toby.

Dan: thing, with a guy called Toby, who you know, and you've been on these- Yeah, I've

Sidey: I did one on Saturday, actually.

Dan: with. And it was really enjoyable the, the show that he put on. And a lady you might have heard of before, four time Academy Award winner

Never mind the, like the 10 or 15 nominations she had Katharine Hepburn. Yeah. She lived or stayed a long time at the house at the bottom of the zoo where I work.

And

Sidey: Jana also has been

Dan: Jana also has been to that house babysitting the, the children there. But Katharine Hepburn used to come up through

the,

the bottom of the, the gates and feed the birds at the zoo. And they talk about all that history

Sidey: and- Strong recommend for that channel.

Yeah, that was really good. Hidden Homes on [00:10:00] YouTube. It's To- Yeah ... so it's a cross between Toby, who does Tall Tales walking history tours- Yeah ... which I did one on Saturday. It was brilliant. And Broadlands Estate Agents. Okay. Which is- It's really good. They did- They're a good match ... they've done one on, they've done one on Government House.

Brilliant. Really, really

Dan: Really very interesting, yeah, and well presented.

I thought they were they were naturals. The, Harry and, and Toby who did the, the shows. I don't know either of them, but really enjoyed it. And very interesting. But there you go, you know? Two-time... I've gone from two-time Academy Award winner to Katharine Hepburn there in just a few steps. But Dustin Hoffman stood at, stood, stands.

Probably stood. He still

Reegs: stood, and he still

Dan: He stood and he still stands. He stood and he still stands. I don't know how tall he is when he lies down, but he's 5'5" when he's stood up.

Reegs: Yeah

Sidey: He, like, is method, isn't he? Yeah. Yeah. And I think we did meth- Method Man for the pod, didn't we? Yeah. And had Laurence Olivier in that, and he was getting really fucked off with Dustin Hoffman's, like, method acting.

He's like, "Can't you just fucking pretend?" You know? Yeah. Yeah. It's acting,

Reegs: dickhead.

Dan: [00:11:00] But Rain Man that was the first thing that I remember really seeing

Reegs: we caught him in,

Dan: We called him,

Sidey: chef? No. He was in that

Reegs: that But Redford, the Robert Redford

Sidey: All the President's Squirrels

Reegs: All the President's Gorillas,

Sidey: All the

Dan: Yeah, he's a terrific actor

Reegs: I think some of the shortest people on my list and have a are the, the Oompa-Loompas- Yeah

From Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, 1971. Mel Stuart, an entire workforce of short

Sidey: Yeah, slave

Reegs: non-tall

people

Sidey: fairly happy about it.

Reegs: about it. Well, but in the book, they are saved from some catastrophic injury or something, aren't they? And then basically taken to his

Sidey: Chewbacca. There's like a life pledge to-

Reegs: And then... Well, no, but it's, they're still taken back and, like, put to work, basically. Okay. But they were ordinary-looking, if just a bit short, whereas in the film, you know- Grotesque ... whatever the fuck they were. They are grotesque, yeah. Orange skin.

Sidey: a sort of Celtic kit, and they've got [00:12:00] an orange, which is like a, an amalgamation of real sectarianism.

You know, it's the- Yeah ... the Orange Order and the

Reegs: I'd never thought about it like that before, but I think you might be right. Yeah. Sort of like the mini Jokers, but they've got too much suntan-

Sidey: they are, like, complicit in murdering kids.

Reegs: Yeah, for sure. And they often sing songs about, on the way out, about how glad they are that it happened

Sidey: I was as well, to be honest

and they sing.

Reegs: He, he. Yeah. Yeah. So... And they contribute, I think, to this idea that Hollywood definitely perpetuates that really short people make things surreal. Like in,

Sidey: Yeah, yeah, yeah

Reegs: like this, or you get a bunch of short people, Twin Peaks.

Sidey: you've taken my... Well, go, go, go. No, I'm saving that for you.

I'm still gonna nom it. There's a Simpsons one.

Reegs: of course

Sidey: I straightaway thought about,

Reegs: pretty short Yeah.

Sidey: was a specific one. The, the... See if you can get it from the date the episode aired. It was 24th of September, [00:13:00] 1993. Okay. My eyes, the goggles do nothing.

Dan: So,

Sidey: So, Radioactive Man is the episode, and Milhouse gets cast as Fall Out Boy.

That's right. And he's short in his own right, but he's a child, so you'd expect that. And when he eventually jibs it and decides that-

Reegs: He gives up the acting life

Sidey: Rooney Mickey Rooney's bust in to give him a pep talk at first- Yeah ... about I'm a former child star and blah, blah. And then he ends up being cast and he...

The final bit is him, like, doing the Jimmy Stewart as Radioactive Man. Yeah. Mickey Rooney was 5 foot 2 inches. Oh, is he? And he was 75 years old at the time, so probably maybe had

Reegs: shorter as

Sidey: maybe he'd lost a few of those inches as well. So yeah.

Dan: I'll tell you who's short. Yeah. Martin Short. Yeah. Yeah. Martin

Sidey: by name

Dan: And by nature. He's six foot, five foot- He's six... He's only six feet five. No he's, he's five feet six and a half inches. Yeah. So he's- I mean, he's- ... probably the taller of our short

Reegs: I was gonna say, that's on the cusp of being- But his, his name- [00:14:00] Tell me, tell me that,

Dan: his name-

Sidey: name- Yes, I would

Dan: is Martin Short. Yeah. So I think he can

Sidey: Do you think, though, that if Steve Martin wasn't around, Martin Short would've amounted to anything?

Dan: Short would have amounted to anything? I think he's a

Sidey: they seem to be a double act where it's largely Steve Martin

Dan: I know I, I actually really liked him. He did Innerspace as well.

Reegs: did. He'll always have a, the soft spot in my heart for that.

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: in your penis. I

Dan: thought he was,

Reegs: a hard spot in

Dan: spot in there ... yeah, no, re- really good. He's got like that manic kind of energy throws in... And as a kid I really enjoyed the, the movies with him in. They... And in fact I always used to think, "Why do they not do more of him?"

Because he, he just tickled me.

Sidey: He-

Dan: he's in- It's a short sort ... only, Only Murders in the Building- Yes ... at, at the moment.

Sidey: that, haven't you?

Reegs: liked it.

I didn't mind the first season of it, but my missus didn't really like it, so

Sidey: so-

Dan: Never got beyond

Reegs: very easy watching

Sidey: I'll be honest, Martin [00:15:00] Short put me off watching that. Oh. Oh, really? Yeah.

Dan: I don't think he's got better with age, to be honest. There's a

Reegs: very big, isn't he? He's got a certain style that if it- Yeah

grates, then...

Dan: But it, when he was in the '80s and, and early '90s doing his stuff it was really good. There's a documentary I think on Netflix with him at the moment,

Sidey: moment

Dan: which I started watching, but I didn't, I didn't get through.

But there he is. He's our tallest short person, Martin Short. Another

Reegs: Another one who's on the taller end of the short- Mm-hmm

uh, stick, but I was surprised that this guy was as short as he is, which is 5'6", is Al Pacino.

Dan: Al? Yeah.

Reegs: Al. Okay. Yeah. He's 5'6". And apparently in The Offer, which I didn't watch but you did, there is a scene that debates him being too short for the role of Michael Corleone. Yeah. So...

Dan: He's, Well, he, but he's, he's... What is he?

Sidey: Well, I mean, out of the three- He's short ... out of the three brothers, he's, you know, is the sh-

Reegs: the

Sidey: Yeah

most [00:16:00] diminutive stature-wise.

Reegs: is, yeah. Yeah. And then another nomination going down, taking an inch off this time, is Daniel Radcliffe at 5'5".

Dan: Five five. Nobody else

Sidey: he was as short as that. Okay.

Reegs: was probably one of the more famous short characters in TV, in, in film in Harry Potter.

Sidey: Yeah.

Reegs: And then he did a lot of other cool stuff that we enjoyed, Swiss Army Man the weird- I recommended

Dan: just to my sister the other day, and she, she went on to just quickly see what that was about, and she said it was like a, a motorboat and fighting guy that goes corpse.

And she was like, "I'm not sure I'm gonna like this." I said, "Just watch it for the first sort of 10 minutes anyway and you'll laugh because it's-" And

Reegs: as well ... it's really good" Did you see that one? The... You did, I know, the Weird Al Yankovic.

Dan: He makes some good choices though. I like his

Reegs: Well, he can do. He can do whatever he wants, can't he? I mean, he's set for

Sidey: Some people don't do that. They just carry on doing the big stuff. Yeah. Like someone like a Tom Cruise or whatever, whereas he's just like, "No, I've done that. Now I can do whatever I want." Yeah. "Do the stuff that I find interesting," which I really like that about him. Wh- which, like- Guns [00:17:00] Akimbo,

Reegs: Guns akimbo, yeah. W- Which makes him

Dan: Wh- which makes him very interesting. Cillian Murphy's not very tall.

Reegs: Is he

Dan: not? No. Do you wanna have a guess?

Sidey: 5'7".

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: I'd say that's not short, though.

Reegs: now we're getting into just middle, middle

Sidey: what can we do? What are you, Rick?

Reegs: On a good day, 5'8".

Dan: eight.

There you go.

Sidey: There you go I'd say we're getting into the realms of average height.

Dan: Average height. Okay. So we'll leave Cillian Murphy- Yeah ... as, as an average top

Sidey: I sometimes veer into the realms of musicians and music. Yeah. I've got one who straddles both music and film. Okay. Because there's an album and a film, Purple Rain.

Reegs: Prince was not a tall

Sidey: He was 5'2". Was

Reegs: he really?

Sidey: really? Which is definitely...

Well, have you ever seen that cunt, not... I don't know why I called him a cunt. That, that fella- ... not wearing Cuban heels? No. Always. You can see Hoffman Towers over him. Yeah. At 5'5". And Purple Rain, [00:18:00] apparently, I always, like, toyed with the idea of nominating this 'cause I've never seen it, but I have heard it's absolutely dreadful.

Mm. Yeah. And I don't want another Cats on our hand. Yeah. But the, but the music is great. Yes. So, you know, it's a double-edged gorl really on that sense. But 5'2", I didn't actually realize he was quite as short as that.

Dan: Well,

I tell you who looks up to him. ... Danny DeVito.

Sidey: Yeah,

Reegs: does, at 4'10".

Dan: He does, yeah. 40ish. Danny DeVito, yeah.

He's 40. He's about

Sidey: 147

Dan: 147 centimeters

Reegs: Did you do the math

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: there? Yeah.

Sidey: He's been incredibly successful for someone, But

Dan: the

Sidey: that

Dan: character kind of comedy actors. Everything from,

Sidey: Producer as well ... Taxi. He's done really well as a film producer.

Dan: Done well as a producer. He's, I

Reegs: the Romancing

Sidey: movies? Romancing the Stone. Yeah, he's the Penguin. He was Matilda's dad. Yeah,

Reegs: a good one.

Sidey: He's obviously in he's always Sunny in Philadelphia, which is brilliant. Yeah. Yeah. Great.

Reegs: mean,

Sidey: is very short. It's short. It's really short.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: I think of him quite a lot from the Friends episode where he's a stripper, or I [00:19:00] don't know whether you-

Sidey: Yeah, good policeman.

Reegs: Yeah. Yeah

Dan: Yeah. He's still, still got the laughs

Reegs: What else have we got? Probably, ooh, two for eight, Verne

Dan: Verne Troyer? Yeah.

Reegs: Troyer,

Sidey: Yeah, had a sex tape as well.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: That's horny. What? Yeah. So

Dan: That's- What? Yeah. So that, that's the eight, is it?

Sidey: He's dead now?

Dan: Is he?

Reegs: might be,

Dan: Mini Me.

Reegs: He was,

he was Mini-Me. I think introduced as the- Second one ... henchman in the first one. Hang on.

De, de, de, yeah,

Sidey: first?

Reegs: Yeah, I think so. There's ... No, he's in the Spies Who Shag Me, whichever one that is. Second one. Okay. Gold Member. And Gold Member, the third one.

They

Sidey: Okay. And Goldmember is the third one. Goldmember, the third one. They keep talking about fourth. I think it... I don't know if it's been shelved again

Reegs: it's been shelved again. He's m- he's sort

Sidey: Sort of

Reegs: like a sort of gremlin-y type thing really. Tries to

Sidey: like Ferrell, [00:20:00] yeah.

And it's like, it's a joke about his height, which really- I don't know ... there's nowhere to go with that other than- Yeah ... just like keep doing the joke about his height. Yeah.

Reegs: But the, the hard knot life in prison bit with him- ... is so good that it makes up for it, I think. I mean, obviously he's taking off of, what's he called?

Oddjob.

Sidey: Oddjob. Yeah. Really. No, Oddjob is random task. Hervé Villechaize.

Dan: I think it, it was.

Sidey: Hervé

Dan: Villechaize? Oh, no, he was the Fantasy Island- The little man. Yeah. Yeah. That w- he's three feet-

Sidey: with the Golden Gun

Dan: three feet 11 inches, so just an inch off that, that kind of elusive four-footer.

Sidey: he's got a mate I'm not gonna say his real name, but he's really short, and I would always refer to him as Nick

Reegs: Back.

Oh, that's the

Dan: he's in Fantasy Island and The Man with the Golden Gun- Yeah. Yeah ... was, was that chap. Warwick Davis, he's been in Willow, Star Wars. He was also- Quite Too Short ... in Extras. Was it Extras or, Quite Too Short, I think is the one- Is it Gervais one? Oh, the Gervais. He's, he's sat in the chair next to Liam Neeson when they're doing the,

Reegs: Wars.

Sidey: He was also- Life's Too [00:21:00] Short ... in- Yeah ... extras. Was it Extras or- No, Life's Too Short- Oh, Life's Too Short ... is the, is the Gervais one.

Oh, the Gervais. So he's, he's sat in the chair next to Liam Neeson when they're doing the Liam Neeson's trying

Reegs: I've got AIDS.

Sidey: And he got full-blown AIDS. And, and the outtakes of that are brilliant because they just can't get through it, but ... 'Cause they obviously play it straight of him- Yeah

being like, you know. Isn't there one with Johnny Depp trying to flush a man toilet or trying to get him out of

Reegs: of the toilet. Amazing.

Sidey: remember exactly. I'm gonna s- I don't know if this is true, but I'm gonna state it as a fact. Who do you think, can you name the shortest ever Oscar winner?

Dan: Ooh.

Reegs: Shortest ever

Dan: I would say Dustin Hoffman's gotta

Reegs: I would say Dustin Hoffman. Well, Hoffman's rocking in at 5'5" there. So what, how, how much shorter than 5'5" are we going? A

Sidey: than 5'5" are we going? I'm like- Well, I don't have a measurement, so that's why I'm, I'm just completely bullshitting this, but I think it has to be true.

Reegs: All right. Who is it?

Sidey: Tatum O'Neal, Paper Moon, won the Oscar at 10.

Reegs: Oh, it could be. Could be. Oh,

Sidey: Oh, right. Okay. So, but then Anna Paquin won at 11.

Reegs: Yeah.[00:22:00]

Sidey: So, so

Dan: For the piano

Reegs: kind of ch- could just be a lanky child as well. It could be one of those lanky

Sidey: so. Tatum, I mean, Tatum O'Neal seems quite stocky to me. Yeah.

Dan: It'd have to be a child

Sidey: ever heard of

Dan: Wing Wang?

Sidey: Weng No. Weng have, haven't I?

Weng Weng is a 2 foot 9 inch Filipino action star of the movie, For Your Height Only.

Dan: Only.

Reegs: Okay.

Sidey: Which I haven't seen, so I can't tell you anything about it. But it sounds amazing. Sounds like

Dan: like a future nom. Yeah. Yeah

Reegs: For your height only. Fantastic.

Dan: Well, w-we're gonna get onto people like Tom Cruise, but we've already established 5'7" is average

Sidey: What is Tom Cruise? I don't know. 5'7". He's 5'7", is he?

Dan: 5'7".

Reegs: Hey, well, not according to my measurements.

He's... Oh, yeah,

Sidey: his is a 5'7" where he has to project himself being more alpha and more- Well,

Dan: a leading man, isn't he? I mean, I think that's it.

Reegs: When, A lot of them are small like that.

Dan: of them are small like [00:23:00] that.

Sidey: Ron DeSantis i- is always wears lifts and like- Yeah

Tom Cruise is the same, I think. He's

Reegs: Mel Gibson is small.

There's a lot of, like, leading men who are a bit smaller than- And then

Sidey: smaller than- Yeah. And then a lot of the leading ladies are fucking, like, gigantors. Yeah. So that's difficult, isn't it?

Reegs: Yeah. Like Nicole Kidman, and she's,

Sidey: six foot- Ch- yeah, Cameron Diaz and like that night and day one, like she must have towered over him.

Yeah.

Dan: So are we gonna nom?

Sidey: horny. Yes.

Dan: I've got one. That's the, the name of the game, isn't it? Charlie Chaplin.

Sidey: Okay. How, how tall was he?

Dan: He was, Well, he was a titan of the silent film era. But he was at 5'5",

Reegs: 165

Dan: 165 centimeters. Maybe...

Well,

I think that he... Did he win an Oscar for anything? He must've got an honorary Oscar or something. Probably got one,

Sidey: He probably would've got like a life-

Dan: A lifetime achievement a- award. He's a Hollywood legend, of course.

Done tons and tons of stuff. Charles Chaplin. He'd be my nomination. He's [00:24:00] got a

Sidey: connection as well. Is he? Yeah.

Dan: that?

Sidey: He was performing at the Opera House.

Wow.

Dan: What?

Sidey: And the next day was the Battle of Flowers, which was being filmed for, like, newsreel. Yeah. And he was like, "Look at this new technology. I need to get in front of that." And he sort of took that and went back to Hollywood and took, you know-

Dan: Really?

Sidey: On the basis of seeing it being used for the Battle of Flowers, went and then went to Hollywood and went from the stage to being in front of the camera instead.

Dan: There you go.

Sidey: Learned that on a Tall Tales Walk with Toby.

Dan: Wow. Yeah. Okay. That's the kind of stuff you'll get. Weeks? Have you got something smaller than that?

Reegs: Y- well, we went to the Louvre couple of weeks ago, and they sure as shit do have a lot of pictures of Napoleon-

Sidey: Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Reegs: And he was in, if according to reports, documentation, somewhere between 5'2" and 5'7", so not very tall. And he's been done quite a few times in, That's it

in i- in film [00:25:00] history. Even with Joaquin Phoenix in Ridley Scott's

Sidey: seen that

Reegs: that everybody hated, I think. Yeah. I don't know. They w- on about historical accuracy. Again, I'm assuming it had, like, aliens and laser spaceships and stuff.

Sidey: about that, but if, if it's really pretentious and long, I'm... And it seemed to get panned, I'm not motivated to watch it, to be honest.

Reegs: watch it, to be honest. Well, and it will never be better, of course, than this week's nomination for me, which is obviously Terry Camilleri is, as Napoleon in Bill & Ted's

Sidey: Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure.

What a slide.

Reegs: What a slide.

Dan: The what the

Reegs: And

Sidey: Ziggy Piggy. Ziggy

Reegs: Pig.

Sidey: Piggy. And he, like, cuts the guy off with a spoon to take the last bit of ice cream. Yeah.

Reegs: ice cream.

Sidey: He's great. Yeah, he's really good. So

Reegs: So we need two more short people, maybe even four more short

Sidey: I got a nom.

Reegs: need... Oh, do you? Sorry, did you? I

Sidey: I've got two. I'm only gonna no- nominate one of them, but two.

They're both Michael J's.

Reegs: Okay. Michael J.

Sidey: Michael J. Fox was five foot four inches.

Reegs: And Marty McFly, the character, is short. Def- like, he's got small man syndrome, Marty McFly.

Sidey: And when he's called a chicken [00:26:00] and stuff- Yeah ... he has to, like, do that. But he is obviously genuinely small.

And who's the other one? Michael

Reegs: who's the other one? Michael J...?

Sidey: Michael J. Anderson.

Dan: Oh, Kionne

Reegs: you, Who's

Sidey: you gave a little spoiler earlier. He is the dwarf, the, the backwards dancing... backwards talking, dancing dwarf- Oh ... from Cooper's Dream in Twin Peaks. Yeah. So it's becoming a bit of a joke now that I've... I think I've nominated Twin Peaks three or four times in a row.

Yeah. So I had to, I had to go with it. Yeah. Had to go with that.

Reegs: Had to go with that.

Sidey: And when there's two Michael J's that are short, that's really something.

Reegs: yeah, unprecedented.

Sidey: we do need two more short people. There's loads out there. I feel like Danny DeVito should be... Someone needs to put

Dan: Somebody's got to put Danny. But l- see,

Sidey: We'll see what happens ... keep it brief

Dan: keep it brief or short

Sidey: Jack Reacher. He's got his full name in this one Yeah.

Reegs: And I think at only one point does he ask them to say Reacher, and that's it, whereas [00:27:00] in the series he's most insistent about it.

Dan: Yeah, he's very insistent. Is he that in the books?

Reegs: Yes. Yeah, so universally sort of derided

Sidey: But so universally sort of derided this one from what, what I recall.

The fans not liking that it was Tom Cruise playing a universally known to be a big fucking dude.

Reegs: Yeah. And I think if you were a fan of the- Source material ... the source material, w- as soon as you heard who ... This movie was presumably targeting, first and foremost, was fans of the source material- Yeah

to cast what is the

Sidey: Universally known to be not a tall dude

Reegs: of that character was a, a strange choice. Although Cruise does bring his own sort of ... He's got that weird unknowable Scientology thing about him or

Dan: He's a leading actor

Reegs: brings that good charm to this kinda role as well

Dan: He's, he's a, he's a leading actor and he brings that- But he's not 6'5".

He's definitely not 6'5", but he will make everybody stand in a, a, like a, a gully or a channel

Sidey: We were [00:28:00] wondering about that, weren't we, in the

Dan: Wondering if I'd ever been ... so he can tower

Sidey: they had everyone in a, like a, a channel to make them smaller or something. I don't know.

Reegs: But they don't try and... It's not like they're shooting to try and pretend he's much bigger than... His size is not a part of the character in the same way that it, it is in

Sidey: be what? At least a foot and a half shorter than the guy he's trying to play.

This is

Dan: he'd have to play like a, a full kind of, you know, complement of other actors at Warwick Davis height or something for him to be

Sidey: seen as- Yeah ... tall. What do we s- do we start off with his gay knob, do we?

Reegs: We start off with the sniper ring, yeah? We start off with Jai Courtney going off down to,

Sidey: That's right, yeah, yeah

Dan: people from

Reegs: people from that ... the, it's, it's quite an incredible start

Dan: It is, yeah.

Sidey: There's a lot of sniper scope. Yeah. I'm like, "Come on, man. Just get it done."

Reegs: gets down to a sort

Dan: coin going into a parking-

Sidey: a parking

Reegs: Parking

Dan: Parking

Sidey: it's important detail, isn't it?

Dan: quite detailed, isn't it? And-

Reegs: He sets up. It's clear he knows what he's [00:29:00] doing. Sets up, and he sees through the scope, watches a few people, a woman and a child, a guy sitting on a bench, another woman, and then he starts, you know, holding his breath and

Sidey: That's Thomas Emerson. And that's Thomas Emerson

Reegs: that's how mission- Yeah

Sidey: And just snipering people and just taking- Yeah

out random people- He kind of-

Dan: follows people along and yeah, it's just random.

Reegs: And he takes his time

Dan: over it. He's shot five people.

Sidey: This

Reegs: him setting up, but not particularly this bit. He shoots quite a few people quite quickly. It's clear he knows what he's doing.

Yeah. And it's not an, an 18-rated movie, so they do have to cut away, but it's still quite harrowing, I think. Yeah.

Yeah. I

Dan: this

Sidey: be an 18. You know, he's, like, executing people in public. It's, yeah. I mean, you don't see people's face explode necessarily- No ... but you can see people getting fucking ruthlessly slaughtered. So he packs up, gets in his van, drives off, and then next thing- Doesn't police's brass, is that how they say it?

Hmm. There's... So it seems a bit careless. [00:30:00] Yeah.

Dan: Yeah.

Reegs: and the police sweep the scene, don't

Dan: Yeah. They're there within... You know, a SWAT team are coming there, and eventually a, a cop- police cop comes onto the scene

Sidey: actually seen him, haven't we, at this point? Already, he's-- he makes the bullets himself.

Yep. So he's very meticulous. So then to leave a shell casing at

Reegs: at

Sidey: At the scene ... seems careless to me. Yeah.

Dan: Did seem a bit careless. And it's picked up by the, the, the cop.

Reegs: Emerson, his name is, David Oyel- Oyelowo.

Sidey: Emerson

Dan: Yeah. And he's,

Sidey: well, we've got the guy straight away.

His fingerprint. Boom.

Dan: it seems an open and c- case, doesn't it? It does. They've got his thumbprint-

Sidey: case, doesn't it?

Reegs: It really does. They've got his thumbprint off of the bullet and off of the par- off the coin, which Emerson has had a great idea to empty the parking meter and get the coin off

Sidey: And this guy that they've now got the deets of has got previous.

Reegs: He's an ex-Army sniper. James Barr is his name, and they ... The police have, pretty much instantaneously, [00:31:00] ran at his house- Yeah ... knock him down the door, and they find him drugged and r- on his bed. And they take him back to the-

Sidey: They've got

Dan: the gun, they've got the- The smoking gun.

They've got the evidence ... the

Reegs: evidence ... bullets They've ... We've seen it's the same place where he was making bullets in the intro, even though we can see that this is a different guy to the one that we know- Yeah ... took the shots. Yeah. But they bring him in- Well, they

Dan: do that kind of slow reveal. You only know that after a second or two, don't you?

Sidey: interrogation room, I think

Dan: you're like, "Was that the same guy? Is he shaved or is it like..." No, I'm sure

Sidey: And they- They

Reegs: oh, you know, they start saying What are they? I can't remember what they accuse

Sidey: What

Reegs: he's got name

Sidey: do they? I can't remember. Well, he's got a notepad.

Reegs: He, he just writes, "Get Jack

Dan: No, you've got two choices. We've got the DA who's never lost here. You're either gonna spend your life in jail- Oh, that's right, the DA ... or you're gonna, you're gonna,

Sidey: gonna

Dan: you're gonna die. You know, you're gonna go to the chair. That's your choice. And he just writes down-

Reegs: down-

Sidey: The first to die

Dan: The best guy

Jack Reacher. Get me Jack

Sidey: get Jack Reacher.

Dan: And that is his contribution [00:32:00] to,

Sidey: so they do

Dan: do

Reegs: the,

the

Dan: interrogation, and they don't know who Jack Reacher is. That's right. They've no idea.

Reegs: they're talking about that, aren't they? Who is this guy? And they look him up, and we get another one of the, "He's got two Purple Hearts, three Silver Crosses-"

Sidey: is he? We don't know.

Reegs: We don't know. And then, "He's a ghost."

And then, oh, he's just at the door-

Sidey: Here he is.

Reegs: He just turns up, like-

Sidey: He just turns

Dan: is this guy? And they look him up, and we get another one of the, "He's got two Purple Hearts, three Silver Crosses." Where is he? We don't know. "He'll kill three p- We don't know." And then, "He's a ghost." Yeah. And then, "Oh, he's just at the door." Yeah. Really? He just turns up.

Secretary comes in. "There's a Mr. Jack Reacher for you." Yeah. Okay.

Reegs: So he

Dan: And then we meet Cruz

Reegs: Yeah. And he knows Barr, has history with Barr. Yeah.

Sidey: Barr had previous being... He is a Roman.

Reegs: He'd shot-

Sidey: got off on a sort of technicality. They couldn't really be bothered to prosecute him, it seems.

Reegs: He talked about the boredom of this guy goi- He'd been trained for thousands of- Yeah ... hours to shoot his weapon,

Sidey: done two years-

Reegs: done- Sort of rationalized ... two years in,

... Well, I suppose they're just explaining some of the stuff that he did as a

Sidey: been r- basically watching through his scope for days and years and never been able to fire or kill anyone.

Reegs: anyone. And he's being sent home. Yeah. So he suddenly ... He [00:33:00] goes and takes these guys

Dan: guys out

Sidey: in Iraq and Afghanistan,

Dan: He was in Iraq and Afghanistan, wasn't he? Yeah And he was constantly being primed, ready to take people down, but was never actually given the, the order to do it The

Reegs: So he, one night, one day just decides to take his weapon and off these bad guys outside the thing. They were private contractors. He just wanted to see some heads explode. But it turns out they were doing, what did he call it? Like a rape

Dan: a rape alley or something.

Reegs: rape

Sidey: rape carnival or something like that. Some horrible expression. So

Reegs: horrible expression. Because

Sidey: they'd raped something like 20 people in this weekend of, like, whatever the fuck they were up to, the fact that they'd been killed was, like, quite a neat and tidy thing.

Reegs: The army decided to cover it all up- Yeah ... not

Sidey: Just don't, don't do it again" and fucked him up ... and prosecute Barr. Which is an easier thing to

Dan: it again It was just an easier thing to do, yeah. I mean, there was vibes of Full Metal Jacket when he's just cleaning his gun- Yeah ... and- Yeah ... doing that. So you just realize Barr is obsessed. He was an absolute obsessive,

Sidey: it seems nice and cut and dry that he's [00:34:00] probably the guy that would do this. And,

Reegs: that would- And Reacher is not the kind who will just sort of forget about that sort of stuff- No

so he- he's got

Dan: on the brain But, but when he sees Barr, Barr has been...

Somebody's beaten the shit out of him 'cause he got sent into prison for a few days, and everybody had heard about this notorious killer who's just gunned down a load of innocent people. And

Sidey: He'd

Dan: been, you

know,

beaten the fuck out of on the

Sidey: of

Dan: b- in the bus going to prison or something, and he's in a coma now

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah so he can't speak, he can't say anything.

Sidey: And

Dan: who's the, the DA's- The

Reegs: DA's- The DA's daughter ... associate? DA's daughter.

Sidey: DA's daughter

Dan: daughter

Reegs: guy, the DA, this guy who's got the un- impossible record. He's never been- What's his name? It's Robert

Dan: Robert Jenkins, yeah

Reegs: Jenkins, yeah.

He, his daughter is Rosamund Pike, and she is the, been hired as part of the defense team, and Reacher is sort of brought on as an investigator for them, and he goes off to kind of assess [00:35:00] the guilt or otherwise whether Barr would've done this operation, and

Sidey: had told Barr that if he ever killed again, he would turn up to- Yeah ... sort him out and make sure he went down.

So he's not there to bust him out. He's there to make

Reegs: make sure he goes down. Make sure he goes down. And in meantime, he sends off Rosamund Pike's character, Helen. She's got a bit of a thankless task even though she does a lot of the legwork in the second half of the movie. But she's just lawyer and love interest, that's it.

But she's sent off to find out about the victims to at first to kind of like, it seems like he's just trying to jar her conscience for supporting this guy, but actually it's a key part of gathering information for the finale of the movie and what's been happening. He'll work out basically that-

Sidey: Well, he tells her, doesn't he?

He says, "I'll, I'll help you. I'll, I'll sort of do a bit of investigation work on Barr, but you need to look into the victims."

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: And she can't really understand well, 'cause it's, it's very unusual that the guy defending the, you know, the, the lawyer defending the [00:36:00] killer is gonna go and speak to the victims and try and understand from

Sidey: 'Cause he's already Sherlocked it to think these aren't five random-

Dan: These, yeah

Sidey: people that have been killed. There's something more to this.

Dan: Who- who's making this not

Reegs: he starts figuring that out after he becomes the target himself as well Yeah He's in a bar where he's set up, and it gives him a good chance to show off his fighting skills.

Sidey: He gets sort of honey trapped by a girl, and he's- Yeah,

Dan: He doesn't fall for it. He's too cool

Sidey: And it's-

Reegs: cool ... and- But the guy, Jeb, and his

Sidey: He, he calls her a, he calls her a whore, I think. Yeah. And and then he says, "No, I meant slut." And then, so they're like, "Right, outside."

And he's like, "N- no you don't want that. It's fine." And they're like, "No, no, fucking outside." So he does this-

Reegs: he says to him, "Well, we can do the fight inside or outside." And he's like,

Sidey: like,

Reegs: "Outside." Has a little think about it.

Sidey: he, and he s- he tells them exactly what's gonna happen. He says, "I'm gonna take you out, the ringleader."

Reegs: ring leader." Yeah.

Sidey: "And then two of your mates are still gonna be up for it. I'll take them out, and then the other two will run. The, the last two always [00:37:00] run." And they're sort of looking at him like, "Fucking hell, this guy's fairly fucking confident."

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. And then he's, and he's, before they even throw punches, says, "Just remember, you wanted this."

You, you wanted- "You want this." Yeah. Like- There, there is

Dan: "Just

Reegs: remember, wanted- You ar- you wanted it

Dan: Yeah. They, they had another scene in the, in the other Reacher with the prime one that we did in the midweek where he's fighting four guys, and he goes "I'm gonna break the arms of, of three of you."

Yeah. "Yeah, but there's four of us." "Yeah, one of yous needs gonna dri- gonna need to drive to the hospital." He's

Sidey: remind me, Road House- Yeah, yeah

he sort of says the same thing in that, doesn't he? So he does, he d- you know, he, the fights are quite good. He does he does have to wear a few. Yeah. But he does take them out, and immediately the police are there. And so that's when he's like-

Reegs: he's like- This is a

Sidey: a little bit disturbing ... he's like okay." He's like, "That's a hell of a response time, fellas."

Yeah. And then he, as he's pinned to the ground and he's got the, the ringleader guy there, he's like, you know, "Who you working for?" And he straight away he knows, you know, this isn't a normal bar fight. There's something more to this. Yeah. It's all connected.

Dan: And he also knows he's not gonna get prosecuted because then they'd be able to bring up a load of information about- Mm-hmm ... the group and, [00:38:00] and different bits and pieces. Ooh, is that the last one or am I getting mixed up?

Sidey: Poor old Sandy though, the girl, she just starts getting caught up in all of this now. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah, he goes to try and... He tries to tell her to, to leave town, basically. And then especially when... Oh, it's quite comedy. It's a comedy scene, really, when the guys who were in the bar fight come to try and find him again, and they beat the shit out of each other really by

Sidey: by accident.

Yeah. In the bar they just keep falling over each other trying to

Reegs: They both fall over each other. And then he uses the head of one guy to knock out the other. I've never seen that before, which is quite good. And then there's a car chase, actually. After he finds out that Sandy, Yeah ... gets murdered, he tries to barge into their work, and the guy's like, "Oh, can I see something?"

He means ID. He's like, "What do you mean? The inside of an ambulance."

Dan: Yeah, a few clever lines

Reegs: Sandy gets offed by the Jai Courtney guy that we've

Sidey: that was- Yeah, but it turns out that there's, there's some sort of shady organization behind all this, and we've seen We- Werner Herzog's name in the credits, so you're waiting for him to appear.

Yes. And then he does appear, and he [00:39:00] is the kinda handler, boss type thing of Jai Courtney's assassin. And he- He's sick ... he's got the David Bowie, what's it called it thingy? Heptachromia. Yeah, heptachromia where he's- He's not

Reegs: not actually, I think it's just a cataract in

Sidey: Is it, is that what it is, yeah Yeah and he just is in the shadows being sinister as fuck and-

Reegs: he's eating off his own fingers.

Yeah ... he had

Sidey: get out

last time. Yeah, so when the, when the g- when the, one of the guys comes to them and, and- He's fucked up. And- They've, they've got ways of handling these things, and they've, this guy's gone off-piste and fucked it, and so bring in a bit of heat. They're like, "Well, you need to chew your own fucking fingers off or- Yeah

we're gonna

Dan: a fairly, Take it grimly ... we wanna know what you're, you're worth. Like how, how bad do you want this?

Sidey: wanna survive, like I did, you'd fucking bite your own limbs

Dan: We need somebody rare

Reegs: the Gulag, and he's changed.

He's forgotten his name, so he's called now Prisoner Human Being. Yeah. That's what his name

Sidey: the prisoner. Yeah. We,

Dan: want somebody rare he says, you know. And and this guy has a go at biting his own, I think he starts on [00:40:00] his thumb unusually. He

Sidey: for a, a few seconds.

He's like, obviously he

Dan: And he can't, he can't do it.

Sidey: no delay. It's just like bang, executed.

Dan: Can you do it?

Bite

Reegs: own? No, I don't think so. No. No. No, I couldn't do it.

Sidey: No.

Dan: No, I couldn't do it. I'm not

Sidey: And then just calm as you like, he just like Jack Hawkins opens his jacket and pulls out a big saw.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: And this is what they do.

Dan: No, he goes "Well, I can't understand why everybody always

Reegs: always- Always chooses the bullet ... for the gun."

Dan: But do you think you could do that if,

Sidey: if-

Reegs: if-

Dan: you actually...

Like, if somebody's got a gun there, could... Do you think you could

Sidey: think you could bite through your own finger?

Or was it 27 hours or whatever it is- Yeah ... for you to cut- He-

Dan: whatever he

Sidey: cut your own arm off? No. I th- you know.

Reegs: In that, he... the big bit is not the cutting, it's when he has to break the bone. He has to use his own weight to break the bone. that's the more horrible. Yeah.

Sidey: more... Yeah.

Dan: Wow.

Sidey: So there is,

Reegs: is a cool car chase as well- ... cool chase ... 'cause he, Cruise sees the body of Sandy being taken

Sidey: It's a really sloppy bit of crime scene stuff- True

'cause their, her head is just hanging off the gurney.

Reegs: But in this, then there's, like, a car chase scene, which is him being driven throughout the streets, and it [00:41:00] mixes up a few different things. And the... and it's Tom Cruise doing the actual stunt

Sidey: know it is, 'cause he loves this kind of shit. Yeah.

Reegs: And they really show that off. There are several shots where they do, like, some J

Sidey: is rad as well.

Reegs: Car The car's really rad, and then the camera will zoom right through, and it doesn't have that uncanny valley effect. It zooms right through to show you that was Tom Cruise- Yeah ... that did that cool thing.

And then it has a really inexplicable bit. Do you remember how this car chase ends? It go- it has a splashy bit first, then it's a bit cat and mouse as he hides from the helicopter.

Sidey: into their car. Yeah. He ends up going the wrong way down a tunnel. Yeah

Reegs: Then as he gets towards a bus stop, the car's all fucked up and he just walks out of it as it's still rolling

Sidey: he goes over to the bus stop

and

Reegs: blends in with the crowd, who just decide- The black guy's like-

Sidey: He's made from that ... for no reason, "Here's my cap so you can..." I guess they just hate the police that much.

Reegs: just hated police that much." There's a million cops there. Yeah.

Dan: And they all close in on him, so they can't see.

Reegs: Just know he's all right

Sidey: then he just gets on the bus, and you can see David's IYDY, but it's not IYDY, going mad outside the window.

It

Reegs: Yeah, I guess That

Sidey: fucking hate the [00:42:00] police. It just... Then you don't know who this guy is.

Reegs: So anyway, Reacher's worked out that actually it was all bullshit. It was a setup to frame this guy, James Barr. And it was actually, there was a single target there, this woman, Oline Archer, who wouldn't sell her company, and she was really the reason that this shooting...

It was an assassination under the cover of a killing spree, basically.

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: To be,

Sidey: There's, there... When- So that's the conspiracy ... from the crime scene photo, he's been followed by a car for a lot of this. Yeah. And the car is registered to such and such a company. Exactly. And in the crime scene photo of the woman who's been shot, you see that name on one of the bits of paper that she's dropped on the floor.

Reegs: And in the meantime, Helen's trying to bring this up, and it's, there's been a question all the way through, like, is her father in on the conspiracy as well? Is Robert Jenkins

Sidey: Jenkins in on it? Well, he says it's either your father or it's the police cop, because when I knew blah- That's it. Yeah ... only you, your dad, or him knew.

Yeah.

Dan: And they've had a couple of sexy moments. Haven't got too sexy. He's

Reegs: saw him without his shirt on and [00:43:00] went

Dan: What is he? He's, he's still- Maybe that's all I'm gonna say

Sidey: looked that great without his shirt on, to be honest. He's, he's...

Dan: But what, how old is

Sidey: he? He'd have been in his 50s here-

Dan: Yeah. So

Reegs: looked pretty good for a guy in his 50s, but- But

Dan: But not when you compare it to the, the other Jack Reacher- Yeah

who we saw, who was just-

Sidey: Which is really

Dan: Arnold Schwarzenegger- Yeah ... kind of, buff. Yeah. And Cruise is, is looking good, but not like Reacher good, what I'd expect. Yeah. You know?

Reegs: So she I- it's sort of up in the air. She gets taken by ... It turns out it was actually the cop, Emerson.

Sidey: she confronts her old man.

Reegs: Yeah. 'Cause he's been

Sidey: sort of a prick to her the whole time anyway.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: He doesn't sort of trust her or

Reegs: No, exactly. It's n- it's a, she ... It's a lose-lose for her because she's like, "Oh, here's all the compelling evidence I have of this conspiracy." And he's like, "You're totally absurd."

But y- you're left thinking, oh, is that because he's in on the conspiracy, or is that because he's-

Sidey: of the things that- ... he

Reegs: his daughter

Sidey: [00:44:00] Jack says to her is, "You need to look into the victims and also find out about the fucking shooting ranges around here, because whoever has done this would've n- need to fucking practice and the, the...

You need to find a range that has a long enough-" Yeah "... fucking blah, blah."

Dan: And it won't be this close, it'll be that far away, and there's only gonna be so many of them.

Sidey: she comes back and she goes, "I found it. It's the one where Robert Duvall works."

Reegs: works." Yeah.

Sidey: Yeah. Yeah. So, so he- Back when he was serious

yeah, he goes out there and he's basically told by Robert Duvall that, "I will only tell you crucial information to this murder plot if you can hit the target." Yeah. And you're like, "Really?"

Reegs: Yeah. And

Dan: he goes, "Oh, what's your name?" And he goes, "Oh, Willie, Willie Jennings" or something. He goes, "Oh, you're a second baseman for the New York Yankees in 1929," because that's the pseudonym that Reacher always uses of second baseman or something, or second hitters for- Yeah ... from the back in the day.

But he does make his,

Sidey: he's a bit rusty,

Dan: three out of four. He [00:45:00] has one mulligan, doesn't he? Yeah. And,

Sidey: him a breakfast bowl and then, yeah, he gets the rest

Dan: then you get to the rest ... he then hits like three or four,

Reegs: and- That earns him Duvall's respect.

Yeah. And then he gives him some crucial

Dan: it's a long way off,

Sidey: He's a bit Yoda-ey, isn't he? Yeah. He's quite Yoda 'cause when they have the, the, The big showdown in the quarry, he's-- they're looking over and he's like, "Why are you..." 'Cause he's just got one eye open, and he's like, "Why are you doing that?"

He goes, "I'm not using, wasting my night vision eye over there." Wow.

Reegs: That

Dan: That target though, how far is that? Well, it was 700 meters or yards or something.

Reegs: far away, Dan.

Dan: yeah. Yeah. It looked it.

Reegs: But from Duvall, who now, they, they bond because of their sort of shared military background, and now he's passed this test or whatever it was, and Duvall then coughs up the information that he's actually got the accomplice, Jai Courtney, on

Sidey: Yeah, it's the CCTV, isn't it, that

Reegs: Before long they're able to sort of track him down, and the conspiracy is uncovered. But what's the chops, Helen is by this point been abducted by the naughty people- Yeah ... and [00:46:00] taken. They phone him up and they think they've got the other hand, and he's just... It's quite good 'cause they're like, "Oh, you know, come and meet us here or we're gonna kill the bird."

And he's like, "Nah, it's an ambush. Fuck it. I've got the... I've got all the information.

Sidey: I've got

Reegs: don't care about the woman. I'll see you later." Slams the phone down, and it's like,

Dan: in the town

Reegs: The guy's like, "Okay, we're gonna have to try again." And then he phones him back and goads him. He's like, "Oh, now we'll do this man on who's the best man, winner takes all," sort of thing.

And when he starts getting all pissy with him, he hangs up on him. But anyway, eventually it comes to set up a big shootout, climactic finish at a quarry.

Dan: Yeah. Love a quarry finish. Yeah.

Reegs: And it's... Because the action is, is Chris McQuarrie, and he- Yeah, I was gonna say. Is- There's no McQuarrie in there.

The action is really well staged. It's quite a lengthy... It's a half hour, 40-minute sequence, but you get to see Mitch do all kinds of cool stuff under the cover of

Dan: and Duvall having a couple of long pot shots just taking people out. Well,

Reegs: give him a weapon, will he? He gives him a knife.

Sidey: Yeah. He doesn't bring you out here to have you kill people with my guns. Yeah.

Reegs: [00:47:00] So but you get to see him do loads of cool stuff, take out these guys. He uses Duval as a distraction a couple of times. I mean, he- he's just so efficient, takes all the guys down. Eventually has a hand-to-hand fight with Jai

Sidey: Courtney as well.

It's quite good, innit? 'Cause it's not one of those silly fights where the punches don't actually mean anything. Yeah. Like they're fucked, like after a couple of proper smacks.

Reegs: proper smacks. That's it. Yeah. Yeah. People are out.

Dan: Although what I liked about Jack Reacher is the fact that he would just... He wouldn't do that. He would just shoot him.

Reegs: Yeah.

Sidey: know? That's

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: he does

Reegs: And which is what he does at the end when they finally catch up to Zec Werner Herzog.

Sidey: Werner Herzog. Which was the best bit though. He gives his- Yeah ... mobile number. Well, he shoots, he shoots the corrupt cop- Yeah ... through her hair.

Yeah. Which is a hell of a

Reegs: Sure. Well, he's that good. Yeah. He's just that damn good.

Sidey: He, like, he's hiding to the side of the door, turns around, bang, shoots right past her head, which I've seen The Wire, that would kill you. And then just as she's, she's on the phone- Yeah ... getting the police cops in, and he just, just fucking executes him while she's on the phone.

And she's like, [00:48:00] "What about justice?" He said, "I just fucking did it." He,

Dan: was talking about... Obviously the baddie's talking about how he's, "Well, I'll go and do a few, you know, years in prison."

It's like a, it's like heaven compared to where I've been. Like, don't worry about it. And he goes, "Yeah, all right. Boom."

Reegs: also, "Don't be so convinced you're gonna get the g- the thing. I'm just gonna pretend I'm an old man." Yeah. "Everyone who could talk about corroborate your story is dead." And he, like, considers it for about two seconds and then just shoots him in the head, executes him.

Like, "Okay, you're right." Yeah. "Look, I'll just do my bit." She's on the phone literally talking to the police like, "Oh, come down here and arrest this guy." Yeah. And he's gone.

Sidey: says, "What about g- what about justice?" He said, "I just gave him it." And

Reegs: he, it, it is a bit like, "Well, you and your dad will sort it out. I'm just going back to my sort of..."

He's like the Incredible Hulk, isn't he?

Sidey: Or the Littlest Hobo.

Reegs: Littlest Hobo. Littlest Hobo. Wandering the

Dan: the Earth. Do do do do

Reegs: earth. Do, do, do, do. They go back to Barr for a brief bit where they get him to confirm he's innocent, even though we've seen it wasn't him anyway at

Sidey: Yeah, we knew that all along. Completely unnecessary. Yeah.

Reegs: Yeah. Only the characters needed that, not the audience.

[00:49:00] And then just, like, it, the proper Littlest Hobo ending is somebody's being abusive to their wife on a bus, and Reacher drives off ready

Sidey: Presumably just shoots him as well.

Yeah. He's

Dan: He's, he, he's ready to knife him in the back of the bus. Yeah, it was probably more enjoyable talking about it than, than watching it, particularly after the, the other Reacher we watched on Prime, which I was much more invested in that actor being Jack Reacher. I don't think, I don't-- You know, Cruise, he just grabbed this, didn't he? He obviously really liked the character. He's got a big, powerful sway in action movies and, And he d- you know, he,

he,

he's definitely not the worst at it. He's, he's very good at it. But given what we know about Jack Reacher, I just think this was destined for a much bigger s- actor, like physically seeing.

I think that goes a long way for this particular character. [00:50:00] Yeah. And so, but anyway, getting away from that there was some laughs, there was, you know, some good action points. Tom Cruise always doing his own stunts and everything is-- it makes- gives that more authenticity in, in those kind of scenes and everything.

But it was still a bit near for me overall. I, I don't know whether it's just this character or, or Tom Cruise playing it that doesn't quite tick the boxes for me, but some people are gonna love this. You know, some people are really gonna en-enjoy it, but it wasn't quite for me.

Sidey: How do you like it compared to the... Obviously, 'cause that's... You've gotta compare it,

Reegs: it, right? I prefer the series- Yeah ... by quite a distance. But I think this is a very well-made movie. Like, the on- action sequences are really clearly done, and it's a good compelling character even if, like you say, it's hard not to think about all the ways in which he's wrong.

But if you just look at it as a kind of tough guy, [00:51:00] tropey, pulpy action movie, maybe a little bit long for that is the problem. Yeah, it was a couple,

Dan: Was it coming in about two hours 20 or something like

Reegs: I liked the way it was quite patient and took its time, especially in the beginning bits. I mean, it's not a rush and rush out and see.

It's just a sort of solid action movie really. Yeah.

That's, that's my

Sidey: It's on Prime, so you can just watch it if you've got Prime.

Yeah. I quite enjoyed... Even though there's no mystery in terms of we know who did it, and we know who... the guy's innocent, but I liked watching it play out. Yeah. I found the movie visually quite gray and sterile. And Reacher same thing with the other one. It's like, you know, mysterious stranger comes to town, and that's the trope.

But because of who he is, like, he's so... Like, there's no charisma. That's not the kind of person he is, but it's hard to, like, love it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. 'Cause it... Yeah. It's different. You know, like Jason Bourne, I don't know if they were trying to get the franchise going with this rather than a TV series, like do this movie.

'Cause this is not the first... The, the series is the [00:52:00] first book, isn't

Reegs: Yeah. This was the, like, ninth

Sidey: don't know if they were gonna try and do movies of all the books, but I don't think it ever got going. But yeah, it's well made. I quite liked... I would've liked to see a bit more Werner Herzog 'cause he was- Yeah

quite sinister, and he felt, like, really underused.

Reegs: All his dialogue is fucking amazing, like he's in a nature documentary or

Sidey: Yeah. I did quite enjoy it, but I wanted more from it as well at the same time. Yeah. So it'd probably be a moderate recommend. I don't know about the numbers it did.

I don't think...

Reegs: about the numbers it

Dan: did.

Sidey: I guess- Did

Reegs: to get a sequel.

Dan: Yeah. I, I think

Reegs: go back, and they never did-

Sidey: Oh, really? ... after that. Budget was 60 mil. Tom Cruise probably took 50 of that. Worldwide gross was 218, so yeah, did all right.

Reegs: Yeah.

Dan: Yeah. I mean, he's, he's done a few, and I'm not an,

Reegs: a

Dan: Cruise hater. In fact, there's some films- Yeah ... I think he's absolutely brilliant in. I just don't think he's an action hero

Sidey: Oh man, Mission Impossible

Dan: Amazing some of them. Really. Do you know what I mean? M- but he was younger then. He did American Made.

Sidey: older than he was there ...

Dan: really, the, the [00:53:00] recent Mission Impossible was decent. I've not seen it, so I, I d- I don't know. Yeah ... but,

Sidey: I mean, if you're talking about someone doing their own stunts, some of them are fucking incredible, like hanging onto the side of the fucking aircraft. Yeah.

Reegs: And the motorcycle jump was- Yeah

c- completely bananas.

Dan: Yeah.

Sidey: So I, even though he's, the guy's clearly bonkers- Yeah

That sort of stuff, I got to, you know, tip of the cap to that stuff. Looking

Dan: forward to seeing Digger.

Reegs: Yeah. I am as well. Which

Dan: he plays an older kinda guy in, and he seems to have just lost his macho...

When he loses his

Reegs: macho-ness-

Sidey: Bit of vulnerability, you

Dan: Yeah. I, I think he's really good at that. And I say that American Made where he played the pilot who was doing the drug runs and- Right ... and built up a big empire, I thought he was brilliant when he does those kind of dramas. He's not so... But for me, I just get a little bit tired of watching him in, in the action hero... They're the ones that make tons of money, and I know they're the ones that- Yeah ... But a little bit [00:54:00] like we talked about Elijah Wood or Daniel Radcliffe- Yeah ... who's made his money out of Harry Potter and is now just choosing stuff that really interests him. And I just think, "Well, maybe this really still interests Cruise," and

Reegs: Oh, I'm sure it, I'm sure it was the-

Dan: just like I'm sure it was. And maybe it's the stunts

Sidey: sure he likes big, big bank as well interests him, I think. Yeah ... I'd give this a moderate to strong recommend.

Reegs: Strong recommend for me, yeah.

Dan: Yeah, it's moderate. Moderately strong. Okay.

Sidey: That's the end of Rita week then. Yeah.

Dan: Reach around.

Sidey: Yeah, it was it was good. I think it's me to Norm. Okay. Would you like to know what they are?

Reegs: Yes.

Sidey: I'm on the fence about one of them, but the... It's the top five. It's top five blues. Blues. Okay. One of the movies yeah,

Reegs: yeah,

Sidey: one of the movies is Three Colors Blue. Okay. Krzysztof Krisla- Krzysztof Kieslowski. And no, 'cause no, [00:55:00] fucking definitely not. Blue Thunder.

Reegs: Oh, okay.

Right. But

Sidey: might change.

I don't know. Where are we gonna find that?

Reegs: Where are we gonna find that? That might be h- hard to find, Blue

Sidey: probably on YouTube. So it's gonna be Blue Week. Okay. So there's that- Okay ... to look forward to. Why? I did that so that you couldn't bully me over WhatsApp.

Reegs: over WhatsApp,

Sidey: 'Cause the- I

Reegs: think yeah, I...

Last week-

Sidey: didn't even get out the

Reegs: I hadn't even got to the door and I was getting messages about-

Sidey: Where the fucking norms? Yeah. So they're, they're there now,

Dan: They're out there. Okay.

Sidey: Cool.

Dan: we will settle down and watch them this week, and look forward to listening with you- Yeah ... next week-

Sidey: Yeah.

Dan: how you thought, what you-

Sidey: All that remains is to say signi- signing out.

Reegs: Rita's left the building.

Dan: Dan's gone

Reegs: He's out there.

Sidey: there. Fucking hell, I thought I hadn't recorded then. That would've been-

Dan: Oh, that