A listener suggested we watch Clue, so we did.
Sidey:Okay. Another classic film that this is actually a listener nomination that VMC asked us to take a look at it. He was watching it and thought we might might be a good one for us
Reegs:Well, he's flattered us really? Hasn't he said I'd like to hear the bad dad's take, but then it was only after I'd watched about half an hour of this movie. I remember that VMC was the listener who kindly recommended the investigators to us, which we all universally despised, I think. And I'm wondering if there's a bit of a theme here trolling us.
Sidey:got it in for us
Reegs:It could be.
Sidey:1985 clue. The first film to be based on a board game.
Howie:and hopefully the last
Sidey:Why'd they call it CLU, not Cluedo in America,
Dan:He's just annoying. Isn't it?
Sidey:the ball games that they enjoy include monop.
Sidey:scrapper, big fans of scrap.
Sidey:yeah. this is set in 1954. Six strangers are ominously invited to a mansion for dinner.
Reegs:They greeted one by one by Tim Carey,
Howie:he was treads in dope shit beforehand.
Reegs:all treading dog shit there. And I it's one of the sort of recurring jokes. I, I use the word loosely.
Sidey:I think we're getting a feel for how much you've enjoyed this. It, he brings them in to one of the rims on the Cluedo board. And they are hosted by Yvette. The maid lifted almost directly out of a lower, low, I
Reegs:Yes, it was Colleen Kemp who has, it's got to be said to very impressive. Bristol testicles. She's got. Big
Sidey:just ask Christopher Lloyd. Cause he, he stared at them quite a lot in this movie. And even the casting, the director said that she was basically cast because of her tears.
Sidey:She went to the audition and she hired a French maid costume. I went to the audition basically, I guess, as you see her in the movie she claims that it was a highly, highly coveted role.
I'm not sure if I
Dan:well, she had the pause to get the pot. There's
Sidey:Pally, Jennifer Jason Lee, to me, Moore and Maradona were considered for the role yeah. Work instead of, for the role of bucks and French made it bad. But eager to run the park, Colleen cam went to the ocean in a French maid costume,
Reegs:So she beat off Maradona.
Dan:I can imagine Diego's turned up with a couple of footballs in place and
Dan:and, and those Argentinian short shorts. So didn't get the part unbelievable.
Sidey:but in a 2013 Buzzfeed retrospective writer and director, Jonathan Lynn admitted that whilst he was impressed with camp's comedic acting skills, it was her well endowed figure that ultimately convinced him. He said there was no avoiding it avoiding them, perhaps. I don't know. The cast are basically introduced one by one.
Reegs:All fake names, aren't they? But they're the names of the characters, obviously from the board game. So you've
Dan:but it's a strong cost. Isn't it?
Sidey:think this is a strong cost?
Dan:Oh, Christopher Lloyd. He was in it.
Sidey:Other people were
Reegs:That guy, who is he does the voices in the Simpsons and he's in spinal tap.
Dan:he was in it,
Sidey:Oh, yeah. Oh
Reegs:Mike McLean is his name, is
it? They're all actors.
Dan:The Guidewire, the N the guy, right at the end to see the caries, the Jesus thing, the cop.
Sidey:I think it's just because the performances were so. I don't know if they're bad or it's just, this is just deliberately like campy and trashy.
Dan:it? It is it's, it's, it's kind of like a panto thing going on there almost. Isn't
Sidey:exactly. I, I, they sounded like a school production slash panto vibe about
Howie:yes, John Lantis as well.
Reegs:he wrote it. Yeah.
Sidey:the was going to direct it, but didn't.
Reegs:I think the setup is fairly good. The first 20, 25 minutes bar sort of. Terrible dark shit jokes. You kind of okay. But then after that, it just devotes when the murders started happening, when Mr. Bird see, turns up, nobody saw him getting killed. Did
Sidey:Did he say he was paid by
Reegs:recognized him, I thought, but who was it?
Sidey:leaving Mr. Body
Reegs:Leaving? Amazing. So after Mr. Bonnie turns up and is Murdered her surprise, surprise the film sort of flips and everybody just starts running around, being really loud and irritating the crushing into each other and sort of yelling at each other for most of it. That's the sort of final hour of this movie is that over and over and over again. and it's fun for a while, but it doesn't take long for it to wear thin even despite a terrific performance from Tim Curry, who I thought was good in this.
Sidey:I D I don't know if you ever read the film magazine title, film
Dan:I'm aware of it.
Sidey:every review had a sort of graph a line graph of like the interest curve. I think they called it and it was, you know, it was like Baba along, whether the film did, he could say for me, it was right at the bottom at the start about 10 minutes out.
And I thought, fuck, mate, this is
Reegs:a long hour and 20
Sidey:diabolical. And then it got to about 25 minutes, half an hour in, and I realized I was fucking loving it. I really enjoyed it for all its faults. It was just trashy, silly fun. I just thought it was, it was quite a bit of a giggle.
Dan:it was as long as you don't take it too seriously, I can add some, add to add some smile without some loss I wasn't rolling around, but it did have some did have some genuinely good moments in it. And one of the things that. Cause I hadn't seen this film before. It wasn't, it was the F it was the first time I'd seen it.
So when it got to the end, I was a little bit like, Oh, because then they gave you another ending
Reegs:Well, I think that is.
Dan:as well. So we, I watched three different endings
Reegs:That really is the story of this movie in many ways, because it was shipped with three different endings,
Dan:Two different cinemas. So if you went to a, a different set, which I thought was really kind of strange way to through it as well,
Reegs:I think one ending, more than enough.
Howie:It's just got like a cult following.
Dan:I think it does. Yeah.
Howie:Is it like Rocky horror picture show type of thing where people watch it and guess what ending they're going to get or
Sidey:Well, I think it was probably more like the room and the it's just fucking, you know, You could sit and just pick holes in it. Cause it's fucking shit. And it's so objectifying Yvette, you know, with their tits. And I said to my missus, at one point, I said, I can't believe we've not seen our knickers yet.
Cause that fucking thing she's graded is social. And then she went up the stairs like, well, there it is. Yeah. And a couple of the other older women, you got fucking between the legs shot as well. It, it was fucking, you know, one hand I thought it was fucking dreadful. On the other hand, I actually really
Dan:Oh, the hand was busy.
Sidey:yeah, exactly. Did you recognize the singing telegram go
Reegs:no, but I, that is one of the scenes that I remembered even before I was watching it, because I watched this movie a few times when I was younger. He was it. Yeah.
Sidey:That was, I can't believe you don't know this, but that was Jane . Who was the rhythm guitarist from the Go-Go's.
Reegs:the go guys. Yeah.
Sidey:Yeah. Yeah. So shame on you for not remembering.
Reegs:You're saying he Telegraph
Dan:Well, it was strange, I suppose. I dunno whether they try to remain true to the board game and that was why there was that kind of running around scene or, you know, there is that craziness going on.
Reegs:well, it says sort of slapstick, vaudeville. Overacting type ending. And Tim Curry, I think is really good at it. And when he's walking you through all the endings and he's pretending to be dead and falling out of cupboards and stuff, I thought that was quite good, but everybody else is just kind of running around and yelling and being really fucking irritating and opening doors a lot.
There was a lot of doors being opened. Did you notice that or
Dan:too long. Maybe
Reegs:It was two endings too low.
Sidey:you ever play Cluedo?
Sidey:it was a shit game. You
Dan:I never got into it. Yeah.
Sidey:didn't watch the film. I think the first time, because I saw, I don't like the board game, why would I watch a fucking movie about it?
Reegs:I mean, it's pointless to walk through the endings, isn't it? Because
Sidey:I realized exactly what I was about to do.
Reegs:but a lot of stuff happens to a lot of people. Cause that's 90% of what the movie is. It's like way loads of explanations of things you don't care about and you don't care who dies or why.
Sidey:Well, that's true. Ending a and B are sort of dressed up as being potential endings and ending C is the actual ending that is supposed to be the real ending. Is that that's how they dressed it
Sidey:ending C is where everyone's killed it. Someone,
And then G J Edgar Hoover turns up for some reason.
Sidey:of course he does.
Dan:It's it's a nice idea, I guess, to go and make a film out of a really popular board game. You say it's not been done before. Maybe
Sidey:I was thinking, cause there's Dungeons and dragons stuff, but that's not a ball game. I said role-playing game.
Reegs:Malick has been trying to do a university of life for ages. I'm just totally making it up. Ridley Scott is always wanted to do a movie about the monopoly hat, but just the hat
Dan:Yeah. I'm going straight to jail.
Reegs:again. I know I've just made that up
Dan:wall Harvey Weinsteins goes straight to jail. Do not collect 200. He was going to make a, but you've for me, this I'm not sure that. I would want to roll the dice on this again, to be honest, I think it's probably, you know, once is enough to, to have watched it, but I'm glad I did watch it.
I'm glad that I'd seen it. I really liked the house. I thought that was, you know, so shots wise and, and props and, and setting in that, I thought it was really, really cool. It was some place. It was some house, some set. Yeah.
Sidey:How are you? You sadly, weren't able to watch the whole thing. Are
Howie:I saw up to 17 minutes
and then Amazon
Reegs:in that first 17 minutes?
Howie:There's a lot of dog shit and layering. That's basically it dog shit layering. And then when Mr. Nobody turns up and he's really rude to the French made it went.
Dan:That was enough for you
Howie:Well, Amazon, the, obviously the inbuilt processor that works out, whether or not I'd like a film or not went fuck off and just turned it off for me.
Sidey:I think you should find a way to say it cause it's, it's worth a look.
Was supposed to be in it, but she was in rehab.
Reegs:Hey, was she gonna play? Was she gonna play miss Scarlet.
Reegs:I watched this movie a few times when I was a kid and I really enjoyed it watching it now. No, it didn't work for me. It was lots of things. I don't really like a lot of overacting. It goes dangerously close. And not just because of Tim Curry, but it goes dangerously close to a kind of Rocky horror type vibe to it, of all of the loud shouty overacting shit that I really despise.
So no, I didn't, I didn't enjoy this. Neither did John R Ripan who in a two star Amazon review. Titled clue don't
Reegs:terrible. Nothing was acceptable,
Dan:still gave it two stars.
Sidey:it's still had, you know, one star more than the lowest.
Is that something he must've something must've been acceptable
Sidey:him. I'm calling bullshit on that review.
Dan:And do you have a, have a better review of this or did it just stop at that one?
Reegs:I just stopped at clue. Don't it. Wasn't going to
Dan:Yeah. Clue down it did it didn't no.
Sidey:You can catch this on Amazon prime, if you wish. I would recommend that you watch it once and no more than that. Cause I kind of enjoyed it despite thinking that it was mostly shit.
Dan:I really want to think he shit, wait till late, take it off the free version on Amazon and you have
Reegs:and then you have to pay for it.
Sidey:definitely watch it now because it's on the prime availability. So I would say yes, I was mostly entertained by this
Dan:Yeah, I would say if I've got two dice maximum 12, this is a seven
Howie:I reckon, I think 17 minutes worth was all I could cope with. Thankfully.
Sidey:Well, that's uh, take on kudos. Thanks for the nomination vibes. If anyone has any other films, they want us to take a look at for our midweek show. They give us a nomination. You can find this on. Twitter at, at dad's underscore film. That's the best place to catch us really?
Don't forget to tune in on Friday where we're talking about loads of cool shit like guns and the Simpsons, and a really, really funny film, but how he absolutely loved don't miss that one. Dan, have you got some donations for next week?
Dan:I, I do. So I'm going to do a top five and what I'd like to do is films of color. And when I say that, I mean, films that have a color in the title, so it could be the hunt for the red October. It could be the green mile um, the big blue. And I know there's that, that might go along that theme.
Reegs:One in the pink, one in the state.
Dan:don't get all the good ones now. The, the film, actually, it was going to be a midweek movie, but I want it to to pump it up because we're, we're watching mortal combat. So it's a Dustin Hoffman flick it's little big, man. Have you ever seen this one? Okay. So I think you could enjoy this with the kids.
I think it's a, a nice film to watch on the family thinks Sunday afternoon that kind of vibe and check this one out.
Sidey:It a double bill with bone Tomahawk.
Dan:not, why not? And for the kids TV this week, it's a Netflix thing. It's something that we've just finished watching called the unlisted season. One episode one, we need no,
Reegs:You show up, you show it. We'll be able to find it. Yeah.
Dan:four or five Israel.
Sidey:Cool. That sounds great. Lots to look forward to. Don't forget to tune in on Friday, cause it all fucking goes off in that episode. That's it Saturday signing out.